Coverage
Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (1/23/23)
Raw turns 30!
This could be the biggest Raw of all time!
For THIRTY YEARS, through highs and lows, Monday Night Raw has led the WWE! Now we see who leads Raw into the NEXT thirty years!
OFFICIAL RESULTS
- Raw Tag Team Championships: The Usos VS The Judgment Day; The Usos and Sami Zayn win and retain the titles.
- Steel Cage Match: Bayley VS Becky Lynch; No Contest.
- Six Man Tag: Seth Rollins & The Street Profits VS Imperium; Rollins & The Profits win.
- Bianca Belair VS Sonya Deville; Bianca wins.
- WWE United States Championship No Disqualifications: Austin Theory VS Bobby Lashley; Theory wins and retains the title.
PLAY BY PLAY
Hulk Hogan is here!
And so is Jimmy Hart! The Mouth of the South and the TWO-TIME WWE Hall of Famer Immortal Hulkamania are on stage with mics, to say, “What’s up Philadelphia Hulkamaniacs? Well let me tell you something, WWE Universe! A long time ago, when Hulkamania was running wild, a little TV show started, called Monday Night Raw. And week after week, it got bigger, and week after week, it got better, just like me! Yes, sir, guys. And tonight, we celebrate thirty YEARS of Monday Night Raw! We celebrate thirty years then, we celebrate thirty years now, and we celebrate thirty years forever, together!”
Hulk asks, “Whatcha gonna do when Hulkamania, thirty years of Monday Night Raw, and those Philadelphia Eagles run wild on you?!” Fans fire up, will this truly be the biggest night in Raw history?
The Bloodline is here!
The Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns, leads the way for Paul Heyman, the Usos, Solo Sikoa and Sami Zayn! Tonight was meant to be a multigenerational Acknowledgement Ceremony for the Head of the Table, but recent circumstances have forced a change in plans. Even so, Roman and the Usos raise their belts for the pyro. They then go to the ring, and they raise the belts again for another round of Pyro. But behold, there is a table set up. Kevin Owens got the better of everyone on Friday Night SmackDown, except for Sami Zayn, who was a minute too late to stop the Prizefighter. Hence, tonight is a Tribal Court Hearing!
Fans are torn as the Bloodline stands around the table, with Sami off to the side. Philly chants for Sami, but Heyman hands Roman a mic. “Philadelphia! ACKNOWLEDGE ME!” Philly sounds pretty torn here. Roman wants to get to business. “Wise Man!” “Yes, My Tribal Chief!” Heyman takes the mic and everyone sits at the table. Philly chants for “E C DUB!” as Heyman speaks. “My Tribal Chief, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my name is Paul Heyman. And I noticed just a moment ago, you all had a chant of three letters that are very near and dear to me.” Fans chant those letters again, “E C DUB!”
But Heyman explains to Roman that ECW is dead, and Heyman wishes the same for SAMI ZAYN! Fans boo, that’s not right! Fans chant for Sami now, but Heyman says, “In plain Samoan speak in this Tribal Court, that is an imbula bara para!” A JUDAS! A BETRAYER of the Island of Relevancy! A conspiracist, in a conspiracy with Kevin Owens since day number one! Sami led the Bloodline on about how good they are and how he is a part of them, “like the fans of the Philadelphia Eagles.” Fans boo but Heyman says they’re gonna feel like the fans after they get conquered by BROCK PURDY of the 49ers! Fans boo even harder!
Fans chant “Fly Eagles Fly!” but Heyman continues to say that this is an open and shut case. He has Exhibits A, B, C, D, even E, F, G, all the way to L M N O P! But he’ll stop at these four pieces of footage that demonstrate that Sami Zayn is “guilty as charged.” Fans boo but Heyman presents his evidence. Exhibit A: Sami talking with the Usos on 8/12/22, and then Drew McIntyre attacks! “Sword Ass” McIntyre jumped the Usos but Sami ran off! “Like the gutless coward that he is!” And then Exhibit B: 8/29/22, Jey telling Sami to get a chair, and Sami taking his sweet time. Sami could’ve hit Kevin, but he didn’t! And Kevin hit a Stunner to win!
Heyman apologizes to Jey that he had to relive that. But Exhibit C: 11/26/22, Survivor Series and the WarGames match. After the win, Sami isn’t with the Bloodline celebrating, he’s on top of the cage for his own glory. And he says something about for life! Is he nWo? Four Horseman? What? And lastly, Exhibit D: 12/23/22, Sami talking up the Bloodline, but shoulder bumping Roman! THAT! The high school hallway shoulder bump! That’s assault! Does Sami perform euthanasia on Roman’s father? Castrate Roman’s sons? That was an assassination attempt on Roman so that Sami could become the Tribal Chief!
If Sami is guilty of nothing else, he is guilty of assault on the Tribal Chief! Heyman tells Roman and the “jury,” he begs of us, and he’s not a begging man, “to find this rat bastard… Guilty! As! Charged!” Fans boo as Heyman drops the mic in Sami’s lap. Then he picks up another mic just to say he rests is case. Fans rally behind Sami as he stands up to speak. “You know, I had a whole defense all lined up, all laid out in my head, but the one thing I didn’t count on was how I would actually feel when I came out here.
“And Paul, watching you, listening to you say all that, right to my face, after every time you hugged me, and it’s Shmuli this, and ‘I love you, Shmuli’ that, man… That hurts. That hurts so much. Watching you play that video, carefully craft this video to make it out like what? What do you think? What do you think I’m doing? You think I’m conspiring with Kevin Owens? You think I’m trying to take out the Tribal Chief?” Heyman shouts “YES!” Sami asks how Heyman can think that after all this time. The fact Heyman would think that, that hurts! After everything that’s gone on, the fact that the Bloodline doesn’t see it, guess what? The FANS see it!
The fans have seen it all these last nine months! But the fact that they’d literally put Sami on trial, to defend himself, that hurts. “So I guess what I’m saying is, my defense is that I have no defense.” Sami sits back down but Philly cheers him on. Roman looks confused. He grabs a mic and says, “Let me get this straight. You don’t have a defense? You got so much ego, you won’t even fight for this? You won’t even explain yourself? You don’t care now, huh? You got so much ego, that you can’t even argue for this? This doesn’t mean anything to you?” Roman gave Sami chance after chance, and this is what he does? This is the respect he shows Roman!? SOLO!!
Solo steps closer to Sami and fans boo. Solo walks around Sami, prepares the thumb, but then JEY stops him!? Fans fire up as Jey stops the Samoan Spike from executing Sami! Fans chant “UCEY! UCEY!” and Jey has everyone calm down. OG, no disrespect, but Jey has his own footage. Roll the tape. WHAT!? Defense Exhibit A! It’s 6/3/22, Matt Riddle hits a SUPER RKO but Roman’s music hit! Jey snuck the tag, then hits the USO SPLASH so the Usos retain, and Sami was the one who pulled the fake-out! Exhibit B: 8/19/22, McIntyre tossing Roman around, but Sami makes the save! Exhibit C: 9/9/22, McIntyre goes after Solo with a chair, Sami makes the save!
And Exhibit D: 12/9/22, Usos beat Brawling Brutes, Sami makes sure Sheamus couldn’t get in! And then Exhibit E: back to WarGames, Kevin has Roman down, Sami stops the ref! And then LOW BLOWS Kevin! And then hits the HELLUVA KICK to set Kevin up for Jey’s USO SPLASH, that wins it for them! Fans cheer seeing those videos, and Jey says, “Let’s go, man! It’s right there, Uce. It’s right there on tape, on film, for you and the whole world to see! This man has taken so many bullets for me, for you, for the whole Bloodline. Man, my dawg basically bulletproof.” And we all know Jey despised and distrusted Sami.
But Sami saw the good in Jey the whole time and never gave up on him. That’s what family do! Fans cheer that, and Jey says, “That tape right there demonstrates to me, Uce, loyalty! And love to this family! Sami Zayn, I love you like a brother, Uce, 100.” So if you want Sami to stay, throw your ones to the sky! All of Philly joins Jey, and even Jimmy raises his finger! Roman stands up now, but fans chant “SAMI USO!” Roman says, “As your Tribal Chief, and the Head of the Table, I find you, Sami Zayn…Â Not guilty.” Fans cheer and Heyman looks like he’s tearing up. But then Roman adds, “For now.” He wants Sami to thank Jey, because Jey bought Sami time.
In the meantime, this is how it will go. Sami can finish tonight, make the Bloodline proud, and then Roman doesn’t wanna see Sami again until Saturday at the Royal Rumble. Not see him, hear from him, or hear that he’s at a show. Sami will go home, then show up at the Royal Rumble. And that is where Sami delivers his final test. Then we’ll see if Sami Zayn really is The Bloodline or not. The Tribal Chief has passed his judgment, but will the Honorary Uce find a way to finally prove he is worthy?
Raw Tag Team Championships: The Usos w/ Sami Zayn VS The Judgment Day w/ Rhea Ripley & Finn Balor!
Jimmy & Jey helped Sami stay in the Bloodline, but now they must pull their own weight in defending their own honor! Will the Usos keep Raw on lockdown? Or will Dominik Mysterio & Damian Priest bring the jailhouse rock to the Uso Penitentiary?
The introductions are made, the red belts are raised, and we see who really runs Monday Night Raw!
The teams sort out and Priest starts with Jimmy. Priest fires off with kicks and fists, then he whips Jimmy to ropes. Jimmy holds ropes, Priest rushes in but Jimmy sends him out. Priest gets back on the apron and blocks a kick, but he spins Jimmy for the DRAGON WHIP! Jimmy then builds speed, but Priest moves aside. Jimmy grins, goes out to taunt Dom and then follows Priest. Dom goes after Jimmy but Jimmy DECKS him! Priest POUNCES Jimmy onto the announce desk! Priest and Dom high-five, Priest puts Jimmy in, and tags in Dom. Dom slingshot sentons! Fans boo as Dom gives us Latino Heat.
Dom CHOKES Jimmy on the ropes, lets off at 4, and Finn gets a cheap shot in! Dom stomps away on Jimmy, rains down forearms, then tags Priest. They mug Jimmy, Priest whips Jimmy to ropes and BACK ELBOWS him down! Cover, TWO! Jimmy sits up but Priest clamps onto the arms for a motorcycle stretch. Fans rally as Jimmy endures. Roman, Solo and Heyman watch from their private room, though Heyman is watching Roman more than anything. Jimmy fights up but Priest CLUBS him down. Fans boo but Priest soaks it all up. Priest stands Jimmy up, shoves him and CLUBS him on the back!
Priest roars, Jimmy sputters, and Rhea mocks Jimmy. Priest brings Jimmy up and shoves, but Jimmy LARIATS on the return! Fans rally up as Priest and Jimmy both crawl. Hot tags to Dom and Jey! Fans rally as Jey rallies on Dom with big clotheslines! Mule kick! UPPERCUT! Dom flounders, swings on Jey but Jey dodges him to SAMOAN DROP! Rhea and Finn freak out but Jey leads the fans in “UCE! SO!” HIP ATTACK in the corner! Cover, TWO! Dom survives but Jey drags Dom up. Dom ROCKS Jey, blocks a kick, but also gets a DRAGON WHIP! Tag to Priest, he ROUNDHOUSES Jey away! Priest runs in, but Jey elbows back!
Jimmy tags in, Priest choke grips Jey! Jey slips free, the Usos shove and DOUBLE SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Priest is still in this and Rhea is frustrated. Jimmy goes to a corner, climbs up top, and fans rally with Sami. Dom rushes over but Jimmy DECKS him! Priest runs in, Jimmy shoulders him back, but Jimmy slingshots into a HAYAMKER! Jey runs in, Priest fires off strikes! Priest ROCKS Jimmy in a corner, SPLASHES Jey in the other! Priest runs to back elbow Jimmy, then back elbow Jey, then back to Jimmy! Another shot for Jey, and then the BROKEN ARROW! Priest snarls as Jey bails out.
Priest builds speed, but Jimmy SUPERKICKS him! Priest rebounds to SUPERKICK back! Jimmy flops out of the ring, Priest builds speed, and Priest FLIES! Direct hit and down go both Usos! Rhea and Finn fire up as Priest roar! Philly boos as Priest puts Jimmy back in, and Priest runs to COMEBACKER LARIAT! Cover, TWO!! Rhea is furious but the ref defends his count. Jimmy is in the corner, Priest runs in to back elbow! Dom tags in, Priest ROLLING KICKS Jey! Priest lifts Jimmy and Dom climbs up, DOOMSDAY!! Cover, TWO!?! Jimmy survives and Rhea can’t believe it! Sami is relieved but Rhea shouts at the ref.
Priest tags back in, he stalks Jimmy and brings him up. Priest reels Jimmy in, Canadian Racks, but Jimmy sips off! Tag to Jey! SUPERKICK for Priest! Dom run sin, into DOUBLE SUPERKICKS! DOUBLE SUPERKICKS for Priest! And then DOUBLE SUPERKICKS AGAIN! Cover, TWO!!! Priest survives and everyone is shocked! Finn helps Dom back in, and the ref has to stop him. Finn runs around to trip up Jey! But the ref sees him!! Finn says no, he didn’t mean to! But the ref EJECTS Finn!! Finn is furious but Philly is loving it! More refs come out to drag Finn away! Jey adjusts, USO SPLASHÂ onto knees! Cover, TWO!!!
Rhea can’t believe it! But Jey SUPERKICKS Priest! Tag to Jimmy and he goes up top, USO SPLASH!! Cover, TWO!?!? Priest survives and no one can believe it! Sami is worried, Rhea rallies for Priest and Dom. Jimmy stands, builds speed, and he DIVES to take out Priest! Dom hurries to Priest’s side, Rhea tells commentary to shut up about being nervous. Jimmy hobbles, his leg is bothering him. Jey checks on him, as does Sami. The ref checks on Jimmy, too, but Jimmy is pissed! He hurt his leg, and that brings out medics. The medics help Jimmy up, and Adam Pearce hurries out. Jimmy can’t continue? The ref confirms as much.
Well, if Jimmy can’t, then protocol dictates forfeiting the match, and the titles. Rhea laughs, but Sami says wait! There has to be a solution! Fans cheer and they already anticipate that solution! One Uso is down, but Sami USO is good to go! Sami wants to tag in! Roman is curious as to this development, but fans want to see it! Pearce says he did it for Judgment Day, he’ll do it for Raw 30! Sami tags in, this match continues NOW! Sami is doing his duty, and he fires off on Dom! Jey is after Priest, Philly is thunderous! Sami clotheslines Dom out, Priest clotheslines Jey out! Priest rushes Sami, Sami dumps Priest out!
Fans fire up as Sami builds speed, to FLY! Direct hit on Dom and Priest! Fans are even more fired up as Sami drags Dom up and into the ring! Priest grabs Sami’s foot, Sami kicks him away, but Dom rolls up Sami! With feet on the ropes! TWO!!!! Dom fires off furious fists on Sami, and he says HE will be champion! Dom runs in, into a CORNER EXPLODER! Fans fire up as Sami goes to the other end! But Rhea gets on the apron! Fans boo, but Priest sneaks in! Choke grip, SOUTH OF HEAVEN!!! Sami is down, Dom crawls to the cover! Cover, TWO!?!? Sami survives and Judgment Day cannot believe it! But Philly is LOVING this!
Dom dares Sami to get up, then he runs in, body scissors onto the rope! Dom dials it up but Jey tags in! SUPERKICK for Dom! SUPERKICK for Priest! Rhea gets in, and Jey hesitates. Rhea dares Jey to do something, but then Dom rushes in and dropkicks Jey onto ropes! Dom dials it up, 619!! Fans boo but Dom climbs up! FROG SPLASH!! Cover, SAMI BREAKS IT!! Fans are thunderous but Priest whips Sami to a corner. Sami dodges and Priest POSTS himself! Priest flops out, Dom TOSSES Sami out! But Jey fireman’s carries! Dom slips off, Sami tags in as Jey bucks the O’Conner! SUPERKICK! Sami and Jey coordinate, they ONE AND DONE!!! Cover, THE USOS WIN!!
Winners: Jey Uso & Sami Zayn (still Raw Tag Team Champions)
Roman is rather stunned. Sami actually did it! He made up for tonight, but Roman still doesn’t wanna see Sami until Saturday. Heyman says, “Yes, My Tribal Chief.” But even so, Sami and Jey raise the belts together as brothers in arm! Will San Antonio be Sami’s last stand?
JBL and Baron Corbin walk around backstage.
They come across The Godfather! JB and Charles Wright hug it out, and Wright asks JBL, “Who’s the stooge you got with you?” JBL introduces Corbin, and Wright checks his guest list. Barry? No, Baron. He’s gotta be on the list. Nope, no Corbins. JBL says maybe they can speak to the owner of the establishment. Sure, he can do that. Wait, APA? It’s RON SIMMONS! Bradshaw and Farooq hug it out, but who’s the stooge? This is Baron Corbin! HIs protégé. They wanna get in on the poker game but Corbin’s not on the list. Maybe They could check it again, wink wink. Money money. Oh… That list. Yeah, they got a spot for him.
Ron says he’s got just the thing for Corbin and JBL, and they walk through the door. Ron sure fixed this place up from the old days. There’s THREE poker tables, with legends and new stars all around! Will Corbin fit right in here?
LA Knight is here!
The Mega Star of SmackDown is here on Raw 30, and he says, “Lemme talk to ya!” Philly cheers “YEAH!” “Last Friday on SmackDown, Bray Wyatt brought back the Firefly Funhouse, yippee~! A grown-man incel playing with puppets with spooky music. And I’m supposed to be scared of that? HUH!? WRONG! If I was any more a man, there’d be two of me standing here right now. Meanwhile, this guy is living on past glory, and it just got me thinking. Here we are, Raw is turning 30 tonight, there’s a bunch of legends back there running around, they’re living on past glory. Bray Wyatt’s living on past glory.
“And it just has me thinking: If any single one of those legends right now has enough tingle in their loins, YEAH~, why don’t you come on down here and I’ll give you a little preview of the Pitch Black match at Royal Rumble, at your expense, YEAH!” Everyone waits, but Knight figured. No one will- WAIT! The bell tolls, the lights go down, and the moon rises! IT’S THE UNDERTAKER!! But then wait, Kidd Rock plays, and it’s the AMERICAN BADASS TAKER!! The motorcycle riding version of the Dead Man is here in Philly! Taker parks at ringside, makes sure the kickstand is up, and then Philly fires up as he gets in the ring!
