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Impact Coverage

Andrew’s Impact Wrestling Ratings & Review (2/8/2019)

Impact Wrestling, coming off the worst Twitch viewership, and worst rated show of the year…do we see a bounce back leading into Uncaged?

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Impact Wrestling, coming off the worst Twitch viewership, and worst rated show of the year…do we see a bounce back leading into Uncaged?

With my assumed direction for the main event to become a 4 way, Allie’s ongoing struggle with Demons and Zombies, Team Impact vs Team AAA and Sami’s history with Rich Swann, Uncaged has a lot to build towards.

Let’s not overlook that we’re getting an Impact Tag Team Championship rematch between LAX and the Lucha Bros. So it’s gonna take some impressive fail for this episode to fall short.

Time to find out.

Ratings:

  • Rich Swann & Willie Mack vs Dave & Jake Crist: Swann wins via 450 Splash – ***
  • Kiera Hogan vs Allie: Hogan wins via Face the Music – ** 1/4
  • Rohit Raju vs Trey: Trey wins via Meteora – ***
  • Sami Callihan vs Puma King: Callihan wins via Piledriver – *** 1/4
  • Impact Tag Team Championship: LAX (c) vs Lucha Bros: Lucha Bros win via Spike Fear Factor – *** 3/4TITLE CHANGE!!

 

Review Notes:

Tag action starts us off. The Crists come out to continue the story with Swann and Sami Callihan. We get a solid match. Crowd was asleep, so that did make it come off a little flat, but lots of good action from both the Crists and Mack/Swann. So it’s a good start.

Lucha Bros promo, followed by the announcement that the Uncaged main event is now a 4 Way match. Johnny vs Cage vs Moose vs Kross. Obvious twist with how things have been going, but no complaints.

Flashback moment is the last few minutes of Pentagon’s World Championship victory against Austin Aries and Fenix at Redemption 2018.

We see the storyline move forward with all the Darkness, Su Yung gets wiped out and Allie has a fit thinking Su disappeared and Rosemary might show up. So because she freaks out and doesn’t just grab the bloody glove, Kiera takes the opening to hit her Cradle Neckbreaker finish. No appearance by Rosemary though.

They announce RVD & Sabu vs Lucha Bros for United We Stand.

Allie and Su are seen in the back, with Allie muttering “she’s here”. Screen flickers and a message is seen ” The witching is upon us. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.”

The contrast in styles between an old school heel and the new school “flippy” guy, worked fairly well. Old heel tactics kept Trey grounded for the most part, but he still pulled off a Triangle Enzuigiri as well as his Head Tucked in the Turnbuckle Tiger Feint ( think Will Ospreay’s Cheeky Nandos Kick, but tucking the head and then hitting a 619 instead). Trey winning with the Meteora off the top, punctuated the shenanigans more than looking cool.

Quick Scarlett bumper about her in-ring debut next week.

Sami and Puma King starts off with a lot of Sami brawling with some nice heel work. Puma King has a nice Headscissors out of a Tree of Woe, and then starts putting some offense together. After a huge miss on the dive to the outside, Puma King is on the back foot, but they do put together a nice sequence to pick things up a little. We get an odd Drop Toe Hold into La Magistral spot, but the finishing sequence is solid. All in all in the best match on the show so far, a damn solid episode already.

Video hype package for Taya versus Tessa.

Eli confronts Eddie Edwards about next week’s match, trying to convince him to drop the hardcore style.

Melissa Santos interviews Moose and Kross. Moose turns on a little more goofiness, trying to say it’s unfair to the others because they’re a team and have one another’s blind sides. Moose says “Just like Bill Belichick says, there’s no I in team” and Kross nods, ” That’s good. But I prefer the one with the Frog and the Scorpion”. Moose doesn’t get the reference, but it alludes to Kross using Moose to get to a goal. So we’ll see if it falls apart next week.

 

They had a lot to follow after their Homecoming match, but this wasn’t bad. It starts quick again, and this match had the same issue the last one did, where it felt too fast. Moves weren’t hitting flush, double clutching or waiting too long to take a spot hurt the match a little. Both tag teams kicked out of the respective finishers, so no one looks bad. Lucha Bros have to hit a second Spike Feat Factor, as Fenix lays out Ortiz with a tope. Konnan makes them shake hands, but there’s still a little heat.

 

 

Overall Score: 7.25/10

Nothing about this show was bad. Stories moved forward, big announcement for United We Stand with the RVD & Sabu vs Lucha Bros main event. Also coming off of the AEW news that Lucha Bros will show up there, winning the Impact Tag Championships could lead to some interesting cross over. Who knows.

