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Chris’ IMPACT! Wrestling Results & Report (9/20/18) | The Chairshot
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Impact Coverage

Chris’ IMPACT! Wrestling Results & Report (9/20/18)

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IMPACT Wrestling Results & Report

For the first tim ever, IMPACT! Wrestling comes to us from Mexico!!!

QUICK RESULTS

  • oVe d. Aerostar, El Hijo Del Vikingo & Laredo Kid – pinfall, oVe pinned Vikingo, Doomsday Cutter
  • Eli Drake d. Trevor Lee – pin fall, Gravy Train
  • King d. Chronus – pin fall, spinning back fist
  • Faby Apache d. Alisha – pin fall, sit out powerbomb
  • The Lucha Bros. d. Matt Sydal & Rich Swann – pin fall, Fenix pins Sydal, muscle buster power bomb
  • IMPACT! Title: Austin Aries(c) d. El Texano Jr. – pinfall, brainbuster

________________________________

IMPACT! Wrestling from Mexico

Video package recapping last week starts us off.

Match One: Aerostar, El Hijo Del Vikingo & Laredo Kid vs oVe [Jake Crist, Dave Crist & Sami Calihan]

Nice touch here as the ring announcement for the Mexican trio was in Spanish and announced them as the “Technicos”

Brisk pace to start between Sami and Laredo, everyone in, kicks all around leave Laredo standing. “Mexico” chant for the Technicos. Dave and Laredo in, Laredo flying everywhere, hits a front kick sending Dave to the floor. Jake cuts him off, superkick to the back of the head, then chin, and a crescent kick takes him down. Aerostar in with a headscissor interrupted by Sami with a powerbomb.

Vikingo in and walks across the ring on HIS HANDS!!! Front kick by Sami takes him down. Misses in the corner, Vikingo with a hurricanrana. Hits a tope con hilo, but oVe catches him and hits a powerbomb in the apron. Laredo and Aerostar on the top buckle, Aero goes off Laredo’s shoulders and dives on oVe on the floor. Laredo follows with a delayed moonsault!!! Vikingo follows with a shooting star press!!!

Brawling begins all around he ring. Laredo tosses in Sami, who hits a huge clothesline. Mounted punches and tries to rip the mask. Tags in Jake.

Jake takes out Aero and Vikingo and a savate kick to Laredo off a toss. Sami and Jake toss Laredo out of the corner.

Vikingo tags in against Jake. Jake tosses Vikingo into the buckles, sets him in them and kicks his back. Double kick to a held Vikingo, Laredo breaks up the pin at 2. Dave tags in.

They toss Vikingo who hits a senton on Jake. Aero In, hits a springboard off Dave into a double cutter, then a springboard code breaker on Dave. Vikingo hits a splash, Laredo hits a 450, all men cover, broken up by Sami and Jake.

oVe all pick up an opponent and tombstone, all get two on their man. Dave puts a Vikingo on his shoulders. Jake with a doomsday cutter off Sami’s shoulders for the 1-2-3

Your winners: oVe (pin fall)

Rich Swann is back stage and runs into Matt Sydal. Says they’ve had misunderstanding but he wants Swann to succeed. Susan says he received a divine transmition that they’re supposed to be a tag team, and they’ll face The Lucha Brothers, TONIGHT!!

**commercial break**

Backstage we see Sexy Starr getting ready when Tessa Blanchard walks in. Tells Starr she can’t put her stuff where the champion sits and if she wants to make it she better start moving. Faby Apache then approaches asking what Tessa’s problem is, and telling her around here, they treat each other with respect. Tessa says she thinks she has a better locker room anyway and walks away.

To the announce table for Josh Matthews and Don Callis, and they talk about Tessa’s disrespect and run down the card.

Next up, Eli Drake has an open challenge! Eli starts by saying he came to Mexico looking for a real challenge, but all he found was “tontos! Si!” And challenges anyone to come out.

Match Two: Eli Drake vs Trevor Lee

Trevor Lee answers the challenge with a referee in arm, and Eli jumps him. Trevor gets Eli in the corner and stomps away and celebrates. Kick and uppercut, Trevor then gets whipped across and Eli hits the uppercut. Forearm send Eli to the floor who then trips Trevor on the apron.

