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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Live Results & Report! (1/15/19)

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SmackDown celebrates Shane O’Mac’s birthday! What will The Miz have planned for his “Best Birthday Bash in the World” to celebrate? Plus, Mysterio VS Almas!

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Becky Lynch VS Peyton Royce w/ Billie Kay; Lynch wins.
  • Asuka VS Billie Kay w/ Peyton Royce; Asuka wins.
  • Samoa Joe VS Mustafa Ali; No Contest.
  • Rey Mysterio VS Andrade “Cien” Almas w/ Zelina Vega; Almas wins.
  • The Miz w/ Shane McMahon VS Sheamus w/ Cesaro; The Miz wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Becky Lynch drives up!

The Man is immediately interviewed about her rematch for the SmackDown Women’s Championship. Is she really ready for Asuka? They’ve been waiting to ask that? They’ll get the answer, in the ring. Becky passes by The new Day and Heavy machinery making some kind of pancake protein shake… Otis likes! Wanna sip? No! Becky comes by, and takes a swig. “It’s a little weak.” The Man’s got a point! And she’s headed to gorilla!

Birmingham, Alabama gives Becky an ovation as she walks down the ramp! Becky grabs a mic as fans chant her name. “In two short weeks, I get the opportunity at the Royal Rumble to take back my SmackDown Women’s Championship.” The same title the whole world talked about. But where is it now? The whole roster thinks what Becky is is a fluke. They think getting everyone to listen, connecting with the fans and creating a buzz is “easy”. Until they try it for themselves. Men and women alike, on both brands, all want that next gear of badass like Becky. And Asuka is finding out “just how hard leading this division really is.” Becky knows there are those who want to discredit her as just hype. And yet Becky delivers on everything she says every single time.

But if we want to talk about hype, talk about the “indestructible” and “unbeatable” Asuka’s hype. Yet she lost to Charlotte Flair. And not only did she lose, it shook Asuka to her core and she fell off the map. And yet Asuka talks about her hype. The once invincible Asuka couldn’t beat Charlotte when Becky did months around the world. And yet everyone wants to know if Becky’s ready for Asuka? Speaking of, here comes Asuka! The Empress of Tomorrow heads down the ramp and joins Becky in the ring. Asuka picks herself up a mic and tells Becky, “You like talk. You like hype. Buzz buzz buzz, they’re like little bees. But with no sting! After Royal Rumble, you will not be in Charlotte’s shadow. You will be in MINE!” But wait, here come the IIconics!

Peyton Royce & Billie Kay are already armed with mics of their own and go oh no no no. Asuka shouldn’t talk like that. Making scary faces and threats? Where’s the dignity and class of a champion? Asuka’s bad, but look at Becky. Very bossy, “Bossy Becky”. Typical behavior from a man. Well nonsense aside, it doesn’t matter if it’s Becky or Asuka, both IIconics will win the Women’s Rumble match! And then they’ll both become the WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions! And then Wrestlemania will be absolutely IICONIC! Strike the pose! Becky tells Asuka that the buzz is real. And she dares the IIconics to step up to The Man, to be made into an example! Who will challenge the Lass Kicker and get the lass kicked?

 

Becky Lynch VS Peyton Royce w/ Billie Kay!

SmackDown returns, and the IIconic to step up is the Venus Fly Trap, Peyton Royce! Asuka watches ringside, accepting Becky’s offer to see what the buzz is about. Becky offers a handshake, but uses it to sucker punch Peyton! Peyton rolls out but Becky is on her and puts her back in the ring. Bekcy rolls Peyton, TWO so Becky mule kicks Peyton. Becky rolls Peyton and wants her submission but Peyton gets to ropes. Peyton demands Becky back off to give her a breather. Fans rally up for Becky but Peyton shoves her. Becky punches back! Becky whips and calf kicks Peyton down! She backslides Peyton, TWO, so Becky arm-drags Peyton down. Asuka is moderately impressed while Becky wrenches Peyton’s arm.

Meanwhile, the Lady of NXT, Lacey Evans, watches backstage. Does this mean the Model Soldier has interest on being Team SmackDown? Becky tells Asuka this is what she can expect, but Peyton endures. Becky rolls and stomps Peyton, but Peyton rolls away. The IIconics regroup but keep their distance from Asuka. Becky runs to bop Peyton with a dropkick. She puts Peyton in but runs into a big knee! Peyton clubs away on Becky and Billie fires up with her bestie. Peyton grounds ‘n’ pounds then covers, TWO! Becky gets to ropes but Peyton is on her with stomps in a corner. Peyton throws haymakers, but runs into a knee. Becky throws forearms back and whips, but Peyton reverses. Peyton hits a corner clothesline, then brings Becky out for more clubbing forearms.

Becky flounders but Peyton chokes her on the ropes. Peyton backs off at 4 while Billie talks trash. Peyton snapmares and wraps Becky in a chinlock. She thrashes Becky around but Becky endures. Fans rally up and Becky fights her way out of the hold. Peyton throws Becky down by her hair, then runs in at the corner. Becky boots her away then hops up. Becky leaps for a flying forearm! Cover, TWO! Peyton escapes again and regroups with Billie. Becky comes out to throw Billie aside, but Peyton blasts her with a lariat! Peyton drags Becky up while we go picture in picture.

Peyton puts Becky back in and stomps her down. She kicks Becky to a corner then stomps some more. She bumps Becky off buckles and grinds in her boot. Peyton backs off at the count but comes back in. Becky dodges and jump kicks back! Becky rolls Peyton, TWO! Peyton runs Becky over with a lariat! Cover, TWO! The IIconics are frustrated, but Peyton drags Becky up by her hair. She throws Becky to the apron, then knees her between the ropes. Peyton climbs on for a draping motorcycle stretch! She kicks Becky back inside, then toys with her. Becky gets mad and hits back with body shots! Becky gives European Uppercut after uppercut, then whips Peyton to ropes. Peyton comes back with a big kick! Cover, TWO! The IIconics keep their cool while Peyton drops knees on Becky’s back.

Asuka watches rather stoically as Peyton keeps knocking Becky down. Peyton sits Becky up for a knee to the back and another chinlock around the neck. Becky endures and fights her way up. Becky fights with body shots and scoops, but Peyton slips out to throw Becky down by her hair! Cover, TWO! The IIconics are frustrated again while Becky gets to ropes. Peyton chokes Becky on the ropes again, then kicks her in the side. She brings Becky up for another snapmare, and drives in her elbows and knees. Peyton puts on another chinlock, and Asuka grows curious. Becky fights but Peyton knees her back down as we return to single picture.

Becky endures while Lacey Evans continues to watch. Lacey isn’t amused nor is she impressed by The Man. Becky fights her way back up and fights with body shots and forearms. Becky gives more EuroUppers, then runs, but Peyton follows! But Becky sees it coming and tackles Peyton! Becky rains down rights and fans fire up! Becky lifts Peyton for a Becksploder! Peyton gets to a corner but Becky runs. Peyton dodges but runs into an elbow. Becky jump kicks again, then hops up, only for Peyton to catch her with a heel kick! Peyton yanks Becky down to a cover, TWO! The IIconics are furious now, but Peyton drags Becky up for more. Becky counters with a cradle, and into the Disarm-Her! Peyton taps, Becky wins!

Winner: Becky Lynch, by submission

The Lass Kicker wins, but Asuka doesn’t give her time to celebrate. Asuka shouts in Japanese that she’s more or less not impressed. Asuka glares at Becky and Becky glares back. But Asuka doesn’t fight her, she dares Billie to fight! The IIconics want to leave, but Asuka drags Billie in! The bell rings, and we have our match!

Asuka VS Billie Kay w/ Peyton Royce!

Asuka fires off on Billie with kicks! Billie ducks, only to get a hip attack! Asuka fires up, and hits a shining wizard! Cover, TWO! But right into an armbar! Billie rolls, but Asuka steals the Disarm-Her!! With a little extra to make sure Becky understands. But Billie rolls, TWO! ASUKA LOCK! Billie taps, Asuka wins!

Winner: Asuka, by submission

It seems Asuka used this match to say anything The Man can do, the Empress can do better. And Becky knows it, so she gets right in Asuka’s face about it! They stare down again and fans want to see this go down tonight. But Becky and Asuka keep their cools, while AJ Styles appears!

The Phenomenal One heads to the ring, but for what purpose? He hops into the crowd, then climbs up the steps of the bleachers. Styles has his shot at the WWE Championship and Daniel Bryan, is he just letting everyone know he’s here?

 

AJ Styles visits the concessions area.

The fans are hyped to see the Phenomenal One and his response to Daniel Bryan’s rant last week. There’s hot dogs, popcorn and more! Bryan says the people were unhealthy and lazy. But judging from the excitement in front of Styles and the camera, these people are here spending the money they worked hard to get, let them spend it how they want! You want yourself a hot dog, you eat hot dogs! These fans will be no different than the fans in Phoenix who will see Styles kick Bryan’s ass! Styles will take the title back, so let’s celebrate now! Merchandise for all! Styles throws around his new shirts to the cheering fans, but then Bryan attacks from out of nowhere!

The brawl is on all through the merch stands, and Bryan shoves Styles into the hot dogs! So Styles spinebusters Bryan through the hot dogs! Security scrambles to pull them apart but the fans want to see them fight! Bryan is down in a mess of mustard and ketchup but Styles is hungry for more. Will Styles get his fill in Phoenix?

 

The Usos pose for photos.

But someone brings a gift over. It’s for Jimmy, so maybe an early anniversary gift from Naomi? They open the box, and Jey reads the note for Jimmy. “I’ve been a naughty girl. And I need you to lock me up in the Uso Penitentiary. I’ll be waiting…” Wait, this is from Mandy? Uh oh… Keys to a hotel room… What’s Jimmy gonna do about this? What’s Naomi gonna do about this when she finds out?

 

Samoa Joe heads to gorilla.

But then he spots the Top One Percent, EC3, checking himself in the mirror. Is EC3 going to be SmackDown blue?

 

Backstage interview with Andrade “Cien” Almas and Zelina Vega.

El Idolo already pinned Rey Mysterio once, how will that momentum translate to tonight’s match? Almas says that Mysterio was his idol, but Almas showed Mysterio that times change. Now Almas is the future. Vega says that it’s 2019, and it’s time to focus on the future. Almas will beat Mysterio again, will eliminate 29 others in the Royal Rumble match, and wins the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania. Will the Year of El Idolo begin tonight?

 

Samoa Joe VS Mustafa Ali!

When The Destroyer teamed with El Idolo in a tag team match last week, they were successful over the Beacon of Light and the King of Lucha. Now things split up into singles matches, can the former Heart of 205 Live prove he can be the Heart of SmackDown? Or will Joe crush the Heart and put Ali to sleep?

As Ali makes his entrance, Joe trips him off the ropes! Joe puts Ali in a corner and hits the back elbow to Pele! The bell hasn’t rung so Joe just goes after Ali with rage! He throws Ali right into the post! Joe seethes as he stands over Ali. And he’s not done with Ali, either! He drags Ali up to jab away against the apron! He even throws headbutts until Ali falls back down. Joe drags Ali back up and demands to know “Do you understand?!” Joe throws Ali into another post, and even harder than before! What was Joe’s reason for wrecking Ali? Or does he even need a reason?