But like I said, good show. Nice to see Impact bounce back a little from the lack luster show last week.

  • Week 1: High – 10,350 / Low – 8,500
  • Week 2: High – 8,000 / Low – 6,500 
  • Week 3: High – 8,500 / Low – 7,900  
  • Week 4: High – 7,100 / Low – 5,300
  • Week 5: High – 7,450 / Low – 5,650

As you see, the overall numbers were a little better than last week when it comes to Twitch audience, and it held steady at 6,000 for most of the show. So the product was a little better, as the ‘Go Home’ to Uncaged. So maybe we’ll see a spike next week for the bigger show.

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Coverage

Andrew’s TNA Turning Point Results & Match Ratings: 11.29.2024

BROOO – Turning Point…is definitely a thing. Live from WrestleCade, with their crew…it’s gonna look low budget, but can the matches save it?

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So Turning Point is truly a question mark to me. Perhaps TNA is palatable to the casual observer, but trying to watch it weekly, this has been a miserable build with story threads held together with chicken wire and prayer. At this point I can only really hope the matches are good quality because nothing has real weight on this card. Everything feels like a filler angle including Trey Miguel and PCO needing to be replaced because of “travel issues”.

My expectations are lower than a Chicago Bears fan, and I still may get disappointed…also…like a Bears fan. Okay I’m not gonna punch down on that fandom, at least you guys got good news with Eberflus getting his walking papers. Let’s find out which way I get surprised!

Ratings:

  • Mike Santana vs Frankie Kazarian: Santana wins via Spin the Block – * 1/2
  • Thanksgiving Turkey Bowl Match: Joe Hendry vs John Skyler vs Rhino vs Hammerstone vs Brian Myers vs Eric Young: Hendry wins via Standing Ovation – ** 1/4
  • X Division Championship: Moose (c) vs Laredo Kid: Moose retains via Lights Out – ** 1/2
  • NoDQ Match: Steve Maclin vs Josh Alexander: Maclin wins via Avalanche K.I.A. into shell casings – *** 1/2
  • The Hardyz & Ace Austin vs Kushida, Zachary Wentz & Riddle: Jeff wins via Swanton Bomb – *** 1/2
  • 2 out of 3 Falls Match TNA Knockouts Championship: Masha Slamovich (c) vs Jordynne Grace: Masha retains 2-1 after Package Piledriver – *** 1/4
  • TNA World Championship: Eddie Edwards vs Nic Nemeth (c): Nemeth retains via Danger Zone – *** 1/4

 

 

Results:

Mike Santana vs Frankie Kazarian

A simple Arm Drag starts things off and Kaz slows things down to complain to the referee…and then an Arm Wringer trade counter spot with a staredown. Aren’t opening matches supposed to hype the crowd with hot action or a big match? Why is this here? Oh my Christ, they go for the Arm Drag during a flurry at the same time and block each other and just keep up with half paced Cruiserweight stuff. I am not sports entertained.

We get typical slow burn moves of a Hip Attack into a pinfall, more weird Arm Drag fascinations which turns into locomotion cradles. This is just slow, boring and there’s no real story between the two, so its just two dudes in the ring doing moves. They try to go for an apron spot which turns into Kaz’s control but he tries the inside out Slingshot DDT and Santana’s head kinda misses the apron and they just crash. Back in Kaz hits his Springboard Leg Drop, but this is a bad match. I really can’t even bring myself to transcribe the action because its basic, lame and I stopped caring almost immediately.

Inane moves that don’t matter, near fall enrages Kaz, Fade to Black gets slipped, a few counters for position and Santana pulls off the Spin the Block to win. No one cares, completely useless match.

Thanksgiving Turkey Bowl Match: Joe Hendry vs John Skyler vs Rhino vs Hammerstone vs Brian Myers vs Eric Young

This is a gimmick bunch of stuff match, so even if its entertaining not a ton of play by play to be had until things eventually boil down to two or three in the ring. Oh look, Hendry and Skyler are the last two in the ring, Skyler lands a few shots until he tries to run the ropes, eats a Shoulder Tackle and then a Stalling Vertical Suplex into a pinfall but Myers slides in to break up the pinfall and throw both out, so Rhino is Myers’ new dancing partner. Bell clap, Irish Whip, Rhino looks for The Gore, but Hammer rips him out of the ring, EY takes Myers out and then EY and Hammer have some time together.

