Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 8.8.2024

You missed nothing last week, trust me. A pointless title defense, yet another wrestling wedding, and generally a whole lotta…nuthin. I’ve been in comas more thought provoking than last week’s show.

Do I have any faith in this week? Honestly…no. TNA has been a smattering of okay matches but asinine stories more often than not. Let’s see if they start steering out of this cringe garbage spin they’ve been in for the majority of Scott’s departure.

Ratings:

• Ultimate X Qualifier Match: Jake Something vs Trent Seven vs Speedball Mike Bailey: Bailey wins via Ultima Weapon – *
• Kushida vs Jonathan Gresham: Kushida wins via Hoverboard Lock – *** 1/4
• TNA Knockouts World Championship: Jordynne Grace (c) vs Rosemary: No Contest after ASH by Elegance interference – ** 3/4
• Ultimate X Qualifier: KC Navarro vs Zachary Wentz vs Dante Chen: Wentz wins via UFO Cutter – ** 1/2
• Wolfgang vs Joe Hendry: Hendry wins via Standing Ovation – ***

Results:

The System walks out and Alisha immediately gets on the mic and says “DO YOU WANNA KNOW SUMTHIN”, and the crowd is reacting well to her, as in booing her and drowning her out. She is one of the bright spots of the last few months. Alisha’s character work has been great, her ring work has gotten a little better too…but mostly her character work. 

This is from Tampa, and I have to say, this is the best crowd in a TNA event in a long time. 

Gresham is doing an interview with Gia…in normal Jonathan Gresham look. He says he hasn’t been feeling well, cause even Gia is confused by the sudden gimmick change. 

Ultimate X Qualifier Match: Jake Something vs Trent Seven vs Speedball Mike Bailey

Time for Jake to lose again! Why push a dude who is athletic and like 6’3″. I really hate how TNA has treated Jake.

Trent and Speedball try to work together a little early, but then each goes for a quick pinfall, Jake moves when Speedball goes for the Golden Triangle Moonsault so Speedball only hits Trent. Bailey goes for a Tope con Hilo, but Jake catches him, rolls through, slams him into Trent Seven and then Powerbombs Bailey on the apron. Jake brings Trent in, Trent blocks the Powerbomb attempt, on the Shoulders, but Bailey is already perched and Missile Dropkick sends them all tumbling down. Bailey connects with his kicks on Jake, Running Shooting Star for 1. Jake powders and Trent and Bailey go for a Chop Off. Bailey and Trent keep trading, Bailey slips a Suplex attempt and then they wait for a few extra seconds for Jake to hit his mark. This match has not been good because the timing is suspect at best.

Poison Rana from Bailey on Jake, Trent is already up top, Bailey tries a Superplex, but gets turned inside out an Avalanche Flowsion forces Jake to break up the pinfall. Jake and Trent square off, Bailey tries a Rear Naked Choke, Jake still tries to pull off the Powerbomb, it’s just sloppy. Bailey breaks up the Into the Void attempted finish with a La Magistral into Tornado Kick and then Ultima Weapon.

Garbage match.

Tasha Steelz has a vignette after an Xplosion clip that showed her very slowly and sloppily needing to cheat to beat Gisele. Gisele is actually someone who should be pushed, because she’s a damn good wrestler when she’s allowed to turn it up. Tasha is…a better mouthpiece than wrestler. God this is a painful first like 30 minutes.

https://x.com/i/status/1821707214513660230

Hammerstone wants in on the Ultimate X Qualifiers, and him taking the old Kevin Nash perspective of small guys doing flips being “cute”; its a potentially fun way to utilize Hammerman.

Kushida vs Jonathan Gresham

Gresham is starting off very much like his classic Sun Tanned Dean Malenko gimmick. Offering handshakes, World of Sport technical chain wrestling, that style that many of us love Gresham for. Kushida is the first to hook the Headlock, Gresham tries to get out with a Belly to Back, but Kushida maintains the hold, Kushi flips back when Gresham tries again and goes right back to the Headlock. It’s old school grappling right now, but an Atomic Drop finally gives Gresh some air. Gresham goes to muscle Kushida into a Suplex, but Kushida blocks it, they fight for positioning for a little before Gresham picks the leg and manages a modified Figure Four. Kushida trying to break the hold, but Gresham doing great work, stands up with it and then goes for the Wrestler’s Bridge with the Figure Four. Gresham tries to turn it into a pinfall, Kushida literally presses Gresham up to try and roll a shoulder. Kushida finally gets to the ropes and Gresham says he’s stuck, for longer than I’ve seen. Kushida takes umbrage as both are selling their legs from the tie up.

Junior Style strikes, Gresham floors Kushida with a Dropkick. Both fire, and run at each other with Knife Edge Chops, Gresham is in the Driver’s Seat, he looks for a Brainbuster…but Kushida blocks. Gresham finally gets the Suplex, then goes into a Single Leg Crab, but Kushida crawls to the ropes. Cleaner break this time, end arounds for positioning from both men as Gresham looks for the Octopus Stretch, but Kushida blocks it and goes for a Dragon Screw variation. Kushida finally starts aiming at the left arm, Gresham starts to dodge, World of Sport Headlock spot again, Gresham turns it into an over the shoulder Cradle for 2. Kushida finally gets the Soccer Ball kick to the left arm and hunts for the Hoverboard Lock. Shoulder Tackle, into Tanaka Punch, Gresham dodges, comes off the ropes and Kushida rolls through and into the Hoverboard Lock for the submission victory.

TNA Knockouts World Championship: Jordynne Grace (c) vs Rosemary

Jordynne going full Red and Yellow colors, and new Butcher Baby Rosemary answering the open challenge.

