Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 11.14.2024

Well now we’re starting with a new set of tapings, and I don’t think I heard about any crazy injury issues. So let’s see what is supposed to make sense going into Turning Point, because let’s be honest, since Scott left the stories have been inane, the booking has been questionable at best and even though the hype of the TNA name being back is probably driving attendance for major events…let’s not act like this has been “good” in the last 8 months.

Here’s to hoping Genesis kicks off some semblance of logic in the storytelling, because if these shows are mostly bad and only carried by a handful of decent matches or entertaining vignettes every couple of weeks…that ain’t enough.

But hey, I guess we’ll see…right? Why do I have a feeling this week will suck?

Ratings:

• KC Navarro w/AJ Francis vs Mike Santana: Santana wins via Spin the Block – ** 1/2
• Alan Angels & Jake Crist vs The Rascalz: Rascalz win via Feed Em to the Lions – *
• The Northern Armoury (Josh Alexander, Judas Icarus & Travis Williams) vs Eric Young, Steve Maclin & Jonathan Gresham: Josh wins via C4 Spike – **
• Ryan Nemeth vs Joe Hendry: Hendry wins via Standing Ovation – **
• Rosemary vs Jada Stone: Rosemary wins via As Above So Below – Squash
• Nic Nemeth vs Brian Myers: Nic wins via Danger Zone – ** 1/4

Results:

KC Navarro w/AJ Francis vs Mike Santana

Navarro is a punching bag early on, he thinks he outsmarts Santana a few times but pays for the arrogance, but it is very entertaining. From not being able to Roll-Up Santana cause Navarro is too small or getting kicked into AJ’s arms like a small child. But finally AJ being out there pays some dividends for Navarro…or not, never mind, one Suicida and then Santana no sells a few chops and ragdolls Navarro. Navarro tries to use some of his speed to catch Santana off guard a few times, but Santana catches him, blocks the Rana, turns it into the Wheelbarrow Overhead Facebuster, transitions into a Sitout Powerbomb for 2, and the Spin the Block puts Navarro away.

No one should be surprised, but KC is a gem, he’s money money…yeah…yea.

Alan Angels & Jake Crist vs The Rascalz

Jake being back is always nice, but Angels is more like an Albatross. Rascalz pull off the ACS Rush as an ode to the MCMG and The ABC combination flurry. So nice feel good babyface stuff. Half Nelson Suplex from Angels on Miguel after some cheating and suddenly Rascalz are on the receiving end. After some slow and arrogant heel offense, we finally see Trey snap off a Suplex and get Wentz in for the hot tag. Simultaneous time, Jake and Wentz are in, and Wentz is beating the hell out of the Golden Draw. Wentz tags Trey, they go for some tandem stuff but Angels rips Wentz out of the ring, Jake pulls off the Marufuji Kick Corner Combination to get space, Trey looks for the Meteora, Angels picks the foot and tags in, combination Kick into Splash from Angels…and…Wentz makes the diving save.

Wentz starts flying around with Trey, stereo corner attacks, assisted Dropkicks, a flurry of offense, FEED EM TO THE LIONS! Wentz dives out on Jake and Trey gets the pinfall.

The right team went over, but I can’t care when Angels is involved.

Spitefire has a terrible and cringe promo, that I refuse to embed. The fact I’m even mentioning it is enough to question my sanity.

The Northern Armoury (Josh Alexander, Judas Icarus & Travis Williams) vs Eric Young, Steve Maclin & Jonathan Gresham

The dorks of the Armoury are getting manhandled by the babyface or tweener team. I don’t know which jabroni is which, and I refuse to learn because they suck. We go to picture in picture once they heels take a few shortcuts and get the upperhand, so nothing of great impact happens. The bald jaborni is in the ring with Maclin when we finally come back, Bell Clap, Backfist but Maclin hits the Busaiku Knee to stop the attacks. Simultaneous tags EY and Josh are in! EY comes out hot, a few right hands, Neckbreaker, Tombstone Piledriver reversal into the Youngblood Neckbreaker for two! EY tries to knock down the jabronis on the apron and Josh takes the chance to hit a few German Suplexes and simultaneous tags again.

Gresham and hair jabroni do a Fighting Spirit spot that Gresham gets the best of for a while, but the standing switches go against Gresham, hair jabroni trips him, PK into a Elbow Drop Variant. Looks for the tag team tandem move with his imbecile buddy, Up in the Clouds gets countered, but numbers game works in the heels favor. The jabronis feed Josh, try to set up the C4 Spike but they get grabbed out of the ring, Gresham counters the C4 with a Double Legged Cradle, Gresham gets a few moves in and goes to the top, jabronis attack Gresham, Sudden Silence nearly wins the match until Maclin bull rushes one into the Pinfall.