Hammer is either selling a leg injury really well or he pulled something. Hammer powders, Skyler and Myers team up to beat on EY and play defense of the ring to keep EY isolated. Tandem Suplex from Skyler and Myers but Hendry tries to get into the ring and is promptly dumped out. Hammer limps back in, tries to triple team EY, but is obviously favoring the leg. They try to set up a Tower of Doom, but Hendry connects with a few uppercuts, Rhino Gores Hammerstone and Rhino finishes the Tower of Doom spot. Hendry starts working on the three heels who are still comparatively ok, but Hendry goes for Locomotion Sack of Shits into Kip Ups, Skyler first, then Myers, and after a struggle spot…gets Hammerstone up and over! Myers stops the Standing Ovation, the Heels turn on each other, another Gore for Hammer, Gore for Skyler, Spear from Myers! Myers looks for the Roster Cut, Hendry moves Skyler out of the way and Standing Ovation on Myers! Hendry wins and Myers has to wear the Turkey Suit or get fired.

X Division Championship: Moose (c) vs Laredo Kid

Laredo starts with Low Round Kicks, Overhand Chops, tries to Old School walk the ropes, but Moose just shoves him to his demise and starts ragdolling him on the outside. This is the what your parents see when you “rough house” with younger siblings or cousins. Moose throws Laredo back in the ring and aims for the mask, the referee stops him, Jacknife Powerbomb attempt but Laredo slips it, two Enzuigiris, Laredo hits the ropes and a Big Boot stops Laredo from remembering Spanish for a minute. Moose perches him, claws at the mask again, Tree of Woe for some disrespectful stomps and Moose looks for a Spear, but Laredo manages to dodge. Tries to rally an Uno Mas chant for his Hip Attacks, but the crowd doesn’t care. Laredo keeps trying to counter Moose’s power moves with Back Slides, Sunset Cradles, Frankensteiners, but gets caught with a Uranage giving Moose a two count. Lish chokes Laredo on the ropes as Moose distracts the ref, Moose talks smack and then smacks Laredo across the face. Laredo tries to fire up, but he gets insta-dropped by a Moose chop.

Moose charges the corner a few times but Laredo has answers, Missile Dropkick sends Moose to the outside, Senton Atomico from the post to the outside! Laredo throws Moose back in, charges the corner, eats a boot, Moose perches, Laredo tries the Avalanche Frankensteiner but Moose holds on. Laredo gets back up, Laredo Fly! The small delay in making the cover allows Moose to kick out. Laredo goes to the top rope, 450 into Knees, Moose pops up, Lights Out, Kip Up and another! Moose retains as we all expected.

NoDQ Match: Steve Maclin vs Josh Alexander

Maclin comes out hot, lays Josh to the outside, SCUD, and stays on top of him with Chops and the usual “offense around the outside of the ring”. Like this is NoDQ 101. Maclin goes to find a table super early, first time we really hear the crowd all show. Maclin tries to go for a quick Spicolli Driver through the Table but Josh claws the eyes and slips the move, Josh tries to rock Maclin from the apron through the table, but a Slingshot Spear stops Josh’s offense and puts Maclin back in the driver’s seat. Beatings in the corner will continue until morale improves…or until Josh slips to the back and pulls off the German Suplexes that never end. After eating like 8, Maclin returns one back and is somehow up to his feet before Josh. Some corner spots and Josh dodges a charge and Release German sends Maclin neck first into a turnbuckle.

Both roll out of the ring, Josh finds another table, Steve tries to remember where he is. Josh wants to German Maclin into the table, but Maclin blocks, fires back, looks for a Powerbomb but eats a Back Body Drop onto the concrete. Josh wants the Power Bomb, but Maclin counters into the Spicolli Driver into Josh’s table! Maclin finds a trash can, a chair, a box of donuts, 4 hamsters in a shoe, a trash can lid…you know, the essentials. Josh goes for the Ankle Lock out of desperation, but Maclin has been using the Lid like spray bottle for a disobedient dog, and manages to make Josh powder. A Backbreaker gives Josh the advantage, he starts using the outside to further the advantage, throws the trash can on Maclin’s head…punches it and sells his hand hurting. Okay, a little funny, but a little stupid too. Canned Maclin gets sat on the apron so Josh can do his Low Crossbody through the ropes spot and then starts beating the hell out of Maclin with Trash Cans, Lids, burnt dinner rolls…oh and he finds a door. Why has the door become popular in the last few years? Because of GCW crap? Ugh.