No Contest

But wait! Joe isn’t done, he comes back again! And looks to powerbomb Ali at the announce desk, but instead throws him hard into barriers. Joe finally leaves, and stays gone. Will Joe do this to everyone he meets in the Royal Rumble? Will Ali be able to recover in time for that same match?

 

Sonya Deville can’t handle Mandy Rose’s schemes.

Is Mandy really sure she wants to do this? She gave Jimmy Uso a hotel key. That’s literally scandalous. Yeah, that’s the point. Mandy just wants to stick it to Naomi. If there’s any way to mess with her, why not? And obviously, breaking her and Jimmy up is the best way. Mandy heads out for her “date”, but is Sonya right to worry?

 

Rey Mysterio heads to gorilla.

The King of Lucha is ready for his rematch with Almas, but not even he can help but be freaked out by the frenzied Nikki Cross! She’s shaking cage fencing and laughing! “Let Nikki play~! I play with you, Rey!” Rey just shakes his head. Is Mysterio ready for El Idolo?

 

Backstage interview with Samoa Joe.

What exactly provoked that attack on Mustafa Ali? Attack? That wasn’t an attack. That was a statement and declaration! Joe will enter his very first Royal Rumble match, and will win it. To the other 29, “Do you understand!? What I did to Mustafa Ali, that is the exact amount of respect I will treat each and everyone one of you with.” Any champion is now a target and they will be hunted down to be put to sleep. Joe sends his message to all of the WWE, will anyone dare to stand in his way?

 

Rey Mysterio VS Andrade “Cien” Almas w/ Zelina Vega!

The King of Lucha beat El Idolo in their original singles encounter, but Almas got Mysterio back in last week’s tag match. Will Almas be able to stay tranquilo in this highly touted rematch? Or will Mysterio remind everyone why he’s still king?

SmackDown returns as Almas and Vega make their entrance. The bell rings and Almas circles with Mysterio. Almas and Mysterio tie up, and Almas shoves Mysterio to ropes. Almas smirks smugly but Mysterio shrugs it off. They circle and tie up again, and they spin around. Almas throws Mysterio then trips him up, but Mysterio keeps him off. Mysterio wheelbarrows and arm-drags Almas to a corner! Fans fire up for Mysterio but Vega keeps Almas calm. Almas and Mysterio circle again as fans tell Mysterio “You Still Got It!” Mysterio and Almas tie up again, and Almas gets a waistlock slam. Mysterio spins and rolls Almas to a cover but Almas kicks out to return the favor. But Mysterio kicks out quick, and the two stand off! Almas shoves Mysterio, but Mysterio brushes it off. They circle and tie up again.

Mysterio gets a headlock, and holds on as Almas tries to power out. Almas stands back up and fights out with elbows. Almas shoves Mysterio but Mysterio goes up and over to get the headlock back. Vega coaches Almas up as he endures. Mysterio brings Almas to the mat but Almas rolls it up. ONE and Mysterio holds on. Almas fights his way back up, then pulls on the mask! He powers out of the hold but Mysterio just hops back on it! Vega grows frustrated for Almas as he again fights his way up. Almas lifts but Mysterio slips out, only for Almas to kick him down. Vega applauds but fans boo as Almas puts Mysterio in an armlock. Mysterio gets up and endures the hammerlock. Mysterio elbows and rebounds to snapmare, but Almas holds onto the hold!

Almas leans on Mysterio to wrench the lock. Fans rally and Mysterio gets up again. Mysterio gives more elbows but Almas throws him to buckles. Almas goes after a keylock now but fans rally for Mysterio. Mysterio rolls to his feet, then kicks the legs. Almas wrenches the arm but Mysterio throws hands. Mysterio springboards and headscissors Almas down! And then a running headscissor! Almas bails out but Mysterio speeds up. Almas returns but is put on the ropes! Everyone knows what this means! 619 misses, and Almas hammerlocks! Mysterio drops down to roll Almas, TWO! Almas ghost pins, TWO! The two stand off again and Almas says he was that close. Fans applaud the closely matched match as the two approach.

Almas kicks and whips Mysterio, but Mysteiro holds ropes. The dropkick misses and Mysterio buzzsaws Almas back. Mysterio springboards back and headscissors Almas out with him! But Almas holds on to the Electric Chair! He spins Mysterio back for a spin-out powerbomb to the floor! Vega likes what she sees, and we go to break.

SmackDown returns as Almas back flips through a sunset flip powerbomb! Almas runs back in but Mysterio dodges Cien Knees! Mysterio springboards and hits Almas with the seated senton! Mysterio keeps moving, and headscissors Almas again! Fans fire up as Mysterio springboards and moonsaults, but into Almas’ arms. Mysterio spins through to DDT Almas down! Cover, TWO! Vega is relieved that Almas survives. She shouts for Almas to get up but Mysterio has the fans on his side. Almas elbows and runs to sunset flip, but Mysterio rolls through, but Almas ducks the kick. Mysterio runs but into a hip toss into buckles! Almas runs corner to corner, CIEN KNEES! Cover, TWO!! Vega is frustrated and Almas is exhausted by Mysterio’s resilience.

Vega coaches Almas back up, and Almas drags Mysterio up. Mysterio elbows back, but Almas grabs the hammerlock. Mysterio headscissors Almas into buckles! Almas flops down and Mysterio climbs up top. Fans fire up but Almas stops Mysterio by sweeping the legs. Mysterio is stuck in the Tree of Woe on the outside, and Almas climbs up top. Fans rally for Mysterio but Almas takes aim. Mysterio slips through to throw Almas down to the apron! Mysterio climbs now and SUPER huricanranas Almas to the floor!! Fans lose their minds and Vega is stunned silent by that one! Birmingham knows “This is Awesome!” as Almas and Mysterio crawl back to the ring. Mysterio climbs again, and LEAPS for a seated senton! Both men wipe out again, and we go picture in picture.

Almas sputters while Mysterio catches his breath. Vega panics as she shouts for Almas to get up. Mysterio heads for the ring but Almas pursues. The count passes 7, both men get in at 8! Fans applaud the heart of both men as Mysterio drags himself back up. Mysterio fires himself up as he climbs back up. Mysterio leaps, but into a dropkick! Vega feels better now, but Almas still has to get back up. Almas and Mysterio slowly stir and sit up. Almas and Mysterio brawl on their knees with haymakers and chops. Mysterio hits Almas but Almas shoves, and we return to single picture to see Mysterio kick Almas. Mysterio hops on for a Destroyer!! Cover, TWO!! Almas survives and Mysterio’s too tired to be frustrated.

Mysterio whips Almas but Almas reverses, only for Mysterio to headscissor him again. But Almas makes it a cover! TWO!! Vega is furious, especially as Mysterio enziguris Almas. But Almas answers with the boot feint to elbow! Cover, TWO! Almas goes to put his full weight on but Mysterio monkey flips and sunsets, but into an Alabama Slam! Fitting for Birmingham. Almas keeps going and climbs up top. Vega wants him to end this, and he moonsaults! Mysterio rolls but Almas lands on his feet to moonsault again! Cover, TWO!! Mysterio still lives and Vega is beside herself. Fans again say “This is Awesome!” and it’s far from over. Almas runs into Mysterio’s boots, and Mysterio runs to roll and DESTROYER!! Cover, TWO!? Almas survives a second Destroyer and even Vega can’t believe it!

Mysterio calls for his number and fans chant along. Mysterio waits for Almas to get on the ropes, and runs in, but the  619 is blocked! Almas has Mysterio in the torture rack, but Mysterio makes it a crucifix bomb!! TWO?!? Mysterio cannot believe Almas still survives. Mysterio dropkicks Almas back to ropes and runs again, 619 finally hits! Vega freaks out as Mysterio climbs up top. Vega distracts on the apron, and Almas trips Mysterio up! Almas climbs up as fans boo, draping hammerlock DDT! Cover, Almas wins!!

Winner: Andrade “Cien” Almas, by pinfall

El Idolo wins, but not without some help from La Muneca. The singles series is tied 1-1, when and where will the highly needed tiebreaker happen?

 

Jimmy Uso arrives at the hotel.

He walks to a room, and has the key card. Is he doing what it looks like he’s doing?!

 

Jimmy Uso still stands outside the door.

He works up the nerve to knock. And then he uses the key card. He walks into the room, and Mandy waits in a silk robe. Jimmy, come closer. Don’t be shy. The time to play hard to get is over. Mandy starts undoing the robe, and reveals a lacy top. What does he think? What will Naomi think? Jimmy is not here for that. He is here to tell her to stop. Oh they can do this. Because she has a paparazzi photographer! What? Oh please, she never wanted you like that. This isn’t about him, this is about her and Naomi. Mandy hates Naomi, because she acts like she runs SmackDown. But Naomi is nobody, and will never be as hot as Mandy. Jimmy knows it, Mandy knows it, and even Naomi knows it. So when Naomi sees the photos online, they will destroy Naomi’s life.

Jimmy leaves, and Mandy is confused. But when Jimmy returns, he unleashes Naomi! Naomi throws hands on Mandy and throws her into the table! Mandy tackles Naomi to the bed! The two scrap and Naomi throws her at the TV! Mandy stops herself and clubs away. Mandy SLAPS Naomi, but Naomi comes back to throw her down by her hair! Naomi hammers away on Mandy but Many shoves her away. Mandy tosses Naomi over the arm chair, and Naomi is down. Jimmy returns to help Naomi but Naomi still wants after Mandy. Where and when will this fight settle itself?

 

SmackDown shares the news from Raw’s Moment of Bliss.

Alexa Bliss announced on behalf of the McMahon family that at Elimination Chamber, there will be a Six Team Elimination Chamber match to crown the inaugural WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions! The belts are minted and waiting, who will enter this match with a chance at history?

 

The Miz heads to the ring!

The Hollywood A-Lister knows it’s Shane McMahon’s birthday, and promises a “Bestie Birthday Bash” in Birmingham! And the party begins, after the break.

SmackDown returns and Miz welcomes us to The Best Birthday Bash in the World! This can’t be a party without the birthday boy, so bring him out! The Co-Bestie, Shane O’Mac! Shane comes down to the ring and picks up a mic of his own. Miz says that on behalf of the WWE Universe, Happy Birthday! Shane thanks Miz and Birmingham for the well wishes, and fans chant “Happy Birthday!” Shane appreciates all this, but he’s not really the birthday party type. This is no average party! Does this look like Chuck E. Cheese? No, this is an arena full of Shane’s fans! And these are no grocery store cakes. Shane’s favorite bakery shipped not one but two specialty cakes right here! Yes, they do look really nice. Wait is that a picture of them on this one? Yes, them and the Best in the World World Cup trophy!

Miz gives Shane his first present. It’s so hard to shop for Shane because he’s a McMahon! Miz can only imagine the gifts Shane got from Vince as a kid. “Open It! Open It!” Shane does, and reveals… brand new Jordan 33’s! Ultimate performance right here. And now they match any of the outfits Miz has planned. But look to the titantron for the next gift: a highlight reel of Shane’s amazing career! The crazy daredevil leaps, the icons and legends he’s faced, and even the World Cup Tournament where Shane subbed in for his SmackDown superstar, The Miz. But it also points out that the World Cup has united them as the #BestTagTeamintheWorld!

