Entertainment
Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu Results & Report! (6/16/24)
Life is as extreme as you wanna make it!
The Legend of Zelda: The Ring of Destiny, Chapter 59
HPW knows well that Wrestling Is Life, and it’s even better when you’re champion! Will Link still be living the good life after another battle with Yunobo?
OFFICIAL RESULTS
- HPW Death Mountain Championship Open Challenge: Thunderbird VS Zelda; Zelda wins and becomes the new HPW Death Mountain Champion.
- HPW Goddess Championship: Ruto VS Cia; Ruto wins and retains the title.
- HPW World Trios Championships: The Arrow Club VS The Dark Forces; Arrow Club wins and retains the titles.
- Million Rupee Championship Wrestling Roulette, Last Man Standing Match: Hollywood ReDead VS Kevin Gibdo; Kevin wins and becomes the new Million Rupee Champion.
- Undisputed HPW Triforce World Championship Steel Cage Match: Link VS Yunobo; Link wins and retains the title.
PLAY BY PLAY
HPW and HXS TV set the scene!
Everyone in Hyrule loves pro-wrestling as much as they love life, and as much as they love success. To be a champion is to succeed, so who gets to love life as a champion? Link must defend his title along with his innocence after Kage interfered and ruined the Undisputed HPW Triforce World Championship match at ThunderStruck. But to keep out any and all interlopers, The Hero of Hyrule must battle Yunobo inside a STEEL CAGE! Will Link escape with the gold? Or will he get rocked by the third-generation Goron star?
Speaking of ThunderStruck, The Dark Forces won big inside the double-cage, and now they’re cashing those golden tickets! Volga, Wizzro & Zant are aiming for Arrow Club’s World Trios Championships, and Kevin Gibdo is aiming right for Hollywood ReDead’s Million Rupee Championship! They made it work inside the Blood & Thunder, will Volga, Wizzro & Zant make for a golden trio? Will ReDead finally pay for all his crimes? Or will The Dark Forces fail to shine? There’s further high risk, high reward as Thunderbird is holding another Open Challenge! With endless possibilities, will he truly be ready for anything? HPW Wrestling Is Life on the Salari Plains starts now!
HPW Death Mountain Championship Open Challenge: Thunderbird VS ???
The Lucha Rito beat the Lucha Zora and Thunderbird reigned through ThunderStruck! But he won’t roost on his laurels, he’ll be a fighting champion! But who’s stepping up to face him? Wait, what? SHEIK? The theme song and the lighting is like that of Zelda’s Sheikah persona, and out walks someone in the black and blue ring gear with the wrapped up hands and face! “Sheik” goes to the ring, climbs up the corner and double throat slash poses, it’s like we’ve transported to over five years ago! And then “Sheik” takes off the head wrap and it’s Zelda after all! She smirks and swaggers around but Thunderbird seems confused. Is she trying to make a statement about something?
The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see who stands atop Death Mountain!
The bell rings and the two circle as fans rally up. They feel things out, knuckle lock, then they each break one! Zelda steps over first to cravat and snapmare, but Thunderbird slips out of the chinlock to go for the arm. Zelda rolls, Thunderbird rolls with her, and they both go for a HEEL HOOK! They both roll and have the ROPEBREAK! The fans cheer as the two let go and reset. The two circle again, go back to knuckle locks, but now Thunderbird wrenches and hammerlocks. Thunderbird headlocks, but Zelda pops out the back to hammerlock. Zelda then hits a headlock takeover, but Thunderbird headscissors. Zelda tries to kip out but Thunderbird holds on tight.
Zelda moves around, headstands, then sits down to trap Thunderbird’s legs while she pops out. Zelda pushes on the knees, Thunderbird swipes at her but she jumps on that arm. Zelda wants a Fujiwara but Thunderbird scrambles around, ROPEBREAK! Zelda lets off quickly and the fans cheer. Thunderbird gets up and the two reset. They circle, feel things out again, then Zelda shoots in for a leg. Thunderbird stays away, they circle more, and Zelda gets the leg on the second try. Zelda trips Thunderbird, pulls on the one leg, but Thunderbird fights the turnover. Thunderbird rolls and throws Zelda, but Zelda cartwheels through!
Zelda drops on Thunderbird for a headlock. Thunderbird pushes Zelda into the headscissors, but this time Zelda kips free. Thunderbird headlocks Zelda for the takeover, and he shrugs the headscissors. Zelda fights around, rolls Thunderbird to a cover, ONE! Thunderbird grinds the headlock and the fans rally up. Zelda powers up to her feet, powers out, but Thunderbird ducks ‘n’ dodges to then tilt-o-whirl RANA! Zelda bails out while the fans fire up, and Thunderbird builds speed! Zelda hurries out of the way but Thunderbird springboards, backflips, and hits the superhero landing! The fans fire up but Zelda is annoyed.
Zelda goes up to the apron, wants Thunderbird to back off, and the ref has him stay back. Zelda slides in, circles with Thunderbird, and tie up collar ‘n’ elbow. Zelda headlocks, shifts sides, spins around to hammerlock. Thunderbird reaches back, then jumps for a flying-mare! Thunderbird chinlocks but Zelda wrenches right out and has the hammerlock again. Zelda pulls on the arm while grinding Thunderbird on the mat. Thunderbird endures, the fans rally up, but Zelda SNAP LOCKS the arm! Thunderbird still endures, Zelda cranks the hammerlock, and then BRIDGES over! Thunderbird endures and the fans fire up!
