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Impact Coverage

Ja’ Von’s Impact Wrestling Live Report (5/24/18)

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Quick Results:

oVe vs Drago and Aerostar: oVe via DQ

The Cult of Lee vs LAX: The Cult of Lee via pinfall 

Matt(c) vs El Hijo Del Fantasma(X-Division Championship): STILL X-Division Champion Matt Sydal via pinfall 

Dezmond Xavier vs Petey Williams: Dezmond Xavier via pinfall 

Moose vs Kongo Kong: Moose via pinfall

Play by Play:

Impact opens with a recap video of what went down last week.

oVe w/Sami Callihan vs Drago and Aerostar:

oVe along with Sami Callihan make their way to the ring for their match. Both Drago and Aerostar make their way to the ring. Drago gets things started early by flying over the ropes taking out oVe and Sami.

Aerostar then hits La Bomita. Drago makes his way back in the ring but is met with a big boot from Jake Christ. The bell finally rings and Jake tags in Dave and he goes on the attack of Drago. He then tags back in Jake who puts Drago in a chinlock and wears him down then tags back in Dave. Dave puts Drago in his corner and goes on the attack. Drago finds himself on the outside and Sami gets a cheapshot in. Dave tags back in Jake but Aerostar finally gets back in the match for the save. Jake is able to tag back in Dave and they take it to both Drago and Aerostar. The luchadors eventually take control and get a nearfall on Dave Christ. During the match it is shown that Eddie and Alisha Edward’s have arrived at the Impact Zone. Alisha is pleading with Eddie to stop but Eddie comes out with a kendo stick and attacks the Christ Brothers causing the DQ. Eddie then turns his attention to Sami which leads to refs and security to hold him back from attacking Sami.

Eddie then snaps and attacks the refs and security guards with the kendo stick.

Winners: oVe via DQ

Alisha and Eddie are backstage and she wants to know why he is acting like this. Eddie says this is not over until he destroys Sami Callihan.

LAX vs The Cult of Lee:

Trevor Lee and Caleb Konley make their way to the ring for their match against LAX. LAX make their way to the ring still without Konnan. LAX has been on a losing streak since Konnan disappeared at the Redemption PPV.

Trevor Lee and Ortiz start the match. Lee jumps Santana on the apron and Caleb jumps Ortiz. Yhe match breaks down a bit with the cult of Lee getting the advantage on LAX. The match spills to the outside but this is where is LAX mount a comeback. Santana taking the fight to Trevor and Ortiz racking the back of Caleb. The match makes it’s way back into the ring and Trevor Lee gets a one count on Ortiz then tosses him into a corner and begins to stomp him as we go to break. We are back from break and Caleb is in control of Ortiz in the corner with the kicks and chops. Caleb jawjacks Santana which distracts the red and allows for Trevor to get a cheapshot on Ortiz. The Cult of Lee is firmly in control of this match and Caleb kicks Santana off the apron while Trevor punts the face of Ortiz who was recently thrown on the outside by Caleb. The ref is distracted by Santana but Caleb goes for a cover and gets a nearfall. Caleb then tags in Trevor but LAX seems to finally take control of this match. Trevor tags out but is still taken out by LAX and Santana hits a death valley driver on Caleb and get a nearfall as Trevor bulldozers in to break up the pin. In the closing moments of this match LAX takes out Trevor Lee and look for a wheelbarrow double team maneuver but Trevor trips up Ortiz and Caleb rolls up Santana for the win.

Winners: The Cult of Lee via pinfall 

McKenzie Mitchell interviews Jimmy Jacobs and Kongo Kong. Jimmy saysthat Impact is a funny place and says he is not a bad guy. He then speaks about Grado accusing them of the attacks so they had to teach him a lesson. He says he wants to see Kongo Kong break Moose into a million pieces for saving Grado from the post match attack. Jimmy says he’s a princess and always gets what he wants.

KM and Fallah Bahh are backstage and runs into Grado and Katerina. They want to know how he got a girl like her and she says that she is chubby chaser.

McKenzie Mitchell interviews Madison Rayne backstage about what happened last week. Rayne says she was happy to be back in Impact but she was suppose to be a commentator not an in ring competitor. Tessa interrupts the Madison’s interview and says that she is just a stay at home mom and needs to know her place and that the next time they meet will be in the ring.

