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Andrew’s Judgmental Album Reviews: Alien Weaponry – Tangaroa (2021)

The JAR has been in mostly western cabinets so far, now it’s time to make like my wrestling tastes and wander around the globe. Our first trip is to New Zealand with Alien Weaponry’s new album Tangaroa!

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The JAR has been in mostly western cabinets so far, now it’s time to make like my wrestling tastes and wander around the globe. Our first trip is to New Zealand with Alien Weaponry’s new album Tangaroa!

Alien Weaponry are a band I stumbled across about 2 years ago when bands like The Hu and Shepherd’s Reign were getting some traction. Off the strength of Kai Tangata and Ru Ana Te Whenua, I was really excited for their future. They are a young band where the entire 3 piece is either late teens or early 20s. So I could definitely respect that their 2018 album Tu was mostly in the Maori language, but you could hear some odd aspects in the songs. There are thrash metal attacks, some melodic heavy metal, a little nu metal sound at times; and let’s just say, I hope this album is a little more focused.

Now it’s time to see if the young Maori metalheads can pull off a great sophomore effort!

  • Artist: Alien Weaponry
  • Album: Tangaroa (2021)
  • Label: Napalm Records

Titokowaru starts off with pounding drums, and a nice steady guitar attack. Sonically it reminds me a bit of Urotsukidoji from Testament. So that Thrash influence is coming through nicely, but they don’t lose the melodic aspect of their song structure. It’s also cool to see them continuing to stay true to their heritage and give us a chanting anthemic Maori banger to lead with. The historical reference is apparently Titokowaru was a Maori tribal leader who was one of the most successful to oppose British colonization. Hatupatu has a really great downstroke riffing with the tribal sounding drums to get across the Maori tradition. Since Hatupatu is apparently is from Maori Mythology of being a legendary for chief after a cruel upbringing and outsmarting a deity. The sliding up the frets into the machine gun riffs does a great job at just making this song sound brutal.

Ahi Ka seems to mean something about long term occupation. So the first 3 songs are heavily influenced by the British Colonization and the Maori perspective on it. The interesting thing is this sounds soo much like a Sevendust song instrumentally it confused me for a second. They have this wah pedal affected spiral riff that sounds a lot like the riffing on the Animosity album. Tangaroa the titular song mixes in some English verses. Tangaroa is the God of the Sea in the Maori beliefs, so this is a song depicting humanities destruction of the world. “Undermining our own fate We’re trying but we’re far too late Look around you’ll get an eyeful Stuck inside a vicious cycle Oceans are becoming lifeless You think you care, but you’re self-righteous”; is such a great set of lyrics and that’s just what’s in English to be easily understood. The guitar tone is dark, the drums are heavy and really great at signifying impending doom. Sounds like it could’ve been very Slayer inspired.

Unforgiving starts off with the sound of a rain storm, really somber picking and the sadness of these first few moments is pretty palpable. When the vocals kick in, they are even strained in a pleading way for effect, I don’t mean strained as in poor singing technique. This song is so vulnerable and sad, it encapsulates a feeling of hopelessness, depression and pessimism. The one line of “we are mortal beings that must end” is either coming to terms with the fact everyone dies, or it continues the concept of the last song that we are undermining ourselves as the human race and will be our eventual undoing. Blinded keeps the English coming which helps to connect the last few songs. Because where Unforgiving stayed somber and depressed and only picked up a little toward the end, this starts in that not heavy but guitar driven song and slowly starts to get heavier. A simple song about frustrations with authority and someone not being direct with what they’re saying is JUST vague enough to apply to whatever the listener wants. Musically it’s frustrated and angry without being balls to wall fury.

Kai Whatu which translates to Eye Eater, is probably a reference to a religious leader who killed and ate people’s eyes. After hiding for some time he was captured and tried in a rigged trial so he was hung to death in late 1800s. Apparently he was recently pardoned so this won’t be seen as dated praise of a war criminal. The interesting heavy guitar, haunted backing vocal and different drumming really gives an interesting vibe, closest correlation would be like Sepultura, but it’s just really unique. Crooked Monsters continues the perspective of just watching the world slowly fall apart. Mostly an instrumental with literally one verse, but it’s cool and keeps with the theme of many of these songs. Very proud of their heritage, religion and beliefs.

Now this next song goes back to machine gun riffs and almost sounds like Bullet for My Valentine. Buried Underground, is heavy angry, sparse in the lyrics but the groove is great. I like how we do see a lot of lyrical themes with undermining or feeling undermined, things falling apart, lies and the idea of falling further down a rabbit hole. The lyrical ties (at least in the English songs) are kind of a nice element. Dad is probably the worst song, but also probably relatable for many listeners and given their young age, it makes a level of sense. The way it’s sung reminds me of like Suicidal Tendencies or John Bush era Anthrax. So it’s heavy but the way it’s sung is…hollowed out on the vocals and really whiny. Which given that it’s supposed to be about a shitty father, I guess it works and the chorus/bridge aspects are a reinforced bark of anger from everyone. Again, interesting with how they structured it, I just really hate the bulk of how it is sung. Ihenga looks to be our last Maori history lesson. Being a Maori explorer who apparently named the towns and natural edifices of the northern island. It’s got a groovy sludge element to it like Iced Earth or Pantera and then when the Maori lyrics kick in it sounds like a tribal hymnal. Chanted along with a really cool choral effect and a lot of pinch harmonics in some of the solo spots. But then we also get some kind of wooden flute sound, very tribal, very cool. The way these guys mix in their Maori heritage, history and what I’m assuming is more of a tribal Maori sound (I assume because it’s not like I have the whole of New Zealand consulting me on this). Really groovy song.

