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Mitchell’s NJPW New Japan Soul Results & Report! (6/16/24)

Sapporo’s covered in gold!

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Will the Rogue Luchador have his revenge on the Murder Machine?

After winning Best of the Super Juniors, El Desperado got Sho to accept an IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship STEEL CAGE MATCH, so will Sho have no choice but to do this without the House of Torture?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Kickoff – Masatora Yasuda VS Daiki Nagai; Time Limit Draw.
  • 10 Man Tag: Tomoaki Honma, Tomohiro Ishii, Satoshi Kojima, Katsuya Murashima & Shoma Kato VS The United Empire; The United Empire wins.
  • DOUKI & Taichi VS Ren Narita & Yoshinobu Kanemaru; Douki & Taichi win.
  • Bishamon VS EVIL & Dick Togo; Bishamon wins.
  • Tetsuya Naito & Titan VS Taka Michinoku & Yuya Uemura; Naito & Titan win.
  • NEVER Openweight Six Man Tag Team Championships: Los Ingobernables de Japon VS Hiroshi Tanahashi, Toru Yano & Boltin Oleg; Tanahashi, Yano & Oleg win and become the new NEVER Openweight Six Man Tag Team Champions.
  • IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Championships: Clark Connors & “Drilla” Dan Moloney VS Robbie Eagles & Kosei Fujita; Connors & Drilla win and retain the titles.
  • NEVER Openweight Championship: Shingo Takagi VS HENARE; Henare wins and becomes the new NEVER Openweight Champion.
  • IWGP Global Heavyweight Championship: David Finlay VS SANADA; Finlay wins and retains the title.
  • IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship Steel Cage Match: SHO VS El Desperado; Desperado wins and becomes the new IWGP Junior Heavyweight Champion.

PLAY BY PLAY

NEVER Openweight Six Man Tag Team Championships: Los Ingobernables de Japon VS Hiroshi Tanahashi, Toru Yano & Boltin Oleg!

It’s a Dominion rematch as Yota Tsuji, Bushi & Hiromu Takahashi once again face The Ace, The Joker & The Rook! It was already rather incredible that LIJ won in the first place, will they prove it wasn’t just luck at Osaka-Jo Hall? Or will Tanahashi, Yano & Oleg prove you can’t keep bad boys down?

The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and let’s see who really runs the schoolyard!

The teams sort out and while Yota and Oleg stare down, Yano insists he start. Hiromu obliges, and they both squat at the middle of the ring. They talk some smack, then the bell rings. And Hiromu copies Yano by going right to a corner to untie a buckle pad! Yano SMACKS Hiromu on the back of the head, then finishes the job himself! Hiromu SMACKS Yano on the head! Hiromu whips, Yano reveres, but Hiromu holds the ropes and copies Yano’s taunt! Yano runs up but Hiromu drop toeholds him onto ropes! Then he KICKS the rope, runs, but into an atomic drop! Yano tags Oleg and Tanahashi jump in, too.

Oleg & Tanahashi double whip to DOUBLE SHOULDER TACKLE Hiromu! Oleg then scoops Hiromu to SLAM him! Tanahashi drops an elbow, Oleg SPLASHES down! Cover, TWO! The fans rally and Yano tags back in. Yano whips but Hiromu reverses, only for Yano to avoid the bare buckles. Hiromu runs in, but only gets bare buckles! Yano runs, but into a kick! Bushi gets in to dropkick legs out, then Yota runs in to basement dropkick! Bushi & Yota then knock Tanahashi & Oleg off the apron! Bushi & Yota then go out after them, stomp them down, and Hiromu stomps Yano. Hiromu drags Yano up, bumps him off the red corner, and tags Bushi in.

Bushi stomps Yano, digs his knee in, and the ref counts. Bushi lets go of the ropes, but that’s not the problem! The ref reprimands and Bushi steps away. Bushi drags Yano up, wrenches and wristlocks to then YANK the arm and CLUB it. Tag to Yota, he BOOTS the arm! Yano clutches the elbow, but Yota wrenches the arm to YANK it. Tag to Hiromu and he climbs up, and the fans rally for the AX HANDLE! Yota drops to his knees and Hiromu mocks his pain while bringing him back up. Hiromu whips Yano tot he corner, clotheslines, snapmares and runs to basement dropkick! Hiromu calls to Yota, and he has Yota scoop him, for the assisted SPLASH! Cover, TWO!

Hiromu has the ref watch Tanahashi & Oleg, then calls Bushi in! LIJ double whip Yano but Yano holds ropes! Yano sends Hiromu into Bushi, then throws them both down by their heads! The fans fire up, Yano and Hiromu crawl, and hot tag to Tanahashi! Yota tags in but Tanahashi dropkicks the legs out! Tanahashi fires hands, whips, but Yota reverses, only for Tanahashi to FLYING FOREARM! The fans fire up as Tanahashi fires fast hands, then Tanahashi scoops to SLAM Yota into the drop zone! Tanahashi goes up, SUNSET SENTON! Cover, TWO! Tanahashi stays cool and the fans rally up. Yota rises, Tanahashi runs, but Yota TOSSES Tanahashi out!

The fans fire up as Tanahashi skins the cat! But then Yota ROCKS him with a right! Tanahashi falls back into a corner, Yota runs in, and he STINGER SPLASHES! Yota keeps going, he runs Tanahashi over, then SPLASHES down! Cover, TWO! The fans rally up and Yota drags Tanahashi up. Yota reels Tanahashi in, suplexes, but Tanahashi fights it, to TWIST ‘N’ SHOUT The fans rally up while both men are down. Tanahashi and Yota crawl, hot tag to Oleg! Oleg runs Yota over, gets him back up and fires forearms and CHOPS on repeat! Oleg whips, but Yota RAN- NO! Oleg stops the rana to get Yota up, for Shake, Rattle and THROW!

Oleg even kips up! The fans fire up, Oleg BLASTS Bushi & Hiromu off the corner, then he stalks Yota. Oleg waistlocks to deadlift Yota, for a GERMAN- NO, Yota fights free! Yota clinches, BACKBREAKER to FLATLINER to DOUBLE STOMP! Both men are down and the fans rally back up. Yota crawls over, hot tag to Bushi! Bushi goes up the corner, Oleg rises, and Bushi MISSILE DROPKICKS! And Bushirooni! Bushi runs corner to corner to ELBOW Oleg, then he brings Oleg in to FISHERMAN SCREW! Hiromu BLASTS Tanahashi & Yano! LIJ gets Oleg up, whips him to the corner, then Hiromu runs in to clothesline!

Bushi adds a back elbow, feeds to the SUPERKICK, then BACKSTABBERS! Cover, Tanahashi breaks it! Hiromu tosses Tanahashi out, Bushi and Oleg rise. Bushi runs up, CODE- NO, Oleg tosses Bushi away! Yano throws Bushi down! Hiromu SUPERKICKS Yano! Tanahashi blocks a superkick, but Yota gets in! Tanahashi blocks that superkick, too!? Tanahashi DOUBLE DRAGON SCREWS! The fans fire up but Bushi kicks low. Bushi runs, but into a SLINGBLADE! The fans fire up and Tanahashi drags Bushi up. Feed to Oleg for the KAMIKA- NO, Bushi slips free, and ENZIGIRIS! Oleg wobbles, Bushi goes to the corner!

Bushi runs up again, CODE- NO!! Oleg still blocks, and he fireman’s carries! Oleg coordinates with Tanahashi as he climbs, but Yota gets in Tanahashi’s way! Bushi rolls Oleg up! Tanahashi shoves Yota down onto the cover!! Tanahashi then aims to TRIPLE HIGH FLY ATTACK LIJ!! The fans are all fired up and Oleg drags Bushi back up! Fireman’s carry, and KAMIKAZE!! Cover, Oleg and team win!!

Winners: Hiroshi Tanahashi, Toru Yano & Boltin Oleg, by pinfall

The Rook comes through for the team, and they get the belts back! Has Oleg proved he’s far from just a Young Lion now? Or will we need quite the tiebreaker between these trios to put this to rest?

 

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Championships: Clark Connors & “Drilla” Dan Moloney VS Robbie Eagles & Kosei Fujita w/ Zack Sabre Jr!

The Bullet Club War Dogs claimed their losses to the TMDK Junior Heavyweights were flukes, but they still have to put up the gold. Will 100 Proof & 44 Caliber shoot down the Sniper of the Sky & Ichiban Young Punk? Or will we see that The Mighty Don’t Kneel?

The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see who’s really number one with a bullet!

The teams sort out and Fujita starts against Connors. The bell rings, the two stare down and the fans rally up. The two circle, feel things out, then Connors swings on Eagles! Eagles ROCKS Connors first! Fujita ROCKS Connors, then he DECKS Drilla! Eagles jumps in, TMDK double whip to hip toss, then PENALTY KICK! Drilla storms in but into DOUBLE BLOWS! Then TMDK rolls Drilla back to DOUBLE KNEE SMASH! Eagles rallies the fans, Fujita builds speed, but Connors gets in, JEEP FLIPPER! Drilla drags Eagles out, too, and sends him into railing! Connors stomps Fujita while Drilla tosses Eagles over railing!

Drilla steps over and has fans move aside. Connors keeps on Fujita on the other end of the arena while Drilla BOWLS Eagles into chairs! STRIKE! Connors fires hands on Fujita, and he tells a segment of fans to move! Then he BOWLS Fujita into the chairs! Another STRIKE! The fans cheer while Connors throws up the Too Sweet. Drilla drags Eagles around, scoops him, and then SLAMS him onto some seats! The ring count starts, but Connors is bringing Fujita back. Connors POSTS Fujita at 5 of 20, then takes his time to scuff Fujita before he steps in at 12. Connors taunts ZSJ at ringside, but Fujita rolls in at 17! The fans cheer but Connors mockingly applauds.

Connors kneels on Fujita’s neck, the ref reprimands and counts, and Connors steps away. Connors drags Fujita up, Drilla dusts off his boot, and Connors bumps Fujita off the boot! Tag to Drilla, and he CHOPS! And then he digs his boots in! The ref counts, Drilla steps off at 4. Connors CHOKES Fujita against ropes while the ref is busy with Drilla. The fans boo but Connors lets off before the ref catches him. Drilla looms over Fujita as he sputters, and the fans rally up. Fujita rises to throw body shots and forearms! Drilla CHOPS Fujita down! Drilla drags Fujita around, steps through, and ties up the legs into a DEATHLOCK!

Drilla tags Connors in, and Connors stomps away on Fujita! Then he JUMP ELBOW DROPS! Drilla lets Fujita go so Connors can cover, TWO! Connors smirks as he grabs the leg, and he mockingly calls “ROBBIE ROBBIE ROBBIE!” Drilla bark, bark, barks! Connors steps through to steal the RON MILLER SPECIAL! Eagles storms in but Drilla intercepts to TOSS him back out! Connors thrashes Fujita around but Fujita endures! Fujita crawls forward, reaches out, and has the ROPEBREAK! The fans cheer and the ref reprimands. Connors lets off with a smug grin, then drags Fujita up. But Fujita fires a forearm, and a CHOP!

Connors eggs Fujita on so Fujita CHOPS! Connors UPPERCUTS! Connors whips, but Fujita GAMANGIRIS! Both men are down and the fans fire up! Connors crawls and tags in Drilla. Drilla grabs Fujita’s leg but Fujita BOOTS him away! Fujita scrambles, hot tag to Eagles! Eagles goes up and over Drilla, BOOTS Connors, then RANAS Drilla! The fans fire up with Eagles and he KICKS Drilla! And KICKS! And KICKS! Eagles runs, Connors sneaks in to CLOBBER him! Connors & Drilla double whip, Eagles reverses to send Connors away! Then he sends Drilla into Connors! Eagles kicks a leg out, then runs to BLINDSIDE LARIAT BASEMENT DROPKICK COMBO!

The fans fire up with Eagles and he goes corner to corner at Drilla! DOUBLE KNEES! Drilla sits down, Eagles runs in to METEORA! Eagles drags Drilla to a cover, TWO! Eagles keeps cool and goes to the apron. Eaglee climbs, the fans rally up, and Eagles 450- NO, Drilla moves! Eagles rolls through, btu Drilla blocks his kick! Drilla pops Eagles up into the Canadian Rack! But Eagles sunset flips through! ONE, but Eagles has the RON MILLER SPECIAL!! Drilla flails, Fujita keeps Connors out! Connors powers out, gets in, and he CLUBS Eagles! Eagles holds on, but Connors stomps away until he lets Drilla go!

The ref reprimands but Connors shoves him away! Connors stomps Eagles, and Drilla hobbles up. Connors stands Eagles up, but Eagles fires CHOPS and ELBOWS! SOBAT for Drilla, then a cravat! Eagles uses Connors to kick off, but Drilla denies him Sliced Bread! Drilla ELBOWS Eagles away, but Fujita tags in! Fujita slingshots but Connors catches him! Connors hands Fujita off to Drilla! But Fujita flails to go to the apron and HOTSHOT! Fujita and Eagles both springboard, DOUBLE MISSILE DROPKICKS! The War Dogs are down and they bail out while the fans fire up! Fujita aims to springboard, DOUBLE CANNONBALL!

Direct hit and the Dogs go down! The fans fire up, Fujita puts Drilla in, and Eagles stands Drilla up. TMDK double wrench the arms, for MAXXY BOMB!! High stack, TWO!! Drilla survives but the fans fire up with TMDK! Fujita hoists Drilla up, Eagles ROUNDHOUSES and Fujita GERMAN SUPLEXES! Then SUPERKICK PENALTY KICK COMBO!! Cover, Connors breaks it! The fans rally, Eagles whips but Connors reverses to TOSS Eagles out! Connors runs at Fujita but Fujita TOSSES him out! Fujita goes after Drilla with a CHOP! But Drilla wrenches to ripcord, but Fujita dodges! Sunset flip, but Drilla DOUBLE STOMPS and SENTONS!

