Coverage
Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (2/14/22)
One more Monday before Elimination Chamber!
The Beast is back on Raw to have the last word!
Before Elimination Chamber’s WWE World Championship match, Brock Lesnar is here on Raw to put the other five superstars on notice!
OFFICIAL RESULTS
- The Street Profits VS The Dirty Dawgs; The Street Profits win.
- WWE United States Championship: Damian Priest VS AJ Styles; Priest wins and retains the title.
- 2v1 Handicap Match: Omos VS Cedric Alexander & Shelton Benjamin; Omos wins.
- Women’s Gauntlet Match: Bianca Belair wins and enters the Elimination Chamber match last.
- WWE 24/7 Championship Bad Romance: Reggie wins and becomes the new WWE 24/7 Champion.
- The Alpha Academy VS The Mysterios; The Alpha Academy wins.
- Randy Orton VS Seth Rollins; Rollins wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
Bobby Lashley heads to the ring!
The All Mighty WWE World Champion, with MVP behind him, walks on stage, has the pyro fire off, and then continues down the ramp. Lashley has the second round of pyro go off, and he’s all smiles as MVP hands him a mic. “Before I triumphantly walk into WrestleMania your WWE Champion, I have to win one of the most brutal and gruesome matches in all of WWE: The Elimination Chamber.” This match has been known to change lives and destroy careers. But y’know what else does that? The All Mighty Lashley! There’s been so many who have tried to derail, dethrone and defeat him, but they’ve all failed, as he has destroyed every single one of them!
MVP says he sure has. MVP is no mathematician, but he’s figured out that the WWE Champion has a 1/6, or 16% chance, of winning. That doesn’t sound very good, until you factor in one very, very important variable: Seth Freakin’ Rollins, the Phenomenal AJ Styles, Matt Riddle, Austin Theory, and even the Beast Incarnate, Brock Lesnar are not All Mighty. So when you factor that in, by MVP’s calculations, Lashley has a 100% chance of walking out the same way he walks in: WWE World Champion! But here comes Seth Rollins! Rollins swaggers in his shiny snake skin suit and laughs it up. “Oh, I got some good news for you, Bob. You look great!”
But the bad news? Not as great as Rollins. But more good news: as of this moment, Lashley is currently WWE World Champion. But more bad news: Not for much longer. But even more good news: Rollins doesn’t think any of the other men in the Chamber match can beat Lashley. But even more bad news: Rollins knows someone who can. That man is a visionary, a revolutionary, and his name is Seth FREAKIN Rollins! MVP says he’s had a vision just now, too! If Rollins keeps running his mouth, he won’t make it to Elimination Chamber! “Bro…” Here comes Riddle! He scoots out in his toga and asks, “What’s with all the calculations, Bro? I thought the quiz bowl was last Monday.”
Riddle says that’s why he’s wearing this sweet toga. More on that later. Fans chant, “Toga! Toga!” But Riddle gets in the ring, and asks Rollins, “Are you saying that the Elimination Chamber is like one giant quiz bowl?” No he isn’t… Well Riddle hasn’t been in the Elimination Chamber. Last time he was locked in a tight spot was in a gas station bathroom, and it was awful! It smelled, it was brutal. But then, the custodian let Riddle out in the morning. And when Riddle saw the light, he knew he could accomplish anything. That’s why Riddle is confident that HE will win that WWE Championship Elimination Chamber match.
Rollins laughs but Riddle says, “Could you imagine if I was WWE Champion?” And then RKBRO is gonna win back those Raw Tag Teams Championships, and Riddle will be a double champion! That’d be pretty cool. But what’d be even cooler would be if they all came to the RKBROGA party. Maybe not Rollins. That suit would look sick under a toga, but Rollins has to get ready for a match with Riddle’s best friend, Randy Orton! But Lashley doesn’t have a match tonight, and Lashley would look amazing in a toga! Indy, what do you say? Lashley in a toga! Toga! But here comes Austin Theory.
Theory “apologizes” for interrupting the party, but then riddle says the party is later. Theory says Vince McMahon has taught him a lot, like expect the unexpected. And if you can’t beat your opponent one way, find another. And apologies are just weaknesses! Theory will apply all those lessons in the Elimination Chamber match, and being Mr. McMahon’s hands-on prodigy, Theory HAS to win! The fans boo and Theory tells them to shut up. But here comes AJ Styles! Styles asks Theory what he’s talking about. Theory’s lips have been on Vince’s ass for so long, he doesn’t make sense anymore.
Theory isn’t the one to worry about, Styles is! He’s been in this match, it’s hellish and brutal, and we’ve all decided that the odds are in no one’s favor. Styles says you walk out of the Chamber walk out a completely different person, but that’s the price they pay! Styles doesn’t want to look back with regrets about how he could’ve done more. So Lashley, no one, including you, is gonna stop Styles from having a defining WrestleMania moment. And before Riddle even starts, Styles can’t believe he’s saying this, but yeah, that’s a sweet toga. Thanks, AJ! And furthermore, the whole thing about being a double champion, that’s pretty cool.
See, Styles is facing Damian Priest tonight. He could be walking into WrestleMania United States AND World Champion! That would be a Mania moment! Riddle says, “You know what else would be an amazing, even phenomenal, moment? If you came to my RKBROGA party.” Lashley has everyone stop. This is ridiculous. He is the only one here who has even won a Chamber match! Theory is too wet behind the ears. He needs to wait. Seth Rollins, if he were really a Visionary, he’d see that there is no way he’s winning. Then there’s Riddle. If he thinks he’s winning, then come down off the cloud you’re on, bro,
As for Styles, Lashley is sorry but the Phenomenal One is not gonna get that moment he so hoped and dreamed for. And Lesnar, wherever you are, this is the closest you’re ever getting to this title again. Lashley will beat Lesnar up, then walk away and go to WrestleMania as your WWE CHAMPION! But here comes Lesnar! And he’s wearing a cowboy hat! Lesnar gives a tip of the hat before he heads down to the ring. He circles it once, gets in the ring, and puts his jacket and hat on Theory like he’s just a coat rack! Lesnar then stares down with Lashley, but MVP has Lashley stand down. But Theory JUJMPS on Lesnar!
Lesnar throws Theory off, everyone else gets out of the ring, and Lesnar GERMAN SUPLEXES Theory! Theory flounders while Lesnar stares Lashley down again. Rollins is enjoying this as much as Indianapolis is, and fans want that “ONE MORE TIME!” Lesnar drags Theory up, fireman’s carries, F5! Lashley isn’t intimidated, he raises his belt. But Lesnar aims finger guns at him. And then Lesnar gives Theory a free selfie! Will the Beast turn the Elimination Chamber into Suplex City? Or will he be denied his Winner Takes All with Roman Reigns?
The Street Profits are fired up backstage.
Angelo Dawkins asks if anyone else saw Theory take that F5. Montez Ford says theory has it that Theory is still spinning. But real talk, who they betting on? Well, let’s put it this way: If your name isn’t “Brock Lesnar,” you’re in trouble! But tonight is a very special SyFy edition of Raw, once again with a commercial free first hour! There’s the US Championship match, Priest VS Styles! Then there’s the RKBROGA party! BROGA! BROGA! Wait, hold up, last but not least, The Viper Randy Orton VS Seth FREAKIN’ Rollins! Dawkins hears that!
But first, they’ve got business with the Dirty Dawgs. Unlike most teams, they get the dub! Because the Street Profits are up, and we want the smoke! But just a night removed from the Super Bowl, will the Profits be looking like the Rams? Or end up choking like the Bengals?
The Street Profits VS The Dirty Dawgs!
Tommaso Ciampa surprises Dolph Ziggler by being on commentary, given how Ziggler surprised everyone by showing up on NXT last week. The teams sort out, Ziggler starts with Ford, and Ford dropkicks Ziggler at the bell! Ford runs to SPLASH! Cover, Roode breaks it! Ciampa likes what he’s seeing, and notes how long it’s been since he was last on Raw. Roode distracts Ford, Ziggler CHOP BLOCKS Ford, then tags in Roode. The Dawgs mug Ford, the ref reprimands, but Ford counter punches Roode, ROCKS Ziggler, and again! But Roode catches Ford for an URENAGE! Cover, TWO!
Ciampa says Ziggler is the one who came into his home and dared to say he wants the NXT Championship, a title synonymous with Ciampa. If Ziggler wants that title, then he has to go through Ciampa. Roode tags Ziggler, and gives him an alley-oop for a FLYING FAMOUSER! Cover, Dawkins breaks it! Ziggler complains but then drags Ford up and claws the eyes! The ref counts, Ziggler lets off at 4, and Ciampa says he doesn’t like how Ziggler glosses over his time in NXT like it’s some minor league. Ziggler drags Ford up, reels him in, but Ford lands on his feet out of the back suplex, to ENZIGURI!
Both men are down, they crawl for their corners as fans rally, hot tags to Roode and Dawkins! Dawkins counter punches Roode, rallies with clotheslines then whips. Roode reverses, Dawkins hurdles and FLYING ELBOWS! Ziggler gets in, tog et an EXPLODER! Dawkins hits a CYCLONE SPLAASH on Roode! Roode avoids the bulldog for a SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Both Roode and Dawkins are down, and Ciampa gives applause to Ziggler. Ziggler shows Superkick, but Ciampa throws his drink at him! Ciampa asks if Ziggler’s a funny guy. Dawkins gives Roode a SPINEBUSTER! Tag to Ford, FROM THE HEAVENS! Cover, Profits win!
Winners: The Street Profits, by pinfall
A big win for Ford & Dawkins, but Ziggler SUPERKICKS Ciampa now! But the Profits put Ziggler in, whip and- NOPE, Ziggler avoids the spinebuster! The Show-Off survives the Profits and riles up the Psycho Killer, will Ciampa get even on NXT Vengeance Day?
The RKBROGA Party is underway backstage!
Apollo Crews and Commander Azeez partake, as do Carmella and Queen Zelina Vega. Zelina says Mella looks gorgeous in her modified toga. Riddle says aloha, how are his brogas and brogettes? They ready to really party? Wait, where’s Randy? No idea, Vega didn’t invite him, because this is her party. What? No it’s not. This is Riddle’s Broga party. BROGA! BROGA! BROGA! The others join in, and Randy is watching from somewhere else. Kevin Patrick asks Orton why he’s avoiding the party. Well, Orton just isn’t the broga kinda guy. Plus, he has a match with Rollins tonight, and Rollins is exactly what Orton told Riddle last week. He’s one of the most crafty superstars around.
There’s a reason Rollins is an Architect. He’s always planning his next move. And Rollins surely has a plan for how to steal the world title at the Elimination Chamber. But that’s Saturday. Tonight is Monday Night Raw. And since it’s Monday, Rollins will get hit with the three most destructive letters in sports entertainment: R K O. Will the Viper strike the Visionary and ruin Rollins’ momentum?
WWE celebrates Black History Month.
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson narrates as WWE looks back on the career of his father, Rocky Johnson. “Power and charisma. A Herculean physique with unparalleled athleticism. That was the Soul Man, Rocky Johnson. And that was my dad.” Rocky Johnson & Tony Atlas became the Soul Patrol, the first African-American WWF Tag Team Champions. Outside the ring, Rocky married Ata, daughter of Peter Mavia, and then they would have a son, “Dewey.” The Rock’s father trained him in the world of sports entertainment, and he carried on the legacy by entertaining the millions (and millions!) of fans around the world.
In 2008, Rocky Johnson was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame by The Rock. Rocky was one of the most dynamic performers of all time, and is remembered for paving the road for all athletes, no matter their race, color or creed. His legacy will be remembered for generations to come. “Thank you, Dad, for paving the way. I’ll see you down the road.”
Kevin Owens speaks.
“Look, I’m a realist. I don’t kid myself, I don’t live in delusion. At this point, I don’t think I’ll be in the Elimination Chamber match, which means I probably won’t be at WrestleMania this year. And that… And that really bothers me. But the one good thing about not being on WrestleMania means that I won’t have to compete in Dallas, Texas.” Last week, Kevin had glowing things to say about Texas. And after he did, WWE went on social media to conduct a poll. And the people of Texas called Kevin names! They questioned his integrity! To touch on that, Kevin WAS lying! But now he’s telling us the truth: “I can’t stand Texas anymore than I can stand anyone from Indianapolis.”
Kevin despises Texas and everything about it. he’s from Quebec, Canada, where the populace is informed, intelligent and sophisticated. Unlike Texas, where there are nothing but “redneck morons” with a Southern drawl! To drive this point home, if North America was the human body, Texas would be the ass! “Howdy, pardner!” Kevin laughs at his own mockery, but at least he’s honest. Will Texas have something to say about that soon enough?
WWE United States Championship: Damian Priest VS AJ Styles!
The Archer of Infamy couldn’t shoot down the Phenomenal One last week, and that’s why they’re having a championship rematch! Will Styles be on the doorstep of becoming the most phenomenal double champion? Or will Priest keep him from bringing this belt into the Elimination Chamber?
The introductions are made, the title is raised, and we see if Priest wins, or Damian loses his cool!
The two approach, Styles gets around to headlock, but Priest powers up and out. Styles stops himself as Priest drops down, and Styles gets the headlock back. Priest rolls Styles off, then arm-drags Styles around. Priest clamps on with an armlock but fans chant for Styles. Styles fights up, throws forearms, then gets a leg. Priest ROCKS Styles back, then reels him in for knees. Priest runs, but Styles hurdles then CHOPS! And CHOPS! Priest whips to ROCK Styles with uppercut after uppercut, then a HEADBUTT! Priest ROCKS Styles again, throws more hands, then whips corner to corner. Styles reverse to KICK and CHOP and forearm!
Styles whips, Priest blocks! Priest whips Styles back, scoops him and hits a BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Styles is still in this but Priest sits him up to clamp on a chinlock! Fans rally, Styles fights up, then throws body shots. Priest gives back kick after kick then a ROLLING ELBOW! Styles BOOTS, then fires off the Phenomenal Blitz! LARIAT! Priest flounders to a corner, Styles runs in to clothesline! Snapmare and SLIDING FOREARM! Styles fires up, Indy fires up with him. Styles reels Priest in, but Priest slips out and fireman’s carries for a FLAPJACK! Priest gets Styles up, reels him in to gut wrench, Canadian rack to CLIFFHANGER DDT! Cover, TWO!