Back in, Eli chokes him on the middle rope, then hits a leg drop across the back of his neck. Trevor then drops Eli on the top rope, hits a back breaker for two. More corner work, as they’ve move from one to the next. Eli then charges out with a clothesline, scoop slam, and Eli drops him, goes for the Faby train and Lee reverses into a pin with the tights for two. Eli picks him back up, hits The Gravy Train for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Eli Drake (pin fall)

Earlier today, we see the OGz saying they need to get out of this trash town, and they’re going to get the LAX to break the cease fire.

**commercial break**

Match three: King (w/ Homicide & Hernandez) vs Chronus

Chronus looks like a masked Spartan warrior.

Handshake to start and the OGz jump Chronus. Cutter by Homicide. Now the bell rings, match starts.

Spinning back fist by King for the 1-2-3

Your winner: King (pin fall)

King gets a mic, calls out Konnan, tells him to ignore the cease fire. Calls them nothing but cowards.

**commercial break**

Bound For Glory video package.

LAX back stage and Santana is sick of the OGz. He asks Konnan where his heart went? Konnan tells them not to tell him how to run his business. Says he won’t break the cease fire, because if they do, The Comission will make sure they disappear. Says their match at BFG will be a Concrete Jungle Match.

Match four: Alisha vs Faby Apache

Apache had her head shaved at TripleMania this year.

Collar and elbow to start, Apache takes her down into an ankle lock, Alisha reverses, but reversed back. Arm drags and leg trips by Faby and a stand-off. Kick exchange, then chops, snspamare  dropkick by Faby.

Scoop slam and a leg drop by Faby for two. Drop toe hold onto a surfboard by Faby, into a face buster!!! Back elbow from Alisha stops a charge and then she hits a slow hurricanrana. Forearm strikes, into a wheelbarrow roll up for  one. Alisha charges a corner, Faby hits a superkick for two.

Alisha off the ropes kicks in an headscissor octopus but Faby walks to the ropes. Alisha hits a clothesline to take her down, both women up, Alisha hits a flatliner for two. Alisha goes up top, hits a cross body, then Faby hits a running boot and a sit out powerbomb for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Faby Apache (pin fall)

Josh Matthews interviews Faby with a translator, who says she represents women’s wrestling and she wants to face Tessa NEXT WEEK!!

El Texano Jr. getting interviewed backstage, he welcomes Austin Aries to Mexico. Says he will win the title and ride off into the sunset as champion!

**commercial break**

Scarlett Bordeaux back stage, she’s got a huge announcement next week

Match five: Rich Swann & Matt Sydal vs The Lucha Bros. [Pentagón Jr. & Fenix]

Fenix is wearing his AAA Mega Championship to the ring tonight (nice touch)

Penta shoves Swann as he enters the ring.

Swann and Fenix start. Collar and elbow, go behind by Swann,  reversed, throws Fenix into the ropes, springboard after springboard, trip, Fenix misses a moonsault and they flip away and a stand off.

Pentagón  and Sydal tag in. Taunts to start. Kick from Pentagón, and another when Sydal tries to roll. Fenix tags in and they both kick Sydal. Fenix hits an assisted cutter on Matt and they kick away at Swann. Fenix hits a double stomp for one. Superkick from Fenix to Matt, body scissor splash for two.

Sydal hits a kick for one. Snapmare and he tags in Swann who hits a rolling hilo over the top rope. Swann gets Penta in a corner and snapmares him out. Double team on Penta, he kicks them both, and tags in Fenix.

Springboard double cutter by Fenix, then a tornado con hilo on both men on the floor. Fenix hits a superkick on Sydal on the floor, as he tries to enter he gets an enziguri from Swann, who then hits a twisting con hilo from the top to the floor

**commercial break**

Fenix with a springboard crossbody to Sydal, who hits a spinebuster. Misses a charge, Fenix gets a knee after a roll through. Double team on Fenix, Penta interrupts, Swann sets him up for an enziguri, both Swann and Sydal hits top rope frankensteiners, Swann gets a two on Fenix. Both men up top and interrupted by Penta and Fenix. Fenix hits a double stomp on Swanns neck, then Penta hits a package oiledriver teal on the apron.

Fenix then hits a Muscle Buster powerbomb on Sydal for the 1-2-3

Your winners: The Lucha Bros. (pin fall)

oVe hits the ring and taunts the Brothers from outside the ring. Cage comes out and evens the odds and oVe retreats.

