Impact Coverage
Andrew’s IMPACT Ratings & Review 3/8/2019
Following up the largest Twitch audience so far; Andrew brings us his thoughts on IMPACT!
Following up the largest Twitch audience so far; Andrew brings us his thoughts on IMPACT!
I don’t have a cute play on words this week, but hey, we find out who Scarlett’s first opponent will be! So a guarantee of Scarlett is always nice.
Will Glenn find Don Callis? How stoned will the Rascalz get? Will Rich Swann join oVe?
Just remember, my writing is like a Scarecrow, outstanding in it’s field! No? Shuddup Santana!
.@SantanaLAX and @Ortiz5150 don't seem all that pleased with having to do things @Konnan5150's way. #IMPACT
WATCH NOW – https://t.co/jyZYT6QL46 pic.twitter.com/HCZkLbI3Fi
— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) March 9, 2019
Ratings:
Rich Swann vs ‘All Ego’ Ethan Page: Swann wins via Phoenix Splash – ** 3/4
Ace Austin vs Jake Atlas: Austin wins via The Fold – ** 1/2
DARK WAR: Allie, Su Yung & Undead Maid of Honor vs Kiera Hogan, Jordynne Grace & Rosemary: Rosemary wins via Spear – ***
Dez & Wentz vs Lucha Bros: Pentagon wins via Pentagon Driver/Superkick combo – *** 1/2
Results:
We start off with a match again! Odd to notice, there’s a giant Live watermark in the corner…I don’t know why. We all know it isn’t, not sure who’s bright idea it was to add that to production. But the match is good, Page definitely gloats and plays to the crowd too much, feeding into the All Ego moniker, so that’s good character work. Swann gets caught by a few heel short cuts, but after a strike exchange, Swann hits a Back Handspring Cutter and then a Phoenix Splash for the win.
oVe comes out, offers Swann the shirt again. Swann puts the shirt on, but attacks them and bails in DDP style fake out.
Callis and Melissa are back again! I think they’ve realized Melissa is a selling point to the Twitch crowd. Callis will be leaving soon since he’s in Japan for the New Japan Cup commentary. Now give us some Jimmy Jacobs!
LAX backstage segment, Konnan says his new favorite line of being like Scarecrows Outstanding in their field, and Santana just stares at the camera like “really?” – So I like the small 4th wall break and the casual style of segment LAX seem to always have.
Rolando Menendez investigative reporter segment trying to interview Cage after his beat down last week. He gets kicked out by referees before Cage can kill him.
This is a surprisingly competitive match with what seemed like local enhancement talent. Austin looks smooth in the ring, likes to use an Outside-In Disaster Kick and his finish is a Running Blockbuster after a Sweet Chin Music style “tuning up the band”. Not bad.
Menendez again with a satellite interview with Taya and Johnny. Johnny is in a neck brace, they say he’s looking at neck fusion but he’s still gonna honor the title shot he promised Cage. The bullshit can be smelled, not because it’s wrestling, but because Johnny is about as sincere as Jared Leto’s Joker (acting is about on par too…yes I mean awful). So I guess we’re setting up Cage to get screwed again. Just put the damn belt on The Machine!
Reno Scum accepts the Fallah and KM challenge in an old school style promo. It’s not bad.
Alisha Edwards comes out with an announcement. I forgot how much she sounds like a typical chick from Boston. Like the chick from the Ted Movie…but without charisma. She says a lot of nothing since her contract is coming to an end. She says maybe she’ll stay home and start a family, so the Desi Hit Squad come out and an support her comment on leaving and typical misogynistic woman bashing. Can’t tell if it’s racist since they’re Indian or just for heat on International Women’s Day. But Gama gets slapped. Eddie Edwards comes out with the kendo stick and cleans house until he stalls on hitting Gama. Eli saunters out, hits the ring slowly, Desi Hit Squad thinks he’s on their side, but he clears them, Gravy Trains for everyone and walks off telling Eddie “it’s something to think about”.
Menendez AGAIN. Approaches Cage with his Johnny info and Cage shoves him and says “No one likes a shit stirrer Menendez”.
Technical difficulties always haunt Melissa. It’s funny how it happens every week. Embrace the gimmick Melissa.
Alisha, Eddie and Eli in the back, Eddie agrees to tagging next week against the Desi Hit Squad, 1 time. I do like this idea of Eli working back into things with a possible tag team run.
