Entertainment
Andrew’s Judgmental Album Reviews: Metallica – 72 Seasons (2023)
Well its a week delayed because good ole Jersey thrash came first. Does Metallica’s new album still have any teeth or are they really just gumming their food at this point? 72 Seasons gets judged!

Last week was New Jersey week, tag team review, OverKill putting out a damn solid new album in Scorched, topped off nicely with Deonna Purrazzo and Steve Maclin winning their respective Impact Wrestling championship matches. But even with a geographical bias, don’t think I forgot about this album. Metallica is inarguably the largest metal band on Earth…even if they haven’t deserved that title for about 30 years. See this just goes to prove, if you put in a solid 10 years, you can coast the rest of the way.
I haven’t enjoyed an album from this band based on its musical merits since Load (1996) and that was more Bluesy Hard Rock than metal. So after trash can snares, wah pedal for days, only playing the pentatonic scale, skipping solos and being generally slow and boring since 2003…I have no hope for this album.
But hey, maybe I’ll be surprised; I doubt it…but maybe. Given the fact I’m not exactly hyped I think I’ll tweak how I do the reviews a bit since this is probably going to have a lot of long and drawn out pieces that make me want to bash my head into a wall.
Metallica is: James Hetfield (Rhythm Guitar & Lead Vocals), Kirk Hammett (Lead Guitar), Lar Ulrich (Drums), Rob Trujillo (Bass & Backing Vocals)
- Artist: Metallica
- Album: 72 Seasons (2023)
- Label: Blackened Records
- Total Track Time: 77: 14
They released the title track, and first track 72 Seasons as the last single before the album came out. Admittedly, it was almost okay, until it takes about 90 seconds to really start and then the whole song is just repetitive and boring. The only entertainment is how Lars’ cymbal taps remind me more of a coins stuck in the washing machine so it makes that annoying tinny sound for 7 minutes. So he upgraded from a trash can snare to about 35 cents stuck in the washing machine. A general criticism of this album is something they’ve been infamous for, more notably Post-St Anger, and that’s just long builds to nothing. Inflated intros, false endings where the beat essentially stops just to be brought back to life; and its not even a really great beat…its all mid tempo Dad Rock. The lyrics are also pretty inane honestly, its hard to believe that the same man who nearly made a song about SIDS, is going with this corny rhymes like grow and follow or fate and hate. These are like third grader spelling bee rhyme schemes.
This album also has a miserable consistency of tempo. Some people may find that a good thing, and in other albums I might agree. But when nearly every song is a crunchy mid tempo plod of down tuned bluesy licks I can’t help but start nodding off. I also never thought I’d say this about an old school Thrash band, but stop doing solos. Christ on a crutch, Kirk’s solos are terrible. Sleepwalk My Life Away is an accurate song for how this album feels, and not in a good way. They’re trying to capture a Black Sabbath kind of vibe but its just boring. You Must Burn! at least tries to be interesting, but its just a modification on the Sad But True riff. At least it tries and almost sounds like it belongs somewhere between Black Album era and Load. It took 25 minutes, but we finally have a tolerable song, though they do have one of those stupid staccato false finishes. If they ended it where the false finish was, it would’ve been much better (a lot like most wrestling matches in the last 15 years). They drag out a good 4 minute song, to being a schlog of a 7 minute song. If you’ve listened to any Metallica, you know they drag songs out, so this should surprise no one. If there was an award for turning 4 minute songs into 7+ minute wastes of time…Metallica would win that easily.
You know what, I did enjoy AJ’s little 3 highlight songs, so I think I’ll do that here. Assuming I can find three:
Lux Æterna – 3:25
I liked this song as soon as I heard it. It was their first single for the album and struck me as Hit the Lights but with more of a punk flavor. This does a great job at updating a Kill ‘Em All sound, making it unique, fun and not overstaying its welcome. It should also be pointed out, this is the shortest song on the entire album, the rest of the songs on the album are 4:30 or longer. Maybe people have said this album is like a fusion of Load and Kill ‘Em All, and this song encapsulates that nicely.
Chasing Light – 6:45
This feels like the inverse of The Unforgiven. Where Unforgiven talks about a boy who’s ignored, abused and torn down; this one takes more of a stance to help prop up the young boy to chase his light even through the darkness. So again, there’s some Black Album parallels in this album, but this song actually manages to stay fairly catchy throughout. Plus the chorus has a nice call and response section with the Lean on Me portion very easily being a crowd joins in situation. While its not overly profound, it does show the natural growth that comes with getting older and the understanding of needing assistance and motivation to get through the darkness.
Too Far Gone? – 4:33
Picks up the tempo a little with lyrics that focus more on isolation and potentially going to far in the distancing. Lyrically I suppose this is something people could be struggling with after the last few years the world has had, but they did something here that wasn’t present in the album leading up to it. They really turn into dual guitar harmonies and groove focused rock. So its still mid tempo, but its not that boring wannabe Black Sabbath that most of the album has been. Even Room of Mirrors gives us a small taste of a more rock oriented harmonic Metallica…and if they steered into that more, this would’ve been a better album.