Knight says that’s enough, cut the music! Fans chant for “UNDERTAKER!” and now Taker is waiting on Knight to get back in the ring. Knight says, “Before we take this anywhere, I heard what you said on Joe Rogan about the locker room being soft. Hey, I agree with ya. You look back there and there’s a bunch of softies back there. Top of the list is Bray Wyatt. But I’ll tell you like this: if you think I fall under that umbrella, somebody told you the wrong story. But I tell you what. You’re giving me an opportunity to do something right now.
Let’s just think about something here: think of the irony of the headline we can create right now: LA Knight sends the Undertaker to the undertaker. HAHA, YEAH!” So Knight says he’s gonna give Taker a pass. He’ll let Taker live to see another day and enjoy retirement with his family. Oh, but Knight wants Taker to watch the match at Rumble. After that, Knight will be the Lord of Darkness. Also, if anyone asks you whose game this is, don’t be confused. Everyone is saying it’s L A Knight’s Game, YEAH! But then the lights go down! BRAY WYATT is here! And he’s right behind Knight! Knight gets scared down the ramp, stuck between a rock and a hard place!
Bray walks his way forward, lantern shining, and it forces Knight towards the ring. Knight tells Taker not to take what he just said personally. But then Taker choke grips Knight! Knight begs for mercy, but Taker sees Bray approach the ring. Bray steps inside, and Taker gives Knight over to SISTER ABIGAIL! And fans lose their minds over a moment we thought we’d never see again: Taker and Bray staring down! Taker whispers something to Bray, then takes his leave. What just did the Phenom tell the Eater of Worlds? Will it help Bray overcome not just Knight, but the inner demons Bray is battling?
We check back in with the APA poker games.
JBL sees the belt Alundra Blayze has with her. Did she fish this out of the trash? Ha ha. She raises, Gable folds, “A thank yew.” Why does he always do that? It’s the smart move! Otis doesn’t care, he’s in! What about DDP? Oh, he’s in, and calls. Blayze has Kings & Queens, FULL HOUSE! She’s still champ! WAIT! D D P has a straight. Those don’t beat Full Houses. But a STERAIGHT FLUSH DOES! BANG! Alright, good one. Who will be the big winner tonight on the biggest night in Raw history?
Steel Cage Match: Bayley VS Becky Lynch!
The Role Model and the Man have escalated their rivalry to this point, in which Bayley got goaded into doing this all on her own! Dakota Kai & Iyo Sky see Bayley out, but will they see Bayley lose all on her own? Or can Bayley finally overcome everything Becky says is still bothering her?
Raw is picture in picture for Bayley’s entrance, and she takes a moment to take in the sight that is the cage lowering. She tells the crew to hustle up, time is money. Bayley taunts Philly from the cage, more than likely saying her 49ers will beat the Eagles just like she’ll beat Becky here. Raw returns to single picture as Becky makes her entrance. Becky steps into the cage, but wait! Kai & Sky return! SO much for doing this alone! Becky fights them off, but Bayley BOOTS the door into Becky! Kai & Sky throw Becky around, then FLAPJACK her into the cage! Bayley cheers her team on as Kai has a metal chain! She DECKS Becky with a chain fist!
Kai & Sky put Becky in the cage, then join Bayley in beat Becky down! Kai uses the chain to lock the door! Bayley & Sky TOSS Becky into the steel! Bayley rains down fists, and says she’s the smartest person in this division! Pearce is furious but he can’t get the door open as Bayley hits a suplex on Becky! Sky stomps Becky then hits a LIONSAULT! Pearce and Bayley argue, but Bayley says Becky wanted this! Pearce has bolt cutters and he cuts away at the chain! But DMG CTRL hits a DOUBLE BACK SUPLEX NECKBREAKER!! Becky is down, DMG CTRL climbs the cage to get away from Pearce and the refs.
Fans boo but DMG CTRL laughs, having pulled off their master plan. Will anyone be able to humble the Role Model with the back-up she’s got?
Degeneration X is here!
Philly fires up because they are ready! HHH! HBK! Road Dogg! X-Pac! And playing the part of Billy Gunn tonight is Kurt Angle. Angle joins in on the crotch chop pyro! Dogg gets the mic to say, “The more things change, the more they stay the same. Now then, llllladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages! Tonight, Degeneration X proudly presents to you, it’s SIX-TIME WWE Tag Team Champions of the WOOOOORLD~! The Road Dogg, Jessie James! The Bad-” Wait. They just now noticed Kurt Angle? What’s he doing here? Angle always wanted to be in DX. He takes off his red, “I’ll make you TAP OUT” shirt, and reveals a DX shirt!
HBK wants to sort this out. If Angle wants to be in DX, he has to past the test. Is he ready? Is that the test? HHH says nevermind. He asks the fans, “ARE! YOU! READY~?!” Fans cheer, so “then, for the sold out thousands in attendance. For the millions watching around the world. LLLLLLLLLLET’S-” IMPERIUM!? Giovanni Vinci, Ludwig Kaiser, and of course Der Ring General, GUNTHER, are here from SmackDown! The WWE Intercontinental Champion leads his soldiers into the ring to stand face-to-face with DX! Ludwig has a mic to say, “Shame on you for all that filth and nonsense.”
Fans boo but Gunther says, “Look at all of you! You bunch of degenerates! Standing out here celebrating yourselves! For what?! For making a mockery of this great sport! We are Imperium! And we are here to restore the honor of this precious sport. And we are here to kick you out of OUR ring. Unless anyone of you is gonna do something about it.” They all pat HHH on the back and he steps up! HHH says, “I’m retired, dude.” Then he steps back and looks to HBK. Fans cheer on HBK, but he says he’s too old. X-Pac says if they’re leaving this to him, he has shin splints. and Road Dogg won’t even joke about it. HHH tells “Butterbean” to stay in the corner.
But HHH has the group huddle up. Fans already cheer on Kurt Angle, and they look to him. So they volunteer Kurt! Kurt say nope, not it. Oh, c’mon! Well, they’re in a bit of a jam, then. HHH wishes there was someone who would come out here and fight Imperium. SETH ROLLINS is here! Fans sing “OH~ OHH~ OHHH~!” for the Visionary as he makes his way to the ring. But wait, he’s just one guy. Imperium is three. If only there was a team that could help Seth. Well here come the STREET PROFITS! Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins wear their 76ers best as they make their way to the ring! Because where there’s fire, there’s SMOKE!
Dogg says this is cool! Three and three, now what? Well, someone needs to make it official. Why’s everyone always looking at HHH? Booking isn’t that easy! You don’t just make decisions on the fly. If only there was someone who could come out and make sense of this whole situation. TEDDY LONG is here! And he says, “Hold on a minute, playa. Now, I’ve got the perfect idea for ya. Imperium, tonight… You will face the Street Profits, and Seth Freakin’ Rollins, in a SIX MAN TAG TEAM MATCH, playa!” HBK says someone needs to keep this chaos under control. Like a special guest referee?
DX huddles up again, Angle wants to talk because he has an idea. Hold on, they’re talking. Guys, Angle has an idea! Fine, let him say it. Angle has a REF SHIRT under the DX shirt! It’s even red, white ‘n’ blue! HHH says let’s make Kurt the special guest ref! It’s official! Ring the bell! HBK says if you’re not down with that, we’ve got two words for ya: SUCK IT!! Will Imperium regret crashing Raw 30?
Six Man Tag: Seth Rollins & The Street Profits VS Imperium!
Raw returns and the trios sort out as Jerry “The King” Lawler joins commentary. Rollins and Vinci start, and they circle. Fans sing for Rollins, “OH~ OHH~ OHHH~!” Rollins and Vinci tie up, go around, and Vinci headlocks. Rollins powers up but can’t power out as Vinci holds tight. Rollins fights up, powers out, and things speed up. Rollins hurdles, redirects, then mule kicks Vinci! Front kick, DISCUS LARIAT! Fans fire up and Rollins brings Vinci up. Rollins wrenches the arm, tags in Ford, and Ford jumps in to CLUB Vinci’s elbow! Ford wrenches the arm, but Vinci kicks low! Vinci uppercuts and CHOPS!
Ford is stinging, but Vinci whips. Ford reverses to DROPKICK Vinci down! Cover, TWO! Ford CHPOS Vinci in the corner, whips him corner to corner, but Vinci reverses. Ford boots but Vinci blocks to short arm LARIAT! Vinci stomps Ford, tags Ludwig, and Imperium mugs Ford. Ludwig CLUBS Ford, kicks low, then CLUBS Ford again. Fans rally for Ford but Ludwig bumps Ford off buckles. Ludwig stomps a mudhole, then shouts, “NEIN!” Fans boo but Ludwig drags Ford up. Ludwig whips but Ford reverses to CHOP, CHOP and CHOP! Ford whips, tag to Dawkins, the Profits run Ludwig over! Back suplex SPLASH! Cover, TWO!
Ludwig goes to a corner but Dawkins whips Ludwig corner to corner. Dawkins runs in but Ludwig dodges the cyclone to GAMANGIRI! Ludwig ROCKS Dawkins, but Dawkins DECKS Ludwig! Both men are down and Philly fires up! Hot tags to Gunther and Rollins! The Architect stares down with Der Ring General and fans fire up. Gunther kicks low, CLUBS Rollins, then UPPERCUTS! Gunther scoops but Rollins slips off to waistlock, Gunther switches, for a SLEEPER! Rollins arm-drags free, runs in but is put on the apron. Gunther swings, Rollins dodges to shoulder in! Rollins springboards, into a CHOP!
Rollins sputters, Gunther drags Rollins up and scoop SLAMS him! Then NECK TWIST! Rollins writhes, Angle reprimands, but Gunther CHOPS Ford down, and he stares Dawkins down while Raw goes picture in picture.
Gunther stalks Rollins, stomps him around, then drags Rollins up to wrench. Gunther grinds the arm, tags in Ludwig, and they mug Rollins. Rollins goes to ropes, Ludwig CHOKES him! Angle counts, Ludwig lets off and argues with him, and Vinci gets a cheap shot in! Angle suspects something but Ludwig covers, TWO! Ludwig drags Rollins up to chinlock, but Rollins endures. Rollins pries the hold, fans rally up, and Rollins throws body shots. Then a JAWBREAKER! Ludwig staggers back, tag to Vinci! Vinci stops Rollins and whips him to ropes, to then scoop and BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO!
Vinci is annoyed but Angle defends his count. Rollins stands, but Vinci kicks him to the corner. Vinci ROCKS Rollins, then brings Rollins out. Rollins throws body shots, but Vinci knees low! Vinci POSTS Rollins! Tag to Ludwig, and Rollins is tuck in the corner. Gunther joins in, TRIPLE KICK in the corner! Imperium poses together while Rollins flops to the floor. Gunther drags Rollins up, puts him in the ring, and stomps him down. Gunther tags Ludwig, and Ludwig grinds Rollins down with a headlock. Rollins endures, fans rally up again, and Rollins fights up. Rollins throws body shots, powers out, but Ludwig throws him by his hair!
Ludwig then clamps onto Rollins with a chinlock and he grinds Rollins down. Rollins endures, Ludwig puts his weight on the hold, and Raw returns to single picture. Fans continue to rally as Rollins fights up. Rollins pries the hold open to DECK Ludwig! Rollins hurries but Ludwig grabs an arm! Ludwig keeps Rollins back, then he whips Rollins at the corner! Rollins BLASTS Gunther, then CLOBBERS Ludwig! But Vinci rushes in to back suplex! Rollins lands on his feet, ducks Vinci and hot tags Ford! Ford GAMANGIRIS Vinci, then CLOBBERS him! And CLOBBERS him again! Ford CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS! MACHINE GUN CHOPS!
Ford whips, Vinci reverses, but Ford CLOBBERS him! Ford kicks, front kicks, but Vinci ducks the enziguri! Back suplex, but Ford lands on his feet! Vinci kicks, Ford blocks, and Ford has an ANKLE LOCK! Angle appreciates the shoutout, and then Dawkins intercepts Ludwig! DOUBLE ANKLE LOCKS! Fans fire up, Gunther runs in, and he BOOTS Ford! And CHOPS Dawkins! Gunther and Angle argue, and fans fire up for Kurt. Gunther jabs Kurt in the chest with his finger, so Kurt shoves him! Rollins runs in to CLOBBER Gunther! Dawkins builds speed to FLY onto Ludwig! Ford builds speed to FLY onto Vinci!
And as fans sing, “OH~ OHH~ OHHH~!” Rollins builds speed to- CHOP from Gunther! Gunther SHOTGUNS Rollins into buckles! Gunther drags Rollins up, for the GENERAL BOMB! Cover, TWO!!! Rollins survives and Gunther is furious! Gunther waistlocks and deadlifts Rollins, to GERMAN SUPLEX! But Rollins lands on his feet! Gunther gets around, SLEEPER, but Rollins pries free to ELBOW BREAKER! PELE! SUPERKICK! ANGLE SLAM!! Angle likes that shoutout, too! Rollins and Gunther are both down, they crawl for their corners, hot tags to Vinci and Ford! Vinci LARIATS Ford!
Ludwig goes up top, Vinci lifts Ford! But Rollins springs up after Ludwig! Ford back drops Vinci, Rollins SUPERPLEXES Ludwig! And rolls through, feed to the Electric Chair! Ford is up top, BLOCKBUSTER DOOMSDAY!! Gunther returns to CHOP Dawkins! Rollins kicks, Gunther blocks and reels him in! Rollins slips free to PEDIGREE!! Shoutout to HHH!! Dawkins dodges Vinci to ANOINT him! Rollins tags in as Ford is up top, FROM THE HEAVENS! Rollins adds on the CURB STOMP!! Cover, Rollins & the Profits win!
Winners: Seth Rollins & The Street Profits, by pinfall
The Visionary tops it off, he is rolling towards the Royal Rumble! Will Rollins look to #BurnItDown at WrestleMania?
The poker games continue.
And Corbin has made it all the way to facing THE Million Dollar Man, Ted DeBiase! What’s Coribn got? He’s got FOUR ACES! DeBiase folds and he’s out! The pot goes to Corbin! Wait, Irwin R. Schyster is here to say, “Don’t forget to pay your taxes.” IRS takes his cut, and… Corbin gest to keep $100. He “earned” that. Ron walks over and sees what happened. JBL braces for it. “DAMN!!”
Backstage interview with Bobby Lashley.
Cathy Kelley notes that later tonight, Lashley takes on Austin Theory for the WWE United States Championship, but can he explain to us why it’s now in a No Disqualifications match? Lashley says NO DQ means no excuses and no way out. Theory can’t get disqualified to hold onto his title, and Lashley won’t get disqualified for what he’s about to do to Theory. Lashley should still be US champion, if not for Brock Lesnar. But Lashley dealt with Brock, and that little suspension. Lashley has one focus: tear Theory apart and win the US Championship back.
But then MVP steps in and asks Cathy give them time to talk. MVP tells “the champ” that he has no doubt in his mind Lashley will do everything he said he would. Lashley is going to hurt Theory, and take back his title. Then after that, Lashley and MVP can hit the VIP Lounge, pop some bottles, make some new friends, wink wink. Lashley tells MVP that he didn’t need help from MVP or Omos to become #1 contender. And he won’t need their hep to win the title back. So tonight, let Lashley handle his business on his own. Lashley heads out and MVP says okay, Lashley can handle his business. Will Montel Vontavius Porter be a man of his word?
Ric Flair is here!
Philly lets out a “WOO~!” for the Nature Boy, and he has a mic to say, “Celebrating making history. Celebrating 30 years of Raw! You, you keep our lights shining. You keep the Nature Boy stylin’, baby, and profilin’. And like I’ve said over the years, diamonds are forever. And so is Monday Night Raw. WOO~! The WWE has given me so much, given me the opportunity to be so successful. But the greatest gift they’ve given me is the opportunity to watch my daughter exceed all of my goals. And I am so honored, so honored as a father, as a wrestler, as a man, to be here tonight in front of you to introduce to you our very special guest. Really special.
“The greatest Women’s Champion in the history of the WWE, Charlotte Flair! WOO~!” Charlotte makes her entrance now, the SmackDown Women’s Championship around her waist. The Queen struts her way to the ring, high-fiving fans along the way. Charlotte has the mic to say, “It is right here on Raw where we began to revolutionize Women’s Wrestling. It is where I evolved from a Diva, into the FOURTEEN-TIME Women’s Champion! WOO~! Facing names like Ronda Rousey, Nikki & Brie Bella, Asuka, and Rhea Ripley. No, it’s really because of them that I am able to call myself the most decorated athlete of all time. Women’s athlete of all time.
“Now I know I stand here your SmackDown Women’s Champion, but Monday Night Raw will always be my home.” But wait! Here comes Bianca Belair, the RAW Women’s Champion! The EST makes her way to the ring, no stranger to The Queen. Bianca and Charlotte stand in the ring together and fans cheer the EST. Bianca says she respects everything Charlotte’s done for the business. “No one wears a crown like you. Yes, Queen, do what you do! But just not here. Because I go here now. This is my show, this is my home, and you best believe that I do everything that I can to make sure that Raw is the greatest show on television.”
Wait, here comes Sonya Deville! Sonya says, “Oh hold on, hold on. I am so sorry to break up this little pow-wow, but ladies. Do you realize how big a night in Raw history this is? And the two of you are just standing out here, talking about yourselves.” Starting with Charlotte, was it really necessary to fly daddy all the way out here just so he could give her a grand introduction? For a show she’s not even wanted on? And to Bianca, she doesn’t really think fans tune in just for her, does she? That’s a little delusional. But what about people who work so hard to make this show special that don’t get the spotlight every week? People like Sonya.
She did use to run this, y’know. She was Raw General Manager for over a year! Where is HER recognition in all this? Charlotte says she does owe Sonya for the cheap shot on Friday. So Bianca has been killing it, she should handle that. You up for it, champ? Bianca says it’ll be her pleasure! Sonya wants to face the champ, right? She wanted the spotlight, right? So come get in the ring to be the center of Bianca’s attention. That is, if Sonya’s ready to go 1v1 with the EST of the WWE. The ball is in Sonya’s court, will she play the game?
Bianca Belair VS Sonya Deville!
Ras returns and Sonya is playing the game! The bell rings and Sonya circles with Bianca. They tie up, Bianca puts Sonya in the corner but Sonya turns it around., The ref counts, Sonya lets off, and Bianca pushes her. Sonya comes back, waistlocks, but Bianca switches. Sonya switches, Bianca switches again and SLAMS Sonya down! Sonya fight sup, throws elbows, and headlocks. Bianca powers up and out, then she runs Sonya over! Fans cheer as Bianca dusts herself off. Bianca runs, Sonya stays low but Bianca handsprings. Bianca says kiss this, then hurdles. Sonya slides, but turns around into a DROPKICK!
