Coverage
Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (8/2/21)
GOLD~ BERG~! GOLD~ BERG~!
GOLD~ BERG~ is back again, and he wants answers!
But will MVP and Bobby Lashley give him the answers he wants to hear? Or will they continue to ice him out of the WWE World Championship scene?
OFFICIAL RESULTS
- 2v1 Handicap: Veer & Shanky w/ Jinder Mahal VS Drew McIntyre; McIntyre wins, by disqualification.
- Rhea Ripley VS Nia Jax w/ Shayna Baszler; Ripley wins.
- Mustafa Ali & Mansoor VS Mace & T-Bar; Mace & T-Bar win.
- “Doudrop” Piper Niven w/ Eva Marie VS Tamina; Tamina wins.
- Damian Priest VS John Morrison w/ The Miz; Priest wins.
- Damian Priest & Ricochet VS Sheamus & John Morrison w/ The Miz; Priest & Ricochet win.
- Matt Riddle VS Omos; Omos wins.
- Karrion Kross VS Keith Lee; Lee wins.
- WWE 24/7 Championship: Reggie VS ???; Reggie wins and retains the title.
- No Holds Barred: Nikki A.S.H. VS Charlotte Flair; Nikki wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
Bobby Lashley is here!
Though of course the All Mighty WWE World Champion would be here to open the night! He and MVP are dressed sharply as usual, too, and Chicago gives them a mixed reaction. MVP gets a mic to say, “CHI Town! Welcome back to Monday Night Raw! Where y’all been?” Now everyone is excited to see GOLD~ BERG~, but before he shows up, Lashley has asked MVP to address some things. Goldberg showed up uninvited to challenge Lashley for HIS WWE Championship. Lashley has not dignified that challenge with a response, so let’s address a few things. “Without question, Goldberg is an icon, a GOAT, a WWE Hall of Famer, still capable of annihilating any man on any given night. But you see, there in lies the problem. He didn’t challenge any man, he challenged THE ALL MIGHTY!”
Goldberg is a gladiator and he’s used to stepping into the coliseum and crushing any gladiator that stands before him. But Lashley isn’t a gladiator, he’s a KAIJU! An unstoppable monster! So MVP is here to try and stop a tragedy from unfolding. Fans chant for “GOLD~BERG~!” but MVP wants them all to listen, including Goldberg himself. If Lashley accepts this challenge, it won’t end well for Goldberg! It could be Goldberg’s final match! So Mr. Goldberg, Bill if he may, MVP asks if Goldberg wants to be remembered as a champion, or as a casualty? He asks the fans this, but Goldberg makes his entrance!
Lashley watches closely as said icon makes his way out on stage and fires himself up in the pyro! Goldberg gives his son, Gage, a quick side hug in the front row before heading into the ring. Lashley is stoic as Goldberg has a mic to call him out. “Let’s get something straight. If anybody should be worried about losing something, it’s you losing the WWE Championship.” After listening to MVP’s intro, Goldberg’s sure MVP’s nothing but scared! And the same goes for Lashley! Now, Goldberg knows what Bobby’s thinking. Bobby’s a high level athlete, a gladiator. But, high level athletes still question themselves. The gladiator still shows weakness.
So then, does Lashley think he’s up for the challenge? Because the first time he saw Goldberg walk up, he thought Goldberg was his victim. Lashley thought Goldberg was the next gladiator stepping into his coliseum. But guess what, Lashley? This ain’t YOUR coliseum! This is CHICAGO. And the fans can smell fear a mile away! Lashley either crapped his pants or he’s scared out of his mind! It doesn’t matter if Goldberg’s 35, 45 or 105, Goldberg will always be Goldberg! Goldberg lives by the Spear, and Lashley will die by the Spear! That’s why Goldberg is Goldberg. And because he’s Goldberg, at SummerSlam, Lashley’s next!
Mic drop from the icon, but what will Lashley’s response be? MVP points out Gage, Lashley walks right up to him, and tells him he’s gonna break his dad. MVP tells Gage that Lashley will end Goldberg’s career, and Gage will be crying at home. It’ll be over! Done! The career is done! But Goldberg comes back to SPEAR MVP! Goldberg and Gage leave as Lashley scrapes MVP off the ground, father warning Lashley not to mess with his son. Will much worse happen should these two clash at SummerSlam?
Drew McIntyre is on standby backstage.
He, his claymore, and Sarah wait for their cute, and the sword is almost as tall as she is! We’ll see the Scottish Warrior go into a 2v1 Handicap against Mahal’s minions, after the break.
2v1 Handicap: Veer & Shanky w/ Jinder Mahal VS Drew McIntyre!
The Modern Day Maharaja stands with his men in the ring as Raw returns, and here comes McIntyre! And he keeps his claymore, now named Angela in honor of his late mother, right with him as he storms the ring! Mahal and friends bail out, then have a quick huddle up to figure out how to handle this. Shanky’s still not 100% from how his arm is wrapped but perhaps Veer makes up for that. They go to the ring, take their time getting in, and the bell rings. McIntyre smirks as he and Veer circle, they tie up and Veer hits low. McIntyre fires off hands in the corner, CHOPS Veer then COHPS him again. McIntyre fires off haymakers, stomps but the ref reprimands. Veer throat chops!
The ref reprimands Veer now but Veer throws clubbing shots. Tag to Shanky, they both bring McIntyre across the way to POST him! Mahal applauds but fans boo as Shanky gets McIntyre up for back elbows. Shanky punches, McIntyre CHOPS! McIntyre runs but Shanky clotheslines him down! Cover, ONE! Shanky gets McIntyre up to tag in Veer. Veer runs to SPLASH, then keeps moving to BODY PRESS! Cover, TWO! Veer growls, runs, but McIntyre avoids the leaping elbow drop! McIntyre starts to seethe and fans fire up as he rallies on Veer with clotheslines! McIntyre whips and CLOBBERS Veer, then gets him up for an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly!
Veer staggers back up, swings on McIntyre but ends up in a NECKBREAKER! McIntyre kips up, taunts Shanky, then sucker punches him! Veer gets up, into a SPINEBUSTER! McIntyre wants the countdown, but Shanky anchors McIntyre’s foot! Mahal gets in with a chair to JAM and SMACK McIntyre!
Winner: Drew McIntyre, by disqualification
Mahal SMACKS McIntyre again, then Shanky gets himself a chair! They want to get the revenge for all those chair shots! McIntyre sees he’s in a bad way against three angry men with chairs, but again, he has his SWORD! And he SMACKS Mahal’s chair right out of his hands! Veer tries, but gets a GLASGOW KISS! Shanky doesn’t want anything worse than what he got, so he pleads with McIntyre to just let him leave. Shanky drops the chair as McIntyre points his sword, and then McIntyre reels back! Shanky runs away, but it was just a fake out. Team Mahal hurries backstage and Kevin Patrick asks what happened. Mahal says McIntyre is insane! He threatened their lives with that sword! But karma will come around for McIntyre, just you wait and see!
Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler speak.
The Irresistible Force says, “If you’re shocked by what you just saw, just wait until you see what I do to Rhea Ripley.” Will the Nightmare be able to survive Nia’s brutality to stay on track for SummerSlam’s Raw Women’s Championship Triple Threat?
Backstage interview with McIntyre.
Kevin Patrick asks about Mahal, Veer & Shanky being quite alarmed over McIntyre having his sword ringside. Does he care to comment? Well to be fair, he didn’t finish the job. Chicago is bloodthirsty, though, they wanted him to finish the job. And McIntyre might just do that. It’s good that Mahal gets away because then he has to think about McIntyre. Mahal has to spend the next several nights with nightmares about McIntyre. Mahal knows what’s coming and McIntyre loves it. Mahal can choose the hospital (McIntyre’s left hand), the graveyard (his right hand), or Angela. Mahal knows McIntyre enough to know that that wasn’t a threat, it was a promise! Will McIntyre get to keep that promise on the way to SummerSlam?
Rhea Ripley VS Nia Jax w/ Shayna Baszler!
The Irresistible Force is already in the ring as Rhea makes her entrance, now with sound effects. The bell rings, the two circle and they tie up. Nia shoves Rhea away and tells the fans to calm down a bit. Rhea comes back, ties up with Nia again, but Nia puts her in a corner. The ref counts, Nia lets off, and Shayna taunts Rhea. Rhea BOOTS Nia, then HEADBUTTS! But Nia stays up! She HEADBUTTS Rhea down! Nia gets Rhea up to POST her with one arm! Then she goes out to the apron to run in and HIP ATTACK Rhea into the post! Nia goes back in the ring as Rhea flop over, but Rhea kicks from below! Nia staggers but shoves Rhea away, but Rhea ducks and dodges to KICK Nia in the back!
Rhea pump handles but Nia elbows out hard, and POSTS Rhea again! Nia goes back outside, grins, runs in, but Rhea moves this time! Nia hip attacks the post! Nia tumbles down to the floor, Shayna checks on her, and Rhea goes out to aim and CANNONBALL! Nia moves, Shayna takes the shot! Nia fireman’s carries to SAMOAN DROP into the barrier! Fans boo Nia and Rhea writhes while Raw goes to break.
Raw returns and Nia has Rhea in a torture rack! Rhea endures as fans rally up, but Nia grins as she bends Rhea back. Rhea elbows free, ROCKS Nia with forearms, then gets around to LARIAT! Nia stays up so Rhea keeps throwing clotheslines! Nia swings back, Rhea gets around and CLUBS her! Then she springboard RANAS!! Rhea goes out of her usual playbook and sends Nia to a corner! Rhea runs in, is put on the apron, but she ROUNDHOUSES Nia away! Rhea climbs, aims, leaps, and missile dropkicks Nia down! Cover, TWO! The ref checks on Nia, she’s bleeding from somewhere on her face.
Rhea gets up, gets Nia up but Nia throws body shots and clubbing elbows. Nia reels Rhea in, smiles through the blood, and gets Rhea up, but Rhea fights the bomb to a sunset flip! Nia stays up, sits down, but Rhea moves! Nia lands on her butt, but she gets up to CLOBBER Rhea! And then runs to drop the leg, brother! Cover, TWO!! Rhea survives and Nia’s shock shows through that crimson mask! Nia gets Rhea up, fireman’s carries, but Rhea slips off to CLUB her! Pump handle, but Shayna distracts! Rhea gets in Shayna’s face, but senses Nia coming! Rhea dodges and rolls Nia up, and WINS!
Winner: Rhea Ripley, by pinfall
Shayna is seething and biting her thumb as Rhea snatches that one away! Nia isn’t any happier, and she argues with Shayna. Shayna gets heated and takes off her jacket! Fans fire up as the arguing gets even more heated, but then Nia laughs it off and Shayna storms up the ramp. Is that tag team finally breaking apart? But then Rhea ROUNDHOUSES Nia and gets her RIPTIDE!! The Nightmare shows no mercy, and that is a message to both Charlotte Flair and Nikki A.S.H! Will nothing stop Rhea from getting the Raw Women’s title back?
Mustafa Ali & Mansoor VS Mace & T-Bar!
The tag team debut of The Beacon & the Star of Saudi Arabia was shockingly successful, especially if you asked Ali himself. Will it be no less shocking the second time? Or will the walking, talking extinction level events get revenge?
Raw returns as Mansoor makes his entrance, followed by Ali’s. Mansoor’s still pumped, Ali still wants him to be serious, but Chicago is fired up for their hometown hero! The bell rings, Mansoor and Mace start, but T-Bar swipes at Mansoor. Mansoor is distracted, and Mace CLOBBERS ALI! Mansoor realizes he’s alone but he fires off on Mace! Mace knees and whips Mansoor to the corner but Mansoor fights back! Only to get a LEG LARIAT! Tag to T-Bar, he goes out to CLOBBER Ali and turn him inside out! Mace scoops and SLAMS Mansoor, T-Bar springboards in for an ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO!! Mansoor survives but T-Bar gets him back up.
T-Bar drags Mansoor into position and gets him up, but Mansoor slips out of the bomb to ENZIGURI! Ali drags himself up the corner, fans fire up for him and Mansoor crawls, hot tag to Ali! Chicago’s own fires off a dropkick on Mace, a BOOT to T-Bar, but T-Bar roars! T-Bar runs in but Ali slips out to ROUNDHOUSE! And somersault NECKBREAKER! Fans fire up as T-Bar bails out. Ali builds speed, as does Mansoor, DOUBLE DIVES! Ali takes out T-Bar at the ramp while Mace is sent onto the announce table! And Ali only notices just now! And he starts to like the cohesion! But then T-Bar shoves Ali into the apron then into the ring!
Mansoor hurries around the way but T-Bar BOOTS him! Ali gets T-Bar in the ropes with a TILT-O-WHIRL DRAPING DDT!! Ali wants Mansoor to get in, the tag is made, Mansoor gets T-Bar into the drop zone, only for T-Bar to boot him! Mansoor hits ropes and trips Ali up! Ali crashes down and Mansoor panics. Mansoor hurries up top, but Mace returns to distract! T-Bar YANKS Mansoor down then KNEES Him! CYCLONE KICK!! Cover, T-Bar & Mace win!!
Winners: Mace & T-Bar, by pinfall
Ali gets back up and starts berating Mansoor, but T-Bar & Mace slither back into the ring! They stalk up behind Ali, and he sighs. He shoves Mansoor out of the ring to save him?! Ali alone takes HIGH JUSTICE!! Mansoor crawls back in to check on his teammate. They didn’t win, but given what Ali just did there, is there a friendship starting to grow?
Charlotte Flair heads to the ring!
Before having it out with Nikki A.S.H. in No Holds Barred, the Queen is here to speak her mind. “A few days ago, I woke up to a headline that read, ‘Simone Biles withdraws from the Olympics.’ And I couldn’t help but take a second to think to myself, ‘Why would the greatest gymnast of all time not want to go for the gold anymore?’ And later I discovered it was for mental health concerns.” The more Charlotte learned, the more she couldn’t help but empathize. Now, Charlotte is going somewhere with this so hang on. Two weeks ago, at Money in the Bank, Charlotte defeated Rhea Ripley. Also Becky’s not here, CHARLOTTE sold out the arena. Yes, it’s true.