Door backfires and Maclin Dropkicks it into Josh and then drops the Elbow in Josh through the Door. Then Maclin starts beating Josh with a tattered piece of door (a weird thing to write even in wrestling). Maclin tries to throw Josh back in, but Josh slips out, wraps Maclin’s leg into the post and then uses pieces of door to work over the leg further. Josh starts goading Maclin to do stuff knowing he’s worked over the leg, so that slows the pace even further…somehow. Josh sets up some chair art, peppers in a few more leg shots, Josh tries to set up the C4 Spike into the chairs, but Maclin counter and Alabama Slams Josh through the chairs. Some cripple fight moments, Josh grabs a chair, Maclin ducks it, kicks him in the gut to grab the chair, tosses the chair at him to hold and then Busaiku Knee into the chair. Maclin looks for Jar Headbutt, Josh Sabus the chair at Maclin. Puts Maclin up on his shoulders for a Torture Rack Bomb but throws Maclin out to into his table he set up in a very messy and dangerous way.

Josh brings Maclin back in, goes for the cover, Maclin kicks out, Ankle Lock but Maclin rolls forward to break the hold and sends Josh into a perched Trash Can. Tree of Woe, Caught in the Crosshairs connects! Maclin hits another! And a another! K.I.A…and that’s all…oh Maclin lifts up Josh’s head and says “My terms”. Maclin goes to find the bag of tacks…oh no, they’re shell casings! Maclin tries a KIA into shell casings but Josh kicks him in the dick and takes time to catch his breath. They trade shots in the corner, Josh wants an Avalanche C4 Spike into the Shells, but a Headbutt from the Marine proves deadly, Avalanche KIA into Shell Casings, Maclin wins!

It was slow, but the story it told over the last year or so does help a bit. But between the awful camera work, and generally bad card, its hard for me to get really excited. 

The Hardyz & Ace Austin vs Kushida, Zachary Wentz & Riddle

Ace and Wentz start off, nice quick counters, leg picks, cartwheels, headscissor grabs, just solid Junior stalemate work. After the stalemate, Wentz asks Ace to tag Jeff, the crowd pops and Wentz looks like a kid playing at school and Jeff seems amused also. They even trade Rascalz fingers before locking up, Wentz tries something, chases Jeff out, Matt makes the blind tag as Wentz doesn’t see it so Matt surprises Wentz and we get the double team Hardy Backbreaker/Polish Hammer. Matt hits a Shoulder Tackle but Wentz Kips Up, Arm Drag and Twist, Wentz chases Matt into the corner but Matt moves so Wentz hits the Twists Crossbody from the middle rope. Works Matt to his corner, Kushida tags in, works Matt down and locks in the Liger style Surf Board. Kushida tries to transition to something else, but Matt gets away from him, tags out to Jeff, some double team work allows Jeff to tag Ace and we see some cohesion with the Ace Hardyz. Kushida does manage some space with a Front Dropkick, points to Riddle, the crowd pops and Riddle comes in. Some nice Gutwrench Side Suplexes, FIgherman’s Suplex Hold for two. Wentz tags in, Riddle and Wentz go for a tandem move but Ace manages to fight through and get knees up during Riddle’s Senton. Ace tags in Jeff, and Wentz is getting rocked.

Wentz continues to eat Irish Whips, Dropkicks to the back, Jeff tags out to Matt and Matt eats the Delete Headsmashes, a Rocket Launcher into the middle rope, and now Matt tags out to Ace. Ace with the Front Facelock and Knee in Wentz’s back..tries to keep control but Wentz fights out of the enemy corner, Ricky to Robert to Riddle. Pele, Rip Chord Knee and starts beating on Matt and Ace. T-bone Suplex into a PK on Ace, Bro-Trigger for two! Kushida tries to work on the arm, Ace starts to fight back, Simultaneous High Kicks drop both men. Same time tags Wentz and Jeff are in, Jeff hits all of his classic jams for a two. Twist attempt, but a Jumping Knee from Wentz says no. Kushida tags in, they try to double Jeff but eat a Whisper in the Wind instead. Poetry in Motion takes Wentz out of the ring, Ace takes Riddle off the apron, but Riddle recovers enough to break up the pinfall. Signature spam, Side Effect, Tanaka Punch, Twist of Fate, Jeff and Riddle slowly get to their feet…fist bump and then throw fists. Flurry turns into Jeff hitting a Canadian Destroyer on Riddle! Kushida gets doubled by the Hardyz, Double Back Handspring Elbow levels them both, Plot Twist from the Hardy, Swanton from Jeff on Kushida wins the match!