Shane is speechless. But he does thank Miz for that, and for when he opened up about his relationship with his dad. Shane opens up, and says that ever since he was a kid, he dreamed about being a tag team champion. He was going to team with Andre the Giant, but Shane’s very proud to now team with The Miz at the Royal Rumble. They hug and Miz thanks Shane for saying that. Miz vows that at the Royal Rumble, a dream comes true as they become SmackDown Tag Team Champions! But that’s in two weeks. Tonight, we sing Happy Birthday! Happy Birthday~ to you~! But The Bar interrupts at the best part!

Sheamus and Cesaro are embarrassed for Miz. And it’s even more embarrassing that you didn’t invite the tag champs! Though, they apparently didn’t invite Mr. McMahon either. No, they did, but Vince didn’t want to come because he doesn’t care about Shane. And Vince will care even less when The Bar defeats Shane and Miz to become the true best tag team in the world. Shane says The Bar will pay for teaming up on The Miz. Real tough guys, huh? Well Shane has an idea. Let’s see how tough Sheamus is tonight. Sheamus and The Miz can have a match right here tonight! Miz isn’t dressed to compete, though. But Shane wasn’t dressed to go at the World Cup Finals. And it’s The Miz! He’s the Most Must-See Superstar in WWE History! Miz can do that! Then Miz will give this match as another gift to Shane!

 

The Miz w/ Shane McMahon VS Sheamus w/ Cesaro!

Shane O’Mac wants Miz to put the Celtic Gladiator in his place, and that’s what The Miz plans to do! Who will get some impromptu momentum towards their tag title match at the Royal Rumble?

SmackDown returns with the bell, and Sheamus pushes Miz to a corner. Miz hits back with fast hands! Miz whips but Sheamus reverses, but Miz grabs ropes. Sheamus runs but Miz dumps him out. Careful not to crash into the trophy and cake! But Miz wrecks Sheamus with a dropkick! Miz bumps Sheamus on barriers but gets distracted by Cearo. Sheamus clobbers Miz then puts him in the ring. Sheamus stomps Miz out then bumps him on buckles. He rams his shoulder in, then runs corner to corner for a big knee! Sheamus and Cesaro talk trash as Sheamus brings Miz up for Beats of the Bodhrain! He headbutts Miz to the floor, but leaves him out there for the ring count. The count passes 5 before Miz stands. Miz returns at 9.5!

Sheamus is right on Miz and goes for White Noise, but Miz rolls him up! TWO, and Sheamus knees low. Sheamus puts Miz in a corner and rips off his shirt. Sheamus drags Miz up for a headlock. Miz endures and Shane rallies the fans. Miz fights out with elbows, but Sheamus scoops Miz. He slips out and full nelsons but Sheamus arm-drags out. Sheamus runs into boots, and then Miz boots again. Miz throws haymakers, and picks up speed! He whips Sheamus corner to corner but Sheamus reverses. Sheamus runs but misses! Miz hits a dropkick! He goes corner to corner for another! But then he runs into Sheamus’ clothesline! Sheamus catches his breath and puts Miz on the ropes again. He backs off, but Cesaro gets a cheap shot! So Shane throws Cesaro into one of the cakes!

Sheamus sees that and goes after Shane, but Miz rolls him up! Miz wins!

Winner: The Miz, by pinfall

But Sheamus won’t let that go, and he stomps away on Miz! Shane hurries in and saves Miz from the stomps. Shane whips and elbows Sheamus down! And Miz gives Sheamus the Skull-Crushing Finale! The Best Tag Team in the World is finally working like a team, and they drag Sheamus to a corner. Everyone senses what’s coming as Shane heads to the other corner. Shane climbs and Miz grabs himself the other cake! Miz places that cake in front of Sheamus’ face, so that we get a very special birthday COAST2COAST!! Miz makes Sheamus eat the cake along with his words! Will the Co-Besties soon hold the SmackDown Tag Team Championships up alongside the World Cup Trophy?

 


 

My Thoughts:

What a great SmackDown! Even with the continuation of the odd story between Naomi and Mandy Rose. Mandy’s homewrecker motivation does not feel like it should be part of this Fresh Start “Women’s (R)Evolution” Era of WWE. This is something I would’ve expected from the Attitude or Ruthless Aggression Eras, aka The Diva’s Era. And even with this, they still could’ve set up the hotel room brawl better. Instead of Jimmy being there at all, give us Mandy waiting alone in the room. The door knocks, she answers it, and Naomi barrels in so that we still get that same exact brawl but without the moment of Jimmy looking like he might actually cheat.

This line of story also apparently caused the advertised Sonya VS Carmella match to be bumped. Maybe that match happens next week to holla holla turn into a tag match. The FABULOUS Glow could totally join the Elimination Chamber Women’s Tag Title match along with the duo formerly known as Absolution and the IIconics. The IIconics are definitely better off in the Women’s Tag Division, they each got wrecked by the top two women in the singles division. Peyton put up a decent fight against Becky, but then Billie gets extra squashed by Asuka. Asuka VS Becky is going to be aggressive, but depending on how Becky VS Ronda comes about, I feel like Asuka is sadly a transitional champion.

But perhaps Asuka will win and Becky just decides to go to Raw on her own. Lacey Evans made a much more substantial appearance tonight than she did on Raw, so perhaps both Lacey and Nikki Cross join SmackDown in exchange for Becky going to Raw. It would definitely benefit Lacey to be on SmackDown, Raw will definitely be more about Ronda for Lacey to ever get a fair shake. But with the Women’s Tag Titles and the SmackDown Fox Era on the horizon, rosters might come back together, so who goes where could be moot in a few months anyways.

The brawl of Styles and Bryan was good. I really want them to up the ante to a No Disqualification match, it’s what this feud deserves. Joe VS Ali not happening is actually great for story between them during and after the Royal Rumble. Almas VS Mysterio was incredible, and could’ve been a PPV match itself. I would love if this feud continued after the Rumble, too. The winner of that should go for the United States Championship, which Rusev will defend against Shinsuke Nakamura. I’d prefer if Rusev retains so that he and Almas can have a set of matches, too. And while the birthday party for Shane was fun, shoving in Miz VS Sheamus was odd. They did pretty well for less than 10 minutes, and hooray for cake smashing! I’m not sure which I’d prefer, but it’d be awesome if Shane and Miz won those tag titles.

My Score: 8.5/10

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Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (3/28/25)

SmackDown in the UK!

Published

on

London calling to the champion crowns!

SmackDown brings gold to London as LA Knight defends his WWE US Championship and The Street Profits defend their tag team titles! Will the landscape change this close to WrestleMania?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • WWE Tag Team Championships: The Street Profits VS Pretty Deadly; The Profits win and retain the titles.
  • Kayden Carter & Katana Chance VS The Secret Her-vice w/ Chelsea Green; The Secret Her-vice wins.
  • WWE United States Championship: LA Knight VS Braun Strowman; Braun wins, by disqualification, and Knight retains the title.
  • Charlotte Flair VS Mia Yim w/ B-Fab; Charlotte wins.
  • Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre; McIntyre wins.
  • Jimmy Uso VS The Miz; Jimmy wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Cody Rhodes is here!

We follow The American Nightmare as walks to gorilla, then through the curtain, and London sings along with the song, “WHOA~ OH~!” Cody gets his pyro, says hello to fans along the ramp, and then we get the second “WHOA~ OH~!” and pyro. Cody goes to the ring, grabs a mic, then kneels down to kiss the WWE logo on the mat. The fans continue to sing along all the way to the end, “I AM MY KINGDOM!” The fans then cheer, and Cody holds up the belt to fire them up even more! The fans now sing for “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” and he soaks it in. The fans cheer again as Cody smiles, and he finally says, “So, London~! Whaddya wanna talk about?”

The fans chant “Let’s Go, Cena!” “CENA SUCKS!” Cody hears that dueling, and he smiles again. The song of “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” returns, then they cheer. Cody says, “At WrestleMania 41, I will be facing John Cena…” The fans boo, but Cody says, “I will be facing John Cena as he goes to break the record and win 17. But that is WrestleMania 41. In just a few nights, I will be standing face to face with John Cena in this very same city, in this very same arena.” The fans cheer that, but then here comes Randy Orton! Now the fans sing along with Voices as The Viper heads to the ring. Orton also high-fives fans before he joins Cody.

Orton grabs a mic, paces while the fans keep singing on their own, and then the fans cheer. Orton says he’s not really the sentimental type, but for Cody and for London, screw it. The fans chant “R K O! R K O!” and Orton tells Cody, “Look at you. Look at who you are now, the man you are now. Look at where he came from.” The fans cheer and sing “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” and Orton says he remembers a Cody in his early 20s, just breaking into the business. Cody was busting his ass harder than anyone else. He wasn’t exactly happy, and in fact, he was frustrated. But Cody was man enough, smart enough, to know he needed to grow, and that he couldn’t grow in the WWE.

Cody wasn’t exactly treated fairly in the WWE, so Cody left the WWE! That took some big ass balls to do what he did! Cody changed the business singlehandedly, and everyone in the back knows it. And Orton appreciates Cody for it. But then Cody came back, as they all knew one day he would. And the industry has been changed forever since the day Cody came back to the WWE. Cody is a bit teary eyed as Orton says Cody’s still the same guy, he just did what he set out to do, and he grew. Orton teases he would sing along with the fans, but the fans might leave. The fans again sing “CODY! CODY RHODES~!”

Orton asks if they remember when Cody Rhodes faced Seth Rollins in Hell in a Cell. The fans cheer because they do. Orton says that was impressive, and even impossible, as he started with a partially torn pec and then ended with a fully torn pec! His body changed all kinds of shades of purple that Orton’s never seen on a human body. The pain he must have been in. Cody persevered not just for himself. Maybe not even at all for Cody. It was not even for his family legacy; it was for each and every single fan out there! Then Cody went on to WrestleMania, beat Roman Reigns and finished the story!

But there’s always another story, isn’t there? And Cody’s right in the middle of one. Cody is in charge of his legacy, and it is a privilege for Orton to watch Cody take control of it. Ticket sales have been up, there’s more intrigue around the world, and listen to the people! It is 99.9% all because of Cody! The fans cheer that, and of course they sing. Orton says what he’s trying to say is a long-winded version of he respects Cody, loves him, and is very, very proud of him. The fans cheer that! Orton then says, “But… But now it is time for WrestleMania.” They both look to the sign, and Orton says he can guarantee Cody that Orton will kick Kevin Owens so hard in the head…!

Orton can just feel it already! He forgets how many days are left, but he can’t wait to remove Kevin’s head from his shoulders. And Orton knows Cody will enter champion, exit champion, but not before he beats the holy hell outta Cena all up and down the Vegas strip! But after all the smoke clears and the dust settles, just like Orton wants Number 17, there will come a time when Orton will want Number 15. But Orton won’t kick Cody in the balls like a coward. Orton will look Cody in the eye because he respects Cody, is proud of Cody, and sees him as an equal. Orton will look Cody in the eye and tell him that he’s coming for the title.