Bianca kips up, fans fire up, and Bianca RAMS Sonya in the corner! The ref counts, Bianca lets off, and she whips Sonya corner to corner. Sonya comes back into a scoop, and Bianca carries Sonya around. Sonya slips off, throws Bianca down by her hair, and then soaks up the heat. Bianca goes to a corner, Sonya storms up and throws kicks and body shots! Sonya stalks Bianca to a corner, she bumps Bianca off buckles, and then Sonya says this will be Charlotte next. Bianca shoves Sonya but Sonya kicks Bianca. Sonya bumps Bianca off buckles, throws body shots, and then snapmares her. Sonya runs, but Bianca avoids the knee!
Bianca rolls Sonya, TWO, and Bianca goes to a corner. Sonya runs into a BOOT! Bianca goes up top, tells Sonya to kiss this, and then she flips over Sonya! Bianca scoops Sonya for a BACKBREAKER! Sonya writhes, Bianca handsprings to MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Fans rally behind Bianca and she brings Sonya up. Bianca whips Sonya to the corner, runs in, but Sonya KNEES Bianca away! Sonya whips but Bianca reverses, sending Sonya out of the ring. Sonya gets on the apron but Bianca WRECKS her with a dropkick! Bianca goes out after Sonya, but Sonya grabs at her foot. Bianca kicks Sonya away, then leaps.
But Sonya gets under, to BOOT Bianca down! Fans boo but Sonya mocks the “WOO~!” as Raw goes to break.
Raw returns again and Bianca has Sonya up in a stalling suplex! Bianca marches around before the SLAM! Bianca kips up, fans fire up, and Bianca handsprings to MOONSUALTÂ onto knees! Sonya runs in to BOOT Bianca, high stacks, TWO! Sonya is frustrated but Bianca is the toughEST for a reason. Sonya covers again, ONE! Fans rally for Bianca but Sonya drags Bianca around. Sonya steps through but Bianca kicks her away! Bianca torture racks, for the KISS OF DEATH!! Cover, Bianca wins!
Winner: Bianca Belair, by pinfall
Sonya kept trying to send a message to Charlotte and she lost focus on the champion in front of her! Will Sonya earn a title match losing like this?
As for Bianca, she gets a mic to say, “Hold on, hold on. Don’t even think I forgot about Alexa Bliss and the Royal Rumble. Because what I just did to Sonya, is only a preview of what I’m gonna do to Alexa Bliss. Because you know what? She can bring Uncle Howdy, Bray Wyatt, the Playhouse, the Funhouse, whoever, it don’t matter. Nobody and no one is gonna stop them from saying, ‘And still your Raw Women’s Champion, Bianca Belair!'” But then Bliss is on the tron! “Bianca. For the last time. I am your only obstacle. And if everyone would just leave me the hell alone, maybe I wouldn’t have to keep reminding you of that.”
Alexa doesn’t need Uncle Howdy or Bray Wyatt, or anyone to tear Bianca’s face open with her bare hands. But don’t worry, Alexa will spare Bianca’s eyes so she can watch Alexa walk away with the Raw Women’s Championship. A grim warning from Twisted Miss Bliss. Will Alexa make Bianca the scaredEST she’s ever been?
The story of Cody Rhodes’ return continues.
Five months ago, Cody started on his rehab. He wants to not only make his comeback at the Royal Rumble, he wants to win the Royal Rumble. It feels like it has taken 16 years to get to this point. Not only recovering from injury, but carrying the history of everywhere Cody has been. His first run in WWE, him leaving, and him returning. All the doubt, all the struggle, all the sacrifice, all the heartache. When you’re in the ring and in the moment, you know exactly why it’s working. He was born for this.
Cody is in the prime of his career, only to hit rock bottom. “No human being could’ve kept me from getting in that ring. I looked up at the lights enough, whether that be in the ring or on a table, ready to have surgery.” As his Nightmare Factory mantra says: Put in the work. The doctors know he has the determination to get back, but Cody has to respect nature of the human body. Cody wants us to picture that moment where you’re that close to success, to vindication. And for it to get broken, that was a legitimate knife to the heart.
But at the Royal Rumble, a torn pec, two torn pecs, torn quads, nothing short of his heart failing will stop him. Being in the ring is like oxygen, and Cody wants to breathe again. Cody is putting in the work, envisioning his return. He wants everyone to get off the mountain, because he has made it clear what he wants and why he is going to do it. The American Nightmare is just FIVE DAYS AWAY, will he make this the biggest comeback in WWE history?
WWE 2K23’s cover superstar is…
JOHN CENA! He’s worked to earn his place in WWE history, but has faced the agony of defeat. Will you beat Cena like they did? Or will you help Cena right history? Plus, as a pre-order bonus: BAD BUNNY!
The Miz is here!
And he doesn’t look happy. “Thirtieth anniversary of Monday Night Raw, one of the biggest nights in the history of the show, and where’s my MizTV?! Where’s my championship match?! Where’s my celebration of all of my amazingness that has happened? All of my moments on Monday Night Raw! I am the first-ever Grand Slam Champion in the history of this company, and I deserve!” Fans are cheering, but not for Miz! In comes KEVIN OWENS! Kevin turns Miz around for a STUNNER!! Well, that’ll be a highlight for the show. Kevin then grabs the mic out of Miz’s hand as fans chant for “KO! KO!”
Kevin tells Roman, “You might’ve said Sami Zayn is not guilty, but let me tell you what you are guilty of.” Roman is “guilty of having held the WWE Universal title hostage for over two years now!” But on Saturday, at the Royal Rumble, Kevin will give us his word, from everyone in the building and to everyone watching at home, that he will do everything he can to change that and take that title and give everyone a champion they can be proud of! Philly likes the sound of that! Kevin continues to say, “And I guarantee you, I will just keep fighting until I have nothing left. On Saturday, I’m taking that title from you, or I’m gonna die trying!”
Kevin throws down the mic, but Miz gets back up. STUNNER!! Miz is down, and Kevin has thrown down the gauntlet! Will Kevin #StunTheWorld and dethrone the Tribal Chief once and for all?
WWE United States Championship No Disqualifications: Austin Theory VS Bobby Lashley!
The Now of the WWE vows he is also the future and the forever of this title. But when going 1v1 against The All Mighty, will forever come to a quick end?
Raw returns as Lashley makes his entrance. The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and with nothing holding them back, we see what will be left of The Now!
The bell rings, Lashley powers Theory to a corner, then he fires off fists! And then he stomps a mudhole! Lashley digs his boot in, throws more hands, but Theory fights back. Theory headlocks, but Lashley SLAMS him down! And then clotheslines him out of the ring! Fans fire up as Lashley paces around. Lashley goes outside, drags Theory up and RAMS him into barriers! Fans fire up while Theory writhes. Lashley fireman’s carries Theory, and POSTS him! Philly fires up as Lashley stands tall, and Raw goes picture in picture.
Lashley drags Theory back up, clinches and RAMS him into more barriers! Theory staggers away, but Lashley follows after. Lashley clinches again, to RAM Theory into more barriers! Theory scrambles into the ring but Lashley pursues. Theory scrambles back out of the ring, but Lashley pursues. Theory goes under the ring, but Lashley drags him back out. Lashley THROWS Theory into more barriers! Lashley looms over Theory, drags him back up, and puts him back in the ring. Lashley takes his time returning while Philly fires up. Lashley stalks Theory to a corner, and Lashley throws back elbow after back elbow. Lashley then TOSSES Theory out of the ring!
Lashley goes outside, starts looking under the ring, and fans fire up. Lashley CLUBS Theory down, then goes back to look under the ring. Theory CLUBS Lashley in return! Theory goes to bump Lashley off the desk, but Lashley blocks that to ROCK Theory! Lashley pushes Theory against the barrier, then throws elbow after elbow! Fans fire up, getting closer to the action. Lashley brings Theory around and RAMS him into the barriers! Lashley then turns Theory around, for a NECKBREAKER to the floor! The ref checks Theory but he’s okay to continue. Lashley leaves Theory behind to bring out a TABLE! But Theory KNEES Lashley away!
Theory hears the fans fire up for the table, so he puts it back under the ring! Theory CLUBS Lashley, puts him in the ring, and goes to the apron. But Lashley gets up to CLUB Theory! Lashley brings Theory around to bump off buckles. Lashley whips corner to corner, then runs in to RAM into Theory! Raw returns to single picture as Lashley hits another NECKBREAKER! Fans rally behind Lashley as he stalks Theory. Lashley suplexes Theory, but Theory rakes eyes to get free! Theory goes to the apron, slingshots and SHOTGUNS Lashley down! Theory fisherman’s for the AOI SHOUDO! Cover, TWO! Theory rains down fists on Lashley in frustration!
Theory goes out, and he grabs a chair! Theory brings the chair into the ring, aims at Lashley, and SMACKS him on the back! Lashley writhes from the chairshot but Theory wedges the chair in the corner. Theory grins, goes back for Lashley, but Lashley TOSSES Theory to the apron! Theory stands up, Lashley ROCKS him! Lashley runs side to side to BLAST Theory to the floor! Lashley goes out but Theory trips him up! Lashley hits off the apron before falling to the floor! Theory drags Lashley up and in, then he goes looking under the ring. Fans want a table, and Theory brings one out! Theory puts the table in the ring, but goes after Lashley first.
Lashley gets around, HURT LOCK! Theory goes for the buckles but Lashley lets go in time! Lashley then drags Theory out to roll up, TWO! Lashley clinches, COMPLETE SHOT! Theory flounders, Lashley drags him up, and Lashley RAMS Theory into the chair! The chair goes flying, Theory flops out to the floor! Fans fire up as Lashley sets up that table Theory brought in! The table is standing in the corner, Lashley fetches Theory. Theory crawls under the ring, Lashley drags him back out, but Theory BLASTS Lashley with the fire extinguisher! Theory RAMS Lashley into steel steps! Philly boos as Theory stands tall, and Raw goes picture in picture.
Lashley writhes on the ground while Theory grits his teeth. Theory soaks up the heat from the fans before he goes looking for more things to use. Theory brings out another table, and he puts that one in the ring. Theory sets this table up in the other corner, leaning it against the buckles. Then he goes back to BLAST Lashley with more fire extinguisher spray! Lashley sputters and staggers away but Theory goes after him. Theory puts Lashley in the ring, soaks up more heat from Philly, and then stalks Lashley. Theory brings Lashley up, throws hands, then headlocks to bring Lashley around. Theory whips, but Lashley blocks!
Lashley throws hands to then whip Theory! Theory stops himself from hitting the table, and he kicks Lashley to throw him back out. Theory soaks up more heat from the fans, and says, “It’s MY time!” Theory goes out after Lashley, but Lashley blocks the bump off the steps. Lashley throws haymakers, then puts Theory back in the ring. Lashley stalks Theory, but Theory dropkicks Lashley’s legs out! And hits a DDT! Theory grins as he goes to the apron. Theory talks trash on Philly, climbs up the corner, but Lashley ROCKS him first! Lashley climbs up, throws more hands, and then brings Theory up.
Theory resists, Lashley throws more hands, and Raw returns to single picture. Fans fire up as Lashley hits a SUPERPLEX! Both men are down and Philly fires up. Lashley throws hands, Theory throws them back. They go back and forth, Lashley blocks a kick to ELBOW, and then gut wrench! Canadian Rack, DOMINATOR! Lashley waits on Theory to get up, then runs in. But Theory KICKS the spear away! Theory fireman’s carries, but Lashley slips off! HURT LOCK!! Theory flails, but MULE KICK LOW BLOWS! Theory grins as he brings Lashley up, but Lashley hits a MILE HIGH SPINEBUSTERÂ through the table!!
BUT WAIT! BROCK LESNAR IS HERE?!? The Beast is grinning ear to ear, because Lashley was wrong! Lashley and Lesnar are NOT done, and Lesnar storms right into the ring! Lesnar hauls Lashley up, F5!! Lesnar drags Theory up, to F5 him ONTO LASHLEY! Cover, Theory wins!!!
Winner: Austin Theory, by pinfall (still WWE United States Champion)
Lesnar screws Lashley all over again! And Theory is again the one who benefits from it all! Is Theory really The Now if he keeps getting lucky? And are we going to see Lashley VS Lesnar at the Royal Rumble again?
My Thoughts:
This was a great episode for Raw, though not as epic as they wanted us to think. The steel cage match turning into a steel cage beatdown was lame, but word is they had to cut it to that because, being that this is live television, the opening segment went long and other segments couldn’t be sacrificed. In all fairness, the Tribal Court also being an adjustment because members of the Anoa’i family couldn’t make the trip, they probably didn’t have the timing worked out. But it was still a great segment that really added some depth to this story with Sami and the Bloodline. Jey stepping up to defend Sami was such a great move.
The Raw Tag Team Championship match was also awesome stuff, especially with the substitute move like we got out of Judgment Day’s match in the tag gauntlet. Kevin and Miz was so short, I almost feel like it wasn’t really needed, but I suppose Kevin needs to say something in response to Roman making a big deal out of grilling Sami. And Miz in character really would be upset he got snubbed on Raw 30. Sami’s final test is definitely about whether or not he can screw over Kevin the same way The Bloodline has screwed over every other challenger Roman has faced. Sami will have a bigger internal conflict than any time before, who knows what we’ll see.
Good stuff with JBL, Corbin and the legends. I like that the legends had no idea who Corbin was, but of course they responded to him having fat stacks of cash. And Corbin winning the last hand only to be shafted by IRS was hilarious. Great stuff out of LA Knight, Bray Wyatt and Taker. American Badass Taker showing up was a huge surprise in itself, and while he didn’t quite get the motorcycle out smoothly, that was minor compared to how great it was to see him and Bray in the ring together again. Now, we still don’t know what to expect from the Pitch Black match, but at this point, even with go-home math in his favor, I don’t see Knight winning.
We got a hilarious segment out of DX and Angle. I was just waiting for them to realize Angle was even there, and Angle having the DX shirt and a ref shirt was great stuff. And of course we had to bring Teddy Long out to make a match. Though, Teddy was the SmackDown GM when he did that… Well, anyway, great Six Man Tag out of Rollins & Profits VS Imperium, and as the Raw superstars and Faces, it makes sense for Rollins & Profits to win. That adds some hype to what we’ll see in the Royal Rumble match, and what we could one day see out of Rollins VS Gunther 1v1 in the future. And great vignette from Cody to further hype his return. At this rate, is he going to enter #1?
Great promo from Charlotte, Bianca and Sonya, and really good match out of Bianca VS Sonya. Bianca winning makes sense, and of course we heard from Alexa. If Bianca stood tall here, go-home math suggests something could happen to help Alexa win. At the same time, with them still making the fuss over Uncle Howdy possibly being behind Alexa, this is still going to come down to that. Uncle Howdy could be why Alexa loses, but also why Alexa wins, and they can tell a story from there. As for Sonya, she could still be Charlotte’s challenger for the Rumble, or she just gets in the Rumble to see if she can go to Mania.
Good promo from MVP and Lashley to further tease the return of Hurt Business. And while we got a great main event out of Lashley VS Theory, I could not believe Lesnar showed up to screw Lashley over again. I suppose Lesnar VS Lashley had to happen one more time to finish the series, but I thought it’d be more a WrestleMania thing than a Royal Rumble thing. But at the same time, if Lashley had won the title here, it’d be hard to give a reason for why Lesnar wouldn’t want the title. Well, the obvious reason is that Lesnar is so far above title, he just wants money for the big events. So whatever, we’ll get Lesnar VS Lashley Round 3, the final round, and Lashley will still have an open Mania card.
My Score: 8.7/10
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Is Orange Cassidy coldblooded? Or just in control?
Before their AEW World Championship match at Full Gear, Jon Moxley puts Wheeler Yuta in Orange Cassidy’s way! Will Cassidy destroy The Decoder before going for The Maniac?
OFFICIAL RESULTS
- 8 Man Tag: Will Ospreay, Mark Davis, Ricochet & “Powerhouse” Will Hobbs VS The Don Callis Family; The Don Callis Family wins.
- Kris Statlander VS Hikaru Shida; Kris wins.
- 2v1 Handicap: Bobby Lashley w/ The Hurt Syndicate VS Joe Keys & Cheeseburger; Lashley wins.
- Darby Allin VS Claudio Castagnoli; Claudio wins.
- Orange Cassidy VS Wheeler Yuta w/ The Death Riders; Cassidy wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
8 Man Tag: Will Ospreay, Mark Davis, Ricochet & “Powerhouse” Will Hobbs VS The Don Callis Family!
This All-Star 8 Man is going to make for a massive match! The Aerial Assassin, Dunk Zilla, The One & Only and the man the family foolishly forgot are now teamed together against Konosuke Takeshita, Kyle Fletcher, Brian Cage & Lance Archer! Will Ospreay lead this team to victory ahead of the grudge matches at Full Gear? Or will Callis’ Alpha, Aussie Arrow, Machine & Murderhawk Monster make sure #EverybodyDies?
Well forget sorting out, Ospreay leads his team in attacking the Callis Family right on the ramp! The fans fire up as Hobbs is after Archer, Davis is after Cage, and of course Ricochet is after Konosuke while Ospreay is after Kyle! Hobbs smacks Archer off railing, Kyle CLUBS Ospreay on the back, but Ospreay kicks low. Ospreay sends Kyle into railing, rips the tearaway pants right off him, and then LASHES him with them! Davis sends Cage into railing while Ospreay uses those pants to SLING Kyle into more railing! Davis CLUBS away on Cage, Ospreay blows snot on Kyle’s pants, and Davis sends Cage into more railing.
Kyle turns things around to send Ospreay into railing! Konosuke helps Cage against Davis but Hobbs still throws hands on Archer. Kyle CLUBS Ospreay, CLUBS Ricochet, but Konosuke puts Davis in the ring. The bell rings and this is finally a match. Konosuke headlocks Davis but Davis fires body shots. Davis powers up and out, but Konosuke RAMS him! The fans fire up as Davis stays up. Davis runs to RAM Konosuke! Konosuke stays up and the fans rally. Konosuke runs to RAM Davis, but Davis runs. Konosuke bypasses, leaps, but Davis catches him for a TOSS! And a SENTON! The fans fire up with Davis, and Ricochet reaches out.