We reach the end with Down the Rabbit Hole, and their age shows through lyrically but it is a cool sounding song. It gives off like old Mudvayne vibes with train conductor tone cymbal click, a lot of crashing fills, interesting pinch effects and a distortion on the guitars to make it crunchy and moody. Which since the lyrics are about being disrespected and overlooked until people want something, it works nicely.

The deluxe edition adds in a bunch of radio edit versions of songs on the album, but that would just be redundant to go over. Either way, this album stayed in that vein they started with Tu of being very thrash influenced but have plenty of elements or complete songs that drift towards the Nu Metal sound of 1998-2009ish. I really appreciate how they walk you through Maori history and add in aspects that seem to come off very traditional while also having songs that remind you they are kids of the current generation they just know where they came from. It’s a fun balance that is very unique to this band (in my experience at least) and they do it quite well.

From Lewis de Jong’s mostly solid vocals, Henry de Jong’s mastery of the drum kit and complimenting the songs well and their new bassist Turanga Morgan-Edmonds being in pretty good sync with the drums and crunchier rhythms; this is a damn good effort where I think these kids can only get better!

Captain Planet metal will bring pollution down to zero? Maybe? Prolly not…

 

Final Judgment: 7.35/10

 

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Bandwagon Nerds #288: Disney In The Desert

Disney makes a controversial decision about where it is building its 7th theme park. Plus, loads of trailers, Thunderbolts* news, DCU updates, and more!

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Bandwagon Nerds Mario

Patrick returns to the show this week and leads the guys through a stacked Trailer Park, including the most recent previews of Old Guard 2, The Long Walk, Peacemaker Season 2, and Stick. Patrick also shares his thoughts with Dave and Tunney about Thunderbolts* and addresses some interesting rumors about what didn’t make it into the film. Meanwhile, Disney makes a very divisive decision about a 7th theme park, and President Trump’s trade war targets the film industry. It sounds crazy, but it’s true. If you are curious, we have answers, so make sure you tune in!

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Join Patrick O’Dowd, David Ungar, PC Tunney, Rey Cash, and DPP as they keep everyone up on all things nerd and maybe add some new nerds along the way. It’s the Bandwagon Nerds Podcast!

About Chairshot Radio Network

Chairshot Radio Network

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Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)

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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (5/9/25)

June will be electric!

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Prepare for the most electrifying even of the HPW calendar!

While the stage is set for Blood & Thunder 4 and the HPW World Trios Championships, HPW must also address the return of KAGE!

 

Thundra Plateau is ready.

Wrestling is Life, but life has its stormy weather. The rain is going to be hot in June, but will the reign continue through the Summer? The Dark Forces may have failed to take the Undisputed Triforce World Championship from Zelda, but they still have the World Trios Championships. Harlequin, Lupay & Glutko will step inside the double ring, double cage to defend their gold. On one side, Arrow Club’s special combination of Fin Balure, Torbevito & Bad Croc Scaly. On the other, a new combination of its own in Cia, Lana & Midna.

 

Speaking of Cia, Lana & Midna…

The three of them are together, dressed in workout attire, in what appears to be a dance studio. This is a collaboration stream for Midna and Lana as they’re both big presences on the internet, aka “influencers.” Lana and Midna wave and say hi, and they give introductions, including Cia, who is reluctant to be standing there. Cia doesn’t know why they need to do this. Lana says they have to improve their teamwork. They may have won against Los Taros Locos, but it was really sketchy there for a second. Midna adds that doing a dance routine together is great for their timing and coordination.

Cia says she didn’t mean that, she meant having to stream it! Oh, well obviously, combining Midna’s viewing audience with Lana’s, and HPW’s overall, this makes huge numbers! So? And huge money…! Cia raises her eyebrow and says, “Oh really?” The trio sets up, and Lana says obviously they first have to learn the steps. Midna brings up, “Wait, what song are we dancing to?” Oh, good point. Lana was thinking something from Lulu. Cia asks, “Lulu? From the Indigo-Go’s?” Midna says Lulu’s got a great solo album. Lana agrees! That’s so great that they like the same music. Cia isn’t as familiar with her solo stuff, so she’ll rely on them for this.

Lana suggests they go with Energetic Me. For one, it has the most energy, duh. And it still has a dance vibe, which is the whole point. Midna says she might’ve gone with Royal Discotheque or Ten Outta Ten, but she sees Lana’s point. Lana shows them the dance moves she has in mind. Left arm up, bent at the elbow, and the hand up against the side of the chest. Then they switch so the right arm goes up to mirror that position while the left hand goes back to the hip. Maybe add a little hip pop as that happens. Do that a couple times, and then turn to the right. This puts the left hand on the back of the hip, right hand on the back of the neck for a sexy pose.

