Entertainment

Andrew’s Judgmental Album Reviews: Spiritbox – Eternal Blue (2021)

September gave us this lesser known Canadian band’s debut album, and it seemed to impress many 2021 lists. So the JAR decides to take a spin with Spiritbox. Check it out!

Published

3 years ago

December 19, 2021

Andrew Balaz

September gave us this lesser known Canadian band’s debut album, and it seemed to impress many 2021 lists. So the JAR decides to take a spin with Spiritbox. Check it out!

Now since this band was established in 2017 by the singer (Courtney LaPlante) and guitarist (Mike Stringer), they don’t exactly have a large catalog to pull from. I’m going into this review a bit more blind than usual because sometimes I like to see if hype is warranted.

Their info seems to say they mix a lot of different sub-genres of metal, so we’re about to learn together!

Artist: Spiritbox
Album: Eternal Blue
Label: Rise
Total Track Time: 43:12

Sun Killer the first few seconds definitely sounds like a fax machine recording through pro tools, but then when the vocals kick in they are haunting and very clear. The instrumentation is very open, we just have like the Djent down-tuned guitar and drum tone driving the general rhythm. But musically it’s mostly background noise with fantastic vocals until the chorus kicks in and the rest of the band culminates together before suddenly dropping out going back to the fax machine noise with whispered vocals of “Sun Killer, Sing Me To Sleep”. And they break the silence with Industrial Fear Factory or Twelve Foot Ninja instrumentation and screamed vocals repeating the same line that was whispered. Hurt You well this is different. I think the first song ended with male screamed vocals, but this opens with Courtney going into the screaming Djent approach with a clean chorus. This is a very…well – it’s a cool take on a toxic vindictive relationship song. I love the line” I hope you find what you’re fighting for – I am happier when I hurt you”, I thought I misheard it at first, but no…great line.

Yellowjacket (feat. Sam Carter) this has a very Sci Fi electronic vibe. The vocals are thrown through the mixer to sound robotic and faded into the music and who I’m assuming is Sam Carter, does the male vocal/duet aspect to this song. This is just extremely heavy even through the sprinkled in electro aspects. A lot of fret slides, blast beats and interesting drop-D twangy riffs. This feels like Mudvayne back when they didn’t suck. The Summit holy tone shift Batman, you go from a sludgy heavy banger to a stripped down almost acoustic sounding song. I hate drastic shifts. We go from the more Djent/Industrial sound to, what we have now, which sounds like Epica or Amaranthe. Where the song sounds…fine, I detest an illogical lack of transition. Secret Garden at least this song stays in the Epica color palate, so I can’t complain about tonal shifts. There is a very unique bass riff throughout the song though which adds to the…let’s call it ethereal vibe the song gives off. I could compare it a bit to Deftones just with lyrics more akin to introspective personal growth.

Silk in the Strings again with the fret slides, scream/growled vocals and more of the Industrial/Djent heavy vibe. Not nearly as heavy as Yellowjacket, but coming off of the previous two songs, this feels a little much. I will admit the rhythm section is dialed in here, the bass and drum really drive this song and give it a very palpable groove, but this should’ve been after Yellowjacket, with Secret Garden and The Summit following from there. The lack of consistency in the song tones is a bit annoying since the song is pretty damn good, but it feels jarring being so out of place. Holy Roller now this would’ve been a great transitional song between the slow and heavy. The bridge is a little electronic voice talking about blood into wine and typical Christian symbols. With the verses and chorus being screamed and pretty damn heavy with the blast beats. So there’s enough cute in this song to not feel out of place. Eternal Blue so the imagery is quite beautiful with using the water analogies for what seems to be anxiety or depression. It’s a gorgeous song, very atmospheric where everything compliments the lyrics and the imagery perfectly. The instrumentation is heavy enough to not stick out like other ones, and the song is so fantastic on its own merits that as much as I want to complain about its place on the album…I can’t bring myself to take away from this song.

We Live in a Strange World continuing the atmospheric beauty of the last song with a bit more of an electronic edge. This sounds like a song that Adam Lambert or Billie Eilish would do before the heavier guitars finally enter on the second usage of the chorus. Halcyon so for those who don’t know and don’t use Google, Halcyon is an ideal period of time. Comfort, happiness, implicit perfection, and this song starts off very hopeful and driving. Lyrically seems to be about a desire to lead to a halcyon life. Utilizing a lot of imagery about being brittle and self-conscious we get a flourish at the end with more screamed vocals and the heavy Djent instrumentation almost as if she’s trying to will herself to happiness come hell or high water. Very unique approach. Circle With Me hits a lot like an Evans Blue or The Birthday Massacre song where it stays in the imagery of anxiety and feeling the weight of the martyr. We finally hit a screamed super heavy bridge that incorporates the circle with me words, and it could be a cool call to the mosh pit. Not a bad song if not a little incomplete and redundant. Constance is a strong song about loss. The one line of “memories dissident” is a nice way to layer meaning in two words. Could be about just generally forgetting someone eventually after you lose them, or even dementia since the phrase memories dissident means that memories are effectively in opposition. So that’s a lot of depth from just two words and since this is the last song it definitely ends things with that dark atmospheric vibe. Maybe a little too depressing for some people, but it’s at least true to the album having this looming darkness.