Thunderbird kicks around, reaches out, and Zelda resets out of the bridge. Thunderbird scrambles forward, ROPEBREAK! Zelda holds on until the ref starts counting, and she lets go at 4. The fans applaud while Thunderbird goes to the apron. Zelda storms up and grabs at Thunderbird, but he HOTSHOTS her away! Thunderbird then takes aim, springboards in and MISSILE DROPKICKS! The fans fire up while Zelda tumbles out of the ring! Thunderbird fires up and builds speed, and FOSBURY FLOPS! Direct hit and the fans fire up more! Thunderbird hurries to get Zelda up and into the ring, then aims from the apron.
Zelda stands up, Thunderbird springboards and CROSSBODIES! Thunderbird bounces off the cover but aims from the corner! Zelda stands back up, Thunderbird runs up, WHITE LIGHT- NO, Zelda avoids the flying kick! Thunderbird clutches his leg after the crash landing, and Zelda runs up to PENALTY KICK! Cover, TWO! Zelda stays focused and stalks Thunderbird. Thunderbird goes to ropes, Zelda grabs the bad arm and wraps it around ropes! The ref counts, the fans are torn, but Zelda lets off at 4. Zelda then wrenches the arm, whips, but only to flip Thunderbird and WRING the arm out! Thunderbird clutches the arm while fans rally.
Zelda stalks Thunderbird, runs up, PENALTY KICK to the bad arm! Thunderbird flounders and writhes, Zelda stalks him again, and she goes for the chicken wing! Thunderbird reaches out for ropes as he and Zelda go around and around. Thunderbird uses that to throw Zelda out of the ring! The fans fire up, Thunderbird builds speed again, but Zelda slides in! Thunderbird has to bail out of the dive, and Zelda comes back to WRECK him with a dropkick! Thunderbird staggers into barriers, Zelda goes out to fetch him back into the ring. Zelda hurries to pump handle and cradle, MINUET OF FOREST! Cover, TWO!!
The fans fire up as Thunderbird narrowly escapes! Zelda goes after the bad arm again but Thunderbird rolls and reels Zelda in and drags her into an ARMBAR! Zelda endures, clasps hands, and kicks around. Thunderbird clubs at the grip, pulls at the arm, but Zelda fights to stack him! TWO as Thunderbird lets go! They both get up, and Zelda HYLIAN KISS HEADBUTTS! The fans fire up while Thunderbird falls over! Zelda steadies herself, then roars! The fans fire up with her, and she gets Thunderbird by the wrists. Zelda sits him up, for LIGHT- NO, Thunderbird ducks under the knee and sunset flips, TWO! Zelda sits on the cover, TWO!
Thunderbird has another sunset, TWO! Zelda sits on the cover again, TWO! Thunderbird sunset flips but Zelda rolls through! Thunderbird ducks the Penalty Kick this time, rolls her up, TWO, but Thunderbird holds onto a leg! Thunderbird turns Zelda over for a HALF CRAB! Zelda endures, reaches out, but Thunderbird drags her back! The fans fire up and duel, Zelda powers up and tucks under! Zelda rolls through, kicks Thunderbird with her free leg and he lets go. Thunderbird rebounds to rolling jackknife! TWO and Zelda bridges up! Zelda spins Thunderbird around, tries to backslide back, but Thunderbird rolls through!
Thunderbird STOMPS Zelda’s hands! Then BUZZSAWS! Zelda sputters, Thunderbird traps an arm and LA MAGISTROL! TWO, the two roll and roll and roll and roll in a cradle, and Thunderbird ends up on top, TWO! Zelda shifts and rolls Thunderbird to a ghost pin! She grabs a leg for the DUNGEON TRAP! ZELDA WINS!!
Winner: Zelda, by pinfall (NEW HPW Death Mountain Champion)
Everyone is in shock, but especially Thunderbird! The Princess of Hyrule is once again champion in HPW, but more importantly, she offers a handshake to Thunderbird. Thunderbird stares at the hand, then just leaves? The fans boo Thunderbird being a poor sport. But will this title change set the tone for the rest of tonight?
HPW Goddess Championship: Ruto VS Cia!
The Zora Princess surprised Midna at HyruleMania 4, and relaxed a bit during the Triforce Tournament, but she has her first defense against the Dark Sorceress! Will Cia bring this title back to the Dark Forces? Or will those hopes and dreams be washed away by Ruto’s reign?
The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see who is the alpha female of Hyrule!
The bell rings and the two stare down while the fans rally up. The two approach, feel things out, and then Ruto sidesteps Cia to strut about. This is already like the Mixed Tag at ThunderStruck, but Cia isn’t having it! She runs up on Ruto and grabs at her! Ruto uses the ropes as a defense, and referee Maron Ron Ron has Cia back off. Cia is seething but Ruto is smirking. Ruto slowly leaves the ropes, she and Cia reset and the fans rally up again. The two feel things out, but then Ruto bails out of the ring. Ruto soaks up the heat but Cia furiously pursues. Ruto leads Cia on a chase around the outside, then Ruto slides in.
Cia slides in after Ruto, and Ruto drops an elbow on her! Ruto HAMMERS away on Cia, then goes for an arm. Cia rolls, spins, and she wrangles Ruto into a headlock! Ruto endures, rolls Cia to a cover, TWO! Cia holds on, Ruto fights up to her feet, and Ruto throws body shots. Ruto powers up and out, but Cia runs Ruto over! The fans rally up, Cia runs but Ruto stays low. Ruto then jumps up to hurdle, drops down again, but Cia leaps over the monkey flip! Ruto gets up, runs up, but Cia rolls her up! TWO, the two stand off, and the fans cheer! Cia and Ruto both catch their breath and reset. They stand and circle again.