Priest snarls, but he keeps his cool. Styles rises as fans rally, and Priest runs in. Styles dodges the kick and clothesline to PELE! Priest falls down but Styles still has to push himself back up. Priest also rises, Styles runs in to clothesline Priest out of the ring! Styles catchesh is breath, then slingshots, but Priest avoids the plancha to trip Styles on the apron! Choke grip, APRON- NO! Styles lands on the apron to PENALTY KICK! Priest avoids the knee to sweep the legs! Styles crashes on the apron, Priest gets in to drag him up. Styles ROCKS Priest back, but Priest dodges, only for Styles to avoid the kick! Styles ROCKS Priest again, but Priest BOOTS him!
Priest steadies himself, runs, he waits on the springboard! Sunset flip, Priest wins!
Winner: Damian Priest, by pinfall (still WWE US Champion)
Priest saw Styles trying to repeat last week, and he changed the ending! Priest is still champion, and Styles shows him respect with a handshake. Will Styles try again sometime later on this Road to WrestleMania?
Alexa Bliss has another therapy session.
Other than that grocery story incident, last week was really good progress for her. She’s not being aggressive at all, but what about feeling anger? To be honest, for the first time in a long time, Alexa’s life is good. She’s happy. Then she’s entitled to a gift. When she hears the word, “gift,” what would she ask for? For the music to stop. Oh, okay. He turns off the violin music, and says he has another gift for her. He brings out the remnants of the actual Lily! He recovered these, and says it is his gift to her so that she can be at peace. Alexa takes a breath, and smiles. The doctor also presents the substitute Lily again. He has an idea: the substitute has a zipper on its back.
2v1 Handicap Match: Omos VS Cedric Alexander & Shelton Benjamin!
No one person has beaten the Mountain of a Man yet, but will bumping the number up make the difference? Or will the Hurt Business be the ones feeling the pain?
Benjamin & Alexander flank the ring. Omos pays attention to Benjamin so Alexander rushes in, only to get caught with an iron claw! The bell rings, Omos laughs as he squeezes Alexander’s head! Omos TOSSES Alexander to the corner, and he dares Benjamin to try something. Alexander tags Benjamin in, then bails out real quick. Benjamin talks trash, Alexander swipes at Omos! Benjamin gets in to fire off haymakers! Omos wobbles but he blocks the whip! Omos reels Benjamin in to glare him in the eye. Omos then whips Benjamin into the corner, but Benjamin dodges the splash!
Benjamin steps up to KNEE, then tags in Alexander. Omos shoves Benjamin, catches Alexander’s springboard, and then BOOTS Benjamin before bringing Alexander out for the MOUNTAINTOP SLAM! Cover, Omos wins!
Winner: Omos, by pinfall
Nope, not even two men can stop him! Will anyone be able to stop the walking, taking tower that is Omos?
Dana Brooke & Reggie are on a Valentine’s Day friend date.
They toast and Dana thanks Reggie for bringing her here. The food looks amazing. Reggie says Dana looks amazing. But in walk Tamina and Akira Tozawa. They hurry to sit down at a table nearby. Tozawa asks what she’s gonna have. Shh! They’re not here to eat, remember? They’ve got a plan to take the 24/7 Championship. Will these two be able to get the gold before dessert?
The BROGA Party continues!
And it seems Bros Apollo and Azeez are dominating beer pong! Riddle and Kevin Patrick just can’t catch a break. But don’t sweat it. Kevin looks amazing in his toga. Oh, the Profits are here! Aww yeah~! They took care o’ business with the Dawgs, and hear ye, hear ye, they heard there was a pahty. Who got next? Dawkins do! SCORE! BROGA! BROGA! Apollo and Azeez frown, their winning streak in jeopardy.
Adam Pearce is in the ring.
“Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for the contract signing to make official the Raw Women’s Championship match at The Elimination Chamber. Without further ado, please join me in welcoming the challenger, WWE Hall of Famer, Lita!” Indy loves Lita and gives her a standing ovation as she makes her way out to the ring. And of course, the champion, “Big Time Becks,” Becky Lynch! The Man comes ’round, but she doesn’t look in any good mood. She’s got baggy plaid pants, a wrinkled denim jacket, frizzled out hair, and big sunglasses to cover up what’re probably puffy eyes. Becky scowls as she sits at the desk with the others.
Pearce says their signatures on the contract make it official. Becky begs Lita that she doesn’t have to do this. She’ll be honest, she hasn’t slept all week thinking about this. Thinking about her teen hero would come for her. Her teen hero assaulting her! But Becky will let it all slide if they tear up the contract and walk away. Lita’s had a great career! One of the best ever! Becky said there’d be no Becky without Lita. What does she have left to prove? Leave now while your legacy is in tact! Lita doesn’t want to fight Becky and Becky doesn’t want to fight Lita! The only ones to see them fight are the demented fans who get off on ruining people’s lives!
When Becky and Lita are happy, the fans are miserable! When Becky and Lita are miserable, the fans are happy! They don’t need to play into the fans’ sick game! The fans don’t decide their fate, they do! What does Lita say? Lita wants to get this right. Should she tear the contract up and walk away? “NO~!” Or sign it up and shut Becky up for good? “YES~!” Lita says she didn’t come this far just to walk away. In fact, she didn’t come here just for one more match. She’s got a whole run left! A championship run. And Lita knows Becky’s trying to talk her out of this because Becky’s scared. She saw Lita still has what it takes.
So Becky doesn’t have to like it, but the match is happening. Lita signs on the dotted line! Becky sys Lita is pushing her to a point that she doesn’t wanna go to or can come back from. Lita has no idea what Becky is capable of doing to keep the title. She has studied Lita’s career closer than anyone, and knows all her weaknesses! Becky isn’t afraid to go for the throat! And then Lita will be the one who made Becky do it. Fans remember Lita now with a smile on her face. But after Becky’s done, they’ll remember Lita with tears in their eyes. Becky signs her part, and Lita says Becky feels there is no Becky without Lita. But if Lita had a hand in creating this, then it’s up to her to finish it.
But the only thing ending on Saturday is the 500+ day title reign when Lita becomes the NEW Raw Women’s Champion. Becky throws the clipboard at Lita, then sulks out of the ring. Is Becky’s mood only going to get worse these last five days? Or is it all mind games before the fight?
Women’s Gauntlet Match!
This match has HUGE implications on how the Raw Women’s Championship #1 Contender’s Elimination Chamber match plays out! The one who survives the gauntlet gets to enter that chamber match LAST! But who is out here first? The Nightmare, Rhea Ripley, and her former friend, Nikki A.S.H! Will Rhea’s brutality crush Nikki long before this Saturday? Or will the Almost Super “Hero” power through to the end?
Rhea Ripley VS Nikki A.S.H!
Raw goes picture in picture as these two stare down. The bell rings, the two circle slowly, and then they tie up. Nikki gets around, pulls hair and pushes Rhea, but then runs away to the outside! Rhea says she got that close to catching her. Nikki smiles and makes her way back up to the apron, only to back away when Rhea steps forward. Nikki goes around the ring, slips in then back out, all to troll Rhea. Then Nikki grabs Rhea’s foot! Rhea kicks Nikki away, drags her back up, but Nikki hotshots Rhea! Nikki gets in, but Rhea HEADBUTTS her! Nikki flounders back out, Rhea gets her on the apron and TOSSES her back in!
Nikki wants mercy then bails out again. Rhea sighs and just waits on Nikki. The only way to move on is in the ring, after all. Nikki lurks around the corner, moves around to the other side and gets on the apron, but then scurries around the other corner. Nikki gets in, circles with Rhea, and they tie up. Rhea shoves Nikki down, and then waits on her to get back up. They circle again, Nikki suckers Rhea into a HOTSHOT! Nikki hammers away on Rhea, headlocks then chinlocks, and even gets the arms for a straitjacket stretch. Nikki pulls back but Rhea fights up. Rhea turns but Nikki throws her down by her hair! Cover, ONE!
Nikki tries again, ONE! And again, TWO! Nikki is annoyed, she drags Rhea up, then kicks her low. Nikki puts Rhea on ropes to scrape her against them! the ref reprimands, Nikki lets off to stomp and RAM into Rhea at the corner. Nikki poses, then runs in, but Rhea puts her on the apron. Nikki shoulders in as Raw returns to single picture. Nikki ducks Rhea’s boot, trips Rhea up, and then spins her around to tuck her in the apron skirt! Nikki mugs Rhea, the ref counts and Nikki lets off at 4. Nikki has a devious grin as she then drags Rhea out. Nikki says Rhea is NOT the good guy here! Nikki runs and CLOBBERS Rhea! Cover, TWO!
Nikki keep son Rhea with a top wristlock. Rhea endures, fans rally up, and Rhea fights up, only for Nikki to wrangle her down. Nikki digs a knee into Rhea’s head as she keeps on the armlock. Cover, ONE! Nikki gets the top wristlock back but Rhea still endures. Rhea fights up, snapmares free, and she runs to the corner. Nikki dropkicks the legs out! Nikki then dribbles Rhea off the buckles over and over! The ref counts, Nikki lets off at 4 and snarls. Nikki stomps Rhea’s legs, then stomps Rhea’s head. Nikki scuffs Rhea but Rhea throws body shots! Rhea fights up to fire off forearms, but Nikki kicks the leg out!
Nikki kicks Rhea while she’s down, Rhea tries to hit back, but Nikki keeps her down with a facelock. Nikki cravats, grinds, but fans rally up. Rhea fights up, throws body shots, and breaks free to back suplex, only for Nikki to fight that off. Rhea gives Nikki short arm clotheslines instead! Then a back suplex FACEBUSTER! Fans fire up as Rhea drags Nikki up. Pump handle, RIP- NO! Nikki pulls hair to get out, and she CLUBS Rhea on the neck! Nikki hurries for a corner, but Rhea chases after! Nikki ROCKS Rhea, goes up the ropes, BOOTS Rhea, then leaps! Rhea catches Nikki and pops her around, pump handle and RIPTIDE! Cover, Rhea ELIMINATES Nikki!
But here comes Liv Morgan! Can she capitalize on the damage Nikki did to Rhea? We’ll see, after the break!
Rhea Ripley VS Liv Morgan!
Raw returns and the bell rings. Liv rolls Rhea, TWO! Rhea goes for a leg but Liv blocks and turns Rhea to backslide! TWO, and Liv gets Rhea in a cradle! ONE, Rhea kicks low. Rhea catches her breath, runs in, but Liv goes up to roll Rhea again! ONE, Liv SHOTGUNS Rhea to the corner! Liv runs in, back body blocks and rolls, to SHINING WIZARD! Liv snapmares Rhea, covers, TWO! Liv clamps on with a chinlock and squeezes tight. Rhea endures, fans rally, and Rhea fights up, but Liv wrangles her down. Liv keeps Rhea from ropes, but Rhea fights up again. Liv hops on to be a backpack, but Rhea RAMS her into buckles!
Rhea RAMS Liv in again and again, gets free and she snapmares Liv away. Liv runs in but Rhea dodges! Lia hits buckles. Rhea Electric Chair Lifts for a FACEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Liv is still in this but Rhea keeps her cool. Rhea drags Liv up, whips her to ropes, but Liv reverses. Rhea blocks that, but Liv dodges kicks. Rhea SUPERKICKS, but Liv rebounds, rolls, but no rana! Rhea swings Liv back up, but Liv makes it a FACEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Rhea is still in this and Liv grows frustrated. Liv watches Rhea get up, then runs in, but no ObLivion! Liv ROCKS Rhea then goes up the ropes, missile dropkick flops!
Rhea gets the legs, PRISM TRAP!! Liv flails, scrambles, ROPEBREAK! Rhea holds on, Liv goes up the ropes to swing and send Rhea into buckles! Liv runs in, DOUBLE- NO! Another Electric Chair Lift! Rhea makes it a fireman’s carry and throws Liv, but Liv handsprings through to land on her feet! Rhea SUPERKICKS again! Liv staggers, Rhea pump handles, RIPTIDE!! Cover, Rhea ELIMINATES Liv! Two down, but here comes Doudrop! Will Rhea’s run end in round three? We see, after the break.
Rhea Ripley VS “Doudrop” Piper Niven!
Raw returns again and the bell rings on this round. The two circle, tie up, and are in a deadlock. Piper powers Rhea back, but Rhea manages to power Piper back! Piper pushes Rhea back again but Rhea turns things around to put Piper in the corner. Piper turns it back around, the ref counts, Rhea powers out of the corner, still tie dup with Piper. Piper headlocks, Rhea throws body shots but Piper grinds the hold. Rhea throws more body shots, powers out, but Piper RAMS shoulders with her! Neither falls, Rhea says Piper will have to do better than that. Fans rally behind Rhea, Piper dares her to try.
Rhea runs, RAMS Piper, but Piper stays up and laughs it off. They both talk some smack, Piper fakes the run but Rhea dodges her cheap shot! Rhea rebounds to run Piper over! Rhea dusts herself off, Piper gets up and gets in Rhea’s face. Piper HEADBUTTS, so Rhea HEAEDBUTTS! Rhea swings, into Piper’s SAIDO! Piper runs in, SENTON! Cover, TWO! Piper stays cool and she KICKS Rhea in the side. Piper drags Rhea up, bumps her off buckles, then CLUBS Rhea in the chest in the corner. Rhea sputters as she goes along the ropes, but Piper HEADBUTTS her. Piper wrenches, HEADBUTTS the arm, then does it again!
Rhea throws body shots and forearms, but Piper ROCKS her with one! Piper drags Rhea into the facelock, then scoop SLAMS her! Piper runs, but Rhea dodges the senton! And basement dropkicks in return! Rhea growls, fans fire up, and Rhea drags Piper up. Rhea throws short arm clotheslines but Piper stays up! Piper reels Rhea in for a short arm clothesline of her own! Rhea stays up, they start trading clotheslines with! Rhea then gets around Piper’s to ripcord and DROPKICK! Cover, TWO! Rhea drags Piper up, pump handles, but Piper’s too big! Piper elbows free! Piper HEADBUTTS again!
Piper scoops Rhea, but Rhea slips out to waistlock! Rhea can’t lift Piper, Piper elbows free again. Piper runs, into a ROUNDHOUSE! Rhea tries again, pump handle RIPTIDE!!! Cover, Rhea ELIMINATES Piper!! But that just means Rhea has to take on the E S T! She’s the strongEST and toughEST, and with her at 100%, will this be the easiEST round for Bianca?