Lots of just schmoz spots, eventually EY hits the Spicolli Driver, Caught in the Crosshairs from Maclin on Josh, EY looks for the Macho Elbow but Maclin won’t stop pummeling Josh. EY and Maclin have a moment, but this becomes a comedy of errors with all the babyfaces trying to cover the other’s back and Josh drives Maclin into EY, hits the C4 Spike and I can’t find myself caring enough about this match or about 1/3rd of the participants names.

Is frustration getting the best of @SteveMaclin? @TheEricYoung

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Ryan Nemeth vs Joe Hendry

Hendry starts off by saying he has a directors cut, and it’s the same, so solid joke. The crowd chants “One More Time” so he plays it again and then Ryan attacks. Ryan gets like 30 seconds of offense and doesn’t really do much, Hendry starts firing a few Uppercuts that seem to rock Ryan more than anything he’s done. Ryan manages to ground Hendry and go for a Sleeper Hold that Hendry of course charges up back to his feet, fights out of, but Ryan drives the Shoulder into Hendry’s gut in the corner and goes back to the Sleeper spot for Hendry to fight back up from, but Ryan pulls the hair to pull him down.

Very basic match so far, Rude Awakening from Ryan as he goes to the top rope…jaws at the crowd who’s chiding him, and Hendry gets up and throws him from the top. Hendry fires a few punches, two Lariats, Sack of Shit into the Kip Up and spin around to start the Standing Ovation stomp…gets him up and down! Hendry wins to no one’s surprise.

Rosemary vs Jada Stone

So we get a Rosemary enhancement match instead of something moving Lei Ying Lee and Savanna Evans’ story further? What are we gonna get a dumb vignette or something instead of actually building up lesser established talent? And yes, I’m just going with stream of consciousness because no one cares about this. Rosemary will win, it’s an enhancement match, Rosemary will play with her food until she decides she’s bored. Spear into As Above So Below, the crowd goes…to get snacks.

Nic Nemeth vs Brian Myers

Nic looks for the Superkick immediately to reference their last WWE match, but Myers powders, Nic gives chase and then Myers cuts him off and lands a few early shots. Two big sternum first Irish Whips, rope choke, and okay Nic slips the Press, connects with a Dropkick and then returns the Irish Whips in kind. Nic smashes Myer’s face into a turnbuckle, turns it into a Head and Leg Cradle for 2. Body Slam from Nic, he sets up for the Superkick but Eddie gets involved to stop it and the ref sees, so kicks him out. Nic is too busy waving and teasing Eddie, Myers tries a Roster Cut from the blind side but Nic ducks it and Myers spills to the outside. Alisha gets in the way to stop Nic’s momentum and Myers rams him into the apron and then throws him into the steps before hitting his Raven pose and we go to picture in picture, so nothing worth talking about will happen. Just plodding offense, rest holds and we’ll probably come back in time for the babyface to make a comeback.

Oh look we come back from PiP, Nic with a cut off comeback, but Manhattan Drop gets countered and Nic connects with a Dropkick to start his comeback. Two Lariats, Shot to the Heart Elbows, tunes up the band…but Myers ducks and cowers so Nic has to adjust. Myers hits a big Gamengiri into an Implant DDT for 2! Myers looks for the Roster Cut, but Nic catches him in a Jumping DDT into the FameASSer for another two count! The referee checks on Myers, Nic looks to tune up the band again and Lish uses Kendra to wack Nic a few times! Spear from Myers! Only a two count. Hendry leaves the announce desk and just picks up Lish and walks out with her kicking and screaming. Myers is distracted, so he eats a Superkick into Danger Zone, aaaannnddd Eddie attacks Nic after the win.

Hendry comes back out with Kendra, beats on Myers and Eddie, nearly hits Nic but stops himself and they have a tense moment. But Hendry made the save with only stares and tension being shared between him and Nic, nothing more. 

The show also goes off the air with a weird vignette of Maclin getting into his vehicle and this weird Country Christian “I Will Rise” somber song playing. They’re really trying to make it seem like he’s chewing on that stuff EY said? Do it in the ring, not through a dumb vignette with an obscure song. 

Overall Score: 0/10

Give me my 2 hours back! I was lenient last two weeks because they were working around injuries that probably affected some bigger stories, but this was a fresh set of tapings and we get this car crash soaked in diarrhea? Shoehorning in attempts at logic and random matches because of dumb reasons, whoever is booking, be it Delirious, Dreamer, NOSAWA, Tua Tagovailoa’s CTE…I don’t know, but fire them, not once, but twice. Send Dahyun or Nayeon to soften the blow and make sure the Twice joke lands, but just fire the booker.

I don’t even have anything positive or reflective to say about this episode. It was bad, whatever it set up for next week is stupid, so many matches that shouldn’t be booked because there’s no tension. Like there’s been plenty of bad episodes and strings of terrible television, but this was offensively stupid and a time waste.