The two feel things out again, and then they both block a kick! They argue about who lets who go, and agree to let go at the same time. They both let the other’s foot down slowly, but then they both still hold on! The arguing continues and now it’s a bit of a blame game. They both claim they’ll let go, and start to lower the feet down. They both let off cleanly, and the fans applaud. And then they both SLAP the other! The fans fire up while both Cia and Ruto are furious! They both run up and start firing furious fists! The fans go wild as the two go around, Maron reprimanding about closed fists! Then Ruto pulls Cia’s hair!
Maron reprimands as Ruto puts Cia in the corner. Ruto CHOPS Cia, then cravats Cia into the ropes! Ruto grinds Cia’s face into the rope while Maron reprimands. Maron counts, Ruto lets off at 4, and she stalks Cia to another corner. Ruto stomps Cia down, then digs her boot in. Maron reprimands and counts, the fans are torn, and Ruto lets off at 4. Ruto struts around, then goes back to Cia. Ruto whips corner to corner, then runs in and RAMS into Cia! Ruto rolls back, runs up again and clotheslines! Ruto shoves Cia out of the corner to then go up the corner. Cia staggers up, Ruto FLYING SUNSET FLIPS! TWO!
Cia flounders out of the ring but Ruto goes to the apron. Ruto aims, and she PENALTY KICKS Cia down! The fans are torn but Ruto revels in it all. Ruto steps back into the ring and struts around, letting the ring count start. Cia sits up at 3 of 10, uses the apron skirt to help her stand, and she rolls in at 6. Ruto storms back up to stomp Cia at the ropes! Maron reprimands, Ruto lets off, but then drags Cia up to whip to ropes. Cia ducks ‘n’ dodges, then tilt-o-whirls, and slips into an IRON OCTOROC! Ruto endures while the fans rally up! Ruto reaches out, stomps her way over, but Cia pulls back on the arm! Ruto still endures, and just puts her face on the ropes for the ROPEBREAK!
The fans are torn, Maron counts, and Cia lets off at 4. Ruto shakes her arm out while she bails out to the apron. But then Cia runs to WRECK her with a dropkick to the back! Ruto falls hard and the fans lose their mind over the savagery! Cia then storms out to drag Ruto up, feint putting her in the ring to RAM her into barriers! Ruto clutches her bad arm and hobbles away, only for Cia to pursue. Cia SMACKS Ruto off the apron, then grabs the bad arm. Cia wrenches and hammerlocks the arm, and then scoops to SLAM Ruto on the floor! Ruto writhes and clutches her bad arm, and Cia refreshes the ring count.
Cia drags Ruto up, hammerlocks the arm again, but Ruto kicks off the apron to push Cia into the barriers! Ruto back elbows Cia, then ROCKS her with another elbow! The fans are torn as Ruto pushes Cia around, but then Cia KICKS the bad arm! Ruto clutches the bad elbow, then Cia SIDE LEG SWEEPS Ruto into the barriers! A touch double-edged but Cia walks it off. Cia stomps Ruto, but the ring count is now 5 of 10. Cia drags Ruto up and puts her in the ring at 7, the fans cheer, and Cia keeps Ruto from scrambling away. Cia drags Ruto back to center, and drops DOUBLE KNEES on the bad arm!
Ruto writhes, Cia goes after the bad arm but Ruto scrambles to the ROPEBREAK! Cia lets off, Maron checks Ruto as Ruto stands. Ruto reaches out with the bad arm, and Cia rolls under to then PELE the bad arm! Ruto staggers, Cia reels her in, BACKSTABBER! Roll back and BLACK MAGIC!! Ruto endures as Cia has the bad arm caught! Wait, what’s Torbevito doing coming out here? This is just like with Midna at HyruleMania, isn’t it? Torbevito coaches Ruto from the apron, or rather on the apron! Maron reprimands and tells him to get down, and misses Ruto BITING Cia’s hand!! The fans boo, Cia lets go, Ruto stands up to DOUBLE STOMP her!
Cia sputters and coughs, Torbevito finally steps away. Ruto drags Cia up, hooks a leg, FISHERMAN BUSTER CRADLE!! Cover, Ruto wins!
Winner: Ruto, by pinfall (still HPW Goddess Champion)
The fans boo but there’s nothing that can be done! Ruto had Torbevito help her reel this one in, #HookLine&Sinker! Will nothing stop the Zora Princess’ reign over Hyrule?
HPW World Trios Championships: The Arrow Club VS The Dark Forces!
We just saw the ladies fight it out, and well, it was controversial but Ruto scored one for the Club! Fin Balure & The Young Ducks now step up and defend their newly minted world titles! Will they keep Arrow Club on top? Or will Volga, Wizzro & Zant make Ganon proud of them all?
The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see if teamwork makes the dream work!
The trios sort out and Mack starts for Arrow Club. Volga wants to start but Zant insists. Volga concedes and lets Zant start, and the bell rings. Zant gives a thumbs up, turns around, and Mack SUPERKICKS him! The fans fire up as Zant flounders away to ropes! Arrow Club laughs at Zant while Volga makes sure Zant is alright. Zant says he’s fine and he gets back on his feet. Zant steadies himself, circles with Mack, and they tie up. Zant headlocks, grinds the hold, but Mack powers up and out. Zant runs Mack over, then keeps moving. Mack stays low, then gets up to arm-drag, but Zant handsprings through to hip toss!
