It’s the Super Bowl, and the world will be watching! See who your resident Chairshot handicapper Steve Cook thinks will win the NFL’s championship game between the Eagles and the Chiefs.

Hi, hello & welcome to Super Bowl LVII! I’m Steve Cook, and I’m not going to lie to you good & honest Chairshot readers. I have absolutely no interest in writing this column or watching this game. None whatsoever. Those of you that root for NFL teams that have come up short in conference championship games know exactly what I’m talking about. Granted, getting to that position certainly beats a decade of three-win seasons, three decades of not being able to win a single playoff game & most of the states that NFL franchises currently find themselves in, but there is absolutely no fun to be had in a Super Bowl that you think your team should be in.

Our Cincinnati Bengals had a few too many obstacles in front of them. They had to deal with the best quarterback in the league, who allegedly had a high ankle sprain but seemed to be throwing the ball and moving around pretty well. The Bengals quarterback didn’t have his best game, and their offensive line had a little too much to deal with while the Chiefs’ offensive line seemed unbothered. There was all the trash being talked by some of the Bengal players, which while horribly overplayed by the media certainly got under the Chiefs’ skin. Then there were the officials giving the Chiefs extra downs whenever they needed them and popping up with some kind of bogus call whenever the Bengals made a big play.

So the Bengals season is over. Which is fine. Now I have to hear about how it’s such a wonderful story that the Kansas City Chiefs managed to somehow get back to the Super Bowl. I have to hear about Andy Reid, & Patrick Mahomes, & Jackson Mahomes, & how loud it gets in Kansas City, and that goofball from the University of Convicts, Travis Kelce. Oh don’t get me started…ok, I’ll get started.

Did you know that Travis & Jason Kelce are the first brothers to oppose each other in the Super Bowl? I might have heard that a time or thousand over the past couple of weeks. It’s not accurate. See, Travis is a tight end for the Chiefs, while Jason plays center for the Eagles. They will not be taking the field against each other. Had the Cardinals & Steelers played in this game, and J.J. Watt played linebacker for the Cardinals while Derek Watt was in at fullback for the Steelers, they would have opposed each other in the Super Bowl. That would have been interesting. This isn’t. Let me know if Travis goes in at linebacker, or Jason lines up at defensive end, because that would be interesting. Here, they’ll just stare across the field at each other like a couple of octogenarian politicians.

Chiefs vs. Eagles. I mean, the whole “two Black quarterbacks” thing is pretty cool, and it’s shocking yet not all that shocking that it took so long. Beyond that, I’ve got nothing. I’m still going to be stuck watching this thing, so how does one get excited for the actual game itself?

Prop bets?

Yep, we got prop bets coming out the yin yang for the biggest sports gambling day of the year. You can bet on almost anything going on in this game, though I wouldn’t recommend it unless you have some inside knowledge. How long will the National Anthem take? Bet on it if you know how fast Chris Stapleton sings things. I don’t listen to current hip-hop, so I’m not familiar with his work. Let’s take a look at some of the best and/or most popular…

What will the coin toss land on?

• Heads: -105
• Tails: -105

One of the dumbest things to bet on out there, but still one of the most popular. Heads has won four out of the last five Super Bowls. Personally, I always chose Heads on Madden 2002 back in the day, so that would be my pick.

Super Bowl MVP:

• Patrick Mahomes: +130
• Jalen Hurts: +140
• Travis Kelce: +1100
• AJ Brown: +1400
• Miles Sanders: +2500
• Devonta Smith: +3000
• Haason Reddick: +3000

There’s a long list of other options on BetMGM, but I feel like I’ve already listed too many. A quarterback has won this award thirty-one times. Mahomes is going for his second, and with his “story” going in it’d be an easy call to make if the Chiefs end up winning. Now, we’ve seen a wide receiver win it two out of the last four seasons, this opens the door for the likes of an AJ Brown to slip through. Interesting thing about Kelce: No tight end has ever won Super Bowl MVP. Considering how much media has gassed him up this week with the “brothers” storyline, he’s an interesting choice at +1100. I still think the quarterbacks are the obvious bets, especially if you’re getting them at plus odds. I could see this changing before Sunday.

Color of Gatorade Bath:

• Orange: +325
• Yellow/Green: +175
• Clear/Water: +750
• Blue: +400
• Red/Pink: +500
• Purple: +900
• No Gatorade Poured: +1400

I’m a Lemon-Lime guy myself, so I would be hoping for some yellow Gatorade on the sideline if I was involved. I am not, so it would behoove those wanting to bet on this to figure out which Gatorade players of both teams prefer. Blue has had a strong run, winning three out of the last four years. It seems relevant to point out that the Chiefs doused Andy Reid with Orange back in 2020. Some have speculated that Reid may opt out of the Gatorade bath now since he’s old…I don’t think he’s quite that grouchy yet, but it’s something to keep in mind.

I’d go Blue or Orange depending on who you think will win.

Sunday, February 12

Kansas City vs. Philadelphia (-1.5)

This is WILD 🤯

📺: #SBLVII on FOX pic.twitter.com/qZGxeUZNsu

— FOX Sports: NFL (@NFLonFOX) February 9, 2023

We’ve already said a lot about the Kansas City Chiefs. While I have my reservations over how they conduct themselves as an organization and over how they got to this particular game, I’m still a bit surprised to see them as an underdog. They’ve been here before, multiple times in recent years. Their recent postseason success would look even more impressive if it’d taken place before Tom Brady and/or the Patriots shifted the paradigm. Five straight AFC Championship Game appearances, three out of four Super Bowl appearances. They’ve dominated the AFC in recent years, and with Pat Mahomes locked up they’ll probably dominate the AFC in future years.

So why are they the underdogs?

The Philadelphia School District announced a delayed opening for Monday after the Super Bowl 🎒 pic.twitter.com/EJu3z6MgST

— FOX Sports: NFL (@NFLonFOX) February 9, 2023

While the Chiefs had difficulty dispatching the Jaguars & Bengals in their AFC playoff games, the Eagles ran through their NFC opponents like a hot knife through butter. They had no issue defeating the Giants, then stomped out the hopes & dreams of the quarterback-less 49ers. There’s a knock against the Eagles, which is the idea that they’ve had a relatively easy schedule. It kind of falls apart when you remember they played the Cowboys & Giants twice in the regular season, along with two other playoff teams in the Vikings & Jaguars early in the season. The Packers & Titans are usually playoff teams and both teams nearly made it again. These Eagles have taken care of business so far, and they could very well do it again.

I don’t think they do. Patrick Mahomes may not have had that blow-away Super Bowl performance yet, but it’s coming. If you’re giving me the Chiefs as an underdog, I’m gonna take it.

Thanks for reading, and enjoy Super Bowl LVII!