Hello my dears and welcome to the place where we put the Monday into Monday Night Raw as we cover Monday Night Raw episode by episode. This week it’s time for

Raw #9 (March 15 1993)

Due to a blizzard, we are not in the Manhattan Centre this week. Instead we are in the Mid-Hudson Civic Centre in Poughkeepsie, New York. I love the word “Poughkeepsie“. Our commentary tonight is Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan and something called “not Vince McMahon” (it’s Rob Bartlet pretending to be Vince, not even a blizzard can get rid of him).

. Razor Ramon vs Ross Greenberg

We kick things of with Enhancement Time! It’s our old friend Greenberg too. Razor literally kicks things off with a boot to Greenberg’s gut followd by a Right Hand. Razor pushes Greenberg into the corner where he unloads on him with a series of Chops before throwing Greenberg out of the corner and into the air where he crashes down on the canvas. Razor sends Greenberg off the ropes and he ducks a Clothesline before throwing himself at Razor with a Cross Body. Razor simply catches Greenberg and hits a Fallaway Slam. Razor stomps on Greenberg’s face before awkwardly applying an Abdominal Stretch that Razor releases when he gets bored. Razor then applies an STF which again he releases, this time it’s because he was busy slapping Greenberg repeatedly in the head. Razor hits Greenberg with a sort of Chokeslam/Rock Bottom hybrid that I’m calling a Choke Bottom before stomping on Greenberg’s gut. Razor hoists Greenberg to the top turnbuckle where he brings him back down with a Side Superplex. Razor hits Greenberg with the Razor’s Edge and this is over. Pity, I was rooting for Greenberg to get an upset here.

Winner: Razor Ramon

. Typhoon vs LA Gore

It’s Enhancement Time again! Hang on, wasn’t this supposed to be Typhoon vs Bam Bam Bigelow? Is the guy whose main gimmick is flames get caught in the blizzard? Ha! LA Gore sounds like 2018 star of WWE, Rhyno moved to California.

Tphoon uses his strength to push out of a Collar and Elbow sending Gore across the ring. Twice. Gore turns a third Collar and Elbow into a Headlock but Typhoon quickly gets out of it by sending Gore off the ropes and knocking Gore down with a Shoulder Block. Another Collar and Elbow ends in an Eyerake by Gore who hits Typhoon with punches that stagger Typhoon into the corner where Gore Shoulder Thrusts him in the gut. Gore tries an Irish Whip but it is reversed by Typhoon who follows Gore into the corner Avalanching him. Typhoon then Hip Tosses Gore out of the corner. Typhoon sends Gore off the ropes and knocks him down with a Back Elbow. Typhoon Suplexes Gore before picking him up sending him off the ropes and hitting a Powerslam that comes millimetres from giving Gore a serious neck injury. Typhoon steps over Gore’s chest before throwing him into the corner and…. thrusting into him. Typhoon hits an Irish Whip and again follows with an Avalanche before hitting the match winning Big Splash.

Winner: Typhoon

IcoPro ad.

Action Figures ad.

Bobby Heenan is in the ring with Harvey Whippleman and Giant Gonzales. Harvey says people thougt he was joking when he said he had a big surprise for WWE. He says that opponents are running scared from Gonzales so he’s not been able to prove how good Gonzales is. Heenan says that Undertaker released a statement saying that he [Undertaker] is bringing the world’s largest coffin to Wrestlemania. Harvey says he’ll need it because Gonzales is going to put Undertaker AND Paul Bearer in it. Gonzales (whose voice sounds a lot like The Big Show) says at Wrestlemania he has a GIANT surprise for Undertaker.

We get an ad for Wrestlemania hyping the return of Hulk Hogan as he teams with Brutus Beefcake to face Ted DiBiase and IRS for the Tag Team Titles. The ad briefly mentions Bret and Yoko.

. Bob Backlund vs Papa Shango

Shango attempts a Collar and Elbow but Backlund avoids it, twice. Shango charges at Backlund who clips the back of Shango’s knee sending him flying. Shango easily wins a Test Of Strength. Backlund manages to roll his way out of the Test Of Strength and apply an Arm Wringer but Shango grabs a handfull of hair and uses it to throw Backlund to the mat. Backlund drops Shango with a Drop Toe Hold before jamming his elbow into the bridge of Shango’s nose. Backlund tries a Wristlock but Shango sends him of the ropes and catches Backlund with a Backbreaker (or is that Backlund Breaker?) In the corner, Shango drives his fingers into Backlund’s face in an attempt to gouge out his eyes before choking him with his foot. Backlund rolls to the outside and Shango follows. He grabs Backlund and Shoulder Tackles Backlund’s back into the ring apron. Shango shoves Backlund back into the ring and Headbutts Backlund in the abdominal region. Shango applies a Chinlock that Backlund breaks with an Armdrag. Shango hits Backlund with a Backbreaker and an Elbow Drop. Shango goes back to the Chinlock. Backlund fights out of it with Elbows to the gut but his momentum is cut short by an knee to his gut. A Bodyslam gets Shango a two count. Shango attempts a second Bodyslam but Backlund rolls him up in a Small Package for the three count

Winner: Bob Backlund

We get Mean Gene and a Wrestlemania report. He tells us that it has just been announced that Wrestlemania will be the world’s largest toga party with everyone from commentary, to the cameramen to the fans in the arena and at home all wearing togas. He hypes the matches for Wrestlemania including: Bret Hart vs Yokozuna, Hulk Hogan & Brutus Beefcake vs Ted DiBiase & IRS, The Undertaker vs Giant Gonzales, Lex Luger vs Mr Perfect and more. For added giggles, Mean Gene accidentally calls Rob Bartlet “Bob Barker“.