2 out of 3 Falls Match TNA Knockouts Championship: Masha Slamovich (c) vs Jordynne Grace

Since its a two out of three falls match, its of course gonna start slow, especially since Riddle and Hardyz popped the crowd pretty hard last match. So some simple tie ups and missed Spinning Backfists makes sense, a snap Spinebuster from Jordynne is an early pinfall attempt. Grace goes for a Powerbomb, Masha slips it, Hook Kick into a Gory Special that she drops into the ropes. Big Knee Lift into a Lariat gives Masha an near fall. Masha then goes to the hair use Snapmares, PK misses, Jordynne powders and Masha sees it so she just dives onto Jordynne in one fluid motion. Jordynne is rocked early, Masha looks for something on the apron, Grace throws Masha back into the ring so Jordynne can recover, but Masha hits the PK through the ropes. Struggling on the apron commences, Round Kicks to the chest and a Push Kick from Masha, but Jordynne hits a Spinning Back Fist and then a Package Piledriver onto the apron. Jordynne finally has some control in the match. Picks up Masha, rolls her back in, Jordynne follows but Masha rolls back out to buy some time.

Jordynne throws forearms, looks for Snake Eyes onto the apron, but Masha slips it and they brawl on the outside. Locomotion Piledriver counters, Masha finally gets the best of it, Package Piledriver from Masha to Jordynne on the floor! Masha breaks the count at 8 and decides their gonna make things definitive. She rolls Jordynne into the ring, goes for the pinfall, but Jordynne kicks out at two. Jordynne fires out of nowhere after a few Round Kicks with Body Slams, Slamovich hits the Back Fist followed by a Buzzsaw Kick, Grace counters a Masha kick into an Air Raid Crash for two. Kinikku Buster attempt but Masha slips it, they struggle, throw fists and then go into locomotion Cradles which Jordynne gets the best of, folds Masha up and scores the first fall. Jordynne 1-0

Masha hits the gas right after the break, two charging Front Kicks, Waterwheel Kick into a near fall. Masha looks for a suplex, Jordynne fights it off, but Masha gets the best of it, throws Jordynne into the corner and locks in some kind of Straight Jacket Double Chicken Wing, but Jordynne fights it off and they trade a few submission attempts before Jordynne pancakes Masha and gets a near fall. Short arm Lariat from Grace for only two. Kudome Valentine attempt from Jordynne but Masha slips it, Body Scissors Cradle from Masha into a Double Stomp and a near 2 count. Masha goes right into the Sleeper Hold, but Jordynne is fighting it off. Masha gets dumped, Kudome Valentine again but this one connects! 1-2-2.9! Juggernaut Driver attempt, but Masha keeps fighting, Enzuigiri from Masha, Tornado DDT into riding it down and locking in a Guillotine Choke! Jordynne refuses to stop, World’s Strongest Slam, Vader Bomb, Juggernaut Driver…countered by Masha with a Small Package and Masha ties it up! TIED 1-1

They both just start punching each other instead of going to the corner for the breather between falls. Referee forces the break, Masha throws kicks, Jordynne throws fists, Thrust Kick, Back Fist, but a Spinning Heel Kick rocks Jordynne so Masha goes for a Back Slide only 2. Running Knee from Masha, Gutwrench Sitout Powerbomb into the Package Piledriver from Masha for the decisive fall! Masha wins 2-1

TNA World Championship: Eddie Edwards vs Nic Nemeth (c)

Yet another match that starts slow. Does it make sense, sure, but nothing really starting hot and staying hot makes a fairly lame show just drag further. Just Shoulder Tackles, Drop Toe Holds, Submissions or Amateur Wrestling pinfall attempts, very slow stuff until Eddie just fires across the ring with a Charging Polish Hammer. Eddie puts Nic in the corner, one big NOAH chop and Nic sells like he’s shot in the chest. Nic has been on the receiving end of high impact but simple offense and going for repeated pinfalls. Lish gets involved a little with a rope choke, but we’ve grown to expect that from our Queen of Boston. Another Chop to the chest kills Nemeth, Eddie Irish Whips Nic chest first across…but when Eddie goes for something else Nic slips it and starts stringing together a few moves, Straight to the Heart Elbow Drops, Eddie powders before the 10th elbow, and tries to dodge and play coy.

Eddie dodges a Superkick on the outside and Nic takes out the time keeper. Nic hits the Elbow from the Top Rope eventually, looks to connect with a Superkick in the ring, but Lish causes a distraction and Eddie manages a Knee Breaker and to take back control. Nic tries to fire back up, a few traded punches, they both hit the ropes and do the simultaneous Lariat lay out spot. They get up, trade punches again, Nic levels Eddie with a Headbutt, Lish grabs Nic’s ankle as he tries to continue but the referee sees it all clearly. Even though Eddie rocks Nic, the referee ejects Lish and Eddie is distraught. Nic hops on him and goes for the 10 Count Punches, into a Thesz Press and more punches FameASSer gets countered into a Blue Thunder Bomb for a near fall! Backpack Stunner from Eddie after the Enzuigiri but only a two count. Eddie stops a Nic flurry, charges forward and eats a FameASSer!