Rhea Ripley VS Bianca Belair!
Raw goes picture in picture while Bianca gets the fans fired up. The bell rings and these two circle. Bianca’s got so much energy, she’s shaking the ring. They tie up, Bianca gets around to roll up, TWO! Bianca says it was that close. Bianca waits on Rhea, and the two circle again. They tie up, Rhea gets around to roll Bianca, TWO! Bianca says that was good, and the two reset again. They tie up, Bianca waistlocks, but Rhea holds it off. Bianca SLAMS Rhea down, keeps on the waistlock, but Rhea fights up. Rhea pries at the hold, gets free to switch, and she SLAMS Bianca this time! Rhea holds onto the waistlock but Bianca headlocks back.
Rhea squeezes on a rear bearhug, but Bianca fights up to get that headlock. Rhea endures, powers out, but Bianca runs her over! Bianca SLAPS Rhea, then STANDING MOONSAULTS! Cover, TWO! Bianca keeps cool, but Rhea hits back. Bianca CLUBS Rhea, drags her up, then bumps her off buckles. Bianca gets fans going but Rhea throws a body shot. So Bianca bumps her off another buckle! Bianca whips corner to corner, Rhea reverses and Bianca hits buckles hard! Bianca hits the mat, Rhea catches her breath, and Rhea storms over to Bianca. Bianca shoves her, then dodges her to put her in the corner.
Bianca blocks Rhea’s boots, Raw returns to single picture and Bianca DROPS Rhea! Cover, TWO!! Rhea is still in this, and Rhea gets the ropes. Bianca drags Rhea up, scoops her and SLAMS her! Rhea gets up, Bianca scoops her again, but Rhea slips out! Rhea scoops, Bianca slips out, rolls Rhea up, TWO!! Rhea gets up, but Bianca trips her to a jackknife, TWO! Bianca kicks Rhea low, whips her to a corner, but Rhea reverses again. Rhea runs in, into an elbow! Bianca goes up, tells Rhea to kiss this, then flips up over Rhea! Rhea swings, Bianca catches her and spins her, snap suplex! Roll through, but Rhea blocks the second suplex!
Rhea tries but Bianca blocks now. They fight for suplex control, Bianca gets Rhea up, and marches around before the SLAM! Cover, TWO! Rhea survives but Bianca is amused. Bianca drags Rhea up, whips, and catches Rhea to a cobra twist! Rhea endures being bent and stretched, and she grabs the hair! Bianca CLUBS Rhea in the ribs, then digs a claw into the side. Rhea still endures, fans rally and duel, and Rhea powers out! Bianca blocks the hip toss to give a hip toss! Bianca runs in at the corner, but Rhea drop toeholds her into buckles! Rhea gets up, Bianca swings but Rhea spins her, cravat and knees!
Rhea snapmares Bianca, runs and basement dropkicks but misses! Bianca hurries to handspring and MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Bianca grows frustrated but she drags Rhea back up. Rhea HEADBUTTS! Rhea wobbles, but she gets Bianca up to whip. Bianca goes up and over and handsprings, but runs into BOOTS! Rhea runs but Bianca dodges, DOUBLE FACEBUSTERS! Both women are down, Rhea flounders to the ropes and then the apron. Bianca grits her teeth and pursues as the fans fire up. Bianca gets Rhea up but Rhea sends Bianca into the steel steps! Both women are down on the outside as Raw goes to break!
Raw returns once again, and Rhea fights the chicken wings. Bianca still gets Rhea up, but Rhea fights free. Bianca stomps her down, then tries the chicken wings again. Rhea still fights, but Bianca hits the GlamEST Slam! Cover, TWO!! Rhea is still in this, Bianca is losing her cool. Bianca stands Rhea up, but Rhea ROUNDHOUSES! Pump handle, RIP- NO! Bianca slips out, torture racks, but Rhea fights off! Rhea boots but Bianca blocks! Bianca dumps Rhea to the outside, but Rhea stops the buckle bump to give the buckle bump! Rhea adjusts, goes up top, but Bianca ROCKS her first! Rhea ROCKS Bianca fast!
Rhea talks trash, Bianca SLAPS her! Rhea SLAPS back! “Bring it!!” Bianca SLAPS, Rhea SLAPS, it’s a SLAP fight!! The ref tells them to stop, but they’re still brawling. Rhea boots Bianca, Bianca dropkicks Rhea! Rhea holds onto the top, and perhaps her top? Bianca trophy lifts to ROCKET LAUNCH Rhea! Fans fire up with Bianca, and she handsprings, onto knees! Rhea saves herself and both women are down! Rhea and Bianca slowly stir as the fans rally up. Rhea goes up the corner, saying she’s gonna end this! Bianca stands, Rhea leaps, BIG missile dropkick! Cover, TWO!! Rhea can’t believe she hasn’t finished this!
Rhea hurries to get the legs! PRISM TRAP!! Bianca endures, rolls, and throws Rhea into ropes! Then she hits a SPINEBUSTER! Bianca hurries to get Rhea up, torture racks, KISS OF DEATH!! Cover, Bianca wins!!
Winner: Bianca Belair, by pinfall (has Elimination Chamber advantage)
Bianca won, but she shows respect to Rhea. They fist bump, and Bianca might need to rethink that toughEST part. Rhea proved she can last a bloody long time, but will she have to do it all again this Saturday? Or will we see very much the same thing as we saw here tonight?
The BROGA Party continues, again!
Riddle has a guitar and plays a song. “I gave my love a cherry, that had no stone. I gave my love a story, that had-” The Alpha Academy attacks! They ruin the party and Chad Gable says he’s sick of this crap. He JAMS Riddle with his own guitar! “Party’s over, bro.” Gable laughs as he and Otis leave. Will RKBRO make them pay for this when the Raw Tag Team titles are on the line?
Reggie and Dana are almost done with their meal.
It was all great, but Dana’s still got room for dessert. Reggie says he’s stuffed. The obviously disguised R-Truth walks up and offers them some “tear a me the soo.” Reggie tells Dana to run while he keeps Truth back! Dana runs, but into Tamina! She ducks the haymaker to DECKS Tamina, then she throws Tozawa into Tamina! The chase is on through the restaurant! The ref has some dessert, but Dana pops out from a hiding spot. Her best friend saved her again! Big kiss on the cheek. Reggie asks if Dana would like to take their friendship to another level. Dana apologizes for leading Reggie on. He’ll make some woman happy some day but she doesn’t see him like that.
Oh, alright. Friends it is. And then roll up! The ref comes back in time, Reggie wins!!
Winner: Reggie, by pinfall (NEW WWE 24/7 Champion)
Friendship does have its perks. Reggie leaves Dana behind and Truth says, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Dana! Looks like Cupid don’t like the friend zone!” Now, after Reggie! Dana feels betrayed, but then she gets stuck with the bill. Insult to injury, will Dana get back at Reggie’s rejection?
The Alpha Academy VS The Mysterios!
Gable & Otis just ruined Riddle’s good times, but will they overlook Rey & Dominik and lose on the way to their rematch with RKBRO? Or will Gable teach the father-son team a thing or two about teamwork?
Raw returns as the tag team champions make their entrance. And Gable has Mike Rome “SHOOSH!” Gable says everyone needs to shoosh or they’ll all be put on double secret probation. Well, they are in Indiana, so chances are the fans already are on probation. But now that the Academy ended that BROGA Party, time to get down to brass tax. Less entertainment, more education! And it’s coming at ya in the form of Gable’s first ever Public Assembly! Tonight’s topic: cheaters! Gable’s never cheated! Not to make the Olympics, not to win these tag titles, and not to get his Master’s Degree with a 4.0 GPA! Thank you!
Gable despises cheaters, and the worst of the worst is RKBRO! There is misinformation that RKBRO won fair and square in the Academy Challenge. Those morons hired an Irishman to host the spelling bee! The accent was thicker than Otis’ neck! And then the quiz bowl! Who put cartoons in as a category!? It should’ve been a question on Michelangelo the painter, and here we are talking about the Ninja Turtles! Pathetic. Then there’s “the morons” of the WWE Universe, feeding RKBRO answer after answer, helping them win. Where were the fans when the Academy needed them!? Nowhere to be found!
That’s the problem these days! The fans worship cheaters! It’s disgusting! And so listen up! Especially the Mysterios, and young Dominik. Such an illustrious career, but Dom’s listening to conman Rey that cheating is the way! Just look at footage from last week! Maryse tried to cheat for Miz, but failed. Rey cheats for Miz and gets away with it! Tsk tsk tsk. Disgusting and shameful! But Dom raises Rey’s hand and fans cheer. Gable knew it! They worship cheaters, and it’s gross! But wait, here come the It Couple! Miz & Maryse strut out because they’re going to be on commentary for this match! Raw goes picture in picture as they make their way down.
Miz and Maryse take their seats. the teams sort out and Gable starts against Dom. They circle, Dom goes up the corner to get the fans fired up. Gable raises his hands, the fans boo. The two tie up, Gable wrenches and wristlocks to YANK the arm. Gable grinds the shoulder, Dom moves around, but Gable whips him to ropes. Gable waistlocks, SLAMS Dom down, then holds on tight. Dom fights up, but Gable SLAMS him down again! Roll to a bridge, TWO! They fight up, Dom moves around and throws Gable out! Gable hurries back in, but into an arm-drag! And another! Dom has the armlock now and he grinds Gable.
Rey rallies the fans, Gable fight sup but Rey tags in. The Mysterios double whip then back elbow. Rey and Dom work together, ALLEY-OOP SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Rey gets up, Gable throat chops! Gable whips Rey to the Academy corner but Rey BOOTS back! Rey elbows Otis, sunset flips, but Gable stays up. Otis tags in, Gable rolls back and holds Rey down for Otis’ elbow drop! “For the Academy!” Otis looms over Rey, talks smack on Dom, then drags Rey up. Otis whips Rey to a corner hard, and Rey bounces off buckles face first! Otis pushes Rey to ropes and stands on him! The ref counts, Otis hops off at 4, then soaks up the heat.
Otis stomps away on Rey at the ropes, but backs off as the ref counts. Rey sputters as Raw returns to single picture, but Otis pushes him back down. Otis stands on Rey again! The ref counts, Otis lets off at 4 again and argues with the ref. Otis keeps on Rey while the It Couple is properly introduced now. Miz & Maryse kiss to show us their love. Otis drags Rey up and whips him corner to corner hard! Rey bounces off buckles, then bounces off Otis! “All day long.” Otis runs, and SPLASHES down! Cover, TWO! Miz says they are the Academy’s guests out here, and are helping make sure the Mysterios do not cheat again.
Otis drags Rey over, Gable tags in, and Gable brings Rey around. Fans rally for Rey as Gable whips and RAMS Rey into a corner. Gable fireman’s carries, then GUTBUSTERS Rey! Cover, TWO! Gable drags Rey up but Rey throws body shots. Gable ROCKS Rey, whips him back to a corner, but Rey goes up and over, only to get caught! Rey slips out and drop toeholds Gable into buckles! Gable scrambles and tags in Otis! Otis drags Rey by his head and squeezes Rey’s head in a neck wrench! Fans rally up but Otis pushes Rey down then climbs the corner. VADER BOMB FLOPS as Rey moves! Fans fire up and Rey hurries for his corner!
Hot tags to Gable and Dom! Dom rallies on Gable, whips, but Gable reverses. Dom ducks and dodges to RANA Gable away! Gable flounders up, Dom whips again. Dom follows, leaps, TORNADO DDT! Cover, TWO! Miz says this is fine, this is an athletic competition. Dom fire sup with Latino Heat, snap suplex! Uno amigo! Then dos amigos! Gable slips out of the third, to TIGER PLEX! Bridging cover, TWO!! Dom survives and Gable argues the count. Gable then whips Dom, Dom kicks back and runs in to wheelbarrow and body scissor throw Gable out! Hot tag to Rey, and he DECKS Otis!
Rey and Dom coordinate, they both run side to side, Dom baseball slides Otis and Rey hits Gable! Then they switch it up, Rey holds ropes open for Dom to DIVE onto Otis! Rey runs to slide and SUNSET BOMB Gable! Fans fire up but Miz protests on the Academy’s behalf! The Mysterios are on top as Raw goes to break.
Raw returns and Gable has Dom in a Bow ‘n’ Arrow! Dom pops free to a cover, ONE! Gable keeps Dom from reaching Rey and whips him away, to then Belly2Belly! Gable holds on, and hits another Belly2Belly! Cover, TWO! Gable climbs up a corner, MOONSAULTS, but has to land on his feet as Dom moves! Roll up, TWO! Gable waistlocks Dom, back suplex but Dom lands on his feet! Dom jumps the chop block, hot tag to Rey! Rey rallies on Gable, whips, but Gable reverses. Rey tilt-o-whirls to headscissor! Rey DECKS Otis, Miz protests, but Gable kicks and sunset flips! Rey rolls through, BUZZSAW! Cover, TWO!
Miz distracts Rey, Rey whips but Gable reverses. Rey elbows Gable, springboards and wheelbarrows, into a GERMAN SUPLEX! Bridging cover, TWO!! Gable drags Rey up to an Electric Chair Lift, but Rey throws down fists! Rey spins and wheelbarrows to BULLDOG! Cover, Otis breaks it! Dom gets in, but Otis scoops! Rey saves Dom and the Mysterios POST Otis together! Miz protests again, Gable rolls Rey up! Rey rolls through to ENZIGURI! Gable’s on the ropes, Rey tags Dom! The Mysterios dial it up, DOUBLE 619!! Miz is furious as Dom goes up, so Miz gets on the apron! Dom boots Miz, Rey hits a SEATED SENTON!
Dom CROSSBODIES Gable! But Gable rolls through and grips tights!! The Alpha Academy wins!
Winners: The Alpha Academy, by pinfall
Hypocrisy from the Hollywood A-Lister, and then Maryse gets in to be mad about what Rey did to Miz. Miz throws Dom out! Maryse SLAPS Rey, Miz gives Rey a SKULL CRUSHING FINALE! The It Couple gets the last laugh on Valentine’s Day, but will Rey & Dom get their revenge on the Road to WrestleMania?
We check back in with Alexa.
