The Undertaker Rumors Need To Rest In Peace

I never like being the bearer of bad news.

Some guys, like Bad News Barrett, get off on it. They love to tell people when they’ve made a huge mistake. They like crushing dreams & souls with reckless abandon. That’s not me. I believe that every human being has the right to pursue happiness, as long as it doesn’t infringe on the rights of others. I believe everyone should chase their dreams. If I can live out my childhood dream of being an Internet wrestling journalist read & listened to across the planet, everybody should have the chance to do whatever their heart desires.

I also believe that people should be able to do whatever defines them as a human being as long as possible. There comes a point in every person’s life where they’re no longer able to do that. Someday, I will either physically or mentally lose the ability to compose my wrestling thoughts. You, kind reader, will lose the ability to do whatever it is that you do so well. It’s part of the circle of life.

The ending process is never more visible to the general public than when an athlete reaches the point they can do no more. Their imperfections are on display for the world to see.

As a Cincinnati Reds fan, I was happy to see Bronson Arroyo get a spot on the 2017 squad for what was going to be his final season. Bronson had many quality years as a Red, and it gave me a warm fuzzy feeling to see him back on the team after he had been away for a couple of years & had overcome injuries. That warm fuzzy feeling went away after a start or two. Arroyo no longer had the ability to get hitters out on a consistent basis. There were a couple of starts where the Bronson Arroyo of old was on display, and fans lucky enough to be at the ballpark on those nights will always have those memories. But at forty years old, with a 7.35 ERA & career-worst statistics in most categories, Bronson Arroyo was at the end of the line.

He knew it. His arm knew it too. It was time to step aside and give the next generation of Reds pitchers an opportunity, and that’s exactly what Bronson Arroyo did.

Pro wrestling is full of similar stories to Arroyo’s. The difference: Most wrestlers don’t know when to step aside. They’re always looking for that final payday.

Another big difference is that wrestling promoters are always looking for big names to sell tickets. Guys that really shouldn’t be in a ring anymore can get bookings because people still remember them from being on TV. Most sports teams are attempting to be competitive & win games, so they can’t waste spots on guys that are only there because the casual fans remember them from ten years ago and might go see them play.

WWE’s biggest show of the year is booked around older guys that are there because casual fans remember them from ten years ago and might pay to see them wrestle. To be fair, it’s been working from a financial perspective. WrestleMania always does the biggest attendance, biggest Network business, biggest anything you can think of from a business perspective. For many years, a good portion of it had to do with one man.

The Undertaker.

The WrestleMania winning streak became a pretty big deal. Soon enough, it became the only reason that the Deadman was still around. He’d pop up during WrestleMania Season every year, and be gone for the most part otherwise. It was a decent way to extend his career. Matches with guys like Shawn Michaels, Triple H & CM Punk were good enough to justify their positioning on the cards. Columnists like this one would breathlessly speculate on who Undertaker would be wrestling at WrestleMania. That pretty much came to an end when Brock Lesnar ended the streak at WrestleMania 30. He’s still had matches the last three years, but the buzz wasn’t quite the same.

Last year’s match with Roman Reigns was Undertaker’s equivalent to some of those Bronson Arroyo starts. The Big Dog was trying, but Undertaker just didn’t have it. It was obvious to almost everybody watching that this was Undertaker’s last hurrah. He left his boots & gloves in the ring, and that was that.

End the rumors. The Undertaker is retired.

The only problem is that things are never that simple in wrestling. The words “never say never” are words to live by. The rumors won’t die until the wrestler dies. So of course, it’s no surprise that we’re hearing rumors about Undertaker taking on John Cena at WrestleMania 34.

Let’s hope they stay as rumors.

I’m sure a lot of people out there would love to see Undertaker vs. John Cena at a WrestleMania. I would have too. Any time from WrestleMania 27-30 would have been a nice time for it. The unstoppable juggernaut of John Cena vs. The Streak? Yup, that could have worked. Once the streak ended? Eh. Beating Undertaker doesn’t mean as much as it used to.

Did it make any difference for Roman Reigns? No. He went in as WWE’s top guy that some people like & some people don’t, and he left at the same level. Nothing changed after Undertaker lost his second WrestleMania match.

If I absolutely had to use Undertaker at WrestleMania, he’d be losing to Braun Strowman. Braun is the future monster of WWE & could use Undertaker’s scalp on his wall. John Cena isn’t anything to WWE’s future other than a WrestleMania draw. His status isn’t affected one way or another by an Undertaker match. Dude is hosting Kid’s Choice Awards and working on getting himself an acting career. More power to him. Having him do a one-off with Undertaker at WrestleMania does nothing for anybody.

On the bright side, we would get plenty of WRESTLEMANIA MOMENTS. Am I the only one tired of those?

I’m not here to tell Undertaker what to do with himself, but I do have some bad news for him. His days as a decent in-ring performer are over. His matches going forward would look a lot more like the Roman Reigns match at 33 than the Shawn Michaels matches at 25 & 26. He would be the equivalent of Bronson Arroyo in his final season with the Cincinnati Reds.

The fans shouldn’t be expecting much past the entrance. He could still probably do some awesome entrances. I’m just hoping that we’ve seen the final exit.