McKenzie Mitchell interviewsthe new tag team champions and they DJZ said that they were underestimated but overcame the odds. The former champs interrupt the interview calling it a fluke and that they slipped on a banana peel. More tension is teased between Eli and Scott as they argue with each other and Scott blames Eli for them losing the titles. They storm off separately.

Matt Sydal(c) vs El Hijo Del Fantasma(X-Division Championship): 

Fantasma makes his way to the ring to attempt to dethrone the champion. Matt Sydal makes his way to the ring to defend his championship. They start the match with a handshakeand Sydal wanting Fantasma to open up his third eye but he is having none of it. Fantasma with the go behind gets the advantage of Matt but Sydal counters and shows off by sitting in the middle of the ring.

They jawjack watch other and Sydal is able to get a wristlock on Fantasma but Fantasma is able to escape then locks in a headlock on Sydal. Matt is able to escape and the match begins to pick up speed as Fantasma ends up on the apron. He then climbs up to the top and knocks down Sydal. He then hits a tilt a whril backbreaker on Sydal. Matt is able to gain control of the match and begins to wear down Fantasma. He then begins to focus on the left knee of Fantasma. Matt hits the ropes and comes off them and is caught by Fantasma who launches him in the air but lands on his feet and rocks Fantasma with a big kick. Fantasma is able to fight back and gain control of the match and drives Sydal out of the ring and looks to set up for the thrill of the hunt suicide dive but turns it into a baseball slide and stands tall as we go to break. Back from break Fantasma drops Matt Sydal face first on the steel steps. He then drives Sydal head first into the steel ringpost thenbrings him back in the ring. He heads to the top rope and goes for a high risk maneuver but comes up empty as Sydal rolls out ofthe way. Matt then goes to the topand looks for Air Bourne but misses and still lands on his feet. Fantasma fights back and is able to lock in a modified Indian death lock. Sydal is able to get to the bottom rope to break the hold. In the closing moments Matt is able to drive Fantasma into the mat justlike in all his other matches to pick up the win and retains his title.

Winner and STILL X-Division Champion: Matt Sydal via pinfall 

LAX is in the clubhouse mad and throwing stuff cause of their losing streak. Hernandez comes in and tells them that Konan was jumped but he is ok cause Homicide is with him. He also assures them that everything is ok.

A video package is shown about Pentagon Jr. winning the World Title. Aires is heared talking about the loss and hyping up the rematch for the world title next week at Under Pressure.

No one has been attacked this week and Don Callis has talked to the authorities and they have no leads on who the attackers are.

The winner of the Dezmond Xavier vs Petey Williams match will earn an opportunity to face Brain Cage next week. The winner of the match next week will face Matt Sydal for the X-Division Title.

Dezmond Xavier vs Petey Williams:

Dezemond makes his way to the ring for the match. Petey makes his way to the ring. They shake hands to show sportsmanship. Petey with the go behind but Dezmond hits him with a back elbow and they have a stand still for a bit.

They go back and fourth but Petey gets the advantage with a tilt a whirl headscissors. Dezmond then goes for a big kick but Petey moves out the way then looks for the Canadian Destroyer but Dezmond escapes and goes tothe outside for a breather. Dezmond gets back in the ring and the match picks up speed and Dezmondlands a dropkick for a nearfall. Petey is able to fight back and gains control of the match by hitting a dropkick of his own and is standing tall as we go to break. We’re back from break and Petey is in control of the match and is taking it to Dezmond laying inpunches Xavier. Petey locks in a side headlock and wears him down then knocks him down and goes for a cover and gets a nearfall. Peyey then get another nearfall on Dezmond. Petey puts Xavier in the corner and stands his time which is his downfall as Dezmond knocks him down then goeson the attack hitting adelyaed dropkick which sends Petey out of the ring then followedup by a tope con hilo. They bring it back in the ring and Petey isable to kickout of a pinattempt. In the closingmoments of the match Dezmond countersthe Canadian Destroyer and hits him with a handstand kick to theside of the head for the win.