The fans cheer as Zant waits on Mack. Mack gets up, Zant pushes and whips but Mack reverses. Zant ducks ‘n’ dodges, tilt-o-whirls and RANAS! The fans cheer again and Zant’s all fired up. Maybe a little too fired up as he asks his teammates, “You see that?! That was smooth, right?” Mack tags Rick, Rick hops in, and Zant turns around into another SUPERKICK! The fans fire up and Rick covers, TWO! Zant survives and scrambles away to the Dark Forces’ corner. Zant clings to Volga and the fans laugh a bit. Volga sighs and assures Zant he’s okay. Volga tags Zant in and circles with Rick now.
Rick and Volga tie up, go around, and Rick headlocks. Rick hits the takeover, Volga headscissors, Rick kips free. Volga headlocks, hits the takeover, but Rick kips free. Volga avoids the headlock takeover, runs up, but Rick avoids the stomp! Rick shows superkick but Volga backs up, and the fans cheer the standoff. The two reset, circle and feel things out, but then they both go to sucker punch someone else! Volga knocks Mack down, Rick does the same to Wizzro, Fin and Zant protest, and then Volga and Rick turn around and see what the other did! They get mad at each other and start throwing fast hands!
The fans fire up as the hockey scrum keeps going, and then Mack and Wizzro get in! Mack and Wizzro pull Volga and Rick apart, only for Volga and Rick to DECK Mack and Wizzro! Zant runs up but Rick SUPERKICKS him! Fin runs up but Volga denies the Slingblade to reel him in for a SLINGBLADE! Then the hockey scrum continues! The fans fire up, Volga gets the edge as he ROCKS Rick again and again and again! Volga roars and ROLLING ELBOWS! Cover, TWO! Volga drags Rick back up and tags in Wizzro. The Dark Forces mug Rick, the ref counts, and Volga lets off at 4. Wizzro digs his boots in, the ref counts again, and Wizzro lets off at 4.
Wizzro brings Rick up, and Zant tags himself in! The others are a little confused but Zant eagerly stomps away on Rick while the ref ushers Wizzro out. Zant brings Rick up, cravats and has the neck wrench. The fans rally while Rick endures and reaches out. Zant keeps Rick from his corner, rams his shoulder in, then snapmares. Zant clamps on a chinlock and he grinds Rick down. The fans rally, Rick fights up and reaches out, but Zant CLUBS him on the neck! Zant whips Rick to the Dark Forces corner, then taunts Arrow Club. Zant runs up but Rick BOOTS him away! Rick ELBOWS Volga, DECKS Wizzro, then SUPERKICKS Zant!
The fans fire up as Rick hurries to his corner, but Volga slides in! The ref is busy with Volga, so he misses the hot tag to Fin! The fans fire up but then the ref stops Fin! Fin defends he tagged in but the ref didn’t see! The fans boo, and Volga helps Zant get back to their corner. Volga goes to the apron, calls to the ref, and the ref sees this tag happen. Volga storms up as Rick reluctantly gets back in, they circle and feel things out. They knuckle lock, but then Volga breaks one and wrenches to wrangle Rick. Rick bridges, rolls back and he turns the wristlock around on Volga. Volga spins and slips in to wrench back, then he CLUBS the arm.
Volga YANKS the arm, wrenches again, then whips. Rick ducks ‘n’ dodges, tilt-o-whirls and arm-drags! Volga staggers up, into another arm-drag! And then a DROPKICK! Volga tumbles out of the ring, Rick goes to the apron. Rick runs up to PENALTY KICK Volga down! The fans fire up, Rick hurries to get Volga up and in. Rick pushes Volga to a cover, TWO! Rick anchors Volga, Mack tags in, and he drops an elbow on Volga. Mack covers, ONE! Mack keeps Volga down with an armlock while the fans rally. Volga fights up, throws body shots, then ROCKS Mack. Volga runs, but Mack gets around to waistlock, only for Volga to fight the lift!
Volga throws some elbows, but Mack ducks one to let Volga spin around, into the NORTHERN LIGHTS! Mack rolls back to NORTHERN LIGHTS again! The Polar Express is starting up! Wizzro runs in, but Mack gets him, too! DOUBLE NORTHERN LIGHTS! The fans fire up and Mack still rolls through! Zant runs in, Rick gets in and he catches Zant! The Ducks coordinate, TRIPLE NORTHERN LIGHTS! The fans are thunderous as Mack bridging covers on Volga and Wizzro, TWO! The fans stay fired up, and Rick drags Zant out of the ring. The ref gets Wizzro to leave, and Mack brings Volga back up.
Mack fireman’s carries and calls to Rick. Rick climbs the corner, Mack ROLLING SENTONS! Rick 450 SPLASHES! Then Mack goes up to MOONSAULT! #MoreBangForYourDuck! Mack covers, Zant breaks it! The fans fire up, Rick whips Zant but Zant reverses to TOSS Rick! Mack SUPERKICKS Zant! Wizzro runs up, Mack sends him at the corner! Mack runs up, he and Fin DOUBLE GIRI Wizzro down! But Volga runs up to waistlock Mack in the corner! Volga O’Conner Rolls, Fin hurries in but Wizzro anchors his foot! Cover, TWO!! Mack sends Volga into Fin, then Mack rolls Volga up! But the ref’s telling Wizzro and Fin to get out!
