Coverage
Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (7/8/22)
It’s time to Liv it up!
We’re LIVing in a new era for SmackDown!
In one fell swoop, Liv Morgan went from 2022 Miss Money in the Bank to our NEW SmackDown Women’s Champion! What is next? #WatchHer and find out!
OFFICIAL RESULTS
- The Viking Raiders VS Jinder Mahal & Shanky; The Viking Raiders win.
- WWE Intercontinental Championship Open Challenge: GUNTHER w/ Ludwig Kaiser VS ???; changed to…
- Ludwig Kaiser w/ GUNTHER VS Shinsuke Nakamura; Nakamura wins.
- Natalya VS Ronda Rousey; Rousey wins.
- Lacey Evans & Aliyah VS Shayna Baszler & Shotzi Blackheart; No Contest.
- Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championships Contenders Match: The Usos VS Los Lotharios; The Usos win and deny Los Lotharios a title match.
- Undisputed WWE Universal Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Drew McIntyre VS Sheamus; changed to…
- Drew McIntyre VS Pete Dunne w/ The Brawling Brutes; McIntyre wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
Roman Reigns is here!
The Tribal Chief, the Head of the Table, the Undisputed WWE Universal Champion, leads the Bloodline out, and of course Paul Heyman hands Roman the blue belt to raise to the sky for the pyro. Roman, Heyman and the Usos continue to the ring, where they raise all their belts again for more pyro. But wait! Mr. Money in the Bank, (Austin) Theory is on the stage! Is Theory thinking of cashing in tonight rather than at SummerSlam? We find out, after the break!
SmackDown returns and The Bloodline is standing in the ring but Theory is staying away. Heyman hands Roman a mic while fans are torn between cheers and jeers. Roman hears that, but still says, “Fort Worth, Texas… ACKNOWLEDGE ME!” Fans are still torn but Roman smiles. He can tell there’s the “You Suck” chants, there are “Roman” chants, but in the end, when the Tribal Chief is in the house, business picks up! And that means life is good. Life is so damn good! And he said this before: as long as God wakes Roman up, Roman can handle anything. Roman woke up in the compound, went to his private gym, then got on his private jet to come here.
Roman is breathing, healthy, happy to be at work and on HIS show, SmackDown! “It’s an absolute privilege and an honor to see my family, my Bloodline. And then I see my Wise Man, my Special Counsel, and he looks like this!” Heyman is frowning, is what he means. What happened? Why does Heyman look concerned? Roman asks Heyman why. The Tribal Chief is here, Heyman shouldn’t be concerned. Roman is the GOAT, he’s smashed ’em all! Feel confident that he’s here. What’s the problem here? Haven’t we been through this? We ain’t going back there. But how about this? Heyman, put your hand out.
Heyman gets nervous but Roman says it’s okay, just put the hand out. Heyman does just that, and Roman hands the mic back so he can tell us what’s wrong. “I love you, My Tribal Chief. And I love the Usos. But we have a problem, and that problem’s name… is BRRROCK! LESNARRR!” Fans cheer for The Beast as Heyman says that Roman is the GOAT, the Greatest Of All Time. In an era where NO ONE can hold onto a title, Roman holds onto BOTH heavyweight championships! He is the UNDISPUTED Champion, and has been for over 600, headed into 700, headed into 800 days, maybe even 1000! The longest reigning champion of the past 35 YEARS!
But the problem is, Brock Lesnar doesn’t respect that! Lesnar has one last chance against Roman, and has one last match against Roman, and when Lesnar is cornered, “that’s when the Beast is at his most dangerous.” Heyman knows because he’s known Lesnar for 20 years. Who was only 24 years old and wasn’t supposed to beat The Rock for the title? Brock Lesnar. Who went up against the 21-0 Undertaker at WrestleMania and wasn’t supposed to conquer the Streak? Brock Lesnar. And who has his back against the wall right now, My Tribal Chief? Who is in a do or die situation? Who becomes an obscure reference in history in the annals, in the chronicles, of the Tribal Chief or who ends this all? Brock. Lesnar.
Heyman is scared! What happens now is that we see Roman Reigns go savage! We see Roman be violent! We see Roman SMASH Lesnar! Because pinning Lesnar down for three second sis one thing, but putting him down for TEN, in his final title match, in a Last Man Standing Match, is a whole different story! Roman is gonna have to show up on July 30th in Nashville, Tennessee, and be a Roman like never before! Put on the best performance in the history of Roman Reign’s career! The most violent, the most diabolical, the most dangerous, the Beastslayer, the Conqueror of Conquerors, the GOAT of GOATS, until at the end they say, “Your winner, the Ultimate Needle Mover, the Tribal Chief, IN GOD MODE HIMSELF… ROMAN…! REIGNS!!”
Roman’s music hits and Heyman bows before his Tribal Chief. But then THEORY officially makes his entrance. He grins and makes a lap around the ring, holding his briefcase, before leaving. The Youngest Mr. MITB in WWE History is just keeping Roman aware of what’s coming even after the Last Man Standing match. Will Theory make Vince McMahon’s investment worth every penny?
The Viking Raiders VS Jinder Mahal & Shanky!
Erik & Ivar have shown they’re no longer having fun, they’re here to raid and rage and take over SmackDown’s Tag Division! Will the Modern Day Maharaja and Skyscraping Dance Machine feel the fury first hand? Or can Jinder make Shanky get serious and turn the tide?
SmackDown returns and the teams sort out. Shanky starts against Ivar, and Shanky starts wanting to groove! Jinder tags in and tells Shanky to stop it. Ivar and Jinder circle, tie up, and Ivar puts Jinder in the corner to fire off haymakers! Tag to Erik, the Vikings mug Jinder against ropes and then Erik grinds the shoulder. Fans rally as Jinder endures and fights back up. Jinder fights free and THRUST KICKS! But Shanky is too busy rallying the fans to tag! Erik tags Ivar, CLOBBERS Jinder, then DECKS Shanky! The Vikings get Jinder up for the DOUBLE POWERBOMB! Cover, the Viking Raiders win!
Winners: The Viking Raiders, by pinfall
But they’re not done! They stomp away Jinder, then Shanky gets in, only to get mugged! But here comes the NEW DAY! Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods tell the Vikings to hold on! Kofi will be honest, last week, the Vikings kicked their butts. And then the week before that. What are you guys? Seymour- BUT! See these right here? The New Day’s butts are still here! THICC AF, so the Vikings didn’t do the job. Furthermore, those were not sanctioned beatings. That means those don’t count! But ya bois found a relic from a kingdom long since passed. But since the Vikings are illiterate- Wait, they don’t know what that means… Uh, it means you can’t read.
So these are officially sanctioned ASS BEATING TICKETS! That means that tonight, right here in Fort Worth, it is time for the New Day to give the Vikings the whooping they deserve! BECAAAUSE! And the brawl is on!! Ivar puts Woods in a corner but Woods turns it around! Erik SLAMS Kofi, then KNEES Woods! Erik feeds Woods to Ivar’s SEATED SENTON! Fans boo as Ivar goes up and Erik drags Kofi up! Erik hands Kofi off for the SUPER POWERSLAM!! The Vikings stand tall over the former ELEVEN-TIME WWE Tag Team Champions once again, will they be the new rulers of tag team wrestling?
Pat McAfee is not here, Corey Graves is on commentary.
That’s because Baron Corbin attacked him after MITB went off the air last weekend! Corbin mugged McAfee then hit an END OF DAYS to the floor, all as his way of saying he accepts the challenge for SummerSlam! But wait, now Corbin is joining commentary to say he can do this 100 times better! Corey kisses up to Corbin and says McAfee doesn’t want none of Corbin.
WWE Intercontinental Championship Open Challenge: GUNTHER w/ Ludwig Kaiser VS ???
Der Ring General dispatched of former champion, Ricochet, and is ready to move on to someone, anyone, new. Though, given what he and the Impeccable German have been saying, no one will ever take this title from him, no matter who they are. So then, who steps up to challenge Gunther for this title? We’ll see, after the break.
SmackDown returns and Ludwig says, “Ladies and gentlemen… There is no competitor worthy of standing in the ring, much less competing with YOUR NEW Intercontinental Champion. It is our personal opinion that none of you in attendance are worthy of watching Der Ring General, Gunther, compete tonight. However, I know it’s customary for Intercontinental Champions of a lesser ilk to defend this championship against anyone in an Open Challenge.” Gunther says anyone who defends a title against a foe he does not know is a FOOL. Those who think he is taking on such a challenge is foolish! Someone has to be deserving of an opportunity to compete with him for the Intercontinental Championship!
Ludwig says they’re just being honest. But wait! Here comes SHINSUKE NAKAMURA! And Corbin on commentary pretends to be McAfee and gets pumped for the King of Strong Style as he makes his way out here. Gunther and Ludwig scowl while Nakamura gets the mic. Nakamura gets close to Gunther, looks him up and done, and says, “He doesn’t want to accept me? You keep your title for now. But Kaiser… I challenge YOU to a match, right now!!” If Nakamura has to earn his shot, he’ll earn his shot! Will Gunther’s lieutenant be used as a tune-up? Or can he deny Nakamura his golden opportunity?
Ludwig Kaiser w/ GUNTHER VS Shinsuke Nakamura!
The bell rings and Nakamura circles with Kaiser. They tie up, Nakamura fires off knees, then bumps Kaiser off buckles. Kaiser goes to boot but Nakamura blocks and puts Kaiser in the ropes to ROUNDHOUSE and SLIDING GERMAN! Nakamura stares down Gunther, then gets back in the ring. Kaiser CLOBBERS Nakamura, runs and DROPKICKS Nakamura out! Gunther mocks Nakamura, “What’s this?” while looming over him, and SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns and Kaiser has Nakamura’s arm in an armlock. Nakamura fights up but Kaiser knees low. Kaiser scoops but Nakamura slips off and runs to DYNAMIC DROPKICK! Fans fire up while both men are down! Nakamura gets up, blocks a punch to fire off a strike fest and AX KICK! Nakamura waits on Kaiser to sit up and he KICKS him in the chest again and again! Kaiser blocks a kick but not the ENZIGURI! Nakamura puts Kaiser in the corner for GOOD VIBRATIONS! Nakamura puts Kaiser up top on the corner and runs in, TOP SHELF KNEE! Cover, TWO! Corbin talks trash on McAfee, both how he is now and how he was in the NFL.
Nakamura drags Kaiser up to a SLEEPER, but Kaiser backs him into a corner! Kaiser blocks a boot, says “NEIN!” and GAMANGIRIS! Then BUTTERFLY SUPLEXES! Kaiser looms over Nakamura, drags him up, and runs, but Nakamura ducks the Penalty Kick! Kaiser ducks a roundhouse but not the WHEEL KICK! Nakamura aims, to KINSHASA! Cover, Nakamura wins!
Winner: Shinsuke Nakamura, by pinfall
Opportunity earned! Gunther is furious with Kaiser for failing him, and then demands he stand back up. Kaiser gets to his feet while fans cheer for “USA! USA!” Gunther CHOPS Kaiser as his punishment for losing! But Gunther says it isn’t over, he wants Kaiser to get up again. Kaiser does, and Gunther CHOPS him again! Gunther tells Kaiser to get up to take this like a man, and then he CHOPS Kaiser off his feet! Imperium does not tolerate failure or weakness, but will Gunther have to accept what’s coming from the King of Strong Style?
Liv Morgan is here!