So there we go, a few highlights, but this album is mostly what you expect after the last few albums. Its slow, plodding at times, solos that don’t seem to have any real soul and mid tempo throughout. If you are a mainstream fan and like their Black Album forward sound, you’ll probably be fine with this. The last song also being 11 minutes long is just dumb. I have nothing against good dynamic long songs like Octavarium by Dream Theater or Art of Life by X Japan. But when its not dynamic and more of this slower to mid tempo snore fest, I just can’t get behind that. Also I don’t want to hear anyone talk about their age as why they’re slower, we just did an OverKill review and they’re aggressive, last year’s Megadeth album The Sick, The Dying… and The Dead still had plenty of melodic thrash moments. Making excuses for whatever this album is, is purely fan bias and mental gymnastics.
There are some small glimmers of light, but for the most part this is mid or coma inducingly boring.
Final Judgment: 4.75/10
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Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
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Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
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Prepare for the most electrifying even of the HPW calendar!
While the stage is set for Blood & Thunder 4 and the HPW World Trios Championships, HPW must also address the return of KAGE!
Thundra Plateau is ready.
Wrestling is Life, but life has its stormy weather. The rain is going to be hot in June, but will the reign continue through the Summer? The Dark Forces may have failed to take the Undisputed Triforce World Championship from Zelda, but they still have the World Trios Championships. Harlequin, Lupay & Glutko will step inside the double ring, double cage to defend their gold. On one side, Arrow Club’s special combination of Fin Balure, Torbevito & Bad Croc Scaly. On the other, a new combination of its own in Cia, Lana & Midna.
Speaking of Cia, Lana & Midna…
The three of them are together, dressed in workout attire, in what appears to be a dance studio. This is a collaboration stream for Midna and Lana as they’re both big presences on the internet, aka “influencers.” Lana and Midna wave and say hi, and they give introductions, including Cia, who is reluctant to be standing there. Cia doesn’t know why they need to do this. Lana says they have to improve their teamwork. They may have won against Los Taros Locos, but it was really sketchy there for a second. Midna adds that doing a dance routine together is great for their timing and coordination.
Cia says she didn’t mean that, she meant having to stream it! Oh, well obviously, combining Midna’s viewing audience with Lana’s, and HPW’s overall, this makes huge numbers! So? And huge money…! Cia raises her eyebrow and says, “Oh really?” The trio sets up, and Lana says obviously they first have to learn the steps. Midna brings up, “Wait, what song are we dancing to?” Oh, good point. Lana was thinking something from Lulu. Cia asks, “Lulu? From the Indigo-Go’s?” Midna says Lulu’s got a great solo album. Lana agrees! That’s so great that they like the same music. Cia isn’t as familiar with her solo stuff, so she’ll rely on them for this.
Lana suggests they go with Energetic Me. For one, it has the most energy, duh. And it still has a dance vibe, which is the whole point. Midna says she might’ve gone with Royal Discotheque or Ten Outta Ten, but she sees Lana’s point. Lana shows them the dance moves she has in mind. Left arm up, bent at the elbow, and the hand up against the side of the chest. Then they switch so the right arm goes up to mirror that position while the left hand goes back to the hip. Maybe add a little hip pop as that happens. Do that a couple times, and then turn to the right. This puts the left hand on the back of the hip, right hand on the back of the neck for a sexy pose.
Then you turn to flip it the other way, then do a 360 with a big neck whipping, hair flipping move. Then finish with feet apart and double V’s up by the eyes, maybe with a wink. Cia says, “Yeah, okay…” while Midna says, “I like it!” Midna says she’ll set up in the middle. Cia asks why Midna is in the middle, and Midna says it’s symmetry. She’s the tallest, Cia and Lana are about the same, it makes sense. Yeah, but it also means Midna is the center of attention. Well, that’s just coincidental. Lana says it doesn’t matter, the point is them doing it all in synch. Cia sighs and says, “Fine.” Midna is in the middle, Cia is on her right, and the music plays.
Left arm, right arm, left arm, right arm, pose to the right, pose to the left, 360 spin and neck whip, then double V. Midna nailed it, but Cia was lagging. Cia defends she was not, but Lana says it’s alright, they’ll just keep trying. They run through it a couple more times, they do tighten it up, and all three feel really good about how that went.
The Dark Forces are watching.
They aren’t impressed by the “little dance party.” Harlequin says the Faces of Evil are way better anyway. Especially with the classics like the Thriller dance and Macarena. Zant says, “The Macarena? Pfft, and people think I’m a dork…” Harlequin says, “Don’t you dare mock the Macarena!” Harlequin changes tabs on the computer and starts playing the song! After the introduction, he lifts his right arm up flat, then his left. Then he turns the right hand up, the left hand up, puts his right hand on his left shoulder, left hand on right shoulder, then moves right hand up behind his head, and then his left.