The fans boo, “REF YOU SUCK! REF YOU SUCK!” The ref finally sees the roll-up, TWO! Mack is upset with the ref, but then Volga rolls him up! TWO!! Mack almost got caught, SUPER- NO, Volga dodges the kick! SLINGBLADE! The fans fire up, Volga hurries up a corner! Zant tags in right before the FROG SPLASH! Volga covers but the ref tells him Zant tagged in! Volga is confused and upset, but he calls Zant in and drags Mack up. Zant goes to the apron and he fires up. The fans fire up and Zant gets more fired up! Maybe too fired up! Zant aims, springboards, but Mack switches, Volga takes the FLYING CODE BREAKER!
The fans go nuts and Zant freaks out! Zant apologizes to Volga, but turns around into a SUPERKICK! Mack tags in Fin, then drags Volga out along the apron. Rick gets up on the apron, DRAPING 450 to the floor! Fin goes up and aims at Zant, COUP DE GRACE!! Cover, Arrow Club wins!
Winners: Arrow Club, by pinfall (still HPW World Trios Championships)
The new trio of Volga, Wizzro & Zant could NOT meld together, and so they fell apart! Arrow Club is still golden through the night, will they make it reign through the summer? As for Dark Forces, they have one last chance, can they still hit the jackpot?
Million Rupee Championship Wrestling Roulette: Hollywood ReDead VS Kevin Gibdo!
This grudge goes all the way back to the beginning of The UnderWorld Order, when ReDead betrayed The Dark Forces for his own gain. But now, The Top Gibdo looks to take away what ReDead created! Will Kevin bring gold to the Dark Forces? Or will luck be on ReDead’s side?
After both men make their entrance, the roulette wheel is brought on stage! The fans cheer as HPW General Manager, Nicolas Foolyere, gives it a spin! The real goes around and around, and it finally lands on… LAST MAN STANDING! ReDead doesn’t like that, but he doesn’t have much of a choice. The belt is raised, and so are the stakes as these two fight to settle the score!
The bell rings and the two go right after each other with fast hands! The fans fire up as they brawl at the center of the ring, neither one backing down! They do slow down a bit, though, and they go back and forth with big haymakers! Kevin ROCKS ReDead, and ROCKS him again, and again! Kevin whips, but ReDead reverses, and ReDead BOOTS Kevin down! ReDead fires up, but Kevin’s right back up! Kevin BOOTS ReDead down and the fans fire up! Referee Tiger Sahasrahla counts but ReDead stands before 3 of 10. ReDead swings on Kevin but Kevin bobs ‘n’ weaves then ROCKS ReDead again! ReDead staggers to a corner and Kevin stomps away on him!
The fans fire up as Kevin doesn’t have to stop stomping! Kevin stomps that mudhole in for TEN, then TWENTY! Kevin is fired up, the fans are fired up, and ReDead sputters as he crawls along the bottom rope. Kevin stalks ReDead, drags him up, and ROCKS him again. Kevin then scoops ReDead to hit SNAKE EYES! Kevin runs side to side and he BOOTS ReDead back down! The fans fire up, Sahasrahla starts the standing count, but ReDead hurries to roll out of the ring. ReDead uses that to stand up before 5 of 10, but Kevin pursues! Kevin storms in from around the way to ROCK ReDead again!
The fans fire up as Kevin pushes ReDead into barriers, and then grinds forearms into ReDead’s face! The front row is especially fired up! Kevin ROCKS ReDead again, follows him to the ramp side, then CLUBS him on the back. Kevin whips ReDead hard into barriers and fans fire up more. ReDead staggers away but Kevin follows around the corner. Kevin CLUBS ReDead, CLUBS him again, then whips, but ReDead reverses! Now Kevin is sent into barriers! ReDead runs up to clotheslines Kevin against barriers! Kevin doesn’t quite go up and over, so ReDead DUMPS him over into the timekeeper’s area! The fans boo but ReDead tells them to shut up.
ReDead leaves Kevin behind to go looking under the ring while Sahasrahla starts the standing count. Kevin flounders around at 2 of 10, drags himself up at 4 and staggers away from the timekeeper’s area at 6. The fans cheer, but ReDead’s got a chair! ReDead runs up to JAM Kevin low! The fans boo but ReDead SMACKS Kevin on the back! And SMACKS him again! And again! ReDead storms into the ring and tells Sahasrahla to count. Sahasrahla starts the count, the fans rally for Kevin, but ReDead tells the fans to shut up again. The fans boo while the count reaches 4 of 10. Kevin pushes himself up at 6, and stands just after 7.
ReDead storms back out there with his chair, and he SMACKS Kevin right back down! The fans boo, he taunts them by sticking his tongue out and making faces. The standing count reaches 3 but Kevin drags himself up with the apron skirt. ReDead sits the chair up, then stalks Kevin. ReDead SMACKS Kevin off the apron, then makes him take a seat in the chair. ReDead throws down some fists, then gets space. ReDead runs back up, but Kevin gets up to CLOBBER ReDead first! The fans fire up, Kevin gets to his feet and brings ReDead around. Kevin SMACKS ReDead off the chair, then makes him take a seat.
Kevin goes around the back of the chair, and he grabs ReDead’s arms! Kevin pulls on the arms while pushing a foot into the back of the chair! ReDead can only suffer while the fans fire up! Kevin finally lets off, and ReDead clutches his right arm while Kevin looks under the ring. Kevin brings out another chair! Kevin takes aim, but ReDead moves and Kevin SMACKS chair against chair! The recoil makes him lose his grip, and ReDead storms up to throw hands! Kevin throws shots back but ReDead kicks low. ReDead SMACKS Kevin off steel steps, then shoves him into barriers! ReDead hurries back to grab a chair.
