AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura: You Won’t Ever Be Happy, Will Ya?

On January 24, 2016, the unthinkable happened. Roman Reigns entered the Royal Rumble at number one, followed by Rusev at number two. Roman would dispatch of the Bulgarian Brute before his 90 seconds elapsed–and this was a Rusev who was about to get his only WrestleMania win. When the clock struck zero, many (including me) assumed another victim was headed to the ring. Instead it was AJ Styles.

At the time, the response was “yes, THAT AJ STYLES.” The cornerstone of TNA from the day they opened their doors, and the man who replaced Prince Devitt/Finn Balor as the leader of Bullet Club in New Japan and Ring of Honor. AJ debuted at number three in the 2016 WWE Royal Rumble, one of the most shocking moments in a year that included the return of Shane McMahon, the return of the brand split, Kevin Owens winning the Universal Championship, and the in-ring return of Goldberg.

AJ Styles would stay in that Royal Rumble for a hair under 29 minutes, would main event his second ever pay-per-view against Roman Reigns at Fastlane, and would make his WrestleMania debut against Chris Jericho in front of over 100,000 fans.

That’s AJ Styles’ only Royal Rumble to date, because he’s been WWE Champion for the other two. In fact, AJ Styles has been in WWE for 767 days as of March 1, 2018. He is a four-time champion (two WWE Championships and two United States Championships). As of this writing (March 1), he has held the WWE Championship for 253 of his 767 days in WWE.

That’s 33% of his time in WWE. For a third of AJ Styles’ time in WWE, he has been WWE Champion! He’s also spent 91 days as United States Champion, bringing his total time in WWE as a champion to 344 days. This represents 44.9% of this time in WWE.

AJ Styles is 40 days shy of spending half of his time in WWE so far as a champion. Yet people complain. I mean it sucks, right, because he’s “stuck” in a storyline with Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn, Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon. John Cena, one of the four biggest stars in company history, has wins over AJ Styles. So that has to be terrible, right?

Shinsuke Nakamura made his WWE debut in NXT on April 1, 2016, defeating Sami Zayn at Takeover: Dallas. He is a two time NXT Champion, won the 2018 Royal Rumble by eliminating John Cena and Roman Reigns, and has already challenged for the WWE Championship more than once, including at the second biggest show of the year in SummerSlam.

But that sucks, right, because it was against Jinder Mahal?

When AJ Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura pushed a ladder aside at the 2017 Money In The Bank pay-per-view, the internet orgasm was impossible to contain. The immediate thought was a desire to see these two men square off at wrestling’s grandest stage: WrestleMania.

AJ Styles would go on to defeat Jinder Mahal to regain the WWE Championship (as I predicted), and Shinsuke Nakamura would win the Royal Rumble and the right to challenge Styles in front of over 70,000 people at the Superdome in New Orleans.

I mean, that’s like three WrestleKingdoms!

But it sucks, right? I mean it isn’t really a “feud,” it’s just a match. Now it has to be a feud, because we want more. And here’s what you’re going to say after the match takes place: “It was good, but it wasn’t as good as it was in the Tokyo Dome.” Oh, and it didn’t go on last, so it sucked.

And if you think the WrestleMania 34 match between AJ Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura is going to disappoint, you’re right. Also, if you the WrestleMania 34 match between AJ Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura is going to be amazing, you’re right.

You control your own fandom, and as with most things in life, you are as happy as you decide to be.

And if you don’t like that statement, you’ve done it to yourselves.

And now you’re mad at me. Your fault, too.

The fact is, Shinsuke Nakamura and AJ Styles can never make everyone happy. The expectation level is too high. Shinsuke Nakamura came to WWE to take it easy. He’s making money by using four moves and putting hands over his crotch and yelling “C’MOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNN!” to his opponents. You blame WWE, because it can’t possibly be Shinsuke’s fault!

AJ Styles, on the other hand. Has worked his ass off for years, including his WWE run. He appears to be ageless, and has been a stable and consistent part of the roster since the day he showed up. Upon his debut, it already felt like he’d been thre for a while. 767 days in, it’s hard to imagine a WWE without AJ Styles.

Now I am hearing complaints that AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura should be the greatest feud of the year, but is being wasted. Mind you, we still have over five weeks until WrestleMania, and Fastlane is in 10 days. When that show is over, AJ Styles and Shinsuke Nakamura will still have four weeks to build their WrestleMania match.

The one in front of 70,000+ fans. In a giant stadium. With a giant stage. Under a billion lights. And Nakamura is probably going to win.

But that won’t matter, because you won’t like one spot, or one no-sell. It won’t be perfect because it can’t be perfect–you’ve already decided it wasn’t and we are still over 5 weeks away.

Whose fault is that? Not mine, and not WWE’s. It’s yours, because you are being given the match you want on the stage you want, and you’re not happy. Because you’ll never be happy, until you choose to be.

I realize that  many of you reading this are excited about the match, and will enjoy it. You will be happy, because wrestling is your happy place. I salute you, friend, because despite being a card carrying member of the Internet Wrestling Community (I mean, you were reading The Chairshot before it got big!), you still enjoy wrestling.

Welcome, friend. Let’s enjoy wrestling…together.