Winner: Dezmond Xavier via pinfall 

A video package is played showing Allie reading the note she received weeks ago and looking at the voodoo doll. The video also keeps kicking back to the funeral of Rosemary. The end of the video shows Allie dressed as Rosemary. The Knockouts Championship between her and Su Yung is now a Last Rites Match.

Moose vs Kongo Kong:

Moose makes his way to the ring for the match.

Kongo Kong makes his way to the ring ALONE. While making his entrance he keeps looking back at the ramp to see if Jimmy will show as we go to break. Back from break the bell rings and we have a collar and elbow tie with Kong getting the better of it by shoving Moose back. They go again and Kong pushes Moose back again. Kong then goes on the attack and takes down Moose. Moose with kip up hits Kong with a dropkick then knocks Kong the outside but Kong lands on his feet. Moose then runs at Kong but he side steps and shoves him into thering steps. Kong then hits a cannonball on Moose. Jimmy is not outside to guide Kong so he goes backin the ring looking for a countout. Moose barely getsback in the ring tobreak the count. Kong stays on the attack by tossing Moose into the corner then hitting a running splash on him. Kong then wears him down with a shoulder grip but Moose fights back. Moose looks to take down Kong but Kong counters and takes down Moose for a two count. Kong stays on the attack on Moose by wearing him down and hitting big shots. Moose asks for more then hits a headbutt followed by a running dropkick in the corner. Kong fights back and gains control of the match by hitting a neckbreaker across the knee for a nearfall. Kong goes for the top rope splash but comes up empty. In the closing moments of the match Moose hits a powerslam on Kong then a big spear for the win.

Winner: Moose via pinfall 

After the match Jimmy Jacobs is shown to have been attacked.

My Take: The show was great and hyped up Under Pressure that is next week. Four profile matches were hyped and other storylines as progressed tonight. Overall tonight was a great show.

My Score: 8/10

 

 

 

 

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Coverage

Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 3.27.2025

Bad news out of the TNA management side, but this is a taped episode from El Paso! So we won’t see any of the fallout just yet!

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Now we all heard the news about the TNA change in hierarchy, and I…have no positive outlook on that. Delirious sucked at booking and creative in the dying days of ROH before it got bought as a B show. Dreamer having even more control is concerning because his ideas the last two years haven’t been much better.

Gail leaving makes more sense to me. Be it firing or a “you can’t quit, you’re fired” kind of situation, the Knockouts division is the worst it’s been in a long time and Gail was close with Scott D’Amore. So I don’t think Gail parting ways is as big of a problem since TNA has slowly been bleeding out with the Scott faithful.

Granted, I think the next few shows were already taped before the firing so things shouldn’t be completely unwatchable for at least a week or two. So let’s see where we’re going.

Ratings:

  • Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley vs Elegance Clique w/Personal Concierge: Ash wins via Rarefied Air – ** 1/4
  • Fir$t Cla$$ & Frankie Kazarian vs Laredo Kid, Octagon Jr & Chavo Guerrero Jr: Chavo wins via Gory Bomb into Frog Splash – *** 1/4
  • Jacy Jayne vs Masha Slamovich: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – ***
  • Eric Young w/two losers vs Ace Austin: Eric wins via Piledriver – ** 1/2
  • Seto & Mokuba – I mean – Nic Nemeth w/Ryan Nemeth vs Leon Slater: Nic wins via Danger Zone – *** 1/4

 

Results:

Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley vs Elegance Clique w/Personal Concierge

Ash and Gigi start off, Gigi with a little Rascalz after her first takedown. So both her and Wentz are making it obvious something’s going on between them, and I’m not mad at it. Good for my man Wentz.

Tatum and Gigi get some quick tandem offense in, Ash does manage to scurry off to a tag and Heather gets bent into a Pretzel. Some kind of Inverted Tarantula from Tatum, Gigi tags in, Bronco Buster on Heather followed by Kawada Kicks. Heather sells against the ropes, Gigi goes for a Hesitation Dropkick, but Concierge pulls her away so Gigi crashes and burns. Ref is distracted, Ash gets in some cheap shots and then the Elegant duo starts working over Gigi. A few quick tags, but once Heather comes in, Gigi fights out of the corner, gets the hot tag to Tatum. Tatum stacks up both Elegance members, Corner Stacked Crossbody, Butterfly Suplex and an Elbow Drop with some some flare. Tatum goes to the top rope, Heather pulls Gigi off the apron, Concierge shoves Tatum off the turnbuckle and Ash hits Rarefied Air for the win.