The fans boo while ReDead storms back after Kevin, but then Kevin BOOTS the chair into ReDead! ReDead falls over, narrowly missing the steps, and the fans fire up again. Sahasrahla starts the standing count but ReDead is already crawling. Kevin pulls the steel steps apart and picks up the top part! ReDead stands, turns around, and GONG, Kevin runs him down with the steps! The fans fire up again as ReDead falls over! Sahasrahla counts, ReDead flounders around at 3 of 10, crawls for the corner at 5 of 10, and drags himself up with the apron skirt to stand at 7. But Kevin aims with the steps again! ReDead dives out of the way, steps hit POST!
ReDead is freaking out as Kevin storms up on him. ReDead hurries away but Kevin pursues. They hurry up the ramp, Sahasrahla doing his best to keep up. Kevin catches up to ReDead on stage and DECKS him! ReDead flounders back up, heading for commentary! Rusl is upset, he thought the special stage seating was gonna keep them away from the action tonight! Kevin storms over after ReDead and BOOTS him into the desk! Rusl saves his drink and just gets outta the way entirely! Kevin SMACKS ReDead off the desk, and SMACKS him off it again and again and again! Kevin then choke grips ReDead!
BUT THE UWO ATTACKS! The fans boo and Sahasrahla reprimands but there’s nothing to stop Death Sword, Gomess and Scaldera from mugging Kevin! ReDead tells them to beat Kevin down, and then ReDead clears the desk. ReDead shouts at Shad and Telma and they get out of there while the fans boo more. Gomess reels Kevin in, Death Sword and Scaldera help him lift Kevin into the crucifix, RAZOR’S EDGE through the desk!! Fans lose their minds while the uWo all cheers what they’ve done. Sahasrahla hesitates, and ReDead shouts at him to count! Sahasrahla counts, even as the boos come pouring in.
The count passes 5 of 10 and Kevin is still down. The uWo continues to gloat, Scaldera raising ReDead’s hand in victory already. The count is 7 and Kevin isn’t even stirring! But then he sits right up at 8!! It startles Sahasrahla and the fans go nuts again! The uWo turns around to see Kevin standing up! They rush in, but Kevin DECKS Scaldera, ELBOWS Death Sword, and BOOTS Gomess! ReDead CLUBS Kevin, CLUBS him again, but Kevin choke grips! And he looks to the edge of the stage! ReDead pleads with Kevin while the fans are already freaking out. Kevin CHOKE SLAMS ReDead off the stage and down through tables!!
Fans lose their minds while Kevin looms over the wreckage. The uWo freaks out, and while Gomess & Death Sword go after Kevin, Scaldera hurries down to get ReDead. The fans boo as Gomess & Death Sword throw hands, but Kevin fights them back. Finally Volga & Wizzro run out to help! They outnumber the wrestling reapers 3v2, but Scaldera is helping ReDead stand up! But Sahasrahla says that doesn’t count, Scaldera is propping ReDead up! Scaldera stands ReDead up straight, then steps away. Scaldera says, “See? He’s up!” But then ReDead falls right over! Scaldera panics, but then Volga FLIES off the stage! Direct hit and down goes Scaldera!
The fans fire up, Wizzro becomes Kevin’s weapon, and Kevin THROWS Wizzro to topple Death Sword & Gomess over! Sahasrahla counts, ReDead is still down at 5 of 10! And 7! 8! ReDead feebly reaches out for the stage at 9, but he’s still down! KEVIN WINS!!
Winner: Kevin Gibdo (NEW Million Rupee Champion)
The fans go wild as Hollywood ReDead is finally humbled! The Dark Forces won’t leave here empty handed, will things finally start looking up for them?
The clock is ticking.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. HPW is melding past and future. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. HPW is also picking up speed. HPW is going to reach… Termina Velocity! That’s right, HPW is heading back across the border to the wild, wild west of wrestling! Synchronize your watches, because July 4th will see fireworks at 6 PM local time and not a minute later! Who will challenge The Gerudo Ace, Ganon, for that Termina Championship? Will Ganon’s reign of terror finally reach its final hour?
Yunobo goes to gorilla position.
But waiting there for him is Arrow Club. They all applaud, and Fin says he knew Yunobo had it in him to get this rematch. And a steel cage? What a great idea! Yunobo hesitantly thanks them, but isn’t sure why they’re here. Finn says they got him something for the occasion. Bad Croc Scaly brings out a shiny gold lucha mask. Yunobo does like the look, very reminiscent of Ultimo Goro. Yunobo accepts the mask and thanks them for it, and Fin insists Yunobo wear it out there. Really? The whole group agrees, so Yunobo says okay. Yunobo puts the mask on, and takes a deep breath as he feels how it fits.
“So,” Fin asks. “You ready, champ?” Yunobo takes another deep breath, and says, “Oooooh yeeeeah…!” Fin grins, pats Yunobo on the shoulder, and Yunobo storms out through the curtain, Arrow Club following behind.
Undisputed HPW Triforce World Championship Steel Cage Match: Link VS Yunobo!
The Hero of Hyrule and the third-generation Gerudo star were putting on a match worthy of this title for ThunderStruck, but then Kage had to cast his shadow on it all! Link defends his innocence, but now he’ll have to defend his title under dangerous circumstances! Will Link prove he didn’t need his brother to save him? Or will Yunobo win this one for his bloodline?
The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and it’s time to rage in the cage!