Backstage interview with Aries and his crew. Aries says tonight, he takes on Texano because there’s no one left to challenge him.  Says the title will stay right where it is, on his shoulder. Moose then takes a selfie with the interviewer.

**commercial break**

Backstage the Desi Hit Squad are getting massages, saying next week they have a non-title match against LAX. Gama interrupts  saying it’s not time to relax and they need to get their heads right. They proceed to beat each other.

Joe Hendry’s new music video debuts next talking about his “Best Friend” and how he won’t abandon Grado for Katarina.

GWN Flashback Moment of the Week is an Ultimate X Match: Petey Williams vs Chris Sabin vs Matt Bentley

Video package covering Allie’s promise that no one will go in Su Yung’s coffin

**commercial break**

Announcers hype the main event, saying KM is still recovering at home as well.

They hype next week as well.

They then announce their 2018 IMPACT! Hall of Fame inductee – ABYSS!!!!

Match six, IMPACT! World Championship: El Texano Jr vs Austin Aries(c) (w/Killer Kross & Moose)

Arm ringer by Aries, reversed by Texano and back by AA. Aries gets out of a head scissor take down, and chills on the top rope.

Texano takes down AA and hits a con hilo and chills on the corner himself. AA snaps Texano off the top rope, goes for a con hilo himself but Texano moves. They brawl on the floor as we head to commercial.

**commercial break**

Aries knees Texano in the corner, works him over against the ropes, and in the corner again. Back take to Texano and then he takes him to another corner.

Texano reverses a whip, AA floats over. Texano gets a back rake of his own and a second. Goes for a third against the ropes and AA hits his knees. Texano hits a back breaker and chops in the corner. Texano then hits a leg lariat for two.

AA rolls out and wants to leave. AS he goes back in, he grabs the bull rope, which is taken by the ref. AA grabs the title, referee sees him, Texano hits a superkick, whips him with he rope, covers and AA gets his foot on the rope at 2

Texano goes for a powerbomb, AA reverses for a brainbuster and the 1-2-3

Your winner, and STILL champion: Austin Aries (pin fall)

Johnny Impact appears on the video screen, says they put him on the shelf, and he may not be medically cleared by BFG, but he promises, he will be seeing him a little sooner than he thinks. AA says he’s not stupid, Impact has to be there somewhere.

Impact comes down the ramp, jumps AA in the ring. Superkick to Kross, knocks Moose off the apron. The heels regroup, when all of the suddenness a kendo stick starts hitting them, and Eddie Edwards is jumping them from behind!!!

Impact and Edwards stand tall as when go off the air!!!

 

Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @OldSkewlPantz

Make sure you check out The Bearded IMPACT! Podcast, every Friday on all your favorite podcast services!!!

GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY!!!

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Coverage

Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 5.29.25

Stuff happens, maybe it doesn’t, Dreamer and Delirious can’t book.

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Well Trick Willie is the new TNA champ and this is the first iMPACT since his win…so let’s just hear him talk about it.

Ratings:

  • The Rascalz vs Fir$t Cla$$ vs Laredo vs The System: Rascalz win via Meteora – ***
  • Raj Singh vs Mustafa Ali: Ali wins via…No Shit – Squash Garbage
  • ASH by Elegance vs Lei Ying Lee: Lei wins via Spinning TKO – ** 3/4
  • Mance Warner w/SDL vs Jobber: Mance wins via Hit the Pay Winda – Squash
  • Santino Marella & Arianna Grace vs Robert Stone & Victoria Crawford w/Tessa: Team Robbie wins via shenanigans – **
  • International Championship: Steve Maclin (c) vs Matt Cardona: Maclin retains via KIA – ***

 

Results:

The Rascalz vs Fir$t Cla$$ vs Laredo vs The System

Octagon got jumped by The System earlier so Laredo is fighting alone. Another backstage jumping is getting a little dumb. 

Laredo and Trey start. Typical Indie start with Simultaneous awful Dropkick spot and bad counters, AJ blind tag runs the smaller guys over, tags out to KC and the Rascalz instantly get the moment. KC is rocked, tags in Laredo and Laredo takes out the System before Lish gets on the apron and grabs Laredo. The referee kicks out Lish and Rehwoldt on commentary points out it’s a No DQ match so that’s dumb.

