Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.4.2024

Some of these matches are filling themselves in with the Qualifier matches and that goofy team building thing with Spitfire. Can’t say anything really interesting has kept me invested though. Do I care about Spitfire? Well I enjoy Dani Luna, but the team on a whole, nope. None of the matches look particularly complex or like they have a ton of finish options. So I’m just really curious what this is leading to with only two more shows til Slammiversary.

With the main titles mostly locked in, is there any way to make the remaining card interesting?

Ratings:

• Trey Miguel w/Zachary Wentz vs Leon Slater: No Contest, Charlie Dempsey interference – ** 1/2
• 10 Minute Challenge: Dani Luna vs Jody Threat: Draw? No Contest? Who Cares? – * 1/2
• Slammiversary Qualifier: Frankie Kazarian vs Mike Santana: Kaz wins via Count Out – ** 3/4
• Eddie & Alisha Edwards w/Brian Myers vs Matt & Reby Hardy: Hardys win via Twists of Fate – ** 1/4
• Slammiversary Qualifier: Joe Hendry vs Jake Something: Hendry wins via Standing Ovation – *** 1/4

Results:

Trey Miguel w/Zachary Wentz vs Leon Slater

World of Sport-ish open, with chain wrestling and counters but nothing really impressive and frankly kinda boring since every junior heavyweight does the same opening. It’s not until a Back Elbow and then a John Woo Dropkick to eject Trey from his Spiderman Pose in between the ropes. A quick Dive, some early hype has Leon feeling himself, he throws Trey back in and gets caught when he’s trying some offense in the corner. Wentz also gets involved from the outside after the momentum started to turn. Leon tries to fire back, but Trey grabs the locs, stomps the face, goes for a Lionsault but misses. Leon retreats to a corner, Trey chases, Leon Leapfrogs, rope runs and a run through Big Boot keeps things moving for Leon.

Strike exchange spot, of course, a myriad of strikes, they both hit the ropes and Leon catches Trey with a swinging Cutter for a near fall. Trey catches Leon with a flurry of kicks and gets a near fall. Trey went for the Jackie Bryant kick, Leon blocks, goes for a Cradle but Trey kicks out at two, Handspring Pele Kick from Trey, Leon falls back to the corner, Trey goes for a corner attack but gets caught and Blue Thunder Bombed. Leon goes to the top for the Swanton 450, but Charlie Dempsey walks down to the ring and attacks everyone.

https://x.com/i/status/1809019360620482652

10 Minute Challenge: Dani Luna vs Jody Threat

So Stardom Cinderella time limits and we get a knockouts version of what we just saw with the ABC in having a match against each other. Sure the premise is different, but are we out of fresh ideas? Especially since Spitfire is barely established, so a singles match between these two doesn’t carry the same weight as ABC.

A lot of boring feeling out until Dani puts a little more oomph into a Shoulder Tackle, that of course gets returned shortly after from Jody. You can tell TNA doesn’t care a ton about this match because they do a cut to the back since Nic Nemeth got attacked so he’s laid out on the steps for Ryan to find. Jody with clubbing blows in the corner, tries an Exploder Suplex but Jody blocks, switches spots and lands her own clubs into a Suplex. They are really just mirroring each other and this match is doing nothing for me. Jody has a Kneeling Armbar Crossface locked in for a few moments, she kicks Dani into the ropes, looks for her Double Knees into German Suplex spot, but Dani dodges and Jody goes crashing to the outside. Jody gets to the apron before the 10 count, they jockey for position, Jody hangs Dani on the top rope and then kicks her in the head to send her falling to the outside.

They fight a little on the apron, Jody Lariats Dani back into the ring, Jody goes to the top rope, Dani cuts her off, Superplex into Falcon Arrow for only a two count! Time runs out, but its kind of awkward since there’s no visible countdown clock. The girls and crowd call for 5 more minutes, and its apparently enough to restart the match…but Alisha and Masha run down and attack.

Slammiversary Qualifier: Frankie Kazarian vs Mike Santana

Start more classic X Division style, quick charges into Hip Tosses and High Spots that Santana get the best of and Kaz does a Scott Hall esque sell to flop out through the ropes. Santana tries to follow, but Kaz slips back in and lands the Leg Drop and then tosses him off the apron. Now since things are outside of the ring, Kaz is in control, Knife Edge Chops, Scoop Slams, Kaz throws Santana back into the ring and hits the Slingshot Leg Drop for a near fall. Santana tries to slow down Kaz with a Sunset Flip, but Kaz rolls through and then lays out Santana with a Forearm.

Goading slap fight that Kaz mostly gets the better of and turns it into some Double Wristlock Koji Clutch. Santana breaks the hold, they throw strikes a bit, Santana catches Kaz’s foot, hits the Enzuigiri, Kaz responds with a Superkick, Santana rebounds off the ropes, Kaz tries to Leap Frog but Santana catches him and hits a Pop Up Death Valley Driver. Kaz falls back to a corner, Santana with the Senton, but no pinfall. Kaz tries to make space for his Leg Drop, but Santana dodges the first attempt, goes of a Dive, but Kaz intercepts him! Slingshot DDT from Kaz for 2! Kaz tries the Chicken Wing but gets countered, Spin the Block attempt gets countered into a Neckbreaker, follow but a Springboard Leg Drop from Kaz for a near fall. Kaz wants Fade to Black, but Santana slips it, then tries a Cradle, but rolls through, Spin the Block attempt but miss and shove into the ropes. Santana goes for the Rolling Buck Fifty that Kaz counters into a Backstabber then Chicken Wing. Santana manages to turn it into a pinfall to break the submission, finally hits the Rolling Buck Fifty, but Kaz kicks out at 2!

