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Chris’ IMPACT! Wrestling One Night Only: Night of the Dummies Report

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Welcome to a SPECIAL EDITION (the second of the WEEK) of Chris’ IMPACT! Wrestling Results!!

Tonight, is IMPACT! Wrestling’s One Night Only: Night of the Dummies, exclusively on the GWN app

 

QUICK RESULTS

  • Jay Freddie d. Isys Ephex – pin fall, Leaping DDT
  • Fallah Bahh d. “Super Cop” Dick Justice – pin fall, Banzai Drop
  • Slyck Wagner Brown d. Axel Lennox – pin fall, Top Rope Sit Out Dominator
  • Alisha d. Rebel – pin fall, Backpack Stunner
  • Team Tremendous d. Heavenly Bodies – pin fall, Doomsday Sliced Bread, Dan pins Dustin
  • Street Fight: Santana d. Homicide – pin fall, Frog Splash
  • Sean Carr d. Brute Vanslyke – pin fall, Swanton Bomb
  • Moose d. KM – pin fall, Spear
  • Eddie Edwards d. Eli Drake – pin fall, DDT

___________________________________________________________________________________

IMPACT! Wrestling One Night Only: Night of the Dummies

Coming to you from a really small arena in Binghamton, New York, this is Night of the Dummies (YEAH!)

Match One: Jay Freddie vs Isys Ephex

The ring announcer mistakenly calls this a triple threat match

Josh Matthews and Sonjay Dutt calling the action

Arm ringers from both with some chain wrestling to start. Isis with a huge shoulder tackles, and Jay with a receipt. Two arm drags by Jay and a drop kick to take down Isys. Second drop kick and a cover for two. Jay charges the corner, gets placed on top and kicks away Isys, and hits a missile drop kick. Suicide dive puts Jay into the crowd (as they as SUPER close).

Back in the ring, Jay tries to hit a cross body, Isys tries a backbreaker counter and misses. Seated arm bar by Isys and punches to the gut. Cover for one. They exchange chops until Isys knees the midsection and moves Jay to the corner. Shoulder blocks, and he dumps Jay into the middle of the ring. Cover for two.

Punch exchange by both men, Isys gets a knee in and goes for a suplex thats blocked three times, and he drop kicks Jay’s knee out from under him. Supplies by Isys reversed into a reverse DDT by Jay, both men down. Running back elbows by Jay followed by a clothesline. Leg lariat by Jay after a missed clothesline, and a gut wrench duplex gets a 2-count.

Jay up to the second turnbuckle, leaps off to nothing, charges the corner by Isys gets a boot up and hits a DDT for 2. Kick to the back. Jay counters into a Tiger Driver for 2 and 3/4. Jay misses the Shining Wizard and counters in to the Awful Waffle (not making that up) for a 2-count. Isys puts Jay on the top buckle, gets head butted off and Jay hits leaping DDT for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Jay Freddie

Video of Eli Drake playing piano… horribly. He also can’t sing… Welcomes us to the show, says he’s gathered the top talent for us tonight. Sends us to his “guest correspondent” on the street to get the people’s reaction, and he sends it to Eli Drake.

Match Two: Dick Justice vs Fallah Bahh

Dick Justice was the “stand by wrestler” in IMPACT!, but here he is known as “The Super Cop”

Bahh tries to get a chant for himself, but the crowd just chants “Dick”. They shake hands and the fans chant “we want Dick.” Sumo charge and neither man goes down. Justice off the ropes, shoulder charge gets nothing “No No No” from Bahh. Bahh off the ropes with the same result. Second shoulder charge, and a third and fourth, and fifth. No result and now both men are winded. Both men off the ropes, collide and both men go down and out of the ring.

For some reason this starts the first Saintly Fecal Matter chant of the night…

Bahh charges in and they both hit a clothesline. Justice tries a slam, gets nothing but a double sledge to the back. Bahh charges Justice in the corner who pulls out a finger gun (yes, he made a gun shape with his fingers) and that stops Bahh in his tracks and Bahh puts his hands up. Justice orders Bahh to get on the ground, Bahh prays for his life and kisses the finger gun. The Bahh asks “No No No?” and Justice puts the finger gun away in his fanny pack that he’s still wearing. Justice goes for a hug, and Bahh hits a Samoan Drop.

Bahh hits a series of headbutts and then a Hadouken (WHAT?!?!) that takes Justice down. Bahh hits a dropkick (-ish) and then rolls over Justice. Bahh covers for two. Chop exchange by both men, Justice chops him into the corner, then calls time out as he’s winded. More chops then charges across and eats an elbow from Bahh. Bahh then charges and Justice moves and Bahh eats post. Left hand punches from Justice followed by a right, and he bodyslams Bahh.

Justice then leaves the ring and poses for the crowd.  Justice returns to the ring and Bahh hits a belly to belly on Justice. Drags Justice to the corner, Banzai Drop for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Fallah Bahh

After the match, they shake hands and hug it out before Bahh leaves.

Backstage interview with Moose as he gets sentimental about how Binghampton sucks. Talks about how he gets to wrestle KM, saying he didn’t even know there was a man on the IMPACT! roster named KM…

Backstage now with Dick Justice, saying how he isn’t a stand by wrestler, he’s the Super Cop, and how he was going to put Bahh away, but Bahh is one of the smartest men he’s ever faced. Says next time, Justice will be served

Match Three: Slyck Wagner Brown vs Axel Lennox

Lennox looks like a reject from The Ascension…

Collar and elbow tie up to start. Side headlock by Brown, whipped off into a shoulder block, Lennox off the ropes into one of his own and takes down Brown. Chain wrestling take downs leads to a spot where Brown visually signals for Lennox to grab his wrist, which he does, just for Brown to duck under and escape and try his reverse DDT, but Lennox escapes as well.