Fort Worth fires up for the NEW SmackDown Women’s Champion as she heads to the ring. She cashed in on Ronda Rousey and took the gold, but who will her first defense as champion be against? We’ll find out, after the break.
SmackDown returns and Michael Cole interviews Liv in the ring. He congratulates her and she says thanks. Fans chant, “You Deserve It!” and Cole agrees she does. Last Saturday, Liv etched her name in history by climbing the ladder, grabbing the MITB contract, and just two hours later, she cashed in on the Baddest Woman on the Planet! Now let’s keep in mind that Ronda had suffered a knee injury against Natalya, so she’ll surely want a rematch. It could be SummerSlam. Liv says bring it! She can’t wait either way, because this title is the culmination of a lifetime of hard work, sweat and tears.
Liv knows exactly what it took for her to get where she is today, and she’ll work 10 times harder to stay. She promises us that NO ONE wants this title more than her! Cole talks about how 10 years ago, she was a waitress, saving up to train as a sports entertainer. And over the last decade, she scratched, clawed, learned, tried, and almost got there, only to have it pulled away from her. She wears her heart on her sleeve, suffered setbacks, but for the first time, she gets to experience the jubilation. What does it mean for her to finally be champion in the WWE? Liv has a big smile and fans cheer as she says, “This means everything to me. Absolutely everything to me.”
Liv dreamed about this her entire life, and it got hard because she felt she’d never get here. But here she is! She wants to take this as a reminder that, as John Cena would say, you should #NeverGiveUp! But then Natalya makes her way out here! The Queen of Harts says she can dream, too. Of when Liv will finally shut up! The only reason Liv is champion is because of Natty! Liv’s little Cinderella Story ends at SummerSlam, and the clock strikes midnight. There is no way in Hell Liv would’ve beaten a fresh Ronda! Liv won because Natty hurt Ronda! Natty loved watching Ronda scream in pain. so while Natty lost the match, she enjoyed what happened.
Liv and Natty talk trash, but wait! RONDA IS HERE! The Baddest Woman has just the slightest hobble but she’s not letting that get to her. Ronda joins Natty and Liv in the ring, gets herself a mic, and congratulates Liv for seizing the moment at MITB. But savor the honeymoon phase, because at SummerSlam, you’ll learn challenging for a title is a whole lot easier than defending one. But Natty, did you say you enjoyed hurting Ronda? And she took credit for Ronda losing the title? Well, consider Ronda convinced. She’s not dressed to compete right now, but Fort Worth, do you want to see Ronda beat the crap out of Natty?
Fans cheer but Natty sucker punches Ronda! Natty then goes for Liv but Liv hits her first and sends her out! Liv grabs up the belt to hold it up, ready to take on anyone! But uh, Ronda is back up on her feet. Will Liv have to worry about more than one challenger on the road to SummerSlam?
Natalya VS Ronda Rousey!
Made official during the break, it’s a rematch from MITB! There will be major title opportunity implications on the line, will the Queen of Harts hurt Ronda more? Or will the Baddest Woman on the Planet return the favor?
The bell rings and the two tie up. Ronda kicks Natty’s leg, then kick sit again! Ronda ties the leg up around ropes then throws elbows! The ref counts while Ronda pulls on the leg, but Ronda lets off at 4. Ronda KICKS the leg again and Natty bails out. Natty hobbles now but Ronda pursues. Ronda taunts Natty, Natty crawls into the ring, but Ronda gets the leg to SMASH it on the apron! Natty writhes and rolls away but Ronda tells her to get back here. Ronda pursues Natty to the ramp, and she KICKS the leg! Natty hobbles but Ronda fires off body shots! Ronda punches Natty back to ringside to then fireman’s carry, and SLAM her on the apron!
Ronda keeps after Natty’s leg, then gets on the apron for an ANKLE LOCK! The ref counts, Ronda lets go at 4, and Natty flops into the ring. Ronda says she’s going to have fun like Natty did, and puts the ANKLE LOCK back on! Natty fights up but Ronda hits an EXPLODER! Ronda turns Natty back over for one more ANKLE LOCK! Natty endures, even as Ronda puts on the GRAPEVINE!! Natty screams but TAPS, Ronda wins!
Winner: Ronda Rousey, by submission
Rowdy Ronda gets revenge on Natty for her leg, but this is just step one. Will Liv have to protect every limb she has at SummerSlam?
Backstage interview with Drew McIntyre.
Megan asks the Scottish Warrior about tonight’s #1 contenders match, with Sheamus and his Brawling Brutes being his only obstacle. How does he plan on handling them? McIntyre says he went to Europe, to Cardiff, to the castle, and Clash at the Castle is going to be huge. And McIntyre is making it clear now: Whoever is coming out of SummerSlam the champion, McIntyre’s coming after them! It could be Roman Reigns, it could be Brock Lesnar, or it could be the New Chosen One, (Austin) Theory. But that doesn’t matter now. McIntyre has his attention focused on his old nemesis, Sheamus.
McIntyre and Sheamus go way back, to when they were 19 and 47. So many ups and downs, this high stakes match is appropriately happening in Texas because everything is bigger in Texas! Especially steaks! But yes, the Brutes. He knows the first chance, they’ll go after McIntyre. But McIntyre has the deadliest three in the WWE, and it’ll be the last thing Sheamus hears before McIntyre kicks his head off his body. And what three does he mean? THREE! TWO! ONE! BOOM!! Will the Scottish Warrior slay the Celtic Warrior and be ready for the Universal Champion in Cardiff?
Max Dupri is in the ring.
The founder of Maximum Male Models is given a formal introduction with a drum roll, and he thanks us. “The highly anticipated debut of Maximum Male Models was not only a smashing success, but a viral sensation. And this week, we offer a captivating treat to the WWE Universe as we present the 2022 Tennis Collection!” Fans boo already, but first up is “a man whose looks will serve your inner needs and desires. Here is… Maçè!” The man formerly called Mace struts out in white shorts and blue Polo while holding an old style wooden racket.
Dupri says MMM embodies athletic excellence and elegance. The sleeves are accentuated by Maçè’s 80 inch wingspan and 20 inch biceps while allowing efficient breathing room for the perfect backhand. The lightweight bottoms hug the thighs and hamstrings, further accentuating the spectacle required to grace the court. Maçè struts back up the ramp and that of course means up next is “a man who oozes appeal and evinces the essence of game, set, match. Ladies and gentlemen… Mansôör!” Mansoor struts out, in his own white shorts, a white Polo with blue sleeves, and a headband.
Mansôör strikes a pose as Dupri says he takes proportions to another level. Notice Mansôör’s broad shoulders, and that dazzling chest-to-torso ratio. Those strapping biceps are accentuated by the finest cloth so that he can provide a strong stroke over the net. Mansôör struts back up the ramp, and Dupri says only the most “penetrating” look can be represented by MMM. “If you feel you have what it takes to strut down that aisle the way they do, please, submit your full body photos to our official website, MaximumMaleModels.com. But if you do not have the qualities, the natural qualities of a Maçè and Mansôör, don’t bother.” Dupri’s clients walk back out for one more pose and Dupri wants another round of applause for the men that embody the mantra, “Titillate the juices of your guilty pleasures.”
Backstage interview with (Austin) Theory.
Kayla Braxton asks what was the message Theory was trying to send Roman Reigns earlier tonight. Theory was letting the Tribal Chief that the Youngest Mr. MITB is always watching. And y’know what? Between them, Theory would love to cash in on Lesnar after how he treated Theory, but he might just cash in on Roman. Theory got to see just how arrogant Roman is up close! Kayla says Theory does know something about arrogance. Oh ha ha. People don’t like him, but he loves that! Everyone is just looking for someone to knock Roman off his pedestal, and it could be Theory! Theory WILL become a two-time United States Champion after he defeats Bobby Lashley.
And that Last Man Standing match, whoever survives better be ready. Lesnar and Roman are going to beat the hell out of each other all over the arena. They could go into the rafters, the stands, the parking lot, or even on the roof! But that’s besides the point. Roman Reigns is screwed! Either Lesnar beats him or Theory does, and the same way for Lesnar if he does win. Theory leaves, but Mad Cap Moss walks in! Moss says that is a big briefcase, but he bets he can shove all of that down Theory’s throat. Moss would love to try, Will Moss get his chance at shutting Theory up before SummerSlam?
Lacey Evans & Aliyah VS Shayna Baszler & Shotzi Blackheart!
The Model Soldier and #Aliyah316 team up to take on the Queen of Spades and Wild Child, but which duo proves to be the stronger?
SmackDown returns as Lacey makes her entrance. Or at least, we think? Okay, there’s Lacey! Wait, she says she wants a bigger response? She goes backstage again and redoes her entrance. Fans cheer and Lacey still seems dissatisfied. She gets a mic and gets in the ring to say, “Before my opponents come out, I just wanted to take a minute.” Fans are booing as she says she is just disgusted from them. This is the response she gets? That reaction right there? Do they not know who she is? Don’t they know what she’s been through? She knows they do because she poured her heart and soul out on live TV! She did that to help the fans!
And for what? For that reaction? Lacey says it must bother them that they look at a woman like her and they realize how weak they are. They know her struggles and deep down, they know they can’t be half the person she is. The truth hurts, but when Lacey Evans comes out and gets in the ring, she gets a standing ovation! Standing, meaning up on your feet. Fans boo more and Lacey isn’t sure what it is. Are they too weighed down by the pulled pork? That’s what she sees, at least. It makes her sick! The fans are disgusting! Fans chant “YOU SUCK!” and she says no, she is an American Hero! She put her life on the line for the likes of you! But for what?!
Until Lacey gets the respect she deserves, everyone else can go to Hell! Lacey drops the mic, then goes to leave. Aliyah tells her to hold on, they have a match! But then Lacey uses her WOMAN’S RIGHT to knock Aliyah off her feet! Lacey leaves, and there’s no match now. Will Lacey get any respect from anyone acting like this?
Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championships Contenders Match: The Usos VS Los Lotharios!
Jimmy & Jey are ready to represent for The Bloodline, but will Angel Garza & Humberto Carrillo earn themselves an opportunity to represent for their familia? We find out, after the break.
SmackDown returns and the match is already underway as Jimmy CHOPS Carrillo! And CHOPS again! Carrillo wernches an arm to a wristlock, but Jimmy fights up to whip Carrillo away. Jimmy back drops but Carrillo lands on his feet! Garza tags in while Jimmy puts up the finger to the sky, but Carrillo feeds Jimmy to a GAMANGIRI! Jey runs in but is also sent out! Garza trips Jey, tags Carrillo, and they DOUBLE PENALTY KICK at the ropes! The Usos regroup but Los Lotharios build speed, to fake them out! The Usos rush in but Los Lotharios slide out! Garza & Carrillo egg Jimmy & Jey on, and then slide back in as the Usos slide out!
The Usos hurry to the apron but the Lethal Lovers BOOT both of them down! And then OFF COME GARZA’S PANTS! Garza throws the tearaways at the fans, Jimmy rushes in but into an arm-drag! Carrillo KICKS and ROCKS and CHOPS, but Jey tags in before the whip. Jimmy reverses, pop-up SAMOAN DROP! Jimmy SUPERKICKS Garza, Jey covers Carrillo, but Garza breaks it in time! Garza then SUPERKICKS Jimmy down! And then PLANCHAS into a SUPERKICK! Jey is up top but Carrillo goes after him! Jey shoves Carrillo away but Carrillo flips back to land on his feet! Jey SUPERKICKS Carrillo, too!