GWN Flashback is The Wolves vs The Hardys vs Team 3D from No Surrender 2014. Ladder match that brings back old TLC memories since two thirds of the originators are in this match.
Out of the flashback comes a Melissa Santos interview with Kross and Moose. Moose is a good goofy/smug heel and Kross is captivating. The way he speaks is great. He enunciates well, and has a presence that makes you care about what he says.
Rascalz with a great promo, watch:
The Rascalz are looking for any advantage against The Lucha Bros – including some sort of Face Off situation. #IMPACT @DezmondXavier @TheTreyMiguel @zachary_wentz
WATCH NOW – https://t.co/jyZYT6QL46 pic.twitter.com/t03N3hQXyz
— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) March 9, 2019
James Mitchell looks like Geoff Tate…I can’t unsee it now, Operation: MIND CRIME! The match is held under sexy red and purple mood lighting. It’s a little odd to watch, but to begin with each person gets a shot in the match and Jim Mitchell’s team is up to usual tricks. A couple odd spots, but generally fun. Granted I don’t know how the Undead Maid of Honor became the legal wrestler, so even though Rosemary wins, it’s up for argument. But we see Rosemary put a collar and leash on Allie and drag her up the ramp.
Glenn bumps into Konnan, says Don Callis hired him to be a mascot, tells him he’s in his office. Glenn storms in, runs off at the mouth thinking it was Don, but it ended up being Killer Kross. Good comedy.
More Glenn after the break:
.@TheRealDisco seems to believe he can be among the elite of Executive Vice Presidents too. #IMPACT
WATCH NOW – https://t.co/jyZYT6QL46 pic.twitter.com/odphLR5HfR
— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) March 9, 2019
Scarlett comes out to declare her first opponent. A little playful banter with her and Josh in the ring talking about the people she was scouting before. She says Disco Inferno was the worst candidate. Glenn gets mad, cuts a misogynistic promo, Scarlett is all fired up and challenges Disco. Disco says if she feels the same way next week, she won’t have to look too hard to find him. Against All Odds in 3 weeks is the official match between Scarlett and Glenn.
Tessa being interviewed by Melissa in the back. Jordynne Grace and Tessa Blanchard confirmed for next week in a number 1 contender match.
Rascalz and Lucha Bros have a quick paced match with a good bit of personality back and forth. Rascalz hung in there for a while, pulling off some fun high risk moves. Rascalz get effectively outclassed in this match. Fenix and Pentagon hit a little harder with the tandem moves and pull off the win with the Pentagon Driver/Superkick combo which we haven’t seen in a while Usually they finish matches with the Spiked Fear Factor.
Overall Score: 6.5/10
Above average, but the show did feel a little flat. The Dark War was really the biggest thing in a show that furthered all of the stories, but didn’t seem to have a great flow. Still not bad at all with good comedy with Glenn, Dark War entertainment and the main event was solid…but things were odd. Like I pointed out with the Dark War, I don’t know why the pin counted when I’m fairly positive Allie was the legal wrestler (maybe I missed a tag, but that bothered me), plus the fact that Allie doesn’t seem to have her soul back so what could’ve been a big culmination feels more like a comma.
Twitch Views:
- Week 1: High – 10,350 / Low – 8,500
- Week 2: High – 8,000 / Low – 6,500
- Week 3: High – 8,500 / Low – 7,900
- Week 4: High – 7,100 / Low – 5,300
- Week 5: High – 7,450 / Low – 5,650
- Uncaged: High – 9,000/ Low – 8,000
- Week 6: High – 8,025/ Low – 5,300
- Week 7: High – 14,400/Low – 9,800
- Week 8: High – 7,200/Low – 4,500
This show started off slow with the viewers (hence why the low is where it’s at), but once the show got moving, it held steady at around 6,000. Coming off the huge spike last week, this is a little disappointing, but honestly the show didn’t feel extremely important either. So this seems to happen if you look back at Week 4. It’s either the fact that Friday is a rough day for a product with no Video On Demand, or people just pick a week or two to tune out and then come back before or after (or during) named events.
Again, the show was above average and still a very solid product to continue to show some love to.
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Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
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Coverage
Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 1.16.25
The Go Home for Genesis this Sunday! Let’s see what happens!
