Entertainment

Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (5/1/23)

THUNDER!

Published

2 years ago

May 1, 2023

Steven Mitchell

Who will have the advantage at ThunderStruck?

Before there can be a battle for the HPW Trios Championships in Blood & Thunder, management must decide who has the tactical advantage!

HPW Management once again meets at HQ.

General Manager Nicolas Foolyere, President Starfish McMaguro and COO Humpback Hook Halibut are back in the boardroom to discuss ThunderStruck 2’s HPW Trios Championship Blood & Thunder Match of the UnderWorldOrder, Arrow Club and the Dames of the Dunes. Starfish says, “Controversy seems to follow these titles around.” Foolyere says it also seems to follow the uWo. Hook says with no time to have representatives battle it out, it falls to the three of them to decide. That in itself doesn’t really seem fair, does it? Foolyere says it wasn’t fair for the uWo to cheat in order to be champions, this is management restoring balance.

Starfish says in that case, who would Foolyere favor in granting the advantage to? Well, who else? The former champions who were cheated. Riju, Buliara & Tali lost the titles because instead of a fair 3v3, it turned into 5v3 with Hollywood ReDead and Ted Beedle Ossi interfering. Starfish sees that logic. In fact, with them already putting a ringside ban in effect during Kage VS Skull Kid, perhaps they should do the same for the Blood & Thunder match. Hook asks, “But isn’t that what the cage is for?” Well, how many times in Hook’s wrestling career did he see cages in cage matches be completely ineffective against interference? Hook admits that’s a good point.

Starfish says that since it’s already two votes for the Dames between herself and Foolyere, it’s decided. The Dames will be given the one-up advantage every round, but then comes the other side: who would have the disadvantage, aka have their members sent out last? Foolyere says that is also rather easy to figure out. The uWo should be punished for cheating, so they should have the disadvantage. Hook agrees with that, as clearly fines don’t matter with Beedle around, and suspending the uWo while they are the champions would mean having to vacate the titles, and that just creates “a huge mess we shouldn’t have to clean up.”

Starfish says, “Then it’s final. The order of entry for the Blood & Thunder match will be the Dames of the Dunes first, Arrow Club second, and the uWo last.” The teams will be notified, and the match can go on. Will having the advantage help Riju, Buliara & Tali regain the gold that was stolen from them? Will the uWo find a way to win with the odds stacked against them? Or will Bad Croc Scaly & The Young Ducks be back on top?

My Thoughts:

Had to put this one together as both a formality and a necessity. I didn’t really schedule out the Trios title build that well this time, and should’ve made it clear much sooner that we’d get Blood & Thunder 2. But I can only do so much, as I’m truly a one man show here.

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MONDAY – Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY – Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)

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MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

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