Tag to Jimmy and Jey drags Carrillo up. ONE AND DONE!! Cover, the Usos win!
Winners: The Usos, by pinfall (DENIES Los Lotharios a title match)
Garza & Carrillo fought hard, as multi-generational wrestlers do, but the Usos are the winners again! Kayla interviews them to congratulate them on tonight’s win, as well as the win at MITB, if they can really say that was a win. What? Well, Kayla says they got away with one. Got away with what?! Well, the footage shows that Montez Ford did get his shoulder up. The ref missed it, so the Street Profits lost on a technicality. So then, the Usos got away with one. What?! Do the Undisputed Champs look like they need to cheat?! Well…
Jimmy says that if that is cheating, if pinning the Profits in the middle of the ring 1-2-3 is cheating, then yeah, they cheated! But check it! That ain’t on the Usos, that’s on the ref. Well, there are rumors that there will be a special guest referee in the tag title rematch for SummerSlam. Oh? That’s cool. Well, if they’re taking volunteers, Jimmy has one in mind. Jimmy does the Superman reload motion to imply Roman. But anyone can count to three. And the Profits will get popped with the One ‘n ‘Done again. That makes them the twos, and #WeTheOnes! Jimmy & Jey are fired up, but will they get lucky again like they did in Vegas?
Undisputed WWE Universal Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Drew McIntyre VS Sheamus w/ The Brawling Brutes!
The Celtic Connection clashes again, but only one can claim that golden ticket to Clash at the Castle! Will McIntyre’s Claymore clobber The Fella once and for all? Or will Sheamus’ Brogue step all over the Scottish Warrior’s hopes of returning to the title?
SmackDown returns and Sheamus makes his entrance, with Ridge Holland and “Butch” Pete Dunne by his side. Ridge has to hold Dunne back and Sheamus gets the mic. “Hold your horses there, fellas. Whoa, bitty!” Sheamus says it is him and McIntyre for the big one. The winner tonight goes on to the Clash at the Castle for a championship match! And Sheamus has McIntyre’s number. The truth of the matter is… Sheamus gets a rasp in his throat? Sheamus needs a drink maybe? He hopes he doesn’t have COVID or something. Sheamus says he has to get tested and can’t compete otherwise. But he says no worries! He has a backup plan!
Tonight, it won’t be THE match, because his buddy, Butch, is foaming at the mouth to get at McIntyre! So McIntyre, no worries, him and Ridge will be ringside if you miss him. “Go get ’em, Butchy!”
Drew McIntyre VS Pete Dunne w/ The Brawling Brutes!
The bell rings, Dunne rushes McIntyre and fires off forearms! But McIntyre clinches to OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Sheamus distracts McIntyre but backs off as McIntyre swipes at him. McIntyre runs at Dunne but Dunne BOOTS him! Dunne fires off on McIntyre, and jumps on to go after the arm! McIntyre endures the double wristlock, throws body shots, and powers up and out of the hold! GLASGOW KISS! Dunne holds on with the body scissors, but McIntyre drags him up to OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! McIntyre calls for the countdown, but Ridge gets on the apron. McIntyre DECKS Ridge, but runs into a GAMANGIRI from Dunne!
Dunne goes up, leaps, but McIntyre dodges to NECKBREAKER! And kip up! Fans fire up with McIntyre, he aims from the corner, and counts it down! “THREE! TWO! ONE!!” CLAYMORE!! Cover, McIntyre wins!
Winner: Drew McIntyre, by pinfall
But then Ridge attacks! He and McIntyre brawl, FUTURE SHOCK for Ridge the Fridge! Fans fire up and McIntyre is staring down Sheamus! Sheamus storms in, but McIntyre has Angela the sword at the ready! Sheamus backs off and says McIntyre doesn’t have it in him to really swing. McIntyre swings and he cuts the rope!! And the pyro goes off, too! Will McIntyre shred Sheamus to make it crystal clear who gets to Clash at the Castle with the Universal Champion?
My Thoughts:
I want to say this was a good episode, but we all know this could’ve been much better. For one, the main event we just got felt more like a bunch of BS filler. Sheamus faking a COVID concern to delay the contender’s match is so blatantly a Vince McMahon type of move, and I just can’t stand it. McIntyre squashing Dunne was also BS, a match of those two deserves to be much, much better than this. They’ll probably keep doing this so that McIntyre beats Ridge Holland, and then maybe on SummerSlam, we get McIntyre VS Sheamus to name a contender. Then, the first ten minutes of the show was a MITB recap package, then the Bloodline’s entrance, and then Theory standing on stage. Can’t WWE arrange the show better than that?
Roman and Heyman still had a good promo, and if Theory had only done his buzz-by here, it would’ve been fine. Theory’s interview promo later was better, and I like that Moss wants to step to Mr. MITB. They’re going to have a great match, especially as two young stars WWE will rely on, and honestly need, going forward. As for the Usos, if WWE took Los Lotharios more seriously, we could actually have a great feud of wrestling legacies here with Usos VS Garza & Carrillo. But no, Los Lotharios were in a contenders match just to get crushed, and then we had a rather sloppy way for them to set up the Usos VS Profits rematch. And that special referee has got to be Sami Zayn for the story of Honorary Uce to continue.
Viking Raiders of course squash Jinder & Shanky, all because Shanky couldn’t stop partying when a serious threat was in front of him. A bit of a low point for Shanky’s story, as was the New Day storming up on The Viking Raiders just to get bodied all over again. There has to be something Adam Pearce does to make sure New Day VS Viking Raiders actually happens, since we saw Erik & Ivar just beat up Woods & Kofi to throw the match out. Then we can finally get a great match out of them, as we all know they can deliver. Nakamura delivered in a match with Kaiser, though they didn’t outright make this a contenders match. Gunther punishing Kaiser with chops was a great addition to his character, not even NXT/NXT UK Walter did that.
I said last week that the Maximum Male Models debut was a train wreck, and I stand by that. This week’s segment was still just as dumb, but the impact is lessened by seeing it already. They just need to have a match already so we can see what their characters wrestle like. Slightly better was Lacey’s Heel turn happening all because the fans weren’t as excited as she wanted them to be. I was hoping it would’ve been the usual “losing makes the Face snap and turn,” where she and Aliyah lose to Shotzi & Shayna, but just like with MMM, ripping the Band-Aid off is for the best. Lacey is Heel, she can feud with Aliyah or Raquel, then get after Face champion Liv Morgan.
Liv Morgan had a good promo to celebrate her win, but Natty’s promo recycled much of what she said on Raw. Ronda showing up was a bit of a surprise, but she did a good job with her promo. I was also surprised we got Natty VS Ronda, and I was disappointed that Ronda basically squashed Natty while hurt when she struggled with Natty at 100%. And yet, it isn’t just clear that Ronda’s getting the SummerSlam match. Can someone else get in on this story? Like a returning Bayley? Why can’t Bayley get involved, it’s known that she is all healed up.
My Score: 7.9/10
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London calling to the champion crowns!
SmackDown brings gold to London as LA Knight defends his WWE US Championship and The Street Profits defend their tag team titles! Will the landscape change this close to WrestleMania?
OFFICIAL RESULTS
- WWE Tag Team Championships: The Street Profits VS Pretty Deadly; The Profits win and retain the titles.
- Kayden Carter & Katana Chance VS The Secret Her-vice w/ Chelsea Green; The Secret Her-vice wins.
- WWE United States Championship: LA Knight VS Braun Strowman; Braun wins, by disqualification, and Knight retains the title.
- Charlotte Flair VS Mia Yim w/ B-Fab; Charlotte wins.
- Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre; McIntyre wins.
- Jimmy Uso VS The Miz; Jimmy wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
Cody Rhodes is here!
We follow The American Nightmare as walks to gorilla, then through the curtain, and London sings along with the song, “WHOA~ OH~!” Cody gets his pyro, says hello to fans along the ramp, and then we get the second “WHOA~ OH~!” and pyro. Cody goes to the ring, grabs a mic, then kneels down to kiss the WWE logo on the mat. The fans continue to sing along all the way to the end, “I AM MY KINGDOM!” The fans then cheer, and Cody holds up the belt to fire them up even more! The fans now sing for “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” and he soaks it in. The fans cheer again as Cody smiles, and he finally says, “So, London~! Whaddya wanna talk about?”
The fans chant “Let’s Go, Cena!” “CENA SUCKS!” Cody hears that dueling, and he smiles again. The song of “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” returns, then they cheer. Cody says, “At WrestleMania 41, I will be facing John Cena…” The fans boo, but Cody says, “I will be facing John Cena as he goes to break the record and win 17. But that is WrestleMania 41. In just a few nights, I will be standing face to face with John Cena in this very same city, in this very same arena.” The fans cheer that, but then here comes Randy Orton! Now the fans sing along with Voices as The Viper heads to the ring. Orton also high-fives fans before he joins Cody.
Orton grabs a mic, paces while the fans keep singing on their own, and then the fans cheer. Orton says he’s not really the sentimental type, but for Cody and for London, screw it. The fans chant “R K O! R K O!” and Orton tells Cody, “Look at you. Look at who you are now, the man you are now. Look at where he came from.” The fans cheer and sing “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” and Orton says he remembers a Cody in his early 20s, just breaking into the business. Cody was busting his ass harder than anyone else. He wasn’t exactly happy, and in fact, he was frustrated. But Cody was man enough, smart enough, to know he needed to grow, and that he couldn’t grow in the WWE.
Cody wasn’t exactly treated fairly in the WWE, so Cody left the WWE! That took some big ass balls to do what he did! Cody changed the business singlehandedly, and everyone in the back knows it. And Orton appreciates Cody for it. But then Cody came back, as they all knew one day he would. And the industry has been changed forever since the day Cody came back to the WWE. Cody is a bit teary eyed as Orton says Cody’s still the same guy, he just did what he set out to do, and he grew. Orton teases he would sing along with the fans, but the fans might leave. The fans again sing “CODY! CODY RHODES~!”
Orton asks if they remember when Cody Rhodes faced Seth Rollins in Hell in a Cell. The fans cheer because they do. Orton says that was impressive, and even impossible, as he started with a partially torn pec and then ended with a fully torn pec! His body changed all kinds of shades of purple that Orton’s never seen on a human body. The pain he must have been in. Cody persevered not just for himself. Maybe not even at all for Cody. It was not even for his family legacy; it was for each and every single fan out there! Then Cody went on to WrestleMania, beat Roman Reigns and finished the story!
But there’s always another story, isn’t there? And Cody’s right in the middle of one. Cody is in charge of his legacy, and it is a privilege for Orton to watch Cody take control of it. Ticket sales have been up, there’s more intrigue around the world, and listen to the people! It is 99.9% all because of Cody! The fans cheer that, and of course they sing. Orton says what he’s trying to say is a long-winded version of he respects Cody, loves him, and is very, very proud of him. The fans cheer that! Orton then says, “But… But now it is time for WrestleMania.” They both look to the sign, and Orton says he can guarantee Cody that Orton will kick Kevin Owens so hard in the head…!
Orton can just feel it already! He forgets how many days are left, but he can’t wait to remove Kevin’s head from his shoulders. And Orton knows Cody will enter champion, exit champion, but not before he beats the holy hell outta Cena all up and down the Vegas strip! But after all the smoke clears and the dust settles, just like Orton wants Number 17, there will come a time when Orton will want Number 15. But Orton won’t kick Cody in the balls like a coward. Orton will look Cody in the eye because he respects Cody, is proud of Cody, and sees him as an equal. Orton will look Cody in the eye and tell him that he’s coming for the title.