So Genesis is Sunday, followed by next week’s Live Episode of iMPACT! Let’s see exactly how we get to Genesis and not to bury the lead, the fact the WWE/TNA partnership was extended for a few years is very big news for TNA. More visibility for a nostalgic brand and the younger NXT wrestlers get more opportunities with potential sprinkles of a big name here or there (yes I only really mean AJ Styles, but that’s what we all want to see one more time).
Let’s get to the show and see if it’s a Go Home worth anything.
After her shocking appearance on @WWENXT, @mashaslamovich steps into the confessional with @WeAreRosemary…
WATCH #TNAiMPACT on TNA+: https://t.co/Dw7ITswj28 pic.twitter.com/YSTXfJZw6X
— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) January 17, 2025
Ratings:
- Trent Seven vs Leon Slater: Slater wins via Swanton 450 – *
- Fir$t Cla$$ vs Maniac Marines (Eric Young & Steve Maclin): EY wins via Macho Elbow – ** 3/4
- Laredo Kid vs Jake Something: Jakes wins via Avalanche Something Bomb – **
- The Hardys vs Ohio Versus Frankenstein (Sami Callihan & PCO): Hardys win via Crouton Bomb – ***
Results:
Trent Seven vs Leon Slater
British on British violence! I just appreciate that Trent’s theme is a down tuned remix of Seven Nation Army.
A little back and forth until Slater hits a Reverse Gamengiri, Trent tries to climb back to the apron after the powder, eats a Shotgun Kick. Trent dodges the dive, and Suplexes Leon down the steps at Center Stage. I feel like Slater over sold the spot, but I suppose using your surroundings is always interesting. Leon slides in at 9.5, Trent gets a little cocky and Leon hits two Flash Cradles for near falls, as Trent is reeling from the quick pinfall attempts he eats another Shotgun Kick for a near fall. Trent sells to the corner, eats a Jumping Bootwash, Leon perches Trent, goes for possibly a Spanish Fly but Trent turns it into an Avalanche Flowsion for two!
Bop and Bang, 7 Star Lariat, Piledriver with flourish and…still a two. Birminghammer attempt but Slater flips out of it, Crucifix pinfall for two, Uppercut by Trent and Birminghammer is hit! But Slater…kicks…out? He sells a Suplex where he slides down steps like death, but eats huge signature and finishing moves and kicks out. The psychology in this match is non-existent. Trent does the Finger Break, Leon sells away, hits another Shotgun Kick and Trent powders. X Plex gets reversed into a DDT from Slater. Trent powders off the Ramp, Leon goes to the entrance way runs and jumps off the ramp, then hits the Swanton 450.
Completely stupid match with spots that make no sense. All sizzle no steak, so dumb my IQ dropped 5 points.
The Elegance Clique have a “Pre-Launch Championship Celebration”. Tom Hannifan hates it, the crowd hates it, and the Personal Concierge uncovers a cardboard cut out with a Knockouts Title around their waists…and they are size accurate. Heather is like a My Size Barbie. Ash gives a very cringey speech where she thanks everyone except Heather, the Concierge passes the mic to Heather, Spitfire interrupts of course, and at least Dani cuts the promo to start so it’s tolerable. Yeah this is painfully bad cringe, as much as I didn’t mind the Ash gimmick to start with, this is lame. The only thing saving the segment is the crowd is hot for the the Elegance Clique getting their stuff ruined. So it was lame, but the crowd was into it and Ash sold the destruction of cardboard cut outs like Spitfire just murdered her puppy.
.@PCOisNotHuman and @TheSamiCallihan take on The Hardys! If they win, they’ll secure their spot in the TNA World Tag Team Title match at #TNAGenesis!
WATCH #TNAiMPACT on TNA+: https://t.co/Dw7ITswQRG pic.twitter.com/fO9P2F5d9d
— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) January 17, 2025
Well the first 40 minutes of this show are making me wish for a stroke instead of watching this. So hopefully it picks up somewhere.
Fir$t Cla$$ vs Maniac Marines (Eric Young & Steve Maclin)
KC flips out of two of EY’s Back Body Drops and does his “First Class” taunt, so EY just slaps him upside the head and tags in Maclin to start beating on Navarro. I do really like KC’s work. He’s like WWE Lio Rush, but likable and talented. Maclin is beating the hell out of KC though, Lariats him out, goes for the SCUD, but AJ low bridges so Maclin crashes to the outside, KC hits the Tope con Hilo with blind tag so AJ is now legal and they start working over Maclin in the corner. Tennessee Whiskey, and there does seem to be a few First Class fans in the crowd.