The bell rings, and the fans are fired up for Link as he and Yunobo circle. Yunobo swings, Link avoids those hands, and he UPPERCUTS! Yunobo doesn’t budge!? Yunobo storms up, Link gets around to waistlock, then headlocks, but Yunobo THROWS him off! Yunobo roars and flexes but Link isn’t intimidated. Yunobo rushes in, Link drops, hurdles, then SUPERKICKS! Yunobo wobbles, Link brings him over, but Yunobo blocks being sent into the steel! Yunobo ELBOWS Link, scoops him, and aims for steel! Link slips free to shove Yunobo at steel! Yunobo stops himself again, but Link HOOK SHOTS!
Link throws hands in the corner but Yunobo pushes him away. Link runs back in but into a LARIAT! The fans are torn but Arrow Cub cheers while Yunobo seethes. Yunobo drags Link up to THROW him into the steel! Link falls, scraping against steel! Link drags himself up with the ropes, but Yunobo grabs him! Yunobo dribbles Link off the steel again and again and again! The fans are torn again but Fin says keep on him! Yunobo runs Link to the side to THROW him into the frame! Link falls in a heap, Yunobo soaks up the cheers and jeers, and Arrow Club applauds. Tiger Sahasrahla checks on Link, and he is busted open!
Yunobo storms back over to Link and stomps him down! The fans boo as Yunobo sits Link up, and punches right on the open wound! Yunobo sees the blood on his hand, and he smears the blood on himself as a badge of honor! Yunobo drags Link back up to THROW him into the steel again! Link staggers around, Yunobo storms up, and Link throw hands! Yunobo knees low, reels Link in, lifts, and POWERBOMBS Link into the steel! Arrow Club cheers as Link scrapes back down the cage. Yunobo storms up and again punches the bloody wound. Yunobo drags Link up to WALLOP him, and stalks Link as he hobbles around. Yunobo BOOTS Link through the ropes!
Link dangles from the ropes, upside-down and contorted as he’s stuck between ropes and steel. Torbevito mocks Link right to his face while Yunobo soaks up the heat. Yunobo storms up, pushes the cage wall, and YANKS it back into Link! And again! And again! And again! Arrow Club applauds as Link slumps over onto the apron. Link feebly reaches up but Yunobo drags him up, just to TOSS him across the way! Link flounders, Yunobo storms over, and Yunobo facelocks, for a deadlift suplex and TOSS! Link hits the mat hard again, and flounders into a corner. Fans boo but Arrow Club chants “One More Time! One More Time!”
Yunobo storms up on Link, brings him around, and reels him back in. Yunobo suplexes, but Link fights with knees! Link goes to suplex, but Yunobo’s just too big! Yunobo suplexes Link, but Link slips free! But Yunobo ducks the Hook Shot! And ENZIGIRIS! Link staggers around, rebounds off ropes, into a GORON DROP! Cover, TWO! Link sputters, partly from the crimson mask forming on his face, but the fans rally up. Arrow Club tells Yunobo to stay on Link, so Yunobo runs and somersaults, ROLLING THUNDER! Another cover, TWO!! Link survives being squashed twice and Arrow Club is growing frustrated.
Yunobo drags Link up, whips him to ropes, but Link holds ropes to stop himself. Yunobo runs up, Link dodges the boot, and Yunobo gets stuck on the top rope! Link SUPERKICKS Yunobo! Yunobo wobbles, still stuck in the ropes. Link reels Yunobo into a fireman’s carry! The fans are going nuts, Arrow Club is panicking, but then Link flops over under Yunobo’s weight! Arrow Club then laughs, and Mack points out the big red spot left on the mat. Yunobo drags Link up, fireman’s carries him, and goes to the corner! Yunobo climbs the corner, and now fans freak out as Yunobo goes to the top rope! But Link fights with elbows!
Link slips down to stand on the top rope, steadies himself, and then jumps to SUPER SUNSET FLIP POWERBOMB!! The fans go nuts, Arrow Club freaks out, and honestly, how did the ring not break?! Link covers, TWO!! Yunobo survives and the fans are fired up again! Link drags himself up with the ropes, frustration clear through the crimson mask. Link hobbles over, brings Yunobo up, but Yunobo picks him up and RAMS him into a corner! And RAMS him again and again and again! Yunobo digs his shoulder in, Link CLUBS away, but Yunobo lets off to ROCK Link with a forearm! Yunobo then whips Link corner to corner hard!
Link slumps down, Yunobo runs in, CANNONBALL! Yunobo drags Link to a cover, TWO! Yunobo is furious and storms around. Yunobo watches Link stir, and he aims from a corner. Link slowly rises, Yunobo shouts “GOOOORRROOO~!” and runs in, but into a MASTER SWORD!! Link hobbles and clutches his knee. Seems hitting a Goron in the head is double-edged. But Link storms up on Yunobo, reels him in, and manages to suplex! FALCON ARROW!! The fans are thunderous, and Link crawls back to the corner. Link skins the cat to go up, but Torbevito rattles the cage! The fans boo but Yunobo gets up to grab Link!
Yunobo ROCKET LAUNCHES Link off the corner! Yunobo loads up again, but here comes TSDQ! The Studly Don’t Quit, and they watch out for their friend! Groose, Tingle, Skull Kid & Ladrona brawl with Arrow Club, but that’s still 4v6! Fin tells Yunobo to focus, and Yunobo sees Link in a corner. Yunobo runs in, but Link drops under! The Gore Goro sends Yunobo into the POST!! Fans lose their minds, and even Link is stunned. Link goes to bring Yunobo out of the corner, but his big body is wedged in there! Link looks at the cage itself, and seeing as it’s still standing, he decides to climb! The fans cheer as Link heads for the top!