The fans cheer but wait! Drew McIntyre is here! The fans cheer the Scottish Terminator as he steps out on stage, mic in hand, and has a wry smile on his face as he looks at the ring. Drew waves as the fans now sing, “OH~ Drew McIntyre~!” Drew says, “Isn’t this wonderful? A couple of nepo babies having a love fest in the middle of the ring> It makes me absolutely sick. What’d you just say, Randy? if Cody gets through Cena at WrestleMania, you’re coming for that title? What exactly have you done since that big comeback to justify that title match? Aside be Randy Orton. The only big moment I can remember is you being on the shelf for months and months and months.
“People like to make jokes about it, but more people talk about my five-minute-45-second title reign than your entire comeback so far! So get to the back of the line, sunshine! As for you, Cody, you should’ve listened to me. But you shunned me. You attacked me. Everybody should’ve listened to me about John Cena, but they didn’t. And the next night, he kicked you right in the twig ‘n’ berries, proving me right as usual. And the main event of WrestleMania should be Cody Rhodes VS The UK’s only ever world champion, Drew McIntyre!” Fans do like that idea. But sadly, it’s not, because of that guyliner wearing Temu Undertaker, Damian Priest!
Drew wants to talk about what is happening. And what’s gonna happen! Drew steps up to the ring while fans sing for him again. Drew says it will not be Randy that takes the title from Cody, should he get through Cena; it’ll be McIntyre. The fans cheer, but Orton says they were trying to have a moment. Can Drew just cut the crap already? Drew says okay, sure. He’ll tell the truth, because that’s all he ever does. The truth is, Kevin might have a point! If those Voices are talking to Orton again, then they know Drew very, very well. And he’s thinking, “My God, Randy looks great! Absolutely jacked! On the outside.”
On the inside, that back is hanging by a thread. And if Orton provokes McIntyre, McIntyre will break him. And as for Cody- Cody kicks Drew and UPPERCUTS him! The fans fire up, and Orton R- NO, Drew gets away! The fans boo, but the battlelines are drawn! Even if Cody makes it out of the frying pan that is Las Vegas, it’ll be into the fire that is these contenders waiting in line! Will the American Nightmare be ready for whoever comes for the crown?
WWE Tag Team Championships: The Street Profits VS Pretty Deadly!
Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins are finally golden again, but it’s time to put the titles on the line already! And while they’re ready for the grind, they’re up against the hometown heroes! Will the Profits still be up in the O2? Or will Kit Wilson & Elton Prince say #YESBOY to a new reign of their own?
The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see who really wants the smoke!
The teams sort out and Kit starts with Dawkins. They tie up, Dawkins headlocks, but Kit powers up and out. Dawkins runs Kit over, the fans fire up, and Dawkins fires hands on Kit in the corner! The fans rally for Pretty Deadly, Dawkins whips Kit to a corner, but Elton takes that bump! Kit CLOBBERS Dawkins, then tags Elton! Atomic drop into DROPKICK! Ford runs up, but into a DOUBLE HIP TOSS! Dawkins whips, Elton reverses, and then Elton hurdles so Kit can DDT! The fans fire up with Pretty Deadly while the Profits bail out. Pretty Deadly has control while SmackDown goes picture in picture.
Elton is right on Dawkins as he gets in, and UPPERCUTS him to the corner. Elton clinches Dawkins for another UPPERCUT! Tag to Kit, and Elton RAMS into Dawkins so Kit can UPPERCUT! Dawkins flops over, Kit drags him up to wrench the arm. Kit whips, Dawkins reverses, but Kit grabs ropes. Kit ELBOWS Dawkins, DECKS Ford, but Dawkins CLOBBERS Kit! The ref reprimands but Dawkins RAMS Kit into the corner again and again! The ref counts, Dawkins fires fast hands, then he tags in Ford. Ford says, “SUCK IT!” then he KICKS Kit! Ford scuffs Kit, then drags him to a cover, TWO!
Ford keeps Kit down with a facelock, but Kit endures the grind. Kit fights up, fires body shots, but Ford whips him away. Kit sunset flips! Ford rolls through, and PENALTY KICKS! Ford mocks Elton with the Scott Hall fingers, and the ref has to keep Elton back. Ford drags Kit up, tags Dawkins, and the Profits mug Kit. Dawkins CLUBS Kit down, then stalks him. Dawkins stays between Kit and Elton, then whips Kit into the Profits’ corner. CYCLONE- NO, Kit dodges! Ford tags in, he keeps Kit from Elton now, but Kit slips out of the suplex! Kit fakes high to go low, hot tag to Elton! Elton rallies with LARIAT after LARIAT!
Elton kicks and whips Ford to a corner, then UPPERCUTS! Elton whips the other way, UPPERCUTS again, and then does it again! Elton adds to the hattrick with a lift, Ford says a quick prayer before the SUPLEX! Ford flounders, gets to his feet, but Elton dodges to springboard and FLYING UPPERCUT! Cover, TWO! Ford stays in this, but Elton stays on him. SmackDown returns to single picture and fans rally for Pretty Deadly as Elton gives Ford a back suplex. Ford lands out, waistlocks, but Elton switches and shoves Ford. Ford CLOBBERS Elton in return! Ford is also dazed but he covers, ONE!
Kit reaches out, Elton and Ford both crawl, hot tags to Kit and Dawkins! The fans fire up as Dawkins wrenches Kit, underhooks and SILENCER! Dawkins Electric Chair Lifts Kit, Ford climbs, but Kit slips free! Kit shoves Dawkins into Ford! Ford falls to the floor, but Dawkins ENZIGIRIS Kit! Elton tags in, and Kit LARIATS Dawkins! Pretty Deadly combine for DRY MARTI-KNEES! Cover, TWO!! Dawkins survives and the Profits are a bit unsure of what to do next. Dawkins crawls to a corner, Elton runs up, but Dawkins dodges! Elton hits buckles and Dawkins TOSSES Kit, then Dawkins hits a SKY HIGH on Elton!
Dawkins hurries to tag Ford and Ford climbs up! But Kit pushes Elton out of the way! Kit takes FROM THE HEAVESN, and Elton ghost pins Ford! TWO!! Ford escapes, and he ROCKS Elton! Elton UPPERCUTS Ford! Dawkins sneaks a tag, Ford SUPERKICKS! POUNCE SAIDO COMBO!! Cover, KIT BREAKS IT! The fans fire up while all four men are down! The teams go to opposite ends, then they all stand up in the corners. They all roar, all run in, and Kit SPEARS Ford while Elton FLYING UPPERCUTS Dawkins!! London is thunderous, and Kit hurries to tag in! Pretty Deadly gets Dawkins up, for SPILT MILK!! Cover, FORD BREAKS IT!
The fans are shocked, as is Elton, but Ford saves this for his team! “This is Awesome!” as Ford runs up and Elton TOSSES him out! Now DRY MARTI- NO! Dawkins doesn’t accept the second serving, and he DUMPS Kit out! Kit skins the cat while Dawkins DECKS Elton! Dawkins catches Kit to an Electric Chair! Ford rises, DOOMSDAY BLOCKBUSTER!! Cover, Profits win!
Winners: The Street Profits, by pinfall (still WWE Tag Team Champions)
Pretty Deadly put up a heroic fight, but the hometown heroes could not capture the gold. Dawkins & Ford hold onto the gold, will this be the strongest the Profits have ever been?
Kayden & Katana talk with Zelina Vega.
Carter & Chance know La Muneca got screwed over by The Green Administration. Chelsea thinks she’s untouchable, but someone’s gonna stop them eventually. Well, speaking of, Alba Fyre leads the way in as she & Piper Niven “scope the perimeter.” There’s one small threat. They frisk the “miniscule” threat, but nothing they haven’t dealt with before. Chelsea struts in and says, “The Eagle has landed~!” Zelina says she is so glad the “Bootleg Men in Black” have crashed the party. Now, yeah, they all know she’s small. But clearly this small “threat” is a big threat to Chelsea’s title reign. Otherwise, it wouldn’t have taken all three of them to beat her.
KC Squared agree with that. How about tonight, we see what happens when the odds are even? Chelsea says that’s fine, because Agents P & A are ready. The Secret Her-vice has been given their next mission, but will they be able to crash the party? Or will the party crash them?
Kayden Carter & Katana Chance VS The Secret Her-vice!
SmackDown returns and The Green Administration makes their entrance. The teams sort out, Alba starts against Katana, and the two tie up. Alba KNEES low, CLUBS Katana down, then fireman’s carries. Katana fights free, tags Kayden, and they KICK, double whip, and then trip Alba up for the basement DROPKICK! Katana adds a slingshot SENTON, Kayden covers, TWO! Kayden tags Katana, they double whip Alba to a corner, then Kayden runs in. Alba DUMPS Kayden out, ROCKS Katana, and she tags Piper! Katana arm-drags Alba out, then goes out to run up. Kayden gives her a boost, Katana CROSSBODIES Alba down!
The fans fire up, but Piper goes up and out?! CANNONBALL and down goes KC Squared! Piper salutes Chelsea and SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns, Kayden rallies on Alba while the fans rally up. Kayden fires up, runs in and whips, but Alba reverses. Kayden wheelbarrows, victory rolls, then SUPERKICKS! Kayden fires up again but the fans are torn. Kayden runs in at Alba to BOOT WASH her against the ropes! Chelsea protests, Kayden kicks at her, then Kayden springboards for a LEG DROP! Cover, TWO! Alba survives, Kayden whips, but Alba KICKS back! Tag to Piper, but Kayden jackknife bridges Alba! The ref explains bout the tag, Piper runs up, but Kayden moves! The SENTON hits Alba! Piper panics, Kayden tags Katana!
Katana goes up onto Kayden’s shoulders, VICTORY ROLL LAUNCHER, but Piper catches Katana! Katana fires hands, BOOTS, and then hurries to go up again. Kayden ROCKS Piper, and fireman’s carries?! SAMOAN DROP! Kayden then gives Katana the boost, for the KEG STAND SPLASH!! Cover, ALBA BREAKS IT! Kayden runs up on Alba to BOOT her out! Katana gives Kayden the boost now, SUPER CROSSBODY onto Alba! Kayden hurries to tag back in, and she brings Piper up. Piper swings, Kayden dodges and SUPERKICKS! Katana goes up, Piper staggers over that way, but Chelsea distracts the ref!
The fans are torn as Alba grabs Katana. Katana kicks Alba down, chases Chelsea off, but Piper sends Kayden into her! Piper scoops to PIPER DRIVER!! Cover, Secret Her-vice wins!
Winner: The Secret Her-vice, by pinfall
The Women’s US Champion helps her team, and now they all mug Kayden & Katana! But here comes Zelina! Vega runs down the ramp, CLOBBERS Alba, and then she gets in the ring! Zelina tilt-o-whirl DDTS Piper! And she KNEES Alba off the apron! But Chelsea CLOBBERS Zelina! Chelsea fires up, the UK is oddly with her, and she chicken wings Zeina. But Zelina fights free to fire forearms and body shots! And a BACK ELBOW! Zelina reels Chelsea in, CODE- SUPERKICK from Alba! SENTON from Piper! The Green Administration is just too much for Zelina to fight against alone! But can she, Kayden & Katana find a way to turn things around?
WWE United States Championship: LA Knight VS Braun Strowman!