Navarro is back in for the 305, quick tags though to keep Maclin eating offense. Splash into Big Boot into Assisted Splash while AJ leans on Maclin literally. KC starts picking on kids in the crowd near Judd Normand, he shoves the actor, the actor shoves him back and AJ comes over to mad dog the actor. Maclin takes advantage of the distraction and drops AJ on the way back in with an Olympic Slam, tags in EY and EY comes out hot. KC tags in, EY levels KC and they start messing around in the corner, AJ tries to break it up but eats a Busaiku Knee from Maclin and then a SCUD. EY manages to throw KC off the turnbuckle and then hit the Macho Elbow for the win.
After the match Eddie, Lish and Brian Myers stand at the entrance way to send a message but not cause any real chaos.
Josh Alexander and his two bitch boys come out to cut a promo on Santana or something. I am about as interested in this as I am in Norwegian Dog Sledding. Josh trying to say Santana is too hurt to go at Genesis when we all know this was filmed the same time like a month ago. You really can’t do doofus attempts a story when you’re promoting the first live episode in nearly a decade or something for next week. At least the match should be good because this build is lame, the jabronis are useless, “Bald Ass Head” is the big insult…sheeeesh.
Laredo Kid vs Jake Something
Well…someone has to win this match, so there’s that.
Nothing special start until Jake comes off the ropes and runs over Laredo sending him flying over the ropes onto the ramp. Jake panders to the crowd, Laredo tries to get something going but Jake steps on his foot to stop any Lucha things, and mollywops him. Jake runs him corner to corner until Laredo moves, strings a few moves together, tries to fly and then gets knocked out of the sky with a Forearm. Only a two count for Jake, but Laredo is definitely doing his best impression of a pinata so far in the match. Laredo gets a desperation Satellite DDT, misses his big attempt, but Jake misses the Spear in the corner, La Magistral gets a 2, a few bad spots from Laredo where it looks like he missed a Satellite Facebuster and sloppy Essex or Canadian Destroyer. Laredo goes to the top, Jake bear paw slap, goes up top and Avalanche Something Bomb for the win.
The Hardys vs Ohio Versus Frankenstein (Sami Callihan & PCO)
Before the Hardys intro, the 23 thing flashes a few times again. So at least they didn’t forget that.
Sami starts with Jeff and gets in a few early shots and goads Jeff with Hardys taunts, then all four get in, throw hands and we go to commercial. We come back from commercial to Matt Delete Turnbuckling Sami, and then Poetry In Motion the classic way! A few quick tags, but Sami eventually knocks down Matt, tags in PCO, Matt’s moves aren’t very effective, Jeff throws himself in too and they get their asses beat by PCO. PCO tags in Sami, Sami slaps around Matt, drags his face across the ropes, tags PCO back in and uses PCO as a battering ram into Matt’s chest. PCO keeps Matt in their corner, tags back in Sami, some simple tandem work and a short 2 count for Sami. Sami calls PCO back in and they’re formulating a tag move, they try the Double Back Drop, but Matt turns it into a Double DDT instead.
Jeff tries to fight them both off, Sami grabs Jeff, PCO goes for the Lariat, malfunction at the junction, Whisper in the Wind mostly hits PCO so Jeff Splashes Sami. Twist of Hate, Twist of Fate, Swanton Bomb from Jeff and the Hardy Boys win!
Before the obligatory contract signing on the Go Home before a PPV, Jordynne walks over to the announce table with the contract for her match with Tessa. Says she’ll leave it with them so she can’t miss it, but hey, “if she doesn’t show up at Genesis it wouldn’t be the first time”. That’s funny.
Joe starts the promo saying he has to win, but its on him to take the title from Nic. There’s an intensity, so it’s not all cornball jokes and shenanigans. That’s kinda nice to start with. Nic takes the babyface angle of “you’re not wrong but I don’t think you’re ready yet kid”. Then he plays the JBL clip from Bound for Glory. Nic tries to use the video to clear his name because Ryan got attacked too. Joe is about to poke a hole in the defense but then Hollywood Abyss Mokuba shows up. “MY BROTHER SETO” Ryan interferes, Nic tries to stop the stupidity but Ryan plows through is about to eat a Standing Ovation but Nic Superkicks Joe to save Mokuba. Nic does stand there as the crowd chants “kick your brother”, but Nic doesn’t pull the trigger but you can tell he’s contemplating.