I’m a little personally conflicted. Eleven of the twelve songs are really good, but that weird middle section of awkward tone shifting hurt my general opinion of the album on a whole. Eternal Blue is still a fantastic…arguably nearly perfect song. I suppose I can see why this landed so high on so many different metal album lists, however; when the band themselves admit the album has dark and atmospheric tones, that means consistency is important.

With all that said, I can’t tank the rating just because the track placement was awkward to me when the music and structure were generally masterful. Only other marginally negative thing I can say is that the album felt like 2 different bands at times. The lighter songs sound more like Epica and The Birthday Massacre had a baby, whereas the heavy stuff is more Mudvayne or Twelve Foot Ninja with female vocals. I’m rambling now, so pretty damn good album, a few hiccups I dislike, but not enough to drop this anywhere near bad.

Final Judgment: 7.9/10

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Entertainment

Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (5/9/25)

June will be electric!

Published

3 days ago

May 9, 2025

Steven Mitchell

Prepare for the most electrifying even of the HPW calendar!

While the stage is set for Blood & Thunder 4 and the HPW World Trios Championships, HPW must also address the return of KAGE!

Thundra Plateau is ready.

Wrestling is Life, but life has its stormy weather. The rain is going to be hot in June, but will the reign continue through the Summer? The Dark Forces may have failed to take the Undisputed Triforce World Championship from Zelda, but they still have the World Trios Championships. Harlequin, Lupay & Glutko will step inside the double ring, double cage to defend their gold. On one side, Arrow Club’s special combination of Fin Balure, Torbevito & Bad Croc Scaly. On the other, a new combination of its own in Cia, Lana & Midna.

Speaking of Cia, Lana & Midna…

The three of them are together, dressed in workout attire, in what appears to be a dance studio. This is a collaboration stream for Midna and Lana as they’re both big presences on the internet, aka “influencers.” Lana and Midna wave and say hi, and they give introductions, including Cia, who is reluctant to be standing there. Cia doesn’t know why they need to do this. Lana says they have to improve their teamwork. They may have won against Los Taros Locos, but it was really sketchy there for a second. Midna adds that doing a dance routine together is great for their timing and coordination.

Cia says she didn’t mean that, she meant having to stream it! Oh, well obviously, combining Midna’s viewing audience with Lana’s, and HPW’s overall, this makes huge numbers! So? And huge money…! Cia raises her eyebrow and says, “Oh really?” The trio sets up, and Lana says obviously they first have to learn the steps. Midna brings up, “Wait, what song are we dancing to?” Oh, good point. Lana was thinking something from Lulu. Cia asks, “Lulu? From the Indigo-Go’s?” Midna says Lulu’s got a great solo album. Lana agrees! That’s so great that they like the same music. Cia isn’t as familiar with her solo stuff, so she’ll rely on them for this.

Lana suggests they go with Energetic Me. For one, it has the most energy, duh. And it still has a dance vibe, which is the whole point. Midna says she might’ve gone with Royal Discotheque or Ten Outta Ten, but she sees Lana’s point. Lana shows them the dance moves she has in mind. Left arm up, bent at the elbow, and the hand up against the side of the chest. Then they switch so the right arm goes up to mirror that position while the left hand goes back to the hip. Maybe add a little hip pop as that happens. Do that a couple times, and then turn to the right. This puts the left hand on the back of the hip, right hand on the back of the neck for a sexy pose.

Then you turn to flip it the other way, then do a 360 with a big neck whipping, hair flipping move. Then finish with feet apart and double V’s up by the eyes, maybe with a wink. Cia says, “Yeah, okay…” while Midna says, “I like it!” Midna says she’ll set up in the middle. Cia asks why Midna is in the middle, and Midna says it’s symmetry. She’s the tallest, Cia and Lana are about the same, it makes sense. Yeah, but it also means Midna is the center of attention. Well, that’s just coincidental. Lana says it doesn’t matter, the point is them doing it all in synch. Cia sighs and says, “Fine.” Midna is in the middle, Cia is on her right, and the music plays.

Left arm, right arm, left arm, right arm, pose to the right, pose to the left, 360 spin and neck whip, then double V. Midna nailed it, but Cia was lagging. Cia defends she was not, but Lana says it’s alright, they’ll just keep trying. They run through it a couple more times, they do tighten it up, and all three feel really good about how that went.

The Dark Forces are watching.

They aren’t impressed by the “little dance party.” Harlequin says the Faces of Evil are way better anyway. Especially with the classics like the Thriller dance and Macarena. Zant says, “The Macarena? Pfft, and people think I’m a dork…” Harlequin says, “Don’t you dare mock the Macarena!” Harlequin changes tabs on the computer and starts playing the song! After the introduction, he lifts his right arm up flat, then his left. Then he turns the right hand up, the left hand up, puts his right hand on his left shoulder, left hand on right shoulder, then moves right hand up behind his head, and then his left.