The fans cheer but wait! Drew McIntyre is here! The fans cheer the Scottish Terminator as he steps out on stage, mic in hand, and has a wry smile on his face as he looks at the ring. Drew waves as the fans now sing, “OH~ Drew McIntyre~!” Drew says, “Isn’t this wonderful? A couple of nepo babies having a love fest in the middle of the ring> It makes me absolutely sick. What’d you just say, Randy? if Cody gets through Cena at WrestleMania, you’re coming for that title? What exactly have you done since that big comeback to justify that title match? Aside be Randy Orton. The only big moment I can remember is you being on the shelf for months and months and months.

“People like to make jokes about it, but more people talk about my five-minute-45-second title reign than your entire comeback so far! So get to the back of the line, sunshine! As for you, Cody, you should’ve listened to me. But you shunned me. You attacked me. Everybody should’ve listened to me about John Cena, but they didn’t. And the next night, he kicked you right in the twig ‘n’ berries, proving me right as usual. And the main event of WrestleMania should be Cody Rhodes VS The UK’s only ever world champion, Drew McIntyre!” Fans do like that idea. But sadly, it’s not, because of that guyliner wearing Temu Undertaker, Damian Priest!

Drew wants to talk about what is happening. And what’s gonna happen! Drew steps up to the ring while fans sing for him again. Drew says it will not be Randy that takes the title from Cody, should he get through Cena; it’ll be McIntyre. The fans cheer, but Orton says they were trying to have a moment. Can Drew just cut the crap already? Drew says okay, sure. He’ll tell the truth, because that’s all he ever does. The truth is, Kevin might have a point! If those Voices are talking to Orton again, then they know Drew very, very well. And he’s thinking, “My God, Randy looks great! Absolutely jacked! On the outside.

On the inside, that back is hanging by a thread. And if Orton provokes McIntyre, McIntyre will break him. And as for Cody- Cody kicks Drew and UPPERCUTS him! The fans fire up, and Orton R- NO, Drew gets away! The fans boo, but the battlelines are drawn! Even if Cody makes it out of the frying pan that is Las Vegas, it’ll be into the fire that is these contenders waiting in line! Will the American Nightmare be ready for whoever comes for the crown?

 

WWE Tag Team Championships: The Street Profits VS Pretty Deadly!

Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins are finally golden again, but it’s time to put the titles on the line already! And while they’re ready for the grind, they’re up against the hometown heroes! Will the Profits still be up in the O2? Or will Kit Wilson & Elton Prince say #YESBOY to a new reign of their own?

The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see who really wants the smoke!

The teams sort out and Kit starts with Dawkins. They tie up, Dawkins headlocks, but Kit powers up and out. Dawkins runs Kit over, the fans fire up, and Dawkins fires hands on Kit in the corner! The fans rally for Pretty Deadly, Dawkins whips Kit to a corner, but Elton takes that bump! Kit CLOBBERS Dawkins, then tags Elton! Atomic drop into DROPKICK! Ford runs up, but into a DOUBLE HIP TOSS! Dawkins whips, Elton reverses, and then Elton hurdles so Kit can DDT! The fans fire up with Pretty Deadly while the Profits bail out. Pretty Deadly has control while SmackDown goes picture in picture.

Elton is right on Dawkins as he gets in, and UPPERCUTS him to the corner. Elton clinches Dawkins for another UPPERCUT! Tag to Kit, and Elton RAMS into Dawkins so Kit can UPPERCUT! Dawkins flops over, Kit drags him up to wrench the arm. Kit whips, Dawkins reverses, but Kit grabs ropes. Kit ELBOWS Dawkins, DECKS Ford, but Dawkins CLOBBERS Kit! The ref reprimands but Dawkins RAMS Kit into the corner again and again! The ref counts, Dawkins fires fast hands, then he tags in Ford. Ford says, “SUCK IT!” then he KICKS Kit! Ford scuffs Kit, then drags him to a cover, TWO!

Ford keeps Kit down with a facelock, but Kit endures the grind. Kit fights up, fires body shots, but Ford whips him away. Kit sunset flips! Ford rolls through, and PENALTY KICKS! Ford mocks Elton with the Scott Hall fingers, and the ref has to keep Elton back. Ford drags Kit up, tags Dawkins, and the Profits mug Kit. Dawkins CLUBS Kit down, then stalks him. Dawkins stays between Kit and Elton, then whips Kit into the Profits’ corner. CYCLONE- NO, Kit dodges! Ford tags in, he keeps Kit from Elton now, but Kit slips out of the suplex! Kit fakes high to go low, hot tag to Elton! Elton rallies with LARIAT after LARIAT!

Elton kicks and whips Ford to a corner, then UPPERCUTS! Elton whips the other way, UPPERCUTS again, and then does it again! Elton adds to the hattrick with a lift, Ford says a quick prayer before the SUPLEX! Ford flounders, gets to his feet, but Elton dodges to springboard and FLYING UPPERCUT! Cover, TWO! Ford stays in this, but Elton stays on him. SmackDown returns to single picture and fans rally for Pretty Deadly as Elton gives Ford a back suplex. Ford lands out, waistlocks, but Elton switches and shoves Ford. Ford CLOBBERS Elton in return! Ford is also dazed but he covers, ONE!

Kit reaches out, Elton and Ford both crawl, hot tags to Kit and Dawkins! The fans fire up as Dawkins wrenches Kit, underhooks and SILENCER! Dawkins Electric Chair Lifts Kit, Ford climbs, but Kit slips free! Kit shoves Dawkins into Ford! Ford falls to the floor, but Dawkins ENZIGIRIS Kit! Elton tags in, and Kit LARIATS Dawkins! Pretty Deadly combine for DRY MARTI-KNEES! Cover, TWO!! Dawkins survives and the Profits are a bit unsure of what to do next. Dawkins crawls to a corner, Elton runs up, but Dawkins dodges! Elton hits buckles and Dawkins TOSSES Kit, then Dawkins hits a SKY HIGH on Elton!

Dawkins hurries to tag Ford and Ford climbs up! But Kit pushes Elton out of the way! Kit takes FROM THE HEAVESN, and Elton ghost pins Ford! TWO!! Ford escapes, and he ROCKS Elton! Elton UPPERCUTS Ford! Dawkins sneaks a tag, Ford SUPERKICKS! POUNCE SAIDO COMBO!! Cover, KIT BREAKS IT! The fans fire up while all four men are down! The teams go to opposite ends, then they all stand up in the corners. They all roar, all run in, and Kit SPEARS Ford while Elton FLYING UPPERCUTS Dawkins!! London is thunderous, and Kit hurries to tag in! Pretty Deadly gets Dawkins up, for SPILT MILK!! Cover, FORD BREAKS IT!

The fans are shocked, as is Elton, but Ford saves this for his team! “This is Awesome!” as Ford runs up and Elton TOSSES him out! Now DRY MARTI- NO! Dawkins doesn’t accept the second serving, and he DUMPS Kit out! Kit skins the cat while Dawkins DECKS Elton! Dawkins catches Kit to an Electric Chair! Ford rises, DOOMSDAY BLOCKBUSTER!! Cover, Profits win!

Winners: The Street Profits, by pinfall (still WWE Tag Team Champions)

Pretty Deadly put up a heroic fight, but the hometown heroes could not capture the gold. Dawkins & Ford hold onto the gold, will this be the strongest the Profits have ever been?

 

Kayden & Katana talk with Zelina Vega.

Carter & Chance know La Muneca got screwed over by The Green Administration. Chelsea thinks she’s untouchable, but someone’s gonna stop them eventually. Well, speaking of, Alba Fyre leads the way in as she & Piper Niven “scope the perimeter.” There’s one small threat. They frisk the “miniscule” threat, but nothing they haven’t dealt with before. Chelsea struts in and says, “The Eagle has landed~!” Zelina says she is so glad the “Bootleg Men in Black” have crashed the party. Now, yeah, they all know she’s small. But clearly this small “threat” is a big threat to Chelsea’s title reign. Otherwise, it wouldn’t have taken all three of them to beat her.

KC Squared agree with that. How about tonight, we see what happens when the odds are even? Chelsea says that’s fine, because Agents P & A are ready. The Secret Her-vice has been given their next mission, but will they be able to crash the party? Or will the party crash them?

Kayden Carter & Katana Chance VS The Secret Her-vice!

SmackDown returns and The Green Administration makes their entrance. The teams sort out, Alba starts against Katana, and the two tie up. Alba KNEES low, CLUBS Katana down, then fireman’s carries. Katana fights free, tags Kayden, and they KICK, double whip, and then trip Alba up for the basement DROPKICK! Katana adds a slingshot SENTON, Kayden covers, TWO! Kayden tags Katana, they double whip Alba to a corner, then Kayden runs in. Alba DUMPS Kayden out, ROCKS Katana, and she tags Piper! Katana arm-drags Alba out, then goes out to run up. Kayden gives her a boost, Katana CROSSBODIES Alba down!

The fans fire up, but Piper goes up and out?! CANNONBALL and down goes KC Squared! Piper salutes Chelsea and SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns, Kayden rallies on Alba while the fans rally up. Kayden fires up, runs in and whips, but Alba reverses. Kayden wheelbarrows, victory rolls, then SUPERKICKS! Kayden fires up again but the fans are torn. Kayden runs in at Alba to BOOT WASH her against the ropes! Chelsea protests, Kayden kicks at her, then Kayden springboards for a LEG DROP! Cover, TWO! Alba survives, Kayden whips, but Alba KICKS back! Tag to Piper, but Kayden jackknife bridges Alba! The ref explains bout the tag, Piper runs up, but Kayden moves! The SENTON hits Alba! Piper panics, Kayden tags Katana!

Katana goes up onto Kayden’s shoulders, VICTORY ROLL LAUNCHER, but Piper catches Katana! Katana fires hands, BOOTS, and then hurries to go up again. Kayden ROCKS Piper, and fireman’s carries?! SAMOAN DROP! Kayden then gives Katana the boost, for the KEG STAND SPLASH!! Cover, ALBA BREAKS IT! Kayden runs up on Alba to BOOT her out! Katana gives Kayden the boost now, SUPER CROSSBODY onto Alba! Kayden hurries to tag back in, and she brings Piper up. Piper swings, Kayden dodges and SUPERKICKS! Katana goes up, Piper staggers over that way, but Chelsea distracts the ref!

The fans are torn as Alba grabs Katana. Katana kicks Alba down, chases Chelsea off, but Piper sends Kayden into her! Piper scoops to PIPER DRIVER!! Cover, Secret Her-vice wins!

Winner: The Secret Her-vice, by pinfall

The Women’s US Champion helps her team, and now they all mug Kayden & Katana! But here comes Zelina! Vega runs down the ramp, CLOBBERS Alba, and then she gets in the ring! Zelina tilt-o-whirl DDTS Piper! And she KNEES Alba off the apron! But Chelsea CLOBBERS Zelina! Chelsea fires up, the UK is oddly with her, and she chicken wings Zeina. But Zelina fights free to fire forearms and body shots! And a BACK ELBOW! Zelina reels Chelsea in, CODE- SUPERKICK from Alba! SENTON from Piper! The Green Administration is just too much for Zelina to fight against alone! But can she, Kayden & Katana find a way to turn things around?

 

WWE United States Championship: LA Knight VS Braun Strowman!

Did the Mega Star just get this title back from Shinsuke Nakamura? YEAH! Did he help the Monster of All Monsters fight off Solo Sikoa’s rouge bloodline? YEAH! And now, does he have to defend this title against the monster he just helped? YEAH!! But will Knight still reign this close to WrestleMania? Or will Braun #GetTheseHands back on a championship?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and it’s time for Knight’s biggest challenge, YEAH!