Did the Mega Star just get this title back from Shinsuke Nakamura? YEAH! Did he help the Monster of All Monsters fight off Solo Sikoa’s rouge bloodline? YEAH! And now, does he have to defend this title against the monster he just helped? YEAH!! But will Knight still reign this close to WrestleMania? Or will Braun #GetTheseHands back on a championship?
The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and it’s time for Knight’s biggest challenge, YEAH!
The bell rings and the fans rally up as the two circle. The two tie up, and Braun SHOVES Knight away. Knight comes back, Braun SHOVES him down again! Knight gets up, gets around, and he headlocks. Braun powers up to back suplex, but Knight lands out! Knight tries but Braun’s too big to suplex! Braun ELBOWS Knight, storms up on him, but Knight fires haymakers! Knight whips, Braun reverses, but Knight KICKS back! Knight runs, but Braun HIP TOSSES! Cover, TWO! Knight stays in this, but Braun brings him up. Braun puts Knight in a corner, CHOPS, then runs, for a SPLASH! Knight sputters along ropes, Braun keeps moving, but Knight DUMPS him out!
The fans fire up as Knight then WRECKS Braun with a dropkick! Knight keeps moving, and he WRECKS Braun again! The fans fire up with Knight, but then Braun BOOTS Knight down! The fans are torn but Braun stands tall as SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns and Braun puts Knight back in the ring. The fans cheer as Knight KICKS Braun! Knight tries again, but Braun’s still too big to back suplex! Braun CLUBS Knight, then runs in at the corner. Knight BOOTS Braun, goes up, and FLYING BULLDOGS! Both men are down and the fans fire up! Knight and Braun rise back up, and Knight dodges a shot to JAB! Then he dodges to JAB! JAB! JAB! “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” But Braun KNEES low! Braun scoops, Knight slips free, and Knight RAMS Braun into buckles! Then the BACK SUPLEX! The fans fire up and Knight rises again! Knight spells it out, “L! A! KNIGHT! YEAH!” ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO!
Braun has plenty left in the tank but the fans rally for Knight. Knight stands Braun up to kick low, but Braun THROWS Knight away! Knight rises, and Braun LARIATS Knight up and out! The fans fire up as Braun rips the shirt! Braun gets on the track, and he runs in, STROWMAN EXPRESS MEETS JACOB FATU!! The Samoan Werewolf strikes Braun down!
Winner: Braun Strowman, by disqualification; LA Knight retains the title
The fans boo as Jacob now goes after Knight! He just ruined what was becoming a great match, but Jacob fires HEADBUTT after HEADBUTT on Braun! SAMOAN DROP onto the desk!! The desk doesn’t budge, but Braun might’ve been broken in half! The UK fires up for Fatu as he puts Braun in the ring! Jacob fires more HEADBUTTS, then HEADBUTTS away on Braun in the corner! The fans sing “OLE~ OLE OLE OLE, FATU~, FATU~!” Jacob runs corner to corner, but Knight kicks him first! Knight fires haymakers, “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” Jacob denies the BFT to POP-UP SAMOAN DROP! And then HIP ATTACK for Braun anyway!
Jacob keeps going, HIP ATTACK for Braun again! Jacob throws off his jacket, glares at Braun, and he runs in for a third HIP ATTACK! Braun flounders into the drop zone, so Jacob goes up, up, BEST MOONSAULT EVER! Direct hit on Braun, but the fans want that “ONE MORE TIME!” Jacob obliges, BEST MOONSAULT EVER! The Samoan Werewolf just tore up #OneBigSOB and LA Knight, will there be no stopping him from taking the United States Championship?
Backstage interview with Jimmy Uso.
Jackie Redmond is with #BigJim, and she says that while she knew WWE was going global this month, she did not know they’d get the slap heard ’round the world! Jimmy says he’d do it again, and he’ll slap Gunther as many times as he needs! Jimmy knows Jey is up in his own head, doubt is creeping on him. But just because Jey’s 0-3 against Gunther doesn’t mean Gunther’s unbeatable! The Ring General CAN be got! Jimmy’s going to Raw this Monday, he will bust Gunther’s ass, Jey will go to Mania and bust Gunther’s ass to become the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. And then they leave Las Vegas just like this: YEET!
Jimmy heads out, but then The Miz & Carmelo Hayes walk by. Miz is mocking Jimmy’s words, and he asks excuse me. Miz says it’s just funny that suddenly, Jimmy is a tough guy, even though for most of his career, he’s been “The Other Uso.” Doesn’t Jimmy get it? Jimmy and Jey are career sidekicks while Gunther is a main character. Gunther is the lead, neither Jimmy nor Jey can beat him. And here’s another thing: The Usos are just blips on the trailer that was Roman Reigns’ Bloodline. Melo says Jimmy & Jey are stuck outside the club, they can’t even get in.
Miz says as a former WWE Champion, a former WrestleMania main eventer, Jimmy will never know what it is to carry this industry. And after this year’s WrestleMania, neither will Jey. Oh, and by the way, if Jimmy ever slapped Miz like that, Jimmy would still be on the ground. Jimmy feints the slap and Miz freaks out. Jimmy says it may be him and Gunther on Monday, but he’ll holler at Aldis real quick so it can be Jimmy VS Miz here tonight. Yeah, YEET! Jimmy heads out, Melo says he thought Miz was gonna do something about the slap. Will Miz have to do something about running his mouth before he gets his teeth kicked in?
Solo Sikoa & Tama Tonga find Jacob Fatu backstage.
Solo asks Jacob what the Hell he was doing out there. Jacob goes out there alone without saying a thing to them? Jacob says he ain’t gotta say nothing to nobody! Matter fact, didn’t Solo not tap in with him last week? Tama says, “But Jacob,” only for Jacob to say, “But nothing, Tama!” Solo wants Jacob to lower his tone, but Jacob says okay. Let him be very clear with them. When it comes to Braun Strowman, Jacob WILL be the last man standing. Y’all better get in where you fit in, cuz that US title? Oh, Jacob’s bringing it home to the family. And he will do it with them, or without them! Yadada mean? Fatu heads out, is the Samoan Werewolf no longer following Solo?
Naomi speaks.
“I mean… How did we even get here? I don’t know. One thing that I do know is that I’ve always been the woman to do the right thing. I’ve always been the woman to do the right thing. So Bianca, what makes you think that my attack on Jade was anything different from me doing the right thing? When I sit here and I think about all that I’ve sacrificed, all that I’ve given, and that’s what really breaks my heart. Because through all of that, I’m made to be the bad one in this situation. I just don’t understand, how does Jade come in outta nowhere and take my place with you? I want you to ask yourself this, Bianca. Who inspired you? Hmm?
“Who’s inspired women over the last decade? Who’s always had your back from day one of you being here? Me. Not Jade. Hmm. But you know what? What I’ve learned through all of this: You teach people how to treat you. And I’m done with being treated as a third wheel. I’m done being pushed to the side, I’m done with being too nice, I’m done with being undervalued, underutilized, underappreciated! So moving forward, hmm… Moving forward, here’s my message to you, Jade. If you continue to be in my way, I strongly advise you to proceed with caution.” The Glow shows her dark side, but will the storm be moved?
Nick Aldis meets with Jade Cargill.
Speaking of, the SmackDown General Manager understands things have been rather difficult for her as of late. Jade says she’s been trying to get her hands on Naomi for the past few weeks, now where is she? No one has seen her all day, so as far as anyone knows, Naomi’s not here. Well, when Jade catches Naomi, it’s on sight. Jade leaves, B-Fab & Michin are there. They let her know that what Naomi did to her was straight trash, totally uncalled for behavior. And after Jade gets her hands on Naomi, she’ll handle that business. Jade agrees. Mia says they’ve all got business to handle. Jade’s got Naomi, and Mia’s gonna get Charlotte for messing with her girl, B.
B-Fab says Naomi’s got what’s coming to her: no sympathy, no regrets. Jade, just do what you gotta do. Oh, she will. Jade also wishes Mia luck tonight. Mia & B-Fab head out, will the Head Baddie in Charge make the Queen bow down in London?
The darkness approaches.
“You are as I was. As I am, you will be.” The shadows are starting to take shape, but is SmackDown about to fade to black?
Charlotte Flair VS Mia Yim w/ B-Fab!
The Queen looks down on everyone, so it’s no surprise that everyone else wants to take her down. Charlotte may have checked off B-Fab, but will the HBIC be a much different story? Or will Charlotte only sharpen her edge before facing Tiffany Stratton at WrestleMania?
WAIT! NAOMI ATTACKS B-FAB & MICHIN! Naomi drags Mia up for a FACEBUSTER! Naomi rains down fists, the ref reprimands and the fans boo, but Naomi tells the ref to back off. Naomi then BOOTS B-Fab off the apron! Naomi goes out after B-Fab to THRWO her into barriers! Naomi SLAPS B-Fab, tells her to stay down, but B-Fab gets up. Naomi fires hands, then she SMACKS B-Fab off the desk! Naomi rains down fists, but here comes Jade! Jade hurries down the ramp, she runs around the way, but Naomi runs away! Jade makes sure B-Fab is okay, but refs have to help her to the back. And what of Mia? Will she even be able to compete?
Charlotte makes her entrance, not really caring about what Naomi just did to Mia. But that means she also crosses paths with Jade. The fans like the look of this stare down, but Jade and Charlotte both let the other slide. Charlotte gets her pyro, and it seems she’ll still get her match. Will Mia be little more than an appetizer now?
The bell rings, and Charlotte BOOTS Mia down! Cover, TWO! Mia stays in this and the fans rally up. Charlotte just struts around while SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns, Charlotte has Mia down with a chinlock, but the fans rally up. Mia fights up, fires body shots, and she then blocks a shot to ROCK Charlotte! Mia ROCKS Charlotte again and again, then reels her in for a TORNADO DDT! The fans fire up as Mia hurries to cover, TWO! Mia drags Charlotte up, wrenches, but Charlotte says no to Da Feet! BIG back suplex! Mia stagger sup, Charlotte whips her, but Mia reverses! Charlotte goes up and out, BOOTS her away, then slingshots in and rolls Mia! Mia rolls through and BUZZSAWS! Mia runs corner to corner, but Charlotte avoids the cannonball!
Charlotte YAKUZA KICKS Mia down, then fires herself up! The fans “WOO~!” as Charlotte has Mia in the drop zone,. Charlotte steps on her, goes up the corner, but Mia gets underneath her! SIT-OUT POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! Charlotte survives and Mia is shocked! Mia nods as the fans rally back up, and she brings Charlotte up. But Charlotte ROCKS Mia! Mia SOBATS, PELES, and then runs to PENALTY KICK! Cover, TWO! Charlotte stays in this, Mia grows frustrated, but the fans continue to rally. Mia uses that energy to stay focused, and she stalks Charlotte to waistlock. But Charlotte ELBOWS her away!
Charlotte CHOPS, and CHOPS, and CHOSP! Charlotte winds up, and she CHOPS again! Mia sputters, but then she dodges the boot! Charlotte is caught, and Mia hits a SAIDO! Charlotte flounders to a corner, the fans rally behind Mia, and Mia runs up, CANNONBALL! Mia hurries to wrench and EAT- NO, Charlotte shoves Mia away! Charlotte gets under, back suplexes, but Mia lands out! EAT DA FEET!! Cover, ROPEBREAK!! Charlotte’s long legs help her survive by a literal foot! Mia is beside herself while Charlotte bails out. Mia storms after Charlotte, runs up, but Charlotte dodges! Mia’s kick hits steel steps!