After all the trials and tribulations, the doc is proud to say Alexa has been cured. Well, as much as she’s going to be. But she’ll be fine, so long as she has Lily. Oh, this isn’t “Lily.” She’s gone. Right. But inside the doll is the stuffing of the original. So in a way, her spirit is in there, too. Alexa has her competitive spirit, she will surely have an extraordinary life and career. Just as long as she has Lily by her side. As long as Lily’s with her, she’ll be cured. Well, thanks, Doc. This has been fun. She shakes the doc’s hand, and then has him shake Lily’s hand. Gotta go. People to see, things to do. Y’know. And then Alexa lets the Newton Balls start up again. Hear that, Lily? Alexa’s cured!
Oh wait, isn’t there an opening in that Elimination Chamber match? Well Alexa knows what she’ll be doing this Saturday! Alexa is now part of the Women’s Chamber Match!! Will she twist the Road to WrestleMania into Alexa’s Playground?
BREAKING NEWS!
After what Miz did during the Mysterios’ tag match, he’ll have to face the consequences! Miz VS Rey has just been added to the Elimination Chamber card!
Randy Orton VS Seth Rollins!
The Viper and the Architect meet again! The Apex Predator has the Raw Tag Team Championships to look forward to, but the Visionary has his eyes set on the WWE World Championship. Will Rollins survive the three most dangerous letters in the WWE? Or will not even he see the RKO coming?
Raw returns and Orton makes his entrance. Raw goes picture in picture as he enters the ring and strikes his iconic pose. Orton hands his vest to a fan in the front row, gives him a fist bump, then goes back to the ring. Orton takes his time wiping his boots before stepping inside, and the bell rings. The two circle, but then Rollins bails out to taunt the fans. Fans are torn, Rollins goes back to the ring, and he circles with Orton again. They tie up, are in a deadlock, but Rollins gets around and gets away to strut. Orton keeps cool, Raw returns to single picture, and the two go again. They tie up, go around, and Rollins gets away again, to strut some more.
Orton DECKS Rollins with a right! Orton bumps Rollins off buckles, throws more hands, then stalks Rollins to a corner. Rollins kicks back, but Orton punches back! Orton bumps Rollins off buckles, throws EuroUppers, then climbs up to rain down rights! The fans count along, but Rollins trips Orton up at 7! Rollins stomps a mudhole into Orton, then swaggers some more. Fans are torn again, Rollins puts Orton on the ropes and he chokes him! The ref counts, Rollins lets off at 4, then swaggers a little more. Rollins runs in corner to corner to forearm smash! Snapmare and PENALTY KICK! Cover, TWO!
Rollins stalks Orton to ropes, fish hooks Orton’s mouth, but lets off with a crossface forearm! Orton flops to the apron, Rollins goes out the side. Rollins taunts the fans then CLUBS away on Orton’s back. Rollins swaggers, runs back in, and BOOTS Orton down off the apron! Fans are torn between cheers and jeers but Rollins enjoys all of it. Rollins drags Orton up and into the ring, then goes up the corner. Orton flounders up, Rollins leaps, DOUBLE AX HANDLE! Cover, TWO! Orton survives but Rollins drags him up into a chinlock. Rollins squeezes tight but Orton endures. Orton has the ropebreak, Rollins lets go at 4.
Orton sputters and gets away to another corner. Rollins storms over, but Orton kicks low! Orton CLUBS Rollins, EuroUppers, then EuroUppers again! Rollins CHOPS, Orton CHOPS! Orton haymakers, Rollins kicks low. Rollins whips Orton into the corner but Orton comes back and rallies with clotheslines! Orton gets around but Rollins avoids the powerslam. Orton avoids the stomp to clothesline Rollins out! Orton goes out after Rollins and they go to the announce desk. Fans fire up because they know what’s next! Back suplex to the desk! Did a monitor just break? Orton puts Rollins in the ring, stalks Rollins, kicks and puts him through ropes!
The fans fire up for another vintage Orton move! But Rollins know this one well and slips out to dump Orton out of the ring! Rollins aims from the apron, FLYING KNEE! Down goes Orton and Rollins leaves him behind. Rollins builds speed in the ring to DIVE! Direct hit and Orton goes over the desk! The Viper is down, the Visionary is laughing, and Raw goes to break.
Raw returns again and the two duel over the suplex. Orton suplexes Rollins up, but Rollins turns it right around to snap suplex Orton! Fans rally and duel, Rollins goes to the corner. Rollins goes up, but Orton trips him! Rollins lands on his architect, but Orton goes up to bring Rollins up. SUPERPLEX! Fans fire up while both men crash down! Orton crawls to a cover, TWO!! Orton is too tired to be frustrated, and both men slowly rise. Orton ROCKS Rollins with a right, but Rollins ROCKS Orton back with one of his own. Orton kicks low, Rollins throat chops! Orton SLAPS Rollins, Rollins forearms, Orton forearms back!
Orton and Rollins keep throwing hands and fans fire up! Orton gets the edge, then EuroUppers! Rollins PELES! Orton wobbles around on noodle legs, he hurries after Rollins, but into a BUCKLE SHOT! Rollins runs to SLINGBLADE Orton down! Rollins aims from a corner, Orton sits up, Rollins runs in, into the POWERSLAM! Cover, TWO!! Rollins survives but Orton grits his teeth. Rollins goes to the apron, fans rally up and Orton drags Rollins in through ropes. But again Rollins slips off and he rolls Orton up! TWO, SUPERKICK!! Rollins pushes Orton to a cover, TWO!!
Rollins grows frustrated but Rollins talks trash on Orton, “Your boy, Riddle, tried this on me last week!” Rollins aims, spins, ROLLING ELBOW! Orton wobbles, Rollins reels him in and turns him, for the DREAM SMASHER ELBOW! Orton drops and Rollins aims from the corner again. Rollins runs in, but Orton avoids the stomp! Rollins avoids the lariat, kicks and underhooks! But Orton dumps Rollins to the apron! Orton gets Rollins fast, DRAPING DDT! And he hears those voices! RKO!! But the Alpha Academy show up! They won’t let Orton get this, but Riddle won’t let them get Orton!
Riddle attacks the Academy, Orton helps out by throwing Otis in barriers! Orton CLOBBERS Gable, returns to the ring, CURB STOMP outta nowhere!! Fans boo but Rollins laughs it up as he drags Orton to a cover, Rollins wins!
Winner: Seth Rollins, by pinfall
The Visionary benefits from the Alpha Academy wanting extra credit. Rollins is heading to the Elimination Chamber with great momentum, but will it help him overcome the odds?
My Thoughts:
For being a go-home, this was a great episode. I feel like being commercial free on SyFy and having picture in picture again helped, just like last week. And what also really helped was that Women’s Gauntlet Match. That was awesome stuff, especially Rhea being the Ironwoman of the match. Her and Nikki starting things off seemed almost too early but it all worked out that Rhea made it to the end and then lose to Bianca. The only thing is, Bianca winning here and getting to be last into the Elimination Chamber, I feel like that just ensures Bianca loses to whoever is still around by then. It won’t be that heroic of a moment for her to come in, clean up, and go to WrestleMania.
Another bit of a letdown was how they revealed the sixth entry. Alexa Bliss just deciding to be in that match and then being officially approved seems like lazy work from Vince. And even without all that, I feel like they didn’t quite punctuate her finishing her therapy and returning to action. The way the doctor was talking, it was almost like there should’ve been a twist where he was never really there, and Alexa was the one who put the doll back together. Her wardrobe and the match graphic suggests Alexa’s becoming a hybrid of Playhouse and Goddess/Five Foot Fury personas, so it’ll be a matter of time before she returns to Playhouse Bliss.
The 24/7 Championship story’s punchline was actually rather clever. Reggie was fine with letting Dana have the title if he could get a girlfriend, but then he busts outta the friend zone and gets the belt back! I hope they really give us something big for WrestleMania with this belt, something chaotic and hilarious, maybe get some legends in on it. Kevin Owens had a great promo to do a 180 on Texas, and if he doesn’t have a match with Seth Rollins or US Champion Damian Priest, maybe a big name in wrestling who’s from Texas shows up and has a match with Kevin? Maybe not Austin, even though them both using Stunners is something they should reference.
Omos returns to action and squashes The Hurt Business, which is good for Omos. But I’m not sure where Omos is going from here. He’s been so dominant that he hasn’t taken a bump, is he just too tall to take one? Because in order for him to go further, that first singles loss has to happen. We got a pretty good tag match out of Profits VS Dawgs, but the main thing was Ciampa being here, the same way Raw had Grayson Waller on to go after Styles. Ziggler and Ciampa are going to have a really good match on NXT, but the Dirty Dawgs are just spinning their wheels. I don’t think a tag team break-up story will work for those two, so maybe both Dawgs spend some time in NXT?
We got a very good contract signing segment out of Becky and Lita, especially with how Becky came out as a disheveled form of herself. I did like that she was framing this as her being reluctant to hurt Lita and that’s why she was stressed, as if that was going to scare Lita off. No brawling in this contract signing since they did that all last week, so their match is just going to be awesome. Then we got just a lot of great integration of all the other stories together. We got a great opening promo segment with all the Elimination Chamber entries, plugging pretty much everything else in the night, and I loved that Theory got punked by Lesnar.
Priest VS Styles was a great US Championship match, for being rather short in comparison. I figured Priest was going to retain, Styles wasn’t going to go into the Chamber match with a title. Maybe they do revisit this for Mania, maybe not. The BROGA Party was pretty good stuff, I liked seeing Apollo & Azeez loosen up as characters, but I should’ve figured The Alpha Academy would ruin things. Alpha Academy were busy tonight, too, taking on the Mysterios to help Miz set up a match for Elimination Chamber with Rey. Maybe there are bigger plans for each of them for Mania, because this seems like something on a blow-off level.
Orton VS Rollins was a very good main event, but I should’ve figured the Academy would go after Orton after also taking out Riddle. Rollins has a lot of momentum right now, but all the more reason to think he’s not winning. That and Lesnar VS Roman, Winner Takes All being the clear plan in mind. But the Raw Tag Team Championship match could go either way, and who knows if RKBRO survives losing this time.
My Score: 8.4/10
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London calling to the champion crowns!
SmackDown brings gold to London as LA Knight defends his WWE US Championship and The Street Profits defend their tag team titles! Will the landscape change this close to WrestleMania?
OFFICIAL RESULTS
- WWE Tag Team Championships: The Street Profits VS Pretty Deadly; The Profits win and retain the titles.
- Kayden Carter & Katana Chance VS The Secret Her-vice w/ Chelsea Green; The Secret Her-vice wins.
- WWE United States Championship: LA Knight VS Braun Strowman; Braun wins, by disqualification, and Knight retains the title.
- Charlotte Flair VS Mia Yim w/ B-Fab; Charlotte wins.
- Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre; McIntyre wins.
- Jimmy Uso VS The Miz; Jimmy wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
Cody Rhodes is here!
We follow The American Nightmare as walks to gorilla, then through the curtain, and London sings along with the song, “WHOA~ OH~!” Cody gets his pyro, says hello to fans along the ramp, and then we get the second “WHOA~ OH~!” and pyro. Cody goes to the ring, grabs a mic, then kneels down to kiss the WWE logo on the mat. The fans continue to sing along all the way to the end, “I AM MY KINGDOM!” The fans then cheer, and Cody holds up the belt to fire them up even more! The fans now sing for “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” and he soaks it in. The fans cheer again as Cody smiles, and he finally says, “So, London~! Whaddya wanna talk about?”
The fans chant “Let’s Go, Cena!” “CENA SUCKS!” Cody hears that dueling, and he smiles again. The song of “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” returns, then they cheer. Cody says, “At WrestleMania 41, I will be facing John Cena…” The fans boo, but Cody says, “I will be facing John Cena as he goes to break the record and win 17. But that is WrestleMania 41. In just a few nights, I will be standing face to face with John Cena in this very same city, in this very same arena.” The fans cheer that, but then here comes Randy Orton! Now the fans sing along with Voices as The Viper heads to the ring. Orton also high-fives fans before he joins Cody.
Orton grabs a mic, paces while the fans keep singing on their own, and then the fans cheer. Orton says he’s not really the sentimental type, but for Cody and for London, screw it. The fans chant “R K O! R K O!” and Orton tells Cody, “Look at you. Look at who you are now, the man you are now. Look at where he came from.” The fans cheer and sing “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” and Orton says he remembers a Cody in his early 20s, just breaking into the business. Cody was busting his ass harder than anyone else. He wasn’t exactly happy, and in fact, he was frustrated. But Cody was man enough, smart enough, to know he needed to grow, and that he couldn’t grow in the WWE.
Cody wasn’t exactly treated fairly in the WWE, so Cody left the WWE! That took some big ass balls to do what he did! Cody changed the business singlehandedly, and everyone in the back knows it. And Orton appreciates Cody for it. But then Cody came back, as they all knew one day he would. And the industry has been changed forever since the day Cody came back to the WWE. Cody is a bit teary eyed as Orton says Cody’s still the same guy, he just did what he set out to do, and he grew. Orton teases he would sing along with the fans, but the fans might leave. The fans again sing “CODY! CODY RHODES~!”
Orton asks if they remember when Cody Rhodes faced Seth Rollins in Hell in a Cell. The fans cheer because they do. Orton says that was impressive, and even impossible, as he started with a partially torn pec and then ended with a fully torn pec! His body changed all kinds of shades of purple that Orton’s never seen on a human body. The pain he must have been in. Cody persevered not just for himself. Maybe not even at all for Cody. It was not even for his family legacy; it was for each and every single fan out there! Then Cody went on to WrestleMania, beat Roman Reigns and finished the story!
But there’s always another story, isn’t there? And Cody’s right in the middle of one. Cody is in charge of his legacy, and it is a privilege for Orton to watch Cody take control of it. Ticket sales have been up, there’s more intrigue around the world, and listen to the people! It is 99.9% all because of Cody! The fans cheer that, and of course they sing. Orton says what he’s trying to say is a long-winded version of he respects Cody, loves him, and is very, very proud of him. The fans cheer that! Orton then says, “But… But now it is time for WrestleMania.” They both look to the sign, and Orton says he can guarantee Cody that Orton will kick Kevin Owens so hard in the head…!