Back to the collar and elbow. Wrist control to Lennox, but a leg sweep by Brown into a headlock. Lennox runs to the rope but Brown clotheslines his over the top. Brown grabs a fans water bottle and hits Lennox in the head with it. Clothesline by Brown on the floor. Lennox fights back and slams Brown’s face in to the guardrail twice. Lennox breaks up the nonexistent count, which now the referee starts…

Lennox places Brown on the apron and hits a leg drop. Back in the ring, he covers Brown for two. Lennox hits a scoop slam and an elbow drop again for two. Matthews says this maybe a rivalry, Sonjay says its one we know nothing about. Way to build the match guys…

Lennox goes for a suplex, Brown cradles for two. Double clothesline, both men down. Brown charges out of the corner with two clotheslines, then a short DDT after whipping Lennox off the ropes. Reversals a plenty until Lennox hits a spine buster for two. Cutter by Lennox, covers again for two. Punch exchange in the middle of the ring. Goes to the corner by Wagner hits a drop kick and then a power bomb. picks up Lennox, sets him on the top buckle and hits an enziguri to the back, then a sit out Dominator off the top for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Slyck Wagner Brown

An earlier today segment plays, Eddie is looking for his wife. Eddie finds potato salad, decides to take it. Finally finds her in the Knockout’s dressing room and offers her potato salad. Alisha calls Eddie the biggest dummy here and kicks him out.

Match Four: Rebel vs Alisha

Handshake to start, chest bumps from Rebel. Arm ringer by Alisha, Rebel just throws her across the ring and calls Alisha tiny. Waist lock, Rebel just walks her to the rope and hits an elbow. Alisha looking for a crucifix for one, backslide attempt is reversed, Rebel misses a kick on the ropes, Alisha gets a schoolgirl for two. Headlock take over by Alisha, Rebel just stands up. Rebel picks her up and plants her face first and dances over Alisha, then chokes Alisha on the second rope.

Rebel slams Alisha into the turnbuckle, then a second one, and a third. Rebel then hits a handspring clothesline, pulls out Alisha and goes for a delayed suplex, Alisha rolls her up and the roll back and fourth for a few two counts. Alisha chops, Rebel misses a few kicks, and then takes down Alisha. Shining Wizard by Rebel gets two. Alisha catches a kick and makes Rebel do the splits, hits a dropkick for two.

Alisha goes for a body scissor, Rebel grabs the hair and then face plants Alisha for two. Off the ropes, Rebel hits a roundhouse kick and celebrates. Referee checks Alisha to see if she’s knocked out, she’s not, Rebel covers for two. Rebel goes for the handspring clothesline again but Alisha moves and hits a palm strike and forearms to take down Rebel. Alisha hits a charging forearm and a bulldog for two.

Rebel hits a scoop slam, goes to the second buckle. Alisha hits the worst looking backpack stunner for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Alisha

They shake hands and hug it out after

Backstage with Eli Drake, he congratulates Alisha, and Jimmy Jacobs is sitting behind him. Jacobs wonders why he’s not on the card tonight. Eli says he will have a special Fact of Life, and Jacobs can be the guest.

Alisha backstage, says she can hang with the best of the Knockout’s Division.

Match Five: Heavenly Bodies [Desirable Dustin & Gigolo Justin] vs Team Tremendous [Detective Dan Berry & Detective Billy Carr]

Justin starts against Dan. Shoulder tackles takes down Justin and into a headlock. Forearm by Justin, punches from Dan. dropkick by Dan takes him down. Tags in Billy who chops him in the corner. Scoop slam, tags in Dan who hits a senton over the top rope for two. Knee by Justin and he tags in Dustin. Dropkick by Dan and he whips Dustin into the rope. Charges but is sent over the top, he elbows Justin, and Dustin, before Justin knocks Dan off the ring.

Cover by Dustin for 2. Dustin then throws Dan back out and Justin hits a senton off the apron. Justin tags in and rolls Dan back, cover for two. Short arm clothesline gets two again. Uppercut and he tags in Dustin who hits a leg lariat for two. Ground and pound by Dustin before Dan starts fighting back. Justin tags in, Dustin hits an arm ringer and Justin hits a moonsault off Dustin, referee is distracted, and finally counts for a one. Sanjay and Josh are talking about Josh frosting his tips here, it seems they’ve lost interest too.

Dan fights back, but can’t escape. Dan then whips Justin over the top rope, and Dan tries to tag Bill, but Dustin pulls him off the apron. Bodies double stop Dan in their corner. Justin with a scoop power bomb, go for a rocket launcher, but Dan moves. Justin stops Dan from getting a tag, then he finally does and Billy comes in like a house of fire. Exploder duplex to Justin gets two, Dustin comes off the top, Billy moves and Dustin splashes Justin.  Billy tosses both men, and Dan hits a flip topi onto the Bodies on the outside. Justin is thrown in to Billy, who tosses him with an outsiders edge to a flatliner by Dan. Referee counted to three on the pin, but says he only did two as Dustin breaks it up. Billy gets Justin up for a Doomsday Device, but Dustin tags himself in. Double flap jack on Billy, Dan fights off both men, eats a super kick from Justin and a spinning power bomb from Dustin. Billy then throws Justin in to break up the pin.

Enziguri on Dustin by Dan, Superkick by Billy, Doomsday Sliced Bread by Dan for the 1-2-3

Your Winners: Team Tremendous

From earlier today, we see Homicide, and he says he is LAX, Konnan is despicable, and the little bitches in LAX are going to learn.

The Fact of Life with Eli Drake

Eli Drake comes out. Eli has had a cord hanging down the entire time, and he stops to plug it back in mid way through his talking segment. He pulls out a smart phone to show off the mobile version of the Eli Drake Dummy Button, so we can have a live version of The Facts Of Live. The app plays “Dummy, Yeah” every time you press the screen. He then brings out “The Zombie Princess” Jimmy Jacobs.