KC gets tossed at AJ, he catches him, Rascalz Dive and do their taunt as we go to commercial. We come back, Tennessee Whiskey into a KC tag in for the near fall on Laredo. Corner combo, Snapmare into Flip Forward Neck Breaker, KC is on a roll. AJ tags Laredo and starts talking crap to KC, they swerve and go Finger Poke of Doom, but it’s not a legal pin. Suddenly tornado attacks, System and Rascalz go for broke, AJ hits the Senton to break the eventual pin, Laredo counters AJ’s Chokeslam attempt. Trey clears out The System, Wentz sends himself and KC over and out, Laredo with a Corkscrew Moonsault, which looked cool but it’s the pile of morons waiting to get hit spot.

AJ hits the Down Payment on Laredo, but Trey blind tagged AJ. Meteora on AJ, Trey pins Laredo and Rascalz win.

Raj Singh vs Mustafa Ali

Raj looks like shit in the gear he came down in…and he wrestles equivalently. I would rather anyone else comeback…give me Anarquia.

Ali murders Raj, Instant Dropkick, Rolling Neckbreaker, Corkscrew Standing Moonsault, it’s not close. Raj tries to counter things but Ali Bellclap, a little Duck the left, connect the right. Raj even does a terrible looking Punch Combo, he’s in bad shape, a bad looking Ushigoroshi, Raj with a sloppy looking something, 450 ends it.

Fire Raj as quickly as you brought him back. You don’t need a comedically pathetic job guy when the roster is like 4 guys getting pushed and everyone else sucks. Stop being stupid. Ali still hates women too.

This Injury Report is the dumbest segment in the history of wrestling. Stop treating fake shit as “serious business”. 

ASH by Elegance vs Lei Ying Lee

ASH mocks karate stuff, Lei throws a few Rising Crane kicks as ASH bails and then things slow down a little. But a Pump Kick, Sliding Kick and Low Dropkick cause ASH to cower and claim her tooth broke. It’s a bait to pull Lei into the turnbuckles and them get in a few stomps. Ash keeps Lei in the corner, Suplexes her ankles into the buckles and then Ash throws a few Booty Shots/Hit Attacks then starts a grounded stretch, Lei Headscissors her down, still sells the hips and ankles, but dodges and fires, combination strikes into the 10 Count Down Strikes. T-bone Suplex, into the pinfall, for only two.

Cheapshot into Running Meteora from ASH for two. Ash goes for the Miz Yes Kicks and Lei No Sells and asks for more. Gorgeous Capture Suplex into Thunder Struck and TKO with flair. My baby has a better finish now! Yay!

Mance Warner w/SDL vs Jobber

Hannifan cursing and being pissed at Trick for not even showing but is more entertaining than a squash match. Not that Mance’s offense is bad, but 2 out of 3 job matches is stupid.

Santino Marella & Arianna Grace vs Robert Stone & Victoria Crawford w/Tessa

Marella tries to tie up with Robbie, but he bails and tags out to Victoria so Arianna comes in and aside from Alicia Fox’s silliness, the tie up was decent with Arianna and Victoria. Tessa interferes and the Referee throws her out. Victoria comes back in and aside from a slight miscommunication with how Arianna does her punches, Alicia Fox is making her look…pretty good. Transition moves, okay brawling and Arianna looks amazing in her outfit.

Rob and Santino distract the referee and Victoria hits a Figure Four into her Northern Lights Suplex, only for 2. Arianna finally Back Body Drop to find the tag, Santino and Rob, Santino does his split dodge into the Standing Headbutt, Arianna Cross Body onto Victoria. Rob pulls out the ref, then shoves the ref into Santino, Santino into the steps and Arianna attack but Alicia and Lish, the fix is in, Arianna eats the pin.

International Championship: Steve Maclin (c) vs Matt Cardona

A few quick brawl moves, Shoulder Tackles, Strikes, Back Breakers, Cardona does get dumped out and eats a SCUD. Maclin bounces Cardona’s face off the apron and hits an Elbow off the apron to keep Cardona reeling, but a dodged tackle sends Maclin into the steps. Cardona tries to Piledriver Maclin on the ramp, but Back Drop counter, into commercial.

Formulaic commercial etiquette of Cardona still in control, throws Maclin into the ropes, Diving Shoulder Tackle lays both dudes out and they get up by 8. Fighting Spirit spot, Cardona hits ropes and gets hit by Maclin twice, Thesz Press, Ground and Pound, Back Elbow and Olympic Slam has Maclin rolling. Splash into Lariat for two. Maclin has been all gas no brakes. Cardona tries to take a few shortcuts that turns into a Straight Jacket Takedown. Cardona to the top, Maclin cuts him off, Superplex spot. 1-2-kick out!

