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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (5/2/22)

What gives, Gibdo?

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HPW News 2022

Fallout from the ThunderStruck!

Fallout from HPW ThunderStruck! What does Gibdo have to say about joining the UnderWorld Order? What’s Link thinking about the coming Triple Threat?

 

After the HPW Death Mountain Championship match.

Tali holds up the title and Shabonne sings her praises.

“The Dame of the Dunes is unstoppable! The Dame of the Dunes is undeniable! There is no way she will ever lose this title!” Shabonne dares anyone to step up to Tali so that she can knock them “down off the mountain.”

 

After the Fused Shadow piece match.

Midna floats in, putting the two pieces she has together.

“I said my piece out there in the ring. Ghirahim better be ready to pay.”

Ghirahim storms in.

He’s obviously upset after losing, again. He repeats Midna’s words in a mocking tone, “Wherever HPW goes in June, you and I are settling this!” He scoffs and then reveals the third piece. “This doesn’t end until I say so! She has to beat me to get this last piece, and that will never happen! NEVER!”

 

After Dark Forces VS UnderWorld Order.

The uWo celebrate as they walk in.

A lot of cheering and hollering, then Hollywood ReDead says, “Get used to us celebrating! Because I’m going to be your NEW HPW Triforce Champion!” They laugh and head out, splashing and spraying champagne.

The Dark Forces trudge in.

Kage is scowling, as usual, but Cia is fuming. She still doesn’t know why Gibdo joined up with the uWo. But then Gibdo walks over? He’s no longer in the black ‘n’ white, he’s back in the purple ‘n’ silver. Cia asks what the hell is he doing. Is he trying to make fun of them or something? Gibdo is confused, he isn’t sure what happened. What is he talking about? He was just out there! No he wasn’t. What? Yes, he was! Everyone saw him! Gibdo is only more confused but the others push past him.

 

After the HPW Termina Championship match.

The Ikana Royal Family sulk in.

We all saw Fin Balure find a way out of the Grave Stone hold, and the ice pack is a reminder. Igos does not speak, and his followers only focus on helping him away.

The Arrow Club celebrate as they walk in.

Fin Balure has the title around his waist while the Young Ducks praise him with bows and fanning hands. Balure says, “A great match, a great win. This is a great start, but that’s just it: it’s only the start. We said, didn’t we? We’re coming for everything. All HPW has to do is give us a target.” Mack Jackson pretends to fire a bow and arrow and adds a “PEW~” and Rick even goes, “CACAW~!” before the trio heads out.

 

After Blood & Thunder.

The Desert Flowers walk in.

Riju has a bandage on her forehead and each of them have ice packs. “A reign of four months and a day,” Aveil says. “We won these at HyruleMania 2, and we thought the new year was going to be our year. But it seems not.” Buliara says the Blood & Thunder match is definitely a brutal match. The challenge was clearly too great, but they vow to be back again.

Forged By Violence walks in.

The Dark Nuts have big ice packs on their faces and they do their best to follow Iron Knuckle in. They manage to make it to a table and sit down feeling very sore. Knuckle takes a moment to catch his breath, and he looks into the camera. “You won this time, Ganondorf. Blood & Thunder lived up to the name. Just wait. We’ll be back.”

Ganondorf and team walk in.

Ganondorf is patched up, too, but he doesn’t even seem to care. He, Zant and Agahnim hold up the belts triumphantly for the photo ops. Ganondorf says, “Tonight was hell. But in the end, we made it through. And now, we’re going to celebrate! I’m back on top, and there’ll be no stopping me now!” Agahnim adds, “There’ll be no stopping US now!” Zant adds a “Yeah!” but Ganondorf doesn’t seem to acknowledge them. Will this be a new reign of terror from the Gerudo Ace?

 

HPW Media finds Link backstage.

The HPW Triforce Champion is with HPW Goddess Champion, Zelda, and the Skyfall Stud, Groose. The reporter asks Link how he feels about Hollywood ReDead winning a part of the title match without actually having to compete. Link scowls but Groose speaks up first. “That’s really sad that ReDead doesn’t have the guts to actually fight for what he wants. Instead, he has all his cronies fight for him. But ain’t no way Link here’s gonna let some scrawny clown snatch this title away from him. Right, bud?” Link nods. And what about Kage? He and Link had it out at Clash of Fates, how does he feel about meeting him again?