Lish comes back down to the ring to talk shit after being ejected, she tries to hit Nic, but he ducks Eddie’s sneak attack, Eddie stops himself from hitting his wife, Lish grabs the belt, hits Nic with the belt, Eddie hits the Boston Knee Party…but Nic kicks out!? Die Hard Flowsion attempt but Nic slips it into a Danger Zone! Eddie kicks out of the Danger Zone! Fighting Spirit spot, into both spilling over to the outside after a Lariat. TURKEY MYERS COMES OUT! JBL comes out of the crowd! He charges to the ring, lays out Turkey Myers! Lish is beside herself. JBL looks over at Nic and walks away.

Both men pull each other up in the corner, Pop Up, counter, Headbutt, Danger Zone no, Boston Knee Party misses, Superkick into another Danger Zone and Nemeth retains.

 

Overall Score: 3/10

WrestleCade is a terrible production crew, the camera was bad, the lightning was bad, this reminded me more of the dark rinky dink 2015 era TNA. It also doesn’t help that the first few matches sucked, Xia Brookside looked like a snack and a half on the countdown pre-show, but she jobbed out to day old demon past her prime. Santana and Kaz was a waste of time, a bad match and a worse opener. Turkey Bowl was a mess and with Hammerstone pulling up lame 4 minutes into the match that just annoys me since I love Hammer, and if he’s legit hurt that really blows. Laredo Kid is really just a diversity hire and always has been, they give him no personality, no real momentum, he is just a generic luchador. He’s like Temu Suicide.

Jordynne and Masha was solid but the last fall felt really rushed and awkward, especially with all the slow start matches. The 6 man was more entertaining than it had any business being, but that’s also because Matt Riddle is awesome. Maclin and Josh was good storytelling, just wrapped in a bad show so hard to click into. Main event was fine, over booked, definitely silly, but okay. All in all, if this was a long episode of iMPACT! it would be fine, but this was a PLE/App Event whatever, and that really just gives me no hope for Final Resolution.

Genesis better be the start of new stories and a new booker. Because whoever it is (I think its Dreamer, but don’t know), is terrible and needs to be bumped down to an agent at best. This has been some of the worst story TNA has done these last 8 months. Just pissed away the hype that Scott D’Amore created.

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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 11.21.2024

Let’s pretend last week didn’t happen? Okay? So tonight’s iMPACT! has to be better…right?

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So things can’t get much worse than last week unless this ends up a negative score. Hopefully we got the filler episode or the TNA equivalent of A Feast for Crows, out of the way. I’d like at least a high school level attempt at logically telling a story, not bad promos and story beats almost as bad as Final Fantasy XIV: Dawntrail.

The show kicks off with the Knockouts title match featuring Lish. Now while I’m not gonna put Lish over for her ringwork, but her character work is great. So being a NO DQ match, we should get more gimmick and less “work rate”. I will just make it known before the show happens, I am very sick of Tommy Dreamer’s booking (or whoever really has it). Literally none of the stories matter, they aren’t consistent with the storytelling and are squandering the brand equity and good faith returning to TNA has granted them. Lots of potentially decent pieces on this roster, just booking is written by a blind kindergartner who’s just pulling a lever on a See ‘N Say and making that an angle.

Ratings:

  • TNA Knockouts Championship NO DQ Match: Masha Slamovich (c) vs Alisha Edwards: Masha retains via Package Piledriver – ** 1/2
  • ASH by Elegance w/Personal Concierge & Heather vs Jody Threat w/Dani Luna: ASH wins via Rarefied Air – **
  • Rhino vs Frankie Kazarian: Kaz wins via School Boy w/ Feet on ropes – ** 1/4
  • Moose & JDC vs Leon Slater & Laredo Kid: Slater wins via La Magistral – *
  • Savannah Evans vs Brittany Jade: Evans wins via Full Nelson Bomb – SQUASH
  • The Hardy Boyz & Ace Austin vs Birminghammer Daddies (Hammerstone, Jake Something & Trent Seven): Trent wins via Birminghammer – ***

 

Results:

TNA Knockouts Championship NO DQ Match: Masha Slamovich (c) vs Alisha Edwards

Lish starts off during the introductions, hits a big Forearm and starts laying into Masha in the corner. Lish grabs Kendra, takes a swing, but Masha ducks it and gets a little bit of revenge before a trash can lid stalls Masha’s Suicida. Lish throws Masha back in the ring, along with a chair. Throat Chop from Lish, followed up with a DDT onto the chair and Lish gets an early two count. Lish puts the chair in the corner, bounces Masha’s face off of it a few times before trying to set up for a Corner Crossbody, but Masha moves and Lish eats the chair. Masha grabs a trash can, pops the crowd and tries something but Lish puts the brakes on the initial attack before Masha just smashes Lish’s face into the can, sets her up in the corner, looks for a Superplex through the can, but Lish block and gouges the eyes, slips between her legs and the Avalanche Powerbomb onto the can gives Lish another two count!

Kendra comes into play again, a few quick cracks just seems to piss off Masha, she fires, grabs the kendo stick from Lish and beats on her a few times before the Package Piledriver seals the deal and Masha retains!

Tasha Steelz attacks after the pinfall, so Jordynne makes the save for Masha so they can have a moment before their match at Turning Point. 

ASH by Elegance w/Personal Concierge & Heather vs Jody Threat w/Dani Luna

ASH plays the powder to annoy the babyface gimmick, but after the second time Jody steps on ASH’s hand when she tries to quickly break the count and powder again. A few suplexes give Jody the early advantage, but she misses the Spear into the corner and posts herself. Heather uses the moment of distraction to hit Jody with a Neckbreaker and ASH grabs a cheap two count. ASH works Jody over in a corner, distracts the referee again so Heather attacks one more time. The crowd is surprisingly loud for a Jody comeback…but ASH does the ole hair slam into a Headlock.

Jody finally powers up for the comeback, rope spot with the Knees to the back and German Suplex but ASH uses the hair pull to stop Jody from continuing…momentarily. Jody is beating on ASH in the corner, perches ASH, looks for the Superplex but Heather tries to get into the ring to distract the referee, Concierge helps to anchor ASH, so ASH fights off Jody, hits Rarefied Air and wins the match!

Mike Santana comes out for a promo, and about a minute into, the stupid channel switches into Picture in Picture mode. DURING A PROMO. So I have no clue if anything being said is clever, well done or why Frankie Kazarian showed up. Anthem needs to get their act together, this is embarrassing. Apparently we come back in time for the punchline and because they’re both gunning for the World Title Santana challenges Kaz to a Turning Point match because “no nights off”? What kind of moron e-fed story is this? And Tom throws to Picture in Picture as soon as Rhino comes out to kick off the Kaz match…but the commercial break already happened. Sad.

Rhino vs Frankie Kazarian

Lots of stalling from Kaz, since this is supposed to be during PiP, so dumb stuff like powdering, opportunistic throwing Rhino face first into the steps…so on and so forth. Just slow paced dumb stuff until we’re supposed to be “back”, so now Rhino will start…yup Uppercut cuts off Kaz, Lariat, a few Knife Edge Chops into some Short Arm Shoulder Tackles. Kaz powders, tries to grab his Call Your Shot trophy, referee takes it away from him, Kaz runs into the ring and tries to grab his scarf, ref again disarms him but Kaz kicks the middle rope into Rhino for a near fall. Kaz starts laying in some fists and chokes with his shin, cocky cover for 2.

They start just throwing hands, because reasons…Rhino gets the best of it and connects with a few Lariats and a Shoulder Tackle into a Belly to Belly for a two count. The crowd is behind Rhino, a few more Lariats, Gore set up, but Kaz sidesteps it, School Boy with the feet on the ropes for the win.

This vignette is hot garbage in my opinion. Trying to frame PTSD as trust issues in half baked choppy Netflix recap of a Burn Notice knockoff. 

Moose & JDC vs Leon Slater & Laredo Kid

Yeah this match is useless on paper. Laredo is such a filler enhancement talent and even if JDC could eat a pin against say Leon…there’s no way Leon is beating Moose for the X Division title. So aside from a time filler, this match serves no purpose.

JDC starts and eats offense from both Laredo and Leon, as is expected, but I really can’t be dragged into caring about this match. Laredo is joke, Leon is someone they want to hype up but he’s got no discernable personality aside from “British”. Laredo breaks up a pinfall attempt, John Woo Dropkicks JDC into the post after dodging a Spear, Moose catches a Laredo dive and turns it into an Apron Powerbomb, Leon flies over the post to wipe out Moose, locks up JDC in the La Magistral, and its over.

So as I alluded to, it’s technically just a way to set up a challenger for the X Division title, but even if the match is good, Leon shouldn’t beat Moose unless he brings a rifle. 