Mia hobbles away, goes to the apron, but Charlotte CHOP BLOCKS the bad leg out! Charlotte grabs Mia’s leg, drops a KNEE on the knee, but fans chant, “We Want Tiffy!” Charlotte just steps through, FIGURE FOUR, into FIGURE EIGHT!! Mia taps, Charlotte wins!
Winner: Charlotte Flair, by submission
Charlotte got more of a fight out of Mia than expected, but she still won. Will The Queen be more than ready to reign again after WrestleMania?
Backstage interview with Tiffany Stratton.
Jackie Redmond is with the WWE Women’s Champion and says Charlotte certainly looks confident. Let’s be real, Charlotte came at Tiff pretty hard. It got a lot of people talking. Tiff says yes, people talk. And Charlotte sure loves to hear herself talk. Ten years into the business and Charlotte is still so insecure that she can’t let a “rookie” get a word out. But last week, Tiff did learn something: She learned that walking into WrestleMania, she isn’t the one with something to lose. Truth is, if Tiff loses, then she lost to the great Charlotte Flair, as just a 25-year-old rookie with one year into SmackDown.
But if Charlotte loses… Well, then she lost to an “undeserving, delusional, unoriginal, backflip doing, blonde-hair-having, little girl.” Did she get it all? And Tiff can’t wait to hear the look on Charlotte’s face when they hear the words, “And STILL!” Then maybe Charlotte will finally shut up for the sake of literally everyone! They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, and Tiff will make damn sure what stays is Charlotte’s massive ego. Tiff is walking into and out of Mania as the WWE Women’s Champion. Tootles! Tiff heads out, will it still be #TiffyTime after WrestleMania?
Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre!
The Viper told Cody how proud he was, but also how he wants the next shot after John Cena. The Scottish Terminator took offense to that, and basically said he is taking that shot instead. Will this match be an unofficial #1 contender’s match between these two former world champions?
SmackDown returns and McIntyre makes his entrance. The bell rings and the fans sing, “OH~, Drew McIntyre~!” and chant “R K O! R K O!” Drew and Orton circle, tie up, and they go around in a deadlock. Drew powers Orton to a corner, but Orton headlocks back. Drew powers up and out, then he runs Orton over! Orton hurries to ropes and Drew mockingly asks, “How’s the back feel, Randy?” Orton stands, he and Drew reset, and the fans duel some more. Drew calls for a knuckle lock, Orton accepts, but then Drew kicks low! Drew bumps Orton off buckles, then climbs up, but he panders for too long and Orton YANKS him down!
The fans fire up as Orton climbs now! Orton rains down fists, and the fans count to nine. Orton hops down, brings Drew around, and POSTS him for ten! Drew tumbles out of the ring, Orton goes out after him, and they’re by the desk! But Drew kicks Orton first and SMACKS him off the desk! Drew clears the desk, and he brings Orton up for the DESK- NO, Orton fights free! Orton turns things around, DESK BACK SUPLEX for Drew! The fans fire up while Orton leaves Drew behind, and SmackDown goes picture in picture.
Drew writhes on the floor, but Orton goes out to fetch him! Orton brings Drew around, UPPERCUTS him, then says one more time! DESK BACK SUPLEX! Drew writhes as that desk stays standing! Orton grins, refreshes the ring count, and then he storms up on Drew. Drew pokes Orton in the eye! Drew POSTS Orton now, then brings him around to RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP into barriers! Orton slumps down, and Drew also grits his teeth from that double-edged attack, but Drew fires up as he stands tall. Drew drags Orton up, puts him in the ring, then stalks Orton. Drew looms over Orton, and HIP DROPS him!
Orton sputters, Drew says one more time, and he winds up for the HIP DROP! Drew paces around Orton, says maybe one more time, and he pretends he can’t hear the fans. Drew winds up again, but Orton flips over! Hip drop meets kneecaps! And then Orton pokes Drew in the eyes! The ref reprimands but Orton rises up. Drew sputters and flounders, Orton ROCKS him with a right! Drew ROCKS Orton back! Drew storms up, Orton kicks low, but Drew fires another haymaker! The haymakers go back and forth, Orton gets the edge, but Drew GLASGOW KISS HEADBUTTS! Cover, TWO! Drew clamps onto Orton with an armlock!
SmackDown returns to single picture and the fans rally up. Orton fights up, pries at the chinbar, and then throws right hands! Drew CHOPS Orton in return! The fans “WOO~” and Drew winds up. Drew ROCKS Orton again, eggs him on, then CHOPS again! Drew shoves Orton to a corner, CHOPS again, then dares Orton to fight! Drew whips corner to corner, but Orton comes back to LARIAT! And LARIAT! Drew swings, Orton dodges, SNAP POWERSLAM! The fans fire up as Orton stalks Drew to the apron. Drew HOTSHOTS Orton first! Drew then runs in, but Orton puts him through the ropes!
The fans fire up as Orton has Drew for the DRAPING DDT! The fans fire up for Orton, and Orton hears those voices! Drew rises, but then Orton spots KEVIN OWENS! The Prizefighter is on the ramp, Orton glares at him, but then he turns around into a CLAYMORE!! Cover, DREW WINS!
Winner: Drew McIntyre, by pinfall
Kevin’s mere presence costs Orton, and now Drew has a huge win propelling him down the Road to WrestleMania! As for Orton, Kevin drags him out of the ring, SMACKS him off the desk, and then climbs up to join him! The fans boo but Kevin and his hot pink sneakers have Orton in position, but Orton slips free and TRIPS Kevin up! Kevin hits the desk then the floor! Orton staggers around, the fans rally behind him, and Orton stalks Kevin to the corner of the barriers. Orton lines up the shot! Orton runs in, but Kevin jumps over barriers! Security is there to stop Orton from pursuing, so Kevin runs away into the night!
The fans boo, but The Viper was that close! Will Orton be able to strike Kevin down and completely take him out?
Fire, thunder, smoke…
The force of nature is drawing ever closer. And he’s ready to fly! REY FENIX arrives next Friday Night SmackDown!
Jimmy Uso VS The Miz!
#BigJim gave Gunther a piece of his mind and a mark on his cheek, but it seems not everyone got the message. Will the Hollywood A-lister soon star in the Uso Penitentiary? Or will he prove Jimmy is NOT ready for a world champion level opponent?
The bell rings and the two tie up. Jimmy powers Miz to a corner, Miz turns things around, and the ref counts. Miz takes a swing, Jimmy ducks it to CHOP! And CHOP! Miz shoves Jimmy back, then runs up, but Jimmy TACKLES Miz! Jimmy rains down fists, Miz shoves him away to go to ropes, but Jimmy storms back up. Miz ELBOWS Jimmy away, then runs back up, only for Jimmy to LARIAT him down! The fans fire up while Jimmy storms up on Miz. Jimmy CHOPS Miz, has him in a corner, then whips corner to corner. Miz reverses, Jimmy goes up and over, then UPPERCUTS! Miz staggers back to ropes, but Jimmy is right on him.
Jimmy whips, Miz reverses and kitchen sink knees! Then basement BOOTS! The fans fire up, Miz scowls, and Miz KNEES Jimmy in the back again and again. Miz stalks Jimmy to the ropes now, and he CHOKES Jimmy! The ref counts, Miz runs, and Miz STRADDLE ATTACKS! The fans boo, but Miz runs again. Jimmy ducks the boot, then dodges a lariat! Jimmy runs up to LARIAT Miz up and out! The fans fire up and Jimmy builds speed, but Miz runs away! Jimmy smirks as he goes out the side, and UPPERCUTS Miz over the barriers! Jimmy makes sure Gunther knows he’s coming to get him, but SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns and both men are down. Miz and Jimmy crawl, and Jimmy pounds the mat. The fans rally, Jimmy rises and runs up to LARIAT! And LARIAT! And mule kick! Jimmy then UPPERCUTS Miz, dodges a lariat, then SAMOAN DROPS! The fans fire up, Jimmy goes to the corner, “UCE! OH!” Jimmy runs in, but Miz puts him on the apron! Jimmy UPPERCUTS again! Jimmy climbs, leaps, but Miz gets under! Miz then waistlocks, ripcords, and MOVIE MAKER! Fans boo that blatant parody, but Miz full nelsons! Jimmy drops, victory rolls, TWO! Miz has the cover, TWO! Miz hurries to BASEMENT DDT! Cover, TWO!
The fans rally up as Jimmy survives! Miz stalks Jimmy, the fans rally up more, and Miz fires a KICK! And then another KICK! The fans say “YES! YES! YES!” to the It Kicks, but then Miz winds up. Jimmy ducks the buzzsaw, Miz blocks the superkick, but the DRAGON WHIP connects! Miz rebounds to B-MOVIE KNEE!! Cover, TWO!! The parodies don’t get it done, but Miz still has his original work to fall back on. The fans rally for “UCE! OH! UCE! OH!” Miz runs in, A-LIST LARIAT! Miz shoves Jimmy down, then springboards, but into a SUPERKICK! Jimmy hurries up top, for the USO SPLASH!! Cover, Jimmy wins!
Winner: Jimmy Uso, by pinfall
Miz may be a movie star, but Big Jim’s the one winning this main event! Jimmy then borrows Joe Tessitore’s headset to call out Gunther! He’s coming after dat ass on Monday! Gunther won’t be the ring general, he will be “Private Gunther,” and he will salute Big Jim! Uh, uh, YEET! Will Jimmy be the one making examples out of the World Heavyweight Champion? Or will everything come crashing down when Gunther gets his turn?
Drew McIntyre returns backstage.
And he says hey to Lewis Capaldi, the Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter, and also a big fan of Drew’s. They’re ready to have a good night in the pub, but Jackie Redmond walks over to congratulate him on the win tonight. She was hoping to get some thoughts on that victory and what happened with Orton and Kevin. Drew says it’s alright, this is what happens. He doesn’t care about anybody else’s business, but no one gets away with screwing him over. And when no one meddles in his business, he wins! Drew called out Priest, where is he? Priest doesn’t have the balls! So time to get mad in the pubs, everyone’s invited!
Drew turns the corner, but PRIEST IS THERE! Priest ROCKS Drew, SMACKS him off the door, then throws him into road cases! Priest ROCKS Drew, SMACKS him off the trunk of a car, and then again! Or since it’s London, “the boot.” The driver complains, but Priest BODY SLAMS that guy through a table! Drew comes back to KNEE Priest low, SMACK him off the trunk, and then off the side! They go to the hood, or bonnet for UK. Drew drags Priest up, but Priest CLAWS Drew’s eyes! Priest then sends Drew SOUTH OF HEAVEN through the windshield! Priest tells security that he’s done for now. Any more jokes, Drew? Didn’t think so! RIP, jackass!
Priest leaves, the producers hurry to help Drew, and Drew’s got glass in his eye! Will that glass help Drew see why he shouldn’t piss off the Punisher?
CM Punk heads to gorilla.
He has a security detail with him, and he passes by Drew writhing in pain. Punk chuckles, then continues on. Will his contract signing with Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins be just as brutal? We find out, after the break.
Nick Aldis is in the ring.