Link sighs and scratches the back of his head. He winces a bit, but then Zelda speaks up. “It’s certainly an emotional trial, isn’t it? A long lost brother, consumed by anger, and he’s taking it out on Link. I think Kage wants to hurt Link more than become champion, and unfortunately, ReDead can take advantage of it all.” Link and Groose both look at her and she apologizes for putting pressure on Link. The reporter thanks them for their time and moves on. Will the Hero of Hyrule be able to overcome the obstacles ahead?


My Thoughts:

Probably not the best one of these fallout articles, but I ended up making this in a bit of a rush. There’s a lot still coming even though we just had ThunderStruck, but that’ll be announced in another article in a few days.

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Bandwagon Nerds #288: Disney In The Desert

Disney makes a controversial decision about where it is building its 7th theme park. Plus, loads of trailers, Thunderbolts* news, DCU updates, and more!

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Bandwagon Nerds Mario

Patrick returns to the show this week and leads the guys through a stacked Trailer Park, including the most recent previews of Old Guard 2, The Long Walk, Peacemaker Season 2, and Stick. Patrick also shares his thoughts with Dave and Tunney about Thunderbolts* and addresses some interesting rumors about what didn’t make it into the film. Meanwhile, Disney makes a very divisive decision about a 7th theme park, and President Trump’s trade war targets the film industry. It sounds crazy, but it’s true. If you are curious, we have answers, so make sure you tune in!

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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (5/9/25)

June will be electric!

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Prepare for the most electrifying even of the HPW calendar!

While the stage is set for Blood & Thunder 4 and the HPW World Trios Championships, HPW must also address the return of KAGE!

 

Thundra Plateau is ready.

Wrestling is Life, but life has its stormy weather. The rain is going to be hot in June, but will the reign continue through the Summer? The Dark Forces may have failed to take the Undisputed Triforce World Championship from Zelda, but they still have the World Trios Championships. Harlequin, Lupay & Glutko will step inside the double ring, double cage to defend their gold. On one side, Arrow Club’s special combination of Fin Balure, Torbevito & Bad Croc Scaly. On the other, a new combination of its own in Cia, Lana & Midna.

 

Speaking of Cia, Lana & Midna…

The three of them are together, dressed in workout attire, in what appears to be a dance studio. This is a collaboration stream for Midna and Lana as they’re both big presences on the internet, aka “influencers.” Lana and Midna wave and say hi, and they give introductions, including Cia, who is reluctant to be standing there. Cia doesn’t know why they need to do this. Lana says they have to improve their teamwork. They may have won against Los Taros Locos, but it was really sketchy there for a second. Midna adds that doing a dance routine together is great for their timing and coordination.

Cia says she didn’t mean that, she meant having to stream it! Oh, well obviously, combining Midna’s viewing audience with Lana’s, and HPW’s overall, this makes huge numbers! So? And huge money…! Cia raises her eyebrow and says, “Oh really?” The trio sets up, and Lana says obviously they first have to learn the steps. Midna brings up, “Wait, what song are we dancing to?” Oh, good point. Lana was thinking something from Lulu. Cia asks, “Lulu? From the Indigo-Go’s?” Midna says Lulu’s got a great solo album. Lana agrees! That’s so great that they like the same music. Cia isn’t as familiar with her solo stuff, so she’ll rely on them for this.

Lana suggests they go with Energetic Me. For one, it has the most energy, duh. And it still has a dance vibe, which is the whole point. Midna says she might’ve gone with Royal Discotheque or Ten Outta Ten, but she sees Lana’s point. Lana shows them the dance moves she has in mind. Left arm up, bent at the elbow, and the hand up against the side of the chest. Then they switch so the right arm goes up to mirror that position while the left hand goes back to the hip. Maybe add a little hip pop as that happens. Do that a couple times, and then turn to the right. This puts the left hand on the back of the hip, right hand on the back of the neck for a sexy pose.

Then you turn to flip it the other way, then do a 360 with a big neck whipping, hair flipping move. Then finish with feet apart and double V’s up by the eyes, maybe with a wink. Cia says, “Yeah, okay…” while Midna says, “I like it!” Midna says she’ll set up in the middle. Cia asks why Midna is in the middle, and Midna says it’s symmetry. She’s the tallest, Cia and Lana are about the same, it makes sense. Yeah, but it also means Midna is the center of attention. Well, that’s just coincidental. Lana says it doesn’t matter, the point is them doing it all in synch. Cia sighs and says, “Fine.” Midna is in the middle, Cia is on her right, and the music plays.