As she was saying, two weeks ago at MITB, she beat Rhea. Then the next night, Nikki cashes in the MITB contract and illegitimately won- No, STOLE Charlotte’s title! Now Charlotte has been in this business a long time, and when she woke up the next morning, she couldn’t help but think, “What the hell is going on?! I am near a breaking point! I am going to have my own nervous breakdown!” Because Charlotte is the ELEVEN TIME (13 if you count NXT) Women’s Champion!! Do you want to know what that makes her? The most decorated woman in the HISTORY of this business!
Charlotte starts going outside the ring as she says she believes, as she believes the fans believe, that cashing in the MITB contract “is the most cowardly way to win a title in this business!” It is not competition, it is THEFT! Charlotte takes a moment to look under the ring. She brings out a kendo stick and says, “Oh yes, I’m gonna beat Nikki Cross with this.” And then a broom?! And ever since the inception of the Women’s MITB Contract, Charlotte’s been cashed-in on not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES! Charlotte caps this off by adding a chair to her collection. It seems like cashing in on Charlotte is the only way women make a name for themselves anymore!
Charlotte goes back into the ring and recounts how she wanted a 1v1 match to show her superiority to the aspiring, wannabe almost superheroes. And when Charlotte won, Nikki had the audacity to say she could still beat Charlotte?! So that’s why she shook Nikki’s hand to then sucker punch her down! The champion is gullible, but the only thing people love more than a champion is a martyr! And Nikki A.S.H. Cross is going to be both! She will be sacrificed in their NHB match! No disqualifications, no count-outs, no hiding from Charlotte. “Anything goes tonight.”
But wait, Nikki is here and she SMACKS Charlotte with the very chair Charlotte brought out!! The Almost a Super Hero gets the drop on the Queen, but will she drop the Queen and prove her point? Can Nikki finally beat Charlotte Flair in a full-on battle?!
Backstage interview with Eva Marie and “Doudrop” Piper Niven at gorilla position.
Kevin Patrick wants to ask something before they have their match. Natalya sustained an injury in the tag match last week, have they heard any updates? Eva cuts off Piper to say, “Who cares about Natalya’s injury? What we should be concerned about is that disgusting smear campaign by Alexa Bliss and that ugly little doll.” How dare Alexa disparage the #EvaLution has accomplished? Take Doudrop, for instance. Before Eva came along, Doudrop was probably some scared, lonely girl living on a farm. Wait, where is she from again? Scot- Actually, it doesn’t matter. The point is, look at her now! And honestly, Kirk, what the hell is the “Lillylution” supposed to be, other than gross?
Last week, Natalya paid the price for getting in the way. Now, so will Tamina. The music hits and the EvaLution heads out. Will Tamina make Eva eat those words while Piper pays the price?
“Doudrop” Piper Niven w/ Eva Marie VS Tamina!
Raw returns as Tamina makes her entrance. The bell rings, Eva gives Piper a high-ten for luck, and then Piper ties up with Tamina. They’re in a deadlock so they break and circle. They tie up again, Piper headlocks, but Tamina powers out. Piper rams Tamina, Tamina comes back and runs Piper over! Tamina fires up and dares Piper to get up. Piper does, and Tamina CLOHTESLINES her in the corner! Tamina runs in to HIP ATTACK! Tamina drags Piper to a drop zone and she climbs up! Eva gets on the apron to distract but Tamina steps and scares Eva! Eva says she was just kidding! But then Piper POSTS Tamina!
Piper gets Tamina in the ropes to CLUB her down! Eva applauds Piper as Piper uses the ropes to springboard ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO! Piper keeps her focus as she keeps on Tamina with a chinlock. Tamina endures, fights up and throws elbows. Piper throws Tamina by her hair! Piper stomps Tamina, runs, and BACK SENTONS! Cover, TWO! Piper and Eva are both frustrated but Piper gets Tamina back up for a seated cobra clutch! Tamina endures, fights up again, and throws body shots, but Piper whips her to a corner. Piper runs in but into a BOOT! Both women are down and Eva panics!
Tamina and Piper slowly get up and Piper throws a haymaker. Tamina hits back, they brawl, Piper shoves Tamina away but Tamina comes back to CLOBBER Piper! Piper staggers to a corner, Tamina runs in to uppercut! Tamina aims but Piper blocks the superkick to kick Tamina’s legs out! Eva then distracts Piper by telling her to go for the crossbody. Piper runs and does go for the crossbody, but Tamina moves! Piper FLOPS, and Tamina gets her up for a SAMOAN DROP! Cover, Tamina wins!
Winner: Tamina, by pinfall
Eva is furious that “Doudrop” lost, but it was her fault for thinking she had to tell Piper what to do! Eva scolds Piper for not listening to her, and then Alexa Bliss laughs from the titantron. “And the loser of this match is EVA~ MARIIIIIIE~!” Alexa mocks Eva again and Eva is even more upset now! Will Eva throw a fit if things keep going wrong for the EvaLution?
Matt Riddle scoots up to Damian Priest backstage.
Sup, padre! New scooter! Omos broke the original, but this stallion was still in the stable. It’s kinda like when Riddle had goldfish and take them to the beach, but then he’d lose them. But then, when he got home, Swim Shady would still be in the tank. Know what he’s saying? Yeah… But is Riddle not worried Omos won’t just broke this one, too? If he was alone, sure. But Riddle has “the power of Randy Orton” coursing through his veins! He has so many voices in his head, he can’t even keep track. Priest believes that. So Riddle’s ready, but also congrats on Priest’s win over Sheamus.
Though, wait, shouldn’t he be out partying, though? Like in the hot tub, with champagne and ladies, instead of going on MizTV? Yeah, usually, but to be honest, Priest got his partying in at Lollapalooza. As for MizTV tonight, Priest’s handled those clowns before, we all remember. But if there are any shenanigans with that whatever stick, Priest will make sure Morrison gets a wheelchair just like The Miz’s. Aw yeah! Good luck out there, bro! Riddle scoots away, will Priest be able to handle whatever Miz ‘n’ Morrison have planned? Speaking of which…
The Miz & John Morrison head to the ring!
The Hollywood A-Lister and Johnny Drip Drip have those very Drip Sticks to SQUIRT SQUIRT and make it rain! Byron Saxton is already on guard as Raw goes to break!
Raw returns and Miz welcomes us to the Most Must-See WWE Talk Show, MizTV, and notes the long history with their guest tonight. Bygones can’t be bygones so easily as Miz welcomes Damian Priest! The Archer of Infamy makes his entrance, goes to the ring, and Morrison wants the “dry amigo” to know this is a #SplashHoleFreeZone. Keep your mouth shut or Morrison will moisten you up! Miz asks John, “Who is the man responsible for putting me in a chair?” Priest. Correct! Who is the man taking advantage of the injured as of late? Priest. Cooorrect! And who is the cheater who ripped Sheamus’ mask off to win last week? PRIEST! COOOOOOOOORRECT!!
Priest asks if these guys are out of their minds. Listen, Sheamus was medically cleared to wrestle. He wore a mask, did what he was supposed to do. And to his credit, Sheamus fought with that injury. That’s badass in Priest’s book, unlike these two. Speaking of which, what is actually wrong with Miz’s knee? Miz is offended but Priest cuts him off by asking, “Are you ever gonna wrestle again?” No, wait, is it to the legs, or maybe more between them? Miz is stunned as he says, “How. Dare. You!” Miz has been in this business for 16 YEARS, and never been injured! One match with Priest, and this happens! Miz can’t even stand! If Miz wasn’t in this chair, he’d smack the taste out Priest’s mouth!
Then do it! Yeah, just like Priest thought. Priest’s dealt with so many people like Miz. When Priest worked at the nightclubs, so many guys would walk in, run their mouths, act like bullies, and then Priest put them in their place. And now that he’s in the WWE, Priest gets to do that in front of every single fan. What was that, ese? Morrison aims the Drip Stick but Miz has him stand down. Morrison says Priest is disrespecting two legends right now! The Drip Stick and Miz’s wheelchair will be in the Museum of Modern Moistness, because kids all around the world dream of growing up to be as half as cool as them! The fans immediately refute that.
Priest is flabbergasted! Estas loco?! There’s not one kid that wants to be second-fiddle. Right, Johnny Sidekick? And while we’re at it, there ain’t a kid who wants to be a loud mouth jackass who uses anyone to get ahead, including his best friend. Watch what you say, Priest, or else! Or else what? “The wet don’t forget, bro.” Morrison will make Priest regret ever saying anything bad about them! What is wrong with these two?! Priest was going to call out Sheamus but he’s pissed off. He’ll fight Morrison here and now in Chi Town! Oh well you’re about to find out that the wet guy’s the best guy! Cuz Morrison ‘n’ Miz are gonna have the last splash! Miz aims the Drip Stick, but Priest plugs it up!!
Priest tosses the Drip Stick but Morrison gets a cheap shot in! Morrison swings on Priest again, but gets a BELL CLAP for it! Priest throws Morrison out, and Miz panics as he’s all alone! Miz can’t get his chair moving fast enough, and Priest gets the Drip Stick! Miz gets stuck in a corner, and gets SQUIRT SQUIRT! Miz finally gets his Drip Stick out but Priest snatches it to SQUIRT SQUIRT Miz again! And again! And then he dumps the bucket on him!! Chicago fires up as Miz’s rose pink suit is soaked! Will Priest make Johnny Drip Drip dry up after the break?
Damian Priest VS John Morrison w/ The Miz!
Raw returns and it’s happening! The bell rings and Miz is furiously ranting to commentary while Morrison circles with Priest. Morrison shoots in, gets Priest’s leg, and avoids the long arms to kick said leg. Priest ends up in a corner, Morrison SLAPS him, so Priest reels back to BOOT him down! Priest runs corner to corner to back elbow! And then suplex, but Morrison slips out to shove Priest at a corner., Priest goes up and out to GAMANGIRI! Priest climbs the ropes to leap and LEG DROP! Cover, TWO! Miz barks at Priest but Priest just smirks as he ROCKS Morrison! Priest whips Morrison, Morrison cartwheels over Priest’s back!
Morrison fakes Priest out with one kick to hit another! And get Priest with a KNEE on the way down! And then a mule kick! Cover, TWO! Morrison keeps on Priest with a ground ‘n’ pound but Priest shoves him away. Morrison comes back to facelock and grind Priest down. Morrison then hooks Priest’s arm with legs, turns him sideways and has a unique submission hold. Morrison poses while grinding the shoulder, but Priest fights with knees! Priest is free, Miz is upset, and Morrison slowly gets up. Priest is in a corner, he back elbows Morrison away! Morrison comes back but Priest clubs his forearm shot down!
Priest KICKS and KICKS and ROLLING ELBOWS Morrison, then CLOBBERS him on the rebound! Fans fire up with Priest as he goes to the corner. Priest climbs, Miz has a Drip Stick and SQUIRT SQUIRT!! Morrison ROCKS Priest off the top with a forearm! Morrison gets Priest on the apron but Priest fights back. Morrison kicks low, fireman’s carries, but Priest resists by holding ropes. So Morrison uses that for a TUMBLING SAMOAN DROP?! Priest ends up in the drop zone, Morrison goes to the corner, STARSHIP- No! Priest yanks him down and choke grips! SOUTH OF- NO! Morrison wheelbarrows to a victory roll, TWO!!
Morrison keeps going, SHINING WIZARD! STANDING SHOOTING STAR! Cover again, TWO!! Priest is still in this and Morrison is furious. Morrison gets Priest up, but Priest ROCKS him with a right! Morrison rebounds to BOOT, then keeps going, only for Priest to bock Flying Chuck! Canadian rack, CLIFFHANGER DDT!! Priest isn’t done there, choke grip to SOUTH OF HEAVEN CHOKE SLAM!!! Cover, Priest wins!
Winner: Damian Priest, by pinfall
Miz is speechless! A rare sight, all thanks to the Archer of Infamy! But then SHEAMUS attacks! The Fella is furious from last week, he and Priest brawl it out! Sheamus knees, clubs, Morrison anchors Priest, but here comes RICOCHET! The King of Flight still wants to get even and he springboards to missile dropkick Sheamus down! Morrison gets a FLAPJACK from Priest! Morrison and Sheamus bail out, Priest and Ricochet fist bump. Will things escalate between the Celtic Warrior and his many enemies?
Damian Priest & Ricochet VS Sheamus & John Morrison w/ The Miz!
Holla holla holla! It seems Sonya Deville called upon the powers of Teddy Long for this one, and now the Archer of Infamy continues to fight! He and Sheamus brawl as this match is already underway! Priest ROCKS Sheamus, whips, but Sheamus reverses! Priest holds ropes, boots Sheamus away, and Ricochet tags in to springboard CROSSBODY! Ricochet fires off hands, Sheamus knees low and whips Ricochet, but Ricochet ducks to springboard CROSSBODY again! Ricochet keep smoving to PENALTY KICK Sheamus, then springboard TRIANGLE DROPKICK to Morrison! Ricochet fakes Miz out to LIONSAULT onto Sheamus! Cover, TWO!!
Ricochet keeps cool even after all that, and he runs at Sheamus in a corner. Ricochet RAMS into Sheamus and slips out to the apron. Morrison rushes him but Ricochet DECKS him! Miz is worried for Morrison, Sheamus BOOTS Ricochet! And then Miz suddenly starts making Drip Stick oil slicks? Morrison tags in, fetches Ricochet, and Miz moves aside so Morrison can SLIP ‘N’ SLIDE Ricochet into steps! Morrison puts Ricochet in the ring, covers, TWO! Morrison wraps Ricochet up in a chinlock, tags Sheamus back in, and they mug Ricochet with heavy hands. But Ricochet still fights with forearms! Sheamus knees low then hits an IRISH CURSE BACKBREAKER!