The SmackDown General Manager welcomes us back, and says it is his honor and privilege to be here in the O2 in London. Now, we all know why he and this table is here, and why additional security is here tonight. Tonight, we are here to sign a contract for a Triple Threat. Perhaps the biggest Triple Threat in the history of WrestleMania: Seth Rollins VS CM Punk VS Roman Reigns! The fans cheer all those names, and here comes the OTC! London puts the ones up, and Paul Heyman accompanies THE Tribal Chief out on stage. Roman raises his finger to the sky for the pyro, then security follows him to the ring.
SmackDown goes picture in picture as Roman’s entrance continues, and he raises his finger to the sky for the second round of pyro. Roman steps into the ring, SmackDown returns to single picture, and Heyman hands him a mic. The fans sing, “ROMAN! ROMAN REIGNS~!” Roman nods, the fans cheer, and now they chant, “O T C! O T C!” Roman tells London, “ACKNOWLEDGE ME!” The fans cheer again, and again chant, “O T C! O T C!” Roman smiles, but he sees the chairs are not to his liking. Heyman makes sure to put one at the head of the table. Heyman also dusts the chair off while Roman enjoys the singing of, “ROMAN! ROMAN REIGNS~!”
Roman takes a seat and says that was beautiful. The way they sing to their Tribal Chief, it’s just beautiful. The singing continues, and Heyman even joins in! Roman smiles, and he says that is what he’s talking about. That’s the OTC for you, baby! The biggest star on the planet! The OTC came here for two reasons. One: to be acknowledged; check! And two: to sign this contract. Roman does just that, and he says he’s checked both boxes. That means- “BURN IT DOWN!” Seth Rollins interrupts! The fans now sing, “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~!” Rollins struts out in his red wine paisley suit and conducts the O2 Choir all the way into the ring.
The fans cheer while Roman frowns, but Rollins takes the seat to Roman’s left. Rollins offers Heyman a chance to sing to this song, but Heyman frowns. Rollins chuckles, and he says the fans do have beautiful singing voices. He doesn’t know why Roman is in such a hurry to leave, though! This is their building! There’s a lot of history here! 12 years ago, they landed on the roof of this place in a helicopter! They came down those stairs over there, “ready to burn down the old guard!” They put the Undertaker down through the desk, and they were going to remake this company in their image!
Now don’t get him wrong, Rollins knows a lot has happened since then. They fought against each other, with each other, a little bit of love and a whole lot of hate. But Rollins dare says, as the fans continue to sing “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~,” that Rollins and Roman accomplished their mission. The fans start to chant for CM Punk, but Rollins tunes them out. Roman says, “We? We? You keep saying we. Our mission? We died a long time ago. It’s only been ME. You been here, but I done all the work! I’ve made this place what it is today! I took us to the level that we are here today! I made this place better than we found it!
“I’m the one that made us desirable to Netflix! I’m the one that took us into billion-dollar deals! Tell me, what have you done?” Rollins shouts, “I’ll tell you what I’ve done! YOU, YOU, YOU, it’s that mindset that keeps me having to screw you! You understand that? And your biggest mistake is not understanding the danger that’s right in front of us! The danger that’s right in front of you! You let the biggest snake in the world, CM Punk, into the garden! And you could’ve cut his head off at WarGames! But instead, you shook his hand. You could’ve let me finish him inside the cage at The Garden, but you didn’t. And now, I am left to do what I always do: Clean up your mess, again.”
Rollins drops his mic, picks up the pen, and signs his part. And now, here comes CM PUNK! The fans fire up and sing along with Cult of Personality, then join in on saying, “IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME~!” Punk goes to the ring, but as he grabs a mic, he goes up a corner, just like he did last Friday. “I have come here to chew bubblegum and sign a contract. And I’m all outta bubblegum.” The fans cheer the Rowdy Roddy Piper reference, and Punk hops down to take his seat on Roman’s right. Punk looks over said contract, but Roman asks if Punk needs a highlighter or something. What’s he doing? Just go to page four, clause five.
Punk does as Roman says, but Roman says Punk needs to hurry, this is precious TV time. Punk reads the segment, Roman tells Heyman to just smarten Punk up. Heyman tells Punk he knows what Punk is looking for. It is in there. They’re closing the show at WrestleMania. The fans go wild hearing that! Heyman tells Punk that he gets to live his dream of dreams. CM Punk will be a WrestleMania main eventer! The fans cheer and while Roman smiles, Rollins is furious. Roman says, “One man’s dream is another man’s favor! CHECK!” Wait, this was the favor? Rollins says no! This is not something to laugh at, and Punk does not get to tear up!
Punk is NOT deserving! He does NOT deserve this! The fans boo but Rollins continues to throw a fit! Main eventing WrestleMania is SACRED, the most important thing in the world to Rollins! More than anything! Except the fact that Punk NEVER gets to main event! This is all Roman’s fault! This is all Heyman’s fault! Rollins THROWS his mic down, paces angrily, but Punk picks up the mic. The fans cheer Punk on again, and Punk stands to thank London, to thank Chicago, to thank Louisville, Kentucky, and to thank ALL the fans. As corny as it sounds, he thanks the WWE Universe who stood by him and chanted his name for TEN LONG YEARS!
Roman says hold on, hold on. Punk shouldn’t be thanking the fans! He should be thanking the Tribal Chief! It is because of Roman that Punk gets this honor! So please, take this moment, close the show with that acknowledgement! Do this the right way. The credits are already rolling as Punk kneels before Roman!? Punk smiles, and he thanks “My Tribal Chief, the holder of the ula fala, the Head of the Table, the… Big Dog? Thank you for allowing a kid from Chicago to be graced by your presence. Thank you, My Tribal Chief, for allowing me to stand in your ring. And thank you so much. Thank you, Roman Reigns, so very much.
“But because of you, I will see you in the main event of WrestleMania.” And again, Rollins is agonizing over this. Punk finishes putting his signature on the contract, and London tells him, “You Deserve It!” Punk thanks Roman again, and then says, “But that’s not the favor that I’m owed.” WHAT?! Roman looks at Heyman and Heyman can’t look him in the eye! If getting this Triple Threat made into the main event isn’t the gift of the Wise Man, then what is?!
My Thoughts:
A good SmackDown, but they pulled off quite the paradox. They made it feel like they were struggling to fill three hours, yet they also filled the show to the point where that contract signing segment was almost bleeding over the three hour mark. Ironically, part of the problem was just how excited the London crowd was for this. The superstars still wanted to enjoy the chants and songs, but that’s time SmackDown doesn’t have to spare. It made the opening promo from Cody, Orton and Drew take longer, and it kinda did the same to the contract signing at the end. Even so, we still got a very good promo, and good stuff to set up Orton VS McIntyre.
Orton VS McIntyre was a great match, but of course Kevin costs Orton. McIntyre gets his win, Kevin and Orton have a bit of a brawl, but of course Kevin ends up on the losing end and runs off. McIntyre’s trash talk also comes back to bite him as Priest gets the better of him in their brawl. Here’s hoping Drew didn’t actually get glass in his eye, but that being the thing in kayfabe can be some good stuff. I can imagine McIntyre with an eyepatch, and he takes it off at the opportune time to get the better of Priest in their match. Also what a fitting choice for Punk to be passing by Drew suffering because of real glass.
Very good title matches tonight, but of course the status quo was kept. Pretty Deadly gets to look great here in London, but the Profits only just got the belts, they’re not going to be transitional champions like that. And Knight VS Braun was really good stuff, but honestly, Jacob Fatu going after them both should’ve been a given. Jacob also had a great promo with Solo & Tama to start adding to that divide between Jacob and Solo. I would hope Solo doesn’t screw Jacob out of the US Championship, but it feels like he will as Solo won’t stand for Jacob defying his authority, even though Solo’s been trying to make Jacob the champion all along.
Very good stuff from Jimmy Uso tonight, from his promo with #MeloDon’tMiz and then a great match with Miz. Their match ended up the de facto main event match, so that’s also great for both guys. Great win for Jimmy, but that’s likely because Jimmy is losing big time to Gunther on Monday. And it might just be me, but it feels like only now is the Jey VS Gunther build really moving, largely in part because Jimmy got involved. Jimmy’s promo after his match is something along the lines of what Jey should be saying. But I suppose as brothers, Jimmy is the one who knows Jey best and knows what Jey needs to be motivated again. And seeing Jimmy get beat up by Gunther will definitely motivate Jey…
Good final vignettes for Rey Fenix and Aleister Black. I’m a little surprised they confirmed Rey Fenix is showing up next week, and that they confirmed who Rey Fenix even is. I believe commentary confirmed Rey Fenix is Penta’s real brother, even namedropped “Lucha Brothers,” but all that is still surprising considering Fenix is going to start on SmackDown. Aleister’s vignette (at least I am fairly confident it’s his) was giving us glimpses of his silhouette, but I think there was usage of AI in the snake imagery. It was fine they did it for El Grande Americano because that is all trolling, but they really should try and do things the old fashioned way of photoshop and stock imagery.
Very good stuff in the Women’s Division tonight, though the WWE Women’s Championship portion was the weaker. Naomi’s got a great Heel persona going, her promo was great, and her going after B-Fab & Michin over them supporting Jade was a great detail. Jade runs Naomi off, helps B-Fab, but there was no helping Michin in being fed to Charlotte. Tiffany had a decent promo, and it does fit how Charlotte kept her from speaking so she finally gets things out here. It didn’t really add that much, though, but they already gave us a great brawl so not sure what more they can give.
KC Squared VS The Secret Her-vice was a very good match, but of course Chelsea made sure her team won. A Six Woman Tag of Zelina & KC Squared VS The Green Administration is certainly coming, to help give us Zelina VS Chelsea for the Women’s US Championship.
My Score: 8.7/10
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Coverage
Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 3.27.2025
Bad news out of the TNA management side, but this is a taped episode from El Paso! So we won’t see any of the fallout just yet!
Now we all heard the news about the TNA change in hierarchy, and I…have no positive outlook on that. Delirious sucked at booking and creative in the dying days of ROH before it got bought as a B show. Dreamer having even more control is concerning because his ideas the last two years haven’t been much better.
Gail leaving makes more sense to me. Be it firing or a “you can’t quit, you’re fired” kind of situation, the Knockouts division is the worst it’s been in a long time and Gail was close with Scott D’Amore. So I don’t think Gail parting ways is as big of a problem since TNA has slowly been bleeding out with the Scott faithful.
Granted, I think the next few shows were already taped before the firing so things shouldn’t be completely unwatchable for at least a week or two. So let’s see where we’re going.
.@WeAreRosemary sends @XiaBrookside a CHILLING message!
WATCH #TNAiMPACT on TNA+: https://t.co/LaVxF6l2yc pic.twitter.com/srciTTbel0
— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) March 28, 2025
Ratings:
- Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley vs Elegance Clique w/Personal Concierge: Ash wins via Rarefied Air – ** 1/4
- Fir$t Cla$$ & Frankie Kazarian vs Laredo Kid, Octagon Jr & Chavo Guerrero Jr: Chavo wins via Gory Bomb into Frog Splash – *** 1/4
- Jacy Jayne vs Masha Slamovich: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – ***
- Eric Young w/two losers vs Ace Austin: Eric wins via Piledriver – ** 1/2
- Seto & Mokuba – I mean – Nic Nemeth w/Ryan Nemeth vs Leon Slater: Nic wins via Danger Zone – *** 1/4
Results:
Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley vs Elegance Clique w/Personal Concierge
Ash and Gigi start off, Gigi with a little Rascalz after her first takedown. So both her and Wentz are making it obvious something’s going on between them, and I’m not mad at it. Good for my man Wentz.