Davis tags Ricochet in , then holds the way open, for Ricochet to FOSBURY FLOP onto Konosuke! But Cage CLOBBERS Davis! Cage then RAMS Ricochet into the apron, POSTS him, but Ospreay PENALTY KICKS Cage! The fans fire up as Ospreay goes up, but Kyle UPPERCUTS him! The fans boo as Kyle goes up, CLUBS away on Ospreay, and Ospreay falls to the floor. But now Hobbs is up! Kyle says wait! Then he fires hands! Hobbs just CHOPS Kyle! Hobbs climbs up to get Kyle, but Archer CLUBS Hobbs! Archer drags Hobbs down, throws hands, then puts Hobbs in between steps and post! Hobbs fights back, but Cage sends Ospreay into the steps!
The fans boo as Hobbs’ leg is crushed between steps and post! Archer puts Ricochet in the ring while a medic checks Hobbs. Archer brings Ricochet up but Ricochet slips free to fire off fast strikes! Hobbs is being helped to the back and Ospreay is concerned that this is now 4v3. Ricochet still fires strikes on Archer, but Archer grabs Ricochet by the neck! CHOKE- NO, Ricochet RANAS Archer first! Archer tumbles, stands up, and Ricochet springboards, but Archer CLOBBERS Him out of the sky! Archer BLASTS Davis, then catches Ospreay out of the air! Archer TOSSES Ospreay away and fans boo. But Ricochet springboards back in!
Archer catches Ricochet, and he CHOKE SLAMS Ricochet out onto Ospreay and Davis! The fans boo as the Don Callis Family is in control, and Dynamite goes picture in picture.
Cage & Kyle flex to soak up the heat, then Archer goes out after Ospreay and the rest. Konosuke fetches Ricochet into the ring, waistlocks, and then brings him away from the corner. Archer beats up on Ospreay while Konosuke fires knees into Ricochet. Ricochet tumbles to ropes but Konosuke is on him. Davis fires hands on Archer, then sends him into railing! Davis fires more hands, but Konosuke CHOKES Ricochet at the ropes! The ref counts, Konosuke steps off and tags Kyle. Kyle stays between Ricochet and his corner. Kyle taunts Ricochet, stomps him around, then whips him to ropes. Kyle ELBOWS Ricochet down, then stalks him to a corner.
Kyle stomps away on Ricochet while Archer intimidates commentary. Kyle shouts at the camera while the ref counts, and Kyle steps off of Ricochet’s neck. Kyle bumps Ricochet off buckles, tags Cage, and Cage stands Ricochet up. Cage CHOPS Ricochet, then whips him to ropes for an ELBOW! Cage flexes while he taunts Ospreay & Davis. Cage drags Ricochet up but Ricochet RAMS him! And RAMS him! And fires forearms! Cage ROCKS Ricochet, then runs, but into a tiger wall kick and ENZIGIRI! Konosuke tags in and storms after Ricochet. Konosuke stomps Ricochet, then rains down fists! The ref reprimands while Dynamite returns to single picture.
Konosuke argues with the ref while Ospreay rallies the fans. Konosuke stays between Ricochet and his team, but Ricochet SLAPS Konosuke! Konosuke ROCKS Ricochet for it! Ricochet fires forearms and an UPPERCUT! Konosuke keeps Ricochet from his corner, reels Ricochet in, but Ricochet victory rolls! TWO, and Ricochet ducks a chop to handspring BACK ELBOW! The fans fire up while both men are down! Ricochet and Konosuke crawl, hot tags to Kyle and Ospreay! The fans fire up as these two fire fists and forearms! Kyle kicks and whips but Ospreay ducks ‘n’ dodges to CLOBBER Kyle!
Ospreay whips, Kyle reverses, Ospreay handsprings to NEURALIZER KICK! Kyle staggers, Konosuke tags back in! Ospreay dodges Konosuke to BLAST Cage & Archer! Ospreay fires fists on Konosuke, but Konosuke CLAWS Ospreay’s face! Konosuke runs, but Davis intercepts with a fireman’s carry! AUSSIE DENTAL PLAN! Or maybe in this case, just a United Empire Dental Plan! But in any case, Davis scoops Konosuke, for the LAWN DART CUTTER! Cover, TWO!! Konosuke survives but the fans fire up. Ospreay & Davis bring Konosuke up, double pump handle, but the #MurderMachines make the save!
Archer puts Davis in a corner, Cage ducks Ospreay’s haymaker to waistlock. Archer runs up, BOOT GERMAN SUPLEX COMBO! Davis fires hands on Archer but Cage waistlocks, ripcords, and ROCKS Davis! Then fireman’s carry into the ASSISTED NECKBREAKER! The fans boo but the Murder Machines DOUBLE RIPCORD Ospreay up for Konosuke’s BLUE THUNDER BOMB!! Cover, TWO!! Ospreay survives and shocks everyone! Archer argues with the ref but the count was fair. Konosuke tags Kyle while fans rally up behind Ospreay. Kyle smirks as he stalks Ospreay. Kyle BOOTS Ricochet off the apron for good measure!
Kyle tells Ospreay that this is how he wants it, right? All about Ospreay! Kyle stomps away on Ospreay in the corner, then digs his boots in! The ref counts but wait! Here comes Hobbs! Hobbs hobbles but Kyle hurries to send Ospreay to the Callis corner. Tag to Konosuke and then Kyle slides out. Kyle runs up on Hobbs, but Hobbs CLOBBERS him! The fans fire up as Hobbs makes his way to the corner. Ospreay fights free of the corner but Konosuke holds him back! Ospreay fires forearms, reaches out, repeat! The fans rally as hard as they can, but Konosuke reels Ospreay in! Konosuke hits a back suplex, but Ospreay lands out!
Ospreay dodges Konosuke, hot tag to Hobbs! The Powerhouse powers up to rally on Konosuke! The fans fire up as Hobbs TOSSES Kyle, but the Murder Machines attack! They reel Hobbs in, but Hobbs fights the double suplex! The fans fire up but the Murder Machines double whip. Hobbs DOUBLE LARIATS! The fans fire up as Hobbs has targets in all corners! SPLASH for Konosuke! SPLASH for Cage! SPLASH for Kyle! SPLASH for Archer! The fans are thunderous and Hobbs brings the straps down. Archer kicks low, then runs, but Hobbs dodges, to SNAP POWERSLAM! The fans fire up again, and Hobbs tags Davis!
Davis runs up to BOOT Konosuke, BOOT him again, but Konosuke just fires up! Ospreay CANNONBALLS onto Kyle while Konosuke fires hands! Konosuke spins, but Davis DECKS him! Davis roars, stands Konosuke up, but Konosuke backdrops back! POWER- NO, Davis stops the knee to ENZIGIRI! Davis gut wrenches Konosuke, for a PILEDRIVER!! Cover, KYLE BREAKS IT! The fans boo but now Aussie Open is face to face! Kyle pie faces Davis, talks trash, but Davis glares at him. Kyle SLAPS Davis, so Davis TACKLES Kyle! Davis throws hands, Kyle gets up, and Davis runs up! Kyle dodges and Konosuke DECKS Davis!
Ricochet springboards, FLYING LARIAT on Konosuke! But Cage POP-UP POWERBOMBS Ricochet! Hobbs SPINEBUSTERS Cage! Archer CHOKE SLAMS Hobbs! Ospreay hits the PIP PIP CHEERIO FOREARM on Archer! Ospreay dares Kyle to man up and fight him! Kyle snarls, gets in, and they fire forearms again! Kyle swings, Ospreay catches him, but Kyle breaks the full nelson with an elbow! Ospreay HOOK KICKS Kyle! Ospreay runs, Kyle dodges, but then Ospreay slips through the lariat! Kyle slips through the bomb, hoists Ospreay up, but Ospreay slips free! Kyle ducks the hook kick to SUPERKICK! Kyle runs, into the SPANISH FLY!!
The fans are thunderous as Ospreay takes aim from a corner! Kyle rises, so does Davis, and Ospreay runs up, Kyle uses Davis as a shield from the HIDDEN BLADE!! Ospreay freaks out, Kyle SUPERKICKS Ospreay out of the ring! Then Kyle DIVES onto Ospreay! Konosuke brings down his kneepad, aims at Davis, POWER DRIVE KNEE!!! Cover, Don Callis Family wins!!
Winners: The Don Callis Family, by pinfall
The Alpha stands tall over Davis as friendly fire takes out Ospreay’s team. But what happens when things divide into 1v1 matches? Will Konosuke still be International Champion after he and Ricochet go #OuttaThisWorld? Will Kyle prove that he IS The Protostar after tearing down Will Ospreay?
Jon Moxley & The Death Riders speak.
“Despite recent discoveries that Orange Cassidy is a snake, coldblooded, uncaring, unmoving, a serpent lurking in the darkest corners of the battlefield, my objective remains the same, my job on Saturday night remains the same. You may be this borderline sociopath, you may be a great guy just like everybody thinks. I don’t care if you’re a great guy. I don’t care what kind of person you are. When the bell rings on Saturday night, and the AEW World Championship hangs in the balance, you are a threat to my people. And I will destroy you.
“There’s so much more going on behind Orange Cassidy’s eyes than any of us could’ve imagined. You may make it to Full Gear with your mind in tact, but your body… For that matter, Darby Allin’s body… Still up for grabs.” Claudio jumps in, speaking in German about what he’ll do to Darby. Then in English, he says, “Tonight, I’m gonna end you.” Moxley pats Claudio on the shoulder. Will The Maniac’s top henchmen do his dirty work for him when they dismantle Cassidy & Darby? Or will it just be fuel on the fire for Freshly Squeezed & The Relentless One? Speaking of…
Darby Allin speaks.
“Claudio, I’m gonna keep this really short. Let’s not forget you’re the one who put the chair around Bryan’s neck and pulled the trigger on his career. Every single one of you Death Riders will have your day. And Claudio, today’s your day.” Will Moxley’s men be dealt with in brutal fashion before he suffers the same?
The Hurt Syndicate arrive.
Renee Paquette waits in the parking lot as an SUV pulls up, and she welcomes Montel Vontavious Porter, Shelton Benjamin & Bobby Lashley to the show. She heard MVP has a surprise in store, what’s he got planned? MVP says yes, there is a special treat for the AEW audience, and that is this announcement: The All Mighty Bobby Lashley will be in action here tonight on Dynamite in Reading, Pennsylvania, prior to his PPV debut on Saturday! Renee asks if MVP is at all concerned to put Lashley in a match- OH NO, Swerve attacks!! Swerve knocks Lashley over, then laughs as he gets away!
Shelton helps Lashley up but that ambush might’ve been with Swerve’s own silver chain. Will Lashley elect not to compete tonight after all? Or is he about to make an example out of whatever poor soul is put in front of him?
Adam Cole is here!
Reading fires up as the Panama City Playboy makes his way to the ring. They join in with the “BOOM!” and “ADAM COLE, BAYBAY!” Cole grabs a mic to ask, “Who’s ready for Storytime with Adam Cole, Baybay?” Reading sure is ready! Cole wishes so so badly that he could get his hands on MJF this Saturday, but he’s not. MJF did everything in his power to make sure he and Cole didn’t fight on Saturday, and he succeeded. But do you know who else succeeded last week? Roderick Strong did! The fans cheer as Cole says he and Roddy have the exact same goal: Give MJF the ass whooping of a lifetime! And that is exactly what happens at Full Gear!
The fans cheer, and wait, Kyle O’Reilly makes his way out here. The longtime friend of Cole & Roddy makes his way out here, and already has a mic. Kyle isn’t sure if Cole remembers, but 14 years ago, right here in Reading, PA, Cole and Kyle had their second match ever against each other. They’ve come a long way. Being associated with Cole has given Kyle some incredible highs, and some serious lows. And through those lows, Kyle knows Cole better than anyone. Which makes Kyle the only one willing to tell Cole the truth. The truth is, this crusade against MJF has got to end before someone gets hurt.
This obsession, Cole needs to wash his hands of it. His ankle has already been reconstructed, what’s next? Cole has friends willing to take a bullet for him, Kyle included, but Cole has got to stop having his friends fight his battles. Roddy barely makes it out alive last week, and now he wants to fight MJF! He wants to END MJF, all because of Cole. Kyle just doesn’t have a good feeling about any of this. Cole asks Kyle what he’s trying to say here. Kyle doesn’t think Roddy can handle MJF? Kyle asks Cole if he really thinks MJF isn’t already three steps ahead. MJF hasn’t been here for weeks but he’s pulling all the strings.
Cole should know that dealing with MJF is like playing with fire, and Kyle doesn’t wanna see his friends get burned. Cole needs to realize why so many of his friends are willing to go to war for him, and it’s because he is a great leader, an elite pro-wrestler, and a great friend, who doesn’t wanna see his friends get hurt. At least, so Kyle thinks. But Cole has to face facts: MJF is more of an evil bastard than Cole will ever be, and that is a good thing. Kyle drops his mic and walks away. Cole drops his mic, and has a lot to think about. Does Kyle have a point? Can Cole just let Roddy handle MJF and then move on?
Orange Cassidy speaks.
“A little later tonight, I’m gonna make an example out of you, Wheeler Yuta. And I’m gonna show everybody exactly what I’m gonna do this Saturday to you, Jon Moxley. And that’s walk down to that ring and beat you, alone.” But The Conglomeration steps in. Mark Briscoe has Rocky Romero & Tomohiro Ishii with him as he asks Cassidy, “What sense does that make, man?” Moxley said himself, there’s five Death Riders, one Cassidy. Conglomeration has his back, they are here for him. Cassidy says no, no one else needs to get hurt. Get hurt? What’s Cassidy talking about? The Conglomeration are ready to scrap!
PLEASE!! Cassidy is asking them… They don’t have to believe him or even understand him. But just promises him they’ll stay back here. If Cassidy insists, then so be it. Cassidy says there you have it, Jon. Five of you, one of him. Do what you’re gonna do. Because at Full Gear, Moxley’s gonna need all the help he can get. Cassidy is himself wanting the best for his friends, but will that work out for the betterment of AEW? Or is he just playing into Moxley’s hands?
Kris Statlander VS Hikaru Shida!
The #BornAgainKristen bodied the bullies that are Mercedes Mone & Kamille the last time she saw them, but she still needs to tune up for Full Gear. However, taking on the THREE-TIME AEW Women’s World Champion might be more than just a workout. Win, lose or draw, will the Shining Samurai get Kris ready for The CEO?
The bell rings, Kris and Shida shake hands and the fans applaud. The two circle, tie up, and Kris wrenches to a wristlock. Shida handsprings and wrenches back, then hammerlocks. Kris reaches back, hits a headlock takeover, but Shida headscissors. Kris kips free and the fans cheer while the two reset. Shida and Kris circle again while the fans fire up. The two tie up, Shida wrenches and hammerlocks, then CLUBS Kris on the back. Shida CLUBS Kris again, then waistlocks. Kris fights the lift with elbows, then switches. Kris SLAMS Shida, then flips her over. Shida kips up to arm-drag Kris! Kris ends up in a corner, and Shida runs up to KNEE her!
Shida climbs up and the fans cheer as she rains down fists! But Kris stops Shida at 5 and carries her out of the corner! Shida slips free, Kris blocks a lariat to SWEEP the leg! STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Shida is tough and she goes to ropes, but Kris whips her to a corner. Kris runs up but into a RANA! Kris cartwheels through! Then she CLOBBERS Shida! The fans fire up while Kris flexes. Kris drags Shida into a motorcycle stretch but Shida endures. The fans rally up and Shida fights to her feet. Shida arm-drags Kris down, and wraps her in a straitjacket stretch! Kris fights up with a bridge, but Shida hops on!
The fans rally while Kris RAMS Shida into a corner! Shida holds onto the straitjacket and pulls! The ref counts, Shida lets go at 4, and then MISSILE DROPKICKS! Kris tumbles and the fans duel as Shida fires up! Shida goes outside, drags Kris to the apron, and CLUBS her! Shida runs to KNEE LIFT! Kris flops to the floor and fans cheer while Dynamite goes picture in picture.
Shida brings Kris up again, and whips her into railing hard! Kris writhes, Shida drags her up, and then Shida whips Kris into more railing! Kris writhes again and Shida refreshes the ring count. Shida sits Kris in a corner to rain down fists! The fans fire up but the ref reprimands, so Shida stops. Shida brings Kris around, pushes her into the ring, and then stalks her. Shida stomps Kris around, brings her up, and snap suplexes! Kris writhes but Shida brings her up again. Shida then snap suplexes Kris into a corner! Shida drags Kris to a cover, TWO! Kris stays in this but Shida stays on her with a chinlock stretch!
Kris endures being bent back, and she reaches out with her free arm. Shida pulls back more but Kris rises up! Shida is again a backpack, but then she slips down. Kris fires body shots, slips around and lifts for a BIG back suplex! Kris huffs ‘n’ puffs as she rises up, but then Shida dodges the sliding forearm! Ghost pin! TWO, and Kris has a cradle! TWO! Shida ROCKS Kris, but Kris PELES! Shida staggers, but she comes back to ENZIGIRI! Both women are down and the fans fire up! The ref checks both women and they’re okay to continue, so a standing count begins. Shida and Kris stir at about 4 of 10, then rise up at 6.
Kris grabs Shida, but Shida fires a forearm! Dynamite returns to single picture as the shots go back and forth. Shida fires a flurry, then whips Kris to ropes. Kris ducks ‘n’ dodges, then dodges a knee! SNAP POWERSLAM! The fans fire up with Kris as she whips Shida to a corner. Kris runs up to UPPERCUT, then she goes side to side for a KNEE LIFT! Shida ends up in ropes but Kris reels her in. Fisherman BUSTER! Cover, TWO! Shida survives and the fans fire up again! Kris hoists Shida up, gut wrenches, but Shida slips free! DOUBLE LARIATS collide! Shida eggs Kris on, then dodges her to fire forearms! Kris just shakes her head!
Shida fires more shots, but Kris fireman’s carries! But Shida slips free, straitjacket roll-up! TWO!! KNEE STRIKE! And then short arm LARIAT! Shida takes aim, but she starts to doubt the Katana! Shida runs up but Kris dodges the boot to then scoop and INVERTED SLAM! Then Kris aims, DISCUS- NO, Shida backslides her! TWO!! Shida reels Kris in, suplexes, FALCON ARROW! Cover, TWO?!? Kris survives and Shida is shocked! Shida brings Kris up but Kris fires body shots and forearms! Shida ROCKS Kris, but Kris wrenches to kick! Kris runs, but into the JUMP KNEE! Shida hurries to suplex, but Kris turns it around!