Sheamus sits Ricochet up to fire off clubbing forearms! Sheamus drags Ricochet up to CLUB him hard in the back. Ricochet throws back elbows over and over and fans fire up! Elbow after elbow, it never seems to end! Ricochet stops and fires up, but Sheamus CLUBS Ricochet again! Ricochet still ROCKS and ENZIGURIS Sheamus back! Morrison tags in, rushes Ricochet, but Ricochet switches super fast to GERMAN SUPLEX! Both men are down and fans rally up! Hot tag to Priest! Priest rallies on Morrison and Sheamus with big shots! BOOT for Morrison but Morrison mule kicks back. MOON- NO! Priest turns that into an Alabama lift, swinging BACKBREAKER!!
Priest gets Morrison up, ANOTHER SOUTH OF HEAVEN CHOKE SLAM!! Cover, Sheamus breaks it! Sheamus gets Priest up, but Priest ducks the clothesline to HEEL KICK Sheamus! Sheamus teeters on the ropes, Priest CLOBBERS him out of the ring! Ricochet adds on with the ARIHARA MOONSAULT! Fans are thunderous but Morrison catches Priest to a cradle! TWO, and Priest punches Morrison’s roundhouse away! Dragon sleeper, to THE RECKONING!! Cover, Priest & Ricochet win!
Winners: Damian Priest & Ricochet, by pinfall
Miz is about to explode over this! But Priest #HitTheLights on Johnny Drip Drip, and now heads straight for Sheamus and the US Championship. Will the Celtic Warrior need more than his face mask to protect his title reign now?
Lashley is pacing backstage.
Obviously, he is still fuming over what happened to MVP earlier tonight, and MVP is still clutching his gut from where Goldberg got him. But after the break, we finally get Lashley’s true response to Goldberg’s challenge!
Raw returns and Sarah interviews Lashley backstage. MVP tries to cut her off but his gut holds him back. Sarah continues to ask how Lashley is going to respond to Goldberg. Lashley says Goldberg brought his son to watch tonight, so Lashley hopes Goldberg brings his son to Las Vegas so he can watch Lashley ANNIHILATE Goldberg! Then that’s a yes?! We are getting Lashley VS Goldberg for the WWE World Championship?! We are!! Will this battle of gladiator and All Mighty be more like Godzilla VS King Kong?!
Matt Riddle VS Omos!
Bro… Riddle is ready to avenge his baby blue stallion, as well as the phenomenal beatdown the Raw Tag Team Champions gave him right after. Kevin Patrick interviews Omos at gorilla about said destruction of property, what can we expect in the ring? “Riddle’s scooter came first. Riddle’s spine comes next.” Menacing words from the mountain of a man, and he makes his entrance with his own theme song! Will Omos commemorate this special occasion by crushing Riddle’s body and spirit?
But Riddle doesn’t wait for a bell, he jumps on Omos’ back! Riddle wants a sleeper but Omos claws at him, and THRWOS him down! Then palms Riddle’s face and SHOVES him to a corner! The ref has Omos back off and Omos grins as he watches Riddle get up. Fans rally for “RID~DLE!” as the Original Bro gets back up. The bell rings, Omos rushes in but Riddle dodges! Riddle comes right back to forearm smash! Riddle keeps going, another forearm smash! And then another! Riddle keeps going, but Omos choke grips and SHOVES Riddle out of the ring! Omos goes out after him as a ring count begins, and Omos TOSSES Riddle into the timekeeper’s area!
Fans boo, Omos leaves Riddle for dead, and the count continues to 5 of 10! Riddle drags himself up at 7, flounders over at 8, and gets in at 9.9!! Only for Omos to get him up and HEADBUTT him! Riddle flops to the apron, Omos runs and BLASTS Riddle off it! Riddle hits the floor and is almost back at the timekeeper’s area! Omos glares at the ref, and the ref starts the ring count. Riddle drags himself back but we’re at 5 of 10 again. Riddle uses the announce desk to prop himself up at 7, staggers over at 8, drags himself up at 9 and Omos grabs him! Riddle shoulders in, slingshots up and over, and runs to FINAL FLASH! And again! But OMs is still up!
Riddle dodges Omos to FLYING FINAL FLASH! But Omos comes back to CLOBBER Riddle!! Fans boo as Omos looms over Riddle and talks trash. Omos dead lifts Riddle with one arm, then gets both hands on Riddle for the TWO HAND SLAM!! Cover, Omos wins!
Winner: Omos, by pinfall
Never before has such a valiant effort felt like such futility! The scooter is left alone, but will Riddle be able to even walk out of Chicago?
Alexa Bliss and Lilly are on the Playground.
Hello, friends, and welcome back! Did you know that Lilly has been thrilled over how the #LillyLution’s been going? But y’know, Lilly’s actually been influencing people for a long time. There was Jack the Ripper, Zodiac, and- Piper Niven attacks from behind!!? Eva smugly chuckles as she saunters into view. She picks Lilly up and says, “You are so much yuckier and uglier and gross in person.” Eva says this is EvaLution. She and Piper leave, but then Lilly stands up on her own?!
Karrion Kross VS Keith Lee!
The NXT Champion and the Limitless One battled it out last week, but this is far from done! Will Keith #FallAndPray all over again? Or will he finally cancel the apocalypse?
Raw returns and Keith makes his entrance. The bell rings and the two tie right up! They go around, end up on ropes, in a corner, and then more ropes. Fans chant for “NXT!” because Chicago remembers this feud. They finally stop in a corner, the ref counts, and Keith lets off slowly but cleanly. To then fire off body shots and forearms! Keith lets off to put Kross’ arms in the ropes, and GRIZ- NO! Kross remembers, too, and he blocks the double chop! Kross turns things around to stomp away! The ref counts, Kross stops at 4, but Keith clinches! Kross fights free with elbows but Keith gets him again. Kross keeps fighting, gets free again, and whips, only for Keith to reverse and run Kross over!
Keith runs Kross over again, then runs in at the corner. Kross dumps Keith out!? But Keith stays on the apron by holding the ropes! Kross runs in but Keith bumps him off buckles! Then Keith SLINGSHOT CROSSBODIES! Fans fire up while Kross sputters and gasps! Keith smirks as he watches Kross get up in the corner. Keith heads over but Kross BOOTS him! Kross fires off haymakers but Keith stays up. Kros reels Keith in for an EXPLODER into the corner! Kross scowls and goes outside, and he drags Keith out to join him. Kross brings Keith around to EXPLODER into the steel steps!! Fans go nuts and the ring count climbs as Raw goes to break!
Raw returns as Keith throws body shots. Kross knees low, Keith staggers to a corner, and Kross runs in to clothesline, back elbow, and DISCUS! Keith staggers and shoves Kross away, but Kross grins. Kross reels Keith in but Keith wrenches. Kross dodges the clothesline and runs to CLOBBER Keith! Cover, TWO! Kross grows frustrated but the fans continue to rally behind Keith. Keith crawls to a corner, Kross runs in, but Keith elbows him away! Kross grins again and runs back in, but into a boot! Kross staggers and scowls now, he runs in again but Keith sends him into buckles! Keith throws counter punches, big haymakers and back elbows, then a HEADBUTT! And a SPLASH!
Keith keeps Kross cornered to then GRIZZLY MAGNUM! Kross winces as he can’t breathe! Keith powers up and Chicago fires up with him, Keith runs to POUNCE Kross down! Fans are thunderous as Keith powers up more, and they lend him their energy! Keith gets Kross up but Kross spins out to reel Keith in. Keith blocks the suplex, even as Kross keeps trying, and Keith CLUBS him with an elbow! But Kross hammerlocks that arm to then ROCK Keith with a forearm to the back of his head! Kross says that’s it, and he puts on the KROSSJACKET!! Keith endures and has a hand in the gap! Keith is prying the hold apart and fans are thunderous!
Kross tries to tighten his grip but Keith blocks the other arm! Keith powers up to throw Kross off!! And then pop him up, for a SPIRIT BOMB!!! Cover, Keith wins!!
Winner: Keith Lee, by pinfall
Finally and emphatically, the Limitless One gets his win back from the apocalypse! Chicago is exhilarated to #BaskInHisGlory, is this a new beginning for Keith Lee?
Backstage interview with Rhea Ripley.
Kevin Patrick congratulates Rhea on her win over Nia, and asks if she’ll be watching tonight’s main event given it has her SummerSlam opponents. Rhea knows her match was brutal, but also knows it was nowhere near as brutal as a No Holds Barred match. Anything goes, from weapons to fighting dirty. So yeah, she will be watching. And again, she hopes Nikki beats Charlotte. But nothing changes the fact that at SummerSlam, in that Triple Threat, Rhea walks out champion. Just how badly will Nikki and Charlotte beat each other up in the main event?
WWE 24/7 Championship: Reggie VS ???
No longer “Reginald” and apparently no longer French (or rather, he never was French?), Reggie is ready to again defend this title in the most unusual place: the ring! Will Reggie keep hold of this title, even though he doesn’t know who’s challenging him?
Raw returns and now we learn his challenger is Akira Tozawa! The Stamina Monster was the one Reggie took the WWE 24/7 Championship from, will he be able to take it back? The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and Reggie shows off his moves. But then Tozawa shows off his moves? Is this becoming a dance-off? No, they tie up and Tozawa waistlocks. Reggie switches, Tozawa switches back but Reggie slips under and through the legs! Reggie ducks a kick, then goes Matrix! Reggie fakes Tozawa out into going Matrix, and when Tozawa stands back up, BOP! Tozawa ends up at the ropes, Reggie runs in but is dumped out, only to land on the apron!
Tozawa swings on Reggie but Reggie flips away! Fans marvel at Reggie’s agility! Reggie goes to the barrier and taunts Tozawa, but Tozawa runs out after him! Only to get barriers! Reggie plays cat ‘n’ mouse, and Tozawa clips rope with his face! Reggie goes back to the ring and makes sure Tozawa is okay. Tozawa throws a body shot! Tozawa whips but Reggie CORKSCREWS up and over him! Reggie shows punch and Tozawa shouts “STOP~!” Tozawa wants a breather, and then uses his NINJA POWER~! But it whiffs as Reggie back flips over him! And then handsprings to a back elbow! Direct hit and Reggie rolls right to his feet, to hit the 450 SEATED SENTON! Cover, Reggie wins!
Winner: Reggie, by pinfall (still WWE 24/7 Champion)
Cirque du Soleil has nothing on Reggie! He wins, keeps the belt, and rolls on! Will anyone ever capture this charismatic chameleon?
Backstage interview with Nikki A.S.H!
Kevin Patrick asks Nikki if it was wise to challenge Charlotte to a No Holds Barred match? Has she ever been in such a potentially dangerous match? Nope, not really. And while Nikki isn’t sure what to expect, Charlotte didn’t expect Nikki to do what she did earlier tonight. That’s part of being almost a superhero. You don’t know what to expect, but you just have to give it your absolute best. Charlotte beat Nikki, and Nikki asked for the rematch, because she has the confidence she can win! If she does, she’ll finally prove to the entire world that if you believe in yourself, you can be Almost a Super Hero!
The Raw Women’s Champion hears her music and heads out! Nikki may want the power of flight, but will she find she has the power of invulnerability?
No Holds Barred: Nikki A.S.H. VS Charlotte Flair!
Raw returns as The Queen makes her entrance. For some reason the belt is being raised? The bell rings and Charlotte tells Nikki she’s in over her head. The fans duel between “WOO~” and “Let’s Go Nikki!” as Nikki shakes her head. Charlotte rushes in, Nikki dodges, Nikki comes back to CROSSBODY and fast hands! Charlotte shoves her away but Nikki dodges again, only to run into a kitchen sink KNEE! Charlotte bounces Nikki off buckles, runs in but Nikki dodges! Nikki runs back in, into a backbreaker and BUCKLE SHOT! “THIS is your superhero?!” Charlotte is still upset over that as she throws Nikki out of the ring.
“You think you can just cash in on me?! No more cashing in on me!!” Charlotte tears the announce desk apart and commentary gives her space. Charlotte throws a monitor! It misses, but she grabs another one! Charlotte throws it down in a huff, and Nikki fires off forearms! Charlotte DECKS Nikki then hammers away on her! Fans want tables, so Charlotte brings one out! And she stands it up against the apron, BOOTS Nikki down, then gets Nikki up for a scoop. Nikki slips off and POSTS Charlotte first! Nikki hurries after Charlotte to fire off forearms but Charlotte DECKS her again! Charlotte CLUBS and pushes Nikki around, then gets her up just to slap her down!
Rhea is watching, just as she said she’d be, as Charlotte talks more trash to Nikki. “You think you’re a champion, dressed like that?!” Charlotte stomps Nikki, kicks her around, then CHOPS Nikki. Nikki KICKS back, Charlotte CHOPS, repeat, but then Charlotte BOOTS Nikki down! Charlotte gets Nikki back up to EXPLODER! Nikki ends up all the way back at the other corner! Charlotte glares, aims, and runs at Nikki, and SPEARS her through the timekeeper’s barriers!! Charlotte is rabid and so are the fans as Raw goes to break!
Raw returns once more and Charlotte RAMS Nikki into a corner! And then RAMS her shoulder in, then CHOPS Nikki down! The table has moved into the ring, too. Charlotte puts Nikki up top on the corner, she climbs up and fires off forearms, but Nikki hits back! They brawl, Nikki sends Charlotte down, and then leaps! But the crossbody FLOPS! Charlotte runs to BOOT Nikki down! And then covers, but lets up!? Charlotte wants to make Nikki suffer, even more than she already has! Charlotte gets Nikki up, shoves her and BOOTS her down again! Cover, but again Charlotte lets Nikki off! The Queen has reached a new level of sadism!