Maclin goes topside for a Jar Headbutt, Cardona hits the ropes so Maclin crashes into the corner, 2 Reboots connect, the third gets caught, counter into Busaiku Knee, Jar Headbutt. In and out, Cardona uses the middle rope for the Low Blow, Killswitch from Cardona but Maclin kicks out. Cardona dodges and shoves Maclin towards the ref, he puts the brakes on, Radio Silence! 1-2-Kick out! Maclin catches a top rope move, Power Bomb, Corner Splash, Tree of Woe, Caught in the Crosshairs, KIA and Maclin retains!

 

Overall Score: 4.5/10

Boring paint by numbers show, no Trick, System has one move, Robert Stone is a scumbag, too long to introduce new girls, lots of throw away segments and Rosemary sets up YET ANOTHER Monster’s Ball match. These aren’t interesting when there’s one every 3 months. So we can have terrible Monster’s Ball matches quarterly, Barbed Wire Massacre and Clockwork Orange House of Fun…BUT NO LOCKDOWN!?

Go home TNA, you’re drunk.

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Coverage

Andrew’s TNA Under Siege Results & Match Ratings: 5.23.25

Let’s see if this proves to be better than the awful build.

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Well let’s hope the matches are interesting or something because this card is such a useless pile of nothing matches. Xia Brookside vs Rosemary went the expected way with Brookside snapping to beat the hell out of Rosemary and get DQ’d. So Xia Darkside is on the horizon and Santino had a good promo with Robert Stone.

I look forward to a prostate exam more than this show…something please don’t suck.

Ratings:

  • Mike Santana vs KC Navarro w/AJ Francis: Santana wins via Spin the Block – *** 1/2
  • Eddie Edwards w/Lish vs Cody Deaner: Eddie wins via Boston Knee Party – **
  • Northern Armoury w/Hammer the Honey Badgers vs Dango, Moose and Brian Myers w/Lish: Armoury wins via Piledriver – ** 3/4
  • Match by Elegance: TNA Knockouts Tag Titles: Spitfire vs Elegance Clique (c): Elegance retains via Rarefied Air – **
  • Order 4 vs The Rascalz, Indi Hartwell & Raj Singh: Ali wins via 450 – ***
  • Arianna Grace vs Tessa Blanchard: Tessa wins via Magnum – *
  • TNA Knockouts Championship: Victoria Crawford (Alicia Fox) vs Masha Slamovich (c): Masha retains via Requiem – *1/2
  • TNA Tag Team Championship: Bootleg Hardyz (Leon Slater & Matt Hardy vs Kaiba Boys (c): Seto wins via Danger Zone – ** 1/2
  • Joe Hendry & Elijah vs Frankie Kazarian & Trick Williams: Hendry wins via Standing Ovation

 

Results:

Mike Santana vs KC Navarro w/AJ Francis

AJ feigns a ‘turf toe’ injury to randomly call the audible to have KC wrestle Mike. Comedy open, then KC ducks and dodges strikes, rope runs but then gets caught and tossed into a corner. Eats a Hip Attack in the corner and a Back Body Drop for a near fall. Santana mean mugs AJ and then 3 Amigos and a Latino Heat shimmy, only a near fall but it gets a pop.

KC tries to fight back to his feet and then eats a Back Chop and KC looks like he was shot in the chest. AJ was late to the interference as a second, but it at least looked funny. KC hits the 305, drives Santana into the corner, and seats Santana with the Snapmare. KC goes for a either a Satellite move or Blessing in Disguise, Santana stops KC’s momentum and Inside Out Suplex. Santana kips up and rocks KC. KC tries to avoid him, Santana does the following roll and hits the Rolling Buck Fifty. Calls for Spin the Block, but KC hits a Superkick, Pump Kick for Santana, rope runs, Santana tries the Buck Fifty again but KC avoids, strings a lot together, Corner Boot Wash into a Frog Splash for only 2.

KC tries a surprised Blessing, Santana blocks, Body Scissors Victory but Santana rolls with it, KC perches and tries a Cross Body but gets  caught Buckle Bomb into Cannon Ball! 1-2-…oh KC kicked out. My son KC is looking like a million bucks in change. Spin the Block attempt, but KC crumbles to avoid. Santana hits a Jacknife Powerbomb, goes for another but KC flips out of it and eats the Spin the Block.