Jimmy says tonight is about what Eli needs, as he doesn’t understand what he’s getting into when he faces Eddie Edwards. Drake says he’s insulted by this talk and says he’s out of here, and Jimmy can say and do whatever he wants. Jimmy starts running down Binghamton, and says theres got to be someone out there who needs his help. He then calls out Santana from the LAX

Santana immediately gets in Jacobs’ face, who says he’s here to help. Jacobs also said he’s heard a rumor that Ortiz got jumped by the OGz, meaning Santana is all alone tonight. Jacobs offers to help Santana in his match tonight, one OG to another. Santana looks unimpressed, shakes Jacobs’ hand, and then hits a front kick to his face and a rolling senton in the corner.

Santana then calls out Homicide to start their match.

Match six, Street Fight: Santana vs Homicide (How does this not violate the cease fire?!?!)

Punches by both to start, Santana throws out Homicide and hits a suicide dive. Punches and chops back and forth, Homicide attempts to climb the scaffolding, and Santana hits a bodyslam on the floor. Thrusts to the throat by Homicide, and he chokes Santana on a ringside chair. Homicide then gets the chair, hits Santana in the gut. Homicide then gets a stick from a fan, but gets booted in the gut. Santana then jabs the metal rod into Homicide’s face.

Santana drapes Homicide over the guardrail and slams the chair into his back. Santana then clotheslines Homicide into a fan, poke in the eye by Homicide. Homicide slams Santana into the post and gets the chair. Homicide then tells the fans to shove it, and Santana hits about to the gut and throws a chair at Homicide. Santana throws him back in the ring, goes from a cross body, Homicide rolls through and gets a two count. Moonsault by Santana gets two.

Belly to Belly throw by Homicide off the ropes, and then an exploder by Homicide, bridged in to a two count. Homicide tells fans to suck it and then flips them off before Santana hits a boot to the face in the corner. Homicide puts Santana on the top and hits a cutter off the turnbuckle, gets two before Santana gets his foot on the bottom rope. Homicide threatens the referee before he charges the corner, nobody home as Santana sidesteps. Super kick by Santana, Michinoku Driver by Santana, who goes up top and hits a frog splash for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Santana

Backstage again with Eli Drake, who’s rehydrating. Eli lists off his three favorite moments of the night, all which involve himself. Also says in Fall of 2019, Night of the Dummies 2 will have no Jimy Jacobs as theres no room for princesses on his show.

Santana backstage, says by taking out Ortiz, the OGz have made this put bull more rabid.

Match seven: Brute Vanslyke (w/Father Derek) vs Sean Carr

Collar and elbow, Brute moves Sean into the corner. Collar and elbow again, he throws Sean in this time. Misses a charge, whip out and Bruce cartwheels out. Sunset flip attempt, Brute goes to sit, Sean moves. Standing moonsault by Sean gets one. Sean calls him out, Brute charges and Sean lowers the top rope. Sean hits a rolling sexton off the apron.

Back inside, Sean goes up top, but Father Derek shakes the rope, and a big boot by Brute takes him down. Face rake and Brute chokes him in the corner. Father Derek then chokes Sean on the bottom rope. Brute with a scoop slam followed by an elbow drop for two. Backbreaker by Brute, Sean gets up into another backbreaker. Sean reverses a third into a hurricanrana, putting Brute into the corner. Chops and a charging forearm, then a popup headbutt by Brute, then a cross body for two.

Brute puts Sean on the top, Sean fights back, hits a drop kick but Brute stays up. Enziguri and a Code Breaker, Brute is still up. Sean goes up top and hits a moonsault taking Brute down for a two count. Super kick misses, Bruce hits a wind up chokeslam and gets two. Sean slips out of a Razor’s Edge, can’t whip the big man. Big splash in the corner from Brute. Vader Bomb by Brute for two.

Brute goes back up, but misses a second Vader Bomb. Carr up top, Father Derek interferes, and gets a big boot from Sean on the apron. Brute then throws in Carr, who fights off Brute until Brute hits a left arm lariat. Brute goes up top, misses the splash! Super kick by Carr, and a second, ducks a clothesline and hits a third super kick!! Carr goes up top, Swanton Bomb for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Sean Carr

Fallah Bahh and KM backstage celebrating, but Bahh is upset KM isn’t wearing his matching gear. KM says if he can’t beat Moose wearing his gear, he will wear the matching gear for the rest of his career.

Match eight: Moose vs KM

Moose gets a mic, talking about how he went to Syracuse, just down the road. Says the fans didn’t help his career and Binghamton sucks. Tells KM to hurry up so he can beat him and get out of this God forsaken town.

KM starts the “Douche” chants

Moose ducks in the corner to start. Moose hits a boot, KM hits a shoulder block taking Moose down. Then another. Punch exchange, KM gets the best of it, and clotheslines Moose over the top. Moose pulls KM out and they fight on the floor. Moose goes to chop KM against the ring post, KM ducks and Moose hits his hand.

Moose then rams KM into the post. Referee still isn’t counting…

Moose gets a chair, sits KM in it. Punches and chops, Moose flips off the crowd and hits a running kick to KM’s face in the chair. Moose puts KM back on the chair, goes for the running kick again. KM catches him with a chokeslam on the apron. Finally the referee starts counting…KM asks him to stop counting as he goes and gets Moose. Moose then hits a belly to back duplex on the apron. Moose picks up KM and drops him again on the apron before rolling back in to the ring. KM gets back in to the ring at 9.

Moose uses ground and pound on KM and throws him back out. KM back in at nine again. Stomps from Moose, a snap mare, and a seated dropkick for two. Moose calls for the finish, can’t get KM up for the suplex, so he punches him. Tries the suplex again, KM counters into one of his own. KM puts Moose in the corner, whip reversed, KM boots Moose, but is dropkicked to the floor over the top!

Moose rolls out after KM and whips him into the ring post. Moose grabs the chair again and gives it to a fan. Moose parts the crowd, and fakes like he’s throwing KM into them, but rolls him into the ring. KM hits a baseball slide, and rolls Moose back in. Moose intercepts KM on the way back in, goes off the ropes and eats a POUNCE from KM. Both men down.