Shida slips out of Kris’ suplex to slip around, GERMAN SUPLEX! Shida roars, aims, KATA- NO, Kris gut wrenches! Tuck and STATURDAY NIGHT FEVER!! Cover, Kris wins!!
Winner: Kris Statlander, by pinfall
Shida gave Kris a powerful match, but clearly Shida has to iron out her own crisis of confidence. Kris still shows Shida respect by helping her up. But wait, here comes Mercedes Mone & Kamille! The fans boo The CEO & Brickhouse but Mone has a mic. “Readiiiiing~! Say hello to your C E O!” The fans boo instead. Mone asks Kamille if she wants to hear a fun fact about Pennsylvania. The 76ers have had yet another terrible season! Embarrassing~! But shoutouts to Mone’s Celtics for another incredible victory. The fans boo Boston but Mone says another person with an incredible win was Kris Statlander. Mone is rarely impressed by her competition.
Does anyone else want to hear another fun fact? “NO!!” Well, Mone has held the TBS Championship longer than Kris! So at Full Gear, Mone will NOT lose, because she is The CEO, the greatest TBS Champion of all time! And she will NEVER lose this title! Fans tell The CEO to STFU, but Mone tells Kamille go get the job done! She is so pissed off! GO! NOW! Kamille walks up the steps past Mone, but with only one good arm! Mone says hurry up, but Kamille looks at both Shida and Kris. Kamille takes as swing, but Kris blocks to ROCK her! Shida QUESTION MARK KICKS Kamille! Then Kris & Shida TOSS The Brickhouse!
Shida goes out after Kamille, but then Mone goes after Kris! Mone goes for the backstabber, but Kris holds onto ropes! Mone is almost stuck up there, but Kris pops her around! STATURDAY NIGHT FEVER!! The fans fire up as Kris stands tall over The CEO! Will Kris once again become the Face of TBS? Or will Mone find a way to win even without her insurance policy?
The Hurt Syndicate has a cameraman with them.
MVP says hold on, he and Shelton have found Swerve. They go after the man in the big fur jacket, but that’s not Swerve! Swerve gave his jacket to the guy, but MVP & Shelton still beat this guy up for helping Swerve. MVP says they’ll find Swerve later, Lashley has his match up next. And it’ll be a 2-on-1 Handicap?! The All Mighty really IS mad, what poor duo is about to be destroyed?
AEW hears from Jay White and Hangman Adam Page.
“Hangman. You and I are on that same path to that same destination, trying to grasp at that same prize. 2024 still has some time left for The Switchblade to share the spotlight with Hangman once more!” But the Blackhat Cowboy asks White if he knows “Who the hell I am?! I am the Hangman! I am THE man! They named this whole godforsaken PPV after ME!” White says when he makes Hangman TAP, it will be a public declaration! But Hangman says White can’t make him tap, even if his life depended on it! These two vicious gunslingers will write one more chapter in their storied rivalry, but who comes out riding off into the sunset?
2v1 Handicap: Bobby Lashley w/ The Hurt Syndicate VS Joe Keys & Cheeseburger!
The All Mighty thought he’d have an easy night getting in a little warm-up, but The Realest quickly reminded him why he’s the most dangerous man in AEW! Lashley’s now doubling down to make a point, will there be nothing left of Keys & Cheese after tonight?
The bell rings and while the fans rally for Cheeseburger, he and Keys each argue the other should start. Lashley runs up and TOSSES Burger across the ring! Keys runs away, Lashley runs to RAM into Burger! Lashley brings Burger up, Keys runs in, but Lashley catches him for a COMPLETE SHOT DDT COMBO! Lashley drags Keys up and TOSSES him out! Lashley then turns to look at Burger in the corner. The fans rally for Burger, but Lashley CLOBBERS him! The fans boo but MVP & Shelton high-five Lashley. Lashley drags Burger up to gut wrench, Canadian Rack, and DOMINATOR! Keys runs in to break the cover!
The fans cheer Keys as he fires hands, but Lashley just gets angrier! Keys short arm LARIATS, but Lashley stays up! Keys runs, into a MILE HIGH SPINEBUSTER! Lashley storms around, then aims at Keys. Keys staggers into the SPEAR! Lashley isn’t done there, and he clamps on the HURT LOCK! Keys can’t open that lock, he is OUT! Lashley wins!
Winner: Bobby Lashley, by submission
MVP & Shelton join Lashley in the ring to celebrate, but then “Whose House?” “SWERVE’S HOUSE!” The fans fire up, and here comes Prince Nana with a chair! Nana eggs the Hurt Syndicate on so Shelton storms out after Nana. MVP watches the rest of ringside for Swerve, but Swerve slides out from under the ring! The fans fire up as Swerve slips in to CHAIN PUNCH Lashley!! MVP gets on the apron but Swerve DECKS MVP with a chain punch! And then Shelton eats a chain punch! The fans are thunderous as Swerve aims, and hits a HOUSE CALL on Lashley! Swerve hurries to the top rope, and he gives Lashley a KILL STOMP!!
The fans are thunderous as Swerve stands over Lashley! MVP & Shelton get up and get in, but Swerve escapes, chain draped on his neck! Will AEW then, now and forever be whose house? “SWERVE’S HOUSE!”
Backstage interview with Mariah May & Mina Shirakawa.
Renee is now with the AEW Women’s World Champion and her best friend, the Rev-Pro Undisputed British Women’s Champion. They are planning their Championship Champagne Celebration for Full Gear, BUT Friday Night Rampage will feature the two of them teaming up for the first time in just over a year. Mariah says no champion deserves a celebration more than her. Her rise to the top was meteoric, and her reign will be historic. She takes ish and makes it shine, any time and any show, against anyone. In Mariah’s division, you hold this title, or you die.
Mina says yes, Mariah has been working so hard. She came back to tell her she is so very proud. And Mina will give Mariah a celebration she’ll never forget! Mariah says the “H Cup Angel” (Mina) and the “Woman from Hell” (Mariah herself) are going to make Rampage into Glampage. Everyone wants Mina, but Mina wants Mariah. And then… They’ll dance! These two shimmy and shake their way out, will they finally be toasting their victories at Full Gear?
Darby Allin VS Claudio Castagnoli w/ The Death Riders!
The Relentless One told The Swiss Superman that revenge was coming, and here is Darby’s chance! Will Darby avenge Bryan Danielson? Or will he just be the next to fall?
The bell rings and Darby stares Claudio down. Darby takes some deep breaths then circles with Claudio. Darby slips around to waistlock but Claudio flings him off, only for Darby to roll to his feet. They circle again, and the fans rally behind Darby. Darby and Claudio feel things out, tie up, and Darby headlocks. Claudio lifts Darby but Darby thrashes the hold. Claudio throws Darby off, runs up, but Darby uses that to get around and springboard arm-drag! The fans fire up while Claudio bails out, and Darby taunts Claudio with some drop steps. Claudio snarls, but then Darby fakes him out with a slingshot!
Claudio is annoyed and takes a swing but Darby slingshots up and over! Darby taunts Claudio again while the fans rally up. Claudio cools off before he storms up the steel steps. Claudio pops Darby up but Darby keeps from hitting buckles! Darby ELBOWS Claudio away, goes up, then leaps, but Claudio catches him! Claudio SLAMS Darby down, flips him back to his feet, but Darby slips around to waistlock. O’Conner Roll, TWO! Darby springboards to SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Claudio bails out but the fans fire up. Darby goes up a corner, and he SUPER COFFIN SPLASHES into a waistlock! Claudio swings and THROWS Darby away!
Darby staggers to his feet but Claudio runs up, to POUNCE Darby into railing! Darby writhes against the railing, but Claudio runs up to UPPERCUT Darby up and over! Fans freak out as Darby hits the floor! Claudio leaves Darby behind while the ring count climbs, but Darby drags himself up at 7. Claudio goes back out after Darby to suplex! Claudio holds Darby up while he marches up the steps! The fans fire up for this feat of strength and balance, and then Claudio TOSSES Darby back into the ring! Darby writhes again while Claudio steps back in. Claudio stalks Darby, talks some trash, and Dynamite goes picture in picture.
Claudio looms over Darby, then deadlift gut wrenches for a GUTBUSTER! And then another GUTBUSTER! And then another GUTBUSTER! Darby writhes while Claudio stands over him again. Claudio watches Darby crawl towards a corner and stalks him. Claudio drags Darby up, brings him around, and ROCKS Darby with a forearm! Darby pushes Claudio, then CHOPS! Claudio DECKS Darby! Darby tumbles out of the ring! The ref wants Claudio to stay back while Darby drags himself up. Darby is back in before the count starts, but then Claudio DOUBLE STOMPS him! Claudio kicks Darby around, then clamps on with a neck wrench!
Darby endures, fights up, but Claudio powers him down. Darby BITES Claudio’s hand! The ref reprimands but Darby fires off forearms on Claudio. Claudio HIP TOSSES Darby up and out of the ring! Darby hits the floor and flounders around while the ref reprimands Claudio. Claudio again waits on Darby, and then he DOUBLE STOMPS Darby the moment he’s in! The ref counts as Claudio stands on Darby at the ropes. Claudio steps off at 4, brings him around, and clamps on an armlock and chinbar. Darby endures, fights around, and manages to fireman’s carry Claudio! But Claudio rains down elbows! HAMMER ‘N’ ANVIL even!
Claudio clamps on with a double wristlock and he grinds Darby down. Darby still endures and the fans rally up again. Darby fights around and Dynamite returns to single picture. Darby fires body shots but Claudio knees low! Claudio then HIP TOSSES Darby into a corner! Darby tumbles out of the ring but Claudio pursues! Claudio SWINGS Darby into railing! Then Claudio fireman’s carries, to TOSS Darby back in the ring! Claudio storms in while Darby flounders away. Darby flops back out of the ring but Claudio pursues him again. Darby trips Claudio up and traps him in the apron skirt! Darby then fires forearms, and BITES Claudio’s ear!
The fans fire up but Claudio shoves Darby away. Darby slides into the ring then DIVES onto Claudio! And then runs to DIVE again! Down goes Claudio and the fans fire up! Darby crawls over to bring Claudio up and into the ring. The fans fire up as Darby climbs up a corner, though slowly given all the damage to his back. That lets Claudio trip Darby up! Darby is stuck up top, and Claudio climbs up after him. Claudio gut wrenches for a SUPER GUT WRENCH PLEX!! Cover, TWO!! Darby survives and Claudio can’t believe it! The fans fire up but Claudio calls for the swing! Claudio grabs the legs, but Darby twists to a victory roll! TWO!!
Claudio escapes and runs up, but Darby ducks ‘n’ dodges, roll and- WHOA, Claudio has to fight to stay up, and then he deadlifts Darby! Darby pops through to CODE RED!! Cover, TWO!! Claudio survives and the fans fire up again! “This is Awesome!” as Darby and Claudio crawl for ropes. Claudio runs up to UPPERCUT! And UPPERCUT again and again and again! The ref backs Claudio off, but then Claudio fires off body shots! Darby flops over but Claudio has the legs. Claudio FLIPS Darby up and over the ropes, but Darby lands on the apron! Claudio BOOTS Darby down! The ref wants Claudio to hold on but Claudio goes out after Darby.
Claudio drags Darby by his legs, then SWINGS him around! Into steel steps!! The fans lose their minds, the ref reprimands Claudio, but Claudio doesn’t care. The fans tell Claudio he is sick, but Claudio TOSSES Darby over the announce desk!! Schiavone, Excalibur & Matt Menard narrowly avoid becoming collateral damage! But Claudio clears the desk and brings Darby up. Claudio puts Darby on the desk, then stands over him. The ref reprimands but Claudio just ignores him. Claudio drags Darby up, and gorilla presses him! SUPER DUPER TOSS onto the timekeeper’s table!! The fans lose their minds as Darby is down but that table’s somehow still standing!
The ref checks on Darby but Claudio storms right over! The ref tells Claudio to stop so they go to the ring. Claudio lets the ring count start, and yet Darby somehow stirs at 4 of 10! The fans rally as hard as they can and Darby crawls his way over! Darby is still far away at 7! But then he powers up and LEAPS in at 9!! But Claudio LARIATS Darby inside-out!! Cover, Claudio wins!
Winner: Claudio Castagnoli, by pinfall
Darby truly is relentless, with durability like no other, but it just wasn’t enough against the strength and brutality of Claudio! Will no one stop The Death Riders from running roughshod over AEW?
Backstage interview with Private Party.
Renee is with Marq Quen & Isiah Kassidy and brings up that at Full Gear, the AEW World Tag Team Championships are on the line in a Fatal 4 Way. Private Party takes on The Acclaimed, The Outrunners and The Kings of the Black Throne. In such a match, the champs do NOT have to be pinned or submitted to lose their titles, so what is their strategy? Brother Zay says they obviously can’t tell her that, the other teams are watching. But it seems like the odds are against them. Fortunately, the odds have been against them their whole lives, their whole careers, just like against The Young Bucks.
But look what happened: Private Party defied the odds, beat The Bucks, and are your AEW World Tag Team Champions. That is the same thing that happens on Saturday. They leave Newark, New Jersey still your tag team champions. Because there ain’t no party like a Private Party, that’s a flex. Oh, speaking of! It’s AJ & Big Justice! They’re fired up to be here, but Justice wants to know what that face Zay made was last week. Oh, right, this one, with the chin scratching. And AJ says they’ve got a BIG announcement coming up after this! Maybe some double chunk chocolate cookies? BOOM!!
A green Porsche Taycan pulls up to the middle of nowhere.
And out steps MJF. The Wolf of Wrestling tells the hobo to “go get it” as he throws spare change off to the side like birdseed. MVP then sits back and tells Roderick Strong, “You’ve been through so much. The kid who grew up trailer park trash with two abusive alcoholic parents. For crying out loud! Your own mother shot your father right in front of you. That’s traumatizing. And as you know, Roddy, trauma is the result of an overwhelming sense of danger, powerlessness and fear. However, healing is a result of feeling safe, empowered and supported. That’s why you’d do anything for Cole. He makes you feel all those positive things that you lacked.
“It’s why I was no different than you. It’s why I trusted him. Unfortunately, the difference between you and I: Cole for me was a mirage of what I wanted him to be. A fraud, a liar. And whilst Cole is a fraud, I do actually believe deep down, in his narcissistic, sociopathic, frail, feeble frame, is a man who cares about Roderick Strong. This is precisely why upon further contemplation, I am happy you won, Roddy. Because I want Adam Cole to watch a person he cares about suffer! And because of your White trash upbringing, you aren’t intelligent enough to realize that you don’t have a prayer. And I’m sending you back to where you belong. To your grimy little trailer park.
“And after the match, you’ll be in so much physical anguish, you’ll wish your mother hadn’t shot your father, but instead shot you.” As if this scumbag couldn’t stoop any lower, he brings up Roddy’s past to hurt him. But will Roddy make sure MJF’s future is the one full of pain and suffering?
Backstage interview with AJ & Big Justice.
Renee is with the Costco Tiktok sensations and says that in the Full Gear Zero Hour, we will see #BigBoomAJ take on QT Marshall in a match 20 YEARS in the making. AJ says it may have been 20 years in the making for QT, this all started for AJ when QT threw the double chunk chocolate cookies down! Renee says AJ has not been in the ring in those 20 years, is he concerned about how his body will hold up? AJ isn’t worried about that, because he just has one strategy, and that’s the strategy they use each and every day. That strategy is to bring the BOOM~! But hey, there’s another special announcement.
Because when AJ rings QT’s bell, and he Power-Booms QT right in the middle of that ring, there is only one guy they want ringing the bell: Big Justice’s best friend, THE RIZZLER! Time to bring the BOOM~! Will QT be sleeping on the mat for The Rizzler? Will he be skibidi? Fanum Tax? Why are those even words?
Tony Schiavone is on stage.
And he welcomes out The Undisputed Kingdom! The fans cheer as Roderick Strong makes his way out, accompanied by Matt Taven & Mike Bennett. Schiavone brings up Roddy VS MJF at Full Gear, and we just heard all that disgusting stuff MJF had to say. Roddy’s response is that to be honest, he has not slept a wink since last week. IT is finally happening! Roddy feels like a kid on Christmas morning. He finally gets his hands on “MAAAAAX~!” The fans echo that, and Roddy says if MJF was here tonight, and not hiding out there, Roddy would ask him: Is Roddy supposed to be ashamed of his childhood?
Is Roddy supposed to be ashamed of his parents? You don’t think Roddy’s heard that stuff before? His whole LIFE, that is what people brought up! His mom’s an addict, his dad’s an addict, mom shot dad. Good job, Max, you made Roddy feel like he was in elementary school again. And people may look at Roddy’s past and feel sorry for him, but Roddy asks us not to. Because looking at MJF, Roddy feels sorry for him. Understand this, Max. With Roddy’s life, he learned that to get the most out of life, you have to earn it. If you wanna break the cycle, you have to earn it. And that is what Roddy’s done ever since he was a kid!
And now looking at MJF, he’s been spoon-fed everything. And when something doesn’t go his way or something happens and he doesn’t like it, MJF throws a temper tantrum like a baby until that changes. So Roddy wants MJF to do something for him: Look in the mirror and think about all the things that MJF has done to people. The manipulating, the backstabbing, the using. MJF needs to realize, when the bell rings at Full Gear, MJF will pay for all those sins. With every chop, with every punch, with every elbow, with every backbreaker! And when it is all over, Roddy walks to his hotel room for the best night of sleep in his life because he earned it.
Especially because Roddy will know he has broken MJF’s back, and left him humbled! Roddy is all fired up, and the fans are with him! Will MJF finally get what’s coming to him? Or will he give Roddy nightmares for the rest of his life?
AEW shares footage taken from last Saturday night.
First, a recap video of Daniel Garcia thwarting Jack Perry’s attempts to abduct and torture Matthew Menard, as well as the joyride they took in the Scapegoat bus, with Perry as the hood ornament. And now, they have Perry strapped into a chair, the bus headlights as the only source of light. Menard is behind the camera as he asks Perry how he’s feeling. How’d that work out for him, huh? Garcia splashes Perry with water to wake him up, and says “Let’s have a conversation. I’m all ears.” Perry chuckles and says Garcia thinks he’s so much better than him. Look at where they are! Garcia shouts back that he doesn’t wanna be here!
Garcia just wants to wrestle, but AEW is full of savages! Perry tried to take Daddy Magic’s life! And those in power just sit back and watch, pretending that nothing’s going on. So what do they do? Gotta take the power back, right? Perry counters with, “Everybody’s got a code. Everybody cares about right and wrong until it costs them something. Until they have to SACRIFICE!” Garcia gets in Perry’s face, grabs him by the mouth, and says Perry’s always going on about sacrifice but Perry has no idea what Garcia’s had to go through! Perry has NO idea what Garcia’s had to sacrifice to be here!