The bell rings and the fans rally up as the two circle. The two tie up, and Braun SHOVES Knight away. Knight comes back, Braun SHOVES him down again! Knight gets up, gets around, and he headlocks. Braun powers up to back suplex, but Knight lands out! Knight tries but Braun’s too big to suplex! Braun ELBOWS Knight, storms up on him, but Knight fires haymakers! Knight whips, Braun reverses, but Knight KICKS back! Knight runs, but Braun HIP TOSSES! Cover, TWO! Knight stays in this, but Braun brings him up. Braun puts Knight in a corner, CHOPS, then runs, for a SPLASH! Knight sputters along ropes, Braun keeps moving, but Knight DUMPS him out!

The fans fire up as Knight then WRECKS Braun with a dropkick! Knight keeps moving, and he WRECKS Braun again! The fans fire up with Knight, but then Braun BOOTS Knight down! The fans are torn but Braun stands tall as SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and Braun puts Knight back in the ring. The fans cheer as Knight KICKS Braun! Knight tries again, but Braun’s still too big to back suplex! Braun CLUBS Knight, then runs in at the corner. Knight BOOTS Braun, goes up, and FLYING BULLDOGS! Both men are down and the fans fire up! Knight and Braun rise back up, and Knight dodges a shot to JAB! Then he dodges to JAB! JAB! JAB! “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” But Braun KNEES low! Braun scoops, Knight slips free, and Knight RAMS Braun into buckles! Then the BACK SUPLEX! The fans fire up and Knight rises again! Knight spells it out, “L! A! KNIGHT! YEAH!” ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO!

Braun has plenty left in the tank but the fans rally for Knight. Knight stands Braun up to kick low, but Braun THROWS Knight away! Knight rises, and Braun LARIATS Knight up and out! The fans fire up as Braun rips the shirt! Braun gets on the track, and he runs in, STROWMAN EXPRESS MEETS JACOB FATU!! The Samoan Werewolf strikes Braun down!

Winner: Braun Strowman, by disqualification; LA Knight retains the title

The fans boo as Jacob now goes after Knight! He just ruined what was becoming a great match, but Jacob fires HEADBUTT after HEADBUTT on Braun! SAMOAN DROP onto the desk!! The desk doesn’t budge, but Braun might’ve been broken in half! The UK fires up for Fatu as he puts Braun in the ring! Jacob fires more HEADBUTTS, then HEADBUTTS away on Braun in the corner! The fans sing “OLE~ OLE OLE OLE, FATU~, FATU~!” Jacob runs corner to corner, but Knight kicks him first! Knight fires haymakers, “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” Jacob denies the BFT to POP-UP SAMOAN DROP! And then HIP ATTACK for Braun anyway!

Jacob keeps going, HIP ATTACK for Braun again! Jacob throws off his jacket, glares at Braun, and he runs in for a third HIP ATTACK! Braun flounders into the drop zone, so Jacob goes up, up, BEST MOONSAULT EVER! Direct hit on Braun, but the fans want that “ONE MORE TIME!” Jacob obliges, BEST MOONSAULT EVER! The Samoan Werewolf just tore up #OneBigSOB and LA Knight, will there be no stopping him from taking the United States Championship?

 

Backstage interview with Jimmy Uso.

Jackie Redmond is with #BigJim, and she says that while she knew WWE was going global this month, she did not know they’d get the slap heard ’round the world! Jimmy says he’d do it again, and he’ll slap Gunther as many times as he needs! Jimmy knows Jey is up in his own head, doubt is creeping on him. But just because Jey’s 0-3 against Gunther doesn’t mean Gunther’s unbeatable! The Ring General CAN be got! Jimmy’s going to Raw this Monday, he will bust Gunther’s ass, Jey will go to Mania and bust Gunther’s ass to become the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. And then they leave Las Vegas just like this: YEET!

Jimmy heads out, but then The Miz & Carmelo Hayes walk by. Miz is mocking Jimmy’s words, and he asks excuse me. Miz says it’s just funny that suddenly, Jimmy is a tough guy, even though for most of his career, he’s been “The Other Uso.” Doesn’t Jimmy get it? Jimmy and Jey are career sidekicks while Gunther is a main character. Gunther is the lead, neither Jimmy nor Jey can beat him. And here’s another thing: The Usos are just blips on the trailer that was Roman Reigns’ Bloodline. Melo says Jimmy & Jey are stuck outside the club, they can’t even get in.

Miz says as a former WWE Champion, a former WrestleMania main eventer, Jimmy will never know what it is to carry this industry. And after this year’s WrestleMania, neither will Jey. Oh, and by the way, if Jimmy ever slapped Miz like that, Jimmy would still be on the ground. Jimmy feints the slap and Miz freaks out. Jimmy says it may be him and Gunther on Monday, but he’ll holler at Aldis real quick so it can be Jimmy VS Miz here tonight. Yeah, YEET! Jimmy heads out, Melo says he thought Miz was gonna do something about the slap. Will Miz have to do something about running his mouth before he gets his teeth kicked in?

 

Solo Sikoa & Tama Tonga find Jacob Fatu backstage.

Solo asks Jacob what the Hell he was doing out there. Jacob goes out there alone without saying a thing to them? Jacob says he ain’t gotta say nothing to nobody! Matter fact, didn’t Solo not tap in with him last week? Tama says, “But Jacob,” only for Jacob to say, “But nothing, Tama!” Solo wants Jacob to lower his tone, but Jacob says okay. Let him be very clear with them. When it comes to Braun Strowman, Jacob WILL be the last man standing. Y’all better get in where you fit in, cuz that US title? Oh, Jacob’s bringing it home to the family. And he will do it with them, or without them! Yadada mean? Fatu heads out, is the Samoan Werewolf no longer following Solo?

 

Naomi speaks.

“I mean… How did we even get here? I don’t know. One thing that I do know is that I’ve always been the woman to do the right thing. I’ve always been the woman to do the right thing. So Bianca, what makes you think that my attack on Jade was anything different from me doing the right thing? When I sit here and I think about all that I’ve sacrificed, all that I’ve given, and that’s what really breaks my heart. Because through all of that, I’m made to be the bad one in this situation. I just don’t understand, how does Jade come in outta nowhere and take my place with you? I want you to ask yourself this, Bianca. Who inspired you? Hmm?

“Who’s inspired women over the last decade? Who’s always had your back from day one of you being here? Me. Not Jade. Hmm. But you know what? What I’ve learned through all of this: You teach people how to treat you. And I’m done with being treated as a third wheel. I’m done being pushed to the side, I’m done with being too nice, I’m done with being undervalued, underutilized, underappreciated! So moving forward, hmm… Moving forward, here’s my message to you, Jade. If you continue to be in my way, I strongly advise you to proceed with caution.” The Glow shows her dark side, but will the storm be moved?

 

Nick Aldis meets with Jade Cargill.

Speaking of, the SmackDown General Manager understands things have been rather difficult for her as of late. Jade says she’s been trying to get her hands on Naomi for the past few weeks, now where is she? No one has seen her all day, so as far as anyone knows, Naomi’s not here. Well, when Jade catches Naomi, it’s on sight. Jade leaves, B-Fab & Michin are there. They let her know that what Naomi did to her was straight trash, totally uncalled for behavior. And after Jade gets her hands on Naomi, she’ll handle that business. Jade agrees. Mia says they’ve all got business to handle. Jade’s got Naomi, and Mia’s gonna get Charlotte for messing with her girl, B.

B-Fab says Naomi’s got what’s coming to her: no sympathy, no regrets. Jade, just do what you gotta do. Oh, she will. Jade also wishes Mia luck tonight. Mia & B-Fab head out, will the Head Baddie in Charge make the Queen bow down in London?

 

The darkness approaches.

“You are as I was. As I am, you will be.” The shadows are starting to take shape, but is SmackDown about to fade to black?

 

Charlotte Flair VS Mia Yim w/ B-Fab!

The Queen looks down on everyone, so it’s no surprise that everyone else wants to take her down. Charlotte may have checked off B-Fab, but will the HBIC be a much different story? Or will Charlotte only sharpen her edge before facing Tiffany Stratton at WrestleMania?

WAIT! NAOMI ATTACKS B-FAB & MICHIN! Naomi drags Mia up for a FACEBUSTER! Naomi rains down fists, the ref reprimands and the fans boo, but Naomi tells the ref to back off. Naomi then BOOTS B-Fab off the apron! Naomi goes out after B-Fab to THRWO her into barriers! Naomi SLAPS B-Fab, tells her to stay down, but B-Fab gets up. Naomi fires hands, then she SMACKS B-Fab off the desk! Naomi rains down fists, but here comes Jade! Jade hurries down the ramp, she runs around the way, but Naomi runs away! Jade makes sure B-Fab is okay, but refs have to help her to the back. And what of Mia? Will she even be able to compete?

Charlotte makes her entrance, not really caring about what Naomi just did to Mia. But that means she also crosses paths with Jade. The fans like the look of this stare down, but Jade and Charlotte both let the other slide. Charlotte gets her pyro, and it seems she’ll still get her match. Will Mia be little more than an appetizer now?

The bell rings, and Charlotte BOOTS Mia down! Cover, TWO! Mia stays in this and the fans rally up. Charlotte just struts around while SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns, Charlotte has Mia down with a chinlock, but the fans rally up. Mia fights up, fires body shots, and she then blocks a shot to ROCK Charlotte! Mia ROCKS Charlotte again and again, then reels her in for a TORNADO DDT! The fans fire up as Mia hurries to cover, TWO! Mia drags Charlotte up, wrenches, but Charlotte says no to Da Feet! BIG back suplex! Mia stagger sup, Charlotte whips her, but Mia reverses! Charlotte goes up and out, BOOTS her away, then slingshots in and rolls Mia! Mia rolls through and BUZZSAWS! Mia runs corner to corner, but Charlotte avoids the cannonball!

Charlotte YAKUZA KICKS Mia down, then fires herself up! The fans “WOO~!” as Charlotte has Mia in the drop zone,. Charlotte steps on her, goes up the corner, but Mia gets underneath her! SIT-OUT POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! Charlotte survives and Mia is shocked! Mia nods as the fans rally back up, and she brings Charlotte up. But Charlotte ROCKS Mia! Mia SOBATS, PELES, and then runs to PENALTY KICK! Cover, TWO! Charlotte stays in this, Mia grows frustrated, but the fans continue to rally. Mia uses that energy to stay focused, and she stalks Charlotte to waistlock. But Charlotte ELBOWS her away!

Charlotte CHOPS, and CHOPS, and CHOSP! Charlotte winds up, and she CHOPS again! Mia sputters, but then she dodges the boot! Charlotte is caught, and Mia hits a SAIDO! Charlotte flounders to a corner, the fans rally behind Mia, and Mia runs up, CANNONBALL! Mia hurries to wrench and EAT- NO, Charlotte shoves Mia away! Charlotte gets under, back suplexes, but Mia lands out! EAT DA FEET!! Cover, ROPEBREAK!! Charlotte’s long legs help her survive by a literal foot! Mia is beside herself while Charlotte bails out. Mia storms after Charlotte, runs up, but Charlotte dodges! Mia’s kick hits steel steps!