Post match the Elegance Clique wants to make their wish with the cake, they light the candles and Tatum and Gigi recover enough to do what we all expected last week, the cake in the face spot. Some…suggestive licking from both of our Hot Topic Hotties, so…no complaints here. 

Fir$t Cla$$ & Frankie Kazarian vs Laredo Kid, Octagon Jr & Chavo Guerrero Jr

Chavo and Kaz start since he’s King Petty, a quick rope run turns into a Headscissor from Chavo. Kaz recovers, they lock up, Kaz hits the Knee Lift during the lock up to tag out to KC. KC pulls off some athletic dodges, gloats a bit so Chavo waits, measures and nails a gorgeous Dropkick. Laredo comes in on fire, quick high spots that send KC bouncing around like HBK against Hulk. KC powders after sells the Satellite Takedown, AJ checks on him and we go to commercial.

Back from commercial, Octagon is lighting up KC’s chest with overhand chops, he perches, Sunset Headscissor Flip from corner to corner, KC tries to Back Drop him but Octagon does a headstand, kicks KC away and lays him out with a high spot. AJ gets on the apron to stop Octagon from running the ropes, the referee has a stroke or something because he stops paying attention and AJ pulls Octagon out of the ring and chucks him. KC with the Tope con Hilo and tag (tag ropes haven’t mattered since the 80s we all know this). So AJ is getting taunted by the crowd in Spanish, but he’s manhandling Octagon since it looks like a Child fighting their parent. AJ knocks off Chavo and Laredo, Laredo pops up and tries to get involved but he’s caught on the shoulders, Octagon goes for the Crossbody but gets caught and AJ pulls off “World’s Strongest Wasteland” but Chavo breaks up the pinfall. AJ throws Octagon into the corner, Tennessee Whiskey, and tag out to KC. KC hits a few moves, but starts to lose the momentum until he connects with a Super Kick. Simultaneous rope run into the Dueling Crossbodies, so we get the timely tag outs from both sides. Kaz and Laredo come in, Laredo lands like two moves before Kaz hits a Sole Butt, Lariat and eats his lunch. KC and Kaz try to double team Laredo but he fights out and the crowd is chanting for Chavo.

Chavo tags in, and he’s rocking KC, Saito Suplex, Low Bridge to AJ, Reverse the Whip so Chavo goes to the corner and perches, KC feeds, Chavo Backflips to safety, rolls through and lays out KC. Chavo is feeling himself, 3 Amigos start on KC but only 2, Kaz comes in and Chavo switches to Kaz for the Amigos, only 2 again before AJ breaks it up. AJ goes for the disrespect, but Chavo counters and hits the 3 Amigos on the biggest Culero. Aztec Warriors dive to stop AJ and Kaz, KC tries a Dirty Victory Roll but Chavo kicks out. GORY BOMB into FROG SPLASH!

Chavo looked fantastic and he’s the one in the best shape in the ring. I wouldn’t be mad at more Chavito. 

Jacy Jayne vs Masha Slamovich

I expect very little from this match.

Collar and Elbow, gator rolling for the first 30 seconds or so, then Jacy goes to some Hair Pull takedowns and does a little taunt before Masha pops back up and hits a Lariat into a Dive. Jacy sells it like she’s really hurt, even the ref tries to hold Masha back a little before Masha gets annoyed and just grabs her, Masha throws her in, looks for a Dive and Jacy sees it and powders. Masha tries to go back to the well for the Dive again but Jacy hits the Uppercut and then an Apron Run PK to drop Masha. Forearms rain down into a Foot Choke as Jacy continues to arrogantly play to the crowd. Another Foot Choke into a Cannonball, and near fall.

