Entertainment

Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (12/12/24)

Dinner is served.

Published

3 days ago

December 12, 2024

Steven Mitchell

Itadakimasu~!

Fin Balure & Ruto finally cash in that Fyter Feast dinner, but will everything be to their liking? Or will something, or someone, spoil their appetite?

Fin & Ruto are given VIP treatment at Conundrum.

The Zora Rock ‘n’ Rolla and Zora Princess arrive at Hyrule’s premier restaurant, and are taken right to the best table they have. Ruto thanks Fin for thinking of her when choosing who his “plus one” would be. Fin says of course he’d choose her. A fine lady like her deserves the finer things in life. Ruto playfully says, “Oh, you~! But that’s true.” They clink their glasses in a little toast, and the waiters bring the most luxurious, lavish, and expensive items on the menu. After all, the Fyter Fest win means HPW is footing the bill.

Mushroom skewers, honeyed fruit platter, honey glazed vegetables, honey glazed ham and even honey glazed salmon, as well as salt-grilled gourmet turkey and curry. All deliciously worthy of Conundrum’s reputation, as well as the standards of Ruto. And of course, dessert is saved for last. Ruto decides to have the wildberry pie and says she’ll share it with Fin. The two wait, and a waitress with familiar purple hair but a big pair of glasses and a big nose walks over. The waitress asks if they enjoyed their meal so far, and both Fin & Ruto say yes, it was excellent. Oh, wait, that’s not wildberry pie. Oh, it’s not? Sorry, she’ll take care of this for them.

And then the waitress SMASHES the pie into Ruto’s face! Ruto falls right out of her chair, Fin is furious, but reveal! This was Ladrona all along! And Ladrona flips the table onto Fin! Everything is a mess, Ladrona tells Ruto she’ll see her at HyruleMania, and then Ladrona runs off! Ruto and Fin flounder out of what’s left of their meal, and Ruto shrieks in anger! Fin angrily shouts, “Check please!” Humiliated as they are, will Ruto make Ladrona rue the day she took the HPW Goddess Championship from her?

My Thoughts:

Sorry for being perhaps a few days late on this, but c’mon, Thanksgiving basically starts the countdown to Christmas, this is a busy time of year. But this was a fun little spot to parallel some rather silly “on location” promos from WWE and even AEW. Here’s hoping I can still devote good time and energy to my usual “Dawn of the [X] Day” articles on top of the actual HyruleMania matches.

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