Orton can just feel it already! He forgets how many days are left, but he can’t wait to remove Kevin’s head from his shoulders. And Orton knows Cody will enter champion, exit champion, but not before he beats the holy hell outta Cena all up and down the Vegas strip! But after all the smoke clears and the dust settles, just like Orton wants Number 17, there will come a time when Orton will want Number 15. But Orton won’t kick Cody in the balls like a coward. Orton will look Cody in the eye because he respects Cody, is proud of Cody, and sees him as an equal. Orton will look Cody in the eye and tell him that he’s coming for the title.
The fans cheer but wait! Drew McIntyre is here! The fans cheer the Scottish Terminator as he steps out on stage, mic in hand, and has a wry smile on his face as he looks at the ring. Drew waves as the fans now sing, “OH~ Drew McIntyre~!” Drew says, “Isn’t this wonderful? A couple of nepo babies having a love fest in the middle of the ring> It makes me absolutely sick. What’d you just say, Randy? if Cody gets through Cena at WrestleMania, you’re coming for that title? What exactly have you done since that big comeback to justify that title match? Aside be Randy Orton. The only big moment I can remember is you being on the shelf for months and months and months.
“People like to make jokes about it, but more people talk about my five-minute-45-second title reign than your entire comeback so far! So get to the back of the line, sunshine! As for you, Cody, you should’ve listened to me. But you shunned me. You attacked me. Everybody should’ve listened to me about John Cena, but they didn’t. And the next night, he kicked you right in the twig ‘n’ berries, proving me right as usual. And the main event of WrestleMania should be Cody Rhodes VS The UK’s only ever world champion, Drew McIntyre!” Fans do like that idea. But sadly, it’s not, because of that guyliner wearing Temu Undertaker, Damian Priest!
Drew wants to talk about what is happening. And what’s gonna happen! Drew steps up to the ring while fans sing for him again. Drew says it will not be Randy that takes the title from Cody, should he get through Cena; it’ll be McIntyre. The fans cheer, but Orton says they were trying to have a moment. Can Drew just cut the crap already? Drew says okay, sure. He’ll tell the truth, because that’s all he ever does. The truth is, Kevin might have a point! If those Voices are talking to Orton again, then they know Drew very, very well. And he’s thinking, “My God, Randy looks great! Absolutely jacked! On the outside.”
On the inside, that back is hanging by a thread. And if Orton provokes McIntyre, McIntyre will break him. And as for Cody- Cody kicks Drew and UPPERCUTS him! The fans fire up, and Orton R- NO, Drew gets away! The fans boo, but the battlelines are drawn! Even if Cody makes it out of the frying pan that is Las Vegas, it’ll be into the fire that is these contenders waiting in line! Will the American Nightmare be ready for whoever comes for the crown?
WWE Tag Team Championships: The Street Profits VS Pretty Deadly!
Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins are finally golden again, but it’s time to put the titles on the line already! And while they’re ready for the grind, they’re up against the hometown heroes! Will the Profits still be up in the O2? Or will Kit Wilson & Elton Prince say #YESBOY to a new reign of their own?
The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see who really wants the smoke!
The teams sort out and Kit starts with Dawkins. They tie up, Dawkins headlocks, but Kit powers up and out. Dawkins runs Kit over, the fans fire up, and Dawkins fires hands on Kit in the corner! The fans rally for Pretty Deadly, Dawkins whips Kit to a corner, but Elton takes that bump! Kit CLOBBERS Dawkins, then tags Elton! Atomic drop into DROPKICK! Ford runs up, but into a DOUBLE HIP TOSS! Dawkins whips, Elton reverses, and then Elton hurdles so Kit can DDT! The fans fire up with Pretty Deadly while the Profits bail out. Pretty Deadly has control while SmackDown goes picture in picture.
Elton is right on Dawkins as he gets in, and UPPERCUTS him to the corner. Elton clinches Dawkins for another UPPERCUT! Tag to Kit, and Elton RAMS into Dawkins so Kit can UPPERCUT! Dawkins flops over, Kit drags him up to wrench the arm. Kit whips, Dawkins reverses, but Kit grabs ropes. Kit ELBOWS Dawkins, DECKS Ford, but Dawkins CLOBBERS Kit! The ref reprimands but Dawkins RAMS Kit into the corner again and again! The ref counts, Dawkins fires fast hands, then he tags in Ford. Ford says, “SUCK IT!” then he KICKS Kit! Ford scuffs Kit, then drags him to a cover, TWO!
Ford keeps Kit down with a facelock, but Kit endures the grind. Kit fights up, fires body shots, but Ford whips him away. Kit sunset flips! Ford rolls through, and PENALTY KICKS! Ford mocks Elton with the Scott Hall fingers, and the ref has to keep Elton back. Ford drags Kit up, tags Dawkins, and the Profits mug Kit. Dawkins CLUBS Kit down, then stalks him. Dawkins stays between Kit and Elton, then whips Kit into the Profits’ corner. CYCLONE- NO, Kit dodges! Ford tags in, he keeps Kit from Elton now, but Kit slips out of the suplex! Kit fakes high to go low, hot tag to Elton! Elton rallies with LARIAT after LARIAT!
Elton kicks and whips Ford to a corner, then UPPERCUTS! Elton whips the other way, UPPERCUTS again, and then does it again! Elton adds to the hattrick with a lift, Ford says a quick prayer before the SUPLEX! Ford flounders, gets to his feet, but Elton dodges to springboard and FLYING UPPERCUT! Cover, TWO! Ford stays in this, but Elton stays on him. SmackDown returns to single picture and fans rally for Pretty Deadly as Elton gives Ford a back suplex. Ford lands out, waistlocks, but Elton switches and shoves Ford. Ford CLOBBERS Elton in return! Ford is also dazed but he covers, ONE!
Kit reaches out, Elton and Ford both crawl, hot tags to Kit and Dawkins! The fans fire up as Dawkins wrenches Kit, underhooks and SILENCER! Dawkins Electric Chair Lifts Kit, Ford climbs, but Kit slips free! Kit shoves Dawkins into Ford! Ford falls to the floor, but Dawkins ENZIGIRIS Kit! Elton tags in, and Kit LARIATS Dawkins! Pretty Deadly combine for DRY MARTI-KNEES! Cover, TWO!! Dawkins survives and the Profits are a bit unsure of what to do next. Dawkins crawls to a corner, Elton runs up, but Dawkins dodges! Elton hits buckles and Dawkins TOSSES Kit, then Dawkins hits a SKY HIGH on Elton!
Dawkins hurries to tag Ford and Ford climbs up! But Kit pushes Elton out of the way! Kit takes FROM THE HEAVESN, and Elton ghost pins Ford! TWO!! Ford escapes, and he ROCKS Elton! Elton UPPERCUTS Ford! Dawkins sneaks a tag, Ford SUPERKICKS! POUNCE SAIDO COMBO!! Cover, KIT BREAKS IT! The fans fire up while all four men are down! The teams go to opposite ends, then they all stand up in the corners. They all roar, all run in, and Kit SPEARS Ford while Elton FLYING UPPERCUTS Dawkins!! London is thunderous, and Kit hurries to tag in! Pretty Deadly gets Dawkins up, for SPILT MILK!! Cover, FORD BREAKS IT!
The fans are shocked, as is Elton, but Ford saves this for his team! “This is Awesome!” as Ford runs up and Elton TOSSES him out! Now DRY MARTI- NO! Dawkins doesn’t accept the second serving, and he DUMPS Kit out! Kit skins the cat while Dawkins DECKS Elton! Dawkins catches Kit to an Electric Chair! Ford rises, DOOMSDAY BLOCKBUSTER!! Cover, Profits win!
Winners: The Street Profits, by pinfall (still WWE Tag Team Champions)
Pretty Deadly put up a heroic fight, but the hometown heroes could not capture the gold. Dawkins & Ford hold onto the gold, will this be the strongest the Profits have ever been?
Kayden & Katana talk with Zelina Vega.
Carter & Chance know La Muneca got screwed over by The Green Administration. Chelsea thinks she’s untouchable, but someone’s gonna stop them eventually. Well, speaking of, Alba Fyre leads the way in as she & Piper Niven “scope the perimeter.” There’s one small threat. They frisk the “miniscule” threat, but nothing they haven’t dealt with before. Chelsea struts in and says, “The Eagle has landed~!” Zelina says she is so glad the “Bootleg Men in Black” have crashed the party. Now, yeah, they all know she’s small. But clearly this small “threat” is a big threat to Chelsea’s title reign. Otherwise, it wouldn’t have taken all three of them to beat her.
KC Squared agree with that. How about tonight, we see what happens when the odds are even? Chelsea says that’s fine, because Agents P & A are ready. The Secret Her-vice has been given their next mission, but will they be able to crash the party? Or will the party crash them?
Kayden Carter & Katana Chance VS The Secret Her-vice!
SmackDown returns and The Green Administration makes their entrance. The teams sort out, Alba starts against Katana, and the two tie up. Alba KNEES low, CLUBS Katana down, then fireman’s carries. Katana fights free, tags Kayden, and they KICK, double whip, and then trip Alba up for the basement DROPKICK! Katana adds a slingshot SENTON, Kayden covers, TWO! Kayden tags Katana, they double whip Alba to a corner, then Kayden runs in. Alba DUMPS Kayden out, ROCKS Katana, and she tags Piper! Katana arm-drags Alba out, then goes out to run up. Kayden gives her a boost, Katana CROSSBODIES Alba down!
The fans fire up, but Piper goes up and out?! CANNONBALL and down goes KC Squared! Piper salutes Chelsea and SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns, Kayden rallies on Alba while the fans rally up. Kayden fires up, runs in and whips, but Alba reverses. Kayden wheelbarrows, victory rolls, then SUPERKICKS! Kayden fires up again but the fans are torn. Kayden runs in at Alba to BOOT WASH her against the ropes! Chelsea protests, Kayden kicks at her, then Kayden springboards for a LEG DROP! Cover, TWO! Alba survives, Kayden whips, but Alba KICKS back! Tag to Piper, but Kayden jackknife bridges Alba! The ref explains bout the tag, Piper runs up, but Kayden moves! The SENTON hits Alba! Piper panics, Kayden tags Katana!
Katana goes up onto Kayden’s shoulders, VICTORY ROLL LAUNCHER, but Piper catches Katana! Katana fires hands, BOOTS, and then hurries to go up again. Kayden ROCKS Piper, and fireman’s carries?! SAMOAN DROP! Kayden then gives Katana the boost, for the KEG STAND SPLASH!! Cover, ALBA BREAKS IT! Kayden runs up on Alba to BOOT her out! Katana gives Kayden the boost now, SUPER CROSSBODY onto Alba! Kayden hurries to tag back in, and she brings Piper up. Piper swings, Kayden dodges and SUPERKICKS! Katana goes up, Piper staggers over that way, but Chelsea distracts the ref!
The fans are torn as Alba grabs Katana. Katana kicks Alba down, chases Chelsea off, but Piper sends Kayden into her! Piper scoops to PIPER DRIVER!! Cover, Secret Her-vice wins!
Winner: The Secret Her-vice, by pinfall
The Women’s US Champion helps her team, and now they all mug Kayden & Katana! But here comes Zelina! Vega runs down the ramp, CLOBBERS Alba, and then she gets in the ring! Zelina tilt-o-whirl DDTS Piper! And she KNEES Alba off the apron! But Chelsea CLOBBERS Zelina! Chelsea fires up, the UK is oddly with her, and she chicken wings Zeina. But Zelina fights free to fire forearms and body shots! And a BACK ELBOW! Zelina reels Chelsea in, CODE- SUPERKICK from Alba! SENTON from Piper! The Green Administration is just too much for Zelina to fight against alone! But can she, Kayden & Katana find a way to turn things around?
WWE United States Championship: LA Knight VS Braun Strowman!
Did the Mega Star just get this title back from Shinsuke Nakamura? YEAH! Did he help the Monster of All Monsters fight off Solo Sikoa’s rouge bloodline? YEAH! And now, does he have to defend this title against the monster he just helped? YEAH!! But will Knight still reign this close to WrestleMania? Or will Braun #GetTheseHands back on a championship?
The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and it’s time for Knight’s biggest challenge, YEAH!
The bell rings and the fans rally up as the two circle. The two tie up, and Braun SHOVES Knight away. Knight comes back, Braun SHOVES him down again! Knight gets up, gets around, and he headlocks. Braun powers up to back suplex, but Knight lands out! Knight tries but Braun’s too big to suplex! Braun ELBOWS Knight, storms up on him, but Knight fires haymakers! Knight whips, Braun reverses, but Knight KICKS back! Knight runs, but Braun HIP TOSSES! Cover, TWO! Knight stays in this, but Braun brings him up. Braun puts Knight in a corner, CHOPS, then runs, for a SPLASH! Knight sputters along ropes, Braun keeps moving, but Knight DUMPS him out!
The fans fire up as Knight then WRECKS Braun with a dropkick! Knight keeps moving, and he WRECKS Braun again! The fans fire up with Knight, but then Braun BOOTS Knight down! The fans are torn but Braun stands tall as SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns and Braun puts Knight back in the ring. The fans cheer as Knight KICKS Braun! Knight tries again, but Braun’s still too big to back suplex! Braun CLUBS Knight, then runs in at the corner. Knight BOOTS Braun, goes up, and FLYING BULLDOGS! Both men are down and the fans fire up! Knight and Braun rise back up, and Knight dodges a shot to JAB! Then he dodges to JAB! JAB! JAB! “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” But Braun KNEES low! Braun scoops, Knight slips free, and Knight RAMS Braun into buckles! Then the BACK SUPLEX! The fans fire up and Knight rises again! Knight spells it out, “L! A! KNIGHT! YEAH!” ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO!
Braun has plenty left in the tank but the fans rally for Knight. Knight stands Braun up to kick low, but Braun THROWS Knight away! Knight rises, and Braun LARIATS Knight up and out! The fans fire up as Braun rips the shirt! Braun gets on the track, and he runs in, STROWMAN EXPRESS MEETS JACOB FATU!! The Samoan Werewolf strikes Braun down!