Tatum and Gigi get some quick tandem offense in, Ash does manage to scurry off to a tag and Heather gets bent into a Pretzel. Some kind of Inverted Tarantula from Tatum, Gigi tags in, Bronco Buster on Heather followed by Kawada Kicks. Heather sells against the ropes, Gigi goes for a Hesitation Dropkick, but Concierge pulls her away so Gigi crashes and burns. Ref is distracted, Ash gets in some cheap shots and then the Elegant duo starts working over Gigi. A few quick tags, but once Heather comes in, Gigi fights out of the corner, gets the hot tag to Tatum. Tatum stacks up both Elegance members, Corner Stacked Crossbody, Butterfly Suplex and an Elbow Drop with some some flare. Tatum goes to the top rope, Heather pulls Gigi off the apron, Concierge shoves Tatum off the turnbuckle and Ash hits Rarefied Air for the win.
Post match the Elegance Clique wants to make their wish with the cake, they light the candles and Tatum and Gigi recover enough to do what we all expected last week, the cake in the face spot. Some…suggestive licking from both of our Hot Topic Hotties, so…no complaints here.
.@Ashamae_Sebera, @Heathereckless and @IamGeorgeIceman are having a meltdown!
WATCH #TNAiMPACT on TNA+: https://t.co/LaVxF6l2yc pic.twitter.com/FnKwPqm2ff
— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) March 28, 2025
Fir$t Cla$$ & Frankie Kazarian vs Laredo Kid, Octagon Jr & Chavo Guerrero Jr
Chavo and Kaz start since he’s King Petty, a quick rope run turns into a Headscissor from Chavo. Kaz recovers, they lock up, Kaz hits the Knee Lift during the lock up to tag out to KC. KC pulls off some athletic dodges, gloats a bit so Chavo waits, measures and nails a gorgeous Dropkick. Laredo comes in on fire, quick high spots that send KC bouncing around like HBK against Hulk. KC powders after sells the Satellite Takedown, AJ checks on him and we go to commercial.
Back from commercial, Octagon is lighting up KC’s chest with overhand chops, he perches, Sunset Headscissor Flip from corner to corner, KC tries to Back Drop him but Octagon does a headstand, kicks KC away and lays him out with a high spot. AJ gets on the apron to stop Octagon from running the ropes, the referee has a stroke or something because he stops paying attention and AJ pulls Octagon out of the ring and chucks him. KC with the Tope con Hilo and tag (tag ropes haven’t mattered since the 80s we all know this). So AJ is getting taunted by the crowd in Spanish, but he’s manhandling Octagon since it looks like a Child fighting their parent. AJ knocks off Chavo and Laredo, Laredo pops up and tries to get involved but he’s caught on the shoulders, Octagon goes for the Crossbody but gets caught and AJ pulls off “World’s Strongest Wasteland” but Chavo breaks up the pinfall. AJ throws Octagon into the corner, Tennessee Whiskey, and tag out to KC. KC hits a few moves, but starts to lose the momentum until he connects with a Super Kick. Simultaneous rope run into the Dueling Crossbodies, so we get the timely tag outs from both sides. Kaz and Laredo come in, Laredo lands like two moves before Kaz hits a Sole Butt, Lariat and eats his lunch. KC and Kaz try to double team Laredo but he fights out and the crowd is chanting for Chavo.
Chavo tags in, and he’s rocking KC, Saito Suplex, Low Bridge to AJ, Reverse the Whip so Chavo goes to the corner and perches, KC feeds, Chavo Backflips to safety, rolls through and lays out KC. Chavo is feeling himself, 3 Amigos start on KC but only 2, Kaz comes in and Chavo switches to Kaz for the Amigos, only 2 again before AJ breaks it up. AJ goes for the disrespect, but Chavo counters and hits the 3 Amigos on the biggest Culero. Aztec Warriors dive to stop AJ and Kaz, KC tries a Dirty Victory Roll but Chavo kicks out. GORY BOMB into FROG SPLASH!
Chavo looked fantastic and he’s the one in the best shape in the ring. I wouldn’t be mad at more Chavito.
Jacy Jayne vs Masha Slamovich
I expect very little from this match.
Collar and Elbow, gator rolling for the first 30 seconds or so, then Jacy goes to some Hair Pull takedowns and does a little taunt before Masha pops back up and hits a Lariat into a Dive. Jacy sells it like she’s really hurt, even the ref tries to hold Masha back a little before Masha gets annoyed and just grabs her, Masha throws her in, looks for a Dive and Jacy sees it and powders. Masha tries to go back to the well for the Dive again but Jacy hits the Uppercut and then an Apron Run PK to drop Masha. Forearms rain down into a Foot Choke as Jacy continues to arrogantly play to the crowd. Another Foot Choke into a Cannonball, and near fall.
Masha gets space with a Sole Butt, tries to snap off Requiem but Jacy fights off, fights through a Sunset Flip another effective PK keeps Masha on her ass. Jacy looks for a kinda half-assed Camel Clutch as Masha is fighting up, but Jacy runs her into the corner, gets distracted mouthing off to the crowd, so Masha recovers, 5 Hole Up Kick sends Jacy into the corner, Yakuza Kick into Capo Kick for two. Requiem attempt again, but Jacy pushes off, a little back and forth, Masha tries a Backslide but Jacy gets away and hits a V-Trigger but only a 2 count. Jacy looks for the Discus Punch but Masha ducks it, they strike back and forth, but some dodges from both leave the exchange more even. Jacy with the Front Kick to the face sends Masha to the outside. Jacy wants another PK, but Masha blocks, Electric Chair Apron Snake Eyes. Masha throws her in, a PK into a near all. Requiem attempt 3, and thwarted from Jacy with a Superkick into a Neckbreaker. Senton misses from Jacy, Buzzsaw Kick, into Spinning Back Kick and Russian Death Device for the win.
Better than I expected, and Tessa attacks as soon as the bell rings. Xia Brookside and Lei Ying Li make the save after Tessa grabs the belt.
Eric Young w/two losers vs Ace Austin
Ace and Eric tie up, World of Sport start but as soon as Ace starts to get away EY punches him in the face. Eric looks at the camera and says “This is what trust looks like”, turns his back on Ace, when Ace looks to attack, the loser duo cut him off. EY takes advantage of the weird situation, but Ace with some Up and Over quick spots, into an Inside Cradle and La Magistral. EY kicks out of the quick flash attempts, but eats a Dropkick, and Ace goes all Speed Kils on him with fast strikes and then a face buster for another near fall. Strike spot very early in the match, Ace gets the best of it, goes for a Tear Drop Suplex but EY sits on it to block, Headlocks to keep him close and then a snap Lariat into beatdown bully tactics. EY takes the referee’s attention and one of the nerds punch Ace in the face.
Eric tries to lean on Ace, but Ace fires, a few strikes, Click Click Boom, the Miz Seated Lariats in the corner, Mochizuki Triangle Kick connects! Only a 2 count, but Ace seems to be in control. Ace puts EY on the ropes, a few strikes to keep him rocked, wants a Superplex, but EY blocks, bites the face and Macho Elbow gets a very close two count. EY tries the Piledriver but Ace turns it into a Jacknife Cradle,Spinning Heel Kick, calls for The Fold, but the losers hop on the apron to distract, Ace attacks them. Ace tries to time out the Triangle Kick again, but Eric dodges, throws Ace head first through the buckles. As Ace stumbles out of the corner, Piledriver, and it’s over.
Oh look it’s the “we’ll hear from Joe Hendry” segment. Again, I’ve loved this gimmick since Day 1, even didn’t hate his What Culture Pro stuff, but there is such a thing as milking a cow too much.
Elijah interrupts the whole “Who’s next” speech. When Elijah comes out he says he’s not the challenger and he believes in Joe. The crowd wants Elijah to turn on Hendry. Elijah pauses for a moment, and starts proving his friendship with stating his favorite color and a little “You Got a Friend in Me”. The crowd is into singing along and waving their cameras like Lighters to a 30 year old song. THANKFULLY Kaz breaks up the hug fest. Now he gets the “Culero” chant.
Kaz pulls out a Bass…what the hell is this Jam Session. Kaz has to warm up so he plays “La Cucaracha” on the bass. Kaz…is a national treasure. Hendry kicks Kaz out of the ring after his Heelish and playfully racially charged song choices. Kaz tries to sow dissension, but Joe and Elijah pinball Kaz between them. Kaz slips a power move and tries to shove Elijah into Joe but Elijah puts the brakes on, a small tense moment. But then Joe and Elijah play “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey, Goodbye”…and that goes right into a commercial. Oddly…perfect.
Nic Nemeth w/Ryan Nemeth vs Leon Slater
Nic shoots the half immediately for a flash pinfall but Leon kicks out at one. Nic continues to keep things grounded with his amateur wrestling skills, and then does a little Dolph Ziggler show off. So Nic isn’t really taking this seriously, and Leon starts getting the best of things with an Arm Wringer, into drag, Shoulder Tackle and rope run as Nic tries to Leap Frog and Leon puts on the brakes and just shoves Nic on his ass. Nic gets annoyed, a few strikes, grinds his face along the ropes, but Leon keeps stringing some offense together, Back Handspring Elbow into his Corner con Hilo.
Ahh the classic formula of the commercial gives the heel the advantage, Twisting Suplex from Leon stops Nic’s offense momentum, right hand, Leon lifts Nic up for something, Nic slips it, kicks him in the gut, looks for the FameAsser, but Leon catches him into a Blue Thunder Bomb variation. Slater wants the Swanton 450, but Nic powders. Leon tries to adjust into a Dive, but Nic cuts him off, counter for counter and a FameAsser out of the counters for a two count. Nic starts the big brother tactics, bootwashes and arrogance, Slater fires, punches into a Yakuza Kick. Leon wants another Lethal Injection variant, but Nic catches him into a Rear Naked Choke. Slater tries to turn it into a pin so Nic breaks it. Leon wants a Leg Lariat but misses and gets unceremoniously dropped by Nic. Nic puts Leon up on the buckles, Superplex possibly but Slater counters, tries to collect himself for a move, but Nic falls into the ropes to crotch Leon, and finally hits the Superplex.
Twist of Slate from Leon, Swanton 450 but knees get up. Locomotion Cradles from both but they kick out, Ryan picks the ankle to trip up Leon just a touch and then Danger Zone ends the match.
Ryan starts the post match beatdown, but the Hardy’s music hits and they come down to the ring for the save. Matt challenges the Nemeths for Rebellion because they’re not medically cleared yet.
Overall Score: 6.5/10
Decent story motion, no match was offensive, and there was actually some solid match action for television standards. I don’t have a ton to complain about aside from the Knockouts Division is in a weird spot, and giving Hendry a lot of just talking and hollow payoff segments feels stupid. If we need to hear from him every week, give him a talk segment like Highlight Reel or something. Yes I know First Class just got The Penthouse, but if Hendry is going to talk more than wrestle, give him a talk segment for us to sink our teeth into.
There was the announcement that Xia, Lei Ying and Masha will face Tessa, Jacy and a mystery partner. So you gotta wonder if there’s going to be another NXT mercenary, a surprise return or if it’ll just be Rosemary since she’s got her issues with Xia. Also I just realized that Unbreakable is going to be on a Thursday, seemingly after iMPACT? I’m gonna have to see how they do it, because if there’s an Impact episode and 2-3 hour PLE…I do not want to be awake until 1am. People need to work, and I will be Unwakeable if things go that long.
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