The fans rally up and both men crawl. Drilla reaches out, hot tag to Connors! Connors takes aim, runs in, but Fujtia pops him up! Connors fights the German Suplex but Fujita holds the waistlock! Connors throws elbow after elbow but Fujita’s grip is tight! Connors throws even more elbows, and Fujita finally lets go. Fujita runs up, but into a SNAP POWERSLAM! Drilla roars as he storms in, and the Dogs take aim from the corners! But Eagles anchors Drilla! Fujita O’Conner Rolls Connors, then trips him into the QUEEN ANGELITO STRETCH! Drilla gets loose but Eagles MISSILE DROPKICKS him down! And puts him in the RON MILLER SPECIAL!!

Fujita sees Eagles has Drilla, and Fujita pulls Connors into the NELL VOSS SPECIAL!! Connors endures, flails, and Drilla reaches out, but Eagles drags him away! Connors grabs at the ref, Drilla grabs at Fujita! Drilla CLAWS Fujita’s face, and he lets Connors go! Eagles lets Drilla go, and the four are all down. The fans rally as Eagles regroups with Fujita. The Dogs regroup on the outside, and Eagles DIVES onto them! But is caught! DRILLA KILLA to the floor!! Drilla & Connors are laughing that they just shot down the Sniper! Connors & Drilla then slide into the ring, flanking Fujita. They bring Fujita up, but he still fires forearms and elbows!

The fans rally as Fujita fights and fights, switches with Drilla, but Drilla elbows free! Connors runs in, Drilla hurdles, SPEAR! Fujita staggers back up, into the SPEAR GORE COMBO!! Cover, TWO?!? Fujita survives and shocks The Dogs! The fans fire up as Connors goes up a corner and Drilla drags Fujita up. Drilla suplexes, but Fujita slips free! GERMAN SUPLEX! Connors still leaps but Fujita gets under! Fujita O’Conner Rolls, but Connors fights Chaos Theory! Fujita HEEL KICKS! Fujita whips Connors, pops Connors up, and GERMAN SUPLEX! Bridging cover, TWO!! Connors survives, but Fujita still holds on!

Fujita drags Connors up and the fans are thunderous! Fujita suplexes, ABANDON- SUPERKICK from Drilla! Connors suplexes Fujita into the DRILLA KILLA!!! Drilla then feeds Fujita to the NO CHASER!! But they’re still not done!?! Connors climbs, Drilla suplexes, FULL CLIP!!! Cover, War Dogs win!

Winners: Clark Connors & “Drilla” Moloney, by pinfall (still IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Champions)

The Mighty Don’t Kneel, but they can’t withstand artillery of this magnitude! Bullet Club keeps these titles right where they are, and Connors himself asks, “Who’s next?”

 

NJPW announces the G1 Climax 34 Block line-ups!

In A Block, it will be: Tetsuya Naito; Shota Umino; Shingo Takagi; SANADA; Great-O-Khan; Zack Sabre Jr; Gabe Kidd; EVIL; and Pro-Wrestling Noah’s Jake Lee!
In B Block, it will be: Hirooki Goto; El Phantasmo; Yota Tsuji; Jeff Cobb; HENARE; David Finlay; Ren Narita; Yuya Uemura; and AEW & DDT Pro’s Konosuke Takeshita!

And this year, there will be a special G1 Climax preliminary round! 12 men, six for each block, must battle to earn the coveted tenth seed spots! In A Block’s prelim: Tomohiro Ishii; Yoshi-Hashi; Callum Newman; KENTA; Chase Owens; and Yujiro Takahashi! In B Block’s prelim: Hiroshi Tanahashi; Toru Yano; Boltin Oleg; Satoshi Kojima; Taichi; and TJP! Whoever comes out of those matches will join this already star-studded field! Who will help burn up this already red hot summer?

 

NEVER Openweight Championship: Shingo Takagi VS HENARE!

It’s another Dominion rematch, as we ended up with a Double TKO Draw in Osaka-Jo Hall! Will Takagi stay standing this time? Or will the Face of Fury finally slay The Rampaging Dragon?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see who pushes past their limits to be victorious!

The two are forehead to forehead, then they go forearm for forearm! The bell rings, and Takagi ROCKS Henare! Henare fires back, but Takagi shoves him. They both run, they RAM shoulders, then Henare kicks to snapmare. Henare KICKS Takagi in the back, but Takagi gets up to DOUBLE CHOP! Takagi eggs Henare on, so Henare HEADBUTTS! Henare eggs Takagi on so Takagi HEADBUTTS! Henare nods, and HEADBUTTS again! Takagi staggers, but he comes back to HEADBUTT! Henare HEADBUTTS, Takagi HEADBUTTS, they HEADBUTT again and again and again! Henare gets the edge, then JUMP HEADBUTTS!

Henare runs, RAMS Takagi but Takagi comes back to RAM Henare! ELBOW! JAB! But Henare KICKS! Takagi runs Henare over! Then Takagi KICKS Henare in the back! Henare goes to a corner, the fans rally for Takagi, and he runs up, and blocks a boot! Takagi clotheslines through, then fires the fans up more. Takagi JABS and CHOPS on repeat! Then he JABS, JABS, JABS, but Henare leans into the punches! Takagi fires more shots, then ROCKS Henare! Takagi whips corner to corner, runs up and clotheslines! Then SAIDOS! Henare flounders and the fans rally up. Takagi stands Henare up to suplex high and hard! Cover, TWO!

Henare bails out but Takagi keeps cool. Takagi goes out after Henare, brings him around, and whips him hard into railing! Henare staggers away, Takagi follows, and he JABS Henare again. Takagi brings Henare up to SMACK him off the apron, but that just angers Henare! Henare SMACKS Takagi off the apron! Takagi RIDGE HAND CHOPS, then fireman’s carries! SNAKE EYES off the apron! Henare falls back and the ref wants this back in the ring. Takagi takes a moment to shake out his hand, then he walks over to Henare. Takagi drops a knee right on Henare’s face! Takagi then puts Henare in the ring, and the fans cheer.

Takagi kicks Henare around, taunts him, scuffs him, and Henare snarls. Henare fires body shots and a forearm! Takagi ELBOWS! And YUKON LARIATS! The fans cheer and Takagi says he’s still gonna be champ. Takagi brings Henare up, puts him on ropes, and then KNEES him low! And KNEES him again! And again! The ref reprimands, Takagi lets off, and he whips Henare to ropes. Takagi KNEES low, runs, but into a POP-UP SAMOAN DROP! Both men are down and the fans fire up! Takagi goes to a corner, Henare runs in to clothesline! Takagi shouts at Henare, so Henare shouts back! Henare fires off fast hands from all sides!

The ref reprimands, Henare HEADBUTTS Takagi before he fireman’s carries. WASTELAND SLAM, then a SENTON! The fans rally up as Takagi sputters and goes back to the corner. Henare storms over, stomps Takagi, then HEADBUTTS him! Henare whips but Takagi blocks by holding ropes! The ref calls the ropebreak as Henare still tries to whip. Takagi still holds on, so Henare ELBOWS him in the head! The ref reprimands, but Henare whips corner to corner. Takagi reverses, runs up, but into an ELBOW! Henare goes up, FLYING CHUCK! But Takagi just runs! Into a BERSERKER BOMB! Cover, TWO!! Takagi survives and Henare fires back up!

The fans rally, Henare stands and he aims from a corner. Takagi rises as Henare stomps the mat. Henare runs in, RAMP- NO! Takagi stuffs the spear to fire off knees! Henare shoves back but Takagi ELBOWS! JABS! And YUKON feints to DDT! Both men are down and the fans fire up again! Henare flounders to a corner and the fans rally up. Takagi runs, but into a RAMP- DDT!! Takagi turns things around again and Henare is in a daze! Takagi kicks Henare, drags him up, and puts him on the top rope! The fans rally as Takagi climbs up, and he fires RIDGE HAND CHOPS! Takagi then goes to the very top, brings Henare up with him, SUPER DUPER PLEX!!

The fans are thunderous while Henare writhes from that hard landing! Takagi sits up and shouts, “OI! OI! OI!” The fans join in and Takagi nods. Takagi stands, the fans fire up more, and Takagi says “My time is coming! TOKI GA KITA!” The fans fire up, Takagi runs, PUMPING BOMBER! But Henare withstands the impact and stays standing! Takagi runs again, PUMPING BOMBER! Henare drops to his knees! Takagi gives scuffing kicks, slaps Henare around, then fires a few forearms. Henare growls, headbutts the mat, but Takagi ROCKS him! Takagi fires forearm after forearm, but Henare eggs him on!

Takagi fires more forearms, but Henare leans into those shots! Henare swings, Takagi bobs ‘n’ weaves and UPPERCUTS! Takagi runs, but into a RAMPAGE!! Both men are down again and the fans rally up! Henare slowly rises, sits Takagi up, and PENALTY KICKS! But Takagi’s right up to RUN Henare over! The fans rally while both men are down, and Takagi sits up first. Takagi crawls over to Henare and they give each other junkyard dog headbutts. They start throwing palm strikes, then forearms! Takagi CHOPS and Henare staggers! Henare snarls, comes back, and KICKS! Takagi staggers, Henare eggs him on, and the fans rally up!

Takagi winds up to CHOP! Henare drops to a knee and Takagi shakes out his hand. Henare rises, and Takagi braces for the KICK! Takagi CHOPS! Henare KICKS! CHOP! KICK! Repeat! The fans fire up and so does Henare! Henare KICKS, and KICKS, and ROLLING KICKS! Takagi wobbles, Henare runs, but Takagi blocks the kick! Henare fires off strikes, but Takagi still pump handles! MADE IN JAPAN!! But Takagi can’t make the cover! The ref checks both men, this could end up like Dominion! Takagi slowly rises, the fans rally up again, and Takagi sits Henare up. Takagi clamps on to rain down HAMMER ‘N’ ANVIL ELBOWS!

Takagi runs to SLIDING LARIAT! Henare rolls through to SLIDING KNEE!! Both men are down again and the fans fire up! Henare sits up first, and he snarls as he slashes his throat. Henare vows to end this but he’s a bit wobbly as he walks over. Henare drags Takagi up but Takagi HEADBUTTS! Henare HEADBUTTS! They DOUBLE HEADBUTT! And DOUBLE HEADBUTT! Both men wobble, but Takagi JABS! Henare HEADBUTTS! Takagi PUMPING BOMBERS! Henare JUMP HEADBUTTS! Takagi SLIDING FOREARMS!! Both men are down again and the fans are all fired up!

The ref checks, and both men are somehow still in this, but the standing count is here! Takagi hears it and he stirs. Takagi goes to ropes, and he drags himself up at 5 of 10! Takagi is up but what of Henare? He’s still down at 8, pushes up at 9, and stands at 9.9!! The fans fire up and Takagi runs in! DOUBLE LARIATS collide! Both men lean on the other, and Takagi fires boxing elbows! Takagi throws in about nine, but then Henare bobs ‘n’ weaves the tenth to BODY BLOW! And HEEL KICK! PUMPING BOMBER!! Cover, ONE?!?! The fans are thunderous as Henare snarls, but Takagi gets moving! PUMPING BOMBER!!! Cover, TWO!!!

The fans are thunderous again as Henare survives being flipped upside-down! Takagi roars, he drags Henare up, and he pump handles to the torture rack! Henare slips out, spins Takagi around, STREETS OF RAGE!! But he has to crawl to the cover! TWO!!! Takagi survives and Henare is stunned! Henare growls, fires himself up, and he drags Takagi back up. But Takagi fights the cross-arm hold! Takagi HEADBUTTS, HEADBUTTS, and HEADBUTTS! Henare HEADBUTTS!! Cover, ONE!?!?! But Henare runs to RUGBY KICK!! Cover, TWO!!!! Takagi still survives but Henare is furious! Henare reels Takagi in for STREETS OF- NO, Takagi fights the lift!

Takagi and Henare fight for suplex control! Takagi throws body shots, avoids the headbutt and UPPERCUTS! Then HEADBUTTS back! Then YUKON- NO, Henare blocks that, then blocks the other lariat! KAMI-HEADBUTT!!! Cover, HENARE WINS!!!

Winner: Henare, by pinfall (NEW NEVER Openweight Champion)

Henare unleashes the headbutt to surpass God, and he slays the Rampaging Dragon! Finally, the Face of Fury wears gold in NJPW! Will this be a sign of even bigger things to come? Or will Takagi have his revenge in the G1 Climax?

 

IWGP Global Heavyweight Championship: David Finlay w/ Gedo VS SANADA w/ Just5Guys!

When The Rebel heard the Cold Skull was back on the mend, he demanded this be the return match. Finlay still owes Sanada payback for the 2023 New Japan Cup finals loss, and that moment has finally come. Will Finlay ruin Sanada’s return right from the start? Or will he regret it when Sanada takes this title from him?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see if the War Dogs stay golden!

The bell rings and the fans rally behind “SA-NA-DA! SA-NA-DA!” Finlay gets on the corner to shout “WAR~ DOGS~!” and some fans do cheer, but the fans are still more on Sanada’s side. The two circle, feel things out, and tie up. They’re in a deadlock, but Finlay pulls hair to put Sanada on ropes. Red Shoes calls the break, Finlay pie faces Sanada as he lets off, then SPITS on Sanada! Sanada just brushes that off and the two reset. They tie up, are in another deadlock, but Sanada uses height for leverage. Sanada puts Finlay on the ropes, Red Shoes calls the break, and Sanada lets off with pats on the shoulder.

The fans applaud but Finlay is annoyed. Finlay runs up, Sanada kicks low then headlocks. Finlay powers up and out but Sanada runs him over. Things speed up, Finlay hurdles but then Sanada hurdles, hurdles and DROPKICKS! The fans fire up but Gedo is upset as Finlay bails out. Sanada aims, PLANCHA, but he lands on the apron as Finlay slides in. Finlay DECKS Sanada off the apron, goes out to CLUB Sanada, then SMACKS him off the apron! Finlay rains down fists, soaks up the heat, and says it’s too easy. Finlay fist bumps with Gedo then goes back to stand on Sanada’s face. Red Shoes reprimands but Finlay drags Sanada up and into the ring.

Finlay slides in to cover but Red Shoes says no, because of the shenanigans on the outside. Finlay is upset with Red Shoes, but then he drags Sanada up. Finlay hammerlocks an arm and leans on the hold. Sanada endures, even as Finlay grabs the other arm in a cording hold. Finlay digs knuckles into Sanada’s ribs, then a forearm in Sanada’s face! Red Shoes counts, Finlay lets off and gets mad at Red Shoes, but rules are rules. Finlay drags Sanada up, snap suplexes, then covers, TWO! The fans applaud but Finlay argues with Red Shoes more. Finlay drags Sanada up, but Sanada throws body shots! Finlay sputters, but then Sanada ROCKS him with a forearm!