Winner: Braun Strowman, by disqualification; LA Knight retains the title
The fans boo as Jacob now goes after Knight! He just ruined what was becoming a great match, but Jacob fires HEADBUTT after HEADBUTT on Braun! SAMOAN DROP onto the desk!! The desk doesn’t budge, but Braun might’ve been broken in half! The UK fires up for Fatu as he puts Braun in the ring! Jacob fires more HEADBUTTS, then HEADBUTTS away on Braun in the corner! The fans sing “OLE~ OLE OLE OLE, FATU~, FATU~!” Jacob runs corner to corner, but Knight kicks him first! Knight fires haymakers, “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” Jacob denies the BFT to POP-UP SAMOAN DROP! And then HIP ATTACK for Braun anyway!
Jacob keeps going, HIP ATTACK for Braun again! Jacob throws off his jacket, glares at Braun, and he runs in for a third HIP ATTACK! Braun flounders into the drop zone, so Jacob goes up, up, BEST MOONSAULT EVER! Direct hit on Braun, but the fans want that “ONE MORE TIME!” Jacob obliges, BEST MOONSAULT EVER! The Samoan Werewolf just tore up #OneBigSOB and LA Knight, will there be no stopping him from taking the United States Championship?
Backstage interview with Jimmy Uso.
Jackie Redmond is with #BigJim, and she says that while she knew WWE was going global this month, she did not know they’d get the slap heard ’round the world! Jimmy says he’d do it again, and he’ll slap Gunther as many times as he needs! Jimmy knows Jey is up in his own head, doubt is creeping on him. But just because Jey’s 0-3 against Gunther doesn’t mean Gunther’s unbeatable! The Ring General CAN be got! Jimmy’s going to Raw this Monday, he will bust Gunther’s ass, Jey will go to Mania and bust Gunther’s ass to become the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. And then they leave Las Vegas just like this: YEET!
Jimmy heads out, but then The Miz & Carmelo Hayes walk by. Miz is mocking Jimmy’s words, and he asks excuse me. Miz says it’s just funny that suddenly, Jimmy is a tough guy, even though for most of his career, he’s been “The Other Uso.” Doesn’t Jimmy get it? Jimmy and Jey are career sidekicks while Gunther is a main character. Gunther is the lead, neither Jimmy nor Jey can beat him. And here’s another thing: The Usos are just blips on the trailer that was Roman Reigns’ Bloodline. Melo says Jimmy & Jey are stuck outside the club, they can’t even get in.
Miz says as a former WWE Champion, a former WrestleMania main eventer, Jimmy will never know what it is to carry this industry. And after this year’s WrestleMania, neither will Jey. Oh, and by the way, if Jimmy ever slapped Miz like that, Jimmy would still be on the ground. Jimmy feints the slap and Miz freaks out. Jimmy says it may be him and Gunther on Monday, but he’ll holler at Aldis real quick so it can be Jimmy VS Miz here tonight. Yeah, YEET! Jimmy heads out, Melo says he thought Miz was gonna do something about the slap. Will Miz have to do something about running his mouth before he gets his teeth kicked in?
Solo Sikoa & Tama Tonga find Jacob Fatu backstage.
Solo asks Jacob what the Hell he was doing out there. Jacob goes out there alone without saying a thing to them? Jacob says he ain’t gotta say nothing to nobody! Matter fact, didn’t Solo not tap in with him last week? Tama says, “But Jacob,” only for Jacob to say, “But nothing, Tama!” Solo wants Jacob to lower his tone, but Jacob says okay. Let him be very clear with them. When it comes to Braun Strowman, Jacob WILL be the last man standing. Y’all better get in where you fit in, cuz that US title? Oh, Jacob’s bringing it home to the family. And he will do it with them, or without them! Yadada mean? Fatu heads out, is the Samoan Werewolf no longer following Solo?
Naomi speaks.
“I mean… How did we even get here? I don’t know. One thing that I do know is that I’ve always been the woman to do the right thing. I’ve always been the woman to do the right thing. So Bianca, what makes you think that my attack on Jade was anything different from me doing the right thing? When I sit here and I think about all that I’ve sacrificed, all that I’ve given, and that’s what really breaks my heart. Because through all of that, I’m made to be the bad one in this situation. I just don’t understand, how does Jade come in outta nowhere and take my place with you? I want you to ask yourself this, Bianca. Who inspired you? Hmm?
“Who’s inspired women over the last decade? Who’s always had your back from day one of you being here? Me. Not Jade. Hmm. But you know what? What I’ve learned through all of this: You teach people how to treat you. And I’m done with being treated as a third wheel. I’m done being pushed to the side, I’m done with being too nice, I’m done with being undervalued, underutilized, underappreciated! So moving forward, hmm… Moving forward, here’s my message to you, Jade. If you continue to be in my way, I strongly advise you to proceed with caution.” The Glow shows her dark side, but will the storm be moved?
Nick Aldis meets with Jade Cargill.
Speaking of, the SmackDown General Manager understands things have been rather difficult for her as of late. Jade says she’s been trying to get her hands on Naomi for the past few weeks, now where is she? No one has seen her all day, so as far as anyone knows, Naomi’s not here. Well, when Jade catches Naomi, it’s on sight. Jade leaves, B-Fab & Michin are there. They let her know that what Naomi did to her was straight trash, totally uncalled for behavior. And after Jade gets her hands on Naomi, she’ll handle that business. Jade agrees. Mia says they’ve all got business to handle. Jade’s got Naomi, and Mia’s gonna get Charlotte for messing with her girl, B.
B-Fab says Naomi’s got what’s coming to her: no sympathy, no regrets. Jade, just do what you gotta do. Oh, she will. Jade also wishes Mia luck tonight. Mia & B-Fab head out, will the Head Baddie in Charge make the Queen bow down in London?
The darkness approaches.
“You are as I was. As I am, you will be.” The shadows are starting to take shape, but is SmackDown about to fade to black?
Charlotte Flair VS Mia Yim w/ B-Fab!
The Queen looks down on everyone, so it’s no surprise that everyone else wants to take her down. Charlotte may have checked off B-Fab, but will the HBIC be a much different story? Or will Charlotte only sharpen her edge before facing Tiffany Stratton at WrestleMania?
WAIT! NAOMI ATTACKS B-FAB & MICHIN! Naomi drags Mia up for a FACEBUSTER! Naomi rains down fists, the ref reprimands and the fans boo, but Naomi tells the ref to back off. Naomi then BOOTS B-Fab off the apron! Naomi goes out after B-Fab to THRWO her into barriers! Naomi SLAPS B-Fab, tells her to stay down, but B-Fab gets up. Naomi fires hands, then she SMACKS B-Fab off the desk! Naomi rains down fists, but here comes Jade! Jade hurries down the ramp, she runs around the way, but Naomi runs away! Jade makes sure B-Fab is okay, but refs have to help her to the back. And what of Mia? Will she even be able to compete?
Charlotte makes her entrance, not really caring about what Naomi just did to Mia. But that means she also crosses paths with Jade. The fans like the look of this stare down, but Jade and Charlotte both let the other slide. Charlotte gets her pyro, and it seems she’ll still get her match. Will Mia be little more than an appetizer now?
The bell rings, and Charlotte BOOTS Mia down! Cover, TWO! Mia stays in this and the fans rally up. Charlotte just struts around while SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns, Charlotte has Mia down with a chinlock, but the fans rally up. Mia fights up, fires body shots, and she then blocks a shot to ROCK Charlotte! Mia ROCKS Charlotte again and again, then reels her in for a TORNADO DDT! The fans fire up as Mia hurries to cover, TWO! Mia drags Charlotte up, wrenches, but Charlotte says no to Da Feet! BIG back suplex! Mia stagger sup, Charlotte whips her, but Mia reverses! Charlotte goes up and out, BOOTS her away, then slingshots in and rolls Mia! Mia rolls through and BUZZSAWS! Mia runs corner to corner, but Charlotte avoids the cannonball!
Charlotte YAKUZA KICKS Mia down, then fires herself up! The fans “WOO~!” as Charlotte has Mia in the drop zone,. Charlotte steps on her, goes up the corner, but Mia gets underneath her! SIT-OUT POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! Charlotte survives and Mia is shocked! Mia nods as the fans rally back up, and she brings Charlotte up. But Charlotte ROCKS Mia! Mia SOBATS, PELES, and then runs to PENALTY KICK! Cover, TWO! Charlotte stays in this, Mia grows frustrated, but the fans continue to rally. Mia uses that energy to stay focused, and she stalks Charlotte to waistlock. But Charlotte ELBOWS her away!
Charlotte CHOPS, and CHOPS, and CHOSP! Charlotte winds up, and she CHOPS again! Mia sputters, but then she dodges the boot! Charlotte is caught, and Mia hits a SAIDO! Charlotte flounders to a corner, the fans rally behind Mia, and Mia runs up, CANNONBALL! Mia hurries to wrench and EAT- NO, Charlotte shoves Mia away! Charlotte gets under, back suplexes, but Mia lands out! EAT DA FEET!! Cover, ROPEBREAK!! Charlotte’s long legs help her survive by a literal foot! Mia is beside herself while Charlotte bails out. Mia storms after Charlotte, runs up, but Charlotte dodges! Mia’s kick hits steel steps!
Mia hobbles away, goes to the apron, but Charlotte CHOP BLOCKS the bad leg out! Charlotte grabs Mia’s leg, drops a KNEE on the knee, but fans chant, “We Want Tiffy!” Charlotte just steps through, FIGURE FOUR, into FIGURE EIGHT!! Mia taps, Charlotte wins!
Winner: Charlotte Flair, by submission
Charlotte got more of a fight out of Mia than expected, but she still won. Will The Queen be more than ready to reign again after WrestleMania?
Backstage interview with Tiffany Stratton.
Jackie Redmond is with the WWE Women’s Champion and says Charlotte certainly looks confident. Let’s be real, Charlotte came at Tiff pretty hard. It got a lot of people talking. Tiff says yes, people talk. And Charlotte sure loves to hear herself talk. Ten years into the business and Charlotte is still so insecure that she can’t let a “rookie” get a word out. But last week, Tiff did learn something: She learned that walking into WrestleMania, she isn’t the one with something to lose. Truth is, if Tiff loses, then she lost to the great Charlotte Flair, as just a 25-year-old rookie with one year into SmackDown.
But if Charlotte loses… Well, then she lost to an “undeserving, delusional, unoriginal, backflip doing, blonde-hair-having, little girl.” Did she get it all? And Tiff can’t wait to hear the look on Charlotte’s face when they hear the words, “And STILL!” Then maybe Charlotte will finally shut up for the sake of literally everyone! They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, and Tiff will make damn sure what stays is Charlotte’s massive ego. Tiff is walking into and out of Mania as the WWE Women’s Champion. Tootles! Tiff heads out, will it still be #TiffyTime after WrestleMania?
Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre!
The Viper told Cody how proud he was, but also how he wants the next shot after John Cena. The Scottish Terminator took offense to that, and basically said he is taking that shot instead. Will this match be an unofficial #1 contender’s match between these two former world champions?
SmackDown returns and McIntyre makes his entrance. The bell rings and the fans sing, “OH~, Drew McIntyre~!” and chant “R K O! R K O!” Drew and Orton circle, tie up, and they go around in a deadlock. Drew powers Orton to a corner, but Orton headlocks back. Drew powers up and out, then he runs Orton over! Orton hurries to ropes and Drew mockingly asks, “How’s the back feel, Randy?” Orton stands, he and Drew reset, and the fans duel some more. Drew calls for a knuckle lock, Orton accepts, but then Drew kicks low! Drew bumps Orton off buckles, then climbs up, but he panders for too long and Orton YANKS him down!
The fans fire up as Orton climbs now! Orton rains down fists, and the fans count to nine. Orton hops down, brings Drew around, and POSTS him for ten! Drew tumbles out of the ring, Orton goes out after him, and they’re by the desk! But Drew kicks Orton first and SMACKS him off the desk! Drew clears the desk, and he brings Orton up for the DESK- NO, Orton fights free! Orton turns things around, DESK BACK SUPLEX for Drew! The fans fire up while Orton leaves Drew behind, and SmackDown goes picture in picture.
Drew writhes on the floor, but Orton goes out to fetch him! Orton brings Drew around, UPPERCUTS him, then says one more time! DESK BACK SUPLEX! Drew writhes as that desk stays standing! Orton grins, refreshes the ring count, and then he storms up on Drew. Drew pokes Orton in the eye! Drew POSTS Orton now, then brings him around to RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP into barriers! Orton slumps down, and Drew also grits his teeth from that double-edged attack, but Drew fires up as he stands tall. Drew drags Orton up, puts him in the ring, then stalks Orton. Drew looms over Orton, and HIP DROPS him!
Orton sputters, Drew says one more time, and he winds up for the HIP DROP! Drew paces around Orton, says maybe one more time, and he pretends he can’t hear the fans. Drew winds up again, but Orton flips over! Hip drop meets kneecaps! And then Orton pokes Drew in the eyes! The ref reprimands but Orton rises up. Drew sputters and flounders, Orton ROCKS him with a right! Drew ROCKS Orton back! Drew storms up, Orton kicks low, but Drew fires another haymaker! The haymakers go back and forth, Orton gets the edge, but Drew GLASGOW KISS HEADBUTTS! Cover, TWO! Drew clamps onto Orton with an armlock!
SmackDown returns to single picture and the fans rally up. Orton fights up, pries at the chinbar, and then throws right hands! Drew CHOPS Orton in return! The fans “WOO~” and Drew winds up. Drew ROCKS Orton again, eggs him on, then CHOPS again! Drew shoves Orton to a corner, CHOPS again, then dares Orton to fight! Drew whips corner to corner, but Orton comes back to LARIAT! And LARIAT! Drew swings, Orton dodges, SNAP POWERSLAM! The fans fire up as Orton stalks Drew to the apron. Drew HOTSHOTS Orton first! Drew then runs in, but Orton puts him through the ropes!
The fans fire up as Orton has Drew for the DRAPING DDT! The fans fire up for Orton, and Orton hears those voices! Drew rises, but then Orton spots KEVIN OWENS! The Prizefighter is on the ramp, Orton glares at him, but then he turns around into a CLAYMORE!! Cover, DREW WINS!
Winner: Drew McIntyre, by pinfall
Kevin’s mere presence costs Orton, and now Drew has a huge win propelling him down the Road to WrestleMania! As for Orton, Kevin drags him out of the ring, SMACKS him off the desk, and then climbs up to join him! The fans boo but Kevin and his hot pink sneakers have Orton in position, but Orton slips free and TRIPS Kevin up! Kevin hits the desk then the floor! Orton staggers around, the fans rally behind him, and Orton stalks Kevin to the corner of the barriers. Orton lines up the shot! Orton runs in, but Kevin jumps over barriers! Security is there to stop Orton from pursuing, so Kevin runs away into the night!
