Entertainment

Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (12/21/20)

HPW Media finally catches up with…?

Published

4 years ago

December 21, 2020

Steven Mitchell

Finally, HPW finds the blue haired girl from Clash of Fates!

After appearing back in October, the girl with the blue hair has been found! Who is she? Why did she go after Cia during the Hyrule Warriors match?

HPW explains the course of events.

It was October 31st that Cia was attacked by the young mystery woman during the Hyrule Warriors match, and the woman fled. Since then, HPW has been quietly working hard to identify her. Cia refused to comment, making the search difficult, but after scouring the internet’s many social media platforms, she was found! HPW reached out to her, but she didn’t respond right away. When she finally responded, she asked for a meeting with Cia. HPW contacted Cia, Cia refused, and that upset the young woman. After more negotiating through email, the young woman finally agreed to visit HPW Headquarters.

The young woman with blue hair visits HPW HQ.

The receptionist directs her to a conference room, a HPW Media camera escorts her journey to an elevator, up a few floors, and to the room. There, Humpback Hook Halibut and Nicolas Foolyere are there to meet her. They shake hands before sitting down and the camera is set on the table.

Firstly, Foolyere asks the young woman introduce herself for the record. “My name is Lana.” Why did she attack Cia at Clash of Fates? “Well, I should probably explain who I am, too. I’m Cia’s sister.” Whoa! Foolyere and Halibut compose themselves after being surprised, and continue the interview. “So then,” Halibut asks, “you attacked your own sister?” Yes. But why? Because Cia can’t be allowed to have her way. Lana’s been watching Cia lie, cheat and steal, and not in a loveable way. Lana has seen Cia does this their entire lives together, and couldn’t allow for Cia to do this on a national platform.

Lana and Cia grew up loving wrestling. They always wanted to be professional wrestlers. But they also grew up very differently. Cia fell in with a bad crowd, and that “little gang of friends” became The Dark Forces. At first it was just Cia, Wizzro and Volga, but clearly they’ve recruited others. Lana couldn’t take seeing what they were all doing to get ahead, even before being in HPW. Lana just knew they were up to something, so she made sure to be there that night. And as she watched Cia be so arrogant, Lana couldn’t help but lose her cool. She wants to apologize to HPW for jumping the rail. She isn’t a wrestler signed by them, so she was basically just a fan and she assaulted Cia. However, Lana will not apologize to Cia for what she did to her.

Well, interesting how she brought up not being an HPW wrestler. Halibut and Foolyere have a contract for her to sign! What? Really? Lana is honored that they want to sign her! She takes the contract and a pen and signs on the dotted line! She shakes hands with Halibut and Foolyere again as she hands the contract back. Halibut says, “Now obviously, we can’t get you and Cia a match for HyruleMania.” “Oh, no no no no,” Lana says back, “I wouldn’t dare dream of that!” She knows she will have to earn her way to a big moment like that. But she will do her best to prove they were right to sign her. They don’t doubt that. When and where will Lana have her HPW in-ring debut?

My Thoughts:

I admit I should’ve had something more for Lana and Cia since Clash of Fates so that we could have something for HyruleMania, but I ended up devoting a lot of time to the November event and am in the process of going big for HyruleMania. Also her character origin has to be fairly normal in HPW since her real origins from Legend of Zelda: Hyrule Warriors is a bit fantastical, even when pro-wrestling in reality have Bray Wyatt becoming The Fiend and Mark Calaway had powers as The Undertaker. But with this, I will make sure Lana and Cia have something good in 2021.

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MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

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