Masha gets space with a Sole Butt, tries to snap off Requiem but Jacy fights off, fights through a Sunset Flip another effective PK keeps Masha on her ass. Jacy looks for a kinda half-assed Camel Clutch as Masha is fighting up, but Jacy runs her into the corner, gets distracted mouthing off to the crowd, so Masha recovers, 5 Hole Up Kick sends Jacy into the corner, Yakuza Kick into Capo Kick for two. Requiem attempt again, but Jacy pushes off, a little back and forth, Masha tries a Backslide but Jacy gets away and hits a V-Trigger but only a 2 count. Jacy looks for the Discus Punch but Masha ducks it, they strike back and forth, but some dodges from both leave the exchange more even. Jacy with the Front Kick to the face sends Masha to the outside. Jacy wants another PK, but Masha blocks, Electric Chair Apron Snake Eyes. Masha throws her in, a PK into a near all. Requiem attempt 3, and thwarted from Jacy with a Superkick into a Neckbreaker. Senton misses from Jacy, Buzzsaw Kick, into Spinning Back Kick and Russian Death Device for the win.

Better than I expected, and Tessa attacks as soon as the bell rings. Xia Brookside and Lei Ying Li make the save after Tessa grabs the belt. 

Eric Young w/two losers vs Ace Austin

Ace and Eric tie up, World of Sport start but as soon as Ace starts to get away EY punches him in the face. Eric looks at the camera and says “This is what trust looks like”, turns his back on Ace, when Ace looks to attack, the loser duo cut him off. EY takes advantage of the weird situation, but Ace with some Up and Over quick spots, into an Inside Cradle and La Magistral. EY kicks out of the quick flash attempts, but eats a Dropkick, and Ace goes all Speed Kils on him with fast strikes and then a face buster for another near fall. Strike spot very early in the match, Ace gets the best of it, goes for a Tear Drop Suplex but EY sits on it to block, Headlocks to keep him close and then a snap Lariat into beatdown bully tactics. EY takes the referee’s attention and one of the nerds punch Ace in the face.

Eric tries to lean on Ace, but Ace fires, a few strikes, Click Click Boom, the Miz Seated Lariats in the corner, Mochizuki Triangle Kick connects! Only a 2 count, but Ace seems to be in control. Ace puts EY on the ropes, a few strikes to keep him rocked, wants a Superplex, but EY blocks, bites the face and Macho Elbow gets a very close two count. EY tries the Piledriver but Ace turns it into a Jacknife Cradle,Spinning Heel Kick, calls for The Fold, but the losers hop on the apron to distract, Ace attacks them. Ace tries to time out the Triangle Kick again, but Eric dodges, throws Ace head first through the buckles. As Ace stumbles out of the corner, Piledriver, and it’s over.

Oh look it’s the “we’ll hear from Joe Hendry” segment. Again, I’ve loved this gimmick since Day 1, even didn’t hate his What Culture Pro stuff, but there is such a thing as milking a cow too much. 

Elijah interrupts the whole “Who’s next” speech. When Elijah comes out he says he’s not the challenger and he believes in Joe. The crowd wants Elijah to turn on Hendry. Elijah pauses for a moment, and starts proving his friendship with stating his favorite color and a little “You Got a Friend in Me”. The crowd is into singing along and waving their cameras like Lighters to a 30 year old song. THANKFULLY Kaz breaks up the hug fest. Now he gets the “Culero” chant. 

Kaz pulls out a Bass…what the hell is this Jam Session. Kaz has to warm up so he plays “La Cucaracha” on the bass. Kaz…is a national treasure. Hendry kicks Kaz out of the ring after his Heelish and playfully racially charged song choices. Kaz tries to sow dissension, but Joe and Elijah pinball Kaz between them. Kaz slips a power move and tries to shove Elijah into Joe but Elijah puts the brakes on, a small tense moment. But then Joe and Elijah play “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey, Goodbye”…and that goes right into a commercial. Oddly…perfect.

Nic Nemeth w/Ryan Nemeth vs Leon Slater

Nic shoots the half immediately for a flash pinfall but Leon kicks out at one. Nic continues to keep things grounded with his amateur wrestling skills, and then does a little Dolph Ziggler show off. So Nic isn’t really taking this seriously, and Leon starts getting the best of things with an Arm Wringer, into drag, Shoulder Tackle and rope run as Nic tries to Leap Frog and Leon puts on the brakes and just shoves Nic on his ass. Nic gets annoyed, a few strikes, grinds his face along the ropes, but Leon keeps stringing some offense together, Back Handspring Elbow into his Corner con Hilo.