We get the new ad for Mania.

. Brian Knobbs & Jerry Saggs vs Samu & Fatu

Samu and Knobbs start. Samu attacks Knobbs with clubbing Rights before an Irish Whip into the corner and a follow up Avalanche Clothesline. Samu Irish Whips Knobbs a second time but this time Knobbs comes firing out of the corner with a Clothesline. Knobbs hits a second Clothesline before tagging Saggs. Together they Back Drop Samu. As the referee clears Knobbs from the ring, Fatu attacks Saggs and they attempt to Back Drop Saggs only for him to Clothesline both men. Saggs gets a two after he covers Fatu. As the referee tries to get legal man, Samu out of the ring, Knobbs makes a legal tag behind the referee’s back and hits Fatu with a Single Arm DDT. Knobbs applies an Arm Wringer and tags Saggs (yes I know it rhymes and if anything I’ll use it more) and continues to hold the Arm Wringer before turning it into a Hammerlock (I’ll be honest, I never knew Knobbs or Saggs knew what a Hammerlock was). Fatu breaks it with a Right Hand followed by a Headbutt. Fatu whips Saggs off the ropes but he counters a Hip Toss by Fatu into one of his own. Saggs wrenches on Fatu’s arm before he tags in Knobbs who drops an Elbow onto Fatu’s shoulder. Knobbs twists Fatu’s arm with an Arm Wringer, punches Fatu’s shoulder a few times and tags Saggs who bites Fatu’s shoulder before going back to the Arm Wringer. Fatu manages to break it by sending Saggs off the ropes and catching him with a Superkick.

Back from the ads and Samu & Fatu drop Saggs with Chops to the chest. Fatu grabs Saggs and applies a Chinlock (really? Samoan savages know a Chinlock? Really?) Sorry, my bad, it’s an Eye Gouge set up to look like a Chinlock in order to fool the referee and online reviewers. Fatu follows this with a choke. Fatu then tosses Saggs out of the ring and discusses with the referee the difference between a choke and a chinlock (I presume anyway, they talk about something) As they converse, Samu Bodyslams Saggs onto the ringside mats. As Knobbs protests about Samu’s interference, Samu Headbutts Saggs before rolling him back into the ring. Fatu tags Samu in and they both Headbutt Saggs before Samu hits Saggs with a World’s Strongest Slam. Samu climbs to the top turnbuckle and drops a Headbutt on Saggs. Only thing is, Saggs moved out ofthe way and all that Samu hits is canvas. Both men tag their partners and Knobbs enters like a house on fire hitting Fatu with Right Hands and a Back Drop before Clotheslining Samu. Knobbs grabs both men and hits a Double Noggin Knocker but they are Samoan and it has no effect (racist) so they headbutt Knobbs. They send a dazed Knobbs off the ropes and try another Back Drop. Instead, Knobbs manages to DDT both men (which apparently does have an effect on hard Samoan skulls). Fatu rolls to the outside and Knobbs follows. Saggs throws Samu to the outside and he follows. They brawl to a conveniently placed catering table and are all counted out. They have a bit of a food fight.

Winners: Double Count Out.

We get a video narrated by Sean Mooney covering all the good causes and charity work that WWE do. Gorilla Monsoon tells us we’ll be back at the Manhattan Centre next week and Money Inc (enhancement probably), Kamala vs Doink, Tatanka vs Repo Man and the Bushwackers (probably enhancement too) will all be on the show. We go to black.

Post Show: This felt a slightly better show even if it was just the same formula of star v enhancement matche with one star vs star match as other weeks. Maybe hearing Monsoon and Heenan was just the rest the show needed. Rob Bartlet is normally a pain on the ears, but he’s attempting a Vince McMahon impression here and it is nonsensical gibberish to the point that even Monsoon tells him to shut up.

Match Of The Night: Bob Backlund vs Papa Shango. It could have been the tag match but the finish let it down.

MVP: Gorilla Monsoon. I have no idea how he put up with Bartlet for the whole show.

Rating: 5/10

With that I am done. I can be found on Twitter @Callaweasy2220 where I live tweet Raw, Smackdown, NXT and (when there is one on) Pay Per View. Also feel free to tweet me if you think this review was a steaming pile of horse manure or if you just want to talk wrestling.

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I’ll be back next week with the next thrilling installment of Raw so until then #UseYourHead and ALWAYS have an Angle!