Then you turn to flip it the other way, then do a 360 with a big neck whipping, hair flipping move. Then finish with feet apart and double V’s up by the eyes, maybe with a wink. Cia says, “Yeah, okay…” while Midna says, “I like it!” Midna says she’ll set up in the middle. Cia asks why Midna is in the middle, and Midna says it’s symmetry. She’s the tallest, Cia and Lana are about the same, it makes sense. Yeah, but it also means Midna is the center of attention. Well, that’s just coincidental. Lana says it doesn’t matter, the point is them doing it all in synch. Cia sighs and says, “Fine.” Midna is in the middle, Cia is on her right, and the music plays.

Left arm, right arm, left arm, right arm, pose to the right, pose to the left, 360 spin and neck whip, then double V. Midna nailed it, but Cia was lagging. Cia defends she was not, but Lana says it’s alright, they’ll just keep trying. They run through it a couple more times, they do tighten it up, and all three feel really good about how that went.

The Dark Forces are watching.

They aren’t impressed by the “little dance party.” Harlequin says the Faces of Evil are way better anyway. Especially with the classics like the Thriller dance and Macarena. Zant says, “The Macarena? Pfft, and people think I’m a dork…” Harlequin says, “Don’t you dare mock the Macarena!” Harlequin changes tabs on the computer and starts playing the song! After the introduction, he lifts his right arm up flat, then his left. Then he turns the right hand up, the left hand up, puts his right hand on his left shoulder, left hand on right shoulder, then moves right hand up behind his head, and then his left.

Now his arms crisscross, right hand on left hip and left hand on right hip, to then switch so right hand on right hip and left hand on left hip. And of course, he swivels his hips in one big circle to go with “HEY~ Macarena! AIGHT!” Zant rolls his eyes while Harlequin keeps going, jumping 90 degrees to his left. Ganon walks in, Ghirahim following behind, and he tells Harlequin to “turn that crap off.” Harlequin pouts but he does as told. Ganon seethes as he takes a seat in his big arm chair. “Needless to say… Wrestling is Life didn’t go how I’d hoped. What was Kage even doing there?! Did either of you have any idea he was going to betray us?!”

Zant and Ghirahim are a bit flustered. Zant isn’t even sure Kage was part of The Dark Forces at the time Ganon took ownership. He’d kinda gone rogue at some point, didn’t he? Ghirahim agrees, it didn’t seem like he was even aligned with Cia and the others. All the more reason for Kage to keep his nose out of Ganon’s business! If Kage cared about the Dark Forces, then he would’ve helped them fight back at HyruleMania, or any time since. Kage clearly just wants the title, same as Ganon, so he’s a dead man walking. Speaking of that… Where’s Kevin? He came back in April, why isn’t he here?

 

Somewhere dark and spooky…

Heavy footsteps can be heard echoing as Kevin Gibdo moves down the hallway. He speaks with a low, airy voice, “Majora… Your madness… spread like wildfire… You thought by setting me ablaze… I would crumble into ash… You were wrong! Instead, I have been purified…! Purged of flaws and weaknesses… I now come forth… as gold!” There’s a light at the end of the hall, and Kevin enters a grand hall, with treasure gleaming in the light. At the center is the sarcophagus. Kevin walks up to it, opens it, and then his burnt and tattered bandages fall away before he steps inside. The sarcophagus closes, then the eyes on it begin to glow… Then the entire thing glows!

The glowing becomes a shining light, and that shining becomes so bright that nothing can be seen. It is clear things between Kevin and Majora are not over. Will the Masked Monster even stand a chance once the Gibdo of All Gibdos is restored to full strength?

 

Back to the Dark Forces…

Shabonne says, “I’m sure Kevin is just fine doing whatever Gibdos do on their time off.” Tali says, “What matters is what I’m about to do to that tiny little weasel with the Goddess Championship. If The Dark Forces is gonna have all the gold, then I need to squash her like a bug and take that title off of whatever’s left!” Ganon nods and says he likes the initiative. Tali will start on her own Triple Crown as the Dark Forces will make Hyrule Pro-Wrestling their kingdom! The group cheers while raising a toast! And then Harlequin gets Glutko and Lupay to join in on the Macarena, to which Ganon groans and facepalms.

 

And so, the ThunderStruck card is set!

The double ring, double cage will rattle with Blood & Thunder as the HPW World Trios Championships are on the line! The Gerudo Ace looks to settle a grudge with the Hero’s Shadow! And now, the Million Rupee Championship and HPW Goddess Championships will also be on the line! Will the Dark Forces absolutely dominate the Summer? Be ready to endure the heat on Friday, June 20th!

About Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)

WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling) 

THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)

FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)

SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast 

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)

TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends

Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5

Classic POD is WAR


Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!

All Shows On Demand


Powered by RedCircle


Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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