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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News! (5/5/20)

The Dark Forces respond!

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Hyrule Puro-Resu stars have been busy on social media!

There has been so much going on in HPW, and so much to say! The Dark Forces respond to the Goddess Championship news! Plus, we hear from the Hero of Hyrule!

Cia and The Dark Forces have posted a video.

The Black Sorceress sits on an ornate armchair with her “generals,” Scorching Berserker Volga and Wizzro the Twisted Wizard, on either side of her. She caresses her scepter while frowning. “Zelda, Zelda, Zelda. That’s all I ever hear. Oh, Zelda, the Princess of Hyrule! Zelda, the daughter of Nick Foolyear! Zelda the spoiled brat who gets everything she wants!” Cia is sick and tired of Zelda getting praise and opportunities she doesn’t deserve! Zelda lied to everyone to get into the Triforce Tournament. Isn’t lying a bad thing? But her punishment is barely anything! Zelda is still in this contender’s match! If any other female wrestler did that, would they be “punished” with an alternate title opportunity? Cia doubts that.

“But it’s fine.” Cia will just beat Zelda again. And she doesn’t care what the adjusted record says, or what the schedule overlap was. To Cia, there are no excuses of “But she was Sheik~! She had another match~!” A great wrestler is a great wrestler and a loss is a loss. “And Zelda is going to lose again, because <i>that</i> is what that brat deserves!” Strong words, but will Cia back them up? Or will she be forced to eat them in the ring?

 

Triforce Champion, Link, is visiting Kakariko Village.

The Hero of Hyrule is in his hometown for a photoshoot with HPW Media. He poses with the title in front of his old high school, and shakes hands with fans among the students and staff. The principal proudly shows Link that he is now in the Kakariko Alumni Hall of Fame. Link is flattered, and a little embarrassed, as he poses for more pictures alongside his yearbook photos.

“Oi, Link! Link!” Groose walks over as Link heads to his car. He was looking all over town for his “old pal,” but never thought he’d be at a school. Groose then notices the cameras, and says HPW should get a shot of the two champions together. Link reluctantly agrees, and the two stand side by side, resting their respective title belts on their shoulders. Groose compliments Link on the nice suit and car. Well, the suit is nicer than the car, actually. Groose didn’t even think Link had a car. Or that he knew how to drive. But that’s besides the point. Groose says he wanted to check in with his old training partner, see how he was doing. Link starts to say they weren’t training partners, but Groose cuts him off by saying they should train together again some time. Groose has to get ready for his match with Ghirahim Mazokucho, and Link needs to stay sharp while waiting for a challenger.

Link starts to say something but Groose gives him a pat on the back. Groose is confident the two of them will be fine, though. Groose will beat down that “tongue flicking weirdo” and Link will be ready for either Ganondorf or Igos du Ikana. Right? Of course Groose is right. Now how about more pictures? Groose gives Link another hard pat on the back, and then holds his Death Mountain Championship up in the air. Link reluctantly does the same with his belt, and has perhaps been roped into something by the gung-ho Groose. Will training with Triforce Champion help Groose prepare for his first title defense?


My Thoughts:

Okay, similarly to my previous Hyrule Puro-Resu article, there was going to be more news pretty quickly. But also, I realized I wasn’t giving enough attention to Link. He needed to have a segment of some kind so that he wouldn’t be a completely absent champion. We’ve gotten that enough from the WWE finding ways to go back to Brock Lesnar. At the same time, I realized having Link as a pro-wrestler at all is tough, because he doesn’t really speak in the official games. His dialogue in the original April Fools’ article was based off the infamous Philips CDI games and for laughs, but how could he be a serious character? The easy solution was obviously what you just read in having Groose take care of the talking, even if it meant interrupting Link. But I don’t I’ll make another article like this before June, I’m going to be too focused on writing those three matches.

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Bandwagon Nerds #284: Mission Unlikely

The Nerds break down a tremendous Episode 8 of Daredevil: Born Again. Plus, the Sweet 16 of Villain Madness and the return of the Trailer Park!

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This week, the NERDS are back in full force, and there is no shortage of topics to discuss. Episode 8 of Daredevil: Born Again was filled with drama, surprises, and a stunning ending that left all the Nerds wondering what will happen next. After a few weeks’ absence, the Trailer Park returns to look at upcoming releases such as F1, a wild-looking sequel for M.E.G.A.N., another great-looking series on Apple TV (Murderbot), and the finale of the Mission Impossible series. Plus, we get to the Sweet 16 of Villain Madness! Which ultimate bad guys/gals punched their tickets to the Elite 8? All that and, of course Whatcha Watchin”?

  • @AttitudeAgg
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  • @ChairshotMedia
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PROWRESTLINGTEES.COM/TheChairshot – Makes a GREAT GIFT!!!

About Bandwagon Nerds

Join Patrick O’Dowd, David Ungar, PC Tunney, Rey Cash, and DPP as they keep everyone up on all things nerd, and maybe add some new nerds along the way. It’s the Bandwagon Nerds Podcast!