Mia hobbles away, goes to the apron, but Charlotte CHOP BLOCKS the bad leg out! Charlotte grabs Mia’s leg, drops a KNEE on the knee, but fans chant, “We Want Tiffy!” Charlotte just steps through, FIGURE FOUR, into FIGURE EIGHT!! Mia taps, Charlotte wins!

Winner: Charlotte Flair, by submission

Charlotte got more of a fight out of Mia than expected, but she still won. Will The Queen be more than ready to reign again after WrestleMania?

 

Backstage interview with Tiffany Stratton.

Jackie Redmond is with the WWE Women’s Champion and says Charlotte certainly looks confident. Let’s be real, Charlotte came at Tiff pretty hard. It got a lot of people talking. Tiff says yes, people talk. And Charlotte sure loves to hear herself talk. Ten years into the business and Charlotte is still so insecure that she can’t let a “rookie” get a word out. But last week, Tiff did learn something: She learned that walking into WrestleMania, she isn’t the one with something to lose. Truth is, if Tiff loses, then she lost to the great Charlotte Flair, as just a 25-year-old rookie with one year into SmackDown.

But if Charlotte loses… Well, then she lost to an “undeserving, delusional, unoriginal, backflip doing, blonde-hair-having, little girl.” Did she get it all? And Tiff can’t wait to hear the look on Charlotte’s face when they hear the words, “And STILL!” Then maybe Charlotte will finally shut up for the sake of literally everyone! They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, and Tiff will make damn sure what stays is Charlotte’s massive ego. Tiff is walking into and out of Mania as the WWE Women’s Champion. Tootles! Tiff heads out, will it still be #TiffyTime after WrestleMania?

 

Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre!

The Viper told Cody how proud he was, but also how he wants the next shot after John Cena. The Scottish Terminator took offense to that, and basically said he is taking that shot instead. Will this match be an unofficial #1 contender’s match between these two former world champions?

SmackDown returns and McIntyre makes his entrance. The bell rings and the fans sing, “OH~, Drew McIntyre~!” and chant “R K O! R K O!” Drew and Orton circle, tie up, and they go around in a deadlock. Drew powers Orton to a corner, but Orton headlocks back. Drew powers up and out, then he runs Orton over! Orton hurries to ropes and Drew mockingly asks, “How’s the back feel, Randy?” Orton stands, he and Drew reset, and the fans duel some more. Drew calls for a knuckle lock, Orton accepts, but then Drew kicks low! Drew bumps Orton off buckles, then climbs up, but he panders for too long and Orton YANKS him down!

The fans fire up as Orton climbs now! Orton rains down fists, and the fans count to nine. Orton hops down, brings Drew around, and POSTS him for ten! Drew tumbles out of the ring, Orton goes out after him, and they’re by the desk! But Drew kicks Orton first and SMACKS him off the desk! Drew clears the desk, and he brings Orton up for the DESK- NO, Orton fights free! Orton turns things around, DESK BACK SUPLEX for Drew! The fans fire up while Orton leaves Drew behind, and SmackDown goes picture in picture.

Drew writhes on the floor, but Orton goes out to fetch him! Orton brings Drew around, UPPERCUTS him, then says one more time! DESK BACK SUPLEX! Drew writhes as that desk stays standing! Orton grins, refreshes the ring count, and then he storms up on Drew. Drew pokes Orton in the eye! Drew POSTS Orton now, then brings him around to RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP into barriers! Orton slumps down, and Drew also grits his teeth from that double-edged attack, but Drew fires up as he stands tall. Drew drags Orton up, puts him in the ring, then stalks Orton. Drew looms over Orton, and HIP DROPS him!

Orton sputters, Drew says one more time, and he winds up for the HIP DROP! Drew paces around Orton, says maybe one more time, and he pretends he can’t hear the fans. Drew winds up again, but Orton flips over! Hip drop meets kneecaps! And then Orton pokes Drew in the eyes! The ref reprimands but Orton rises up. Drew sputters and flounders, Orton ROCKS him with a right! Drew ROCKS Orton back! Drew storms up, Orton kicks low, but Drew fires another haymaker! The haymakers go back and forth, Orton gets the edge, but Drew GLASGOW KISS HEADBUTTS! Cover, TWO! Drew clamps onto Orton with an armlock!

SmackDown returns to single picture and the fans rally up. Orton fights up, pries at the chinbar, and then throws right hands! Drew CHOPS Orton in return! The fans “WOO~” and Drew winds up. Drew ROCKS Orton again, eggs him on, then CHOPS again! Drew shoves Orton to a corner, CHOPS again, then dares Orton to fight! Drew whips corner to corner, but Orton comes back to LARIAT! And LARIAT! Drew swings, Orton dodges, SNAP POWERSLAM! The fans fire up as Orton stalks Drew to the apron. Drew HOTSHOTS Orton first! Drew then runs in, but Orton puts him through the ropes!

The fans fire up as Orton has Drew for the DRAPING DDT! The fans fire up for Orton, and Orton hears those voices! Drew rises, but then Orton spots KEVIN OWENS! The Prizefighter is on the ramp, Orton glares at him, but then he turns around into a CLAYMORE!! Cover, DREW WINS!

Winner: Drew McIntyre, by pinfall

Kevin’s mere presence costs Orton, and now Drew has a huge win propelling him down the Road to WrestleMania! As for Orton, Kevin drags him out of the ring, SMACKS him off the desk, and then climbs up to join him! The fans boo but Kevin and his hot pink sneakers have Orton in position, but Orton slips free and TRIPS Kevin up! Kevin hits the desk then the floor! Orton staggers around, the fans rally behind him, and Orton stalks Kevin to the corner of the barriers. Orton lines up the shot! Orton runs in, but Kevin jumps over barriers! Security is there to stop Orton from pursuing, so Kevin runs away into the night!

The fans boo, but The Viper was that close! Will Orton be able to strike Kevin down and completely take him out?

 

Fire, thunder, smoke…

The force of nature is drawing ever closer. And he’s ready to fly! REY FENIX arrives next Friday Night SmackDown!

 

Jimmy Uso VS The Miz!

#BigJim gave Gunther a piece of his mind and a mark on his cheek, but it seems not everyone got the message. Will the Hollywood A-lister soon star in the Uso Penitentiary? Or will he prove Jimmy is NOT ready for a world champion level opponent?

The bell rings and the two tie up. Jimmy powers Miz to a corner, Miz turns things around, and the ref counts. Miz takes a swing, Jimmy ducks it to CHOP! And CHOP! Miz shoves Jimmy back, then runs up, but Jimmy TACKLES Miz! Jimmy rains down fists, Miz shoves him away to go to ropes, but Jimmy storms back up. Miz ELBOWS Jimmy away, then runs back up, only for Jimmy to LARIAT him down! The fans fire up while Jimmy storms up on Miz. Jimmy CHOPS Miz, has him in a corner, then whips corner to corner. Miz reverses, Jimmy goes up and over, then UPPERCUTS! Miz staggers back to ropes, but Jimmy is right on him.

Jimmy whips, Miz reverses and kitchen sink knees! Then basement BOOTS! The fans fire up, Miz scowls, and Miz KNEES Jimmy in the back again and again. Miz stalks Jimmy to the ropes now, and he CHOKES Jimmy! The ref counts, Miz runs, and Miz STRADDLE ATTACKS! The fans boo, but Miz runs again. Jimmy ducks the boot, then dodges a lariat! Jimmy runs up to LARIAT Miz up and out! The fans fire up and Jimmy builds speed, but Miz runs away! Jimmy smirks as he goes out the side, and UPPERCUTS Miz over the barriers! Jimmy makes sure Gunther knows he’s coming to get him, but SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and both men are down. Miz and Jimmy crawl, and Jimmy pounds the mat. The fans rally, Jimmy rises and runs up to LARIAT! And LARIAT! And mule kick! Jimmy then UPPERCUTS Miz, dodges a lariat, then SAMOAN DROPS! The fans fire up, Jimmy goes to the corner, “UCE! OH!” Jimmy runs in, but Miz puts him on the apron! Jimmy UPPERCUTS again! Jimmy climbs, leaps, but Miz gets under! Miz then waistlocks, ripcords, and MOVIE MAKER! Fans boo that blatant parody, but Miz full nelsons! Jimmy drops, victory rolls, TWO! Miz has the cover, TWO! Miz hurries to BASEMENT DDT! Cover, TWO!

The fans rally up as Jimmy survives! Miz stalks Jimmy, the fans rally up more, and Miz fires a KICK! And then another KICK! The fans say “YES! YES! YES!” to the It Kicks, but then Miz winds up. Jimmy ducks the buzzsaw, Miz blocks the superkick, but the DRAGON WHIP connects! Miz rebounds to B-MOVIE KNEE!! Cover, TWO!! The parodies don’t get it done, but Miz still has his original work to fall back on. The fans rally for “UCE! OH! UCE! OH!” Miz runs in, A-LIST LARIAT! Miz shoves Jimmy down, then springboards, but into a SUPERKICK! Jimmy hurries up top, for the USO SPLASH!! Cover, Jimmy wins!

Winner: Jimmy Uso, by pinfall

Miz may be a movie star, but Big Jim’s the one winning this main event! Jimmy then borrows Joe Tessitore’s headset to call out Gunther! He’s coming after dat ass on Monday! Gunther won’t be the ring general, he will be “Private Gunther,” and he will salute Big Jim! Uh, uh, YEET! Will Jimmy be the one making examples out of the World Heavyweight Champion? Or will everything come crashing down when Gunther gets his turn?

 

Drew McIntyre returns backstage.

And he says hey to Lewis Capaldi, the Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter, and also a big fan of Drew’s. They’re ready to have a good night in the pub, but Jackie Redmond walks over to congratulate him on the win tonight. She was hoping to get some thoughts on that victory and what happened with Orton and Kevin. Drew says it’s alright, this is what happens. He doesn’t care about anybody else’s business, but no one gets away with screwing him over. And when no one meddles in his business, he wins! Drew called out Priest, where is he? Priest doesn’t have the balls! So time to get mad in the pubs, everyone’s invited!

Drew turns the corner, but PRIEST IS THERE! Priest ROCKS Drew, SMACKS him off the door, then throws him into road cases! Priest ROCKS Drew, SMACKS him off the trunk of a car, and then again! Or since it’s London, “the boot.” The driver complains, but Priest BODY SLAMS that guy through a table! Drew comes back to KNEE Priest low, SMACK him off the trunk, and then off the side! They go to the hood, or bonnet for UK. Drew drags Priest up, but Priest CLAWS Drew’s eyes! Priest then sends Drew SOUTH OF HEAVEN through the windshield! Priest tells security that he’s done for now. Any more jokes, Drew? Didn’t think so! RIP, jackass!

Priest leaves, the producers hurry to help Drew, and Drew’s got glass in his eye! Will that glass help Drew see why he shouldn’t piss off the Punisher?

 

CM Punk heads to gorilla.

He has a security detail with him, and he passes by Drew writhing in pain. Punk chuckles, then continues on. Will his contract signing with Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins be just as brutal? We find out, after the break.

 

Nick Aldis is in the ring.