Charlotte goes outside the ring, looks underneath, and brings out chairs! Charlotte has one as she gets on the apron, but Nikki WRECKS her with a dropkick into the chair! Nikki fires up as Charlotte staggers up, and Nikki reels her in for a TORNADO DDT to the floor! Rhea likes that, and likes it as Nikki CLUBS away on Charlotte’s back! But Charlotte CHOPS back, and CHOPS again! And CHOPS! Nikki KICKS, Charlotte forearms, repeat, Charlotte tosses Nikki over the barriers, into the front row of fans! Charlotte soaks up all the heat as she continues to say no one will ever cash in on her again.
But Nikki’s on the barrier! Nikki LEAPS, but Charlotte catches her! And POEWRBOMBS her through the announce desk! Chicago goes nuts as they finally get a table spot! The ref checks on Nikki and has Charlotte stay back. Charlotte keeps muttering to herself that she’s the champion and no one will ever cash-in on her again. Charlotte gets Nikki up and says, “There are no easy ways in this business!” Nikki is here because of Charlotte! Charlotte drags Nikki’s limp body back to the ring, hauls her up and in, then takes her time going up the steps. Charlotte takes her time dragging Nikki to center, and stands on her for a cocky cover. TWO?!?!
Charlotte is stunned! How is Nikki still in this?! Charlotte is enraged and she KICKS Nikki in the side! Nikki is on the brink of tears, but she also grits her teeth and pushes herself up off the mat. Charlotte aims, vows this will end it, and runs in, but Nikki moves! Charlotte Spears herself THROUGH THE TABLE!! Nikki crawls, covers, TWO!?!? Now Charlotte stuns Nikki! But fans know “This is Awesome!” as Nikki still has a chance! Nikki scowls at Charlotte, gets her up through the ropes, and hits a DRAPING SWINGING NECKBREAKER!!! Cover, Nikki wins!!
Winner: Nikki A.S.H, by pinfall
The return of Nikki Cross’ Anarchy is what helped this Almost Super Hero finally take down The Queen! Chicago celebrates with the champion, and it is rightfully deserved! But after such an epic battle, is it even possible to repeat this at SummerSlam?!
My Thoughts:
This episode was truly an emotional roller coaster. Chicago is always a rowdy crowd, but this was without a doubt the rowdiest they’ve been in a looong time. A bit fickle in a way, too. They’d “CM Punk!” segments that were honestly really good, and then snap back to actually caring when and only when things crossed into awesome. But the crowd is the crowd, not the show. In the show, there was a hilarious technical glitch where the opening B-roll didn’t have visuals, and then we got a clunky second part to Goldberg challenging Lashley.
Well, no, MVP and Lashley were smooth, Goldberg was clunky. I think he lost his train of thought and just copied a lot of what MVP said about gladiators and coliseums and all that. Also, no one is who they used to be at 105! What a dumb line… I have said I’m not behind Lashley VS Goldberg happening, and this made me less so. Goldberg stumbles in his promo, then Lashley & MVP honestly do pull a punk move trying to get in the face of Gage, Son of Goldberg. If you’re not afraid of the old part-timer, why resort to the lowest level of bullying? This is all just the worst way to do this kind of story, regardless of when and where in the world it happened.
I don’t want to mix messages, but there’s a lot to unpack with McIntyre’s segment. On one hand, much love to McIntyre for immortalizing the memory of his mom through the sword. They’ve been saying it’s a family heirloom, and now it is, in a way. But to that other hand, Mahal should’ve just attacked at the bell so that they don’t even bother with the Handicap Match and try to have their 3v1 beatdown right away. McIntyre still fights them off with the sword and scares them out of town, what even changes in terms of the story?
In hindsight, there’s morbid irony in Nia saying we’d see something more shocking than someone using a sword. Nia VS Rhea was a really good match, but whoa at the blood that we unintentionally got. Nia kept going so I suppose that means it wasn’t serious. Hard to say if the roll-up was a plan B finish or the actual plan, since Shayna and Nia had their argument and apparent break-up and Rhea still got her Riptide in, but it all worked out in its own way. The Shay-Nia break-up was coming, Rhea needed to get back to that brutality as she had in NXT, all good stuff. Well, maybe not Rhea’s interview promo afterward. It was recycled material, again, as almost all of Rhea’s Raw promos have been.
We got a really good match and really good story progress in the rematch of Mansoor & Ali VS Mace & T-Bar with that masterfully subtle moment where Ali gets Mansoor away before taking the double choke slam. But… it also exposes that the tag division is scarce right now. I would’ve liked this week to be where Mansoor & Ali face some other team, Ali gets the pin, but only after using a Heelish tactic. Mansoor could realize what happened, be upset, there’s an argument promo, tension, and then they come into the match we got tonight on edge. I think that pacing would’ve given Ali’s sacrifice move more stain power.
I know, I know, I’m starting to sound redundant, but I did start by saying it was a roller coaster of a night. But you have to agree we got sent through a loop with the EvaLution story. First it’s like, “Oooh, Piper’s getting mad! Eva disrespected her, disrespected Natalya, and then disrespected Piper again after losing to Tamina when it was Eva’s fault!” But then, we’re supposed to accept that Piper sides with Eva again just because Alexa was mocking Eva? No! Piper should agree with Alexa, and ditch Eva for all the constant disrespect! I know I would. Vince and his guys just don’t know how to write humans anymore, I swear…
But then, the saving grace of tonight, or maybe graces. Firstly, everything with Priest, Morrison, Miz, and eventually Ricochet and Sheamus, was awesome! Well, okay, MizTV was just “really good” because promos fighting with “CM PUNK!” chants is just… Anyway, Priest VS Morrison 1v1 was badass and Priest & Ricochet VS Sheamus & Morrison was super badass, and I loved that they brought out some never-before-seen moves! Priest is rolling into his US Championship match, I hope this means Ricochet and Morrison have some kind of 1v1 on the side, every single one of these guys are incredible.
Reggie VS Tozawa was great, too! Despite the promo where Reggie explains he was never really French being here and not on SmackDown (more of a communication issue within WWE itself), it doesn’t change that he can still move like he’s almost a superhero. I could not keep up in way where I could describe the moves properly, Reggie is making the WWE 24/7 Championship must-see on his abilities alone. Kinda makes me feel bad that I expect Otis to get this belt on SmackDown.
And of course, everything with Charlotte and Nikki! Charlotte’s promo was good, and yes it droned on, but that’s because she was buying time for Nikki to get to a spot where she could make that ambush possible. And there was confusion caused between a graphic again saying “Championship Contender’s Match” for no reason when Charlotte has a spot in the Triple Threat, and then the ref raises the belt like this was a championship match, all signs that Vince’s newest obsession is poisoning his booking.
But the match itself could not have been any better! There were some obvious things like Charlotte sending herself through the table, but Nikki looked so tough and so aggressive that of course the fans got behind her. And best of all, a clean, definitive win for Nikki with the return of her actual finisher, that’s how you top it off. I would really hope that this all means Nikki retains in the Triple Threat and gets to do as she promised last week in transforming and leading the Raw Women’s Division into the future.
My Score: 8.3/10
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London calling to the champion crowns!
SmackDown brings gold to London as LA Knight defends his WWE US Championship and The Street Profits defend their tag team titles! Will the landscape change this close to WrestleMania?
OFFICIAL RESULTS
- WWE Tag Team Championships: The Street Profits VS Pretty Deadly; The Profits win and retain the titles.
- Kayden Carter & Katana Chance VS The Secret Her-vice w/ Chelsea Green; The Secret Her-vice wins.
- WWE United States Championship: LA Knight VS Braun Strowman; Braun wins, by disqualification, and Knight retains the title.
- Charlotte Flair VS Mia Yim w/ B-Fab; Charlotte wins.
- Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre; McIntyre wins.
- Jimmy Uso VS The Miz; Jimmy wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
Cody Rhodes is here!
We follow The American Nightmare as walks to gorilla, then through the curtain, and London sings along with the song, “WHOA~ OH~!” Cody gets his pyro, says hello to fans along the ramp, and then we get the second “WHOA~ OH~!” and pyro. Cody goes to the ring, grabs a mic, then kneels down to kiss the WWE logo on the mat. The fans continue to sing along all the way to the end, “I AM MY KINGDOM!” The fans then cheer, and Cody holds up the belt to fire them up even more! The fans now sing for “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” and he soaks it in. The fans cheer again as Cody smiles, and he finally says, “So, London~! Whaddya wanna talk about?”
The fans chant “Let’s Go, Cena!” “CENA SUCKS!” Cody hears that dueling, and he smiles again. The song of “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” returns, then they cheer. Cody says, “At WrestleMania 41, I will be facing John Cena…” The fans boo, but Cody says, “I will be facing John Cena as he goes to break the record and win 17. But that is WrestleMania 41. In just a few nights, I will be standing face to face with John Cena in this very same city, in this very same arena.” The fans cheer that, but then here comes Randy Orton! Now the fans sing along with Voices as The Viper heads to the ring. Orton also high-fives fans before he joins Cody.
Orton grabs a mic, paces while the fans keep singing on their own, and then the fans cheer. Orton says he’s not really the sentimental type, but for Cody and for London, screw it. The fans chant “R K O! R K O!” and Orton tells Cody, “Look at you. Look at who you are now, the man you are now. Look at where he came from.” The fans cheer and sing “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” and Orton says he remembers a Cody in his early 20s, just breaking into the business. Cody was busting his ass harder than anyone else. He wasn’t exactly happy, and in fact, he was frustrated. But Cody was man enough, smart enough, to know he needed to grow, and that he couldn’t grow in the WWE.
Cody wasn’t exactly treated fairly in the WWE, so Cody left the WWE! That took some big ass balls to do what he did! Cody changed the business singlehandedly, and everyone in the back knows it. And Orton appreciates Cody for it. But then Cody came back, as they all knew one day he would. And the industry has been changed forever since the day Cody came back to the WWE. Cody is a bit teary eyed as Orton says Cody’s still the same guy, he just did what he set out to do, and he grew. Orton teases he would sing along with the fans, but the fans might leave. The fans again sing “CODY! CODY RHODES~!”
Orton asks if they remember when Cody Rhodes faced Seth Rollins in Hell in a Cell. The fans cheer because they do. Orton says that was impressive, and even impossible, as he started with a partially torn pec and then ended with a fully torn pec! His body changed all kinds of shades of purple that Orton’s never seen on a human body. The pain he must have been in. Cody persevered not just for himself. Maybe not even at all for Cody. It was not even for his family legacy; it was for each and every single fan out there! Then Cody went on to WrestleMania, beat Roman Reigns and finished the story!
But there’s always another story, isn’t there? And Cody’s right in the middle of one. Cody is in charge of his legacy, and it is a privilege for Orton to watch Cody take control of it. Ticket sales have been up, there’s more intrigue around the world, and listen to the people! It is 99.9% all because of Cody! The fans cheer that, and of course they sing. Orton says what he’s trying to say is a long-winded version of he respects Cody, loves him, and is very, very proud of him. The fans cheer that! Orton then says, “But… But now it is time for WrestleMania.” They both look to the sign, and Orton says he can guarantee Cody that Orton will kick Kevin Owens so hard in the head…!
Orton can just feel it already! He forgets how many days are left, but he can’t wait to remove Kevin’s head from his shoulders. And Orton knows Cody will enter champion, exit champion, but not before he beats the holy hell outta Cena all up and down the Vegas strip! But after all the smoke clears and the dust settles, just like Orton wants Number 17, there will come a time when Orton will want Number 15. But Orton won’t kick Cody in the balls like a coward. Orton will look Cody in the eye because he respects Cody, is proud of Cody, and sees him as an equal. Orton will look Cody in the eye and tell him that he’s coming for the title.
The fans cheer but wait! Drew McIntyre is here! The fans cheer the Scottish Terminator as he steps out on stage, mic in hand, and has a wry smile on his face as he looks at the ring. Drew waves as the fans now sing, “OH~ Drew McIntyre~!” Drew says, “Isn’t this wonderful? A couple of nepo babies having a love fest in the middle of the ring> It makes me absolutely sick. What’d you just say, Randy? if Cody gets through Cena at WrestleMania, you’re coming for that title? What exactly have you done since that big comeback to justify that title match? Aside be Randy Orton. The only big moment I can remember is you being on the shelf for months and months and months.
“People like to make jokes about it, but more people talk about my five-minute-45-second title reign than your entire comeback so far! So get to the back of the line, sunshine! As for you, Cody, you should’ve listened to me. But you shunned me. You attacked me. Everybody should’ve listened to me about John Cena, but they didn’t. And the next night, he kicked you right in the twig ‘n’ berries, proving me right as usual. And the main event of WrestleMania should be Cody Rhodes VS The UK’s only ever world champion, Drew McIntyre!” Fans do like that idea. But sadly, it’s not, because of that guyliner wearing Temu Undertaker, Damian Priest!
Drew wants to talk about what is happening. And what’s gonna happen! Drew steps up to the ring while fans sing for him again. Drew says it will not be Randy that takes the title from Cody, should he get through Cena; it’ll be McIntyre. The fans cheer, but Orton says they were trying to have a moment. Can Drew just cut the crap already? Drew says okay, sure. He’ll tell the truth, because that’s all he ever does. The truth is, Kevin might have a point! If those Voices are talking to Orton again, then they know Drew very, very well. And he’s thinking, “My God, Randy looks great! Absolutely jacked! On the outside.”
On the inside, that back is hanging by a thread. And if Orton provokes McIntyre, McIntyre will break him. And as for Cody- Cody kicks Drew and UPPERCUTS him! The fans fire up, and Orton R- NO, Drew gets away! The fans boo, but the battlelines are drawn! Even if Cody makes it out of the frying pan that is Las Vegas, it’ll be into the fire that is these contenders waiting in line! Will the American Nightmare be ready for whoever comes for the crown?
WWE Tag Team Championships: The Street Profits VS Pretty Deadly!
Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins are finally golden again, but it’s time to put the titles on the line already! And while they’re ready for the grind, they’re up against the hometown heroes! Will the Profits still be up in the O2? Or will Kit Wilson & Elton Prince say #YESBOY to a new reign of their own?
