Entertainment

Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News! (5/3/20)

Title match decisions have been made!

Published

5 years ago

May 3, 2020

Steven Mitchell

Hyrule Puro-Resu discusses the Goddess and Death Mountain Championships!

It’s been two weeks since HPW management addressed the Zelda-Sheik controversy. Her punishment was that she would be left out of the current Triforce Championship scene, but there is still another path.

Humpback Hook Halibut speaks to media.

Halibut is outside the HPW Training Center in the Zora Domain. “Thank you all for coming, and for those of you at home for tuning in. A lot has happened over the last couple of months in Hyrule Puro-Resu that has caused quite a stir.” Firstly, Halibut would like to address the situation with Zelda. He knows that everyone, especially Zelda herself, have been anxiously waiting to learn what happens next. HPW was very careful in their consideration of Zelda’s “amended” win-loss record that included her wins as Sheik in the Triforce Tournament. Zelda’s record in the Women’s Division was 2-4. Meanwhile, Zelda won Sheik’s debut, a few more matches, including the tournament qualifier, and all three matches in the Bracket of Wisdom. With the loss in the Triforce Championship Triple Threat, this makes her overall record 9-5. Ironically, Zelda’s record is still better than the champion, Link, at 8-5.

Looking closely at how matches were scheduled show that three of Zelda’s losses came after successful wins as Sheik. Zelda was putting in more work than most wrestlers, and that in itself is something to compliment her on. This also went into the decision HPW has made. Zelda will have a chance at the Goddess Championship, and will be in a #1 Contender’s match against the Black Sorceress, Cia. Despite the current focus being on the Triforce title, Cia has steadily been climbing the ranks in the Women’s Division, with a winning record of 5-2. One of those wins comes off of Zelda, but it was the same night Sheik qualified for the Triforce Tournament. Halibut and HPW will not assume Zelda sacrificed her Women’s Division record for the sake of Sheik’s record, but it does seem rather appropriate that this rematch determines the fate of the Goddess Championship.

Halibut moves on to the more recent development at the Death Mountain event.

He congratulates Groose on his championship win, but obviously the new champion didn’t let him celebrate long. Ghirahim’s attack on Groose does not constitute a championship match. HPW makes matches based on records, not behavior, and certainly not bad behavior. Ghirahim still has a strong record, but needs to earn his title opportunities.

“Oi, Hook! Hook!” New Death Mountain Champion Groose barges in through the media reporters to approach Halibut on the steps. Groose doesn’t care about all that formality, he wants Halibut to make the match for the very next event. If Ghirahim wants a fight, Groose will give him a fight. Halibut wants Groose to calm down but Groose is still heated as he holds up his title to the cameras. Halibut understands where Groose is coming from, but this is a title match. He needs to consult with other HPW officials first. Is that so? Or is it just “the Mrs.” he has to call?

Halibut glares at Groose but Groose doesn’t back down. If that’s how Groose wants to play it, then fine. Groose will defend the Death Mountain Championship against Ghirahim Mazokucho, at the June event in the Torin Wetlands in Akkala. That only gives Groose the rest of the month, so he better be ready. With that, Halibut goes inside the HPW TC, leaving Groose to deal with media. Will the Skyloft Stud regret forcing Halibut’s hand?

My Thoughts:

Things are heating up a bit, huh? I didn’t want to wait too long on this one from the “event” yesterday, it wouldn’t look good for a company to wait to address Ghirahim going after Groose, or for Groose to wait on bringing it up. That match is going to be just one of many big moments for the June article, especially now with Zelda set for a contender’s match in the women’s division. A title match and two big contender’s match really makes for the Akkala event important. I hope you, our readers, are still onboard for the adventure.

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Join Patrick O’Dowd, David Ungar, PC Tunney, Rey Cash, and DPP as they keep everyone up on all things nerd and maybe add some new nerds along the way. It’s the Bandwagon Nerds Podcast!

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Entertainment

Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (5/23/25)

What’s with all the glowing?

Published

1 week ago

May 23, 2025

Steven Mitchell

HPW Investigates: The Glowing Aura Phenomenon…

Riju, Sidon, Thunderbird, Donny B. Kool, Yunobo. Five stars of HPW have had powerful performances, but there’s something more to it… What is the reason behind this modern mystery? And could there be another?

Reviewing the timeline of events…

March 21st, the Triforce Tournament Bracket Finals

As the Gerudo Sisterhood was settling its grudge, Riju fought as hard as she could as the massive underdog against the Dame of the Dunes. Riju would survive heavy impact, begin to glow as she made her comeback, but Shabonne made sure she would lose the match. On that same night, we would see Sidon and Thunderbird each have their own moment where, after surviving heavy damage, they would begin to glow and make their comebacks. From there, Sidon and Thunderbird would win their way into the Triforce Tournament Finals at the Triforce Annivesary show.

April 1st, The Triforce Anniversary

Not only would we see Sidon & Thunderbird each bring out that same glowing energy, but Donny B. Kool would bring out that same phenomenon during the 21 Person Battle Royal. Donny held his own, but with that many opponents, winning was unlikely, and he was eliminated fifth-to-last.

May 1st, Wrestling Is Life

Yunobo won that 21 Person Battle Royal in April, and made his challenge for the HPW Death Mountain Championship. Igos du Ikana was as sharp as ever, but both men pushed each other to their limits. Yunobo powered through submissions and sharp strikes, bringing about the glowing aura, but Igos still won the match and retained the title.

So what might this all mean?

Five stars have been seen with glowing auras during the emotional heights of these matches. Or perhaps, the glowing auras are the results of these emotional heights? Could they be brought about by the “fighting spirit” within each one and in turn bring out new strength and energy? Each one of the five certainly seemed to “dig down deep” and fight like they were rising above mortal expectations.

Another detail that must be considered is the number of people who have presented this glowing aura phenomenon. Five people, with no connections between them: Riju the Gerudo; Sidon the Zora; Thunderbird the Ruto; Donny B. Kool the Gero; and Yunobo the Goron. Granted, they’re all young, and certainly leading this new generation forward. But the number itself is a point of focus. Needless to say that in Hyrule, three is the magic number, originating with the Triforce of legend. Therefore, multiples of three are also important. Five recorded phenomena, could this be a breaking of the norm? Or could there be a sixth?

Images flash on screen of the many faces on the HPW roster. Who could it be that enters the GAP?