Entertainment

Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News! (9/22/20)

Wrestlers confront the King of Hyrule!

Published

5 years ago

September 22, 2020

Steven Mitchell

HPW Media has its eyes on the General Manager’s office!

We know that Hyrule Puro-Resu is heading for a Clash of Fates in October, but not everyone is excited about the news! Who takes it up with King Nicolas?

Ghirahim storms up to King Nicolas’ office.

Ghirahim shouts “What is the meaning of this?!” before King Nicolas Foolyere even looks up from his desk. Nicolas tells him to calm down and explain what he means. What does Ghirahim have to explain!? He wants to be in the Hyrule Warriors match! Why isn’t he in the Hyrule Warriors match!? Because there’s still the controversy in the match from Gerudo Canyon. Ghirahim and Igos du Ikana ended up in a double cover, Igos brought in a new title, it’s hard to figure that scenario out.

Then why did HPW take both of them out of the match? Well, it was agreed that wrestlers who were already champions didn’t need to be in a match like the Hyrule Warriors match. The match is about giving everyone else on the HPW roster an opportunity. But if Ghirahim wants to make things easier for everyone, he can give up his claim to a championship and let Igos reign. Nicolas holds out his hand for the Exquisite Championship belt, but Ghirahim grimaces as he looks at it. Ghirahim refuses to let “that half eaten chicken leg” be champion with that unseemly belt! Then he can’t be in the Hyrule Warriors match.

Ghirahim seethes but reluctantly accepts. But he also wants a decision on what to do about the championships! Nicolas assures Ghirahim that management is discussing it as he speaks. Ghirahim leaves, but what will that decision be?

Now the Dark Forces visit King Nicolas.

They enter peacefully, but the tension is palpable. It’s audible in how they greet each other. Cia says she will do her best to stay calm as she asks him questions. First, why did he get involved with the Trios Contenders Tournament? “‘Get involved?’ I prevented your team from violating the rules of how wrestlers are to treat officials.” She shouldn’t have even had to ask that question. Cia concedes that point, and asks her second question. “What the hell was that with Midna?!” So much for staying calm.

What are those Fused Shadow things? What kind of magic was that that turned her into that leggy redhead? Cia knows magic, she’s the Sorceress. She brings out an Ace of Spades playing card from thin air then makes it burst into flames. But she has NO idea what Midna did, but it isn’t fair. For all anyone knows, Midna switched places with someone and that someone wrestled for her to win the Goddess Championship. King Nicolas assures Cia that Midna did not find someone to wrestle for her. There was no one in the backstage area or near the stage that shouldn’t have been. It may have been a surprise, but it was Midna through and through wrestling Cia. How can they be sure about that?!

There’s a knock on the office door. King Nicolas asks, “Who is it?” “It’s Midna.” Cia immediately opens the door, looking down for the short imp, but instead is looking at the stomach of the tall Twili. Midna is pleasantly surprised to see Cia here. “Let me guess: complaining about my transformation?” Midna tells Cia that Midna is Midna and Cia lost fair and square. Midna asks King Nicolas if the belt technician is here to switch the side plates back to hers. They are so Midna can go see them right away. Midna thanks King Nicolas, and then grins that same sinister grin at Cia. Cia can’t deny that as proof this is still the same tiny Midna she cheated on Treasure Island. Will anyone be able to dethrone this new, more powerful Twilight Princess?

My Thoughts:

This article was to obviously tie up some loose ends from yesterday’s “press conference.” Just some good character work for Ghirahim and Cia with moderate story progression. Ghirahim and Igos still have a lot on their end to do and I really am trying to come up with a good decision on the midcard title situation. Cia and the Dark Forces are eligible for the Hyrule Warriors match, since none of them are champions now. It’s a matter of the shuffle how that works out for them, though.

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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (5/23/25)

What’s with all the glowing?

Published

2 days ago

May 23, 2025

Steven Mitchell

HPW Investigates: The Glowing Aura Phenomenon…

Riju, Sidon, Thunderbird, Donny B. Kool, Yunobo. Five stars of HPW have had powerful performances, but there’s something more to it… What is the reason behind this modern mystery? And could there be another?

Reviewing the timeline of events…

March 21st, the Triforce Tournament Bracket Finals

As the Gerudo Sisterhood was settling its grudge, Riju fought as hard as she could as the massive underdog against the Dame of the Dunes. Riju would survive heavy impact, begin to glow as she made her comeback, but Shabonne made sure she would lose the match. On that same night, we would see Sidon and Thunderbird each have their own moment where, after surviving heavy damage, they would begin to glow and make their comebacks. From there, Sidon and Thunderbird would win their way into the Triforce Tournament Finals at the Triforce Annivesary show.

April 1st, The Triforce Anniversary

Not only would we see Sidon & Thunderbird each bring out that same glowing energy, but Donny B. Kool would bring out that same phenomenon during the 21 Person Battle Royal. Donny held his own, but with that many opponents, winning was unlikely, and he was eliminated fifth-to-last.

May 1st, Wrestling Is Life

Yunobo won that 21 Person Battle Royal in April, and made his challenge for the HPW Death Mountain Championship. Igos du Ikana was as sharp as ever, but both men pushed each other to their limits. Yunobo powered through submissions and sharp strikes, bringing about the glowing aura, but Igos still won the match and retained the title.

So what might this all mean?

Five stars have been seen with glowing auras during the emotional heights of these matches. Or perhaps, the glowing auras are the results of these emotional heights? Could they be brought about by the “fighting spirit” within each one and in turn bring out new strength and energy? Each one of the five certainly seemed to “dig down deep” and fight like they were rising above mortal expectations.

Another detail that must be considered is the number of people who have presented this glowing aura phenomenon. Five people, with no connections between them: Riju the Gerudo; Sidon the Zora; Thunderbird the Ruto; Donny B. Kool the Gero; and Yunobo the Goron. Granted, they’re all young, and certainly leading this new generation forward. But the number itself is a point of focus. Needless to say that in Hyrule, three is the magic number, originating with the Triforce of legend. Therefore, multiples of three are also important. Five recorded phenomena, could this be a breaking of the norm? Or could there be a sixth?

Images flash on screen of the many faces on the HPW roster. Who could it be that enters the GAP?

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Bandwagon Nerds

Bandwagon Nerds #289: The Rest of Us

The Nerds discuss trailers for Ironheart and Superman, talk about the greatness that was Andor Season 2, break down casting news, and much more!

Published

7 days ago

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PC Tunney

This week, the Bandwagon takes a limited, but massively important, trip to the Trailer Park as we got the first trailer for Ironheart and the first full trailer for James Gunn’s Superman. What did the guys think of them, and how are they feeling about the way summer is shaping up as a possible resurgence in great superhero movies? Speaking of great, Andor Season 2 concluded this week. Patrick and Dave have made it known to all just how much they love the show, and they offer a mini-review of what made Season 2 so great… and how it makes watching Rogue One again a completely new experience. We also have casting news for the Buffy the Vampire Slayer reboot, as well as some surprise choices for the upcoming John Madden movie. All that plus, Max is going back to its roots, Christopher Nolan continues to innovate the movie industry, Jessica Jones is heading to the MCU, and VFX workers take a big step towards unionizing.

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