The fans boo, but The Viper was that close! Will Orton be able to strike Kevin down and completely take him out?
Fire, thunder, smoke…
The force of nature is drawing ever closer. And he’s ready to fly! REY FENIX arrives next Friday Night SmackDown!
Jimmy Uso VS The Miz!
#BigJim gave Gunther a piece of his mind and a mark on his cheek, but it seems not everyone got the message. Will the Hollywood A-lister soon star in the Uso Penitentiary? Or will he prove Jimmy is NOT ready for a world champion level opponent?
The bell rings and the two tie up. Jimmy powers Miz to a corner, Miz turns things around, and the ref counts. Miz takes a swing, Jimmy ducks it to CHOP! And CHOP! Miz shoves Jimmy back, then runs up, but Jimmy TACKLES Miz! Jimmy rains down fists, Miz shoves him away to go to ropes, but Jimmy storms back up. Miz ELBOWS Jimmy away, then runs back up, only for Jimmy to LARIAT him down! The fans fire up while Jimmy storms up on Miz. Jimmy CHOPS Miz, has him in a corner, then whips corner to corner. Miz reverses, Jimmy goes up and over, then UPPERCUTS! Miz staggers back to ropes, but Jimmy is right on him.
Jimmy whips, Miz reverses and kitchen sink knees! Then basement BOOTS! The fans fire up, Miz scowls, and Miz KNEES Jimmy in the back again and again. Miz stalks Jimmy to the ropes now, and he CHOKES Jimmy! The ref counts, Miz runs, and Miz STRADDLE ATTACKS! The fans boo, but Miz runs again. Jimmy ducks the boot, then dodges a lariat! Jimmy runs up to LARIAT Miz up and out! The fans fire up and Jimmy builds speed, but Miz runs away! Jimmy smirks as he goes out the side, and UPPERCUTS Miz over the barriers! Jimmy makes sure Gunther knows he’s coming to get him, but SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns and both men are down. Miz and Jimmy crawl, and Jimmy pounds the mat. The fans rally, Jimmy rises and runs up to LARIAT! And LARIAT! And mule kick! Jimmy then UPPERCUTS Miz, dodges a lariat, then SAMOAN DROPS! The fans fire up, Jimmy goes to the corner, “UCE! OH!” Jimmy runs in, but Miz puts him on the apron! Jimmy UPPERCUTS again! Jimmy climbs, leaps, but Miz gets under! Miz then waistlocks, ripcords, and MOVIE MAKER! Fans boo that blatant parody, but Miz full nelsons! Jimmy drops, victory rolls, TWO! Miz has the cover, TWO! Miz hurries to BASEMENT DDT! Cover, TWO!
The fans rally up as Jimmy survives! Miz stalks Jimmy, the fans rally up more, and Miz fires a KICK! And then another KICK! The fans say “YES! YES! YES!” to the It Kicks, but then Miz winds up. Jimmy ducks the buzzsaw, Miz blocks the superkick, but the DRAGON WHIP connects! Miz rebounds to B-MOVIE KNEE!! Cover, TWO!! The parodies don’t get it done, but Miz still has his original work to fall back on. The fans rally for “UCE! OH! UCE! OH!” Miz runs in, A-LIST LARIAT! Miz shoves Jimmy down, then springboards, but into a SUPERKICK! Jimmy hurries up top, for the USO SPLASH!! Cover, Jimmy wins!
Winner: Jimmy Uso, by pinfall
Miz may be a movie star, but Big Jim’s the one winning this main event! Jimmy then borrows Joe Tessitore’s headset to call out Gunther! He’s coming after dat ass on Monday! Gunther won’t be the ring general, he will be “Private Gunther,” and he will salute Big Jim! Uh, uh, YEET! Will Jimmy be the one making examples out of the World Heavyweight Champion? Or will everything come crashing down when Gunther gets his turn?
Drew McIntyre returns backstage.
And he says hey to Lewis Capaldi, the Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter, and also a big fan of Drew’s. They’re ready to have a good night in the pub, but Jackie Redmond walks over to congratulate him on the win tonight. She was hoping to get some thoughts on that victory and what happened with Orton and Kevin. Drew says it’s alright, this is what happens. He doesn’t care about anybody else’s business, but no one gets away with screwing him over. And when no one meddles in his business, he wins! Drew called out Priest, where is he? Priest doesn’t have the balls! So time to get mad in the pubs, everyone’s invited!
Drew turns the corner, but PRIEST IS THERE! Priest ROCKS Drew, SMACKS him off the door, then throws him into road cases! Priest ROCKS Drew, SMACKS him off the trunk of a car, and then again! Or since it’s London, “the boot.” The driver complains, but Priest BODY SLAMS that guy through a table! Drew comes back to KNEE Priest low, SMACK him off the trunk, and then off the side! They go to the hood, or bonnet for UK. Drew drags Priest up, but Priest CLAWS Drew’s eyes! Priest then sends Drew SOUTH OF HEAVEN through the windshield! Priest tells security that he’s done for now. Any more jokes, Drew? Didn’t think so! RIP, jackass!
Priest leaves, the producers hurry to help Drew, and Drew’s got glass in his eye! Will that glass help Drew see why he shouldn’t piss off the Punisher?
CM Punk heads to gorilla.
He has a security detail with him, and he passes by Drew writhing in pain. Punk chuckles, then continues on. Will his contract signing with Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins be just as brutal? We find out, after the break.
Nick Aldis is in the ring.
The SmackDown General Manager welcomes us back, and says it is his honor and privilege to be here in the O2 in London. Now, we all know why he and this table is here, and why additional security is here tonight. Tonight, we are here to sign a contract for a Triple Threat. Perhaps the biggest Triple Threat in the history of WrestleMania: Seth Rollins VS CM Punk VS Roman Reigns! The fans cheer all those names, and here comes the OTC! London puts the ones up, and Paul Heyman accompanies THE Tribal Chief out on stage. Roman raises his finger to the sky for the pyro, then security follows him to the ring.
SmackDown goes picture in picture as Roman’s entrance continues, and he raises his finger to the sky for the second round of pyro. Roman steps into the ring, SmackDown returns to single picture, and Heyman hands him a mic. The fans sing, “ROMAN! ROMAN REIGNS~!” Roman nods, the fans cheer, and now they chant, “O T C! O T C!” Roman tells London, “ACKNOWLEDGE ME!” The fans cheer again, and again chant, “O T C! O T C!” Roman smiles, but he sees the chairs are not to his liking. Heyman makes sure to put one at the head of the table. Heyman also dusts the chair off while Roman enjoys the singing of, “ROMAN! ROMAN REIGNS~!”
Roman takes a seat and says that was beautiful. The way they sing to their Tribal Chief, it’s just beautiful. The singing continues, and Heyman even joins in! Roman smiles, and he says that is what he’s talking about. That’s the OTC for you, baby! The biggest star on the planet! The OTC came here for two reasons. One: to be acknowledged; check! And two: to sign this contract. Roman does just that, and he says he’s checked both boxes. That means- “BURN IT DOWN!” Seth Rollins interrupts! The fans now sing, “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~!” Rollins struts out in his red wine paisley suit and conducts the O2 Choir all the way into the ring.
The fans cheer while Roman frowns, but Rollins takes the seat to Roman’s left. Rollins offers Heyman a chance to sing to this song, but Heyman frowns. Rollins chuckles, and he says the fans do have beautiful singing voices. He doesn’t know why Roman is in such a hurry to leave, though! This is their building! There’s a lot of history here! 12 years ago, they landed on the roof of this place in a helicopter! They came down those stairs over there, “ready to burn down the old guard!” They put the Undertaker down through the desk, and they were going to remake this company in their image!
Now don’t get him wrong, Rollins knows a lot has happened since then. They fought against each other, with each other, a little bit of love and a whole lot of hate. But Rollins dare says, as the fans continue to sing “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~,” that Rollins and Roman accomplished their mission. The fans start to chant for CM Punk, but Rollins tunes them out. Roman says, “We? We? You keep saying we. Our mission? We died a long time ago. It’s only been ME. You been here, but I done all the work! I’ve made this place what it is today! I took us to the level that we are here today! I made this place better than we found it!
“I’m the one that made us desirable to Netflix! I’m the one that took us into billion-dollar deals! Tell me, what have you done?” Rollins shouts, “I’ll tell you what I’ve done! YOU, YOU, YOU, it’s that mindset that keeps me having to screw you! You understand that? And your biggest mistake is not understanding the danger that’s right in front of us! The danger that’s right in front of you! You let the biggest snake in the world, CM Punk, into the garden! And you could’ve cut his head off at WarGames! But instead, you shook his hand. You could’ve let me finish him inside the cage at The Garden, but you didn’t. And now, I am left to do what I always do: Clean up your mess, again.”
Rollins drops his mic, picks up the pen, and signs his part. And now, here comes CM PUNK! The fans fire up and sing along with Cult of Personality, then join in on saying, “IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME~!” Punk goes to the ring, but as he grabs a mic, he goes up a corner, just like he did last Friday. “I have come here to chew bubblegum and sign a contract. And I’m all outta bubblegum.” The fans cheer the Rowdy Roddy Piper reference, and Punk hops down to take his seat on Roman’s right. Punk looks over said contract, but Roman asks if Punk needs a highlighter or something. What’s he doing? Just go to page four, clause five.
Punk does as Roman says, but Roman says Punk needs to hurry, this is precious TV time. Punk reads the segment, Roman tells Heyman to just smarten Punk up. Heyman tells Punk he knows what Punk is looking for. It is in there. They’re closing the show at WrestleMania. The fans go wild hearing that! Heyman tells Punk that he gets to live his dream of dreams. CM Punk will be a WrestleMania main eventer! The fans cheer and while Roman smiles, Rollins is furious. Roman says, “One man’s dream is another man’s favor! CHECK!” Wait, this was the favor? Rollins says no! This is not something to laugh at, and Punk does not get to tear up!
Punk is NOT deserving! He does NOT deserve this! The fans boo but Rollins continues to throw a fit! Main eventing WrestleMania is SACRED, the most important thing in the world to Rollins! More than anything! Except the fact that Punk NEVER gets to main event! This is all Roman’s fault! This is all Heyman’s fault! Rollins THROWS his mic down, paces angrily, but Punk picks up the mic. The fans cheer Punk on again, and Punk stands to thank London, to thank Chicago, to thank Louisville, Kentucky, and to thank ALL the fans. As corny as it sounds, he thanks the WWE Universe who stood by him and chanted his name for TEN LONG YEARS!
Roman says hold on, hold on. Punk shouldn’t be thanking the fans! He should be thanking the Tribal Chief! It is because of Roman that Punk gets this honor! So please, take this moment, close the show with that acknowledgement! Do this the right way. The credits are already rolling as Punk kneels before Roman!? Punk smiles, and he thanks “My Tribal Chief, the holder of the ula fala, the Head of the Table, the… Big Dog? Thank you for allowing a kid from Chicago to be graced by your presence. Thank you, My Tribal Chief, for allowing me to stand in your ring. And thank you so much. Thank you, Roman Reigns, so very much.
“But because of you, I will see you in the main event of WrestleMania.” And again, Rollins is agonizing over this. Punk finishes putting his signature on the contract, and London tells him, “You Deserve It!” Punk thanks Roman again, and then says, “But that’s not the favor that I’m owed.” WHAT?! Roman looks at Heyman and Heyman can’t look him in the eye! If getting this Triple Threat made into the main event isn’t the gift of the Wise Man, then what is?!
My Thoughts:
A good SmackDown, but they pulled off quite the paradox. They made it feel like they were struggling to fill three hours, yet they also filled the show to the point where that contract signing segment was almost bleeding over the three hour mark. Ironically, part of the problem was just how excited the London crowd was for this. The superstars still wanted to enjoy the chants and songs, but that’s time SmackDown doesn’t have to spare. It made the opening promo from Cody, Orton and Drew take longer, and it kinda did the same to the contract signing at the end. Even so, we still got a very good promo, and good stuff to set up Orton VS McIntyre.
Orton VS McIntyre was a great match, but of course Kevin costs Orton. McIntyre gets his win, Kevin and Orton have a bit of a brawl, but of course Kevin ends up on the losing end and runs off. McIntyre’s trash talk also comes back to bite him as Priest gets the better of him in their brawl. Here’s hoping Drew didn’t actually get glass in his eye, but that being the thing in kayfabe can be some good stuff. I can imagine McIntyre with an eyepatch, and he takes it off at the opportune time to get the better of Priest in their match. Also what a fitting choice for Punk to be passing by Drew suffering because of real glass.
Very good title matches tonight, but of course the status quo was kept. Pretty Deadly gets to look great here in London, but the Profits only just got the belts, they’re not going to be transitional champions like that. And Knight VS Braun was really good stuff, but honestly, Jacob Fatu going after them both should’ve been a given. Jacob also had a great promo with Solo & Tama to start adding to that divide between Jacob and Solo. I would hope Solo doesn’t screw Jacob out of the US Championship, but it feels like he will as Solo won’t stand for Jacob defying his authority, even though Solo’s been trying to make Jacob the champion all along.
Very good stuff from Jimmy Uso tonight, from his promo with #MeloDon’tMiz and then a great match with Miz. Their match ended up the de facto main event match, so that’s also great for both guys. Great win for Jimmy, but that’s likely because Jimmy is losing big time to Gunther on Monday. And it might just be me, but it feels like only now is the Jey VS Gunther build really moving, largely in part because Jimmy got involved. Jimmy’s promo after his match is something along the lines of what Jey should be saying. But I suppose as brothers, Jimmy is the one who knows Jey best and knows what Jey needs to be motivated again. And seeing Jimmy get beat up by Gunther will definitely motivate Jey…
Good final vignettes for Rey Fenix and Aleister Black. I’m a little surprised they confirmed Rey Fenix is showing up next week, and that they confirmed who Rey Fenix even is. I believe commentary confirmed Rey Fenix is Penta’s real brother, even namedropped “Lucha Brothers,” but all that is still surprising considering Fenix is going to start on SmackDown. Aleister’s vignette (at least I am fairly confident it’s his) was giving us glimpses of his silhouette, but I think there was usage of AI in the snake imagery. It was fine they did it for El Grande Americano because that is all trolling, but they really should try and do things the old fashioned way of photoshop and stock imagery.