Spin the Block attempt one more time, but JDC comes out to interfere and post Santana. Kaz wins via Count Out and Santana is busted open.

Did PCO just heal SDL by turning her into the Bride of Frankenstein? I’m not sure what I just watched. 

Eddie & Alisha Edwards w/Brian Myers vs Matt & Reby Hardy

Reby wants to start against Alisha, and it seems like they’re willing to oblige. Lish powders immediately, hides behind Myers and then slides in to tag in Eddie, and Eddie allows Reby to tag in Matt. Matt pins Eddie in the Hardy corner, Reby grabs Eddie’s hair while Matt clobbers him and then chokes him over the middle rope. Matt holds Eddie so Reby can slap him and then tags in Reby to Dual Stomp Eddie in the corner. Reby tags out back to Matt and Eddie eats an uppercut before starting to fire back with Kobashi style Chops. Matt lines up Eddie in the corner for a Spear, but Eddie bails and Matt posts himself.

After the commercial Eddie is in control, they try to turn the tables on Matt with the wife Slapping from the corner. Eddie tags in Alisha, but Matt throws Eddie out, tags in Reby and Reby finally gets her hands on Lish. It’s a sloppy mess but it also kinda tracks with her personality. Dual Delete Turnbuckles, a sloppy looking Hart Attack for  two on Lish. Eddie manages to get the best of Matt on the outside, Reby tries to go for a rope run, but Eddie picks her ankle and gives Lish an opening. Lish tags in Eddie, Eddie talks shit, Matt tries to protect his wife but Eddie dispatches him, Eddie tags Lish back in and a PK from Lish sends Reby reeling. Reby fights off Lish, but before she can reach Matt, Eddie cuts off the tag to allow for Lish to just smother Reby.

Lish tags Eddie back in, but he doesn’t hit Reby, he just talks smack, tries to cheap shot Matt, but Matt finally counters. A few quick strikes, Vertical Suplex, middle rope Elbow Drop for 2! Matt looks for the Side Effect, Eddie counters, tries the Tiger Driver, but Matt counters with Side Effect! Twist of Fate call from Matt, Myers gets involved and the referee sees it, and kicks him out. Twist of Fate countered into Blue Thunder Bomb for 2. Eddie argues with the referee, exposes the knee for Boston Knee Party but Reby gets in the way, Lish tries to distract the ref, but it backfires, Reby kicks Eddie in the balls, Twist of Fate on Lish and then Matt Twist of Fate on Eddie for the win!

Slammiversary Qualifier: Joe Hendry vs Jake Something

Slow power start until Hendry gets an early pop spot with the Stalling Suplex on Jake. But Jake eats the move and rope runs and runs through Hendry, literally. Two Shoulder Tackles and then just runs into Hendry head first, and our favorite wrestler Joe Hendry, is reeling. Hendry powders, tries to mount some offense but Jake connects with a straight right, slams Jake onto the apron and then a Flying Crossbody into the seated on the apron Hendry. Back in the ring, Lariat into a Power Slam for 2. Hendry tries to find some momentum with a few Uppercuts, but Jake turns it around, okidoke in the corner, he flips Hendry to the apron, Jake hits the ropes to try and Spear Hendry, but Hendry jumps in and a Back Elbow levels Jake. Jake starts getting control back, so Hendry tries locomotion Cradle attempts until Jake’s Forearm cuts that attempt off.

“Something sucks” is a funny crowd chant. It’s so…Philadelphia for many reasons. Back and forth power attempts but Jake gets the best of things with a Michinoku Driver. Hendry kicks out, Jake keeps more clubbing blows across Hendry’s chest, goes for a Rear Naked Choke, but Hendry stands up with Jake on his back and  drops backwards to break it. They head to the outside, Headbutt from Jake, redo the seated apron spot, Jake tries to Crossbody again, but misses and throats himself on the bottom rope! Hendry mows down Jake a few times, Sack of Shit into a Kip Up! Standing Ovation blocked, Axe Handle across the back into a Sitout Powerbomb for 2! Into the Void countered, Back Body Drop countered by Jake, Thesz Press drops Joe, but another Kip Up and they level each other! Jake misses the Splash in the corner, Cutter from Hendry! Standing Ovation! Hendry holds it with one arm for effect, and then wins the match!

Overall Score: 4/10

It took 90 minutes to get a real finish tonight. This was just a nothing burger of a show, 3 non-finishes, Bleach levels of filler crap, an intergender match that no one wanted and the finish was obvious…but at least the main event was solid. It does continue to show the lack of direction TNA always has for Jake Something though…which is frustrating. But the match did make me think, between his arrogant NXT promo, implying Jake was a virgin in the pre-match promo and then posing a little cocky before hitting the Standing Ovation; are we seeing a slow heel turn for Joe Hendry? I mean I get that he’s supposed to be the funny tweener who makes songs that are insulting, like a more comedy oriented Doctor of Thuganomics. But the mannerisms felt much more heelish tonight.

Maybe I’m over analyzing since the episode was useless. But it’s at least something to ponder going into next week.