The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see who really wants the smoke!
The teams sort out and Kit starts with Dawkins. They tie up, Dawkins headlocks, but Kit powers up and out. Dawkins runs Kit over, the fans fire up, and Dawkins fires hands on Kit in the corner! The fans rally for Pretty Deadly, Dawkins whips Kit to a corner, but Elton takes that bump! Kit CLOBBERS Dawkins, then tags Elton! Atomic drop into DROPKICK! Ford runs up, but into a DOUBLE HIP TOSS! Dawkins whips, Elton reverses, and then Elton hurdles so Kit can DDT! The fans fire up with Pretty Deadly while the Profits bail out. Pretty Deadly has control while SmackDown goes picture in picture.
Elton is right on Dawkins as he gets in, and UPPERCUTS him to the corner. Elton clinches Dawkins for another UPPERCUT! Tag to Kit, and Elton RAMS into Dawkins so Kit can UPPERCUT! Dawkins flops over, Kit drags him up to wrench the arm. Kit whips, Dawkins reverses, but Kit grabs ropes. Kit ELBOWS Dawkins, DECKS Ford, but Dawkins CLOBBERS Kit! The ref reprimands but Dawkins RAMS Kit into the corner again and again! The ref counts, Dawkins fires fast hands, then he tags in Ford. Ford says, “SUCK IT!” then he KICKS Kit! Ford scuffs Kit, then drags him to a cover, TWO!
Ford keeps Kit down with a facelock, but Kit endures the grind. Kit fights up, fires body shots, but Ford whips him away. Kit sunset flips! Ford rolls through, and PENALTY KICKS! Ford mocks Elton with the Scott Hall fingers, and the ref has to keep Elton back. Ford drags Kit up, tags Dawkins, and the Profits mug Kit. Dawkins CLUBS Kit down, then stalks him. Dawkins stays between Kit and Elton, then whips Kit into the Profits’ corner. CYCLONE- NO, Kit dodges! Ford tags in, he keeps Kit from Elton now, but Kit slips out of the suplex! Kit fakes high to go low, hot tag to Elton! Elton rallies with LARIAT after LARIAT!
Elton kicks and whips Ford to a corner, then UPPERCUTS! Elton whips the other way, UPPERCUTS again, and then does it again! Elton adds to the hattrick with a lift, Ford says a quick prayer before the SUPLEX! Ford flounders, gets to his feet, but Elton dodges to springboard and FLYING UPPERCUT! Cover, TWO! Ford stays in this, but Elton stays on him. SmackDown returns to single picture and fans rally for Pretty Deadly as Elton gives Ford a back suplex. Ford lands out, waistlocks, but Elton switches and shoves Ford. Ford CLOBBERS Elton in return! Ford is also dazed but he covers, ONE!
Kit reaches out, Elton and Ford both crawl, hot tags to Kit and Dawkins! The fans fire up as Dawkins wrenches Kit, underhooks and SILENCER! Dawkins Electric Chair Lifts Kit, Ford climbs, but Kit slips free! Kit shoves Dawkins into Ford! Ford falls to the floor, but Dawkins ENZIGIRIS Kit! Elton tags in, and Kit LARIATS Dawkins! Pretty Deadly combine for DRY MARTI-KNEES! Cover, TWO!! Dawkins survives and the Profits are a bit unsure of what to do next. Dawkins crawls to a corner, Elton runs up, but Dawkins dodges! Elton hits buckles and Dawkins TOSSES Kit, then Dawkins hits a SKY HIGH on Elton!
Dawkins hurries to tag Ford and Ford climbs up! But Kit pushes Elton out of the way! Kit takes FROM THE HEAVESN, and Elton ghost pins Ford! TWO!! Ford escapes, and he ROCKS Elton! Elton UPPERCUTS Ford! Dawkins sneaks a tag, Ford SUPERKICKS! POUNCE SAIDO COMBO!! Cover, KIT BREAKS IT! The fans fire up while all four men are down! The teams go to opposite ends, then they all stand up in the corners. They all roar, all run in, and Kit SPEARS Ford while Elton FLYING UPPERCUTS Dawkins!! London is thunderous, and Kit hurries to tag in! Pretty Deadly gets Dawkins up, for SPILT MILK!! Cover, FORD BREAKS IT!
The fans are shocked, as is Elton, but Ford saves this for his team! “This is Awesome!” as Ford runs up and Elton TOSSES him out! Now DRY MARTI- NO! Dawkins doesn’t accept the second serving, and he DUMPS Kit out! Kit skins the cat while Dawkins DECKS Elton! Dawkins catches Kit to an Electric Chair! Ford rises, DOOMSDAY BLOCKBUSTER!! Cover, Profits win!
Winners: The Street Profits, by pinfall (still WWE Tag Team Champions)
Pretty Deadly put up a heroic fight, but the hometown heroes could not capture the gold. Dawkins & Ford hold onto the gold, will this be the strongest the Profits have ever been?
Kayden & Katana talk with Zelina Vega.
Carter & Chance know La Muneca got screwed over by The Green Administration. Chelsea thinks she’s untouchable, but someone’s gonna stop them eventually. Well, speaking of, Alba Fyre leads the way in as she & Piper Niven “scope the perimeter.” There’s one small threat. They frisk the “miniscule” threat, but nothing they haven’t dealt with before. Chelsea struts in and says, “The Eagle has landed~!” Zelina says she is so glad the “Bootleg Men in Black” have crashed the party. Now, yeah, they all know she’s small. But clearly this small “threat” is a big threat to Chelsea’s title reign. Otherwise, it wouldn’t have taken all three of them to beat her.
KC Squared agree with that. How about tonight, we see what happens when the odds are even? Chelsea says that’s fine, because Agents P & A are ready. The Secret Her-vice has been given their next mission, but will they be able to crash the party? Or will the party crash them?
Kayden Carter & Katana Chance VS The Secret Her-vice!
SmackDown returns and The Green Administration makes their entrance. The teams sort out, Alba starts against Katana, and the two tie up. Alba KNEES low, CLUBS Katana down, then fireman’s carries. Katana fights free, tags Kayden, and they KICK, double whip, and then trip Alba up for the basement DROPKICK! Katana adds a slingshot SENTON, Kayden covers, TWO! Kayden tags Katana, they double whip Alba to a corner, then Kayden runs in. Alba DUMPS Kayden out, ROCKS Katana, and she tags Piper! Katana arm-drags Alba out, then goes out to run up. Kayden gives her a boost, Katana CROSSBODIES Alba down!
The fans fire up, but Piper goes up and out?! CANNONBALL and down goes KC Squared! Piper salutes Chelsea and SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns, Kayden rallies on Alba while the fans rally up. Kayden fires up, runs in and whips, but Alba reverses. Kayden wheelbarrows, victory rolls, then SUPERKICKS! Kayden fires up again but the fans are torn. Kayden runs in at Alba to BOOT WASH her against the ropes! Chelsea protests, Kayden kicks at her, then Kayden springboards for a LEG DROP! Cover, TWO! Alba survives, Kayden whips, but Alba KICKS back! Tag to Piper, but Kayden jackknife bridges Alba! The ref explains bout the tag, Piper runs up, but Kayden moves! The SENTON hits Alba! Piper panics, Kayden tags Katana!
Katana goes up onto Kayden’s shoulders, VICTORY ROLL LAUNCHER, but Piper catches Katana! Katana fires hands, BOOTS, and then hurries to go up again. Kayden ROCKS Piper, and fireman’s carries?! SAMOAN DROP! Kayden then gives Katana the boost, for the KEG STAND SPLASH!! Cover, ALBA BREAKS IT! Kayden runs up on Alba to BOOT her out! Katana gives Kayden the boost now, SUPER CROSSBODY onto Alba! Kayden hurries to tag back in, and she brings Piper up. Piper swings, Kayden dodges and SUPERKICKS! Katana goes up, Piper staggers over that way, but Chelsea distracts the ref!
The fans are torn as Alba grabs Katana. Katana kicks Alba down, chases Chelsea off, but Piper sends Kayden into her! Piper scoops to PIPER DRIVER!! Cover, Secret Her-vice wins!
Winner: The Secret Her-vice, by pinfall
The Women’s US Champion helps her team, and now they all mug Kayden & Katana! But here comes Zelina! Vega runs down the ramp, CLOBBERS Alba, and then she gets in the ring! Zelina tilt-o-whirl DDTS Piper! And she KNEES Alba off the apron! But Chelsea CLOBBERS Zelina! Chelsea fires up, the UK is oddly with her, and she chicken wings Zeina. But Zelina fights free to fire forearms and body shots! And a BACK ELBOW! Zelina reels Chelsea in, CODE- SUPERKICK from Alba! SENTON from Piper! The Green Administration is just too much for Zelina to fight against alone! But can she, Kayden & Katana find a way to turn things around?
WWE United States Championship: LA Knight VS Braun Strowman!
Did the Mega Star just get this title back from Shinsuke Nakamura? YEAH! Did he help the Monster of All Monsters fight off Solo Sikoa’s rouge bloodline? YEAH! And now, does he have to defend this title against the monster he just helped? YEAH!! But will Knight still reign this close to WrestleMania? Or will Braun #GetTheseHands back on a championship?
The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and it’s time for Knight’s biggest challenge, YEAH!
The bell rings and the fans rally up as the two circle. The two tie up, and Braun SHOVES Knight away. Knight comes back, Braun SHOVES him down again! Knight gets up, gets around, and he headlocks. Braun powers up to back suplex, but Knight lands out! Knight tries but Braun’s too big to suplex! Braun ELBOWS Knight, storms up on him, but Knight fires haymakers! Knight whips, Braun reverses, but Knight KICKS back! Knight runs, but Braun HIP TOSSES! Cover, TWO! Knight stays in this, but Braun brings him up. Braun puts Knight in a corner, CHOPS, then runs, for a SPLASH! Knight sputters along ropes, Braun keeps moving, but Knight DUMPS him out!
The fans fire up as Knight then WRECKS Braun with a dropkick! Knight keeps moving, and he WRECKS Braun again! The fans fire up with Knight, but then Braun BOOTS Knight down! The fans are torn but Braun stands tall as SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns and Braun puts Knight back in the ring. The fans cheer as Knight KICKS Braun! Knight tries again, but Braun’s still too big to back suplex! Braun CLUBS Knight, then runs in at the corner. Knight BOOTS Braun, goes up, and FLYING BULLDOGS! Both men are down and the fans fire up! Knight and Braun rise back up, and Knight dodges a shot to JAB! Then he dodges to JAB! JAB! JAB! “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” But Braun KNEES low! Braun scoops, Knight slips free, and Knight RAMS Braun into buckles! Then the BACK SUPLEX! The fans fire up and Knight rises again! Knight spells it out, “L! A! KNIGHT! YEAH!” ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO!
Braun has plenty left in the tank but the fans rally for Knight. Knight stands Braun up to kick low, but Braun THROWS Knight away! Knight rises, and Braun LARIATS Knight up and out! The fans fire up as Braun rips the shirt! Braun gets on the track, and he runs in, STROWMAN EXPRESS MEETS JACOB FATU!! The Samoan Werewolf strikes Braun down!
Winner: Braun Strowman, by disqualification; LA Knight retains the title
The fans boo as Jacob now goes after Knight! He just ruined what was becoming a great match, but Jacob fires HEADBUTT after HEADBUTT on Braun! SAMOAN DROP onto the desk!! The desk doesn’t budge, but Braun might’ve been broken in half! The UK fires up for Fatu as he puts Braun in the ring! Jacob fires more HEADBUTTS, then HEADBUTTS away on Braun in the corner! The fans sing “OLE~ OLE OLE OLE, FATU~, FATU~!” Jacob runs corner to corner, but Knight kicks him first! Knight fires haymakers, “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” Jacob denies the BFT to POP-UP SAMOAN DROP! And then HIP ATTACK for Braun anyway!
Jacob keeps going, HIP ATTACK for Braun again! Jacob throws off his jacket, glares at Braun, and he runs in for a third HIP ATTACK! Braun flounders into the drop zone, so Jacob goes up, up, BEST MOONSAULT EVER! Direct hit on Braun, but the fans want that “ONE MORE TIME!” Jacob obliges, BEST MOONSAULT EVER! The Samoan Werewolf just tore up #OneBigSOB and LA Knight, will there be no stopping him from taking the United States Championship?
Backstage interview with Jimmy Uso.
Jackie Redmond is with #BigJim, and she says that while she knew WWE was going global this month, she did not know they’d get the slap heard ’round the world! Jimmy says he’d do it again, and he’ll slap Gunther as many times as he needs! Jimmy knows Jey is up in his own head, doubt is creeping on him. But just because Jey’s 0-3 against Gunther doesn’t mean Gunther’s unbeatable! The Ring General CAN be got! Jimmy’s going to Raw this Monday, he will bust Gunther’s ass, Jey will go to Mania and bust Gunther’s ass to become the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. And then they leave Las Vegas just like this: YEET!
Jimmy heads out, but then The Miz & Carmelo Hayes walk by. Miz is mocking Jimmy’s words, and he asks excuse me. Miz says it’s just funny that suddenly, Jimmy is a tough guy, even though for most of his career, he’s been “The Other Uso.” Doesn’t Jimmy get it? Jimmy and Jey are career sidekicks while Gunther is a main character. Gunther is the lead, neither Jimmy nor Jey can beat him. And here’s another thing: The Usos are just blips on the trailer that was Roman Reigns’ Bloodline. Melo says Jimmy & Jey are stuck outside the club, they can’t even get in.