Santana helped KC up and shakes his hand, AJ attacks him after the fact. KC looks conflicted in helping the beat down. KC is gonna be money, give him the face turn, he’s fantastic. Extend his contract and push him to the damn moon right now.

Eddie Edwards w/Lish vs Cody Deaner

Eddie lands a few chops, hits the ropes and Cody gets the Thesz Press into Ground and Pound but Eddie hits another chop. Mostly Kobashi offense and Lish interfering. Chops, Lariats and Wife. A little jawing from Eddie, he throws Deaner into the ropes, Deaner stops the momentum and Clothesline’s the both to the outside, Deaner tries to fire up with the fans but when he turns he eats the Blue Thunder Bomb on the apron. Eddie wants a count, Deaner beats the count around 8, and Eddie jumps on him.

Deaner fires, no selling Eddie’s onslaught of Chops, Deaner goes to the top, Eddie cuts him off, rocks him, Superplex into the Tiger Driver but only a two count. Eddie starts talking crap to a fan, Cody hits a Dork Right Hand, Shiranui off the steps, rolls Eddie in, goes to the top, Crossbody but only for 2. Deaner calls for DDT, Lish gets on the apron, Eddie pulls out the Planeteer ring, Falcon Punch, but Deaner kicks out.

Eddie is besides himself, Deaner fires, tries to lock in the DDT, Eddie pushes him back to the ropes, Lish with the Uppercut to the Cock, Boston Knee Party and Deaner is gone.

Eddie is my favorite wrestler of 2025. He got rid of a parasite with the worst gimmick ever.

Northern Armoury w/Hammer the Honey Badgers vs Dango, Moose and Brian Myers w/Lish

The system were insulting Canada and making fun of jobless Deaner so Eric Young runs them down, gets big pops from the Canadian crowd and create an impromptu match using a local Mascot as their outside help to deal with Lish.

Dango and Temu Yuta start, moves that don’t matter follow because Sinner & Saint are useless. Thank god when Moose tags in, he demands Eric Young in. I wouldn’t want to dirty my hands with useless jobbers either. Shoulder Tackle spot where they bounce off each other, EY hits a Hip Toss, and Locomotion uninteresting spots from Jabroni duo, the crowd starts singing “Oh Canada” because of course.

God I hate Sinner & Saint…I have no desire to engage with the moves. I would rather watch lemon party…and a “We’ve Got Healthcare” chant starts. Hair Jabroni gets isolated for a while, Myers hits a Flatliner and a Cheap Shot. Myers goes for a Spear, eats a Knee Lift…someone tag in EY so I can care. THANK YOU.

EY cleans house, rocks everyone EY with the Flair Flip into the Corner, walks to the top rope, Moose tries the escalara cut off but EY pushes him off, Polish Hammer, EY goes back to the top, Jabroni Duo tandem Powerbomb Moose, Dive on the others, Macho Elbow connects for 2. Piledriver attempt, but Moose gets out, hits a Lights Out. Hair dork with a splash to break it up, Myers does a thing, Bald Jabroni does the stupidest Back Handspring Shotei I’ve ever seen, Dango disposes of Baldo…EY hits the Spicolli Driver on Moose and stalks him into the corner, Moose pulls EY into the buckle, Lish pulls out Kendra and beats the hell out of the Mascot. Hands Kendra to Moose, local Canadian board members get involved, Moose eats a Piledriver.

This felt…so damn TNA it wasn’t bad I just detest Sinner & Saint. They have no charisma, do nothing interesting or different or well. But a TNA chicanery overbooking classic.

Match by Elegance: TNA Knockouts Tag Titles: Spitfire vs Elegance Clique (c)

Spitfire start fast, set up a table because they’re dressed like the Dudleys, Dani gets the Powerbomb attempt countered. Elegance attack Jody, pull out some Hockey props that got sideways as the Elegances are dressed like Mounties. Things kind of devolve to slow and telegraphed spots, where’s Jisoo when I need someone to say “Not bad, but not good”.

Yeah I couldn’t care enough to follow what’s going on. It was kind of fun, but slow, corny, a Bad Powerbomb from Heather misses the table and instead her head clips the table. Why would you have someone 4 for 9 try to Powerbomb a beautifully thicc girl like Dani. I don’t ask Brad Williams to powerbomb…well…ANYONE. Same same.