The SmackDown General Manager welcomes us back, and says it is his honor and privilege to be here in the O2 in London. Now, we all know why he and this table is here, and why additional security is here tonight. Tonight, we are here to sign a contract for a Triple Threat. Perhaps the biggest Triple Threat in the history of WrestleMania: Seth Rollins VS CM Punk VS Roman Reigns! The fans cheer all those names, and here comes the OTC! London puts the ones up, and Paul Heyman accompanies THE Tribal Chief out on stage. Roman raises his finger to the sky for the pyro, then security follows him to the ring.

SmackDown goes picture in picture as Roman’s entrance continues, and he raises his finger to the sky for the second round of pyro. Roman steps into the ring, SmackDown returns to single picture, and Heyman hands him a mic. The fans sing, “ROMAN! ROMAN REIGNS~!” Roman nods, the fans cheer, and now they chant, “O T C! O T C!” Roman tells London, “ACKNOWLEDGE ME!” The fans cheer again, and again chant, “O T C! O T C!” Roman smiles, but he sees the chairs are not to his liking. Heyman makes sure to put one at the head of the table. Heyman also dusts the chair off while Roman enjoys the singing of, “ROMAN! ROMAN REIGNS~!”

Roman takes a seat and says that was beautiful. The way they sing to their Tribal Chief, it’s just beautiful. The singing continues, and Heyman even joins in! Roman smiles, and he says that is what he’s talking about. That’s the OTC for you, baby! The biggest star on the planet! The OTC came here for two reasons. One: to be acknowledged; check! And two: to sign this contract. Roman does just that, and he says he’s checked both boxes. That means- “BURN IT DOWN!” Seth Rollins interrupts! The fans now sing, “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~!” Rollins struts out in his red wine paisley suit and conducts the O2 Choir all the way into the ring.

The fans cheer while Roman frowns, but Rollins takes the seat to Roman’s left. Rollins offers Heyman a chance to sing to this song, but Heyman frowns. Rollins chuckles, and he says the fans do have beautiful singing voices. He doesn’t know why Roman is in such a hurry to leave, though! This is their building! There’s a lot of history here! 12 years ago, they landed on the roof of this place in a helicopter! They came down those stairs over there, “ready to burn down the old guard!” They put the Undertaker down through the desk, and they were going to remake this company in their image!

Now don’t get him wrong, Rollins knows a lot has happened since then. They fought against each other, with each other, a little bit of love and a whole lot of hate. But Rollins dare says, as the fans continue to sing “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~,” that Rollins and Roman accomplished their mission. The fans start to chant for CM Punk, but Rollins tunes them out. Roman says, “We? We? You keep saying we. Our mission? We died a long time ago. It’s only been ME. You been here, but I done all the work! I’ve made this place what it is today! I took us to the level that we are here today! I made this place better than we found it!

“I’m the one that made us desirable to Netflix! I’m the one that took us into billion-dollar deals! Tell me, what have you done?” Rollins shouts, “I’ll tell you what I’ve done! YOU, YOU, YOU, it’s that mindset that keeps me having to screw you! You understand that? And your biggest mistake is not understanding the danger that’s right in front of us! The danger that’s right in front of you! You let the biggest snake in the world, CM Punk, into the garden! And you could’ve cut his head off at WarGames! But instead, you shook his hand. You could’ve let me finish him inside the cage at The Garden, but you didn’t. And now, I am left to do what I always do: Clean up your mess, again.”

Rollins drops his mic, picks up the pen, and signs his part. And now, here comes CM PUNK! The fans fire up and sing along with Cult of Personality, then join in on saying, “IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME~!” Punk goes to the ring, but as he grabs a mic, he goes up a corner, just like he did last Friday. “I have come here to chew bubblegum and sign a contract. And I’m all outta bubblegum.” The fans cheer the Rowdy Roddy Piper reference, and Punk hops down to take his seat on Roman’s right. Punk looks over said contract, but Roman asks if Punk needs a highlighter or something. What’s he doing? Just go to page four, clause five.

Punk does as Roman says, but Roman says Punk needs to hurry, this is precious TV time. Punk reads the segment, Roman tells Heyman to just smarten Punk up. Heyman tells Punk he knows what Punk is looking for. It is in there. They’re closing the show at WrestleMania. The fans go wild hearing that! Heyman tells Punk that he gets to live his dream of dreams. CM Punk will be a WrestleMania main eventer! The fans cheer and while Roman smiles, Rollins is furious. Roman says, “One man’s dream is another man’s favor! CHECK!” Wait, this was the favor? Rollins says no! This is not something to laugh at, and Punk does not get to tear up!

Punk is NOT deserving! He does NOT deserve this! The fans boo but Rollins continues to throw a fit! Main eventing WrestleMania is SACRED, the most important thing in the world to Rollins! More than anything! Except the fact that Punk NEVER gets to main event! This is all Roman’s fault! This is all Heyman’s fault! Rollins THROWS his mic down, paces angrily, but Punk picks up the mic. The fans cheer Punk on again, and Punk stands to thank London, to thank Chicago, to thank Louisville, Kentucky, and to thank ALL the fans. As corny as it sounds, he thanks the WWE Universe who stood by him and chanted his name for TEN LONG YEARS!

Roman says hold on, hold on. Punk shouldn’t be thanking the fans! He should be thanking the Tribal Chief! It is because of Roman that Punk gets this honor! So please, take this moment, close the show with that acknowledgement! Do this the right way. The credits are already rolling as Punk kneels before Roman!? Punk smiles, and he thanks “My Tribal Chief, the holder of the ula fala, the Head of the Table, the… Big Dog? Thank you for allowing a kid from Chicago to be graced by your presence. Thank you, My Tribal Chief, for allowing me to stand in your ring. And thank you so much. Thank you, Roman Reigns, so very much.

“But because of you, I will see you in the main event of WrestleMania.” And again, Rollins is agonizing over this. Punk finishes putting his signature on the contract, and London tells him, “You Deserve It!” Punk thanks Roman again, and then says, “But that’s not the favor that I’m owed.” WHAT?! Roman looks at Heyman and Heyman can’t look him in the eye! If getting this Triple Threat made into the main event isn’t the gift of the Wise Man, then what is?!


My Thoughts:

A good SmackDown, but they pulled off quite the paradox. They made it feel like they were struggling to fill three hours, yet they also filled the show to the point where that contract signing segment was almost bleeding over the three hour mark. Ironically, part of the problem was just how excited the London crowd was for this. The superstars still wanted to enjoy the chants and songs, but that’s time SmackDown doesn’t have to spare. It made the opening promo from Cody, Orton and Drew take longer, and it kinda did the same to the contract signing at the end. Even so, we still got a very good promo, and good stuff to set up Orton VS McIntyre.

Orton VS McIntyre was a great match, but of course Kevin costs Orton. McIntyre gets his win, Kevin and Orton have a bit of a brawl, but of course Kevin ends up on the losing end and runs off. McIntyre’s trash talk also comes back to bite him as Priest gets the better of him in their brawl. Here’s hoping Drew didn’t actually get glass in his eye, but that being the thing in kayfabe can be some good stuff. I can imagine McIntyre with an eyepatch, and he takes it off at the opportune time to get the better of Priest in their match. Also what a fitting choice for Punk to be passing by Drew suffering because of real glass.

Very good title matches tonight, but of course the status quo was kept. Pretty Deadly gets to look great here in London, but the Profits only just got the belts, they’re not going to be transitional champions like that. And Knight VS Braun was really good stuff, but honestly, Jacob Fatu going after them both should’ve been a given. Jacob also had a great promo with Solo & Tama to start adding to that divide between Jacob and Solo. I would hope Solo doesn’t screw Jacob out of the US Championship, but it feels like he will as Solo won’t stand for Jacob defying his authority, even though Solo’s been trying to make Jacob the champion all along.

Very good stuff from Jimmy Uso tonight, from his promo with #MeloDon’tMiz and then a great match with Miz. Their match ended up the de facto main event match, so that’s also great for both guys. Great win for Jimmy, but that’s likely because Jimmy is losing big time to Gunther on Monday. And it might just be me, but it feels like only now is the Jey VS Gunther build really moving, largely in part because Jimmy got involved. Jimmy’s promo after his match is something along the lines of what Jey should be saying. But I suppose as brothers, Jimmy is the one who knows Jey best and knows what Jey needs to be motivated again. And seeing Jimmy get beat up by Gunther will definitely motivate Jey…

Good final vignettes for Rey Fenix and Aleister Black. I’m a little surprised they confirmed Rey Fenix is showing up next week, and that they confirmed who Rey Fenix even is. I believe commentary confirmed Rey Fenix is Penta’s real brother, even namedropped “Lucha Brothers,” but all that is still surprising considering Fenix is going to start on SmackDown. Aleister’s vignette (at least I am fairly confident it’s his) was giving us glimpses of his silhouette, but I think there was usage of AI in the snake imagery. It was fine they did it for El Grande Americano because that is all trolling, but they really should try and do things the old fashioned way of photoshop and stock imagery.

Very good stuff in the Women’s Division tonight, though the WWE Women’s Championship portion was the weaker. Naomi’s got a great Heel persona going, her promo was great, and her going after B-Fab & Michin over them supporting Jade was a great detail. Jade runs Naomi off, helps B-Fab, but there was no helping Michin in being fed to Charlotte. Tiffany had a decent promo, and it does fit how Charlotte kept her from speaking so she finally gets things out here. It didn’t really add that much, though, but they already gave us a great brawl so not sure what more they can give.

KC Squared VS The Secret Her-vice was a very good match, but of course Chelsea made sure her team won. A Six Woman Tag of Zelina & KC Squared VS The Green Administration is certainly coming, to help give us Zelina VS Chelsea for the Women’s US Championship.

My Score: 8.7/10

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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 3.27.2025

Bad news out of the TNA management side, but this is a taped episode from El Paso! So we won’t see any of the fallout just yet!

Published

on

Now we all heard the news about the TNA change in hierarchy, and I…have no positive outlook on that. Delirious sucked at booking and creative in the dying days of ROH before it got bought as a B show. Dreamer having even more control is concerning because his ideas the last two years haven’t been much better.

Gail leaving makes more sense to me. Be it firing or a “you can’t quit, you’re fired” kind of situation, the Knockouts division is the worst it’s been in a long time and Gail was close with Scott D’Amore. So I don’t think Gail parting ways is as big of a problem since TNA has slowly been bleeding out with the Scott faithful.

Granted, I think the next few shows were already taped before the firing so things shouldn’t be completely unwatchable for at least a week or two. So let’s see where we’re going.

Ratings:

  • Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley vs Elegance Clique w/Personal Concierge: Ash wins via Rarefied Air – ** 1/4
  • Fir$t Cla$$ & Frankie Kazarian vs Laredo Kid, Octagon Jr & Chavo Guerrero Jr: Chavo wins via Gory Bomb into Frog Splash – *** 1/4
  • Jacy Jayne vs Masha Slamovich: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – ***
  • Eric Young w/two losers vs Ace Austin: Eric wins via Piledriver – ** 1/2
  • Seto & Mokuba – I mean – Nic Nemeth w/Ryan Nemeth vs Leon Slater: Nic wins via Danger Zone – *** 1/4

 

Results:

Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley vs Elegance Clique w/Personal Concierge

Ash and Gigi start off, Gigi with a little Rascalz after her first takedown. So both her and Wentz are making it obvious something’s going on between them, and I’m not mad at it. Good for my man Wentz.