Miz says as a former WWE Champion, a former WrestleMania main eventer, Jimmy will never know what it is to carry this industry. And after this year’s WrestleMania, neither will Jey. Oh, and by the way, if Jimmy ever slapped Miz like that, Jimmy would still be on the ground. Jimmy feints the slap and Miz freaks out. Jimmy says it may be him and Gunther on Monday, but he’ll holler at Aldis real quick so it can be Jimmy VS Miz here tonight. Yeah, YEET! Jimmy heads out, Melo says he thought Miz was gonna do something about the slap. Will Miz have to do something about running his mouth before he gets his teeth kicked in?
Solo Sikoa & Tama Tonga find Jacob Fatu backstage.
Solo asks Jacob what the Hell he was doing out there. Jacob goes out there alone without saying a thing to them? Jacob says he ain’t gotta say nothing to nobody! Matter fact, didn’t Solo not tap in with him last week? Tama says, “But Jacob,” only for Jacob to say, “But nothing, Tama!” Solo wants Jacob to lower his tone, but Jacob says okay. Let him be very clear with them. When it comes to Braun Strowman, Jacob WILL be the last man standing. Y’all better get in where you fit in, cuz that US title? Oh, Jacob’s bringing it home to the family. And he will do it with them, or without them! Yadada mean? Fatu heads out, is the Samoan Werewolf no longer following Solo?
Naomi speaks.
“I mean… How did we even get here? I don’t know. One thing that I do know is that I’ve always been the woman to do the right thing. I’ve always been the woman to do the right thing. So Bianca, what makes you think that my attack on Jade was anything different from me doing the right thing? When I sit here and I think about all that I’ve sacrificed, all that I’ve given, and that’s what really breaks my heart. Because through all of that, I’m made to be the bad one in this situation. I just don’t understand, how does Jade come in outta nowhere and take my place with you? I want you to ask yourself this, Bianca. Who inspired you? Hmm?
“Who’s inspired women over the last decade? Who’s always had your back from day one of you being here? Me. Not Jade. Hmm. But you know what? What I’ve learned through all of this: You teach people how to treat you. And I’m done with being treated as a third wheel. I’m done being pushed to the side, I’m done with being too nice, I’m done with being undervalued, underutilized, underappreciated! So moving forward, hmm… Moving forward, here’s my message to you, Jade. If you continue to be in my way, I strongly advise you to proceed with caution.” The Glow shows her dark side, but will the storm be moved?
Nick Aldis meets with Jade Cargill.
Speaking of, the SmackDown General Manager understands things have been rather difficult for her as of late. Jade says she’s been trying to get her hands on Naomi for the past few weeks, now where is she? No one has seen her all day, so as far as anyone knows, Naomi’s not here. Well, when Jade catches Naomi, it’s on sight. Jade leaves, B-Fab & Michin are there. They let her know that what Naomi did to her was straight trash, totally uncalled for behavior. And after Jade gets her hands on Naomi, she’ll handle that business. Jade agrees. Mia says they’ve all got business to handle. Jade’s got Naomi, and Mia’s gonna get Charlotte for messing with her girl, B.
B-Fab says Naomi’s got what’s coming to her: no sympathy, no regrets. Jade, just do what you gotta do. Oh, she will. Jade also wishes Mia luck tonight. Mia & B-Fab head out, will the Head Baddie in Charge make the Queen bow down in London?
The darkness approaches.
“You are as I was. As I am, you will be.” The shadows are starting to take shape, but is SmackDown about to fade to black?
Charlotte Flair VS Mia Yim w/ B-Fab!
The Queen looks down on everyone, so it’s no surprise that everyone else wants to take her down. Charlotte may have checked off B-Fab, but will the HBIC be a much different story? Or will Charlotte only sharpen her edge before facing Tiffany Stratton at WrestleMania?
WAIT! NAOMI ATTACKS B-FAB & MICHIN! Naomi drags Mia up for a FACEBUSTER! Naomi rains down fists, the ref reprimands and the fans boo, but Naomi tells the ref to back off. Naomi then BOOTS B-Fab off the apron! Naomi goes out after B-Fab to THRWO her into barriers! Naomi SLAPS B-Fab, tells her to stay down, but B-Fab gets up. Naomi fires hands, then she SMACKS B-Fab off the desk! Naomi rains down fists, but here comes Jade! Jade hurries down the ramp, she runs around the way, but Naomi runs away! Jade makes sure B-Fab is okay, but refs have to help her to the back. And what of Mia? Will she even be able to compete?
Charlotte makes her entrance, not really caring about what Naomi just did to Mia. But that means she also crosses paths with Jade. The fans like the look of this stare down, but Jade and Charlotte both let the other slide. Charlotte gets her pyro, and it seems she’ll still get her match. Will Mia be little more than an appetizer now?
The bell rings, and Charlotte BOOTS Mia down! Cover, TWO! Mia stays in this and the fans rally up. Charlotte just struts around while SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns, Charlotte has Mia down with a chinlock, but the fans rally up. Mia fights up, fires body shots, and she then blocks a shot to ROCK Charlotte! Mia ROCKS Charlotte again and again, then reels her in for a TORNADO DDT! The fans fire up as Mia hurries to cover, TWO! Mia drags Charlotte up, wrenches, but Charlotte says no to Da Feet! BIG back suplex! Mia stagger sup, Charlotte whips her, but Mia reverses! Charlotte goes up and out, BOOTS her away, then slingshots in and rolls Mia! Mia rolls through and BUZZSAWS! Mia runs corner to corner, but Charlotte avoids the cannonball!
Charlotte YAKUZA KICKS Mia down, then fires herself up! The fans “WOO~!” as Charlotte has Mia in the drop zone,. Charlotte steps on her, goes up the corner, but Mia gets underneath her! SIT-OUT POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! Charlotte survives and Mia is shocked! Mia nods as the fans rally back up, and she brings Charlotte up. But Charlotte ROCKS Mia! Mia SOBATS, PELES, and then runs to PENALTY KICK! Cover, TWO! Charlotte stays in this, Mia grows frustrated, but the fans continue to rally. Mia uses that energy to stay focused, and she stalks Charlotte to waistlock. But Charlotte ELBOWS her away!
Charlotte CHOPS, and CHOPS, and CHOSP! Charlotte winds up, and she CHOPS again! Mia sputters, but then she dodges the boot! Charlotte is caught, and Mia hits a SAIDO! Charlotte flounders to a corner, the fans rally behind Mia, and Mia runs up, CANNONBALL! Mia hurries to wrench and EAT- NO, Charlotte shoves Mia away! Charlotte gets under, back suplexes, but Mia lands out! EAT DA FEET!! Cover, ROPEBREAK!! Charlotte’s long legs help her survive by a literal foot! Mia is beside herself while Charlotte bails out. Mia storms after Charlotte, runs up, but Charlotte dodges! Mia’s kick hits steel steps!
Mia hobbles away, goes to the apron, but Charlotte CHOP BLOCKS the bad leg out! Charlotte grabs Mia’s leg, drops a KNEE on the knee, but fans chant, “We Want Tiffy!” Charlotte just steps through, FIGURE FOUR, into FIGURE EIGHT!! Mia taps, Charlotte wins!
Winner: Charlotte Flair, by submission
Charlotte got more of a fight out of Mia than expected, but she still won. Will The Queen be more than ready to reign again after WrestleMania?
Backstage interview with Tiffany Stratton.
Jackie Redmond is with the WWE Women’s Champion and says Charlotte certainly looks confident. Let’s be real, Charlotte came at Tiff pretty hard. It got a lot of people talking. Tiff says yes, people talk. And Charlotte sure loves to hear herself talk. Ten years into the business and Charlotte is still so insecure that she can’t let a “rookie” get a word out. But last week, Tiff did learn something: She learned that walking into WrestleMania, she isn’t the one with something to lose. Truth is, if Tiff loses, then she lost to the great Charlotte Flair, as just a 25-year-old rookie with one year into SmackDown.
But if Charlotte loses… Well, then she lost to an “undeserving, delusional, unoriginal, backflip doing, blonde-hair-having, little girl.” Did she get it all? And Tiff can’t wait to hear the look on Charlotte’s face when they hear the words, “And STILL!” Then maybe Charlotte will finally shut up for the sake of literally everyone! They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, and Tiff will make damn sure what stays is Charlotte’s massive ego. Tiff is walking into and out of Mania as the WWE Women’s Champion. Tootles! Tiff heads out, will it still be #TiffyTime after WrestleMania?
Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre!
The Viper told Cody how proud he was, but also how he wants the next shot after John Cena. The Scottish Terminator took offense to that, and basically said he is taking that shot instead. Will this match be an unofficial #1 contender’s match between these two former world champions?
SmackDown returns and McIntyre makes his entrance. The bell rings and the fans sing, “OH~, Drew McIntyre~!” and chant “R K O! R K O!” Drew and Orton circle, tie up, and they go around in a deadlock. Drew powers Orton to a corner, but Orton headlocks back. Drew powers up and out, then he runs Orton over! Orton hurries to ropes and Drew mockingly asks, “How’s the back feel, Randy?” Orton stands, he and Drew reset, and the fans duel some more. Drew calls for a knuckle lock, Orton accepts, but then Drew kicks low! Drew bumps Orton off buckles, then climbs up, but he panders for too long and Orton YANKS him down!
The fans fire up as Orton climbs now! Orton rains down fists, and the fans count to nine. Orton hops down, brings Drew around, and POSTS him for ten! Drew tumbles out of the ring, Orton goes out after him, and they’re by the desk! But Drew kicks Orton first and SMACKS him off the desk! Drew clears the desk, and he brings Orton up for the DESK- NO, Orton fights free! Orton turns things around, DESK BACK SUPLEX for Drew! The fans fire up while Orton leaves Drew behind, and SmackDown goes picture in picture.
Drew writhes on the floor, but Orton goes out to fetch him! Orton brings Drew around, UPPERCUTS him, then says one more time! DESK BACK SUPLEX! Drew writhes as that desk stays standing! Orton grins, refreshes the ring count, and then he storms up on Drew. Drew pokes Orton in the eye! Drew POSTS Orton now, then brings him around to RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP into barriers! Orton slumps down, and Drew also grits his teeth from that double-edged attack, but Drew fires up as he stands tall. Drew drags Orton up, puts him in the ring, then stalks Orton. Drew looms over Orton, and HIP DROPS him!
Orton sputters, Drew says one more time, and he winds up for the HIP DROP! Drew paces around Orton, says maybe one more time, and he pretends he can’t hear the fans. Drew winds up again, but Orton flips over! Hip drop meets kneecaps! And then Orton pokes Drew in the eyes! The ref reprimands but Orton rises up. Drew sputters and flounders, Orton ROCKS him with a right! Drew ROCKS Orton back! Drew storms up, Orton kicks low, but Drew fires another haymaker! The haymakers go back and forth, Orton gets the edge, but Drew GLASGOW KISS HEADBUTTS! Cover, TWO! Drew clamps onto Orton with an armlock!
SmackDown returns to single picture and the fans rally up. Orton fights up, pries at the chinbar, and then throws right hands! Drew CHOPS Orton in return! The fans “WOO~” and Drew winds up. Drew ROCKS Orton again, eggs him on, then CHOPS again! Drew shoves Orton to a corner, CHOPS again, then dares Orton to fight! Drew whips corner to corner, but Orton comes back to LARIAT! And LARIAT! Drew swings, Orton dodges, SNAP POWERSLAM! The fans fire up as Orton stalks Drew to the apron. Drew HOTSHOTS Orton first! Drew then runs in, but Orton puts him through the ropes!
The fans fire up as Orton has Drew for the DRAPING DDT! The fans fire up for Orton, and Orton hears those voices! Drew rises, but then Orton spots KEVIN OWENS! The Prizefighter is on the ramp, Orton glares at him, but then he turns around into a CLAYMORE!! Cover, DREW WINS!
Winner: Drew McIntyre, by pinfall
Kevin’s mere presence costs Orton, and now Drew has a huge win propelling him down the Road to WrestleMania! As for Orton, Kevin drags him out of the ring, SMACKS him off the desk, and then climbs up to join him! The fans boo but Kevin and his hot pink sneakers have Orton in position, but Orton slips free and TRIPS Kevin up! Kevin hits the desk then the floor! Orton staggers around, the fans rally behind him, and Orton stalks Kevin to the corner of the barriers. Orton lines up the shot! Orton runs in, but Kevin jumps over barriers! Security is there to stop Orton from pursuing, so Kevin runs away into the night!
The fans boo, but The Viper was that close! Will Orton be able to strike Kevin down and completely take him out?
Fire, thunder, smoke…
The force of nature is drawing ever closer. And he’s ready to fly! REY FENIX arrives next Friday Night SmackDown!
Jimmy Uso VS The Miz!
#BigJim gave Gunther a piece of his mind and a mark on his cheek, but it seems not everyone got the message. Will the Hollywood A-lister soon star in the Uso Penitentiary? Or will he prove Jimmy is NOT ready for a world champion level opponent?
The bell rings and the two tie up. Jimmy powers Miz to a corner, Miz turns things around, and the ref counts. Miz takes a swing, Jimmy ducks it to CHOP! And CHOP! Miz shoves Jimmy back, then runs up, but Jimmy TACKLES Miz! Jimmy rains down fists, Miz shoves him away to go to ropes, but Jimmy storms back up. Miz ELBOWS Jimmy away, then runs back up, only for Jimmy to LARIAT him down! The fans fire up while Jimmy storms up on Miz. Jimmy CHOPS Miz, has him in a corner, then whips corner to corner. Miz reverses, Jimmy goes up and over, then UPPERCUTS! Miz staggers back to ropes, but Jimmy is right on him.