Now his arms crisscross, right hand on left hip and left hand on right hip, to then switch so right hand on right hip and left hand on left hip. And of course, he swivels his hips in one big circle to go with “HEY~ Macarena! AIGHT!” Zant rolls his eyes while Harlequin keeps going, jumping 90 degrees to his left. Ganon walks in, Ghirahim following behind, and he tells Harlequin to “turn that crap off.” Harlequin pouts but he does as told. Ganon seethes as he takes a seat in his big arm chair. “Needless to say… Wrestling is Life didn’t go how I’d hoped. What was Kage even doing there?! Did either of you have any idea he was going to betray us?!”
Zant and Ghirahim are a bit flustered. Zant isn’t even sure Kage was part of The Dark Forces at the time Ganon took ownership. He’d kinda gone rogue at some point, didn’t he? Ghirahim agrees, it didn’t seem like he was even aligned with Cia and the others. All the more reason for Kage to keep his nose out of Ganon’s business! If Kage cared about the Dark Forces, then he would’ve helped them fight back at HyruleMania, or any time since. Kage clearly just wants the title, same as Ganon, so he’s a dead man walking. Speaking of that… Where’s Kevin? He came back in April, why isn’t he here?
Somewhere dark and spooky…
Heavy footsteps can be heard echoing as Kevin Gibdo moves down the hallway. He speaks with a low, airy voice, “Majora… Your madness… spread like wildfire… You thought by setting me ablaze… I would crumble into ash… You were wrong! Instead, I have been purified…! Purged of flaws and weaknesses… I now come forth… as gold!” There’s a light at the end of the hall, and Kevin enters a grand hall, with treasure gleaming in the light. At the center is the sarcophagus. Kevin walks up to it, opens it, and then his burnt and tattered bandages fall away before he steps inside. The sarcophagus closes, then the eyes on it begin to glow… Then the entire thing glows!
The glowing becomes a shining light, and that shining becomes so bright that nothing can be seen. It is clear things between Kevin and Majora are not over. Will the Masked Monster even stand a chance once the Gibdo of All Gibdos is restored to full strength?
Back to the Dark Forces…
Shabonne says, “I’m sure Kevin is just fine doing whatever Gibdos do on their time off.” Tali says, “What matters is what I’m about to do to that tiny little weasel with the Goddess Championship. If The Dark Forces is gonna have all the gold, then I need to squash her like a bug and take that title off of whatever’s left!” Ganon nods and says he likes the initiative. Tali will start on her own Triple Crown as the Dark Forces will make Hyrule Pro-Wrestling their kingdom! The group cheers while raising a toast! And then Harlequin gets Glutko and Lupay to join in on the Macarena, to which Ganon groans and facepalms.
And so, the ThunderStruck card is set!
The double ring, double cage will rattle with Blood & Thunder as the HPW World Trios Championships are on the line! The Gerudo Ace looks to settle a grudge with the Hero’s Shadow! And now, the Million Rupee Championship and HPW Goddess Championships will also be on the line! Will the Dark Forces absolutely dominate the Summer? Be ready to endure the heat on Friday, June 20th!
About Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)
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Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
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Bandwagon Nerds
Bandwagon Nerds #287: Filling A Void
The Nerds review Thunderbolts*, check out the latest trailers, and celebrate Star Wars Day as only they can!

The Bandwagon is stripped down this week as Dave and PC Tunney helm the ship for a big week in the Nerdosphere. Naturally, we are covering Thunderbolts as Dave, Tunney (and the rest of the Bandwagon, for that matter) all saw the latest entry into the MCU. What was the consensus, and did the longest post-credit scene in MCU history push the Universe in the right direction? In other MCU News, we discovered why Hawkeye had no second season. From there, the guys head into the Trailer Park to look at the latest, including a sizzle reel for Netflix’s TUDUM event, Dwayne “The Rock ” Johnson’s latest movie, The Smashing Machine, and a very creepy look at Weapons. GTA 6 got delayed, again….but could that be a blessing in disguise? But this Episode was recorded on Star Wars Day, and to commemorate the event, Dave tries his best to convince Tunney to watch Andor, while Tunney tells Dave what he likes most about one of the most successful franchises of all time. All that, plus Dave tells you why The Last of Us is the best show anywhere on TV. Dave & Tunney cover a lot of ground in an action-packed episode of BWN, so make sure you tune in!
- @AttitudeAgg
- @WrestlngRealist
- @itsReyCash
- @PCTunney
- @itsmedpp
- @ViolentAesop
- @TheMindlessPod
- @therealcplatt
- @ChairshotMedia
- @BandwagonNerds
PROWRESTLINGTEES.COM/TheChairshot – Makes a GREAT GIFT!!!
About Bandwagon Nerds
Join Patrick O’Dowd, David Ungar, PC Tunney, Rey Cash, and DPP as they keep everyone up on all things nerd and maybe add some new nerds along the way. It’s the Bandwagon Nerds Podcast!
About Chairshot Radio Network
Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY – Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY – 4 Corners Podcast (sports)
WEDNESDAY – The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY – POD is WAR
FRIDAY – DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY – The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY – Keeping the news ridiculous… The Oddity / The Front and Center Sports Podcast
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE’s PPV/PLE history)
http://TheChairshot.com PRESENTS…IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O’Dowd’s 5X5
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Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts… Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
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About Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
Classic POD is WAR
Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
Powered by RedCircle
Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!