Moose thrown KM on the ramp, landing on his feet, KM hits a chokeslam and a slingshot splash for two. KM hits a neck breaker on Moose, Moose reverses a full nelson for two, hits a pump kick and them KM hits a clothesline, and a fell nelson slam for two. KM misses a corner charge, Moose charges into an elbow, and the Moose hits the Go To Hell for two! Moose looks for the Spear, eats a knee. KM behind, and Moose hits a low blow, a Spear, and gets the 1-2-3

Your winner: Moose

Bound For Glory video package

KM backstage wondering what he did wrong. Bahh is in the back eating, KM asks if he’s going to rub in his lost. KM is reminded of the bet, says he was kidding

Match nine: Eli Drake vs Eddie Edwards (w/Kenny the Kendo Stick)

Eddie high fives nearly ever member of the audience (yes the arena is that small)

Eli has a mic. Names Eddie a dummy, and says theres no kendo sticks allowed in a match with him. Tells the ref he has to disqualify him if he won’t get rid of it.

Eddie slaps Eli on the butt, who then rolls out of the ring, grabs a mic and says this is his show, so there will be no “ass slapping” on his show.

Collar and elbow tie up, headlock by Eli. Eddie shoots him off, shoulder tackle by Drake takes him down. Arm drag by Eddie, and a second and Eli rolls out again. Eli has a mic again. Says he hates cheaters, and arm drags are illegal.

Collar and elbow again. Eddie walks him to the corner. Eli with a low blow, and takes Eddie to the other corner. Whip reversed and Eddie hits a belly to belly throw. Eli rolls out again as Eddie does a snow angel in the ring. Eli has a mic and says he hates cheaters, and a braggart, no snow angels are allowed in the match.

Eli reenters and leaves again. Eddie joins him and the fight on the floor. Eli thumbs Eddie’s eye to take advantage, but gets chopped again! Cameras lose both men, as the chops continue. Eli rolls in, followed by Eddie, and he rolls back out. Eli has a mic again. Hates cheaters. Chops are illegal now.

Eli keeps talking and Eddie hits a big boot, sending him to the floor. Eddie goes for a dive, Eli hits him with the mic to the head. Eli now stomps away at Eddie on the floor. Eli makes Eddie wave to a fan, and then slams him back first in to the apron. Eli rolls Eddie onto the apron and hits an elbow. Eli slingshots Eddie into the bottom rope. Seated clothesline for two. Now Eli chokes Eddie on the middle tope, leaps out and slaps Eddie’s face.

Punches from Eddie, and a thumb to Eli’s eyes. Whips Eli across but misses the splash, Eli hits a neck breaker for a two count. Eli drops a knee and chokes Eddie again on the rope. Leg drop across the back on the middle rope. Kicks and a cover for two. Eli drops some elbows and locks on a reverse chin lock. Eddie bites his thumb, Eli lets go and hits a neck breaker for two. Eli then bites Eddie’s thumb. Outside the ring, Eli gets a chair, referee threatens a DQ, Eli says he was just kidding. Eddie then smashed Eli’s face in to the ring. Eddie takes a drink of a fans soda, and spits it into the eyes of Eli. Eli then pulls Eddie face first into the ramp. Eli rolls Eddie back in, covers for one.

Eddie reverses a scoop slam, Eli hits a neck breaker for two. Eddie’s gum here falls out of his mouth, landing on the mat, and he casually picks it back up and continues to chew it, grossing out both Josh and Sonjay. Rear chin lock by Eli, Eddie counters with a jaw breaker. Back to the chin lock, Eli throws Eddie to the buckle, Eddie hits a back elbow and a dropkick, both men are down. Scoop power slam by Eli, and then an elbow drop for two.

Eli picks up Eddie, hitting a snap suplex. Eli to the second rope, Eddie hits an enziguri. Eddie goes up top, hits the Frankensteiner. Punch exchange by both men. Eli takes advantage but Eddie doesn’t feel the pain. Two back elbows and then Eddie sends Eddie to the floor and hits a quebrada. Fans chanting “use the leg” as a fan holds up his prosthetic leg. Eddie takes it. Eddie kisses the prosthetic foot (ewwwww). Eli gets a mic, saying prosthetics are illegal. Eddie hits Eli with the camera man. As the refs was checking on the camera man, Eddie hits Eli with the prosthetic leg, then pretends its his in the ring before giving it back.

Both men back in, Eddie tries a Tiger Driver, hits a gordbuster, then hits the Tiger Driver for two and 3/4!!! Eddie then talks to his kendo stick before picking it up. Referee tries to stop Eddie, fans chant “hit the ref.” Eddie goes up, Eli hits the ref into the ropes dropping Eddie. Eli gets a chair, referee stops him, Eli shoves him down. Eddie hits Eli with the kendo stick and hits a DDT, covers Eli for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Eddie Edwards

Eddie then does a snow angel in the ring to celebrate

Eddie celebrates with the Xcite Wrestling crowd as we go off the air.

THAT’S ALL SHE WROTE!

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Coverage

Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

https://x.com/i/status/1816647373654724937

The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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Andrew’s TNA Slammiversary Results & Match Ratings: 7.20.2024

TNA’s second biggest show is sold out in Montreal! PCO and Speedball Mike Bailey are mostly the home town boys. Will they get the wins?

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Well things came up on Thursday where I didn’t cover the show, and with the lame build to Slammiversary, I wasn’t really upset. Apparently the event is sold out though, and the largest live crowd in over a decade; so that’s nice. Countdown to Slammiversary had Faby Apache in a 4 Way that was won by the worst person in the match (Tasha Steelz), Kushida gone full Hakushi, came out in the kanji tattoos and even doing some classic Hakushi moves…so Jinsei Shinzaki would be proud. DeMALISH retained the Knockouts Tags and Hammerstone returned just to lose to Eric Young right at the end of the Countdown.

So yeah, the Countdown is a microcosm of TNA since firing Scott, a few cool things and a whole lot of questionable booking. Let’s see if this show makes sense and Joe Hendry leaves as new World Heavyweight Champion!