Tatum and Gigi get some quick tandem offense in, Ash does manage to scurry off to a tag and Heather gets bent into a Pretzel. Some kind of Inverted Tarantula from Tatum, Gigi tags in, Bronco Buster on Heather followed by Kawada Kicks. Heather sells against the ropes, Gigi goes for a Hesitation Dropkick, but Concierge pulls her away so Gigi crashes and burns. Ref is distracted, Ash gets in some cheap shots and then the Elegant duo starts working over Gigi. A few quick tags, but once Heather comes in, Gigi fights out of the corner, gets the hot tag to Tatum. Tatum stacks up both Elegance members, Corner Stacked Crossbody, Butterfly Suplex and an Elbow Drop with some some flare. Tatum goes to the top rope, Heather pulls Gigi off the apron, Concierge shoves Tatum off the turnbuckle and Ash hits Rarefied Air for the win.

Post match the Elegance Clique wants to make their wish with the cake, they light the candles and Tatum and Gigi recover enough to do what we all expected last week, the cake in the face spot. Some…suggestive licking from both of our Hot Topic Hotties, so…no complaints here. 

Fir$t Cla$$ & Frankie Kazarian vs Laredo Kid, Octagon Jr & Chavo Guerrero Jr

Chavo and Kaz start since he’s King Petty, a quick rope run turns into a Headscissor from Chavo. Kaz recovers, they lock up, Kaz hits the Knee Lift during the lock up to tag out to KC. KC pulls off some athletic dodges, gloats a bit so Chavo waits, measures and nails a gorgeous Dropkick. Laredo comes in on fire, quick high spots that send KC bouncing around like HBK against Hulk. KC powders after sells the Satellite Takedown, AJ checks on him and we go to commercial.

Back from commercial, Octagon is lighting up KC’s chest with overhand chops, he perches, Sunset Headscissor Flip from corner to corner, KC tries to Back Drop him but Octagon does a headstand, kicks KC away and lays him out with a high spot. AJ gets on the apron to stop Octagon from running the ropes, the referee has a stroke or something because he stops paying attention and AJ pulls Octagon out of the ring and chucks him. KC with the Tope con Hilo and tag (tag ropes haven’t mattered since the 80s we all know this). So AJ is getting taunted by the crowd in Spanish, but he’s manhandling Octagon since it looks like a Child fighting their parent. AJ knocks off Chavo and Laredo, Laredo pops up and tries to get involved but he’s caught on the shoulders, Octagon goes for the Crossbody but gets caught and AJ pulls off “World’s Strongest Wasteland” but Chavo breaks up the pinfall. AJ throws Octagon into the corner, Tennessee Whiskey, and tag out to KC. KC hits a few moves, but starts to lose the momentum until he connects with a Super Kick. Simultaneous rope run into the Dueling Crossbodies, so we get the timely tag outs from both sides. Kaz and Laredo come in, Laredo lands like two moves before Kaz hits a Sole Butt, Lariat and eats his lunch. KC and Kaz try to double team Laredo but he fights out and the crowd is chanting for Chavo.

Chavo tags in, and he’s rocking KC, Saito Suplex, Low Bridge to AJ, Reverse the Whip so Chavo goes to the corner and perches, KC feeds, Chavo Backflips to safety, rolls through and lays out KC. Chavo is feeling himself, 3 Amigos start on KC but only 2, Kaz comes in and Chavo switches to Kaz for the Amigos, only 2 again before AJ breaks it up. AJ goes for the disrespect, but Chavo counters and hits the 3 Amigos on the biggest Culero. Aztec Warriors dive to stop AJ and Kaz, KC tries a Dirty Victory Roll but Chavo kicks out. GORY BOMB into FROG SPLASH!

Chavo looked fantastic and he’s the one in the best shape in the ring. I wouldn’t be mad at more Chavito. 

Jacy Jayne vs Masha Slamovich

I expect very little from this match.

Collar and Elbow, gator rolling for the first 30 seconds or so, then Jacy goes to some Hair Pull takedowns and does a little taunt before Masha pops back up and hits a Lariat into a Dive. Jacy sells it like she’s really hurt, even the ref tries to hold Masha back a little before Masha gets annoyed and just grabs her, Masha throws her in, looks for a Dive and Jacy sees it and powders. Masha tries to go back to the well for the Dive again but Jacy hits the Uppercut and then an Apron Run PK to drop Masha. Forearms rain down into a Foot Choke as Jacy continues to arrogantly play to the crowd. Another Foot Choke into a Cannonball, and near fall.

Masha gets space with a Sole Butt, tries to snap off Requiem but Jacy fights off, fights through a Sunset Flip another effective PK keeps Masha on her ass. Jacy looks for a kinda half-assed Camel Clutch as Masha is fighting up, but Jacy runs her into the corner, gets distracted mouthing off to the crowd, so Masha recovers, 5 Hole Up Kick sends Jacy into the corner, Yakuza Kick into Capo Kick for two. Requiem attempt again, but Jacy pushes off, a little back and forth, Masha tries a Backslide but Jacy gets away and hits a V-Trigger but only a 2 count. Jacy looks for the Discus Punch but Masha ducks it, they strike back and forth, but some dodges from both leave the exchange more even. Jacy with the Front Kick to the face sends Masha to the outside. Jacy wants another PK, but Masha blocks, Electric Chair Apron Snake Eyes. Masha throws her in, a PK into a near all. Requiem attempt 3, and thwarted from Jacy with a Superkick into a Neckbreaker. Senton misses from Jacy, Buzzsaw Kick, into Spinning Back Kick and Russian Death Device for the win.

Better than I expected, and Tessa attacks as soon as the bell rings. Xia Brookside and Lei Ying Li make the save after Tessa grabs the belt. 

Eric Young w/two losers vs Ace Austin

Ace and Eric tie up, World of Sport start but as soon as Ace starts to get away EY punches him in the face. Eric looks at the camera and says “This is what trust looks like”, turns his back on Ace, when Ace looks to attack, the loser duo cut him off. EY takes advantage of the weird situation, but Ace with some Up and Over quick spots, into an Inside Cradle and La Magistral. EY kicks out of the quick flash attempts, but eats a Dropkick, and Ace goes all Speed Kils on him with fast strikes and then a face buster for another near fall. Strike spot very early in the match, Ace gets the best of it, goes for a Tear Drop Suplex but EY sits on it to block, Headlocks to keep him close and then a snap Lariat into beatdown bully tactics. EY takes the referee’s attention and one of the nerds punch Ace in the face.

Eric tries to lean on Ace, but Ace fires, a few strikes, Click Click Boom, the Miz Seated Lariats in the corner, Mochizuki Triangle Kick connects! Only a 2 count, but Ace seems to be in control. Ace puts EY on the ropes, a few strikes to keep him rocked, wants a Superplex, but EY blocks, bites the face and Macho Elbow gets a very close two count. EY tries the Piledriver but Ace turns it into a Jacknife Cradle,Spinning Heel Kick, calls for The Fold, but the losers hop on the apron to distract, Ace attacks them. Ace tries to time out the Triangle Kick again, but Eric dodges, throws Ace head first through the buckles. As Ace stumbles out of the corner, Piledriver, and it’s over.

Oh look it’s the “we’ll hear from Joe Hendry” segment. Again, I’ve loved this gimmick since Day 1, even didn’t hate his What Culture Pro stuff, but there is such a thing as milking a cow too much. 

Elijah interrupts the whole “Who’s next” speech. When Elijah comes out he says he’s not the challenger and he believes in Joe. The crowd wants Elijah to turn on Hendry. Elijah pauses for a moment, and starts proving his friendship with stating his favorite color and a little “You Got a Friend in Me”. The crowd is into singing along and waving their cameras like Lighters to a 30 year old song. THANKFULLY Kaz breaks up the hug fest. Now he gets the “Culero” chant. 

Kaz pulls out a Bass…what the hell is this Jam Session. Kaz has to warm up so he plays “La Cucaracha” on the bass. Kaz…is a national treasure. Hendry kicks Kaz out of the ring after his Heelish and playfully racially charged song choices. Kaz tries to sow dissension, but Joe and Elijah pinball Kaz between them. Kaz slips a power move and tries to shove Elijah into Joe but Elijah puts the brakes on, a small tense moment. But then Joe and Elijah play “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey, Goodbye”…and that goes right into a commercial. Oddly…perfect.

Nic Nemeth w/Ryan Nemeth vs Leon Slater

Nic shoots the half immediately for a flash pinfall but Leon kicks out at one. Nic continues to keep things grounded with his amateur wrestling skills, and then does a little Dolph Ziggler show off. So Nic isn’t really taking this seriously, and Leon starts getting the best of things with an Arm Wringer, into drag, Shoulder Tackle and rope run as Nic tries to Leap Frog and Leon puts on the brakes and just shoves Nic on his ass. Nic gets annoyed, a few strikes, grinds his face along the ropes, but Leon keeps stringing some offense together, Back Handspring Elbow into his Corner con Hilo.

Ahh the classic formula of the commercial gives the heel the advantage, Twisting Suplex from Leon stops Nic’s offense momentum, right hand, Leon lifts Nic up for something, Nic slips it, kicks him in the gut, looks for the FameAsser, but Leon catches him into a Blue Thunder Bomb variation. Slater wants the Swanton 450, but Nic powders. Leon tries to adjust into a Dive, but Nic cuts him off, counter for counter and a FameAsser out of the counters for a two count. Nic starts the big brother tactics, bootwashes and arrogance, Slater fires, punches into a Yakuza Kick. Leon wants another Lethal Injection variant, but Nic catches him into a Rear Naked Choke. Slater tries to turn it into a pin so Nic breaks it. Leon wants a Leg Lariat but misses and gets unceremoniously dropped by Nic. Nic puts Leon up on the buckles, Superplex possibly but Slater counters, tries to collect himself for a move, but Nic falls into the ropes to crotch Leon, and finally hits the Superplex.

Twist of Slate from Leon, Swanton 450 but knees get up. Locomotion Cradles from both but they kick out, Ryan picks the ankle to trip up Leon just a touch and then Danger Zone ends the match.

Ryan starts the post match beatdown, but the Hardy’s music hits and they come down to the ring for the save. Matt challenges the Nemeths for Rebellion because they’re not medically cleared yet.

 

Overall Score: 6.5/10

Decent story motion, no match was offensive, and there was actually some solid match action for television standards. I don’t have a ton to complain about aside from the Knockouts Division is in a weird spot, and giving Hendry a lot of just talking and hollow payoff segments feels stupid. If we need to hear from him every week, give him a talk segment like Highlight Reel or something. Yes I know First Class just got The Penthouse, but if Hendry is going to talk more than wrestle, give him a talk segment for us to sink our teeth into.

There was the announcement that Xia, Lei Ying and Masha will face Tessa, Jacy and a mystery partner. So you gotta wonder if there’s going to be another NXT mercenary, a surprise return or if it’ll just be Rosemary since she’s got her issues with Xia. Also I just realized that Unbreakable is going to be on a Thursday, seemingly after iMPACT? I’m gonna have to see how they do it, because if there’s an Impact episode and 2-3 hour PLE…I do not want to be awake until 1am. People need to work, and I will be Unwakeable if things go that long.

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