Ahh the classic formula of the commercial gives the heel the advantage, Twisting Suplex from Leon stops Nic’s offense momentum, right hand, Leon lifts Nic up for something, Nic slips it, kicks him in the gut, looks for the FameAsser, but Leon catches him into a Blue Thunder Bomb variation. Slater wants the Swanton 450, but Nic powders. Leon tries to adjust into a Dive, but Nic cuts him off, counter for counter and a FameAsser out of the counters for a two count. Nic starts the big brother tactics, bootwashes and arrogance, Slater fires, punches into a Yakuza Kick. Leon wants another Lethal Injection variant, but Nic catches him into a Rear Naked Choke. Slater tries to turn it into a pin so Nic breaks it. Leon wants a Leg Lariat but misses and gets unceremoniously dropped by Nic. Nic puts Leon up on the buckles, Superplex possibly but Slater counters, tries to collect himself for a move, but Nic falls into the ropes to crotch Leon, and finally hits the Superplex.

Twist of Slate from Leon, Swanton 450 but knees get up. Locomotion Cradles from both but they kick out, Ryan picks the ankle to trip up Leon just a touch and then Danger Zone ends the match.

Ryan starts the post match beatdown, but the Hardy’s music hits and they come down to the ring for the save. Matt challenges the Nemeths for Rebellion because they’re not medically cleared yet.

 

Overall Score: 6.5/10

Decent story motion, no match was offensive, and there was actually some solid match action for television standards. I don’t have a ton to complain about aside from the Knockouts Division is in a weird spot, and giving Hendry a lot of just talking and hollow payoff segments feels stupid. If we need to hear from him every week, give him a talk segment like Highlight Reel or something. Yes I know First Class just got The Penthouse, but if Hendry is going to talk more than wrestle, give him a talk segment for us to sink our teeth into.

There was the announcement that Xia, Lei Ying and Masha will face Tessa, Jacy and a mystery partner. So you gotta wonder if there’s going to be another NXT mercenary, a surprise return or if it’ll just be Rosemary since she’s got her issues with Xia. Also I just realized that Unbreakable is going to be on a Thursday, seemingly after iMPACT? I’m gonna have to see how they do it, because if there’s an Impact episode and 2-3 hour PLE…I do not want to be awake until 1am. People need to work, and I will be Unwakeable if things go that long.

About Chairshot Radio Network

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CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)

TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends

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Coverage

Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 3.20.2025

Coming off a Sacrifice with a few moving pieces and mixed reception we get to see how iMPACT follows it up!

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We’re coming off Sacrifice with a couple really good matches (Tessa vs Lei & Mustafa vs Santana), some solid story implications with Nic Nemeth’s heel turn, Elegance Clique winning the Knockouts tags and having Meta-Four members show up to make a claim, and Mustafa adding really great heat at the end of his match with beer spot.

So while not everything was great wrestling, things were pretty logical. Now let’s see what we get moving forward.

Ratings:

  • Northern Armoury w/Eric Young vs The Rascalz: Rascalz win via Feed Em to the Lions – ** 1/4
  • Mustafa Ali vs Mike Santana: Santana wins via Count Out – ***
  • Rosemary & Savannah Evans vs Xia Brookside & Lei Ying Lee: Lei wins via Thunderstruck – **
  • The System w/Lish vs Guitar Guys (Elijah & Joe Hendry): Hendry wins via Standing Ovation – ** 3/4

 

Results:

Oh God, Masha comes out to talk. She has literally zero aura speaking English. Yes she needs to cut promos to get better, but hot damn is she a charisma vacuum. Thankfully Tessa cuts her off and gets a resoundingly negative crowd reaction but she looks like a complete snack in the casual black and glitter covered outfit. Tessa makes her claim, but it’s just a distraction and Jacy Jayne blindsides Masha. I do like this concept of using Tessa’s legit heat to steer into her being a heel gateway for NXT female wrestlers to attack. 