Finlay knees low, whips, but Sanada reverses to ELBOW Finlay down! STANDING MOONSAULT FLOPS as Finlay moves! Finlay covers, TWO! Finlay keeps cool as he drags Sanada up. Finlay whips corner to corner hard and Sanada falls! Sanada writhes but Finlay barks it up. Finlay aims from a corner, runs in, and UPPERCUTS! Then he suplexes for a TOSS! Cover, TWO! Sanada is still in this and Gedo protests while Finlay argues the count. Sanada goes to the apron, Finlay storms over and drags him up. Finlay brings Sanada through the ropes to UPPERCUT! And UPPERCUT again! And UPPERCUT again!

Finlay UPPERCUTS and UPPERCUTS and UPPERCUTS, then UPPERCUTS some more! Finlay dares the fans to cheer Sanada now. The fans do cheer, and Sanada back drops Finlay outta the ring! Sanada catches his breath while Finlay is on the floor. Finlay drags himself up with the apron skirt, but Sanada PLANCHAS him right back down! The fans cheer and Sanada rises. Sanada stalks Finlay, brings him around, and puts him in the ring. The fans applaud, but then Finlay bails out the side. Sanada just PLANCHAS again! Down goes Finlay and the fans fire up! Sanada then brings Finlay up, ROCKS him, then slides into the ring.

Sanada builds speed and he fakes Finlay out! Sanada flips back in, then PLANCHAS again! A hattrick for Sanada and the fans fire up! Sanada encourages them to get louder, then he goes back for Finlay. Sanada puts Finlay in the ring, stalks him, then brings him up to RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! Cover, TWO! The fans rally while Sanada brings Finlay back up. Sanada fireman’s carries, Finlay slips free to waistlock, but Sanada switches. Finlay denies the O’Conner to roll Sanada up, TWO! Sanada runs in, but into a SPIN-OUT BOMB! Finlay grins as he leans against ropes, then he watches Sanada rise. Finlay runs in, and he clotheslines Sanada up and out!

Finlay goes out after Sanada, talks some trash, “This your boy?” Finlay flexes, drags Sanada up, and RAMS him into the railing! And RAMS him in again! Finlay’s trying to squish English commentary as he RAMS Sanada in again! Finlay lets Sanada falls over, then asks Gedo, “You wanna see a dead body?” Finlay fireman’s carries Sanada, to run up, but Sanada slips free! Finlay kicks low, reels Sanada in, but Sanada fights the piledriver! Sanada back drops Finlay onto the floor! The fans cheer while Sanada hobbles away. But then Finlay runs up! Sanada moves and Finlay crashes into railing! Sanada then brings Finlay out through the gate!

The Young Lions hurry to brace railing, but Sanada reels Finlay in for a PILEDRIVER on the floor!! And there’s far less padding out by the crowd then by ringside! Red Shoes wants this back in the ring, but Sanada has to catch his breath first. Sanada drags Finlay up, cravats for a neck wrench, and he brings Finlay back to ringside like that. Sanada puts Finlay in the ring and the fans applaud. Sanada then stalks Finlay, stands him up, and CLUBS him on the neck! Finlay staggers up, and he fires a forearm back! Sanada eggs Finlay on, so Finlay fires another forearm! And then SPITS at Sanada! And flips him off!

Sanada fires off furious fists on Finlay! The fans fire up but they’re on the ropes now! Red Shoes reprimands, but Sanada shoves him down! Sanada’s losing his cool, and Finlay YANKS Sanada into ropes! Both men are down and the fans rally up for Sanada. Finlay drags Sanada up, reels him in, Canadian Rack, but Sanada slips free, to get the dragon sleeper! Finlay arm-drags free, runs up, but into a BOOT! Sanada goes up to QUEBRADA, and he has the dragon sleeper! Sanada drops back but Finlay rolls through to inverted suplex! And LAWN DART off the corner! Then a Canadian Rack, DOMINATOR! Cover, TWO!

The fans fire up as Sanada survives! Gedo is upset and we pass 15 minutes. The fans rally for “SA-NA-DA!” as he and Finlay slowly rise. Finlay uses ropes to help stretch out one of his arms, then he goes back for Sanada. Finlay clamps on to sit Sanada up, for a crossface forearm! And then another! And another! Finlay drags Sanada up again, runs, and BLINDSIDE LARIATS! Cover, TWO! Sanada is still in this and Finlay is frustrated. The fans rally up for Sanada again, but Finlay drags Sanada up and reels him in. Sanada is dead weight so Finlay has Red Shoes check. Sanada refuses to give in and the fans rally up more.

Finlay talks more trash on the fans, then drags Sanada back up and in. POWER- RANA! Cover, TWO!! Finlay escapes, runs up, but Sanada spins him around, MAGIC- NO, Finlay slips free to suplex! But Sanada slips free to O’Conner Roll, but Finlay turns that around! O’Conner- NO, Sanada keeps Finlay up, then brings him into SKULL END!! Finlay flails and endures but he’s stuck in the body scissors! Sanada puts on the squeeze and Finlay is starting to fade! Red Shoes checks, Finlay flips everyone off! But he’s fading all the same! Sanada almost loses grip, and Finlay grabs at Red Shoes! Finlay endures as Sanada thrashes him around!

Red Shoes checks again, but Sanada lets Finlay go to go up top! ROUNDING BODY PRESS onto knees! Finlay saves himself at the last moment and both men are down! The fans rally for Sanada as he and Finlay stir. We hit 20 minutes and Sanada grabs at Finlay. They both rise up and Finlay fires a haymaker. Sanada fires it back! Finlay fires another haymaker, so Sanada gives it back! Red Shoes reprimands about closed fists, so Finlay fires a forearm! Sanada fires one right back! Finlay staggers away to ropes, but then Sanada eggs him on. Finlay fires a flurry, but Sanada UPPERCUTS! Finlay wobbles, staggers, but comes back.

Finlay UPPERCUTS, but Sanada shakes his head. The fans rally up as Sanada goes back to UPPERCUT Finlay! Finlay wobbles, Sanada eggs him on, and Finlay UPPERCUTS! Sanada grits his teeth, Finlay eggs him on, and Sanada UPPERCUTS! Finlay leans on Sanada, but he still fires a flurry of forearms, then an UPPERCUT! Finlay runs, but Sanada dodges! Sanada tilt-o-whirls, and has the dragon sleeper! But Finlay slips through to suplex! But Sanada turns that around, MAGIC SCREW! Both men are down and the fans fire up! Sanada hurries up a corner, to ROUNDING BODY PRESS! Direct hit and Sanada covers, TWO!!

The fans fire up more as Sanada drags Finlay back up. Sanada clinches, but Gedo storms up to the apron! Sanada drops Finlay so he can KICK the ropes! The fans cheer as Gedo gets jammed up down low! But then Finlay cradles Sanada! TWO!! Sanada escapes, runs up, BLINDSIDE WIZARD! Both men are down again and the fans fire back up! Sanada kips up and the fans cheer! Sanada shouts at Finlay to get up, then runs in, but Finlay ducks the Shining Wizard! Finlay wrenches, suplexes, INTO OBLIVION!! Cover, TWO!! Finlay almost had this one but he won’t stop there! Finlay suplexes again, OVER- BLOCKED!!

Sanada waistlocks, O’Conner Rolls and BRIDGES! TWO!!! Finlay escapes, but SHINING WIZARD hits!! The fans are thunderous and Sanada drags Finlay back up! Clinch and- NO, Finlay slips out to bring Sanada up! But Sanada slips free to ENZIGIRI! The fans fire up as we hit 25 minutes! Time is running out, but Sanada aims from the corner! SHINING- NO, Finlay smothers the wizard to high stack and deadlift into a POWERBOMB! Then the flip over and suplex! OVERKILL!!! Cover, Finlay wins!

Winner: David Finlay, by pinfall (still IWGP Global Heavyweight Champion)

The Cold Skull got hot, but maybe too little too late. Finlay holds onto the belt he created, for now. Will he prove that NJPW and the world needs The Rebel?

 

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship Steel Cage Match: SHO VS El Desperado!

The Murder Machine missed out on the Best of the Super Juniors finals, and it was the Rogue Luchador who finally added that trophy to his list of accomplishments. And as Sho tried to rain on the parade, Desperado goaded Sho into not just putting up the title, but putting up the steel fence around the ring! Truly a historic first for this title, will Desperado continue to make history by winning again? Or will Sho somehow, someway win without The House of Torture’s help?

But of course, the NJPW ref corps knows Sho has tricks of his own, so they make sure to pat him down before he enters the cage. AHA! Scissors! Sho says those aren’t his! But the check continues, and wait! Evil is storming his way onto commentary! The King of Darkness is going to find a way to be here for Sho one way or another. But wait, the search finds handcuffs, as well as a metal plate in the kick pad! Sho is upset that all his tricks have been found out, but Desperado’s having a great time watching his humiliation. Sho is already trying to find things under the ring but the refs were thorough even before the cage was set up.

Sho, Desperado and Red Shoes are locked inside, and all of Sho’s things have been secured, because a Young Lion is taking them to the back! It’s sinking in for Sho that there’s nothing he can do to cheat this one. Sho finally steps into the ring, the introductions are made and the belt is raised. And now, with the odds finally even, we see who is truly the Best of the Super Juniors!

The bell rings and the fans rally for “DE-SU-PE! DE-SU-PE!” The two feel things out, clinch, go around, and Sho waistlocks. Despe spins through to facelock, but Sho wrenches out. Despe rolls, wrenches back, and wristlocks. Sho pushes Despe to then wrench, wrench and wristlock. Despe drop toeholds, floats to a facelock, then he ties up the legs. Despe pulls Sho with a chinbar, but then shifts to have a cording hold. Sho endures, reaches out to the ropes, and Despe lets go. The fans cheer, and Despe talks some smack as Sho goes to a corner. The two reset, feel things out, knuckle lock, and Despe rolls to top wristlock.

Despe shifts to a cording hold, but Sho rolls back to stand up. Despe wrenches to wristlock, then he arm-drags Sho down into the cording hold. Sho endures, even as Despe adds a chinbar. Sho fights up, Despe hammerlocks the arm and goes for the crossface. Sho fights that, so Despe headlocks. Despe hits the takeover, Sho headscissors and squeezes tight. Despe bridges back, headstands, then pushes down on Sho’s legs. Despe floats onto the headlock but Sho slips out the back. Sho has the arm, and he drags Despe in, SNAKEBITE! Despe fights up to get the KNEEBAR! Sho flails, reaches out, ROPEBREAK! The fans applaud as Despe lets off.

Sho crawls to the corner and Despe waits on him. The fans rally, the two circle, and they feel things out again. Sho bends Despe’s fingers, then hammerlocks. Despe elbows Sho, switches the hammerlock onto him then spins him around to whip. Despe arm-drags Sho then runs him over! The fans fire up but Sho bails out of the ring. But he can’t go far with the cage all around! Despe storms up but Sho kicks him! Sho whips Despe into the cage! Despe staggers, Sho grins and whips the other way, only for Despe to reverse! Sho hits cage, staggers forward, and Despe back drops him on the floor! Sho writhes and the fans cheer!

Despe stalks Sho as he scurries, but then Sho slips around. Sho reaches out and Evil slips him the “Torture Tool” wrench through the bars! But Red Shoes is right on Sho to take that away! Despe whips Sho at the cage! Sho stops himself, then HIP TOSSES Despe into steel! Evil acts like he did nothing wrong but Yano is also on commentary and telling him off. Sho drags Despe up to whip him into the cage! Despe slumps down, but Sho stands him up, to whip him in again! Despe staggers and falls, and part of the cage swings open! Seems there was a second door! Sho keeps Despe from getting out, and sends him back into steel!

Sho grins as he stalks Despe, and he RIPS at Despe’s mask! Red Shoes reprimands, Sho lets off and stalks Despe around the way. Sho drags Despe up to GRIND his face against the cage! Evil applauds as Sho goes along the whole side! Sho throws Despe down, and a good part of Despe’s mask has been ripped away! Sho talks trash on Despe, then brings him up to ROCK him with a right! Sho DIGS Despe’s face into the cage again, then SCRAPES him along! Evil applauds but he’s the only one. Sho makes Despe suffer, then shoves him back down. Sho soaks up the heat before bringing Despe back into the ring.

Sho CHOKES Despe against ropes! Red Shoes reprimands, then counts, but Sho steps away at 4. Sho drags Despe back up, CLAWS at Despe’s exposed face, then lets off as Red Shoes counts. Sho not so subtly unties the blue buckle pad, and uses the strap to CHOKE Despe! Red Shoes counts, Sho lets go, and Evil says that’s genius! The fans rally for “DE-SU-PE!” but Sho talks more trash. Despe sits up, and Sho scuffs him. Sho taunts Despe, scuffs him again, but Despe grabs Sho’s foot. Despe CHOPS, and CHOPS, but Sho DECKS him with a right hand! Sho storms up to digs his boot into Despe’s face! Red Shoes reprimands and Sho steps off.

Sho eggs Despe on, so Despe stands to CHOP and CHOP! Sho fires another haymaker, but Despe HEADBUTTS! Despe runs, but into a kitchen sink knee! Despe falls, but Sho brings him up to whip to ropes, for another kitchen sink knee! Cover, TWO! Despe stays in this, and goes to a corner, but Sho runs in to RAM him! Sho then hoists Despe up to stick him across the top rope. Sho runs in, TOP SHELF KNEE! Cover, TWO! Sho pulls on an arm and a leg! Despe endures, the fans rally, but Sho pulls harder! Despe still reaches out with his free arm, fights over with his free leg, and has the ROPEBREAK! The fans cheer but Sho holds until Red Shoes counts 4.