Jimmy whips, Miz reverses and kitchen sink knees! Then basement BOOTS! The fans fire up, Miz scowls, and Miz KNEES Jimmy in the back again and again. Miz stalks Jimmy to the ropes now, and he CHOKES Jimmy! The ref counts, Miz runs, and Miz STRADDLE ATTACKS! The fans boo, but Miz runs again. Jimmy ducks the boot, then dodges a lariat! Jimmy runs up to LARIAT Miz up and out! The fans fire up and Jimmy builds speed, but Miz runs away! Jimmy smirks as he goes out the side, and UPPERCUTS Miz over the barriers! Jimmy makes sure Gunther knows he’s coming to get him, but SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns and both men are down. Miz and Jimmy crawl, and Jimmy pounds the mat. The fans rally, Jimmy rises and runs up to LARIAT! And LARIAT! And mule kick! Jimmy then UPPERCUTS Miz, dodges a lariat, then SAMOAN DROPS! The fans fire up, Jimmy goes to the corner, “UCE! OH!” Jimmy runs in, but Miz puts him on the apron! Jimmy UPPERCUTS again! Jimmy climbs, leaps, but Miz gets under! Miz then waistlocks, ripcords, and MOVIE MAKER! Fans boo that blatant parody, but Miz full nelsons! Jimmy drops, victory rolls, TWO! Miz has the cover, TWO! Miz hurries to BASEMENT DDT! Cover, TWO!
The fans rally up as Jimmy survives! Miz stalks Jimmy, the fans rally up more, and Miz fires a KICK! And then another KICK! The fans say “YES! YES! YES!” to the It Kicks, but then Miz winds up. Jimmy ducks the buzzsaw, Miz blocks the superkick, but the DRAGON WHIP connects! Miz rebounds to B-MOVIE KNEE!! Cover, TWO!! The parodies don’t get it done, but Miz still has his original work to fall back on. The fans rally for “UCE! OH! UCE! OH!” Miz runs in, A-LIST LARIAT! Miz shoves Jimmy down, then springboards, but into a SUPERKICK! Jimmy hurries up top, for the USO SPLASH!! Cover, Jimmy wins!
Winner: Jimmy Uso, by pinfall
Miz may be a movie star, but Big Jim’s the one winning this main event! Jimmy then borrows Joe Tessitore’s headset to call out Gunther! He’s coming after dat ass on Monday! Gunther won’t be the ring general, he will be “Private Gunther,” and he will salute Big Jim! Uh, uh, YEET! Will Jimmy be the one making examples out of the World Heavyweight Champion? Or will everything come crashing down when Gunther gets his turn?
Drew McIntyre returns backstage.
And he says hey to Lewis Capaldi, the Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter, and also a big fan of Drew’s. They’re ready to have a good night in the pub, but Jackie Redmond walks over to congratulate him on the win tonight. She was hoping to get some thoughts on that victory and what happened with Orton and Kevin. Drew says it’s alright, this is what happens. He doesn’t care about anybody else’s business, but no one gets away with screwing him over. And when no one meddles in his business, he wins! Drew called out Priest, where is he? Priest doesn’t have the balls! So time to get mad in the pubs, everyone’s invited!
Drew turns the corner, but PRIEST IS THERE! Priest ROCKS Drew, SMACKS him off the door, then throws him into road cases! Priest ROCKS Drew, SMACKS him off the trunk of a car, and then again! Or since it’s London, “the boot.” The driver complains, but Priest BODY SLAMS that guy through a table! Drew comes back to KNEE Priest low, SMACK him off the trunk, and then off the side! They go to the hood, or bonnet for UK. Drew drags Priest up, but Priest CLAWS Drew’s eyes! Priest then sends Drew SOUTH OF HEAVEN through the windshield! Priest tells security that he’s done for now. Any more jokes, Drew? Didn’t think so! RIP, jackass!
Priest leaves, the producers hurry to help Drew, and Drew’s got glass in his eye! Will that glass help Drew see why he shouldn’t piss off the Punisher?
CM Punk heads to gorilla.
He has a security detail with him, and he passes by Drew writhing in pain. Punk chuckles, then continues on. Will his contract signing with Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins be just as brutal? We find out, after the break.
Nick Aldis is in the ring.
The SmackDown General Manager welcomes us back, and says it is his honor and privilege to be here in the O2 in London. Now, we all know why he and this table is here, and why additional security is here tonight. Tonight, we are here to sign a contract for a Triple Threat. Perhaps the biggest Triple Threat in the history of WrestleMania: Seth Rollins VS CM Punk VS Roman Reigns! The fans cheer all those names, and here comes the OTC! London puts the ones up, and Paul Heyman accompanies THE Tribal Chief out on stage. Roman raises his finger to the sky for the pyro, then security follows him to the ring.
SmackDown goes picture in picture as Roman’s entrance continues, and he raises his finger to the sky for the second round of pyro. Roman steps into the ring, SmackDown returns to single picture, and Heyman hands him a mic. The fans sing, “ROMAN! ROMAN REIGNS~!” Roman nods, the fans cheer, and now they chant, “O T C! O T C!” Roman tells London, “ACKNOWLEDGE ME!” The fans cheer again, and again chant, “O T C! O T C!” Roman smiles, but he sees the chairs are not to his liking. Heyman makes sure to put one at the head of the table. Heyman also dusts the chair off while Roman enjoys the singing of, “ROMAN! ROMAN REIGNS~!”
Roman takes a seat and says that was beautiful. The way they sing to their Tribal Chief, it’s just beautiful. The singing continues, and Heyman even joins in! Roman smiles, and he says that is what he’s talking about. That’s the OTC for you, baby! The biggest star on the planet! The OTC came here for two reasons. One: to be acknowledged; check! And two: to sign this contract. Roman does just that, and he says he’s checked both boxes. That means- “BURN IT DOWN!” Seth Rollins interrupts! The fans now sing, “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~!” Rollins struts out in his red wine paisley suit and conducts the O2 Choir all the way into the ring.
The fans cheer while Roman frowns, but Rollins takes the seat to Roman’s left. Rollins offers Heyman a chance to sing to this song, but Heyman frowns. Rollins chuckles, and he says the fans do have beautiful singing voices. He doesn’t know why Roman is in such a hurry to leave, though! This is their building! There’s a lot of history here! 12 years ago, they landed on the roof of this place in a helicopter! They came down those stairs over there, “ready to burn down the old guard!” They put the Undertaker down through the desk, and they were going to remake this company in their image!
Now don’t get him wrong, Rollins knows a lot has happened since then. They fought against each other, with each other, a little bit of love and a whole lot of hate. But Rollins dare says, as the fans continue to sing “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~,” that Rollins and Roman accomplished their mission. The fans start to chant for CM Punk, but Rollins tunes them out. Roman says, “We? We? You keep saying we. Our mission? We died a long time ago. It’s only been ME. You been here, but I done all the work! I’ve made this place what it is today! I took us to the level that we are here today! I made this place better than we found it!
“I’m the one that made us desirable to Netflix! I’m the one that took us into billion-dollar deals! Tell me, what have you done?” Rollins shouts, “I’ll tell you what I’ve done! YOU, YOU, YOU, it’s that mindset that keeps me having to screw you! You understand that? And your biggest mistake is not understanding the danger that’s right in front of us! The danger that’s right in front of you! You let the biggest snake in the world, CM Punk, into the garden! And you could’ve cut his head off at WarGames! But instead, you shook his hand. You could’ve let me finish him inside the cage at The Garden, but you didn’t. And now, I am left to do what I always do: Clean up your mess, again.”
Rollins drops his mic, picks up the pen, and signs his part. And now, here comes CM PUNK! The fans fire up and sing along with Cult of Personality, then join in on saying, “IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME~!” Punk goes to the ring, but as he grabs a mic, he goes up a corner, just like he did last Friday. “I have come here to chew bubblegum and sign a contract. And I’m all outta bubblegum.” The fans cheer the Rowdy Roddy Piper reference, and Punk hops down to take his seat on Roman’s right. Punk looks over said contract, but Roman asks if Punk needs a highlighter or something. What’s he doing? Just go to page four, clause five.
Punk does as Roman says, but Roman says Punk needs to hurry, this is precious TV time. Punk reads the segment, Roman tells Heyman to just smarten Punk up. Heyman tells Punk he knows what Punk is looking for. It is in there. They’re closing the show at WrestleMania. The fans go wild hearing that! Heyman tells Punk that he gets to live his dream of dreams. CM Punk will be a WrestleMania main eventer! The fans cheer and while Roman smiles, Rollins is furious. Roman says, “One man’s dream is another man’s favor! CHECK!” Wait, this was the favor? Rollins says no! This is not something to laugh at, and Punk does not get to tear up!
Punk is NOT deserving! He does NOT deserve this! The fans boo but Rollins continues to throw a fit! Main eventing WrestleMania is SACRED, the most important thing in the world to Rollins! More than anything! Except the fact that Punk NEVER gets to main event! This is all Roman’s fault! This is all Heyman’s fault! Rollins THROWS his mic down, paces angrily, but Punk picks up the mic. The fans cheer Punk on again, and Punk stands to thank London, to thank Chicago, to thank Louisville, Kentucky, and to thank ALL the fans. As corny as it sounds, he thanks the WWE Universe who stood by him and chanted his name for TEN LONG YEARS!
Roman says hold on, hold on. Punk shouldn’t be thanking the fans! He should be thanking the Tribal Chief! It is because of Roman that Punk gets this honor! So please, take this moment, close the show with that acknowledgement! Do this the right way. The credits are already rolling as Punk kneels before Roman!? Punk smiles, and he thanks “My Tribal Chief, the holder of the ula fala, the Head of the Table, the… Big Dog? Thank you for allowing a kid from Chicago to be graced by your presence. Thank you, My Tribal Chief, for allowing me to stand in your ring. And thank you so much. Thank you, Roman Reigns, so very much.
“But because of you, I will see you in the main event of WrestleMania.” And again, Rollins is agonizing over this. Punk finishes putting his signature on the contract, and London tells him, “You Deserve It!” Punk thanks Roman again, and then says, “But that’s not the favor that I’m owed.” WHAT?! Roman looks at Heyman and Heyman can’t look him in the eye! If getting this Triple Threat made into the main event isn’t the gift of the Wise Man, then what is?!
My Thoughts:
A good SmackDown, but they pulled off quite the paradox. They made it feel like they were struggling to fill three hours, yet they also filled the show to the point where that contract signing segment was almost bleeding over the three hour mark. Ironically, part of the problem was just how excited the London crowd was for this. The superstars still wanted to enjoy the chants and songs, but that’s time SmackDown doesn’t have to spare. It made the opening promo from Cody, Orton and Drew take longer, and it kinda did the same to the contract signing at the end. Even so, we still got a very good promo, and good stuff to set up Orton VS McIntyre.
Orton VS McIntyre was a great match, but of course Kevin costs Orton. McIntyre gets his win, Kevin and Orton have a bit of a brawl, but of course Kevin ends up on the losing end and runs off. McIntyre’s trash talk also comes back to bite him as Priest gets the better of him in their brawl. Here’s hoping Drew didn’t actually get glass in his eye, but that being the thing in kayfabe can be some good stuff. I can imagine McIntyre with an eyepatch, and he takes it off at the opportune time to get the better of Priest in their match. Also what a fitting choice for Punk to be passing by Drew suffering because of real glass.
Very good title matches tonight, but of course the status quo was kept. Pretty Deadly gets to look great here in London, but the Profits only just got the belts, they’re not going to be transitional champions like that. And Knight VS Braun was really good stuff, but honestly, Jacob Fatu going after them both should’ve been a given. Jacob also had a great promo with Solo & Tama to start adding to that divide between Jacob and Solo. I would hope Solo doesn’t screw Jacob out of the US Championship, but it feels like he will as Solo won’t stand for Jacob defying his authority, even though Solo’s been trying to make Jacob the champion all along.
Very good stuff from Jimmy Uso tonight, from his promo with #MeloDon’tMiz and then a great match with Miz. Their match ended up the de facto main event match, so that’s also great for both guys. Great win for Jimmy, but that’s likely because Jimmy is losing big time to Gunther on Monday. And it might just be me, but it feels like only now is the Jey VS Gunther build really moving, largely in part because Jimmy got involved. Jimmy’s promo after his match is something along the lines of what Jey should be saying. But I suppose as brothers, Jimmy is the one who knows Jey best and knows what Jey needs to be motivated again. And seeing Jimmy get beat up by Gunther will definitely motivate Jey…
Good final vignettes for Rey Fenix and Aleister Black. I’m a little surprised they confirmed Rey Fenix is showing up next week, and that they confirmed who Rey Fenix even is. I believe commentary confirmed Rey Fenix is Penta’s real brother, even namedropped “Lucha Brothers,” but all that is still surprising considering Fenix is going to start on SmackDown. Aleister’s vignette (at least I am fairly confident it’s his) was giving us glimpses of his silhouette, but I think there was usage of AI in the snake imagery. It was fine they did it for El Grande Americano because that is all trolling, but they really should try and do things the old fashioned way of photoshop and stock imagery.
Very good stuff in the Women’s Division tonight, though the WWE Women’s Championship portion was the weaker. Naomi’s got a great Heel persona going, her promo was great, and her going after B-Fab & Michin over them supporting Jade was a great detail. Jade runs Naomi off, helps B-Fab, but there was no helping Michin in being fed to Charlotte. Tiffany had a decent promo, and it does fit how Charlotte kept her from speaking so she finally gets things out here. It didn’t really add that much, though, but they already gave us a great brawl so not sure what more they can give.
KC Squared VS The Secret Her-vice was a very good match, but of course Chelsea made sure her team won. A Six Woman Tag of Zelina & KC Squared VS The Green Administration is certainly coming, to help give us Zelina VS Chelsea for the Women’s US Championship.
My Score: 8.7/10
About Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
Classic POD is WAR
Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
Powered by RedCircle
Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
Coverage
Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 3.27.2025
Bad news out of the TNA management side, but this is a taped episode from El Paso! So we won’t see any of the fallout just yet!
Now we all heard the news about the TNA change in hierarchy, and I…have no positive outlook on that. Delirious sucked at booking and creative in the dying days of ROH before it got bought as a B show. Dreamer having even more control is concerning because his ideas the last two years haven’t been much better.