Ratings:

  • Matt Hardy vs JDC: Hardy wins via Hanging Twist of Fate – ** 1/2
  • World Tag Team Championship: The System (Brian Myers & Eddie Edwards) (c) vs The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): ABC wins via 1-2-Sweet – *** 1/4 – TITLE CHANGE!!!
  • Mike Santana vs Jake Something: Santana wins via Spin the Block – **
  • The Rascalz (Zachary Wentz, Trey Miguel and Wes Lee) vs No Quarter Catch Crew (Charlie Dempsey, Tavion Heights & Myles Borne): Rascalz wins via Hot Fire Flame – **** 1/4
  • TNA Digital Media Championship & International Heavyweight Championship Match: AJ Francis (c) w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs PCO: PCO wins via PCO-sault – *** 1/2 – TITLES CHANGE!!!!!
  • TNA Knockouts Championship: Jordynne Grace (c) vs ASH by Elegance w/Personal Concierge:  Jordynne retains via Juggernaut Driver – ****
  • X Division Championship: Mustafa Ali (c) w/Campaign Singh vs Speedball Mike Bailey: Bailey wins via Sharpshooter & Earl Hebner – **** – TITLE CHANGE!!!
  • TNA World Heavyweight Championship 6-Way Elimination Match: Moose (c) vs Josh Alexander vs Steve Maclin vs Frankie Kazarian vs Joe Hendry vs Nic Nemeth: Nemeth wins via Danger Zone – *** 1/2 – TITLE CHANGE!!!

 

Results:

Matt Hardy vs JDC

JDC walks out with an American flag in hand and American Flag pants, since the show is in Montreal. Matt attacks JDC before the bell, so JDC uses the flag as a weapon and the referee tries to stop him, but since the match didn’t start yet, he can’t really do anything. In the ring, the match officially starts and JDC focuses on the ribs. Sending Matt chest first into the corners, draping him over the ropes, a few stomps to the midsection, and going for old classic heel psychology. Abdominal Stretch, a few pot shots, drapes Matt halfway onto the apron and JDC gets cocky. Goes for his Down and Dirty Leg Drop, but Matt moves. Finally getting in some offense, he pulls JDC into the ring, does the Delete Head Smashes into the buckles, Snap Suplex, Extreme Elbow from the corner! Looks for Twist of Fate, JDC pushes off and into the Side Effect for 2!

Twist again, but JDC rolls with it to counter, Twisting Falcon Arrow! Down and Dirty attempt 2, but Matt crotches him and does a Hanging Twist of Fate off the top turnbuckle! Matt Hardy wins!

Post-Match, he hits two more Twist of Fates on JDC to make a point.

World Tag Team Championship: The System (Brian Myers & Eddie Edwards) (c) vs The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

ABC rocks and rolls early, some fun tandem MCMG style moves and then even a really nice Hart Attack! Myers manages to finally just muscle Bey into his corner and Eddie and Myers smash Bey a few times in the corner to take the wind out of the ABC sails. Alisha cheats a little, Myers and Eddie go to continue the punishment on Bey but he rolls under the move and hits the hot tag for Ace! Double Dumping out The System guys, Bey with a nice Tope con Hilo to wipe out The System. Lish distracts Ace long enough for Eddie to pick his ankle in mid high spot and his face bounces off the apron.

Ace tries to fight his corner, Myers Gator Roll to keep ABC sectioned off and hits his Raven pose before getting back on Ace. Eddie tags in and stays on Ace, Ace nearly gets out of things, but Eddie does a good job corralling him, tagging Myers back in, and Myers goes for the Chinlock to stall. Ace tries a rope run, Myers does his Baseball Slide trip, Assisted Catapult into the middle rope from The System, and it does look nasty. The referee stops Lish from interfering a second time, Eddie keeps slowing down Ace, and Ace tries to go for the rush of adrenaline tag, but Myers distracts the referee and the ref never sees the tag. So Eddie gets control, tags out to Myers and Myers goes for more submissions to wear down the more athletic Ace. Roster Cut attempt, but Ace back pedals, does his lay between the ropes corner dodge, connects on a Triangle kick and now they make simultaneous tags! Bey clears house, Moonsault, into Wrecking Ball Dropkick, Bey goes for another Tope, but Lish climbs the apron and just gets in the way.

Bey chases Lish, Eddie connects with a chop, Myers tries to keep going, but Bey stops him, Eddie goes to trip, Ace comes into play with the apron hand stand shenanigans and kick to Eddie, Myers wants an Apron Spear, but Ace sees it coming, Front Flips back into the ring and Bey connects with a gorgeous Cutter! Ace hits the Fosbury Flop on Eddie, and ABC is cookin with gas! Myers rolls back in, Bey hits the Splash, for 2. Tandem attacks from everyone, System tries the System Overload, but ABC breaks it apart, Spinning heel kick takes Eddie out of the picture, Magic Killer on Myers! They go for 1-2-SWEET but Myers moves and Bey collides with Alisha! In the chaos, Double Art of Finesse on the System members, 1-2-SWEET complete on Myers, and new champions The ABC!

Mike Santana vs Jake Something

The set up for this is awful. Two guys who lost during the qualifiers, look for a chance at “momentum’. So essentially, whoever loses this, is a dweeb who has the least reason to be near the main event. It’s like a 3rd place match in any single elimination tournament. Who wants to be the dork that loses twice?