Garcia knows where Perry wants him to go, but Garcia promises that he’s never gonna go there. Perry smirks, then SPITS in Garcia’s face. Garcia wipes that off his face and says bet. Garcia’s got something for Perry, so just wait right there. Garcia goes to the bus while Perry mockingly asks what he’s gonna do. Menard tells shut up, Jack! Life must be so hard for him! What’s Jack got to be sad about?! Garcia comes back and he has a crowbar! Perry dares him to go ahead. Garcia raises the bar, but he SMASHES up the bus! Garcia throws the crowbar away and Perry laughs. Is that it? Garcia tells Menard they’ll get out of here. What? Where’s Garcia going?
Perry says yeah, walk away. Menard tells Perry that Garcia’s gonna whoop his ass! Just wait! Menard leaves, Perry shouts into the night, but will The Face of TNT soon be the one sacrificed for the greater good?
Renee Paquette presides over the ROH World Championship contract signing.
She welcomes us backstage to the signing for this match, which will happen next week, Dynamite: Thanksgiving Eve, in Chicago. The challenger, Tomohiro Ishii, is on her left, and the champion, Chris Jericho, is on her right. Jericho, as champion, you have the honors to sign first. Jericho smiles and waves as he says, “Hi, guys.” But Renee, you should know better. A champion of Jericho’s caliber does not just sign a contract thrust at his face randomly. He has a whole legal team that needs to approve this contract. Renee says it was sent to said legal team last week. Oh, really? What about today? The now! Jericho lives in the now!
Jericho says he’ll get this checked by his legal eagles one more time. But for now, wait here. Choto matte kudesai. Jericho steps around the corner and then down the hall. He smiles at his own picture on the wall. What a good looking guy. But wait, Ishii has followed Jericho to the hall. Jericho is a bit worried as he keeps moving. Jericho tries to block Ishii’s path but a trash can isn’t enough. Jericho tells staffers that Ishii wants to talk to them. They step in the way but Ishii pushes them aside. Jericho moves faster, pushes more people in the way, but Ishii pushes them aside. Was that RJ City?
Jericho goes up some stairs but Ishii follows. Ishii’s even gaining ground! Jericho goes through a doorway and ends up in the concourse! Fans cheer as Jericho and Ishii keep up their cat ‘n’ mouse game. Jericho decides to go into the stands! Ishii follows, and they head down the bleachers towards ringside! Jericho hurries over railing but so does Ishii. They go into the ring, and now Jericho tells Ishii to stop following him! Jericho wants a mic, a mic is brought, and Jericho says hey, listen, Ishii. Jericho would sign this contract, but he doesn’t have a pen. Ishii has a pen! Oh. Ishii clicks it for Jericho, and pushes it into him.
Jericho takes the pen, looks at the contract again, and still hesitates. Jericho signs his part, and then hands things over to Ishii. But then BRYAN KEITH & BIG BILL ATTACK! It was all a massive set-up! Bad Apple & Redwood beat down Stone Pitbull, and then sit him up! Jericho has the pen ready, but here comes The Conglomeration! Mark Briscoe & Rocky Romero rush in, and Mark TACKLES Jericho! Rocky fires off on Bill while Mark CHOKES Jericho! Keith saves Jericho from Mark but Mark fires hands on Keith! The fans fire up, but then Bill SKYSCRAPER- NO, Mark UPPERCUTS Bill first! Rocky adds on!
The fans fire up as The Conglomeration pinballs Bill, and then Ishii CLOBBERS him! Bill tumbles out, but Rocky DIVES! Bill is sent into railing! Keith stands up, into a kick and underhooks! JAY DRILLER! Jericho stands up, Ishii has him, and hits a BRAINBUSTER!! Conglomeration stands tall over The Learning Tree and his Branches, and now Ishii signs his part! The match is now official, and Ishii is looking to take a bite out of Jericho! Will The Conglomeration have the ROH World Championship to be thankful for this year?
Backstage interview with Jamie Hayter.
Renee is with the former AEW Women’s World Champion and notes that last time, we were going to hear from her, only for her to be interrupted by Julia Hart. What is Hayter’s reaction to that? Well, yeah, she isn’t angry, but she is baffled why Julia chose to interrupt Hayter. They’ve never really spoken or interacted, or even wrestled each other. Hayter is just curious as to why Julia felt it was okay to do that. Granted, Julia can do whatever she wants, Hayter moves to the beat of her own drum just as much as Julia. But… if Julia wants to have a chat-
Uh oh, something is happening to the video! Brody King’s message echoes, “It’s time to come home.” Julia Hart walks through the woods. Brody says The House is her foundation. She has seen her rebirth. Now it is time to rebuild. She has woken up stronger, more determined, and more dangerous than ever. Julia aims her arrow to shoot down a target: her past self. Her obstacles are just bull’s eyes. She is the Princess of the Black Throne, and the Keeper of Secrets. She is Julia Hart, and her heart grows harder. She hits her mark, but will she find Hayter Hits Hard?
Orange Cassidy VS Wheeler Yuta!
Freshly Squeezed has been accused of being coldblooded and uncaring, but he got pretty heated as he told The Conglomeration to keep themselves safe tonight. He goes 1v1 with The Decoder, a young man who was once Cassidy’s student, and who left him behind to join the then Blackpool Combat Club. If anyone is uncaring, it is Yuta with how he would then follow Jon Moxley’s lead in the destruction of Bryan Danielson and Chuck Taylor. Who will be the more ferocious fighter tonight, this close to Full Gear?
The bell rings and Yuta SHOTGUNS Cassidy! Yuta follows Cassidy to a corner to CHOP, then ROCK, then CHOP again! Yuta whips corner to corner but Cassidy goes up and out. Cassidy bumps Yuta off buckles, climbs up top, but has to leap over. Yuta comes back but Cassidy catches him to a backslide! TWO, but Cassidy reels Yuta in for a cradle! TWO! Yuta pulls on an ear! But Cassidy arm-drags and wrangles Yuta into the SEATBELT! TWO!! Yuta escapes and the fans fire up as these two stand off. Yuta huffs ‘n’ puffs, but Cassidy shows he wants a grapple. They feel things out, knuckle lock, but Cassidy blocks a kick!
Cassidy reels Yuta in for a headlock, but Yuta powers up and out. Cassidy ducks ‘n’ rolls, tilt-o-whirls, but Yuta suplexes! Into STUN DOG MILLIONAIRE! Yuta tumbles out and fans fire up! Cassidy builds speed to DIVE! Down goes Yuta and the fans fire up again! Cassidy brings Yuta up, whips, but Yuta reverses to reel Cassidy in! Cassidy fights the suplex, but then Yuta fights a suplex. Yuta suplexes, to RAILING BRAINBUSTER!! Cassidy writhes and fans are stunned! Yuta stomps Cassidy, then leaves him behind for the ring count. Cassidy crawls into the ring, Yuta exposes a crossbar, and then he GRINDS Cassidy’s face into the steel!
The fans boo, the ref reprimands, but Yuta steps off at 4. Cassidy seethes as he rises up, but Yuta has him at the corner. Cassidy kicks Yuta’s legs out and Yuta falls onto a turnbuckle! Yuta falls back, Cassidy climbs, but Yuta grabs Cassidy first! Yuta drags Cassidy down but Cassidy fires hands. Yuta squeezes the facelock tight, then hits an APRON DDT! The fans boo Yuta while Cassidy writhes, and Dynamite goes picture in picture.
Cassidy clutches his neck while Yuta waits in the ring. A ring count starts and Yuta eggs Cassidy on. Cassidy reaches up as the count reaches 5 of 10, but he doesn’t sit up until 6. Cassidy hobbles up, stumbles and falls, but springs back to life! He slides in at 9! Only for Yuta to be right on him! Yuta reels Cassidy in, but Cassidy turns that into BEACH BREAK! Cover, TWO!! Yuta survives but Cassidy is too sore to be frustrated. They both sit up, and Yuta crawls his way over to a corner. Cassidy rises, checks his neck, then runs up, but into an ELBOW! Yuta goes up, but Cassidy JUMP FOREARMS! Cassidy positions Yuta just right before he climbs the corner.
Yuta resists but Cassidy still brings Yuta up. Yuta continues to fight the suplex, throws body shots, then shoves Cassidy down. Cassidy rolls back to his feet, runs back up the corner, but Yuta again fights the suplex! Cassidy fires hands, but Yuta fires back! They brawl up top, Cassidy HEADBUTTS Yuta! But Yuta HEADBUTTS back! They both wobble, but then Cassidy BITES Yuta! The ref reprimands, but Cassidy CLAWS Yuta’s back! This is very Moxley of him to do! And then Cassidy hits the SUPERPLEX! Both men are down and the ref checks. They’re both okay to continue, so a standing count begins!
Cassidy sits up, spots Yuta, and heads that way. Yuta sits up, they fire forearms as they stand! Dynamite returns to single picture as these shots go back and forth. The fans fire up for Cassidy but boo Yuta as the shots go faster and faster! Yuta BITES Cassidy’s forehead! Yuta spits then runs, but Cassidy dodges! BODY BLOW! SUPERKICK! Yuta sits down, Cassidy runs, PENALTY KICK! Cassidy slashes his throat, hauls Yuta up, BRAINBUSTER! Cover, TWO!! Yuta survives but Cassidy seethes. Cassidy rains down fists on Yuta! The ref reprimands about closed fists and hair pulling, but Cassidy doesn’t stop until the ref counts 4.
Cassidy stands, and he throws off the elbow pad! Cassidy aims at Yuta, runs up, but Yuta ducks the punch! GERMAN SUPLEX! Yuta runs to CHOP in the corner! And then a wrench and PAIN THRILLER! The fans boo while Yuta seethes and stands over Cassidy. Yuta sits Cassidy up, for HAMMER ‘N’ ANVIL ELBOWS! But Cassidy blocks one! And bends fingers, to then SNAP them! The fans fire up as Cassidy SNAPS finger after finger! Yuta swings, Cassidy BOOTS him, then serves up SOLE FOOD! Scoop and MICHINOKU DRIVER! Cover, TWO!! Cassidy is busting out all his best friends’ best moves, but he hasn’t gotten it done!
Cassidy aims, loads up, and ORANGE- NO, Yuta ducks! Orange fights the suplex, switches to O’Conner Roll! TWO, Yuta dodges Cassidy, scoops him, and CROSS LEG TOMBSTONE!! Cover, TWO?!? Cassidy survives and Yuta is furious! The fans are thunderous, but Yuta rains down HAMMER ‘N’ ANVIL ELBOWS! Cassidy grits his teeth but he’s almost a ragdoll! Yuta lets off to then hook the arms, CATTLE MUTILATION!! Cassidy endures as Yuta thrashes him around! Cassidy powers up as the fans rally, and he kicks around to the ROPEBREAK!! Yuta holds on, the ref counts, and Yuta finally lets go at 4!
The ref reprimands Yuta, but Yuta pushes past the ref to go outside the ring. Yuta grabs a chair! Yuta storms into the ring while the fans boo, and the ref says don’t do it! Cassidy dodges the chair shot! Victory roll, CASSIDY WINS!!
Winner: Orange Cassidy, by pinfall
Yuta is in disbelief! Cassidy beat him with a technical move! Yuta snarls but the ref keeps him back. Cassidy did what he promised in beating Yuta, but then he stares his former student down. Is Cassidy going to offer a handshake? WAIT, PAC ATTACKS! The Bastard BOOTS Cassidy down so we’ll never know what Cassidy was going to do! The fans boo more but Pac & Yuta stand on Cassidy. The rest of the Death Riders appear, and Marina Shafir has duct tape! The AEW World Trios Champions stomp away on Cassidy, like vultures picking the bones. Moxley steps into the ring while Marina hands the tape over to Pac.
Claudio puts Cassidy’s hands in his pockets, and then Pac tapes them in! Cassidy is physically bound, and Moxley paces around. Cassidy is pushed around by all the Death Riders, then Moxley DECKS him! Claudio hauls Cassidy back up, the Death Riders keep bullying him, and then Moxley SLAPS Cassidy down! But the bullying continues as they stand Cassidy up. Cassidy “kicks” Moxley! Defiant to the end! But Moxley DECKS him again! Moxley paces around more, then stomps Cassidy right on the face! Moxley leads The Death Riders away, and The Conglomeration finally comes out here.
Mark has scissors to cut Cassidy loose, and the fans boo as The Death Riders still retreat. Cassidy tries to stand up, but he has to use ropes to do it. Even so, Cassidy stands on his own two feet. Moxley eggs on the fans while Cassidy puts his sunglasses on. And then hands up, and then into the pockets! Try as they might, The Death Riders could not break the Freshly Squeezed fighting spirit! Will Cassidy finally become AEW World Champion? Or will Moxley find a way to break Cassidy at Full Gear?
My Thoughts:
A great go-home Dynamite here, though it felt like it contracted Go Home Syndrome. A lot of recap and other promos, but good promos all the same. Good follow-up from last week with Hayter and Hart, that will probably really get going after Full Gear. Good promo from Mariah & Mina to hype up their celebration segment for Full Gear, and with Toni Storm’s announcement of her retirement, you can bet Toni is anything but retired! Toni Storm most assuredly will return very soon, maybe even to ruin the celebration and spark another feud. I still want us to get to Mariah VS Mina but maybe Storm moves things back so that Mariah VS Mina happens in 2025.
Good promo from Private Party to also have AJ & Big Justice show up. The promos didn’t really add much to any of the matches, though. I’m very sure AJ does hit the BOOM on QT to win, and then Private Party finds a way to survive the Fatal 4. Great stuff with Perry, Garcia and Menard, that was another very action movie kind of promo, maybe even like that grittier Batman movie. But with Garcia not sinking to the same lows as Perry, that will be why Garcia loses. Honestly, why not just have Perry blatantly get himself disqualified? What great heat for Perry while keeping Garcia strong in not becoming TNT Champion.
Great promos in this MJF story. I appreciate Cole throwing his support behind Roddy was good, as well as Kyle O’Reilly wanting Cole to just leave it at this. MJF of course insults Roddy over his past while also trashing Cole at the same time, but great response from Roddy. Also I’m not a car guy so it took me a little too long to Google out what car MJF was driving. Anyway, given all these promos, I am very confident MJF wins at Full Gear and then Cole still wants after MJF, only for Kyle to have to fight Cole to make him stop. Then we’ll maybe get Cole VS MJF at Worlds End, or even some time in 2025.
Very good stuff with The Hurt Syndicate, even with them getting jumped by Swerve. Poor Cheeseburger, that’s one fan favorite that got fed to Bobby Lashley. But Swerve getting the better of the Hurt Syndicate again and again tonight, all the more reason Lashley wins at Full Gear. Very good promo vignette from White and Hangman to hype up their grudge match, which still feels it could go either way since they’re tied on the year. And Jericho and Ishii had perhaps simultaneously the most clever and most ridiculous contract signing segment ever. And of course Jericho worked out some sort of trap, only for it to go badly for him and his team. But with that, that means Ishii is losing next week, as I figured he would.
Awesome opening match with the 8 Man, and I liked that they had Hobbs do the “fighting through the pain” angle in the match. Also, great bit with Kyle Fletcher sending Davis into harm’s way so that the Callis Family can get the better of Ospreay’s team. I thought the Faces were going to win here, but the math now says Ospreay finds a way to beat Kyle, and maybe Ricochet takes the International Championship from Konosuke Takeshita. The Continental Classic is coming, and they could easily use that round robin to get Konosuke back to a feud with Kazuchika Okada and they battle for the Continental Championship at Worlds End like we should’ve gotten at WrestleDream.
Awesome match from Kris VS Shida, and I appreciate the crisis of confidence for Shida. Kris gets a great win to go into Full Gear, and then Kris and Shida get the better of Mone & Kamille, so all the more reason Mone finds a way to survive. As for Kamille, I feel like she should ditch Mone for being treated like crap by Mone, and maybe we can get a feud of Mone VS Kamille going into 2025. And of course, plenty of promos from Death Riders and “Team AEW” members. Moxley just kinda went on and on about stuff he’s already said in reference to Cassidy, but I did like Claudio going bilingual in talking trash on Darby.
Awesome matches from those stories, of course. Darby really got thrown around but he continues to show that toughness. Claudio getting the win mostly keeps Darby back so that Darby can build towards a world title match at Worlds End. Cassidy VS Yuta was great stuff, too, with great back and forth of Cassidy wanting to end it quick, having to grit it out with Yuta, and then Cassidy still finding a way to end it with a quick pin. And they did a good job muddying the math. Cassidy wins the match, but the Death Riders beat him down, only for Cassidy to literally stand tall at the end of the show. I still don’t see him taking the world title from Moxley, though, with Darby still in the wings, but this could end up Cassidy’s best match yet.
My Score: 8.9/10
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Will this be the mightiest Tag League yet?
It’s time for NJPW World Tag League 2024, and this year already looks mighty good as IWGP World Heavyweight Champion, Zack Sabre Jr, is in the A Block! Will he and Ryohei Oiwa make everyone #JustTapOut?
OFFICIAL RESULTS
- Kickoff – Shoma Kato VS Masatora Yasuda; Kato wins.
- Six Man Tag: Hiroshi Tanahashi, Jado & Katsuya Murashima VS Taiji Ishimori & The Filip Brothers; Taiji & The Filip Brothers win.
- Six Man Tag: Toru Yano, Boltin Oleg & Tiger Mask VS The House of Torture; The House of Torture wins.
- Six Man Tag: Taichi, Douki & Taka Michinoku VS The United Empire; Taichi, Douki & Taka win.
- Six Man Tag: Los Ingobernables de Japon VS TMDK; TMDK wins.
- World Tag League 2024 A Block: Shota Umino & Tomoaki Honma VS Jeff Cobb & Callum Newman; Cobb & Callum win.
- World Tag League 2024 A Block: Shingo Takagi & Yota Tsuji VS Alex Zayne & Ryusuke Taguchi; Takagi & Tsuji win.
- World Tag League 2024 A Block: Bishamon VS KENTA & Chase Owens; Bishamon wins.
- World Tag League 2024 A Block: Zack Sabre Jr. & Ryohei Oiwa VS Gabe Kidd & SANADA; ZSJ & Oiwa win.
PLAY BY PLAY
World Tag League 2024 A Block: Shota Umino & Tomoaki Honma VS Jeff Cobb & Callum Newman!