Gail leaving makes more sense to me. Be it firing or a “you can’t quit, you’re fired” kind of situation, the Knockouts division is the worst it’s been in a long time and Gail was close with Scott D’Amore. So I don’t think Gail parting ways is as big of a problem since TNA has slowly been bleeding out with the Scott faithful.
Granted, I think the next few shows were already taped before the firing so things shouldn’t be completely unwatchable for at least a week or two. So let’s see where we’re going.
.@WeAreRosemary sends @XiaBrookside a CHILLING message!
WATCH #TNAiMPACT on TNA+: https://t.co/LaVxF6l2yc pic.twitter.com/srciTTbel0
— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) March 28, 2025
Ratings:
- Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley vs Elegance Clique w/Personal Concierge: Ash wins via Rarefied Air – ** 1/4
- Fir$t Cla$$ & Frankie Kazarian vs Laredo Kid, Octagon Jr & Chavo Guerrero Jr: Chavo wins via Gory Bomb into Frog Splash – *** 1/4
- Jacy Jayne vs Masha Slamovich: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – ***
- Eric Young w/two losers vs Ace Austin: Eric wins via Piledriver – ** 1/2
- Seto & Mokuba – I mean – Nic Nemeth w/Ryan Nemeth vs Leon Slater: Nic wins via Danger Zone – *** 1/4
Results:
Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley vs Elegance Clique w/Personal Concierge
Ash and Gigi start off, Gigi with a little Rascalz after her first takedown. So both her and Wentz are making it obvious something’s going on between them, and I’m not mad at it. Good for my man Wentz.
Tatum and Gigi get some quick tandem offense in, Ash does manage to scurry off to a tag and Heather gets bent into a Pretzel. Some kind of Inverted Tarantula from Tatum, Gigi tags in, Bronco Buster on Heather followed by Kawada Kicks. Heather sells against the ropes, Gigi goes for a Hesitation Dropkick, but Concierge pulls her away so Gigi crashes and burns. Ref is distracted, Ash gets in some cheap shots and then the Elegant duo starts working over Gigi. A few quick tags, but once Heather comes in, Gigi fights out of the corner, gets the hot tag to Tatum. Tatum stacks up both Elegance members, Corner Stacked Crossbody, Butterfly Suplex and an Elbow Drop with some some flare. Tatum goes to the top rope, Heather pulls Gigi off the apron, Concierge shoves Tatum off the turnbuckle and Ash hits Rarefied Air for the win.
Post match the Elegance Clique wants to make their wish with the cake, they light the candles and Tatum and Gigi recover enough to do what we all expected last week, the cake in the face spot. Some…suggestive licking from both of our Hot Topic Hotties, so…no complaints here.
.@Ashamae_Sebera, @Heathereckless and @IamGeorgeIceman are having a meltdown!
WATCH #TNAiMPACT on TNA+: https://t.co/LaVxF6l2yc pic.twitter.com/FnKwPqm2ff
— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) March 28, 2025
Fir$t Cla$$ & Frankie Kazarian vs Laredo Kid, Octagon Jr & Chavo Guerrero Jr
Chavo and Kaz start since he’s King Petty, a quick rope run turns into a Headscissor from Chavo. Kaz recovers, they lock up, Kaz hits the Knee Lift during the lock up to tag out to KC. KC pulls off some athletic dodges, gloats a bit so Chavo waits, measures and nails a gorgeous Dropkick. Laredo comes in on fire, quick high spots that send KC bouncing around like HBK against Hulk. KC powders after sells the Satellite Takedown, AJ checks on him and we go to commercial.
Back from commercial, Octagon is lighting up KC’s chest with overhand chops, he perches, Sunset Headscissor Flip from corner to corner, KC tries to Back Drop him but Octagon does a headstand, kicks KC away and lays him out with a high spot. AJ gets on the apron to stop Octagon from running the ropes, the referee has a stroke or something because he stops paying attention and AJ pulls Octagon out of the ring and chucks him. KC with the Tope con Hilo and tag (tag ropes haven’t mattered since the 80s we all know this). So AJ is getting taunted by the crowd in Spanish, but he’s manhandling Octagon since it looks like a Child fighting their parent. AJ knocks off Chavo and Laredo, Laredo pops up and tries to get involved but he’s caught on the shoulders, Octagon goes for the Crossbody but gets caught and AJ pulls off “World’s Strongest Wasteland” but Chavo breaks up the pinfall. AJ throws Octagon into the corner, Tennessee Whiskey, and tag out to KC. KC hits a few moves, but starts to lose the momentum until he connects with a Super Kick. Simultaneous rope run into the Dueling Crossbodies, so we get the timely tag outs from both sides. Kaz and Laredo come in, Laredo lands like two moves before Kaz hits a Sole Butt, Lariat and eats his lunch. KC and Kaz try to double team Laredo but he fights out and the crowd is chanting for Chavo.
Chavo tags in, and he’s rocking KC, Saito Suplex, Low Bridge to AJ, Reverse the Whip so Chavo goes to the corner and perches, KC feeds, Chavo Backflips to safety, rolls through and lays out KC. Chavo is feeling himself, 3 Amigos start on KC but only 2, Kaz comes in and Chavo switches to Kaz for the Amigos, only 2 again before AJ breaks it up. AJ goes for the disrespect, but Chavo counters and hits the 3 Amigos on the biggest Culero. Aztec Warriors dive to stop AJ and Kaz, KC tries a Dirty Victory Roll but Chavo kicks out. GORY BOMB into FROG SPLASH!
Chavo looked fantastic and he’s the one in the best shape in the ring. I wouldn’t be mad at more Chavito.
Jacy Jayne vs Masha Slamovich
I expect very little from this match.
Collar and Elbow, gator rolling for the first 30 seconds or so, then Jacy goes to some Hair Pull takedowns and does a little taunt before Masha pops back up and hits a Lariat into a Dive. Jacy sells it like she’s really hurt, even the ref tries to hold Masha back a little before Masha gets annoyed and just grabs her, Masha throws her in, looks for a Dive and Jacy sees it and powders. Masha tries to go back to the well for the Dive again but Jacy hits the Uppercut and then an Apron Run PK to drop Masha. Forearms rain down into a Foot Choke as Jacy continues to arrogantly play to the crowd. Another Foot Choke into a Cannonball, and near fall.
Masha gets space with a Sole Butt, tries to snap off Requiem but Jacy fights off, fights through a Sunset Flip another effective PK keeps Masha on her ass. Jacy looks for a kinda half-assed Camel Clutch as Masha is fighting up, but Jacy runs her into the corner, gets distracted mouthing off to the crowd, so Masha recovers, 5 Hole Up Kick sends Jacy into the corner, Yakuza Kick into Capo Kick for two. Requiem attempt again, but Jacy pushes off, a little back and forth, Masha tries a Backslide but Jacy gets away and hits a V-Trigger but only a 2 count. Jacy looks for the Discus Punch but Masha ducks it, they strike back and forth, but some dodges from both leave the exchange more even. Jacy with the Front Kick to the face sends Masha to the outside. Jacy wants another PK, but Masha blocks, Electric Chair Apron Snake Eyes. Masha throws her in, a PK into a near all. Requiem attempt 3, and thwarted from Jacy with a Superkick into a Neckbreaker. Senton misses from Jacy, Buzzsaw Kick, into Spinning Back Kick and Russian Death Device for the win.
Better than I expected, and Tessa attacks as soon as the bell rings. Xia Brookside and Lei Ying Li make the save after Tessa grabs the belt.
Eric Young w/two losers vs Ace Austin
Ace and Eric tie up, World of Sport start but as soon as Ace starts to get away EY punches him in the face. Eric looks at the camera and says “This is what trust looks like”, turns his back on Ace, when Ace looks to attack, the loser duo cut him off. EY takes advantage of the weird situation, but Ace with some Up and Over quick spots, into an Inside Cradle and La Magistral. EY kicks out of the quick flash attempts, but eats a Dropkick, and Ace goes all Speed Kils on him with fast strikes and then a face buster for another near fall. Strike spot very early in the match, Ace gets the best of it, goes for a Tear Drop Suplex but EY sits on it to block, Headlocks to keep him close and then a snap Lariat into beatdown bully tactics. EY takes the referee’s attention and one of the nerds punch Ace in the face.
Eric tries to lean on Ace, but Ace fires, a few strikes, Click Click Boom, the Miz Seated Lariats in the corner, Mochizuki Triangle Kick connects! Only a 2 count, but Ace seems to be in control. Ace puts EY on the ropes, a few strikes to keep him rocked, wants a Superplex, but EY blocks, bites the face and Macho Elbow gets a very close two count. EY tries the Piledriver but Ace turns it into a Jacknife Cradle,Spinning Heel Kick, calls for The Fold, but the losers hop on the apron to distract, Ace attacks them. Ace tries to time out the Triangle Kick again, but Eric dodges, throws Ace head first through the buckles. As Ace stumbles out of the corner, Piledriver, and it’s over.
Oh look it’s the “we’ll hear from Joe Hendry” segment. Again, I’ve loved this gimmick since Day 1, even didn’t hate his What Culture Pro stuff, but there is such a thing as milking a cow too much.
Elijah interrupts the whole “Who’s next” speech. When Elijah comes out he says he’s not the challenger and he believes in Joe. The crowd wants Elijah to turn on Hendry. Elijah pauses for a moment, and starts proving his friendship with stating his favorite color and a little “You Got a Friend in Me”. The crowd is into singing along and waving their cameras like Lighters to a 30 year old song. THANKFULLY Kaz breaks up the hug fest. Now he gets the “Culero” chant.
Kaz pulls out a Bass…what the hell is this Jam Session. Kaz has to warm up so he plays “La Cucaracha” on the bass. Kaz…is a national treasure. Hendry kicks Kaz out of the ring after his Heelish and playfully racially charged song choices. Kaz tries to sow dissension, but Joe and Elijah pinball Kaz between them. Kaz slips a power move and tries to shove Elijah into Joe but Elijah puts the brakes on, a small tense moment. But then Joe and Elijah play “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey, Goodbye”…and that goes right into a commercial. Oddly…perfect.
Nic Nemeth w/Ryan Nemeth vs Leon Slater
Nic shoots the half immediately for a flash pinfall but Leon kicks out at one. Nic continues to keep things grounded with his amateur wrestling skills, and then does a little Dolph Ziggler show off. So Nic isn’t really taking this seriously, and Leon starts getting the best of things with an Arm Wringer, into drag, Shoulder Tackle and rope run as Nic tries to Leap Frog and Leon puts on the brakes and just shoves Nic on his ass. Nic gets annoyed, a few strikes, grinds his face along the ropes, but Leon keeps stringing some offense together, Back Handspring Elbow into his Corner con Hilo.
Ahh the classic formula of the commercial gives the heel the advantage, Twisting Suplex from Leon stops Nic’s offense momentum, right hand, Leon lifts Nic up for something, Nic slips it, kicks him in the gut, looks for the FameAsser, but Leon catches him into a Blue Thunder Bomb variation. Slater wants the Swanton 450, but Nic powders. Leon tries to adjust into a Dive, but Nic cuts him off, counter for counter and a FameAsser out of the counters for a two count. Nic starts the big brother tactics, bootwashes and arrogance, Slater fires, punches into a Yakuza Kick. Leon wants another Lethal Injection variant, but Nic catches him into a Rear Naked Choke. Slater tries to turn it into a pin so Nic breaks it. Leon wants a Leg Lariat but misses and gets unceremoniously dropped by Nic. Nic puts Leon up on the buckles, Superplex possibly but Slater counters, tries to collect himself for a move, but Nic falls into the ropes to crotch Leon, and finally hits the Superplex.
Twist of Slate from Leon, Swanton 450 but knees get up. Locomotion Cradles from both but they kick out, Ryan picks the ankle to trip up Leon just a touch and then Danger Zone ends the match.
Ryan starts the post match beatdown, but the Hardy’s music hits and they come down to the ring for the save. Matt challenges the Nemeths for Rebellion because they’re not medically cleared yet.
Overall Score: 6.5/10
Decent story motion, no match was offensive, and there was actually some solid match action for television standards. I don’t have a ton to complain about aside from the Knockouts Division is in a weird spot, and giving Hendry a lot of just talking and hollow payoff segments feels stupid. If we need to hear from him every week, give him a talk segment like Highlight Reel or something. Yes I know First Class just got The Penthouse, but if Hendry is going to talk more than wrestle, give him a talk segment for us to sink our teeth into.
There was the announcement that Xia, Lei Ying and Masha will face Tessa, Jacy and a mystery partner. So you gotta wonder if there’s going to be another NXT mercenary, a surprise return or if it’ll just be Rosemary since she’s got her issues with Xia. Also I just realized that Unbreakable is going to be on a Thursday, seemingly after iMPACT? I’m gonna have to see how they do it, because if there’s an Impact episode and 2-3 hour PLE…I do not want to be awake until 1am. People need to work, and I will be Unwakeable if things go that long.
About Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
Classic POD is WAR
Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
Powered by RedCircle
Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (3/28/25)
SmackDown in the UK!
DWI Podcast #469: Superplex Sunday
Will John Cena win the WWE Title and retire at Wrestlemania?
Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 3.27.2025
Bad news out of the TNA management side, but this is a taped episode from El Paso! So we won't...
Mitchell’s ROH Results & Report! (3/27/25)
Is there a new Minion in town?
Mitchell’s WWE Evolve Results & Report! (3/27/25)
Evolve enters the Fourth Dimension!
POD is WAR: It All Goes Back To The Spinner Belt
Andrew Balaz, Rey Cash and PC Tunney invite you to come along on a trip inside the minds of Los...
Mitchell’s AEW Dynamite Results & Report! (3/26/25)
ThunderStorm is TIMELESS!
Greg DeMarco Show: No Stipulation Needed
CM Punk vs Seth Rollins vs Roman Reigns? Are you buying this as a WWE WrestleMania 41 match? Does it...
Mitchell’s WWE NXT Results & Report! (3/25/25)
La Primera Double Header!
Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (3/24/25)
ADRENALINE! IN GLASGOW!