Left arm, right arm, left arm, right arm, pose to the right, pose to the left, 360 spin and neck whip, then double V. Midna nailed it, but Cia was lagging. Cia defends she was not, but Lana says it’s alright, they’ll just keep trying. They run through it a couple more times, they do tighten it up, and all three feel really good about how that went.

The Dark Forces are watching.

They aren’t impressed by the “little dance party.” Harlequin says the Faces of Evil are way better anyway. Especially with the classics like the Thriller dance and Macarena. Zant says, “The Macarena? Pfft, and people think I’m a dork…” Harlequin says, “Don’t you dare mock the Macarena!” Harlequin changes tabs on the computer and starts playing the song! After the introduction, he lifts his right arm up flat, then his left. Then he turns the right hand up, the left hand up, puts his right hand on his left shoulder, left hand on right shoulder, then moves right hand up behind his head, and then his left.

Now his arms crisscross, right hand on left hip and left hand on right hip, to then switch so right hand on right hip and left hand on left hip. And of course, he swivels his hips in one big circle to go with “HEY~ Macarena! AIGHT!” Zant rolls his eyes while Harlequin keeps going, jumping 90 degrees to his left. Ganon walks in, Ghirahim following behind, and he tells Harlequin to “turn that crap off.” Harlequin pouts but he does as told. Ganon seethes as he takes a seat in his big arm chair. “Needless to say… Wrestling is Life didn’t go how I’d hoped. What was Kage even doing there?! Did either of you have any idea he was going to betray us?!”

Zant and Ghirahim are a bit flustered. Zant isn’t even sure Kage was part of The Dark Forces at the time Ganon took ownership. He’d kinda gone rogue at some point, didn’t he? Ghirahim agrees, it didn’t seem like he was even aligned with Cia and the others. All the more reason for Kage to keep his nose out of Ganon’s business! If Kage cared about the Dark Forces, then he would’ve helped them fight back at HyruleMania, or any time since. Kage clearly just wants the title, same as Ganon, so he’s a dead man walking. Speaking of that… Where’s Kevin? He came back in April, why isn’t he here?

 

Somewhere dark and spooky…

Heavy footsteps can be heard echoing as Kevin Gibdo moves down the hallway. He speaks with a low, airy voice, “Majora… Your madness… spread like wildfire… You thought by setting me ablaze… I would crumble into ash… You were wrong! Instead, I have been purified…! Purged of flaws and weaknesses… I now come forth… as gold!” There’s a light at the end of the hall, and Kevin enters a grand hall, with treasure gleaming in the light. At the center is the sarcophagus. Kevin walks up to it, opens it, and then his burnt and tattered bandages fall away before he steps inside. The sarcophagus closes, then the eyes on it begin to glow… Then the entire thing glows!

The glowing becomes a shining light, and that shining becomes so bright that nothing can be seen. It is clear things between Kevin and Majora are not over. Will the Masked Monster even stand a chance once the Gibdo of All Gibdos is restored to full strength?

 

Back to the Dark Forces…

Shabonne says, “I’m sure Kevin is just fine doing whatever Gibdos do on their time off.” Tali says, “What matters is what I’m about to do to that tiny little weasel with the Goddess Championship. If The Dark Forces is gonna have all the gold, then I need to squash her like a bug and take that title off of whatever’s left!” Ganon nods and says he likes the initiative. Tali will start on her own Triple Crown as the Dark Forces will make Hyrule Pro-Wrestling their kingdom! The group cheers while raising a toast! And then Harlequin gets Glutko and Lupay to join in on the Macarena, to which Ganon groans and facepalms.

 

And so, the ThunderStruck card is set!

The double ring, double cage will rattle with Blood & Thunder as the HPW World Trios Championships are on the line! The Gerudo Ace looks to settle a grudge with the Hero’s Shadow! And now, the Million Rupee Championship and HPW Goddess Championships will also be on the line! Will the Dark Forces absolutely dominate the Summer? Be ready to endure the heat on Friday, June 20th!

About Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)

WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling) 

THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)

FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)

SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast 

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)

TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends

Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5

Classic POD is WAR


Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!

All Shows On Demand


Powered by RedCircle


Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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