Order 4 vs The Rascalz, Indi Hartwell & Raj Singh

Champagne Singh has a rambly promo that sucks. Dude can’t wrestle, he can’t talk…why pick him? He didn’t even get cheap pops.

Tornado start, Rascalz double the hands, then things calm down and Indi starts with Tasha. Indi throws Tasha into the ropes for a Stun Gun that she bounces back from and into a Side Walk Slam. Skyler  tags in, Wentz takes things over, Rascalz hold Skyler’s legs and Signh does the “Wazzup”.

Singh starts beating the hell out of both hands, Tasha dives, Singh catches her, but Ali picks the ankle, Apron Hung DDT as Tasha helps with a Stomp. So they try Locomotion isolation on Singh, he fights off a bit, but Ali tags in and Hotch and Ali hit a beautiful Outside In Rolling Neckbreaker spot. Ali hits the Standing Corkscrew, Singh manages to clock him and the Knockouts tag in. She clears the Hands off the apron, but Ali grabs her hair, dodges her swing, Tasha tries the School Girl for the flash win but Indi kicks out and then hits the Spinebuster. Ali breaks up the pin with a Senton. Signature spam moment, Ali got the best of it, but now we get the Human Centipede Suplex Struggle…but Tasha and Indi fight ontop  of them. Inside of the suplex, they’re the cheerleader style Pyramid base. Indi his the Cutter through the base of teammates. Okay…that was unique, I always liked Indi.

Rascalz hit the Hands with a Hot Fire Flame into a Tornillo from Wentz. The Hands may be out for the rest of the match. Singh vs Ali. Ali tries to use the feet on ropes, Rascalz push off. The faces surround Ali, bit the Hands actually recover, Tasha tries to deal with Indi, and Ali hits a very stiff looking Sliding Dropkick to Indi’s face. 450 on Singh to win the match. He then starts choking Singh with the apron skirt and Tasha gets in his way and he shoves her hard. Ali’s new gimmick is…sexually frustrated mad woman hater? Not sure…it’s interesting at least.

Indi better be fine though. She’s a cutie who can actually work.

Arianna Grace vs Tessa Blanchard

Robert Stone tells Santino that without a manager’s license he can’t be out here. He’s banned from ring side.

Tessa Wrist Locks, Front Facelocks, just making fun of her. The crowd does the “She’s a Racist” chant so Tessa does the Hulk Hogan pose. She’s loving the heat. Arianna has been getting so dominated this looks more like the start of a Pornhub video aside from normal pro wrestling. Tessa is just picking her apart. Tessa misses or Arianna was supposed to move and didn’t so it looked kinda bad.

Grace hits a slap and Tear Drop Suplex to finally start doing things. Rolling Elbows, Cutters and a lot of simple offense as Tessa stays cocky but Arianna keep landing a punch or two, finally hits the Superplex but only for two. Arianna tries another Superplex, but Tessa bites her face, wants Magnum but slips so she adjusts to hitting the Buzzsaw first and redoing the finish.

It was sloppy and uninteresting, but they’re both hot, so I’m not complaining. I’d just like to know if the botches were Tessa’s fault or Arianna being green as fuck.

TNA Knockouts Championship: Victoria Crawford (Alicia Fox) vs Masha Slamovich (c)

They start cat fight style until Masha hits the Drop Toe hold into PK and lariat as Alicia powders, Masha follows and starts arguing with Robert Stone and Alicia hits a beautiful Jumping Side Kick. The her Northern Lights Suplex on the floor. Masha tries to fight out and misses her Sole Butt so Crawford screams at her, slams her down and starts getting annoyed. Forearms into a Vertical Suplex Crawford goes into the pin for only two.

Rope run, Masha fights back again, bad looking Capo kick…great interference by Stone has Masha stumble into Crawford and she hits a gorgeous Package Piledriver. Belt distraction spot but the ref tries to wrestle it away, Masha tries to stop it, Masha clocks the ref, Crawford connects with the belt. Tries about Package Piledriver but Masha blocks and hits the Russian Death Device, but ref is still dead. Masha tries to revive the ref, School Girl kick out, spinning back fist, Requiem… meh.