Santino comes out, scolds Jacy a little and says next week is Masha vs Jacy. He then runs down Tessa and bans her from ringside next week during their match. 

Northern Armoury w/Eric Young vs The Rascalz

We know I don’t find the Armoury jabronis interesting, so I refuse to learn their names as they’ll never amount to anything. 

Wentz and Trey get early tandem offense against Jabroni with hair, a few quick tags, PK kicks, Dropkicks, the loser children need to take short cuts and distract the referee poorly just to get an advantage. Very basic tandem offense from Jabronis with Arm Wringers into stomps and a near fall that means nothing. Bald dork has Wentz in a Rear Naked, but Wentz breaks out of it and pulls off the Back Handspring Knee Lift so he finally tags out, Trey comes in hot, Missile Dropkick kills bald, hair gets knocked off the apron, Rascalz go for a tandem spot but more cornball heel distraction tactics, it back fires on the loser squad, Rascalz with some locomotion corner offense. Mayu Launcher into a Spinebuster from Trey, Feed Em to the Lions and the Rascalz win with ease.

Post-Match, Armoury and EY surround Rascalz, but Ace runs down with a chair to make the save. 

Fir$t Cla$$ Penthouse, KC and AJ playing with the crowd who hates them. AJ calls the crowd “muy pobre”and Chavo walks out to a huge pop, then Frankie Kazarian even pops out. Oh Frankie is still bitter about 2012 when him and Daniels lost the tag titles to Chavo and Hernandez. Turns into a Trios Match next week, Chavo, Octagon & Laredo vs Kaz & First Class. 

Mustafa Ali vs Mike Santana

Santana charges immediately, Ali slides out but Santana dives after him and connects! The bell hasn’t even rung yet and Santana is sending Ali spilling over tables and equipment. Santana keeps beating his ass, asks the crowd “Should I kill this puto?” gets a big pop, Ali tries to slip the Brainbuster but Santana stays one step ahead. Santana thinks he’s the Rock and tells Ali his soul belongs to him, and Ali tries to run away into the ring, Santana catches him, the bell finally rings, and Ali manages a Frankensteiner for space, Santana powders and Ali connects with a Dropkick on the bad arm. Ali continues his first bits of offense just wrapping the bad arm against the ring post, throws Santana back in, Outside In Rolling Neckbreaker and then a Key Lock on the bad arm. Ali is slowly things down masterfully since he did eat a fast beating for the first few minutes.

The crowd fires Santana, he manages to Arm Drag out, connects with a Round Kick, looks for the Rolling Neckbreaker again but Santana catches him on his shoulders, Spicolli Driver. A few move counters from both, Ali tries a Victory Roll but Santana holds on and turns it into the Rolling Buck Fifty for a two count! Santana goes to the top rope for the Frog Splash, Ali powders, walks to commentary says he already won and he’s the addiction that Santana will never beat, and walks out into the crowd and allows himself to be counted out.

Clever wrinkle to set up a rubber match.

RYAN NEMETH TIME! OUR LITTLE BROTHER! Nic lost his voice or smoked a pack of Marlboro Reds before the show. A pretty stock standard heel promo claiming that the Nemeths were the reason for the TNA buzz a year ago and the Hardys show up late to take all the credit. Leon Slater also has zero aura and no speaking ability, but referring to Ryan as Nic’s “Bug Eyed Brother” was a little funny. Nic versus Leon is hinted at for next week but a brawl starts anyway and Nic Superkicks Leon after Leon takes out Ryan. 

Rosemary & Savannah Evans vs Xia Brookside & Lei Ying Lee

Xia calls out Savannah to start the match, a few overhand chops gives her some steam early, but she tries to charge, eats a Back Elbow, Savannah tags in Rosemary, and Rosemary barks at her to get some aggression out. Headscissors, into Broken Wings into a Snap DDT for two. Xia tags in Lei, Rosemary decides to tag out immediately, so Lei is trying to chip down the tree, but she catches a Round Kick and lands a Sitout Chokebomb for a near fall. Savannah puts her on the shoulders, Lei fights it off, but gets caught in the Samoan Drop anyway for another near fall. Savannah tags out in the heel corner but chokes Lei a little to get the referee’s attention so Rosemary puts her in the Upside Down, and then continues to isolate Lei. Splash in the corner into an Exploder Suplex for yet another two. A few Vader Hammers into a Sleeper Hold from Rosemary. The crowd tries to ramp up Lei, but Rosemary cuts off the comeback attempt, looks for a Heel Hook, but Lei kicks her off, gets stopped but eats an Enzuigiri.