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Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (4/10/25)

It’s gonna be May!

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There’s been a slight change in the forecast…

There may not be a storm on the horizon, but when Wrestling Is Life, every day is unpredictable! What does HPW have planned for May Day?

 

HPW prepares for the storm ahead…

Blood & Thunder still beckons, and the Faces of Evil need to defend their HPW World Trios Championships. Therefore, Wrestling Is Life will see two qualifying trios matches! After the controversial nature of losing the titles at HyruleMania, Arrow Club is given a spot in these qualifiers. And they will be facing familiar foes in TSDQ! The Studly Don’t Quit, but will they make it through to ThunderStruck? As for the second qualifier, Los Taros Locos will return in hopes of stampeding up to the top of HPW, but they’ll be up against quite the mysterious team. Cia represents the OG Dark Forces expelled from the group, and she’ll bring her sister, Lana, with her!

But who is their third partner? They didn’t name them, so who could it be? Volga? Kevin Gibdo? Or even Wizzro? Will keeping it an unknown be the key to winning?

 

Igos du Ikana speaks.

From inside his shadowy throne room, The Ruler of Ruin looks at the HPW Death Mountain Championship on a pedestal. “The HPW Death Mountain Championship. A championship created not just to commemorate one of Hyrule’s greatest landmarks, but also to commemorate one of Hyrule’s greatest wrestling promotions. Death Mountain Wrestling was a vital part of wrestling history, where legends would pave the way for a new generation, and inspire many more. Not unlike Termina Championship Wrestling.”

Igos walks past the pedestal to look to a trophy case. Igos looks to his copy of the classic TCW Championship, and even of the High Noon Championship. There are also poster sized pictures of Igos’ greatest moments, such as the first time he won the TCW title, and the last time he held it while TCW was still active. Igos continues by saying, “I say this not because you don’t know. Of course you know this. I say this so that you might understand. I say this because I need you to understand. You have great aspirations, and strong ambition, but I don’t think you understand what you’re attempting to achieve.

“You stand at the foot of a mountain, it’s shadow upon you. That mountain’s name is legacy. You want to climb the mountain. You want to reach the top and plant your own flag at the summit. You want everyone to see you, to look up to you, to acknowledge you. But this climb is more challenging than you know. This climb is more challenging than you can handle. These belts may only be ten pounds, but they weigh so much more once you put them on. You are not ready for the climb. You are not ready to carry that weight. You are not ready to push yourself, step after step, inch after inch, as the mountain only grows steeper and steeper. And you never will be.

“So I tell you this not because you do not know. I tell you this so that you may understand. You must turn back now, find another path forward, before it is too late. Before you fall… to ruin.” It is clear who this message is for, but will young Yunobo heed this grizzled warrior’s warning?

 

HPW Deep Dive: Wisdom VS Power.

The Princess of Hyrule visits Hero of Hyrule, Link, now that he’s home from the hospital. He still needs bed rest, given everything Ganon did to him. He has bandages around his head, and his sister, Aryll, checks his stitches. 13 stitches all along the hairline. They’re holding well, no bleeding. Zelda sits with Link and holds his hand. She apologizes for what happened, but Link shakes his head. Aryll agrees, Zelda’s not to blame, Ganon and his Dark Forces are. They ruined her moment, they beat Link down, so they they have to be stopped. Ganon’s coming after the title anyway, so Zelda can get payback at the same time.

Ganon says, “Like I give a damn.” The Gerudo Ace lounges in his manor, The Dark Forces all around him. That now includes Shabonne & Tali, sporting new ensembles to reflect joining up. The Faces of Evil have their HPW World Trios Championships while Ganon has the Triforce Tournament trophy in hand. Ganon then mockingly says, “YoU dEsErVe It~! YoU dEsErVe It~!” Audio from the Triforce Anniversary event is interspliced here, as well as flashes of Zelda being emotional as she has the title belt put on.

“Isn’t it strange that Zelda takes the fall at HyruleMania, but I’m the one relegated to the tournament? And she clearly has that pointy eared little simp wrapped around her finger, or else he wouldn’t have even agreed to the match. But hey, what do I know? I only beat Link one-on-one in his first defense, then beat Zelda one-on-one in my first defense. I’m the Triple Crown Champion, I beat legends of TCW, and I’m this year’s Triforce Tournament winner. No one is more deserving of that title, of whatever title there is, than me! Isn’t that right?” The group all say, “Yeah!”

Ganon says, “The Dark Forces will be golden!” The group again shouts, “Yeah!” Ganon says, “The Dark Forces RUNS HPW!” The group again shouts, “YEAH!!” The Dark Forces all raise a glass to drink it up, while Link rests his head on Zelda’s shoulder and she rests her head on his. The Princess of Hyrule may reign, but will she fail to trump the Gerudo Ace? The countdown is on until May 1st, when Wrestling is Life!


 

About Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)

WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling) 

THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)

FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)

SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast 

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)

TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends

Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5

Classic POD is WAR


Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!

All Shows On Demand


Powered by RedCircle


Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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