A little World of Sport start, the ole Shoulder Tackle attempt from the smaller guy, so Jake starts to run him over to prove his power. Santana powders after being knocked out of the sky from a Thesz Press attempt and Jake Dives on him. Jake throws Santana back in, Santana connects on a Wrecking Ball Dropkick and follows that with an Escalara! Jake gets thrown back in, Santana tries to keep Jake down, but Jake finds different ways to fight back to his feet and Santana tries to keep the bigger man on the receiving end. Jake does manage to finally find a burst of power, shoves Santana into the corner and begins to stomp a mudhole in him. Snapping Suplex from Jake for 2, and the crowd seems to be in Santana’s corner. Jake goes for a few charges, but meets Santana’s feet, Up and Over, Enzuigiri, rope shenanigans into Rolling Buck Fifty for a 2 count! Goes back to the well for the Rolling Buck Fifty again, but Jake dodges, Jake tries to jump over him, but Santana catches him on his shoulders, Outline in Chalk! Dumb misstep where Santana posts up in the “wrong corner” so visibly runs across to the other corner for his John Woo Dropkick, into Cannonball. Cannonball attempt 2, but Jake catches him, Deadlifts him twice and finally punctuates with a Sitout Powerbomb. Jake goes to the top rope, but Santana cuts him off, Avalanche German and then they go into a weird Fighting Spirit spot.

Spin the Block ends things after Jake kicked out at 1 from the previous exchange. Too much dumb indie stuff and the corner swap looked beyond stupid.

The Rascalz (Zachary Wentz, Trey Miguel and Wes Lee) vs No Quarter Catch Crew (Charlie Dempsey, Tavion Heights & Myles Borne)

Smoke ’em if you got ’em. 

Rascalz come out in full Buzz Lightyear gear. Myles starts off with Trey, mostly just Trey finding cute quick counters and dodging. Myles tags out to Charlie, Trey tags to Dez. Charlie and Dez go more World of Sport, and Charlie is on the losing end of a Wheelbarrow Body Scissors taunt, then a Spinning Head Scissors, tag to Wentz and Bronco Buster shenanigans! Tavion comes in and shakes off Wentz, Wentz tries to get cute but Tavion with the release Belly to Back, Pop-up Frankensteiner attempt from Wentz, but just caught and countered into a Gutwrech Side Suplex. Charlie gets tagged in, and works over Wentz. Another Gutwrench into a high Hammerlock. Charlie tries to take out The Rascalz, but they see it coming and drop, Charlie then goes after Wentz, but he uses his speed to get passed Charlie and tags in Trey.

Heights distracts the referee, Borne shoves Trey off the ropes into Charlie’s arms for a release Capture Suplex. Charlie connects on a Saito Backbreaker and then tags in Heights, who turns Trey inside out. Tavion is just throwing his power around, tags in Borne for an Assisted Backbreaker. Borne connects with a sick looking Snap Powerslam into the corner and Trey hits the ropes nasty. Tavion comes back in and throws haymakers. Tavion throws one Haymaker, but Trey Matrix Dodges and Tavion loses his balance, so Trey connects on an Eddy Gordo kick and tags in Dez. Dez does well, until he tries to call for Wentz and the numbers catch up to the currently wounded Rascalz. NQCC triple team Dez and he gets worked over hard. Dez tags in Trey and Wentz comes in too to clean house. Lightning Spiral attempt from Trey on Charlie, but Charlie counters with Dragon Suplex Hold, and Dez hits the Frog Splash to break the pin! NQCC powders, Wentz goes for the Diving Crossbody and they catch him, so Dez comes over for the Tope con Hilo and takes out the pile! Trey goes for an Asai Moonsault on Charlie but Charlie catches him into a Cravat Keylock, then there’s a submission spot where all the NQCC is in control, but the Rascalz eventually counter out and the bodies hit the floor.

Cheeky Nandos, High Post 619, Soup Kitchen, HOT FIRE FLAME! Our Rascalz win the match!

TNA Digital Media Championship & International Heavyweight Championship Match: AJ Francis (c) w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs PCO

AJ and crew come out saying PCO won’t make it because they beat his ass, but it looks like Destro was lurking in the background. So just when they think they get a free pay day…a coffin, monks, Destro, doctors, and a body descends from the sky! Destro and the jumper cables return, and so DOES PCO! PCO even gets his own French entrance, probably from Handsome JF. 

Since its a Montreal Street Fight, AJ attacks with a chair, but PCO absorbs the shots, punches the chair back in his face, Lariats him to the outside, Cannonball to the outside! PCO hits the Deanimator on AJ, and Rich runs over to try and help his buddy. PCO-sault to the outside and wipes out both Rich and AJ. Rich gets in the way, sets up two tables and they look to put PCO through the tables. PCO fights back, takes out both AJ and Rich. AJ makes some space, goes under the ring and tries to find more weapons. So AJ is beating the hell out of PCO with Chairs and Trash Cans, hits his goofy Tennessee Whiskey knee and when he finishes his move, his left leg clips one of the tables and it just looks silly. That would’ve been a hilarious ending to a potential tables match.

AJ is getting furstrated at PCO not staying down, tries to just throw him through the tables, but PCO fights back. PCO levels AJ with a few big shots, goes for the PCO-sault, but AJ puts him in the Electric Chair and drops him into the pile of chairs…only for 2! AJ goes to the top and PCO cuts him off and throws him through the two tables, and the tables explode. PCO needs to tie his shoe first, and Josh Bishop attacks PCO with multiple Chairshots. Sami Callihan shows up, Rich gets the best of him, goes to take out his face with a baseball bat, Rhyno hits the ring and Gores Rich. PCO slides AJ back in, PCO-sault, but AJ kicks out! PCO sets up chairs, AJ claws his eyes, hits a Tombstone with the Undertaker pose, but PCO kicks out. AJ Chokeslam countered by PCO Chokeslam into the chairs! PCO-sault again! PCO WINS!

Steph De Lander comes out dressed as Wednesday, and proposes to PCO! He literally says “Oui”. 

TNA Knockouts Championship: Jordynne Grace (c) vs ASH by Elegance w/Personal Concierge

ASH goes for an early Roll-Up attempt, but Jordynne kicks out and they mostly feel each other out until Jordynne knocks her down with a Shoulder Tackle, Inside Out Side Slam, ASH tries to avoid in the corner, but Jordynne keeps on her, connects with a Spinebuster for a near fall. The concierge grabs Jordynne’s foot and the referee sees, but Rosemary was in the crowd again, and she comes out to run off the Concierge with a KNIFE! In all of the distraction, Jordynne gets tripped up in the ropes and planted on the outside. ASH tries a Piledriver or Powerbomb on the apron, but Jordynne won’t go, so ASH just hits a Neckbreaker over the top rope. Jordynne tries to fight off, goes for a Corner Leap Frog, but ASH doesn’t feed into it, Jordynne looks confused and ASH hits the Backstabber. ASH tries to turn it into a Sleeper but Jordynne eventually counters with the old Fall Down on the other person. Two labored Scoop Slams send ASH retreating to the corner, Spinning Backfist rocks ASH, Kanniku Buster for 2!