Hendry is out talking, as per usual, and doing his usual thanking the fans for believing and saying all the babyface things. Is definitely cookie cutter, he’s passionate so he sells the basic words well, but it’s basic shit.

Savannah Evans vs Brittany Jade

Skye Blue from wish is the jobber that Savannah gets to eat. Propels Jade across the ring, corner splashes a few times, throws her into the ropes, Jade goes for a Flying Headscissors but Savannah blocks the momentum and reverses it, Facebuster, Samoan Drop, and now Full Nelson Bomb to kill the jobber. There we go, no one is shocked and it didn’t really do anything for Savannah, it was more just a basic reminder of her power moves. Nothing flashy, so if Lei Ying Lee loses, then she’s dead in the water.

The Hardy Boyz & Ace Austin vs Birminghammer Daddies (Hammerstone, Jake Something & Trent Seven)

The Seven Star Hammer Daddies or Birminghammer Daddies…not sure which I like more. Think I’m leaning towards Birminghammer Daddies.

Hammer and Matt start, Matt has control, Jake tries to make the save but ends up eating the Delete Buckle Face Smashes. Matt tries to Double Coconut Jake and Hammer, but they no sell, beat their chests and drop Matt. Hammer works over Matt a little, tags in Trent and then Matt counters whatever Trent tries and gets Jeff in. Classic Senton/Legdrop Doubles, Jeff’s Low Dropkicks, and just typically classic Hardy stuff. Jeff looks for Twist of Fate, Bop and Bang counters, Trent hits a Flowsion and tags out to Jake. Jeff and Matt do some veteran tactics with a blind tag as Jake tries to chase Jeff. But the referee tells Jake that Jeff isn’t legal just in time for Matt to hit a Chop Block and tandem Hardy offense, Ace gets involved in some of the fun and finally gets tagged in. Ace has Jake in the corner, Hammer tries to break things up but Ace moves and Hammer collides with Jake, Trent gets sent in, Double Poetry on the stacked up heel team, they go for Twists in Triplicate…but the heels shove off and powder.

After the picture in picture, we know the heels had control with basic heel stuff, but Ace clears the apron with a big Double Dropkick, Enzuigiri to Trent to try and lunge, but Jake and Hammer pull the Hardys off the apron. Tandem Powerbomb from the Daddies, Trent hits the Seven Star Lariat, but Ace kicks out at two! Birminghammer attempt is slipped, X Plex attempt but Ace turns it into a Flatliner! Ace tags in Jeff and Trent didn’t look for the tag! Jeff hot tag, wipes out the apron, through the legs Double Leg Drop, Flashing Elbow, but the Daddies come in and we get to the signature spam moves for moves sake moment. Matt counters a tandem Back Body Drop with the Double DDT, Twists in Triplicate are hit, Swanton Bomb is called for but Jake and Hammer put a stop to that.

Ace tries to fly on the big men but they catch him, so Jeff gets up and connects the big splash to assist Ace. Plot Twist on Trent! Swanton Bomb from Jeff, 1-2-but Hammer and Jake pull out Ace. Hardys almost fall victim to the Final Chapter, but slip it and hit Stereo Twists of Fate. Referee is checking on the outside stuff, counters The Fold with a Low Blow, Birminghammer wins the match for the Birminghammer Daddies!

Hardyz try to attack Trent, but the big men stop them, they look to make an example out of the veterans, but Rascalz and Kushida make the save. 

 

Overall Score: 4.5/10

Still not what I would call a “good” episode, but at least there was a semblance of trying to remember stories they had going on, a couple alright promos and vignettes. But between the Picture in Picture mistiming, the Maclin vignette being inane and three matches in the middle that mean literally nothing in the grand scheme of things just makes the show feel both bloated and lacking at the same time. Genesis better be the start of a new booker, because literally everything since Scott left has been kinda stupid. A few obvious connections got made and that was fine, but the reimagining of The System swagger (or lack thereof), Hendry becoming the Tetsuya Naito of TNA and the desolate Knockouts Division really makes this a hard product to get any consistency out of much less tolerate what they hand us.

The main event was at least tolerable, give Trent and Ace something with Speedball leaving and Bey injured, and potentially setting up Hammer Daddies to challenge for the tag titles, I’m not mad at that. If I had a say in things, Hardyz should drop the belts to either Hammer Daddies or First Cla$$.

So this was better than last week, but that’s a low bar, and with next week being a Thanksgiving Special, this was technically the Go Home for Turning Point. So next Friday is hopefully a good show, because that card looks bad.

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