OH! Sexy Tessy shows up, signs the contract but Jordynne was waiting for her and leaves Tessa laying with a Grace Driver and solid intensity. Okay most of the show was kinda mid but the ending was pretty solid.
Overall Score: 6.25/10
As I said at the very end, most of this show was mid…or mediocre for the older crowd. Indie Spotfest Dumbassery to kick off the show, a few segments that made me question if I was tasting pennies, a decent match with First Class, the stalled push never relevant squad match between Jake and Laredo, and at least the main event match was fun.
The video packages always feel lackluster because the only people really watching TNA currently are hardcore fans. I never really see too many people pull the whole “whoa first TNA episode in 11 years and I decided on the random Go Home instead of the first live episode since 2015”. See, this is why logic matters in booking. WWE gets to have the mentality of “it could be someone’s first time watching it” every week because they the biggest show in town. The name alone will garner random views or transient lapsed fans if they get a whiff of something. However when it comes down to TNA, people are only surprised its still alive.
Even with many questionable hours it wasn’t terrible. It did fine…plus like I just said, there’s opportunity for more random eyes thanks to the WWE merger AND a live episode next week. So the Go Home format won’t change, but hopefully the exposure gives us more congruent storylines.
About Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)
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SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
Classic POD is WAR
Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
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Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
Coverage
Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 1.9.25
Ryan Nemeth may be my favorite cringe thing of the year so far. Let’s hope they keep running with this Mokuba angle!
Well we kicked the year off with a great episode of TNA. Only a three match card, but the segments and promos were great, Ryan Nemeth’s new gimmick is wonderful cringe and the show was just generally a fun and easy watch. Let’s hope we get more of the same this week.
Here’s to hoping that last week didn’t set the bar too high.
.@theraveneffect has ideas for @WeAreRosemary!
WATCH #TNAiMPACT on TNA+: https://t.co/Dw7ITswj28 pic.twitter.com/xVir5pHHoL
— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) January 10, 2025
Ratings:
- The System (Eddie Edwards, Dango & Brian Myers) w/Moose & Alisha vs Steve Maclin, Eric Young & Jonathan Gresham: Maclin wins via K.I.A. – ** 3/4
- Savannah Evans vs Lei Ying Lee: Lei Ying wins via Thunderstruck – ** 1/4
- The Northern Armoury Gauntlet Match: Northern Armoury vs Mike Santana: Santana wins via bad booking – zero
- The Good Hands vs The Rascalz: Rascalz win via Feed ‘Em To The Lions – **
- X Division Championship: Moose (c) vs Andrew Everett: Moose wins via Last Ride – N/A
- Rhino & Joe Hendry vs The Kaiba Boys (Ryan & Nic Nemeth): Hendry wins via Standing Ovation – ***
Results:
NEXT WEEK on #TNAiMPACT!
If @PCOisNotHuman and @TheSamiCallihan can defeat the Hardys, they’ll earn a spot in the TNA World Tag Team Championship match at #TNAGenesis!
WATCH #TNAiMPACT on TNA+: https://t.co/Dw7ITswj28 pic.twitter.com/7o7NENN5wQ
— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) January 10, 2025
The System (Eddie Edwards, Dango & Brian Myers) w/Moose & Alisha vs Steve Maclin, Eric Young & Jonathan Gresham
Eddie and Gresham kick off the action, Gresham gets a few early shots before an Eye Gouge slows Gresham down. Eddie starts firing back but a Reverse Crossbody out of the corner turns it back around for Gresham and he tags in EY. EY and Gresham double up on Eddie for a bit, Gresham even lays the boots in a bit longer and the referee has to make him stop with the 5 count. EY tries to pull Eddie to the middle, but Eddie manages to slip away and tag in Myers. A little back and forth that ends with Alisha distracting EY and The System taking a few shortcuts to finally gain a measure of control. Dango tags in, lays into EY with some basic striking offense, nothing flashy but at least effective. Myers tags back in and they start playing coy with Maclin which forces him to try and get in the ring and distracts the referee so the heels can continue the onslaught.
The isolation game is strong on EY, Myers hits a Back Body Drop, lays out Gresham on the apron, taunts Maclin, looks for the Roster Cut but gets caught by EY and Spicolli Driver from EY! EY finally tags out, Maclin comes out hot and starts beating on everyone. Thesz Press meets Dango, Eddie tries to run in but eats a Busaiku Knee, Maclin levels both System members, Backbreaker on Dango, looks for the pinfall but Myers breaks it up. All six brawl a little until Dango tries a Blindside Bulldog, but Maclin sees it coming, throws Dango into the buckles, Tree of Woe, Caught in the Crosshairs! K.I.A. and Dango is out, no break, Maclin wins!