Despe crawls to the apron but Sho grins as he runs up, to LARIAT Despe down! Despe falls on the apron then flops down to the floor. Sho wants a ring count, but this is a cage match, there’s no such thing. Sho says fine, and he goes out to fetch Despe. Sho whips Despe into the cage! Despe leans against the steel, and Sho grins as he brings Despe around to throw into more cage! Sho then SMACKS Despe off the steel, and runs him along the way, only for Despe to turn it around and send Sho into steel! The fans fire up and Despe RAMS Sho into steel! Then Despe throws Sho into the cage wall! Despe goes into the ring, builds speed, and DIVES! Both men hit the steel!!

The fans are thunderous and Despe roars as he rises up! Sho sputters while he’s slumped against the cage, but Despe drags him up. Despe whips Sho into the cage again! Sho falls, clutching an arm, but Despe gets him up and runs him hard into more steel! The fans fire up as Despe snarls and drags Sho up again. Despe still throws Sho into the cage! Despe then puts Sho in the ring, drags him up, and hits a BIG back suplex! Despe drags Sho right back up, for a BIG regular suplex! Despe then climbs up the corner, for a FROG SPLASH! But Despe’s own ribs make it hard to keep the cover. Despe drags Sho up, reels him in, GUITARRA DEL ANGEL! Cover, TWO!

Sho survives but Despe just shakes his head. Despe staggers around, he drags Sho up, and he reels Sho in to tuck the arms. But Sho wrenches out to KNEE low and throw Despe down by his hair! Sho sputters, he goes back to the blue corner, and he finishes untying the pad. The Bullet Club Special is still possible in this cage, and as Despe runs in, TADA! Bare buckles! Sho whips Despe back into those bare buckles! Sho runs to SPEAR!! Cover, TWO!! Despe survives and Sho is stunned! The fans rally for Despe but Sho calls his shot. Sho drags Despe up, but Despe fights the gut wrench! Despe CLUBS Sho’s legs, but Sho still tries to lift!

Sho KNEES Despe low, then whips him back to the bare buckles! Sho grins, but Despe comes back! Despe swings, but Sho gets around to POP UP and ARMBAR! Despe fights around, but ends up in SNAKEBITE!! Despe flails, reaches out, but he’s fading! Sho pulls harder on the hold, and Despe falls over! But then Despe gets a second wind! The fans rally as hard as they can, and Despe drags Sho over, but Sho just pulls harder on the hold! Despe tips over, but into the ROPEBREAK! Red Shoes tells Sho to let go but he refuses! So Red Shoes pulls Sho’s hair to make him stop! Respect his authority, Sho!

Sho lets go and Red Shoes checks on Despe. Red Shoes keeps Sho back, and Despe raises a hand. Despe wags a finger, he isn’t done yet. Sho kicks Despe mockingly, toying with him. Sho stands on Despe’s head, then gives him another mocking kick. Despe slowly sits up and the fans rally up again. Despe looks up at Sho defiantly, and Sho gives him a kick. Despe stays up so Sho fires a forearm! Despe snarls as he stands, so Sho fires another forearm! Despe forearms back but Sho LARIATS! Sho is mad now! Sho gets Despe up to gut wrench, Canadian Rack, FACEBUSTER! Cover, TWO!! Despe survives and the fans fire up!

Sho is freaking out, slapping himself around. Sho pulls at his own hair in frustration, but he drags Despe back up. Sho reels Despe in, tucks the arms, but Despe slips out to wrench and OLYMPIC SLAM! The fans fire up while both men are down! Despe and Sho stir, and Sho crawls his way to ropes. Despe snarls as he rises at center, but Sho storms back over. Despe fires body shots, then a forearm! Sho fires off boxing elbows fast and furious! Sho ROCKS Despe, runs, but Despe DECKS him! Despe roars and the fans fire up with him! Despe underhooks, FACEBUSTER! And then the roll through, for PINCHE- NO, Sho fights it!

Sho shoves Despe into Red Shoes! Sho runs up, to SHOTGUN Red Shoes into the bare buckles! Despe slumps out of the ring, Sho storms over and “accidentally” drops an elbow on Red Shoes! Evil claims Sho is innocent, but here comes The House of Torture! The fans boo, so much for Sho doing this on his own! Sho drags Despe up as the fans tell all the others to go home, or at least go away. But Sho puts Despe against the cage, and Narita SMACKS Despe with a chair! But here comes Oleg! But Kanemaru CLOBBERS Oleg! Evil even hits Yano on commentary! Tanahashi and even Satoshi Kojima run out here, but The House goes after them, too!

The fans boo but The House starts throwing chairs into the ring for Sho to use! Evil pretends he sees nothing wrong with this. Sho grins stands Despe back up, talks trash on everyone, then brings Despe into the ring. Sho soaks up the heat, then talks more trash. But Despe has a chair! Despe HEADSHOTS Sho!! Sho flops into the ring and the fans are thunderous! Despe turns things around on The House as he puts Sho’s head on one chair, and grabs another! Evil can only freak out as Despe hits a HOMERUN!! Evil tries to climb into the cage?! Despe CHUCKS a chair at him and he falls right off! The others try, but Despe chucks more chairs!

The fans fire up as now Yano, Oleg and Tanahashi fight back, too! They all stomp the House, Kojima CLUBS Kanemaru, and Despe CHUCKS chairs as Narita tries to climb! Despe goes back to Sho while Tanahashi and team drag The House outta here! The fans cheer as justice is again served! Despe calls to Red Shoes and he slowly returns. Despe gets Sho up but Sho LOW BLOWS! The ref missed that by sheer luck! Sho pretends he got hit, too, and so now everyone’s down again! Sho can’t help but laugh, though, and he tells Red shoes to get up. Sho hobbles over to Despe, drags him up, and reels him in to pump handle!

But Despe Alabama Lifts! And then he tucks Sho in, BASTARD DRIVER!! The fans are thunderous as Despe gets Sho up, underhooks, and JAY DRILLER!! And then the PINCHE LOCO!! Cover, DESPE WINS!!

Winner: El Desperado, by pinfall (NEW IWGP Junior Heavyweight Champion)

The Murder Machine couldn’t win it on his own, and that is why he lost it all tonight! Will it ever sink in that crime doesn’t pay?

As for Desperado, he now has trophy and championship belt to hold! Despe makes sure “the trash” is taken out of the ring first, then he gets the mic. The fans cheer “DESPE! DESPE!” as he gets the spotlight on him. Despe takes a moment, and then says, “Ah… that hurt. Thank you.” The fans cheer, and Despe continues by saying that there are all different types of wrestlers, and that’s what makes pro-wrestling so interesting. But even knowing that, it’s exhausting having to go this far. Why the heck are they opening the cage up? It took a lot to put it together in the first place, not that Despe really knows about that.

Despe won’t say this was fun, it’s not really his style, and his whole body hurts. He probably won’t do this kinda thing ever again. But he does want to get to his next challenger. The fans are shocked he’s doing this so soon! And then Despe calls out DOUKI! Despe tells Douki to come on out here, they don’t need to make a mess with the cage coming down just yet. The fans cheer for “DOUKI! DOUKI!” Despe waits, but he starts to wonder if Douki left already. Despe figured he’d give the guy he fought in the BOSJ semifinals, a guy who’s like a brother to him, a shot. But then, while he was home, he was kind alike, “Nah, maybe I’ll go with another guy.”

But wait! Here comes Douki! The fans cheer as Japones Del Mal heads into the ring. And Despe already knows what Douki must be thinking. Why’s he giving the shot to a guy he already beat? Is it because it’ll be an easy defense? Despe says the BOSJ was the BOSJ, and this cage match was this cage match. Whether the energy is flowing or not, a true IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship match is different. Despe is sure Douki has what it takes. Despe knows Douki got cheated by Sho, so this will be different, too. So what does Douki say? Is he up for the challenge? The fans like the sound of that!

Despe keeps explaining that people might be thinking this is because of their past friendship, and maybe it is. After all, even though Despe is older, Douki helped him out a lot while they were in Mexico. This is Despe returning the favor. A chance like this doesn’t come along all the time, but don’t think of this as a handout. Despe just wants Douki to see for himself that he can do this. But if he doesn’t think he can, then Douki can walk away. The fans tell Douki to go for it! Douki steps inside! The fans fire up as Douki is face to face with Despe! Despe says he doesn’t know when or where this’ll happen, but when it does, it’ll be Despe VS Douki.

The fans cheer, Douki nods, and the fans even cheer Douki on. Despe lets Douki have the mic, and he says there was no way he was saying no with Despe asking him like that! Douki then says Despe better do everything he can to keep that belt. Despe tells Douki not to be so cocky. The Rogue Luchador grins as his old amigo heads back out. And then he grumbles that Douki shouldn’t have given him the mic back, now he has to wrap this up! And then he says, “That’s just how it is!” Despe drops the mic and the streamers fly! We have our next title match on the books, when and where will these former Suzuki-Gun soldiers do battle as rivals?


My Thoughts:

A great New Japan Soul, full of so much meaningful stuff for being the start to a short tour. A little surprised Tanahashi, Yano & Oleg won the NEVER titles back already, but I do appreciate NJPW isn’t afraid to hot potato their titles around. And I really do think there should be a tiebreaker coming, maybe with a heightened stipulation like Elimination or Best 2 Outta 3 Falls. Great Junior Heavyweight Tag title match, and TMDK came so close, but I should’ve figured The War Dogs would win out. And very good field for the G1 this year. I’m a little surprised so many people are in the qualifiers, but that should make it really wild stuff. I’d love if TJP got in for B Block.

Takagi VS Henare was an awesome rematch, and Henare winning was quite the surprise. Takagi’s not just in the G1, but he’s gonna be in AEW’s Owen Hart Cup, so I thought he’d bring that along. But maybe since Takagi isn’t likely to win the Owen Hart Cup, NJPW doesn’t want anyone getting a win over one of their midcard champions. Great return match for Sanada, but I suppose Finlay was going to retain either way. Finlay already felt the shame of losing this title once this year, he wasn’t gonna do it again.

And great stuff in the main event. I just knew The House of Torture would show up despite the cage, but then great of Tanahashi and friends to stop them. Desperado winning was the right choice and certainly great for him. Desperado naming Douki as his next challenger is really cool stuff, and Douki is definitely going to have a great showing. I still think Despe retains, but Douki is slowly rising up the ranks. If all things go well, Douki can definitely find himself as champion within the next year.

My Score: 9/10

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Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (3/28/25)

SmackDown in the UK!

Published

on

London calling to the champion crowns!

SmackDown brings gold to London as LA Knight defends his WWE US Championship and The Street Profits defend their tag team titles! Will the landscape change this close to WrestleMania?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • WWE Tag Team Championships: The Street Profits VS Pretty Deadly; The Profits win and retain the titles.
  • Kayden Carter & Katana Chance VS The Secret Her-vice w/ Chelsea Green; The Secret Her-vice wins.
  • WWE United States Championship: LA Knight VS Braun Strowman; Braun wins, by disqualification, and Knight retains the title.
  • Charlotte Flair VS Mia Yim w/ B-Fab; Charlotte wins.
  • Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre; McIntyre wins.
  • Jimmy Uso VS The Miz; Jimmy wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Cody Rhodes is here!

We follow The American Nightmare as walks to gorilla, then through the curtain, and London sings along with the song, “WHOA~ OH~!” Cody gets his pyro, says hello to fans along the ramp, and then we get the second “WHOA~ OH~!” and pyro. Cody goes to the ring, grabs a mic, then kneels down to kiss the WWE logo on the mat. The fans continue to sing along all the way to the end, “I AM MY KINGDOM!” The fans then cheer, and Cody holds up the belt to fire them up even more! The fans now sing for “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” and he soaks it in. The fans cheer again as Cody smiles, and he finally says, “So, London~! Whaddya wanna talk about?”

The fans chant “Let’s Go, Cena!” “CENA SUCKS!” Cody hears that dueling, and he smiles again. The song of “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” returns, then they cheer. Cody says, “At WrestleMania 41, I will be facing John Cena…” The fans boo, but Cody says, “I will be facing John Cena as he goes to break the record and win 17. But that is WrestleMania 41. In just a few nights, I will be standing face to face with John Cena in this very same city, in this very same arena.” The fans cheer that, but then here comes Randy Orton! Now the fans sing along with Voices as The Viper heads to the ring. Orton also high-fives fans before he joins Cody.

Orton grabs a mic, paces while the fans keep singing on their own, and then the fans cheer. Orton says he’s not really the sentimental type, but for Cody and for London, screw it. The fans chant “R K O! R K O!” and Orton tells Cody, “Look at you. Look at who you are now, the man you are now. Look at where he came from.” The fans cheer and sing “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” and Orton says he remembers a Cody in his early 20s, just breaking into the business. Cody was busting his ass harder than anyone else. He wasn’t exactly happy, and in fact, he was frustrated. But Cody was man enough, smart enough, to know he needed to grow, and that he couldn’t grow in the WWE.

Cody wasn’t exactly treated fairly in the WWE, so Cody left the WWE! That took some big ass balls to do what he did! Cody changed the business singlehandedly, and everyone in the back knows it. And Orton appreciates Cody for it. But then Cody came back, as they all knew one day he would. And the industry has been changed forever since the day Cody came back to the WWE. Cody is a bit teary eyed as Orton says Cody’s still the same guy, he just did what he set out to do, and he grew. Orton teases he would sing along with the fans, but the fans might leave. The fans again sing “CODY! CODY RHODES~!”

Orton asks if they remember when Cody Rhodes faced Seth Rollins in Hell in a Cell. The fans cheer because they do. Orton says that was impressive, and even impossible, as he started with a partially torn pec and then ended with a fully torn pec! His body changed all kinds of shades of purple that Orton’s never seen on a human body. The pain he must have been in. Cody persevered not just for himself. Maybe not even at all for Cody. It was not even for his family legacy; it was for each and every single fan out there! Then Cody went on to WrestleMania, beat Roman Reigns and finished the story!

But there’s always another story, isn’t there? And Cody’s right in the middle of one. Cody is in charge of his legacy, and it is a privilege for Orton to watch Cody take control of it. Ticket sales have been up, there’s more intrigue around the world, and listen to the people! It is 99.9% all because of Cody! The fans cheer that, and of course they sing. Orton says what he’s trying to say is a long-winded version of he respects Cody, loves him, and is very, very proud of him. The fans cheer that! Orton then says, “But… But now it is time for WrestleMania.” They both look to the sign, and Orton says he can guarantee Cody that Orton will kick Kevin Owens so hard in the head…!

