Entertainment

Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News! (9/26/20)

HPW goes all the way to Ikana!

Published

5 years ago

September 26, 2020

Steven Mitchell

The Ikana Royal Family trains, but for what?

The issues between Ghirahim and Igos du Ikana have not been settled, and HPW hasn’t made a decision! HPW Media went all the way to the border of Termina and Hyrule, to the territory of Ikana, to see how the Ruler of Ruin is handling this.

Igos du Ikana has a ring in the Ikana mountain range.

HPW Media cameras watch as Stal-Kid runs at Igos. Igos side steps him, Sir Hurr comes in but Igos CHOPS him! Sir Durr leap frogs Hurr to land in front of Igos, but Igos counter punches him. Stal-Kid comes back, hops up onto Igos’ shoulders but Igos throws him at Hurr and Durr. They catch Stal-Kid, throw him back to Igos for a wheelbarrow and STUNNER! Igos staggers, Hurr and Durr run at Igos but Igos boots through the double clothesline. Igos spins, Durr ducks and Hurr takes the ELEGY OF EMPTINESS! Durr is busy looking at Hurr on the mat and Igos ROUNDHOUSES him! Stal-Kid flips up and over Igos, but Igos blocks the throwback stunner into a half nelson! Igos spins and snapmares Stal-Kid to KICK him in the back!

A bell rings and it’s Captain Keeta. He says the time is up. Igos helps Stal-Kid up and pats him on the shoulder. Sir Hurr and Sir Durr shake out the cobwebs as they get up, and Igos pats them on the shoulder, too. Stal-Kid holds the ropes open for interviewer Irene to get in the ring. Irene notes this was a rather heated training session, but Igos says this was actually rather light. Irene asks why they’re training like this at all. Igos knows the old saying, “Iron sharpens iron.” They can only stay so sharp sitting around waiting for HPW to decide when and where Igos and Ghirahim will fight again, to determine whose title is officially recognized.

“The preening peacock in the spandex onesie is making a mockery of championship belts.” An argyle pattern? Star shaped side plates? His own face for THE face plate? “How twisted is the mind that makes such a thing?” Captain Keeta brings Igos the belt of Termina Championship Wrestling to show to the camera.

HyruleProWrestling TerminaChampionship

“The TCW Championship belt is a belt of tradition, culture and respect.” Not only did the belt represent something to Termina Championship Wrestling, but everything on the belt represented something. The face plate is inspired by the clock tower found in Clock Town, the very heart of the country. The side plates have the sun and the moon, found as part of the clock. The clock has 12, 3, 6 and 9 highlighted not because of quarter hours, but because of the Four Giants of legend, “the silent guardians of the land.” The TCW Championship belt represents the land of Termina and the people of Termina. “All Ghirahim’s belt represents is his overinflated ego!”

Ghirahim can huff and puff all he wants, but he cheated to retain the first time, and was fortunate enough to have a draw the second. “The third time will not be a charm but a curse, and I will poke that ego and watch Ghirahim burst like a bubble.” HPW just needs to give him a time and a place. Igos thanks Irene and company for coming all this way. “Now if you’ll excuse us, we need to keep training.” Irene thanks Igos for this time and exits the ring. Will Igos have a razor’s edge by the time he and Ghirahim have their third round?

My Thoughts:

Something about Igos and his team training each other with passion and aggression just makes sense to me. And they don’t really want to train with the other wrestlers at the Training Center in Zora Domain, they’d rather be in Ikana, Termina, which is their home. My way of writing Igos, I was trying to picture Aleister Black but I think I also put some Brodie Lee in there. And with Clash of Fates announced, I suppose I could figure something out for the rivalry of Igos and Ghirahim.

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Entertainment

Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (5/23/25)

What’s with all the glowing?

Published

8 hours ago

May 23, 2025

Steven Mitchell

HPW Investigates: The Glowing Aura Phenomenon…

Riju, Sidon, Thunderbird, Donny B. Kool, Yunobo. Five stars of HPW have had powerful performances, but there’s something more to it… What is the reason behind this modern mystery? And could there be another?

Reviewing the timeline of events…

March 21st, the Triforce Tournament Bracket Finals

As the Gerudo Sisterhood was settling its grudge, Riju fought as hard as she could as the massive underdog against the Dame of the Dunes. Riju would survive heavy impact, begin to glow as she made her comeback, but Shabonne made sure she would lose the match. On that same night, we would see Sidon and Thunderbird each have their own moment where, after surviving heavy damage, they would begin to glow and make their comebacks. From there, Sidon and Thunderbird would win their way into the Triforce Tournament Finals at the Triforce Annivesary show.

April 1st, The Triforce Anniversary

Not only would we see Sidon & Thunderbird each bring out that same glowing energy, but Donny B. Kool would bring out that same phenomenon during the 21 Person Battle Royal. Donny held his own, but with that many opponents, winning was unlikely, and he was eliminated fifth-to-last.

May 1st, Wrestling Is Life

Yunobo won that 21 Person Battle Royal in April, and made his challenge for the HPW Death Mountain Championship. Igos du Ikana was as sharp as ever, but both men pushed each other to their limits. Yunobo powered through submissions and sharp strikes, bringing about the glowing aura, but Igos still won the match and retained the title.

So what might this all mean?

Five stars have been seen with glowing auras during the emotional heights of these matches. Or perhaps, the glowing auras are the results of these emotional heights? Could they be brought about by the “fighting spirit” within each one and in turn bring out new strength and energy? Each one of the five certainly seemed to “dig down deep” and fight like they were rising above mortal expectations.

Another detail that must be considered is the number of people who have presented this glowing aura phenomenon. Five people, with no connections between them: Riju the Gerudo; Sidon the Zora; Thunderbird the Ruto; Donny B. Kool the Gero; and Yunobo the Goron. Granted, they’re all young, and certainly leading this new generation forward. But the number itself is a point of focus. Needless to say that in Hyrule, three is the magic number, originating with the Triforce of legend. Therefore, multiples of three are also important. Five recorded phenomena, could this be a breaking of the norm? Or could there be a sixth?

Images flash on screen of the many faces on the HPW roster. Who could it be that enters the GAP?

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Bandwagon Nerds

Bandwagon Nerds #289: The Rest of Us

The Nerds discuss trailers for Ironheart and Superman, talk about the greatness that was Andor Season 2, break down casting news, and much more!

Published

5 days ago

May 19, 2025

PC Tunney

This week, the Bandwagon takes a limited, but massively important, trip to the Trailer Park as we got the first trailer for Ironheart and the first full trailer for James Gunn’s Superman. What did the guys think of them, and how are they feeling about the way summer is shaping up as a possible resurgence in great superhero movies? Speaking of great, Andor Season 2 concluded this week. Patrick and Dave have made it known to all just how much they love the show, and they offer a mini-review of what made Season 2 so great… and how it makes watching Rogue One again a completely new experience. We also have casting news for the Buffy the Vampire Slayer reboot, as well as some surprise choices for the upcoming John Madden movie. All that plus, Max is going back to its roots, Christopher Nolan continues to innovate the movie industry, Jessica Jones is heading to the MCU, and VFX workers take a big step towards unionizing.

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