Now his arms crisscross, right hand on left hip and left hand on right hip, to then switch so right hand on right hip and left hand on left hip. And of course, he swivels his hips in one big circle to go with “HEY~ Macarena! AIGHT!” Zant rolls his eyes while Harlequin keeps going, jumping 90 degrees to his left. Ganon walks in, Ghirahim following behind, and he tells Harlequin to “turn that crap off.” Harlequin pouts but he does as told. Ganon seethes as he takes a seat in his big arm chair. “Needless to say… Wrestling is Life didn’t go how I’d hoped. What was Kage even doing there?! Did either of you have any idea he was going to betray us?!”

Zant and Ghirahim are a bit flustered. Zant isn’t even sure Kage was part of The Dark Forces at the time Ganon took ownership. He’d kinda gone rogue at some point, didn’t he? Ghirahim agrees, it didn’t seem like he was even aligned with Cia and the others. All the more reason for Kage to keep his nose out of Ganon’s business! If Kage cared about the Dark Forces, then he would’ve helped them fight back at HyruleMania, or any time since. Kage clearly just wants the title, same as Ganon, so he’s a dead man walking. Speaking of that… Where’s Kevin? He came back in April, why isn’t he here?

Somewhere dark and spooky…

Heavy footsteps can be heard echoing as Kevin Gibdo moves down the hallway. He speaks with a low, airy voice, “Majora… Your madness… spread like wildfire… You thought by setting me ablaze… I would crumble into ash… You were wrong! Instead, I have been purified…! Purged of flaws and weaknesses… I now come forth… as gold!” There’s a light at the end of the hall, and Kevin enters a grand hall, with treasure gleaming in the light. At the center is the sarcophagus. Kevin walks up to it, opens it, and then his burnt and tattered bandages fall away before he steps inside. The sarcophagus closes, then the eyes on it begin to glow… Then the entire thing glows!

The glowing becomes a shining light, and that shining becomes so bright that nothing can be seen. It is clear things between Kevin and Majora are not over. Will the Masked Monster even stand a chance once the Gibdo of All Gibdos is restored to full strength?

Back to the Dark Forces…

Shabonne says, “I’m sure Kevin is just fine doing whatever Gibdos do on their time off.” Tali says, “What matters is what I’m about to do to that tiny little weasel with the Goddess Championship. If The Dark Forces is gonna have all the gold, then I need to squash her like a bug and take that title off of whatever’s left!” Ganon nods and says he likes the initiative. Tali will start on her own Triple Crown as the Dark Forces will make Hyrule Pro-Wrestling their kingdom! The group cheers while raising a toast! And then Harlequin gets Glutko and Lupay to join in on the Macarena, to which Ganon groans and facepalms.

And so, the ThunderStruck card is set!

The double ring, double cage will rattle with Blood & Thunder as the HPW World Trios Championships are on the line! The Gerudo Ace looks to settle a grudge with the Hero’s Shadow! And now, the Million Rupee Championship and HPW Goddess Championships will also be on the line! Will the Dark Forces absolutely dominate the Summer? Be ready to endure the heat on Friday, June 20th!

About Chairshot Radio Network

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FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)

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SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)

TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends

Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5

Classic POD is WAR

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All Shows On Demand

Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!

Bandwagon Nerds

Bandwagon Nerds #287: Filling A Void

The Nerds review Thunderbolts*, check out the latest trailers, and celebrate Star Wars Day as only they can!

Published

7 days ago

May 5, 2025

PC Tunney

The Bandwagon is stripped down this week as Dave and PC Tunney helm the ship for a big week in the Nerdosphere. Naturally, we are covering Thunderbolts as Dave, Tunney (and the rest of the Bandwagon, for that matter) all saw the latest entry into the MCU. What was the consensus, and did the longest post-credit scene in MCU history push the Universe in the right direction? In other MCU News, we discovered why Hawkeye had no second season. From there, the guys head into the Trailer Park to look at the latest, including a sizzle reel for Netflix’s TUDUM event, Dwayne “The Rock ” Johnson’s latest movie, The Smashing Machine, and a very creepy look at Weapons. GTA 6 got delayed, again….but could that be a blessing in disguise? But this Episode was recorded on Star Wars Day, and to commemorate the event, Dave tries his best to convince Tunney to watch Andor, while Tunney tells Dave what he likes most about one of the most successful franchises of all time. All that, plus Dave tells you why The Last of Us is the best show anywhere on TV. Dave & Tunney cover a lot of ground in an action-packed episode of BWN, so make sure you tune in!

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PROWRESTLINGTEES.COM/TheChairshot – Makes a GREAT GIFT!!!

About Bandwagon Nerds

Join Patrick O’Dowd, David Ungar, PC Tunney, Rey Cash, and DPP as they keep everyone up on all things nerd and maybe add some new nerds along the way. It’s the Bandwagon Nerds Podcast!