Orton can just feel it already! He forgets how many days are left, but he can’t wait to remove Kevin’s head from his shoulders. And Orton knows Cody will enter champion, exit champion, but not before he beats the holy hell outta Cena all up and down the Vegas strip! But after all the smoke clears and the dust settles, just like Orton wants Number 17, there will come a time when Orton will want Number 15. But Orton won’t kick Cody in the balls like a coward. Orton will look Cody in the eye because he respects Cody, is proud of Cody, and sees him as an equal. Orton will look Cody in the eye and tell him that he’s coming for the title.

The fans cheer but wait! Drew McIntyre is here! The fans cheer the Scottish Terminator as he steps out on stage, mic in hand, and has a wry smile on his face as he looks at the ring. Drew waves as the fans now sing, “OH~ Drew McIntyre~!” Drew says, “Isn’t this wonderful? A couple of nepo babies having a love fest in the middle of the ring> It makes me absolutely sick. What’d you just say, Randy? if Cody gets through Cena at WrestleMania, you’re coming for that title? What exactly have you done since that big comeback to justify that title match? Aside be Randy Orton. The only big moment I can remember is you being on the shelf for months and months and months.

“People like to make jokes about it, but more people talk about my five-minute-45-second title reign than your entire comeback so far! So get to the back of the line, sunshine! As for you, Cody, you should’ve listened to me. But you shunned me. You attacked me. Everybody should’ve listened to me about John Cena, but they didn’t. And the next night, he kicked you right in the twig ‘n’ berries, proving me right as usual. And the main event of WrestleMania should be Cody Rhodes VS The UK’s only ever world champion, Drew McIntyre!” Fans do like that idea. But sadly, it’s not, because of that guyliner wearing Temu Undertaker, Damian Priest!

Drew wants to talk about what is happening. And what’s gonna happen! Drew steps up to the ring while fans sing for him again. Drew says it will not be Randy that takes the title from Cody, should he get through Cena; it’ll be McIntyre. The fans cheer, but Orton says they were trying to have a moment. Can Drew just cut the crap already? Drew says okay, sure. He’ll tell the truth, because that’s all he ever does. The truth is, Kevin might have a point! If those Voices are talking to Orton again, then they know Drew very, very well. And he’s thinking, “My God, Randy looks great! Absolutely jacked! On the outside.

On the inside, that back is hanging by a thread. And if Orton provokes McIntyre, McIntyre will break him. And as for Cody- Cody kicks Drew and UPPERCUTS him! The fans fire up, and Orton R- NO, Drew gets away! The fans boo, but the battlelines are drawn! Even if Cody makes it out of the frying pan that is Las Vegas, it’ll be into the fire that is these contenders waiting in line! Will the American Nightmare be ready for whoever comes for the crown?

 

WWE Tag Team Championships: The Street Profits VS Pretty Deadly!

Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins are finally golden again, but it’s time to put the titles on the line already! And while they’re ready for the grind, they’re up against the hometown heroes! Will the Profits still be up in the O2? Or will Kit Wilson & Elton Prince say #YESBOY to a new reign of their own?

The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see who really wants the smoke!

The teams sort out and Kit starts with Dawkins. They tie up, Dawkins headlocks, but Kit powers up and out. Dawkins runs Kit over, the fans fire up, and Dawkins fires hands on Kit in the corner! The fans rally for Pretty Deadly, Dawkins whips Kit to a corner, but Elton takes that bump! Kit CLOBBERS Dawkins, then tags Elton! Atomic drop into DROPKICK! Ford runs up, but into a DOUBLE HIP TOSS! Dawkins whips, Elton reverses, and then Elton hurdles so Kit can DDT! The fans fire up with Pretty Deadly while the Profits bail out. Pretty Deadly has control while SmackDown goes picture in picture.

Elton is right on Dawkins as he gets in, and UPPERCUTS him to the corner. Elton clinches Dawkins for another UPPERCUT! Tag to Kit, and Elton RAMS into Dawkins so Kit can UPPERCUT! Dawkins flops over, Kit drags him up to wrench the arm. Kit whips, Dawkins reverses, but Kit grabs ropes. Kit ELBOWS Dawkins, DECKS Ford, but Dawkins CLOBBERS Kit! The ref reprimands but Dawkins RAMS Kit into the corner again and again! The ref counts, Dawkins fires fast hands, then he tags in Ford. Ford says, “SUCK IT!” then he KICKS Kit! Ford scuffs Kit, then drags him to a cover, TWO!

Ford keeps Kit down with a facelock, but Kit endures the grind. Kit fights up, fires body shots, but Ford whips him away. Kit sunset flips! Ford rolls through, and PENALTY KICKS! Ford mocks Elton with the Scott Hall fingers, and the ref has to keep Elton back. Ford drags Kit up, tags Dawkins, and the Profits mug Kit. Dawkins CLUBS Kit down, then stalks him. Dawkins stays between Kit and Elton, then whips Kit into the Profits’ corner. CYCLONE- NO, Kit dodges! Ford tags in, he keeps Kit from Elton now, but Kit slips out of the suplex! Kit fakes high to go low, hot tag to Elton! Elton rallies with LARIAT after LARIAT!

Elton kicks and whips Ford to a corner, then UPPERCUTS! Elton whips the other way, UPPERCUTS again, and then does it again! Elton adds to the hattrick with a lift, Ford says a quick prayer before the SUPLEX! Ford flounders, gets to his feet, but Elton dodges to springboard and FLYING UPPERCUT! Cover, TWO! Ford stays in this, but Elton stays on him. SmackDown returns to single picture and fans rally for Pretty Deadly as Elton gives Ford a back suplex. Ford lands out, waistlocks, but Elton switches and shoves Ford. Ford CLOBBERS Elton in return! Ford is also dazed but he covers, ONE!

Kit reaches out, Elton and Ford both crawl, hot tags to Kit and Dawkins! The fans fire up as Dawkins wrenches Kit, underhooks and SILENCER! Dawkins Electric Chair Lifts Kit, Ford climbs, but Kit slips free! Kit shoves Dawkins into Ford! Ford falls to the floor, but Dawkins ENZIGIRIS Kit! Elton tags in, and Kit LARIATS Dawkins! Pretty Deadly combine for DRY MARTI-KNEES! Cover, TWO!! Dawkins survives and the Profits are a bit unsure of what to do next. Dawkins crawls to a corner, Elton runs up, but Dawkins dodges! Elton hits buckles and Dawkins TOSSES Kit, then Dawkins hits a SKY HIGH on Elton!

Dawkins hurries to tag Ford and Ford climbs up! But Kit pushes Elton out of the way! Kit takes FROM THE HEAVESN, and Elton ghost pins Ford! TWO!! Ford escapes, and he ROCKS Elton! Elton UPPERCUTS Ford! Dawkins sneaks a tag, Ford SUPERKICKS! POUNCE SAIDO COMBO!! Cover, KIT BREAKS IT! The fans fire up while all four men are down! The teams go to opposite ends, then they all stand up in the corners. They all roar, all run in, and Kit SPEARS Ford while Elton FLYING UPPERCUTS Dawkins!! London is thunderous, and Kit hurries to tag in! Pretty Deadly gets Dawkins up, for SPILT MILK!! Cover, FORD BREAKS IT!

The fans are shocked, as is Elton, but Ford saves this for his team! “This is Awesome!” as Ford runs up and Elton TOSSES him out! Now DRY MARTI- NO! Dawkins doesn’t accept the second serving, and he DUMPS Kit out! Kit skins the cat while Dawkins DECKS Elton! Dawkins catches Kit to an Electric Chair! Ford rises, DOOMSDAY BLOCKBUSTER!! Cover, Profits win!

Winners: The Street Profits, by pinfall (still WWE Tag Team Champions)

Pretty Deadly put up a heroic fight, but the hometown heroes could not capture the gold. Dawkins & Ford hold onto the gold, will this be the strongest the Profits have ever been?

 

Kayden & Katana talk with Zelina Vega.

Carter & Chance know La Muneca got screwed over by The Green Administration. Chelsea thinks she’s untouchable, but someone’s gonna stop them eventually. Well, speaking of, Alba Fyre leads the way in as she & Piper Niven “scope the perimeter.” There’s one small threat. They frisk the “miniscule” threat, but nothing they haven’t dealt with before. Chelsea struts in and says, “The Eagle has landed~!” Zelina says she is so glad the “Bootleg Men in Black” have crashed the party. Now, yeah, they all know she’s small. But clearly this small “threat” is a big threat to Chelsea’s title reign. Otherwise, it wouldn’t have taken all three of them to beat her.

KC Squared agree with that. How about tonight, we see what happens when the odds are even? Chelsea says that’s fine, because Agents P & A are ready. The Secret Her-vice has been given their next mission, but will they be able to crash the party? Or will the party crash them?

Kayden Carter & Katana Chance VS The Secret Her-vice!

SmackDown returns and The Green Administration makes their entrance. The teams sort out, Alba starts against Katana, and the two tie up. Alba KNEES low, CLUBS Katana down, then fireman’s carries. Katana fights free, tags Kayden, and they KICK, double whip, and then trip Alba up for the basement DROPKICK! Katana adds a slingshot SENTON, Kayden covers, TWO! Kayden tags Katana, they double whip Alba to a corner, then Kayden runs in. Alba DUMPS Kayden out, ROCKS Katana, and she tags Piper! Katana arm-drags Alba out, then goes out to run up. Kayden gives her a boost, Katana CROSSBODIES Alba down!

The fans fire up, but Piper goes up and out?! CANNONBALL and down goes KC Squared! Piper salutes Chelsea and SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns, Kayden rallies on Alba while the fans rally up. Kayden fires up, runs in and whips, but Alba reverses. Kayden wheelbarrows, victory rolls, then SUPERKICKS! Kayden fires up again but the fans are torn. Kayden runs in at Alba to BOOT WASH her against the ropes! Chelsea protests, Kayden kicks at her, then Kayden springboards for a LEG DROP! Cover, TWO! Alba survives, Kayden whips, but Alba KICKS back! Tag to Piper, but Kayden jackknife bridges Alba! The ref explains bout the tag, Piper runs up, but Kayden moves! The SENTON hits Alba! Piper panics, Kayden tags Katana!

Katana goes up onto Kayden’s shoulders, VICTORY ROLL LAUNCHER, but Piper catches Katana! Katana fires hands, BOOTS, and then hurries to go up again. Kayden ROCKS Piper, and fireman’s carries?! SAMOAN DROP! Kayden then gives Katana the boost, for the KEG STAND SPLASH!! Cover, ALBA BREAKS IT! Kayden runs up on Alba to BOOT her out! Katana gives Kayden the boost now, SUPER CROSSBODY onto Alba! Kayden hurries to tag back in, and she brings Piper up. Piper swings, Kayden dodges and SUPERKICKS! Katana goes up, Piper staggers over that way, but Chelsea distracts the ref!

The fans are torn as Alba grabs Katana. Katana kicks Alba down, chases Chelsea off, but Piper sends Kayden into her! Piper scoops to PIPER DRIVER!! Cover, Secret Her-vice wins!

Winner: The Secret Her-vice, by pinfall

The Women’s US Champion helps her team, and now they all mug Kayden & Katana! But here comes Zelina! Vega runs down the ramp, CLOBBERS Alba, and then she gets in the ring! Zelina tilt-o-whirl DDTS Piper! And she KNEES Alba off the apron! But Chelsea CLOBBERS Zelina! Chelsea fires up, the UK is oddly with her, and she chicken wings Zeina. But Zelina fights free to fire forearms and body shots! And a BACK ELBOW! Zelina reels Chelsea in, CODE- SUPERKICK from Alba! SENTON from Piper! The Green Administration is just too much for Zelina to fight against alone! But can she, Kayden & Katana find a way to turn things around?

 

WWE United States Championship: LA Knight VS Braun Strowman!

Did the Mega Star just get this title back from Shinsuke Nakamura? YEAH! Did he help the Monster of All Monsters fight off Solo Sikoa’s rouge bloodline? YEAH! And now, does he have to defend this title against the monster he just helped? YEAH!! But will Knight still reign this close to WrestleMania? Or will Braun #GetTheseHands back on a championship?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and it’s time for Knight’s biggest challenge, YEAH!

The bell rings and the fans rally up as the two circle. The two tie up, and Braun SHOVES Knight away. Knight comes back, Braun SHOVES him down again! Knight gets up, gets around, and he headlocks. Braun powers up to back suplex, but Knight lands out! Knight tries but Braun’s too big to suplex! Braun ELBOWS Knight, storms up on him, but Knight fires haymakers! Knight whips, Braun reverses, but Knight KICKS back! Knight runs, but Braun HIP TOSSES! Cover, TWO! Knight stays in this, but Braun brings him up. Braun puts Knight in a corner, CHOPS, then runs, for a SPLASH! Knight sputters along ropes, Braun keeps moving, but Knight DUMPS him out!

The fans fire up as Knight then WRECKS Braun with a dropkick! Knight keeps moving, and he WRECKS Braun again! The fans fire up with Knight, but then Braun BOOTS Knight down! The fans are torn but Braun stands tall as SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and Braun puts Knight back in the ring. The fans cheer as Knight KICKS Braun! Knight tries again, but Braun’s still too big to back suplex! Braun CLUBS Knight, then runs in at the corner. Knight BOOTS Braun, goes up, and FLYING BULLDOGS! Both men are down and the fans fire up! Knight and Braun rise back up, and Knight dodges a shot to JAB! Then he dodges to JAB! JAB! JAB! “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” But Braun KNEES low! Braun scoops, Knight slips free, and Knight RAMS Braun into buckles! Then the BACK SUPLEX! The fans fire up and Knight rises again! Knight spells it out, “L! A! KNIGHT! YEAH!” ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO!

Braun has plenty left in the tank but the fans rally for Knight. Knight stands Braun up to kick low, but Braun THROWS Knight away! Knight rises, and Braun LARIATS Knight up and out! The fans fire up as Braun rips the shirt! Braun gets on the track, and he runs in, STROWMAN EXPRESS MEETS JACOB FATU!! The Samoan Werewolf strikes Braun down!