The Roughneck is bringing Everyone’s Kokeshi along for the ride, but this league might already be too much to handle. Can Honma help Shota bring about his Paradigm Shift? Or will they just get conquered by the United Empire?
The teams sort out and Shota starts against The Imperial Unit. The bell rings and Shota runs up to RAM Cobb! And RAM! And RAM! Cobb stays up so Shota kicks low. Shota runs to RAM Cobb, but Cobb rebounds to CLOBBER Shota! The fans cheer while Cobb stalks Shota. Cobb brings Shota up to whip him to a corner. Shota comes back to RAM Cobb! Cobb stays up, so Shota clinches! Cobb fights free with elbows, but Shota dodges a lariat to RAM Cobb! Cobb falls over! The fans fire up with Shota, and he brings Cobb up again. Callum runs in so Shota shoves Cobb aside to catch Callum. Shota shoves Callum at Honma for a shoulder tackle!
The fans fire up as Shota keeps moving and he SOMERSAULT SENTONS Callum! Shota then sets up so he and Honma can tabletop Cobb! Cobb sits up into Shota’s SHOTGUN! The fans fire up and Shota tags Honma. The fans rally behind Honma as he CLUBS Cobb. Honma reels Cobb in, but Cobb suplexes first! Cobb SLAMS Honma down, then calls for Callum. Callum rises but Cobb says hold on. The “Cobby Cat” mocks Honma by bopping himself on the head. Cobb then runs to FALLING KOKESHIÂ FLOP! Honma winds up and runs, but Callum is in the way! Cobb runs up, Honma dodges the lariat but Callum tags in.
Cobb dodges Honma, then shoves him at Callum. They pinball Honma around, and Callum BOOTS Honma while Cobb BLASTS Shota! Then Callum & Cobb coordinate to HIGH LOW with a shoulder tackle and leg sweep! The fans cheer and Cobb says You Can’t See Him! Callum stomps Honma, then KICKS him in the back. Honma gets mad but Callum scuffs him again and again. Honma rises, CHOPS, and CHOPS again! Callum CHOPS and pretends that hurt his hand. Callum CLUBS Honma down but the fans rally up. Honma rises to CHOP! And CHOP! And CHOP! Callum kicks low, reels him in, but Honma fights the suplex!
Honma catches Callum’s lariat to spin and DDT! The fans fire up while both men are down! Callum and Honma crawl, but Honma hot tags Shota! Shota rallies on Callum with big elbows! Shota whips, Callum reverses, but SHota ducks ‘n’ dodges to CLOBBER Callum! Cobb runs up, but Shota arm-drags him, then dropkicks the legs out! Cobb bails, Shota fires up, and the fans rally again. Shota whips Callum corner to corner, runs up on him, and UPPERCUTS! Shota reels Callum in for a FISHERMAN SUPLEX! Bridging cover, TWO! Not quite perfect but Shota doesn’t let that slow him down!
Shota waits on Callum, then runs, but Callum avoids Ignition to hook Shota! Shota fights the backslide so Callum whips him to a corner. Callum runs up but Shota dodges! Shota runs up but Callum goes up and over! Callum keeps moving, but Shota ROCKS him, UPPERCUTS him, and runs! Callum follows to ROCK Shota at the ropes! Callum runs, but then stops to fake out Shota’s dropkick! Shota sits up, but he ducks the Penalty Kick! Shota rolls Callum but Callum rolls through. Shota ROCKS Callum, then spins, but Callum dodges the rolling elbow! DREAMCAST KICK! Shota drops to his knees and the fans fire up!
Callum and Shota crawl, hot tag to Cobb! Cobb runs up to waistlock Shota for a deadlift! Shota fights with elbows, goes to run, but Cobb reels him in for a forearm to the back! Cobb runs, but Shota DROPKICKS him! The fans fire up again and Shota heads for his corner. Hot tag to Honma! The fans rally as Honma CHOPS Cobb, and CHOPS, and CHOPS! Honma puts Cobb in a corner, whips him corner to corner, then runs up. Honma ELBOWS Cobb and hits a BULLDOG! The fans fire up as Honma shows Cobb how it’s done! FALLING KOKESHI- NO! Now Honma FLOPS as Cobb moves! Callum runs up to SHOTGUN Shota off the apron!
The fans fire up as Cobb RAMS Honma into the corner! Callum runs up to forearm SMASH! Callum drops down and Cobb LEAPS over to ELBOW Honma! Callum comes back and Cobb pops him up to the apron! ENZIGIRI, then fireman’s carry! Callum climbs, DOUBLE STOMP ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT! PENALTY KICK and GACHIMUCHI MOONSAULT! Cover, Shota breaks it! The fans fire up and Shota TOSSES Callum! Cobb kicks Shota, whips, but Shota reverses to TORNADO DDT! Shota shouts to Honma and the fans fire up again. Honma rises and he storms up on Cobb. Honma & Shota double whip corner to corner!
Honma runs up to LARIAT! Honma feeds Cobb to Shota’s UPPERCUT! Honma LARIATS, Shota clinches, EXPLODER!! The fans cheer and Honma runs, SLIDING KOKESHI! Shota keeps moving, IGNITION! Honma covers, Callum breaks it! Shota stomps Callum out of the ring and leaves the rest to Honma. Honma drags Cobb up, but Cobb fights the suplex! Cobb ROCKS Honma, whips him, but Honma grabs ropes! Honma BOOTS Cobb, and Shota joins in! DOUBLE RUNNING KOKESHI! And then they DOUBLE FALLING KOKESHI! Cover, TWO!! Cobb survives but Shota goes after Callum! CANNONBALL to the floor!
The fans fire up again as Honma climbs! FLYING- NO, Cobb catches Honma! SPINEBUSTER, and FALLING HAMMER! Cover, TWO!! Honma survives and the fans fire up again! But then Cobb reels Honma in, for a TOUR OF THE ISLAND!! Cover, United Empire wins!
Winners: Jeff Cobb & Callum Newman, by pinfall (gain 2 points; Shota & Honma earn 0)
A powerful showing from “The Kokeshi Brothers,” but they could not bring down Callum & Cobb. With the IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Championships already on Great-O-Khan & Henare, will The United Empire completely dominate the NJPW Heavyweight Tag Division?
World Tag League 2024 A Block: Shingo Takagi & Yota Tsuji VS Alex Zayne & ???
Los Ingobernables de Japon’s heavy formation is in this block, ready to rampage like twin dragons. If only The Sauce could’ve brought his own monster back. Who will be the substitute for Lance Archer? And can he help heat things up?
Zayne makes his entrance before anyone else, and asks to speak on the mic. A mic is given, and Zayne says, “Kon’nichiwa.” The fans applaud, and Zayne explains that when he was contacted this year for WTL, he was also informed that Lance Archer could not make it. Zayne knew he had to do one thing: find the most “delicious” tag partner he could find. And that man is… RYUSUKE TAGUCHI!? The fans can’t believe the Funky Weapon is joining Zayne in this tournament! And he wears a green version of Zayne’s gear! Are things about to get really spicy now?
The teams sort out, and Takagi is in disbelief. LIJ fist bumps and the fans applaud. Taguchi and Zayne bow, “Itadakimasu,” and Zayne starts against Yota. They circle, tie up, and Yota powers Zayne back. But Zayne powers Yota back! Yota powers up to power Zayne onto the ropes, but Zayne turns things around. The ref counts, Zayne lets off slowly with a pat on the shoulders, but Yota plays with Zayne’s hair. Zayne smirks and Yota grins as the two reset. They circle, tie up, and are in a deadlock. Yota headlocks, but Zayne powers up and out. Yota RAMS Zayne but neither man falls. Fans cheer as Yota grins and Zayne plays with his own hair.
Things speed up suddenly, and Zayne sidesteps. Yota bucks the O’Conner Roll, then gets around Zayne. Zayne ELBOWS Yota away to a corner. Zayne runs up to BACK ELBOW and go to the apron in one go! Then he slingshots to RANA! Yota has a rough tumble, but he stands back up. Zayne runs up again, dodges the lariat and waistlocks, only to bring Yota back and run. Yota sidesteps Zayne then drops down, only for Zayne to IMPLODER KNEE DROP! The fans fire up but Zayne keeps moving, STANDING MARIPOSA! The fans cheer more while Zayne grins at Takagi. Zayne brings Yota up, tags Taguchi, and they double whip.
“Funky Sauce” misdirects Yota to hit a BULLDOG then basement dropkick! Cover, TWO! The fans cheer and Taguchi stomps Yota. Taguchi brings Yota up, kicks low, then whips. Yota reverses but Taguchi RANAS! A little slippery, but then Zayne BLASTS Takagi off the apron! Funky Sauce takes aim, Taguchi PLANCHASÂ but flops as Yota moves! Zayne is on the apron but Takagi YANKS Zayne down! The fans rally but Takagi hauls Zayne up to whip him into railing! Yota drags Taguchi up and puts him in the ring. Takagi gets the fans fired up, then he stands Taguchi up. LIJ double whip Taguchi to then DOUBLE SHOULDER TACKLE!
The fans cheer and then Takagi SENTONS! Yota SPLASHES down! Cover, TWO! Taguchi stays in this but Yota tags Takagi. The fans rally and duel while Takagi stands Taguchi up. Takagi bumps Taguchi off buckles, RAMS into him again and again, then digs his shoulder in. The ref counts, Takagi steps back, and he snapmares Taguchi down. Tag to Yota and Yota drags Taguchi up. Yota snapmares Taguchi to ROCK him in the back! Taguchi falls back, Yota tags Takagi, and LIJ drags Taguchi up. They DOUBLE ATOMIC DROP! Taguchi hobbles in pain, falls to his knees, and Takagi BLASTS Zayne off the apron!
Takagi gets annoyed with this Funky Sauce, but Taguchi fires off CHOPS! Taguchi runs, but Takagi easily dodges the hip attack! Takagi then suplexes Taguchi high and hard! Cover, TWO! Taguchi survives and the fans fire up. Takagi hears the fans dueling as he stomps Taguchi. Takagi KNEES Taguchi against the ropes again and again, then whips, for another KNEE! Takagi runs, but into a SOMERSAULT HIP ATTACK! The fans fire up while both men are down! Taguchi and Takagi crawl, hot tag to Zayne! Zayne jumps in and DECKS Takagi, then he BLASTS Yota! Zayne swats a lariat to fire elbow after ELBOW!
Takagi blocks the superkick to CLUB the leg! Yota joins in, LIJ whips Zayne, but Zayne KICKS Takagi, mule kicks Yota, and runs, DOUBLE SOMERSAULT KICKS! The fans fire up and Zayne runs at Takagi. Takagi ELBOWS Zayne, BOOTS him, then goes up. Zayne returns to JUMPING STEINERS! The fans fire up while Zayne covers, TWO! Takagi stays in this but Zayne brings him right up. Zayne goes to scoop but Takagi fights it! Zayne CHOPS, scoops, and BAJA- NO, Takagi slips free! SLIDING- NO, Zayne dodges! Zayne mule kicks, runs, but into the ELBOW! JAB! YUKONÂ feint and DDT! Both men are down again and the fans fire back up!
Takagi pounds the mat, the fans rally behind him, and he crawls, hot tag to Yota! Yota fires up and the fans are with him. Yota brings Zayne around to whip, but Zayne stops himself. Zayne dodges Yota, Yota dodges Zayne, and both men kick low! Yota comes back to BOOT! The fans cheer and Yota brings Zayne up again. Yota fireman’s carries but Zayne fights free. Yota ROCKS Zayne first! Yota tries another fireman’s carry but Zayne sunset flips it! TWO, and both men stand! Zayne rolls Yota, BASEMENT ENZIGIRI! Zayne hurries to hot tag Taguchi! Taguchi HIP ATTACKS in a corner! Taguchi goes corner to corner, for another HIP ATTACK!
Taguchi keeps moving, but Yota runs up! Taguchi dropkicks Yota’s legs out! The fans fire up and Taguchi keeps going! Another dropkick to legs, then a LEG SWEEP! Taguchi rolls Yota into the OH MY GAH ANKLE!! Zayne BOOTS Takagi off the apron! Yota scrambles to the ROPEBREAK! Taguchi lets go but he brings Yota back up. Taguchi traps Yota and Zayne runs in to ELBOW! Zayne then sets up and Taguchi runs, SHOTGUN IN MOTION! Taguchi then brings Yota out to GOURD BUSTER! The fans fire up as Zayne climbs! But Yota KICKS Taguchi away, then GAMANGIRIS Zayne off the corner!
Taguchi kicks Yota, runs, but into a scoop and BACKBREAKER! Takagi slides in, and he finds the camera, “TOKI GA KITA!” The fans fire up as the time has come, and they join in on a chant of “OI! OI! OI!” LIJ whips Taguchi to a corner, then Yota runs in to ELBOW! Takagi whips Yota back in to SPLASH! Takagi adds a LARIAT, then feeds Taguchi to a BOOT! BLINDSIDE LARIAT! SUPERKICK! Taguchi is down, Yota covers, TWO! Taguchi stays in this and the fans fire up. Takagi stands Taguchi up and throws him to Yota for a POWERBOMB! Cover, Zayne breaks it! Takagi drags Zayne up, LIJ mugs him, but he fights back with CHOPS!
The fans fire up but Yota spins Zayne around to facelock, and Takagi wheelbarrows. Yota helps Takagi swing Taguchi down, then up for a BOOSTED WHEELBARROW GERMAN!! The fans fire up and Takagi leaves it to Yota. Yota takes aim and the fans rally. Taguchi rises, Yota runs in, GENE- LEG DROP!? And then La Magistrol! TWO!! Yota escapes in time, but Taguchi spins him to a backslide! TWO!! Yota escapes again! But Taguchi ENZIGIRIS! Taguchi fires up and the fans are with him! But Takagi LARIATS! GENE TRIGGER! PUMPING BOMBER!! And now Yota loads up, for the GENE BLASTER!! Cover, LIJ wins!
Winners: Shingo Takagi & Yota Tsuji, by pinfall (gain 2 points; Zayne & Taguchi earn 0)
The Funky Sauce was hot, but they’re the ones that got burned! Will they be able to spice things up in the second round? Will Takagi & Tsuji keep the tag league tranquilo?
World Tag League 2024 A Block: Bishamon VS KENTA & Chase Owens!
Hirooki Goto & Yoshi-Hashi once again clash with The Fang & The Jewel, both sides hungry for gold. Will it be Lights Out in the opening round? Or will someone just #Go2Sleep?
The teams sort out but then Bullet Club just attacks! Chase is after Goto and Kenta is after Hashi, and they put each man in corners. The bell rings to get this on record as Kenta TOSSES Hashi. Chase CHOKES Goto in the corner, then stands on him! The ref reprimands and Chase lets off to bring Goto up. Chase ROCKS Goto, whips him, and Kenta POSTS Hashi! Chase hits a big hip toss then covers, TWO! The fans rally up while Chase stomps Goto’s leg. Chase scrapes his sole off Goto’s face, and Kenta whips Hashi again. Hashi reverses and Kenta hits railing in front of English commentary! Chase ROCKS Goto, CHOPS him, then whips.
Goto grabs ropes to stop, then he BOOTS Chase! Hashi returns and Bishamon DOUBLE SHOULDER TACKLE! Then ZENMAI! Kenta returns but Bishamon kicks him first. “Se no!” Bishamon BEATS Kenta like a drum! The fans cheer and Bishamon flexes. Goto then goes back to Chase to stomp and CLUB him down. Goto kicks Chase, Chase shoves Goto and ROCKS him with a forearm! Goto knees Chase low, runs, but Chase TOSSES Goto out! Goto hurries back up, he counter punches Chase, and then counter punches Kenta! Chase slips out to YANK Goto down and THROW him into railing! Kenta intercepts Hashi with a kick!
Kenta whips Hashi away into railing while Chase sends Goto into other railing! The ref reprimands but Chase brings Goto through the gate. Chase has fans move out of the way, but then brings Goto back to ringside. Chase grins as he trolls the fans and pushes Goto into the ring. Kenta CLUBS away on Hashi before leaving him behind. Chase pulls on Goto’s arms then TWEAKS Goto’s neck! Not a twist, but equally painful. Chase tags Kenta while the fans rally for “GO-TO-O! GO-TO-O!” Kenta pushes Goto into the corner, Goto hits Chase, but Kenta RAMS Goto! The ref reprimands and counts as Kenta RAMS Goto more!
Kenta sits Goto down, and digs his boot in! The ref counts, Kenta stops at 4, and he tags Chase back in. They stomp Goto more, then Chase headlocks for a sucker punch! Cover, TWO! Chase drags Goto up and he bumps Goto off Kenta’s boot. Tag to Kenta and Bullet Club double whips. They DOUBLE ELBOW Goto down then Kenta covers, TWO! Kenta covers again, TWO! Kenta argues with the ref but the count was fair. Kenta drops an elbow, drops another elbow, then covers, TWO! Kenta gets mad at Hashi for no reason, but the fans rally up for Goto. Kenta CLUBS Goto, but Goto fires CHOPS in return!
Kenta knees low, whips Goto to a corner, but Goto reverses. Goto runs up but into a BOOT! Kenta runs but Goto follows! Goto avoids Chase’s cheap shot to LARIAT Kenta! The fans fire up while Goto and Kenta are down! Goto crawls, hot tag to Hashi! The fans fire up as Hahsi BLASTS Chase! Kenta kicks Hashi low then whips him to a corner. Kenta runs up but Hashi CHOPS in return! And mule kicks! And turns Kenta for a NECKBREAKER! The fans fire up and Hashi watches Kenta. Hashi waits on Kenta to rise, then runs up to CHOP! Hashi hoists Kenta up to hang him out to dry! The fans fire up as Hashi runs, and he DROPKCISK Kenta down! Cover, TWO!
The fans cheer Hashi on as he brings Kenta up. Hashi reels Kenta in, lifts, but Kenta fights with fists! Kenta slips free of the bomb, then slips around Hashi to spin and- NO, Hashi suplexes first! But Kenta slips free again, and he spins Hashi around, to SPIKE DDT! Hashi is stood up on his head before falling over, and Kenta tags in Chase. Chase brings Hashi up and fireman’s carries. Hashi fights free of that, but Chase slips around to half nelson, lift, and SWINGING FACEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Hashi survives but Chase says time to end this! Chase takes aim, C- NO, Hashi dodges the trigger! Chase knees low, runs, but Hashi dropkicks the legs!