TNA Tag Team Championship: Bootleg Hardyz (Leon Slater & Matt Hardy vs Kaiba Boys (c)

Matt and Nic start off, Matt gets the early upper hand with this weird Headlock open into the Shoulder Tackle and Headlock Takeover. Matt finally tags out from the most boring opening sequence, but Leon starts doing the same Headlock crap. The last match was boring, this is starting bad and now tornado brawl but the Bootlegs clear the ring. Holy hell this is bad…starting too slow after two bad matches. Nemeths forgot who was level cause this is so boring. Holy crap this is the worst 5 minutes ever. I am slipping into a coma while sharting.

They’ve been isolating Leon long enough for the crowd to chant “We want Matt”, there’s a tease but Matt gets pulled off the apron. Ryan connects on the Implant DDT. Tries another but Leon counters and hits a Back Handspring Elbow. Simultaneous tags, Matt has control, Delete Buckle Smashes. Matt hits Delete Buckle Smashes on Ryan too, then Side Effects for everyone, Twist of…countered. Nic pushes Matt into Ryan and Ryan gets popped. FameASSer gets a 2. Assisted Back Drop/Neckbreaker and Slater makes the save. Throws Mokuba out, Plancha, Matt tries to roll up Nic but he kicks. Nic hits the Twist of Fate for arrogance, only two.

Superkick is caught, Leon flies in with a Leg Lariat, then Plot Twist for only 2! Ryan moves Nic from Poetry In Motion, Matt moves closer, Poetry over the Post. Twist of Fate from Matt, Swanton 450…1-2…Ryan saves the day and smashes Matt’s face into the apron. Leon tries to help, but misses and gets thrown into the Steps, Superkick and Danger Zone onto Matt, Kaiba Boys retain.

Half of that match was unwatchable.

Joe Hendry & Elijah vs Frankie Kazarian & Trick Williams

Kaz and Elijah start, some interesting counter spots with Elijah using the ropes for Short Arm Lariats, a few times, tags in Joe and Trick asks for the tag. Kaz tells everyone to fuck off, doesn’t tag and goes after Joe with a few short punches, but Joe Shoulder Tackles and Hip Toss, tags in Elijah and they do a Simple Double Back Elbow, look for a Double Bomb but Kaz rolls through and tags in Trick when he wants to. Trick and Elijah connect and its mostly Trick talking and then Rope Run spots, and a lot of talking.

Dysfunctional teammate tagging in and out yelling stuff… ugh. Elijah wipes them both out in the most uninteresting ways, and Joe hits his Rock the Baby Flying Senton. And that’s the first time the crowd pops this match. Kaz starts walking away, Trick goes after Kaz, the faces go after both, they deposit the heels into the crowd and start brawling into the crowd. The referee is out there with them and not counting.

At least this brawl has forced the crowd out of their Canadian coma, people in the ring, Elijah Rope Walk, Hendry Stalling Suplex at the time. Elijah walked 3 corners and then they punctuate together. Elijah hits the ropes, Kaz trips him, he eats a Trick Kick and a Flapjack. Trick tags out for Kaz to continue to isolate Elijah, Trick tags back, Elijah tries to fight out but Trick kicks Elijah in the head and then cheap shots Hendry on the apron. Leg Lariat from Trick on Elijah.

Eventual tag out to Hendry, Sack of Shits and Kip Ups. Standing O, Trick says no, so Hendry hits the Olympic Slam for two. Trick counters AA with Bookend, Trick to the top, Crossbody, Joe rolls through, AA. Kaz tags, Backstabber, Sliding Lariat, Slingshot Leg Drop for two. Kaz goes Chicken Wing, Joe says no, AA for Kaz. Elijah tags in, and loses control immediately, Trick tags in and also loses control immediately. Trick tries to fly at him, but Knee Lift from Elijah for a 2. Trick Shot on Elijah, Joe makes the save, Kaz takes him outside and grabs a guitar. Kaz tags in and tries to use the guitar, Highwayman’s Farewell but Trick saves it. Trick wants to use the guitar, distracts ref, Elijah’s roll up doesn’t win. Trick Shot accidentally hits Kaz Standing Ovation and face win.

Is Trick winning at Battleground or will this just be very one sided in matches?

Overall Score: 2/10

Two points for KC Navarro being the best thing going right now.

The rest, botches, botches everywhere and boy oh boy:

The Critic Meme | IT STINKS! | image tagged in memes,the critic | made w/ Imgflip meme maker

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