Winner: Braun Strowman, by disqualification; LA Knight retains the title

The fans boo as Jacob now goes after Knight! He just ruined what was becoming a great match, but Jacob fires HEADBUTT after HEADBUTT on Braun! SAMOAN DROP onto the desk!! The desk doesn’t budge, but Braun might’ve been broken in half! The UK fires up for Fatu as he puts Braun in the ring! Jacob fires more HEADBUTTS, then HEADBUTTS away on Braun in the corner! The fans sing “OLE~ OLE OLE OLE, FATU~, FATU~!” Jacob runs corner to corner, but Knight kicks him first! Knight fires haymakers, “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” Jacob denies the BFT to POP-UP SAMOAN DROP! And then HIP ATTACK for Braun anyway!

Jacob keeps going, HIP ATTACK for Braun again! Jacob throws off his jacket, glares at Braun, and he runs in for a third HIP ATTACK! Braun flounders into the drop zone, so Jacob goes up, up, BEST MOONSAULT EVER! Direct hit on Braun, but the fans want that “ONE MORE TIME!” Jacob obliges, BEST MOONSAULT EVER! The Samoan Werewolf just tore up #OneBigSOB and LA Knight, will there be no stopping him from taking the United States Championship?

 

Backstage interview with Jimmy Uso.

Jackie Redmond is with #BigJim, and she says that while she knew WWE was going global this month, she did not know they’d get the slap heard ’round the world! Jimmy says he’d do it again, and he’ll slap Gunther as many times as he needs! Jimmy knows Jey is up in his own head, doubt is creeping on him. But just because Jey’s 0-3 against Gunther doesn’t mean Gunther’s unbeatable! The Ring General CAN be got! Jimmy’s going to Raw this Monday, he will bust Gunther’s ass, Jey will go to Mania and bust Gunther’s ass to become the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. And then they leave Las Vegas just like this: YEET!

Jimmy heads out, but then The Miz & Carmelo Hayes walk by. Miz is mocking Jimmy’s words, and he asks excuse me. Miz says it’s just funny that suddenly, Jimmy is a tough guy, even though for most of his career, he’s been “The Other Uso.” Doesn’t Jimmy get it? Jimmy and Jey are career sidekicks while Gunther is a main character. Gunther is the lead, neither Jimmy nor Jey can beat him. And here’s another thing: The Usos are just blips on the trailer that was Roman Reigns’ Bloodline. Melo says Jimmy & Jey are stuck outside the club, they can’t even get in.

Miz says as a former WWE Champion, a former WrestleMania main eventer, Jimmy will never know what it is to carry this industry. And after this year’s WrestleMania, neither will Jey. Oh, and by the way, if Jimmy ever slapped Miz like that, Jimmy would still be on the ground. Jimmy feints the slap and Miz freaks out. Jimmy says it may be him and Gunther on Monday, but he’ll holler at Aldis real quick so it can be Jimmy VS Miz here tonight. Yeah, YEET! Jimmy heads out, Melo says he thought Miz was gonna do something about the slap. Will Miz have to do something about running his mouth before he gets his teeth kicked in?

 

Solo Sikoa & Tama Tonga find Jacob Fatu backstage.

Solo asks Jacob what the Hell he was doing out there. Jacob goes out there alone without saying a thing to them? Jacob says he ain’t gotta say nothing to nobody! Matter fact, didn’t Solo not tap in with him last week? Tama says, “But Jacob,” only for Jacob to say, “But nothing, Tama!” Solo wants Jacob to lower his tone, but Jacob says okay. Let him be very clear with them. When it comes to Braun Strowman, Jacob WILL be the last man standing. Y’all better get in where you fit in, cuz that US title? Oh, Jacob’s bringing it home to the family. And he will do it with them, or without them! Yadada mean? Fatu heads out, is the Samoan Werewolf no longer following Solo?

 

Naomi speaks.

“I mean… How did we even get here? I don’t know. One thing that I do know is that I’ve always been the woman to do the right thing. I’ve always been the woman to do the right thing. So Bianca, what makes you think that my attack on Jade was anything different from me doing the right thing? When I sit here and I think about all that I’ve sacrificed, all that I’ve given, and that’s what really breaks my heart. Because through all of that, I’m made to be the bad one in this situation. I just don’t understand, how does Jade come in outta nowhere and take my place with you? I want you to ask yourself this, Bianca. Who inspired you? Hmm?

“Who’s inspired women over the last decade? Who’s always had your back from day one of you being here? Me. Not Jade. Hmm. But you know what? What I’ve learned through all of this: You teach people how to treat you. And I’m done with being treated as a third wheel. I’m done being pushed to the side, I’m done with being too nice, I’m done with being undervalued, underutilized, underappreciated! So moving forward, hmm… Moving forward, here’s my message to you, Jade. If you continue to be in my way, I strongly advise you to proceed with caution.” The Glow shows her dark side, but will the storm be moved?

 

Nick Aldis meets with Jade Cargill.

Speaking of, the SmackDown General Manager understands things have been rather difficult for her as of late. Jade says she’s been trying to get her hands on Naomi for the past few weeks, now where is she? No one has seen her all day, so as far as anyone knows, Naomi’s not here. Well, when Jade catches Naomi, it’s on sight. Jade leaves, B-Fab & Michin are there. They let her know that what Naomi did to her was straight trash, totally uncalled for behavior. And after Jade gets her hands on Naomi, she’ll handle that business. Jade agrees. Mia says they’ve all got business to handle. Jade’s got Naomi, and Mia’s gonna get Charlotte for messing with her girl, B.

B-Fab says Naomi’s got what’s coming to her: no sympathy, no regrets. Jade, just do what you gotta do. Oh, she will. Jade also wishes Mia luck tonight. Mia & B-Fab head out, will the Head Baddie in Charge make the Queen bow down in London?

 

The darkness approaches.

“You are as I was. As I am, you will be.” The shadows are starting to take shape, but is SmackDown about to fade to black?

 

Charlotte Flair VS Mia Yim w/ B-Fab!

The Queen looks down on everyone, so it’s no surprise that everyone else wants to take her down. Charlotte may have checked off B-Fab, but will the HBIC be a much different story? Or will Charlotte only sharpen her edge before facing Tiffany Stratton at WrestleMania?

WAIT! NAOMI ATTACKS B-FAB & MICHIN! Naomi drags Mia up for a FACEBUSTER! Naomi rains down fists, the ref reprimands and the fans boo, but Naomi tells the ref to back off. Naomi then BOOTS B-Fab off the apron! Naomi goes out after B-Fab to THRWO her into barriers! Naomi SLAPS B-Fab, tells her to stay down, but B-Fab gets up. Naomi fires hands, then she SMACKS B-Fab off the desk! Naomi rains down fists, but here comes Jade! Jade hurries down the ramp, she runs around the way, but Naomi runs away! Jade makes sure B-Fab is okay, but refs have to help her to the back. And what of Mia? Will she even be able to compete?

Charlotte makes her entrance, not really caring about what Naomi just did to Mia. But that means she also crosses paths with Jade. The fans like the look of this stare down, but Jade and Charlotte both let the other slide. Charlotte gets her pyro, and it seems she’ll still get her match. Will Mia be little more than an appetizer now?

The bell rings, and Charlotte BOOTS Mia down! Cover, TWO! Mia stays in this and the fans rally up. Charlotte just struts around while SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns, Charlotte has Mia down with a chinlock, but the fans rally up. Mia fights up, fires body shots, and she then blocks a shot to ROCK Charlotte! Mia ROCKS Charlotte again and again, then reels her in for a TORNADO DDT! The fans fire up as Mia hurries to cover, TWO! Mia drags Charlotte up, wrenches, but Charlotte says no to Da Feet! BIG back suplex! Mia stagger sup, Charlotte whips her, but Mia reverses! Charlotte goes up and out, BOOTS her away, then slingshots in and rolls Mia! Mia rolls through and BUZZSAWS! Mia runs corner to corner, but Charlotte avoids the cannonball!

Charlotte YAKUZA KICKS Mia down, then fires herself up! The fans “WOO~!” as Charlotte has Mia in the drop zone,. Charlotte steps on her, goes up the corner, but Mia gets underneath her! SIT-OUT POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! Charlotte survives and Mia is shocked! Mia nods as the fans rally back up, and she brings Charlotte up. But Charlotte ROCKS Mia! Mia SOBATS, PELES, and then runs to PENALTY KICK! Cover, TWO! Charlotte stays in this, Mia grows frustrated, but the fans continue to rally. Mia uses that energy to stay focused, and she stalks Charlotte to waistlock. But Charlotte ELBOWS her away!

Charlotte CHOPS, and CHOPS, and CHOSP! Charlotte winds up, and she CHOPS again! Mia sputters, but then she dodges the boot! Charlotte is caught, and Mia hits a SAIDO! Charlotte flounders to a corner, the fans rally behind Mia, and Mia runs up, CANNONBALL! Mia hurries to wrench and EAT- NO, Charlotte shoves Mia away! Charlotte gets under, back suplexes, but Mia lands out! EAT DA FEET!! Cover, ROPEBREAK!! Charlotte’s long legs help her survive by a literal foot! Mia is beside herself while Charlotte bails out. Mia storms after Charlotte, runs up, but Charlotte dodges! Mia’s kick hits steel steps!

Mia hobbles away, goes to the apron, but Charlotte CHOP BLOCKS the bad leg out! Charlotte grabs Mia’s leg, drops a KNEE on the knee, but fans chant, “We Want Tiffy!” Charlotte just steps through, FIGURE FOUR, into FIGURE EIGHT!! Mia taps, Charlotte wins!

Winner: Charlotte Flair, by submission

Charlotte got more of a fight out of Mia than expected, but she still won. Will The Queen be more than ready to reign again after WrestleMania?

 

Backstage interview with Tiffany Stratton.

Jackie Redmond is with the WWE Women’s Champion and says Charlotte certainly looks confident. Let’s be real, Charlotte came at Tiff pretty hard. It got a lot of people talking. Tiff says yes, people talk. And Charlotte sure loves to hear herself talk. Ten years into the business and Charlotte is still so insecure that she can’t let a “rookie” get a word out. But last week, Tiff did learn something: She learned that walking into WrestleMania, she isn’t the one with something to lose. Truth is, if Tiff loses, then she lost to the great Charlotte Flair, as just a 25-year-old rookie with one year into SmackDown.

But if Charlotte loses… Well, then she lost to an “undeserving, delusional, unoriginal, backflip doing, blonde-hair-having, little girl.” Did she get it all? And Tiff can’t wait to hear the look on Charlotte’s face when they hear the words, “And STILL!” Then maybe Charlotte will finally shut up for the sake of literally everyone! They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, and Tiff will make damn sure what stays is Charlotte’s massive ego. Tiff is walking into and out of Mania as the WWE Women’s Champion. Tootles! Tiff heads out, will it still be #TiffyTime after WrestleMania?

 

Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre!

The Viper told Cody how proud he was, but also how he wants the next shot after John Cena. The Scottish Terminator took offense to that, and basically said he is taking that shot instead. Will this match be an unofficial #1 contender’s match between these two former world champions?

SmackDown returns and McIntyre makes his entrance. The bell rings and the fans sing, “OH~, Drew McIntyre~!” and chant “R K O! R K O!” Drew and Orton circle, tie up, and they go around in a deadlock. Drew powers Orton to a corner, but Orton headlocks back. Drew powers up and out, then he runs Orton over! Orton hurries to ropes and Drew mockingly asks, “How’s the back feel, Randy?” Orton stands, he and Drew reset, and the fans duel some more. Drew calls for a knuckle lock, Orton accepts, but then Drew kicks low! Drew bumps Orton off buckles, then climbs up, but he panders for too long and Orton YANKS him down!

The fans fire up as Orton climbs now! Orton rains down fists, and the fans count to nine. Orton hops down, brings Drew around, and POSTS him for ten! Drew tumbles out of the ring, Orton goes out after him, and they’re by the desk! But Drew kicks Orton first and SMACKS him off the desk! Drew clears the desk, and he brings Orton up for the DESK- NO, Orton fights free! Orton turns things around, DESK BACK SUPLEX for Drew! The fans fire up while Orton leaves Drew behind, and SmackDown goes picture in picture.

Drew writhes on the floor, but Orton goes out to fetch him! Orton brings Drew around, UPPERCUTS him, then says one more time! DESK BACK SUPLEX! Drew writhes as that desk stays standing! Orton grins, refreshes the ring count, and then he storms up on Drew. Drew pokes Orton in the eye! Drew POSTS Orton now, then brings him around to RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP into barriers! Orton slumps down, and Drew also grits his teeth from that double-edged attack, but Drew fires up as he stands tall. Drew drags Orton up, puts him in the ring, then stalks Orton. Drew looms over Orton, and HIP DROPS him!

Orton sputters, Drew says one more time, and he winds up for the HIP DROP! Drew paces around Orton, says maybe one more time, and he pretends he can’t hear the fans. Drew winds up again, but Orton flips over! Hip drop meets kneecaps! And then Orton pokes Drew in the eyes! The ref reprimands but Orton rises up. Drew sputters and flounders, Orton ROCKS him with a right! Drew ROCKS Orton back! Drew storms up, Orton kicks low, but Drew fires another haymaker! The haymakers go back and forth, Orton gets the edge, but Drew GLASGOW KISS HEADBUTTS! Cover, TWO! Drew clamps onto Orton with an armlock!

SmackDown returns to single picture and the fans rally up. Orton fights up, pries at the chinbar, and then throws right hands! Drew CHOPS Orton in return! The fans “WOO~” and Drew winds up. Drew ROCKS Orton again, eggs him on, then CHOPS again! Drew shoves Orton to a corner, CHOPS again, then dares Orton to fight! Drew whips corner to corner, but Orton comes back to LARIAT! And LARIAT! Drew swings, Orton dodges, SNAP POWERSLAM! The fans fire up as Orton stalks Drew to the apron. Drew HOTSHOTS Orton first! Drew then runs in, but Orton puts him through the ropes!

The fans fire up as Orton has Drew for the DRAPING DDT! The fans fire up for Orton, and Orton hears those voices! Drew rises, but then Orton spots KEVIN OWENS! The Prizefighter is on the ramp, Orton glares at him, but then he turns around into a CLAYMORE!! Cover, DREW WINS!