Jordynne catches ASH off the ropes, but ASH turns it into a Satellite DDT for 2! ASH goes for a Suplex, but Jordynne stops it, and then crotches ASH on the top followed by a big Bear Claw Palm Strike. Headbutts from Jordynne have ASH looking bad on top, Stalling Superplex float into Jackhammer…for 2! ASH tries to fight back, but Jordynne lifts her foot and Thesz Press on ASH’s back to just rain down strikes. Juggernaut Driver…NO STUNDOG MILLIONAIRE, into a Canadian Destroyer! Rarefied Air attempt, but Jordynne gets the knees up. Both try to set up things, but ASH hits the Flipping Neckbreaker. ASH goes to try Rarefied Air again, but Jordynne cuts her off. Jordynne tries to pull her face off, ASH bites Jordynne and hits the AVALANCHE SHIRANUI! But Jordynne manages to barely kick out. ASH gets frustrated and peppers some punches and a Senton onto Jordynne’s back and looks for a Half Crab but Jordynne fights out and snatches her real quick into a Rear Naked Choke, but ASH counters into a pin to break the submission. Strike exchange, Jordynne tries a Powerbomb but countered, Juggernaut Driver countered into a Small Package, Pop-Up Spinning Backfist from Jordynne. Kudome Valentine attempt but ASH counters and rolls through it, ASH goes for a kick, Jordynne holds wrist control and connects with the Juggernaut Driver to retain!

X Division Championship: Mustafa Ali (c) w/Campaign Singh vs Speedball Mike Bailey

Ali gets an early Headscissors counter and mockingly does the Crane Pose, and then Speedball kicks him in the damn chest. A little back and forth, Speedball with the Snapmare into a PK between the Shoulder Blades. Speedball let’s him get up, chases him to the corner and out with the Tornado Kick, Ali taunts the all his kicks missed, so Speedball toys with him from the extended Side Kick position. Campaign Singh gets on the apron to distract, so Ali takes advantage. The match becomes more back and forth, Bell Clap from Ali, evasive maneauvers from everyone  but a Wrecking Ball Headscissors into a Triangle Moonsault give Speedball the advantage and he goes to give his wife Veda Scott a kiss, then gets a little distracted with Campaign Singh and security so Mustafa connects with an opportunistic Tornado DDT.

Ali taunts a kiss towards Veda, Rolling Neckbreaker back inside gives Ali a near fall. Ali sinks in a Kneeling Bow and Arrow, the crowd tries to cheer on Speedball, and Speedball is getting a few potshots, but Ali has Speedball in a Gory Backbreaker that he transitions into a Gory Flatliner. Crowd hates Ali, Ali taunts and goes for a delayed 450, but misses, Speedball rushes and misses, Ali tries a Springboard return but Speedball’s educated feet even the playing field. Sole Butt, into Axe Kick, Round Kick to the Chest, Running Shooting Star misses, Ali goes for a Brainbuster but Speedball counters, Falcon Arrow, pops up top, SHOOTING STAR PRESS for 2. Ali powders to the apron, Speedball tries the Double Knees to the chest, but misses on the apron and eats a Thrust Kick to the face for his troubles. Ali goes to the top, Speedball cuts him off, Spanish Fly into Campaign Singh and the security!

Back and forth, Ali Dives, Speedball jumps over it and connects with the Asai Moonsault! Speedball tries Ultima Weapon but Ali catches him with a Rising Knee, Stuffed Dropkick into a Blue Tunder GTS for 2! Ali tries to end things, 450, MISSED! Speedball goes for Ultima Weapon but Ali kicks the ropes to stop him, Avalanche Poison Rana from Speedball! ULTIMA WEAPON!! BUT NOOO Ali’s foot was on the ropes! Speedball’s music even plays for a moment, he tries another cover, Ali kicks out and Crucifix counter for 2! Speedball with a Thrush Kick but Ali ducks and the referee eats the kick! Security and Campaign Singh get involved, belt shot, hold Speedball for the 450! Referee is still dead, another 450! The shove the referee into position and one of the riot gear security pulls out the referee! It was Trent Seven all along!

Seven takes out Campaign and the other security, Mustafa hits the Dive on Seven and takes a chair to the already damaged leg! Chairshot on Speedball and Ali calls to the back and summons, EARL HEBNER! Sharpshooter one Speedball, Hebner is conflicted on doing the right thing or Screw Job 2.0. Speedball Spin Kicks the chair out of Mustafa’s hands it legit clips Hebner and he takes a bump, SPEEDBALL WITH THE SHARPSHOOTER! Ali taps! Speedball wins!

TNA World Heavyweight Championship 6-Way Elimination Match: Moose (c) vs Josh Alexander vs Steve Maclin vs Frankie Kazarian vs Joe Hendry vs Nic Nemeth

Moose has the American National Anthem instrumental snippet before his entrance music. They really steered into the…OH MY GOD HE’S IN A COWBOY HAT! MOOSEQUENCES CREED!