Aftermath: System attacks the faces with Chairs, gives Gresham the old steel chair necklace and runs him face first into the post! Gresham is down, EY and Maclin run them off, but the damage is done.
Savannah Evans vs Lei Ying Lee
Xia Brookside comes out to accuse Savannah of injuring people but has the surprise of Lei Ying being back. I do like the small wink that Xia reintroduced Lei Ying Lee.
Lee comes out hot, lays into Savannah, hits a quick Crossbody that Savannah catches sloppily, Savannah tries to powder but the next few steps are sloppy looking (all on Savannah) until Lee just hits a nice Thrust Kick to rock Savannah and a few more nice high impact moves before Savannah just finally gets a chance to use her power and One Armed Sitout Powerbomb Lee. Savannah tries to keep the pressure on with the neck crank but Lee powers up, tries to go for some quick offense, looks for a Frankensteiner but Savannah blocks it and its a Speed Striker vs Powerhouse exchange where Lee just tries to stick and move while Savannah picks a few spots to dig in and counter with a big Lariat.
Savannah looks for her Full Nelson Bomb but Lee slips it with the Arm Drag counter, Savannah tries to turn around to run Lei Ying over and instead Savannah eats Thunderstuck (Trouble in Paradise) for the win.
It’s very shoehorn feeling to just have Xia say that Lei Ying was injured when it’s not like commentary even mentioned it (maybe because of Chris Bey’s legit injury) but, I’m just glad to have Lei Ying back.
TNA+ Moment of the Week: Kurt Angle vs Jeff Jarrett – NoDQ Genesis 2009
The Northern Armoury Gauntlet Match: Northern Armoury vs Mike Santana
Santana comes out first, the jabronis come out second without Josh. So we all know this isn’t going to matter until Josh shows up. This is like a Pokemon Gym but the Junior Trainers are inept morons with the skill set of a level 14 Magikarp.
Jabroni one tries to do death by 1000 cuts, Santana no sells all of his offense even with cheating, he tries some kind of Ripchord Rainmaker but Santana turns it into a Spin the Block and dude is dead. Santana beats Jabroni number 1, bald one is second…and he’s gonna do nothing worth talking about either. Remember I said I wouldn’t learn these two morons names because they are portrayed as nobodies, so no reason for me to care.
Bald Jabroni is so underwhelming we go to commercial, thank you Commercial Jesus, I didn’t want to watch a Jobber do useless things for 3 minutes to get blown up in a 20 second flurry from Santana. We come back, Santana tries for the Rolling Buck 50 but Bald Jabroni catches him into a Crucifix Bomb, but Santana powers out, Buckle Bomb, Reverse Powerbomb and Sitout Powerbomb puts the Jabroni to bed. Josh’s music hits again and he slowly walks down the ramp and looks dismayed.
Josh just has the nerd mug Santana after the bell, so its a three on one gang attack, Josh is DQ’d, so Santana technically wins. Josh punctuates the beatdown with a C4 Spike and then grabs his Headgear back from Santana. Lame finish, but when it involves two nobodies, I don’t think anyone is surprised.
The Good Hands vs The Rascalz
Wentz and Hotch start, Wentz dog walks him quick with a Tornillo out of the corner and then a little ACS Rush homage to the Machine Guns. Trey with a few shots, tags back in Wentz but a shortcut gives the Job Hands an opening. Granted, I like the Good Hands for their position in the card and they’re just a good classic heel team. They bait out Trey to distract the referee and then Double Crotch Standing whilst Wentz is in the Tree of Woe. Skyler tries to keep the pressure up, throws him into the ropes, Wentz runs by Skyler, Lethal Injection! Simultaneous tags and Trey takes out everyone, hangs Hotch on the middle rope and does this Cartwheel Spinning Rope Assisted DDT thing. It looked cool, that’s all that matters.
Skyler manages to dump Trey out, they double up on Trey, Hotch hits a Splash for two and then Wentz stops the Good Hands’ momentum with the Back Handspring Knee Lift into Feed ‘Em To The Lions!
The finish was never really a question, at least this was kinda fun coming off some awkwardness and a poorly booked gauntlet match.