Winner: Drew McIntyre, by pinfall

Kevin’s mere presence costs Orton, and now Drew has a huge win propelling him down the Road to WrestleMania! As for Orton, Kevin drags him out of the ring, SMACKS him off the desk, and then climbs up to join him! The fans boo but Kevin and his hot pink sneakers have Orton in position, but Orton slips free and TRIPS Kevin up! Kevin hits the desk then the floor! Orton staggers around, the fans rally behind him, and Orton stalks Kevin to the corner of the barriers. Orton lines up the shot! Orton runs in, but Kevin jumps over barriers! Security is there to stop Orton from pursuing, so Kevin runs away into the night!

The fans boo, but The Viper was that close! Will Orton be able to strike Kevin down and completely take him out?

 

Fire, thunder, smoke…

The force of nature is drawing ever closer. And he’s ready to fly! REY FENIX arrives next Friday Night SmackDown!

 

Jimmy Uso VS The Miz!

#BigJim gave Gunther a piece of his mind and a mark on his cheek, but it seems not everyone got the message. Will the Hollywood A-lister soon star in the Uso Penitentiary? Or will he prove Jimmy is NOT ready for a world champion level opponent?

The bell rings and the two tie up. Jimmy powers Miz to a corner, Miz turns things around, and the ref counts. Miz takes a swing, Jimmy ducks it to CHOP! And CHOP! Miz shoves Jimmy back, then runs up, but Jimmy TACKLES Miz! Jimmy rains down fists, Miz shoves him away to go to ropes, but Jimmy storms back up. Miz ELBOWS Jimmy away, then runs back up, only for Jimmy to LARIAT him down! The fans fire up while Jimmy storms up on Miz. Jimmy CHOPS Miz, has him in a corner, then whips corner to corner. Miz reverses, Jimmy goes up and over, then UPPERCUTS! Miz staggers back to ropes, but Jimmy is right on him.

Jimmy whips, Miz reverses and kitchen sink knees! Then basement BOOTS! The fans fire up, Miz scowls, and Miz KNEES Jimmy in the back again and again. Miz stalks Jimmy to the ropes now, and he CHOKES Jimmy! The ref counts, Miz runs, and Miz STRADDLE ATTACKS! The fans boo, but Miz runs again. Jimmy ducks the boot, then dodges a lariat! Jimmy runs up to LARIAT Miz up and out! The fans fire up and Jimmy builds speed, but Miz runs away! Jimmy smirks as he goes out the side, and UPPERCUTS Miz over the barriers! Jimmy makes sure Gunther knows he’s coming to get him, but SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and both men are down. Miz and Jimmy crawl, and Jimmy pounds the mat. The fans rally, Jimmy rises and runs up to LARIAT! And LARIAT! And mule kick! Jimmy then UPPERCUTS Miz, dodges a lariat, then SAMOAN DROPS! The fans fire up, Jimmy goes to the corner, “UCE! OH!” Jimmy runs in, but Miz puts him on the apron! Jimmy UPPERCUTS again! Jimmy climbs, leaps, but Miz gets under! Miz then waistlocks, ripcords, and MOVIE MAKER! Fans boo that blatant parody, but Miz full nelsons! Jimmy drops, victory rolls, TWO! Miz has the cover, TWO! Miz hurries to BASEMENT DDT! Cover, TWO!

The fans rally up as Jimmy survives! Miz stalks Jimmy, the fans rally up more, and Miz fires a KICK! And then another KICK! The fans say “YES! YES! YES!” to the It Kicks, but then Miz winds up. Jimmy ducks the buzzsaw, Miz blocks the superkick, but the DRAGON WHIP connects! Miz rebounds to B-MOVIE KNEE!! Cover, TWO!! The parodies don’t get it done, but Miz still has his original work to fall back on. The fans rally for “UCE! OH! UCE! OH!” Miz runs in, A-LIST LARIAT! Miz shoves Jimmy down, then springboards, but into a SUPERKICK! Jimmy hurries up top, for the USO SPLASH!! Cover, Jimmy wins!

Winner: Jimmy Uso, by pinfall

Miz may be a movie star, but Big Jim’s the one winning this main event! Jimmy then borrows Joe Tessitore’s headset to call out Gunther! He’s coming after dat ass on Monday! Gunther won’t be the ring general, he will be “Private Gunther,” and he will salute Big Jim! Uh, uh, YEET! Will Jimmy be the one making examples out of the World Heavyweight Champion? Or will everything come crashing down when Gunther gets his turn?

 

Drew McIntyre returns backstage.

And he says hey to Lewis Capaldi, the Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter, and also a big fan of Drew’s. They’re ready to have a good night in the pub, but Jackie Redmond walks over to congratulate him on the win tonight. She was hoping to get some thoughts on that victory and what happened with Orton and Kevin. Drew says it’s alright, this is what happens. He doesn’t care about anybody else’s business, but no one gets away with screwing him over. And when no one meddles in his business, he wins! Drew called out Priest, where is he? Priest doesn’t have the balls! So time to get mad in the pubs, everyone’s invited!

Drew turns the corner, but PRIEST IS THERE! Priest ROCKS Drew, SMACKS him off the door, then throws him into road cases! Priest ROCKS Drew, SMACKS him off the trunk of a car, and then again! Or since it’s London, “the boot.” The driver complains, but Priest BODY SLAMS that guy through a table! Drew comes back to KNEE Priest low, SMACK him off the trunk, and then off the side! They go to the hood, or bonnet for UK. Drew drags Priest up, but Priest CLAWS Drew’s eyes! Priest then sends Drew SOUTH OF HEAVEN through the windshield! Priest tells security that he’s done for now. Any more jokes, Drew? Didn’t think so! RIP, jackass!

Priest leaves, the producers hurry to help Drew, and Drew’s got glass in his eye! Will that glass help Drew see why he shouldn’t piss off the Punisher?

 

CM Punk heads to gorilla.

He has a security detail with him, and he passes by Drew writhing in pain. Punk chuckles, then continues on. Will his contract signing with Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins be just as brutal? We find out, after the break.

 

Nick Aldis is in the ring.

The SmackDown General Manager welcomes us back, and says it is his honor and privilege to be here in the O2 in London. Now, we all know why he and this table is here, and why additional security is here tonight. Tonight, we are here to sign a contract for a Triple Threat. Perhaps the biggest Triple Threat in the history of WrestleMania: Seth Rollins VS CM Punk VS Roman Reigns! The fans cheer all those names, and here comes the OTC! London puts the ones up, and Paul Heyman accompanies THE Tribal Chief out on stage. Roman raises his finger to the sky for the pyro, then security follows him to the ring.

SmackDown goes picture in picture as Roman’s entrance continues, and he raises his finger to the sky for the second round of pyro. Roman steps into the ring, SmackDown returns to single picture, and Heyman hands him a mic. The fans sing, “ROMAN! ROMAN REIGNS~!” Roman nods, the fans cheer, and now they chant, “O T C! O T C!” Roman tells London, “ACKNOWLEDGE ME!” The fans cheer again, and again chant, “O T C! O T C!” Roman smiles, but he sees the chairs are not to his liking. Heyman makes sure to put one at the head of the table. Heyman also dusts the chair off while Roman enjoys the singing of, “ROMAN! ROMAN REIGNS~!”

Roman takes a seat and says that was beautiful. The way they sing to their Tribal Chief, it’s just beautiful. The singing continues, and Heyman even joins in! Roman smiles, and he says that is what he’s talking about. That’s the OTC for you, baby! The biggest star on the planet! The OTC came here for two reasons. One: to be acknowledged; check! And two: to sign this contract. Roman does just that, and he says he’s checked both boxes. That means- “BURN IT DOWN!” Seth Rollins interrupts! The fans now sing, “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~!” Rollins struts out in his red wine paisley suit and conducts the O2 Choir all the way into the ring.

The fans cheer while Roman frowns, but Rollins takes the seat to Roman’s left. Rollins offers Heyman a chance to sing to this song, but Heyman frowns. Rollins chuckles, and he says the fans do have beautiful singing voices. He doesn’t know why Roman is in such a hurry to leave, though! This is their building! There’s a lot of history here! 12 years ago, they landed on the roof of this place in a helicopter! They came down those stairs over there, “ready to burn down the old guard!” They put the Undertaker down through the desk, and they were going to remake this company in their image!

Now don’t get him wrong, Rollins knows a lot has happened since then. They fought against each other, with each other, a little bit of love and a whole lot of hate. But Rollins dare says, as the fans continue to sing “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~,” that Rollins and Roman accomplished their mission. The fans start to chant for CM Punk, but Rollins tunes them out. Roman says, “We? We? You keep saying we. Our mission? We died a long time ago. It’s only been ME. You been here, but I done all the work! I’ve made this place what it is today! I took us to the level that we are here today! I made this place better than we found it!

“I’m the one that made us desirable to Netflix! I’m the one that took us into billion-dollar deals! Tell me, what have you done?” Rollins shouts, “I’ll tell you what I’ve done! YOU, YOU, YOU, it’s that mindset that keeps me having to screw you! You understand that? And your biggest mistake is not understanding the danger that’s right in front of us! The danger that’s right in front of you! You let the biggest snake in the world, CM Punk, into the garden! And you could’ve cut his head off at WarGames! But instead, you shook his hand. You could’ve let me finish him inside the cage at The Garden, but you didn’t. And now, I am left to do what I always do: Clean up your mess, again.”

Rollins drops his mic, picks up the pen, and signs his part. And now, here comes CM PUNK! The fans fire up and sing along with Cult of Personality, then join in on saying, “IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME~!” Punk goes to the ring, but as he grabs a mic, he goes up a corner, just like he did last Friday. “I have come here to chew bubblegum and sign a contract. And I’m all outta bubblegum.” The fans cheer the Rowdy Roddy Piper reference, and Punk hops down to take his seat on Roman’s right. Punk looks over said contract, but Roman asks if Punk needs a highlighter or something. What’s he doing? Just go to page four, clause five.

Punk does as Roman says, but Roman says Punk needs to hurry, this is precious TV time. Punk reads the segment, Roman tells Heyman to just smarten Punk up. Heyman tells Punk he knows what Punk is looking for. It is in there. They’re closing the show at WrestleMania. The fans go wild hearing that! Heyman tells Punk that he gets to live his dream of dreams. CM Punk will be a WrestleMania main eventer! The fans cheer and while Roman smiles, Rollins is furious. Roman says, “One man’s dream is another man’s favor! CHECK!” Wait, this was the favor? Rollins says no! This is not something to laugh at, and Punk does not get to tear up!

Punk is NOT deserving! He does NOT deserve this! The fans boo but Rollins continues to throw a fit! Main eventing WrestleMania is SACRED, the most important thing in the world to Rollins! More than anything! Except the fact that Punk NEVER gets to main event! This is all Roman’s fault! This is all Heyman’s fault! Rollins THROWS his mic down, paces angrily, but Punk picks up the mic. The fans cheer Punk on again, and Punk stands to thank London, to thank Chicago, to thank Louisville, Kentucky, and to thank ALL the fans. As corny as it sounds, he thanks the WWE Universe who stood by him and chanted his name for TEN LONG YEARS!

Roman says hold on, hold on. Punk shouldn’t be thanking the fans! He should be thanking the Tribal Chief! It is because of Roman that Punk gets this honor! So please, take this moment, close the show with that acknowledgement! Do this the right way. The credits are already rolling as Punk kneels before Roman!? Punk smiles, and he thanks “My Tribal Chief, the holder of the ula fala, the Head of the Table, the… Big Dog? Thank you for allowing a kid from Chicago to be graced by your presence. Thank you, My Tribal Chief, for allowing me to stand in your ring. And thank you so much. Thank you, Roman Reigns, so very much.

“But because of you, I will see you in the main event of WrestleMania.” And again, Rollins is agonizing over this. Punk finishes putting his signature on the contract, and London tells him, “You Deserve It!” Punk thanks Roman again, and then says, “But that’s not the favor that I’m owed.” WHAT?! Roman looks at Heyman and Heyman can’t look him in the eye! If getting this Triple Threat made into the main event isn’t the gift of the Wise Man, then what is?!


My Thoughts:

A good SmackDown, but they pulled off quite the paradox. They made it feel like they were struggling to fill three hours, yet they also filled the show to the point where that contract signing segment was almost bleeding over the three hour mark. Ironically, part of the problem was just how excited the London crowd was for this. The superstars still wanted to enjoy the chants and songs, but that’s time SmackDown doesn’t have to spare. It made the opening promo from Cody, Orton and Drew take longer, and it kinda did the same to the contract signing at the end. Even so, we still got a very good promo, and good stuff to set up Orton VS McIntyre.

Orton VS McIntyre was a great match, but of course Kevin costs Orton. McIntyre gets his win, Kevin and Orton have a bit of a brawl, but of course Kevin ends up on the losing end and runs off. McIntyre’s trash talk also comes back to bite him as Priest gets the better of him in their brawl. Here’s hoping Drew didn’t actually get glass in his eye, but that being the thing in kayfabe can be some good stuff. I can imagine McIntyre with an eyepatch, and he takes it off at the opportune time to get the better of Priest in their match. Also what a fitting choice for Punk to be passing by Drew suffering because of real glass.

Very good title matches tonight, but of course the status quo was kept. Pretty Deadly gets to look great here in London, but the Profits only just got the belts, they’re not going to be transitional champions like that. And Knight VS Braun was really good stuff, but honestly, Jacob Fatu going after them both should’ve been a given. Jacob also had a great promo with Solo & Tama to start adding to that divide between Jacob and Solo. I would hope Solo doesn’t screw Jacob out of the US Championship, but it feels like he will as Solo won’t stand for Jacob defying his authority, even though Solo’s been trying to make Jacob the champion all along.