Simultaneous tag and Xia is taking it to Savannah. Xia and Lei have some nice Tandem strikes, only two. Savannah grabs Xia, Rosemary tries to mist Xia, but Xia ducks and the mist hits Savannah. Lei knocks out Rosemary, attempts the TKO on Savannah but doesn’t get all of it, and apparently the Thunderstruck has been changed to a Spinning Heel Kick…and I hate it. Okay match with a bad finish.

ASH and Heather come out for their celebration with cake, nice dresses and bootleg Chippendales. But Meta-Four interrupts, thankfully. Jakara Snackson in the house! Spitfire also comes out, and I’m never mad at Dani. OH, Gigi Dolin and Tatum Paxley also. Business picked up…or something went up…yeah…this is good entertainment. And there was something for everyone with the Chippendales early and then 4 women’s teams. 

The System w/Lish vs Guitar Guys (Elijah & Joe Hendry)

Well at least they didn’t bring up Hendry 32 times during the show and still end on him. I’ve loved the gimmick since Day 1, but overdoing it is bad for anyone.

Myers and Hendry start, Myers tries to mouth off but Hendry pops him with a Slap, Scoop Slam, Arm Wringer, tags out to Elijah and Myers scatters to tag out. Elijah with a few Lariats and the Rope Walk with Elijah. Hendry and Elijah clear the ring as we go to commercial. When we get back I’m gonna guess the System will have magically won back the momentum through heel commercial tactics.

Holy wow! Hendry has Eddie in the Stalling Suplex and lands it! Somehow the heels weren’t winning, but Eddie does kick out at one. So Hendry tags out, Elijah a few Arm Wringers into a Double Duck Jumping Lariat. But now Lish mouths off and Eddie connects on a Sliding Dropkick. So they delayed the heel team taking over for right out of the break. Look at that, changing it up. Eddie throws Elijah into the steps, rolls him in, tags out and Myers goes for the Sleeper Hold slow down heel thing, then hits a Dropkick into choking him with his boot. Eddie tags in, choke on the ropes, Lish gets involved in the choke too, and System is staying in control. Quick tags galore have Elijah gasping for air and Hendry is getting frustrated.

Elijah finally manages something to tag out, Hendry hits the Sack of Shit Kip Up on Eddie, Myers tries a Crossbody but he’s caught into Sack of Shit and Kip Up, the turn around and now calling for the Standing Ovation. But Eddie takes out Elijah, Rolling Forearm from Eddie into a Spear from Myers for a near fall. Myers looks for Roster Cut, but Elijah picks the ankle, Hendry fights off Myers, but Eddie catches him. They want System Overload, but Hendry gets out of the Backpack Stunner, catches Myers with the goozle and Elijah keeps Eddie out of the picture. Standing Ovation and we’re done!

 

Overall Score: 5.5/10

Full transparency, this was an easy watch. It didn’t feel like two hours, but it also didn’t really accomplish much. A very empty calories show with a bunch of set up for next week. I will say I totally loved the Ali and Santana match and finish. Ali forcing an unsatisfying finish can’t have Santana feeling good about the “win”, and I love how he’s saying he’s the one addiction that Santana can’t beat. So if Ali gets re-routed to a different feud or two and Santana starts acting like an addict going through withdrawal and NEEDS a rubber match at Slammiversary, I think that would be great to acknowledge Ali’s intelligence, plays in the addiction thing without being overly insulting since it’s focusing on a metaphorical addiction and not making light of something more realistic.

So regardless, a very inoffensive show. Jacy Jayne, Meta-Four and Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley showing up makes the Knockouts Tag feel less pathetic. And of course, Chavo was fine, the Dom mention was hilarious and Kaz being so petty he still hates Chavo because of 2012 is a level of petty I wish I still had in me.

Tolerable show, but nothing really worth the two hours.

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