Moose tried to strategize with Kaz, but Kaz bails and everyone beats on Moose until Kaz comes back in and they stop and gang up on Kaz. In typical multi-person fashion, lots of early fall down and pair off stuff. Hendry hits a Stalling Suplex on both Kaz and Moose, the babyfaces are cutting each other off but not taking shortcuts. Hendry Trust Falls Nemeth into Moose and Kaz goes for a Roll-Up, but only for 2! Kaz, Maclin and Josh are in, but Maclin and Josh team up on Kaz. Josh with the Backbreaker set up, Maclin shrugs and accepts the assist on the King Kong Knee Drop. Josh then hits German Suplexes on everyone, but hits 10 Count Locomotion Germans on Maclin in particular, the last on has the bridge, but only for 2! Kaz tries to take the opportunistic moment, but Josh counters, Kaz grabs Nemeth and Josh Double Suplexes the both of them. Before Josh and Hendry go at it, Moose hits a Bicycle Kick on Josh and tries to pick apart Nemeth. Headbutt from Nemeth, Neckbreaker, Dropkick on Josh, and then the 10 Count Elbows from Nemeth but Moose powders at 9, so Nemeth follows him out just to hit 10 on the outside.

Kaz goes after everyone, Slingshot Cutters for all, Moose tries to stop Kaz’s momentum, goes for his Escalara Crossbody but eats the Cutter for 2! Kaz tries the Chicken Wing on Hendry, goes to the corner for a Crossbody but Hendry just moves to the side Samoa Joe style. SCUDs for everyone from Maclin until Josh catches him, Maclin puts him in the Tree of Woe, Nemeth tries to stop Maclin, Tree of Woe Nemeth. CAUGHT IN CROSSHAIRS on Josh, tries for Nemeth but Nemeth dodges and Maclin flies through and hits Moose. Maclin back in, Busaiku Knee on Nemeth, Kaz in the Tree of Woe, Caught in the Crosshairs connects, KIA but intercepted with Lights Out from Moose! MACLIN ELIMINATED!

Moose is throttling everyone, Kaz tries an alliance, Moose feigns acceptance but hits an Uranage on Kaz instead of a handshake. Hendry fights out of the corner, but Moose hits the hard Irish Whips. Moose misses the Spear into the corner, STANDING OVA-NO! Jacknife Powerbomb causes Hendry to powder, Nemeth tries a Fame-Asser but Moose counters into a Buckle Bomb. Josh gets propped up, eats the Okada Dropkick into a Superplex, transitioned into a Jacknife Powerbomb for 2 after a small slip from Moose. Kaz Low Bridge on Moose, tries the Diving Frankensteiner, but it gets turned into an Apron Bomb. Moose eats the Superkick, Nemeth eats a Cutter from Hendry, Josh with his Low Crossbody Dive on Kaz. Everyone is fighting on the ramp.

A lot of brawling, teasing a move off the stage into a table, Nemeth is wobbling, Kaz gets Superkicked by Nemeth off the stage through that table! Moose drags the other three back to the ring, Josh tries to fight back, Uranage for Josh, Uranage for Nic into Josh. Joe rises up from the outside as Moose is distracted, hits a Cutter! Only a 2, Josh tries the C4 Spike, SACK OF SHIT into the Kip Up, catches Nemeth mid Crossbody, SACK OF SHIT into Kip Up! Moose is posted in the corner, Splash into SACK OF SHIT followed by the Kip Up! The crowd is reacting well to Joe but then Moose Kips Up, LIGHTS OUT on Josh and Nemeth but no pinfall! Moose eyes Hendry, Hendry counters the Spear into a Roll-Up, locomotion roll throughs Frakensteiner from Joe into a Lariat leveling Moose, STANDING OVATION on MOOSE! MOOSE ELIMINATED! Hendry goes for the Standing Ovation on Josh, but Josh with a LOW BLOW? C4 Spike! HENDRY ELIMINATED! Canadian crowd is raining down “bullshit” at Josh and booing hard.

The referee tells Josh to stop beating on Joe, he’s been eliminated, and Josh goes after the referee. Nemeth tries to save the referee but Josh kicks the bad knee, Power Breaker from Josh and Nic is reeling. Josh’s keeps pointing at himself saying he’s “the heart and soul, no one else deserves it more than him”. Josh blocks the Danger Zone and connects with a Rack Bomb. Josh with a Kneeling Arm Bar, but Nemeth is fighting back. C4 block, Superkick block, C4 Countered Headbutt into Superkick! JOSH ALEXANDER ELIMINATED! Fade to black from Kaz! But Nemeth kicks out at 2! Superkick block, Chicken Wing from Kaz! Nemeth turns it into a Pinfall, Kaz pushes off the DDT, eats a Superkick! But only 2! Danger Zone blocked, Double Legged Cradle but only 2. Backstabber from Kaz, Superkick from Nemeth into Danger Zone! KAZ ELIMINATED! 

Overall Score: 6/10

Let me lead off with a few things, firstly, all the major titles are on babyfaces…that is awful. We all know that money is in the babyface chasing, not the heel chasing. So you give Josh a big heel turn with eliminating Hendry just to have him lose instead of being literally the most hated person in wrestling. I can only see this working IF there are plans to team him back up with Ethan Page but didn’t want both to be champion at the same time. The North/Monster Mafia as the main champs is a weird predicament, sure. But really, why even turn Josh that way, at that time? One could say that Hendry is so over right now, that he doesn’t need the belt…sure but; TNA isn’t over right now and could benefit from having him on top.

A bunch of matches were overbooked yet somewhat entertaining, like the PCO match or Ali match. Kushida randomly coming out with the Jinsei Shinzaki/Hakushi homage was cool, but would’ve been better if it got tied into the Octopus storyline. Having Faby Apache show up to remind people there’s a AAA agreement, just to have Tasha Steelz win, when she’s done literally nothing. I don’t get it. Gisele has been getting a little momentum, Xia had a few good showings and was relevant on TV, Tasha is irrelevant and Faby is a legend. The booking undermines some of the interesting beats.

ASH had a great match with Jordynne. Rascalz were match of the night. Jake Something is a fucking joke at this point. Matt Hardy vs JDC had no business on a main card, it didn’t start anything off hot, it was an undercard squash essentially. That should’ve been on Countdown and Hammerstone’s return should’ve kicked off the show. There was just a lot of mediocrity, marred by overbooking or questionable finishes. I really want to see how quickly some of these babyfaces drop their titles, because this is stupid business.


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