Very good stuff from Jimmy Uso tonight, from his promo with #MeloDon’tMiz and then a great match with Miz. Their match ended up the de facto main event match, so that’s also great for both guys. Great win for Jimmy, but that’s likely because Jimmy is losing big time to Gunther on Monday. And it might just be me, but it feels like only now is the Jey VS Gunther build really moving, largely in part because Jimmy got involved. Jimmy’s promo after his match is something along the lines of what Jey should be saying. But I suppose as brothers, Jimmy is the one who knows Jey best and knows what Jey needs to be motivated again. And seeing Jimmy get beat up by Gunther will definitely motivate Jey…

Good final vignettes for Rey Fenix and Aleister Black. I’m a little surprised they confirmed Rey Fenix is showing up next week, and that they confirmed who Rey Fenix even is. I believe commentary confirmed Rey Fenix is Penta’s real brother, even namedropped “Lucha Brothers,” but all that is still surprising considering Fenix is going to start on SmackDown. Aleister’s vignette (at least I am fairly confident it’s his) was giving us glimpses of his silhouette, but I think there was usage of AI in the snake imagery. It was fine they did it for El Grande Americano because that is all trolling, but they really should try and do things the old fashioned way of photoshop and stock imagery.

Very good stuff in the Women’s Division tonight, though the WWE Women’s Championship portion was the weaker. Naomi’s got a great Heel persona going, her promo was great, and her going after B-Fab & Michin over them supporting Jade was a great detail. Jade runs Naomi off, helps B-Fab, but there was no helping Michin in being fed to Charlotte. Tiffany had a decent promo, and it does fit how Charlotte kept her from speaking so she finally gets things out here. It didn’t really add that much, though, but they already gave us a great brawl so not sure what more they can give.

KC Squared VS The Secret Her-vice was a very good match, but of course Chelsea made sure her team won. A Six Woman Tag of Zelina & KC Squared VS The Green Administration is certainly coming, to help give us Zelina VS Chelsea for the Women’s US Championship.

My Score: 8.7/10

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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 3.27.2025

Bad news out of the TNA management side, but this is a taped episode from El Paso! So we won’t see any of the fallout just yet!

Published

on

Now we all heard the news about the TNA change in hierarchy, and I…have no positive outlook on that. Delirious sucked at booking and creative in the dying days of ROH before it got bought as a B show. Dreamer having even more control is concerning because his ideas the last two years haven’t been much better.

Gail leaving makes more sense to me. Be it firing or a “you can’t quit, you’re fired” kind of situation, the Knockouts division is the worst it’s been in a long time and Gail was close with Scott D’Amore. So I don’t think Gail parting ways is as big of a problem since TNA has slowly been bleeding out with the Scott faithful.

Granted, I think the next few shows were already taped before the firing so things shouldn’t be completely unwatchable for at least a week or two. So let’s see where we’re going.

Ratings:

  • Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley vs Elegance Clique w/Personal Concierge: Ash wins via Rarefied Air – ** 1/4
  • Fir$t Cla$$ & Frankie Kazarian vs Laredo Kid, Octagon Jr & Chavo Guerrero Jr: Chavo wins via Gory Bomb into Frog Splash – *** 1/4
  • Jacy Jayne vs Masha Slamovich: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – ***
  • Eric Young w/two losers vs Ace Austin: Eric wins via Piledriver – ** 1/2
  • Seto & Mokuba – I mean – Nic Nemeth w/Ryan Nemeth vs Leon Slater: Nic wins via Danger Zone – *** 1/4

 

Results:

Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley vs Elegance Clique w/Personal Concierge

Ash and Gigi start off, Gigi with a little Rascalz after her first takedown. So both her and Wentz are making it obvious something’s going on between them, and I’m not mad at it. Good for my man Wentz.

Tatum and Gigi get some quick tandem offense in, Ash does manage to scurry off to a tag and Heather gets bent into a Pretzel. Some kind of Inverted Tarantula from Tatum, Gigi tags in, Bronco Buster on Heather followed by Kawada Kicks. Heather sells against the ropes, Gigi goes for a Hesitation Dropkick, but Concierge pulls her away so Gigi crashes and burns. Ref is distracted, Ash gets in some cheap shots and then the Elegant duo starts working over Gigi. A few quick tags, but once Heather comes in, Gigi fights out of the corner, gets the hot tag to Tatum. Tatum stacks up both Elegance members, Corner Stacked Crossbody, Butterfly Suplex and an Elbow Drop with some some flare. Tatum goes to the top rope, Heather pulls Gigi off the apron, Concierge shoves Tatum off the turnbuckle and Ash hits Rarefied Air for the win.

Post match the Elegance Clique wants to make their wish with the cake, they light the candles and Tatum and Gigi recover enough to do what we all expected last week, the cake in the face spot. Some…suggestive licking from both of our Hot Topic Hotties, so…no complaints here. 

Fir$t Cla$$ & Frankie Kazarian vs Laredo Kid, Octagon Jr & Chavo Guerrero Jr

Chavo and Kaz start since he’s King Petty, a quick rope run turns into a Headscissor from Chavo. Kaz recovers, they lock up, Kaz hits the Knee Lift during the lock up to tag out to KC. KC pulls off some athletic dodges, gloats a bit so Chavo waits, measures and nails a gorgeous Dropkick. Laredo comes in on fire, quick high spots that send KC bouncing around like HBK against Hulk. KC powders after sells the Satellite Takedown, AJ checks on him and we go to commercial.

Back from commercial, Octagon is lighting up KC’s chest with overhand chops, he perches, Sunset Headscissor Flip from corner to corner, KC tries to Back Drop him but Octagon does a headstand, kicks KC away and lays him out with a high spot. AJ gets on the apron to stop Octagon from running the ropes, the referee has a stroke or something because he stops paying attention and AJ pulls Octagon out of the ring and chucks him. KC with the Tope con Hilo and tag (tag ropes haven’t mattered since the 80s we all know this). So AJ is getting taunted by the crowd in Spanish, but he’s manhandling Octagon since it looks like a Child fighting their parent. AJ knocks off Chavo and Laredo, Laredo pops up and tries to get involved but he’s caught on the shoulders, Octagon goes for the Crossbody but gets caught and AJ pulls off “World’s Strongest Wasteland” but Chavo breaks up the pinfall. AJ throws Octagon into the corner, Tennessee Whiskey, and tag out to KC. KC hits a few moves, but starts to lose the momentum until he connects with a Super Kick. Simultaneous rope run into the Dueling Crossbodies, so we get the timely tag outs from both sides. Kaz and Laredo come in, Laredo lands like two moves before Kaz hits a Sole Butt, Lariat and eats his lunch. KC and Kaz try to double team Laredo but he fights out and the crowd is chanting for Chavo.

Chavo tags in, and he’s rocking KC, Saito Suplex, Low Bridge to AJ, Reverse the Whip so Chavo goes to the corner and perches, KC feeds, Chavo Backflips to safety, rolls through and lays out KC. Chavo is feeling himself, 3 Amigos start on KC but only 2, Kaz comes in and Chavo switches to Kaz for the Amigos, only 2 again before AJ breaks it up. AJ goes for the disrespect, but Chavo counters and hits the 3 Amigos on the biggest Culero. Aztec Warriors dive to stop AJ and Kaz, KC tries a Dirty Victory Roll but Chavo kicks out. GORY BOMB into FROG SPLASH!

Chavo looked fantastic and he’s the one in the best shape in the ring. I wouldn’t be mad at more Chavito. 

Jacy Jayne vs Masha Slamovich

I expect very little from this match.

Collar and Elbow, gator rolling for the first 30 seconds or so, then Jacy goes to some Hair Pull takedowns and does a little taunt before Masha pops back up and hits a Lariat into a Dive. Jacy sells it like she’s really hurt, even the ref tries to hold Masha back a little before Masha gets annoyed and just grabs her, Masha throws her in, looks for a Dive and Jacy sees it and powders. Masha tries to go back to the well for the Dive again but Jacy hits the Uppercut and then an Apron Run PK to drop Masha. Forearms rain down into a Foot Choke as Jacy continues to arrogantly play to the crowd. Another Foot Choke into a Cannonball, and near fall.

Masha gets space with a Sole Butt, tries to snap off Requiem but Jacy fights off, fights through a Sunset Flip another effective PK keeps Masha on her ass. Jacy looks for a kinda half-assed Camel Clutch as Masha is fighting up, but Jacy runs her into the corner, gets distracted mouthing off to the crowd, so Masha recovers, 5 Hole Up Kick sends Jacy into the corner, Yakuza Kick into Capo Kick for two. Requiem attempt again, but Jacy pushes off, a little back and forth, Masha tries a Backslide but Jacy gets away and hits a V-Trigger but only a 2 count. Jacy looks for the Discus Punch but Masha ducks it, they strike back and forth, but some dodges from both leave the exchange more even. Jacy with the Front Kick to the face sends Masha to the outside. Jacy wants another PK, but Masha blocks, Electric Chair Apron Snake Eyes. Masha throws her in, a PK into a near all. Requiem attempt 3, and thwarted from Jacy with a Superkick into a Neckbreaker. Senton misses from Jacy, Buzzsaw Kick, into Spinning Back Kick and Russian Death Device for the win.

Better than I expected, and Tessa attacks as soon as the bell rings. Xia Brookside and Lei Ying Li make the save after Tessa grabs the belt. 

Eric Young w/two losers vs Ace Austin

Ace and Eric tie up, World of Sport start but as soon as Ace starts to get away EY punches him in the face. Eric looks at the camera and says “This is what trust looks like”, turns his back on Ace, when Ace looks to attack, the loser duo cut him off. EY takes advantage of the weird situation, but Ace with some Up and Over quick spots, into an Inside Cradle and La Magistral. EY kicks out of the quick flash attempts, but eats a Dropkick, and Ace goes all Speed Kils on him with fast strikes and then a face buster for another near fall. Strike spot very early in the match, Ace gets the best of it, goes for a Tear Drop Suplex but EY sits on it to block, Headlocks to keep him close and then a snap Lariat into beatdown bully tactics. EY takes the referee’s attention and one of the nerds punch Ace in the face.

Eric tries to lean on Ace, but Ace fires, a few strikes, Click Click Boom, the Miz Seated Lariats in the corner, Mochizuki Triangle Kick connects! Only a 2 count, but Ace seems to be in control. Ace puts EY on the ropes, a few strikes to keep him rocked, wants a Superplex, but EY blocks, bites the face and Macho Elbow gets a very close two count. EY tries the Piledriver but Ace turns it into a Jacknife Cradle,Spinning Heel Kick, calls for The Fold, but the losers hop on the apron to distract, Ace attacks them. Ace tries to time out the Triangle Kick again, but Eric dodges, throws Ace head first through the buckles. As Ace stumbles out of the corner, Piledriver, and it’s over.

Oh look it’s the “we’ll hear from Joe Hendry” segment. Again, I’ve loved this gimmick since Day 1, even didn’t hate his What Culture Pro stuff, but there is such a thing as milking a cow too much. 

Elijah interrupts the whole “Who’s next” speech. When Elijah comes out he says he’s not the challenger and he believes in Joe. The crowd wants Elijah to turn on Hendry. Elijah pauses for a moment, and starts proving his friendship with stating his favorite color and a little “You Got a Friend in Me”. The crowd is into singing along and waving their cameras like Lighters to a 30 year old song. THANKFULLY Kaz breaks up the hug fest. Now he gets the “Culero” chant. 

Kaz pulls out a Bass…what the hell is this Jam Session. Kaz has to warm up so he plays “La Cucaracha” on the bass. Kaz…is a national treasure. Hendry kicks Kaz out of the ring after his Heelish and playfully racially charged song choices. Kaz tries to sow dissension, but Joe and Elijah pinball Kaz between them. Kaz slips a power move and tries to shove Elijah into Joe but Elijah puts the brakes on, a small tense moment. But then Joe and Elijah play “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey, Goodbye”…and that goes right into a commercial. Oddly…perfect.

Nic Nemeth w/Ryan Nemeth vs Leon Slater

Nic shoots the half immediately for a flash pinfall but Leon kicks out at one. Nic continues to keep things grounded with his amateur wrestling skills, and then does a little Dolph Ziggler show off. So Nic isn’t really taking this seriously, and Leon starts getting the best of things with an Arm Wringer, into drag, Shoulder Tackle and rope run as Nic tries to Leap Frog and Leon puts on the brakes and just shoves Nic on his ass. Nic gets annoyed, a few strikes, grinds his face along the ropes, but Leon keeps stringing some offense together, Back Handspring Elbow into his Corner con Hilo.

Ahh the classic formula of the commercial gives the heel the advantage, Twisting Suplex from Leon stops Nic’s offense momentum, right hand, Leon lifts Nic up for something, Nic slips it, kicks him in the gut, looks for the FameAsser, but Leon catches him into a Blue Thunder Bomb variation. Slater wants the Swanton 450, but Nic powders. Leon tries to adjust into a Dive, but Nic cuts him off, counter for counter and a FameAsser out of the counters for a two count. Nic starts the big brother tactics, bootwashes and arrogance, Slater fires, punches into a Yakuza Kick. Leon wants another Lethal Injection variant, but Nic catches him into a Rear Naked Choke. Slater tries to turn it into a pin so Nic breaks it. Leon wants a Leg Lariat but misses and gets unceremoniously dropped by Nic. Nic puts Leon up on the buckles, Superplex possibly but Slater counters, tries to collect himself for a move, but Nic falls into the ropes to crotch Leon, and finally hits the Superplex.

Twist of Slate from Leon, Swanton 450 but knees get up. Locomotion Cradles from both but they kick out, Ryan picks the ankle to trip up Leon just a touch and then Danger Zone ends the match.

Ryan starts the post match beatdown, but the Hardy’s music hits and they come down to the ring for the save. Matt challenges the Nemeths for Rebellion because they’re not medically cleared yet.

 

Overall Score: 6.5/10

Decent story motion, no match was offensive, and there was actually some solid match action for television standards. I don’t have a ton to complain about aside from the Knockouts Division is in a weird spot, and giving Hendry a lot of just talking and hollow payoff segments feels stupid. If we need to hear from him every week, give him a talk segment like Highlight Reel or something. Yes I know First Class just got The Penthouse, but if Hendry is going to talk more than wrestle, give him a talk segment for us to sink our teeth into.

There was the announcement that Xia, Lei Ying and Masha will face Tessa, Jacy and a mystery partner. So you gotta wonder if there’s going to be another NXT mercenary, a surprise return or if it’ll just be Rosemary since she’s got her issues with Xia. Also I just realized that Unbreakable is going to be on a Thursday, seemingly after iMPACT? I’m gonna have to see how they do it, because if there’s an Impact episode and 2-3 hour PLE…I do not want to be awake until 1am. People need to work, and I will be Unwakeable if things go that long.

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