The Studly still brawl with Arrow Club, but Scaly sees Link climbing! Scaly storms around the outside to that corner, and Yunobo manages to get himself free of the post. Link reaches the top, and he sees Scaly waiting down below on the outside. Link looks back and sees Yunobo waiting on the inside. Link looks between the two, takes a breath and sighs, to then CORKSCREW MOONSAULT OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE!!! #BreathoftheWild!! Direct hit onto Yunobo!! The fans are losing their minds while everyone else, from Arrow Club to The Studly, are just standing there, stunned by what just happened! Link crawls to a cover, LINK WINS!!!
Winner: Link, by pinfall (still Undisputed HPW Triforce World Championship)
What an insane way to win! Link can barely sit up but he’s the one standing tall! The Studly get the ring door open and get inside to make sure he’s safe, and Arrow Club is absolutely beside themselves! If not even being stuck in a cage with a powerhouse like Yunobo can stop the Hero of Hyrule, what can?
My Thoughts:
Woo, the first ever HPW WIL is done! I wasn’t super confident in the decisions, but it just felt like the right times for Zelda to win a new title and for ReDead to lose his title. Zelda is of course poking fun at the Teba/Thunderbird identity mystery, maybe there’ll be confirmation of that, maybe their won’t. And then, gotta build that Dark Forces story. Cia and the trio lost but Kevin getting revenge on ReDead felt like the right move. And yeah, Link retained, but I was more unsure about who’d help him against Arrow Club. It could’ve been Kage but TSDQ also needed something to do, so them going after the trios champs works.
About Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
Classic POD is WAR
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Let’s Go Crazy! Let’s Get Nuts!
HyruleMania 5 approaches, and Kevin Gibdo must defend the Million Rupee Championship against Majora, who has something “special” in mind…
The Wrestling Roulette is spinning.
The wheel sits in a dark room, and the moon is visible through a round window. Majora says, “The moon goes through phases. It shows us different faces. The tides ebb and flow, going high and low, and put us through our paces. You think you can keep gambling? You think you can keep winning? You think you can survive as the wheel keeps spinning? Then let it go round ‘n’ round, round after round, and we’ll see who falls to the ground.” The wheel stops spinning, and lands on SPINNER’S CHOICE! Majora then busts through the wheel and gets right in the camera!
“Luck? Chance? Fate? Order? Chaos? W̸͉͚̫͎͎̎͗H̵͈̼̾̈́͋̅̆O̶͕̱͌͐͆̕ ̵̼̪̔̐̿̽C̶̭̫̉͘A̵̦̔̀̊͑͘Ŗ̸̡͓̘̀Ë̶̟͍̞̗́͒̀́͘͜Ş̵͎̩̹̈́͋̚͜?! What matters is victory and defeat! Controlling what you can control! And I swear that no matter what the wheel gives us, I will take that title from you! I use Spinner’s Choice to declare… MOON MADNESS!! Every three minutes, the wheel will spin and CHANGE match! Could you imagine the possibilities?! It makes my head spin!” And then his head spins!! Majora laughs maniacally, then his head stops so that it’s sideways. “There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I’m about to cross that line, care to join me?” Majora has set the terms, will Kevin Gibdo succumb to Moon Madness?
My Thoughts:
Here I go again, trying to be really innovative and over the top. I almost thought adding stipulation on top of stipulation would work, but in many cases, there are match types that contradict each other. A peak behind the curtain of kayfabe here where I could just choose the stipulations that don’t do that, but it might also just be easier from a writing standpoint to just do away with contradictions and redundancies and just have this match constantly make left turns into new territory. Get ready for a wild ride on this one!
About Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
Classic POD is WAR
Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
Powered by RedCircle
Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
Entertainment
Hockey Talk- Winter (Classic) Is Coming [121724]
Hockey Talk looks at Alex Ovechkin’s recovery and when he might be back. Plus, the Winter Classic fast approaches. Is Chicago ready?
In this week’s edition of Hockey Talk, the guys discuss Alex Ovechkin’s pending return and whether this might mean the Caps could get better than they have already been. The Winter Classic will be coming to us from Wrigley Feild on New Year’s Eve, with Patrick’s St. Louis Blues tangling with the Chicago Blackhawks. The guys take a look at this game and discuss how things have changed since Wrigley last hosted the Winter Classic in 2009. The NHL will be selecting its Quarter Century teams over the next month or so and the fellas discuss who will be shoo ins and also speculate as to some possible deep cuts for some well-known teams.
Today’s hosts are Dave Ungar (@AttitudeAgg) and Patrick O’Dowd (@WrestlngRealist).
- Alex Ovechkin creeps closer to returning
- The 2025 Winter Classis is coming
- The guys discuss who might make the cut for some Quarter Century Teams
About the Chairshot Radio Network
Created in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts, including POD is WAR, Women’s Wrestling Talk, Chairshot Radio daily editions, The #Miranda Show, Badlands’ Wrestling Mount Rushmores, The Outsider’s Edge, DWI Podcast, Bandwagon Nerds, the Greg DeMarco Show, 3 Man Weave, Five Rounds, Turnbuckle Talk, The Reaction and more! You can find these great shows each week at theChairshot.com and through our distribution partners, including podcasting’s most popular platforms.
The Chairshot Radio Network
Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts and radio shows!
Listen on your favorite platform!
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Listen, like, subscribe, and share!
About Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
Classic POD is WAR
Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
Powered by RedCircle
Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!