Jordynne offers the handshake, Rosemary grabs the hand, pulls her in and goes right after her. Headscissors in the ropes over the apron…that’s a first for me. Rosemary throws a few more punches, goes a little manic for a second and then heads back into the ring. Jordynne finally starting to counter some of this manic zombie demon energy. World’s Strongest Slam into Vader Bomb from Jordynne for 2! Jordynne goes directly for the Juggernaut Driver, standing switches, Back Elbow catches Rosemary, but Rosemary sells back and then rushes in with a Spear. Jordynne tries to counter some of this momentum with a Powerbomb, but Rosemary counters with the Back Body Drop into another Spear.

Rosemary tries As Above So Below, but Jordynne counters, Death Valley Driver into a near fall. They fight up to the buckle, Rosemary wants an Avalanche As Above So Below, but Jordynne counters into a Superplex. Tries the Jackhammer continuation but Rosemary slips it and connects with a German Suplex. ASH by Elegance comes down in a glittery cat suit, grabs a pink Kendo Stick and beats on both women. The referee finally turns to see ASH posing with her pink Kendo stick and throws out the match.

Decent match, solid moment for ASH showing a little more of her persona. So I’m not too mad at the finish.

Josh Alexander comes down to a chorus of boos and “you sold out”. Josh reacts decently, but him starting off saying that weeks ago people would be chanting “walking weapon” isn’t really accurate. Months ago maybe…but he got stale real quick. Josh runs down everyone including Nemeth. Nemeth’s music hits, he walks down, grabs a mic, pegs Josh with it and then Superkicks him. Well that’s one way to get me on Dolph’s side.

Ultimate X Qualifier: KC Navarro vs Zachary Wentz vs Dante Chen

Hard for me to believe Wentz loses this when KC Navarro is a well known indie guy, but he’s not established, and Chen is still a fairly fresh face in NXT. 

Quick Arm Drags for everyone into locomotion Cradles from everyone and then a stare down. Leap Frog from Navarro into a Frankensteiner on Wentz, Spiderman Rope Catch, Chen crashes into Wentz as Navarro dodges. Hula Hoop Wrecking Ball into an Asai Moonsault to keep Navarro in control. Chen tries something but Sattelite DDT from Navarro for a near fall. Normal Wrecking Ball Dropkick keeps Wentz on the outside, and Chen and Navarro get more shine.

Chen tries something, gets pushed off into the ropes, Wentz Stun Guns him, Navarro with the Superkick to stay in control but Chen fires, twists both together, Pump Kick into a Rip Cord Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker. Wentz is perched, tries to fight off Chen, Navarro with the Enzuigiri to rock him, Chen manages a Draping DDT position on Navarro, Wentz Flip Neckbreaker into combo DDT spot. Back Handspring Knee, into UFO Cutter on Navarro for the win!

Okay match, just didn’t leave much doubt in the mind who was winning. Fun enough spot fest though.

Wolfgang vs Joe Hendry

Hendry has a long promo segment, essentially providing the context for the match for those uninitiated, and then Hendry lights Wolfgang up! Wolfgang powders, Hendry follows and starts bouncing his face off the apron before exchange a few strikes. Hendry is getting the better of most of this. He even throws Wolfgang back in, allows Wolfgang to get back up, feints going into the ring to bait Wolfgang to try an Elbow Drop that only catches the mat.

Eventually the playful smugness gets caught by Wolfgang and a few strikes into a Cobra Clutch starts to slow down Hendry. Off the ropes, Hendry catches Wolfgang with a Knee, Wolfgang retreats to the corner, gets the boot up, tries to hop to the ropes and dive at Hendry, but Hendry just side steps and smirks. Hendry doing the Samoa Joe “nope’, works very well for his character. Hendry powders out to absorb the crowd and Wolfgang follows with a few heavy strikes and a Scoop Slam. Hendry barely beats the 10 count, and Wolfgang continues and aims for the small of the back. Wolfgang looks for a Suplex, but Hendry immediately counters into a Stalling Suplex of his own. “We Believe” chant kicks up and Hendry is coming back. Forearms, Uppercuts, Flying Elbows into the Sack of Shit…where Hendry sells the weight and back damage before pulling it off, followed by the Kip Up. Standing Ovation is blocked, and countered into Wasteland and then a Vader Bomb on Hendry’s back for a near fall. Wolfgang heads back to the top for The Howling, MISSES! Hendry fires, Lariat! Standing Ovation to a standing ovation.

Overall Score: 5.5/10

Gresham versus Kushida was an unexpected good match, but I really don’t know what they’re doing with Gresham now. This better not be a Dollar Store fiend or Abyss/Joseph Parks thing. If Gresham is back to Dean Malenko Jr, that’s fine, that works. No goofball back and forth, the Octopus was ruined, let it die. Plus Hendry versus Wolfgang was a solid TV Main Event. However, everything else was…cringe or forgettable.

Ultimate X Qualifiers were obvious, ASH being the wrinkle in the Jordynne match was okay to build on their feud, but still not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Steph de Lander’s late night 900 number vignettes were cringe and obvious that something was gonna happen to PCO. Do I appreciate seeing SDL in nightwear? Yes of course, I’m not complaining about her…just the whole trope riddled stupidity of the angle. Tasha also getting a fill for time angle with Gisele just proves how devoid of talent the Knockouts Division currently is. Gisele, Rosemary and Jordynne are really the top of the division. Xia, Dani, ASH and Masha need a serious push, but could have something…just need to cut bait and figure things out. Start by removing the Knockouts Tag belts again, as you can see, 2 of the 4 mid card girls with potential are stuck in the useless tag division, ASH might finally take down the juggernaut and Xia had her shot but has been more of a supporting character in angles and not really wrestling a ton.

But yeah, a couple decent matches, Hendry looked like a star in this episode, which he is. But you could skip this and not be too lost come Emergence.