Very good stuff in the Women’s Division tonight, though the WWE Women’s Championship portion was the weaker. Naomi’s got a great Heel persona going, her promo was great, and her going after B-Fab & Michin over them supporting Jade was a great detail. Jade runs Naomi off, helps B-Fab, but there was no helping Michin in being fed to Charlotte. Tiffany had a decent promo, and it does fit how Charlotte kept her from speaking so she finally gets things out here. It didn’t really add that much, though, but they already gave us a great brawl so not sure what more they can give.
KC Squared VS The Secret Her-vice was a very good match, but of course Chelsea made sure her team won. A Six Woman Tag of Zelina & KC Squared VS The Green Administration is certainly coming, to help give us Zelina VS Chelsea for the Women’s US Championship.
My Score: 8.7/10
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Coverage
Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 3.27.2025
Bad news out of the TNA management side, but this is a taped episode from El Paso! So we won’t see any of the fallout just yet!
Now we all heard the news about the TNA change in hierarchy, and I…have no positive outlook on that. Delirious sucked at booking and creative in the dying days of ROH before it got bought as a B show. Dreamer having even more control is concerning because his ideas the last two years haven’t been much better.
Gail leaving makes more sense to me. Be it firing or a “you can’t quit, you’re fired” kind of situation, the Knockouts division is the worst it’s been in a long time and Gail was close with Scott D’Amore. So I don’t think Gail parting ways is as big of a problem since TNA has slowly been bleeding out with the Scott faithful.
Granted, I think the next few shows were already taped before the firing so things shouldn’t be completely unwatchable for at least a week or two. So let’s see where we’re going.
.@WeAreRosemary sends @XiaBrookside a CHILLING message!
WATCH #TNAiMPACT on TNA+: https://t.co/LaVxF6l2yc pic.twitter.com/srciTTbel0
— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) March 28, 2025
Ratings:
- Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley vs Elegance Clique w/Personal Concierge: Ash wins via Rarefied Air – ** 1/4
- Fir$t Cla$$ & Frankie Kazarian vs Laredo Kid, Octagon Jr & Chavo Guerrero Jr: Chavo wins via Gory Bomb into Frog Splash – *** 1/4
- Jacy Jayne vs Masha Slamovich: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – ***
- Eric Young w/two losers vs Ace Austin: Eric wins via Piledriver – ** 1/2
- Seto & Mokuba – I mean – Nic Nemeth w/Ryan Nemeth vs Leon Slater: Nic wins via Danger Zone – *** 1/4
Results:
Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley vs Elegance Clique w/Personal Concierge
Ash and Gigi start off, Gigi with a little Rascalz after her first takedown. So both her and Wentz are making it obvious something’s going on between them, and I’m not mad at it. Good for my man Wentz.
Tatum and Gigi get some quick tandem offense in, Ash does manage to scurry off to a tag and Heather gets bent into a Pretzel. Some kind of Inverted Tarantula from Tatum, Gigi tags in, Bronco Buster on Heather followed by Kawada Kicks. Heather sells against the ropes, Gigi goes for a Hesitation Dropkick, but Concierge pulls her away so Gigi crashes and burns. Ref is distracted, Ash gets in some cheap shots and then the Elegant duo starts working over Gigi. A few quick tags, but once Heather comes in, Gigi fights out of the corner, gets the hot tag to Tatum. Tatum stacks up both Elegance members, Corner Stacked Crossbody, Butterfly Suplex and an Elbow Drop with some some flare. Tatum goes to the top rope, Heather pulls Gigi off the apron, Concierge shoves Tatum off the turnbuckle and Ash hits Rarefied Air for the win.
Post match the Elegance Clique wants to make their wish with the cake, they light the candles and Tatum and Gigi recover enough to do what we all expected last week, the cake in the face spot. Some…suggestive licking from both of our Hot Topic Hotties, so…no complaints here.
.@Ashamae_Sebera, @Heathereckless and @IamGeorgeIceman are having a meltdown!
WATCH #TNAiMPACT on TNA+: https://t.co/LaVxF6l2yc pic.twitter.com/FnKwPqm2ff
— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) March 28, 2025
Fir$t Cla$$ & Frankie Kazarian vs Laredo Kid, Octagon Jr & Chavo Guerrero Jr
Chavo and Kaz start since he’s King Petty, a quick rope run turns into a Headscissor from Chavo. Kaz recovers, they lock up, Kaz hits the Knee Lift during the lock up to tag out to KC. KC pulls off some athletic dodges, gloats a bit so Chavo waits, measures and nails a gorgeous Dropkick. Laredo comes in on fire, quick high spots that send KC bouncing around like HBK against Hulk. KC powders after sells the Satellite Takedown, AJ checks on him and we go to commercial.
Back from commercial, Octagon is lighting up KC’s chest with overhand chops, he perches, Sunset Headscissor Flip from corner to corner, KC tries to Back Drop him but Octagon does a headstand, kicks KC away and lays him out with a high spot. AJ gets on the apron to stop Octagon from running the ropes, the referee has a stroke or something because he stops paying attention and AJ pulls Octagon out of the ring and chucks him. KC with the Tope con Hilo and tag (tag ropes haven’t mattered since the 80s we all know this). So AJ is getting taunted by the crowd in Spanish, but he’s manhandling Octagon since it looks like a Child fighting their parent. AJ knocks off Chavo and Laredo, Laredo pops up and tries to get involved but he’s caught on the shoulders, Octagon goes for the Crossbody but gets caught and AJ pulls off “World’s Strongest Wasteland” but Chavo breaks up the pinfall. AJ throws Octagon into the corner, Tennessee Whiskey, and tag out to KC. KC hits a few moves, but starts to lose the momentum until he connects with a Super Kick. Simultaneous rope run into the Dueling Crossbodies, so we get the timely tag outs from both sides. Kaz and Laredo come in, Laredo lands like two moves before Kaz hits a Sole Butt, Lariat and eats his lunch. KC and Kaz try to double team Laredo but he fights out and the crowd is chanting for Chavo.
Chavo tags in, and he’s rocking KC, Saito Suplex, Low Bridge to AJ, Reverse the Whip so Chavo goes to the corner and perches, KC feeds, Chavo Backflips to safety, rolls through and lays out KC. Chavo is feeling himself, 3 Amigos start on KC but only 2, Kaz comes in and Chavo switches to Kaz for the Amigos, only 2 again before AJ breaks it up. AJ goes for the disrespect, but Chavo counters and hits the 3 Amigos on the biggest Culero. Aztec Warriors dive to stop AJ and Kaz, KC tries a Dirty Victory Roll but Chavo kicks out. GORY BOMB into FROG SPLASH!
Chavo looked fantastic and he’s the one in the best shape in the ring. I wouldn’t be mad at more Chavito.
Jacy Jayne vs Masha Slamovich
I expect very little from this match.
Collar and Elbow, gator rolling for the first 30 seconds or so, then Jacy goes to some Hair Pull takedowns and does a little taunt before Masha pops back up and hits a Lariat into a Dive. Jacy sells it like she’s really hurt, even the ref tries to hold Masha back a little before Masha gets annoyed and just grabs her, Masha throws her in, looks for a Dive and Jacy sees it and powders. Masha tries to go back to the well for the Dive again but Jacy hits the Uppercut and then an Apron Run PK to drop Masha. Forearms rain down into a Foot Choke as Jacy continues to arrogantly play to the crowd. Another Foot Choke into a Cannonball, and near fall.
Masha gets space with a Sole Butt, tries to snap off Requiem but Jacy fights off, fights through a Sunset Flip another effective PK keeps Masha on her ass. Jacy looks for a kinda half-assed Camel Clutch as Masha is fighting up, but Jacy runs her into the corner, gets distracted mouthing off to the crowd, so Masha recovers, 5 Hole Up Kick sends Jacy into the corner, Yakuza Kick into Capo Kick for two. Requiem attempt again, but Jacy pushes off, a little back and forth, Masha tries a Backslide but Jacy gets away and hits a V-Trigger but only a 2 count. Jacy looks for the Discus Punch but Masha ducks it, they strike back and forth, but some dodges from both leave the exchange more even. Jacy with the Front Kick to the face sends Masha to the outside. Jacy wants another PK, but Masha blocks, Electric Chair Apron Snake Eyes. Masha throws her in, a PK into a near all. Requiem attempt 3, and thwarted from Jacy with a Superkick into a Neckbreaker. Senton misses from Jacy, Buzzsaw Kick, into Spinning Back Kick and Russian Death Device for the win.
Better than I expected, and Tessa attacks as soon as the bell rings. Xia Brookside and Lei Ying Li make the save after Tessa grabs the belt.
Eric Young w/two losers vs Ace Austin
Ace and Eric tie up, World of Sport start but as soon as Ace starts to get away EY punches him in the face. Eric looks at the camera and says “This is what trust looks like”, turns his back on Ace, when Ace looks to attack, the loser duo cut him off. EY takes advantage of the weird situation, but Ace with some Up and Over quick spots, into an Inside Cradle and La Magistral. EY kicks out of the quick flash attempts, but eats a Dropkick, and Ace goes all Speed Kils on him with fast strikes and then a face buster for another near fall. Strike spot very early in the match, Ace gets the best of it, goes for a Tear Drop Suplex but EY sits on it to block, Headlocks to keep him close and then a snap Lariat into beatdown bully tactics. EY takes the referee’s attention and one of the nerds punch Ace in the face.
Eric tries to lean on Ace, but Ace fires, a few strikes, Click Click Boom, the Miz Seated Lariats in the corner, Mochizuki Triangle Kick connects! Only a 2 count, but Ace seems to be in control. Ace puts EY on the ropes, a few strikes to keep him rocked, wants a Superplex, but EY blocks, bites the face and Macho Elbow gets a very close two count. EY tries the Piledriver but Ace turns it into a Jacknife Cradle,Spinning Heel Kick, calls for The Fold, but the losers hop on the apron to distract, Ace attacks them. Ace tries to time out the Triangle Kick again, but Eric dodges, throws Ace head first through the buckles. As Ace stumbles out of the corner, Piledriver, and it’s over.
Oh look it’s the “we’ll hear from Joe Hendry” segment. Again, I’ve loved this gimmick since Day 1, even didn’t hate his What Culture Pro stuff, but there is such a thing as milking a cow too much.
Elijah interrupts the whole “Who’s next” speech. When Elijah comes out he says he’s not the challenger and he believes in Joe. The crowd wants Elijah to turn on Hendry. Elijah pauses for a moment, and starts proving his friendship with stating his favorite color and a little “You Got a Friend in Me”. The crowd is into singing along and waving their cameras like Lighters to a 30 year old song. THANKFULLY Kaz breaks up the hug fest. Now he gets the “Culero” chant.
Kaz pulls out a Bass…what the hell is this Jam Session. Kaz has to warm up so he plays “La Cucaracha” on the bass. Kaz…is a national treasure. Hendry kicks Kaz out of the ring after his Heelish and playfully racially charged song choices. Kaz tries to sow dissension, but Joe and Elijah pinball Kaz between them. Kaz slips a power move and tries to shove Elijah into Joe but Elijah puts the brakes on, a small tense moment. But then Joe and Elijah play “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey, Goodbye”…and that goes right into a commercial. Oddly…perfect.
Nic Nemeth w/Ryan Nemeth vs Leon Slater
Nic shoots the half immediately for a flash pinfall but Leon kicks out at one. Nic continues to keep things grounded with his amateur wrestling skills, and then does a little Dolph Ziggler show off. So Nic isn’t really taking this seriously, and Leon starts getting the best of things with an Arm Wringer, into drag, Shoulder Tackle and rope run as Nic tries to Leap Frog and Leon puts on the brakes and just shoves Nic on his ass. Nic gets annoyed, a few strikes, grinds his face along the ropes, but Leon keeps stringing some offense together, Back Handspring Elbow into his Corner con Hilo.
Ahh the classic formula of the commercial gives the heel the advantage, Twisting Suplex from Leon stops Nic’s offense momentum, right hand, Leon lifts Nic up for something, Nic slips it, kicks him in the gut, looks for the FameAsser, but Leon catches him into a Blue Thunder Bomb variation. Slater wants the Swanton 450, but Nic powders. Leon tries to adjust into a Dive, but Nic cuts him off, counter for counter and a FameAsser out of the counters for a two count. Nic starts the big brother tactics, bootwashes and arrogance, Slater fires, punches into a Yakuza Kick. Leon wants another Lethal Injection variant, but Nic catches him into a Rear Naked Choke. Slater tries to turn it into a pin so Nic breaks it. Leon wants a Leg Lariat but misses and gets unceremoniously dropped by Nic. Nic puts Leon up on the buckles, Superplex possibly but Slater counters, tries to collect himself for a move, but Nic falls into the ropes to crotch Leon, and finally hits the Superplex.
Twist of Slate from Leon, Swanton 450 but knees get up. Locomotion Cradles from both but they kick out, Ryan picks the ankle to trip up Leon just a touch and then Danger Zone ends the match.
Ryan starts the post match beatdown, but the Hardy’s music hits and they come down to the ring for the save. Matt challenges the Nemeths for Rebellion because they’re not medically cleared yet.
Overall Score: 6.5/10
Decent story motion, no match was offensive, and there was actually some solid match action for television standards. I don’t have a ton to complain about aside from the Knockouts Division is in a weird spot, and giving Hendry a lot of just talking and hollow payoff segments feels stupid. If we need to hear from him every week, give him a talk segment like Highlight Reel or something. Yes I know First Class just got The Penthouse, but if Hendry is going to talk more than wrestle, give him a talk segment for us to sink our teeth into.
There was the announcement that Xia, Lei Ying and Masha will face Tessa, Jacy and a mystery partner. So you gotta wonder if there’s going to be another NXT mercenary, a surprise return or if it’ll just be Rosemary since she’s got her issues with Xia. Also I just realized that Unbreakable is going to be on a Thursday, seemingly after iMPACT? I’m gonna have to see how they do it, because if there’s an Impact episode and 2-3 hour PLE…I do not want to be awake until 1am. People need to work, and I will be Unwakeable if things go that long.
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