Entertainment

Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (12/3/20)

The Dark Forces change HPW’s plans!

Published

4 years ago

December 3, 2020

Steven Mitchell

The Dark Forces visit HPW Headquarters!?

HPW has brought back the Death Mountain Championship, and are giving Volga an opportunity at it! But then why are The Dark Forces visiting HQ?

Volga leads the way to King Nicolas Foolyere’s office.

The Burning Beserker doesn’t even care about knocking on the door as he barges in. Nicolas is upset that The Dark Forces isn’t respecting his authority as GM but Volga doesn’t care that Nicolas is upset. Volga thanks Nicolas that he was considered for the new Death Mountain Championship, but he’s not concerned about titles right now. Volga wants after Death Sword and Gomess first! They got in his way in Hebra, costing him a shot at the Termina Championship. There’s no guarantee Death Sword and Gomess won’t interfere in the ladder match, so the Dark Forces need to handle this.

Well, Nicolas is a bit surprised by that but he also does applaud Volga taking the initiative. Then, Volga is giving up his spot in the ladder match so he and the Dark Forces can have a match against Death Sword and Gomess? Yes, obviously! Alright then. But it’ll have to be a Trios match. Gomess and Death Sword will be notified and it’ll be on them to find a third partner before HyruleMania on the 31st.

Volga is fine with that, but he wants Nicolas to agree to something more. If Gomess and Death Sword can’t find a third, the match still happens as a 3v2 Handicap Match. Volga’s pretty sure Gomess and Death Sword won’t be able to find someone willing to work with them, but he doesn’t want them to use that as some kind of excuse. Nicolas reluctantly agrees to that. The paperwork will be drawn up and the match will be made official. Volga nods and leads Gibdo and ReDead away. Nicolas sighs and says, “You’re welcome!”

But now Nicolas has to find someone new to be the fifth person in the Death Mountain Championship ladder match. Nicolas sits down at his desk and grabs his desk phone. He presses a speed dial button and waits for the other person to pick up. “Hey, Halibut, it’s Nick. I just got visited by Volga, and for whatever crazy reason, he doesn’t want to be in the ladder match anymore. … I know! That’s so weird, right? But Volga aside, do you have anyone else that could be in the match in his place? … Oh, yes, that’s a great idea! Honestly, why didn’t we think of him in the first place? Alright, I’ll make that call. Talk to you later.” Nicolas hangs up on Humpback Hook Halibut and then looks through his notes for another phone number. Who is taking Volga’s place in the golden opportunity at HyruleMania?

My Thoughts:

Whoa, what a twist! Another grudge match will be part of HyruleMania! Who will Death Sword and Gomess get as their third man, brother? I’m obviously being a little cheeky about it, I of course know everything about what’s happening next! This is going to be fun!

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Entertainment

Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (5/23/25)

What’s with all the glowing?

Published

4 days ago

May 23, 2025

Steven Mitchell

HPW Investigates: The Glowing Aura Phenomenon…

Riju, Sidon, Thunderbird, Donny B. Kool, Yunobo. Five stars of HPW have had powerful performances, but there’s something more to it… What is the reason behind this modern mystery? And could there be another?

Reviewing the timeline of events…

March 21st, the Triforce Tournament Bracket Finals

As the Gerudo Sisterhood was settling its grudge, Riju fought as hard as she could as the massive underdog against the Dame of the Dunes. Riju would survive heavy impact, begin to glow as she made her comeback, but Shabonne made sure she would lose the match. On that same night, we would see Sidon and Thunderbird each have their own moment where, after surviving heavy damage, they would begin to glow and make their comebacks. From there, Sidon and Thunderbird would win their way into the Triforce Tournament Finals at the Triforce Annivesary show.

April 1st, The Triforce Anniversary

Not only would we see Sidon & Thunderbird each bring out that same glowing energy, but Donny B. Kool would bring out that same phenomenon during the 21 Person Battle Royal. Donny held his own, but with that many opponents, winning was unlikely, and he was eliminated fifth-to-last.

May 1st, Wrestling Is Life

Yunobo won that 21 Person Battle Royal in April, and made his challenge for the HPW Death Mountain Championship. Igos du Ikana was as sharp as ever, but both men pushed each other to their limits. Yunobo powered through submissions and sharp strikes, bringing about the glowing aura, but Igos still won the match and retained the title.

So what might this all mean?

Five stars have been seen with glowing auras during the emotional heights of these matches. Or perhaps, the glowing auras are the results of these emotional heights? Could they be brought about by the “fighting spirit” within each one and in turn bring out new strength and energy? Each one of the five certainly seemed to “dig down deep” and fight like they were rising above mortal expectations.

Another detail that must be considered is the number of people who have presented this glowing aura phenomenon. Five people, with no connections between them: Riju the Gerudo; Sidon the Zora; Thunderbird the Ruto; Donny B. Kool the Gero; and Yunobo the Goron. Granted, they’re all young, and certainly leading this new generation forward. But the number itself is a point of focus. Needless to say that in Hyrule, three is the magic number, originating with the Triforce of legend. Therefore, multiples of three are also important. Five recorded phenomena, could this be a breaking of the norm? Or could there be a sixth?

Images flash on screen of the many faces on the HPW roster. Who could it be that enters the GAP?