.@TheEricYoung and @SteveMaclin are FURIOUS after The System’s brutal attempt to end @TheJonGresham’s career! @AJFrancis410 and @KCwrestles couldn’t care less!
WATCH #TNAiMPACT on TNA+: https://t.co/Dw7ITswj28 pic.twitter.com/inm0HIFPTr
— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) January 10, 2025
X Division Championship: Moose (c) vs Andrew Everett
Moose comes out to say he’s going to unveil a new belt a Genesis because he thinks the current X Division title is garbage. Andrew Everett randomly comes out to literally no reaction, tries to say he’s X Division and Moose ain’t the face of shit. Moose kicks his head off in what looks like Neon Green Crocs (they’re sneakers, they just look silly as hell). Moose calls for a referee and makes an impromptu title match.
Skywalker gets in a couple shots at best before Moose just has his way with him. Single Arm Powerbomb from the Buckles to the apron, another Apron Bomb, goes into the ring, Last Ride and puts a foot on his chest, easiest duel of his life. Moose wins in street clothes and barely breaking a sweat.
Jordynne comes out to call out Tessa, amusingly says that Tessa should be afraid that she has a live mic, but she won’t stoop to her level. Says a few things and then Tessa comes out of the crowd, they brawl for a little bit until broken up by security and we go to commercial.
Rhino & Joe Hendry vs The Kaiba Boys (Ryan & Nic Nemeth)
Points to the real ones who understand the Kaiba Boys reference. Oh and Kaz comes out to commentary during the commercial break.
Ryan and Rhino start, Ryan powders, plays coy and then tags in his big brother Seto, I mean Nic. Rhino turns around Nic’s early attempt at a Headlock with Arm Wringers, Should Tackles and then he eats a Dropkick from Nic. Ryan tags in, Double In and Out Wringers into Short Clotheslines for a near fall. Rhino quickly flips the script on Ryan, shoves him into his corner and tags out to Joe. Joe gets one Knife Edge Chop and then tags out, they take turns tagging in and out for Chops, Ryan tries to fire against Hendry, lays in a Chop of his own and Hendry no sells it. Lays out Ryan, Ryan tries to get away from Hendry, run the ropes and eats another Shoulder Tackle. Hendry lifts up Ryan for the Stalling Suplex as he also decides to walk around the whole ring with Ryan inverted, just toying with him. Stalling Suplex connects, Hendry tags out and Ryan turns things around Rhino pretty quick and tags out to Nic.
Nic with some of his more signature offense, Rude Awakening, Shot to the Heart Elbows, but tags back out to Ryan. Mokuba needs to get his reps in. Ryan chokes Rhino on the ropes and then tags out to Nic as they gang up on Rhino a little. Nic strings some offense together, looks for the FameASSer, but Rhino catches him, Powerbombs him and simultaneous tag time! Ryan gets dog walked early, Attitude Adjustment from Hendry, Nic tries to jump in literally, Hendry catches him, Sack of Shit, Kip Up and looks for the Standing Ovation on Ryan, but the thumb to the eye stops that. Hendry Cutter with a pinfall but Nic breaks it up. Belly to Belly from Rhino to Nic, Ryan stops Rhino from Goring Nic, so Ryan eats the Gore instead. Superkick from Nic sends Rhino reeling, Joe Lariats Nic to the outside, Standing Ovation on Ryan, Mokuba is a card.
Overall Score: 5/10
Potentially the dictionary definition of average. Some aspects of this episode were enjoyable, Xia Brookside, Lei Ying Lee, Raven, Joe Hendry, DeathMeat and KC Navarro existing. But plenty of other things to lull me to sleep or make me ask why, like why book a gauntlet match when we all know the jabronis suck and you just cock teased us with an immediate Josh DQ. Yes yes, “It sets up Genesis” – but wait – NO IT DOESN’T! It’s just like the SDL broken neck angle, there is no reason to promote a match happening just to bait and switch or ‘swerve’ the logic. It just comes off desperate because you booked yourself into a corner, and proves the booker is an imbecile.
And we didn’t get any whiny Ryan promos! How dare you ram it down our throats last week, and it was wonderful cringe, to just ignore it the next week. Stop with not knowing how to right cohesive stories. Christ on a crutch, did no one on the writing staff pass sixth grade? Or did everyone score less than a 1000 on their SAT? Because damn…I mean damn.
Write better.
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TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
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