The fans fire up whiel both men are down! Chase clutches his leg while Hashi crawls. Hot tag to Goto! Goto runs at Chase to LARIAT in the corner! Goto whips corner to corner, runs up again, but Chase BOOTS him! But Goto comes back! Only for Chase to BUCKLE SHOT and STO, then SENTON! Kenta steps in and Bullet Club drags Goto up. But Goto fires forearms and CHOPS! Kenta SOBATS! Chase KICKS! Kenta ROUNDHOUSES! Goto sits up into the “I HATE YOU!” PENALTY KICK! Cover, but Hashi breaks it! Kenta TOSSES Hashi then goes out after him. Chase drags Goto up and reels him in.
Chase tucks the arms but Goto fights the lift! Goto wrenches out but Chase ROCKS him first! Chase runs, Goto follows, but Chase ENZIGIRIS! Goto stays up, but the C-TRIGGER hits! Cover, TWO!! Goto survives but Chase hurries up! C-TRIGGER POINT BLANK!! And then the tuck for the PACKAGE PILE- NO, Hashi hits a BLOCKBUSTER! The fans fire up, Kenta BOOTS Hashi! Goto fireman’s carries Kenta but Kenta slips free! Kenta shoves Goto into Hashi, then waistlocks Goto. Goto fights the lift, and then ducks, HIDDEN GAP SUPERKICK for Kenta! The fans fire up as Bishamon regroups.
Hashi drags Chase up, whips him to Goto, but Chase BOOTS Goto! Chase swings on Hashi but Hashi ducks the lariat. Hashi powers Chase to ropes, Goto BLINDSIDE LARIATS, and then Hashi rolls Chase. Goto drags Chase up, Hashi has the legs! Chase BOOTS Hashi away! Chase then slips around to dragon sleeper, to steal G T- NO, Goto drops down to victory roll! Chase stands up, into a SUPERKICK! Goto drags Chase around while Hashi BLASTS Kenta! Dragon sleeper and SHOTO!! Cover, Bishamon wins!!
Winners: Bishamon, by pinfall (gain 2 points; Kenta & Chase earn 0)
Another classic in this storied rivalry, worthy of the titles themselves! Will this first win be the win that leads the Fierce Warrior & Headhunter back to the titles? Can Kenta & Chase borrow a page from Bishamon and #GetBackUp in the next round?
World Tag League 2024 A Block: Zack Sabre Jr. & Ryohei Oiwa VS Gabe Kidd & SANADA!
TMDK has a team in each block, doubling their chances of taking this league. But perhaps burying the lead is the fact that THE IWGP World Heavyweight Champion is joining in the fun! Will The Front Man & The Mullet rock this league right from the start? Or will the Mad Man and the turncoat Cold Skull get this tournament #WarReady?
The teams sort out but Oiwa gets in Gabe’s face. Gabe pushes Oiwa, they start, and they tie up at the bell. The fans rally as Oiwa and Gabe are in a deadlock. They go around at center, then Oiwa digs his heels in to push Gabe back. Gabe turns things around to put Oiwa on ropes, but Red Shoes calls the break. Gable lets off, to then CHOP! Gabe scoops and SLAMS Oiwa, then he goes for legs. Oiwa UPKICKS Gabe, then stands up to scoop and SLAM Gabe! Gabe UPKICKS back, both men get up and go face to face. Then they go forearm for forearm! The fans rally as Oiwa gets the edge, but Gabe CHOPS!
Gabe headlocks. Oiwa powers up and out, and they RAM shoulders! Gabe eggs OIwa on and he runs to RAM Gabe! They both run now, and they RAM shoulders again, and again, and again! Gabe CHOPS then runs, but Oiwa CLOBBERS Gabe! The fans fire up while Gabe bails out. Oiwa eggs Gabe on and Gabe snarls. Gabe shakes the railing in frustration, then he paces around the outside. Gabe cools off, slides in, but then tags Sanada. Sanada steps in slowly, so Oiwa tags in ZSJ. The two rivals circle and the afns rally behind “ZAKKU! ZAKKU!” ZSJ and Sanada feel things out, knuclke lock, and ZSJ rolls to wrench.
Sanada is already frustrated so he kicks ZSJ low! Sanada TOSSES ZSJ out and then Gabe goes after Oiwa! Gabe CHOPS away on Oiwa while Sanada sends ZSJ into railing! And then more railing! Gabe does the same to Oiwa, and Sanada storms up on ZSJ. Sanada CLAWS ZSJ’s back, a definite attitude change showing. Gabe Too Sweets with Taiji Ishimori on commentary while Sanada pushes ZSJ into the ring. Sanada whips ZSJ to a corner, but ZSJ goes up, under, around, and RAMS into Sanada! ZSJ snapmares, Sanada handsprings through, but ZSJ UPPERCUTS him down! Tag to Oiwa and he BLASTS Gabe!
Oiwa goes back to Sanada and stands him up. Oiwa wrenches an arm, YANKS it, then wrenches to YANK it again. Oiwa tags ZSJ and ZSJ brings Sanada around to wrench, step over, and wrangle into a mounted armbar! Sanada endures as ZSJ bends the fingers and isolates the arm, to STOMP it! The fans cheer, ZSJ tags Oiwa, and Oiwa CLUBS Sanada’s arm. Oiwa headlocks for a takeover, then isolates the arm in an short arm scissor! The fans rally while Sanada endures and kicks around. Sanada reaches out, ROPEBREAK! Red Shoes calls it, Oiwa lets Sanada go, but then Oiwa brings Sanada up.
Oiwa whips, Sanada reverses, and Gabe trips Oiwa up! Sanda BLASTS ZSJ while Oiwa drags Oiwa out of the ring! Now things spill out into the crowd! Gabe CHOPS Oiwa, then SMACKS him off empty chairs! Sanada BOWLS ZSJ into chairs! Not quite a strike, so Sanada JAMS ZSJ up with a chair! That picks up the spare, and we can hear Gabe’s CHOPS on Oiwa echo out. Gabe stomps Oiwa while Sanada CHOKES ZSJ with a chair! Red Shoes reprimands the War Dogs, but Gabe POSTS Oiwa! Gabe says War Dogs run this, but Red Shoes starts a ring count. Gabe flexes on Oiwa, then drags him up at 7 of 20.
Gabe puts Oiwa in at 10 and Sanada covers, TWO! Oiwa stays in this and the fans rally behind him. Sanada is annoyed but he brings Oiwa up. Sanada CLUBS Oiwa, then bumps him off Gabe’s boot. Oiwa sputters while Sanada tags Gabe in. Gabe drags Oiwa up, mockingly asks where Zack-senpai went, then he UPPERCUTS Oiwa down. Gabe TOSSES Oiwa out, and he BLASTS ZSJ off the apron! Sanada whips Oiwa into railing! Gabe lifts ZSJ bu tZSJ wrenches free to KIMURA! Gabe powers through, to BITE ZSJ on the forehead! Sanada sends Oiwa into more railing, Gabe sends ZSJ through railing and into chairs!
Sanada BOWLS Oiwa into chairs now, there is the strike! Sanada continues to show his new edge as he JAMS Oiwa up with a chair. Red Shoes reprimands so Sanada brings Oiwa back to ringside. Sanada puts Oiwa in for Gabe and Gabe pushes Oiwa to a cover. Red Shoes says no, all the shenanigans were not right. Gabe gets in Red Shoes’ face about that, but Red Shoes stands his ground. Gabe storms around while the fans rally behind Oiwa. Gabe drags Oiwa up, to CHOP! Oiwa wobbles but he rises up. Oiwa CHOPS, and CHOPS, and fires forearms! Gabe DECKS Oiwa with just one! The fans still rally for Oiwa but Gabe stands on Oiwa’s face!
Gabe soaks up the heat, scuffs Oiwa and stomps him around. Oiwa sits up, Gabe runs, but Oiwa reels him in! Gabe fights the waistlock, runs, but into a SNAP GERMAN! The fans fire up while both men are down! Oiwa and Gabe crawl, hot tags to ZSJ and Sanada! The fans fire up as ZSJ dodges Sanada, full nelsons, then spins him to a headlock. Sanada powers out but ZSJ catches him to a COBRA TWIST! Sanada powers out to HIP TOSS, but ZJS UP KICKS! Sanada avoids the Penalty Kick, blocks the boot, but ZSJ steps through the dragon screw to NECK TWIST! And basment DROPKICK! The fans fire up and we’ve only hit 10 minutes!
ZSJ drags Sanada up, UPPERCUTS him, then UPPERCUTS again! Sanada blocks the next to spin and suplex, but ZSJ says no to the Magic Screw! NORTHERN LIGHTS! Bridging cover, TWO! Sanada escapes but ZSJ stays focused. ZSJ stands Sanada up to scoop, but Sanada slips free. ZSJ fights the waistlock, runs, but into a dropkick to the legs! Sanada then DROPKICKS ZSJ down! Sanada fireman’s carries but ZSJ slips free, to have the IRON OCTOPUS! The fans rally while Sanada endures, and Sanada powers out to have a leg! DROPPING DRAGON SCREW! ZSJ clutches the leg and Sanada takes aim! SHINING-
NO, ZSJ ducks, but Sanada catches him to a backslide! ZSJ rolls through to NECK TWIST! Tag to Oiwa and Oiwa BLASTS Gabe off the apron! Oiwa goes back to Sanada and brings him up. Oiwa whips Sanada to ropes, ELBOWS Him down, then ZSJ PENALTY KICKS Sanada! Oiwa deadlift GUT RWENCH PLEXES! Cover, Gabe breaks it! Gabe CHOPS away on ZSJ and Oiwa, but ZSJ blocks! Oiwa DOUBLE CHOPS! ZSJ UPPERCUTS! ZSJ & Oiwa DOUBLE DROPKICK Gabe down! The fans fire up with Oiwa and he clamps onto Sanada with a SLEEPER! Sanada endures and fights up, but Oiwa thrashes him around!
Sanada still fights to his feet, slips around the back, and shoves Oiwa to ropes. Gabe trips Oiwa up! Oiwa kicks at Gabe but Sanada kicks ropes to jam Oiwa up! Sanada suplexes Oiwa into the MAGIC SCREW! Both men are down but the fans rally up again. Sanada crawls over, tag to Gabe, and Gabe storms right up on Oiwa. Gabe UPPERCUTS Oiwa right down! Gabe then puts Oiwa in a corner to fire off forearm after forearm! Red Shoes reprimands and counts, but Gabe digs his boots in while talking trash. Gabe shoves Red Shoes aside so he can keep stomping away on Oiwa! The fans rally and Red Shoes backs Gabe off.
Gabe seethes but the fans continue to rally for Oiwa. Oiwa grits his teeth as he sits up, but Gabe ROCKS him with another shot! Oiwa still looks up defiantly at Gabe, so Gabe fires shots! Gabe says Oiwa’s not worthy of being his NJPW Strong Openweight Challenger. Gabe says Oiwa’s just some “weak ass kohai!” Gabe SPITS on Oiwa, but Oiwa gets in Gabe’s face! Gabe fires slapping strikes, blocks a shot, then SLAPS Oiwa again! Oiwa spins to DOUBLE CHOP Gsbe down! Sanada runs up and kicks low! Sanada whips, Oiwa reverses, but Sanada reverses back, RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! ZSJ PENALTY KICKS Sanada!
Gabe runs up, ZSJ BOOTS him first! Gabe runs back in, slips out of the scoop, and he scoops ZSJ for EMERALD FLOWSON!! But Oiwa spins Gabe! Gabe avoids The Grip, runs, but into a LARIAT!! Cover, TWO!! Oiwa is frustrated but the fans rally behind him. Oiwa hauls Gabe up, ANACONDA PLEX!! Cover, TWO!! Gabe survives again but Oiwa roars! Oiwa drags Gabe up, reels him in, but Gabe fights the gut wrench! Gabe CLUBS Oiwa on the back, then he gut wrenches! Oiwa fights back, wrenches out, and he blocks a lariat to spin. Gabe HAYMAKERS, and SAIDOS!! Gabe crawls his way to the cover, TWO!!
The fans are thunderous as Oiwa survives! Gabe snarls and he drags Oiwa up. Gabe says this is the end. But Oiwa fights the suplex! Oiwa suplexes, but Gabe fights it! Oiwa still tries, but Gabe slips out to waistlock. Sanada DROPKCIKS Oiwa, Gabe UPPERCUTS! Gabe & Sanada work together to DOUBLE SUPLEX! Gabe suplexes again, BRAINBUSTER!! Cover, ZSJ BREAKS IT! Sanada TOSSES ZSJ out and tells Gabe to finish this! ZSJ RAMS Sanada, they brawl outside, and Gabe slashes his throat. Gabe drags Oiwa up, reels him in, but Oia slips through the gut wrench to backslide! TWO, and Gabe UPPERCUTS!
Gabe runs, but ZSJ is back! He BOOTS Gabe but Gabe SLAPS ZSJ! ZSJ KICKS the haymaker away to then ROUNDHOUSE Gabe! Sanada’s in to dragon sleeper! ZSJ arm-drags free, but Sanada comes back to SHINING WIZARD! Sanada then drags ZSJ up, but ZSJ scoops first! ZACK DRIVER!! ZSJ and Sanada flop out of the ring, leaving Oiwa and Gabe to rise up. They run at each other, to DOUBLE LARIAT! neither man falls, they DOUBLE LARIAT again! Gabe UPPERCUTS! Oiwa PALM STRIKES! Gabe PALM STRIKES, CHOPS, JABS, rebounds, into a roll-up! Hig stack, TMDK WINS!!
Winners: Zack Sabre Jr. & Ryohei Oiwa, by pinfall
Gabe is in shock! He gets right in Red Shoes’ face but Red Shoes says it was a fair count! Gabe then goes after Oiwa to CLOBBER him! The fans boo and Young Lions rush in, but Gabe eggs Oiwa on! So Oiwa obliges and they brawl among the fans! The Young Lions rush in to separate the two, but Gabe gets loose to CLOBBER Oiwa! They scrap, ZSJ joins in, and he pulls the two apart. Gabe kicks a chair in frustration, then goes into retreat. Wait, Oiwa chases Gabe to the ramp and beats him down! Young Lions again scramble in to stop this, but it just heads to the back! Sanada shrugs it off, will the #ColdWarDogs just have to try harder in the next round?
As for the winners, well, they’re no longer ringside so there won’t be any in-ring closing words. Backstage interviews begin, Gabe promises Oiwa will be put in the ground! Will the Mad Man show The Mullet what it takes to be NJPW Strong? As for ZSJ, he gathers himself, and tells NJPW Media that he doesn’t know where The Mullet went. Actually, no, he has an idea: The Mullet must be smashing the s*it outta Gabe. “Roy The Mullet” is the next NJPW Strong Openweight Champion! Oiwa will hit Gabe so hard, his legs will turn into trombones! As for ZSJ, there is something rare happening in this year’s WTL, isn’t it?
Yes, it’s that the IWGP World EFFIN’ Heavyweight Champion is involved, as this should be! The first time the world champion’s been in this tournament in roughly a decade! ZSJ said he was gonna be a different kind of world champion for NJPW, and that he promises to take NJPW back to the top! Now obviously, a conflict of interests, as this tournament is Shane Haste’s & Mikey Nicholls’ to win, but ZSJ won’t give the boys an easy ride. ZSJ is dreaming~ of an all TMDK World Tag League finals! Then who knows, maybe Zack & Roy get the job done.
But ZSJ knows the Tokyo Dome is coming soon. And Shota Umino wants to be ZSJ’s challenger. ZSJ says he will be keeping his eyes wide open for Shota. ZSJ says he’ll have a DOUBLE main event in the Tokyo Dome, it’s in the bag. What about you, Shota? The Front Man heads out, having put the pressure on his challenger, but will all of NJPW soon belong to TMDK?
Here are the A Block standings!
Zack Sabre Jr. & Ryohei Oiwa: 1-0, 2 points
Jeff Cobb & Callum Newman: 1-0, 2 points
Shingo Takagi & Yota Tsuji: 1-0, 2 points
Bishamon: 1-0, 2 points
Gabe Kidd & Sanada: 0-1, 0 points
Kenta & Chase Owens: 0-1, 0 points
Alex Zayne & Ryusuke Taguchi: 0-1, 0 points
Shota Umino & Tomoaki Honma: 0-1, 0 points
My Thoughts:
A great start to World Tag League 2024, with just A Block opening things tonight. I will say those tune-up matches were interesting. Even though David Finlay is the Global Champion, it’s Taiji Ishimori that has apparently become Bullet Club’s international ambassador. Taiji brought Robbie X into the group, now he teamed with The Filip Brothers, Tome & Stevie, who knows who else Bone Soldier will recruit. Taiji’s team beating Tanahashi’s team, House of Torture cheating and beating Tanahashi’s friends, this is all putting the pressure on The Ace, meaning The Ace will win out at WrestleKingdom 19.
Shota Umino teaming with Tomoaki Honma, I wonder if this is to hold Shota back somehow. He is apparently still heading for WrestleKingdom and a world title match with ZSJ, so it’s not like Shota needs to win WTL, but I guess NJPW just wants Shota to give the fans a good time alongside a fan favorite like Honma. Also, Callum & Cobb have a fun new shirt for their team-up. I figured Zayne would need to improvise now that #MonsterSauce is no longer happening, and Taguchi was a great surprise choice. But #FunkySauce making its debut against a team as strong as Takagi & Tsuji was a shame because of course LIJ was winning that. Maybe Zayne & Taguchi can pull off a spoiler victory later on, but I don’t see Funky Sauce going that strong.
Bishamon VS Kenta & Chase really was an awesome match, and it is so surprising how Chase has grown in just the past couple years. Great win for Goto & Hashi, though, as they’re clearly the solid utility choices in the tag division. And what an awesome main event, with Sanada bringing out the most Heel stuff he’s done perhaps ever. A bit jarring really, but that’s just kinda old fashioned Heel turns for ya. Great win for TMDK, though, and definitely an unorthodox way of closing by having Oiwa and Gabe brawl all over ringside and into the back.
While ZSJ says it is big for the world champ to be in this tournament, which I do agree with on some level, it also makes some of the A Block action seem secondary. Gabe and Oiwa having their grudge was kinda the main motivator behind this match, and then it’ll be similar when Shota & Honma VS ZSJ & Oiwa happens. There is the added drama of, “What if someone pins ZSJ? Will they get a world title match before WK19?” Maybe Shota solidifies his WK title match by being the one that pins ZSJ in their match, but it all just feels like more flash than substance. No one else is going to pin ZSJ, Oiwa probably takes whatever losses their team will take, so A Block’s story suffers for it.
My Score: 8.9/10
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TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
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