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Mitchell’s WWE Hell in a Cell Results & Report! (10/25/20)

It’s time go through Hell in a Cell!

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WWE Hell in a Cell 2020

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here!

Something wicked this way comes as WWE once again goes inside Hell in a Cell! Bayley and Sasha Banks will settle a grudge, Drew McIntyre once again battles The Viper, and if Roman Reigns makes Jey, the Usos MUST fall in line, or be disowned!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Kickoff Show – WWE 24/7 Championship: R-Truth VS Drew Gulak; Truth wins and retains the title.
  • WWE Universal Championship Hell in a Cell I Quit Match: Roman Reigns VS Jey Uso; Roman wins and retains the title, the Usos must “fall in line” behind him.
  • Jeff Hardy VS Elias; Elias wins, by disqualification.
  • Money in the Bank Contract Ownership: Otis VS The Miz w/ John Morrison; Miz wins and becomes the new Mr. Money in the Bank.
  • SmackDown Women’s Championship Hell in a Cell Match: Bayley VS Sasha Banks; Sasha wins and becomes the new SmackDown Women’s Champion.
  • WWE United States Championship: Bobby Lashley VS Slapjack; Lashley wins and retains the title.
  • WWE World Championship Hell in a Cell Match: Drew McIntyre VS Randy Orton; Orton wins and becomes the new WWE World Champion.

PLAY BY PLAY

It’s the Hell in a Cell Kickoff Show!

Join Charly Caruso, Booker T, Jerry “The King” Lawler, Pete Rosenberg AND Jeff Jarrett to discuss, analyze and predict all of the action going down in this very scary PPV!

Backstage interview with Paul Heyman.

Ahead of the Universal Championship HIAC I Quit match, there is a lot of talk about consequences. Can Heyman tell us the consequences for Roman should Jey win? Heyman wants Kayla to do herself a favor and take the “hype” out of her voice. If Jey is man enough to make Roman quit, which he’s not, then Roman quits his claim of being champion, of being a main eventer, of being the top star ever in WWE, as head of the table, family and the destined Tribal Chief. But when, and Heyman emphasizes when, Roman makes Jey say, “I Quit,” inside the cell, Jey is an indentured servant who will do Roman’s bidding when and how Roman tells him, commands him to do so. “Those are the consequences that will occur tonight when Jey Uso says I Quit at the hands and the dominance of the razing, defending, undisputed Universal Heavyweight Champion and your Tribal Chief, Roman… Reigns.”

 

Backstage interview with Jeff Hardy.

Does he care to comment on Elias still thinking he was behind the hit & run? Hardy says he’s made a lot of mistakes and battled his demons for years. He is proud of what he’s done and owned up to every mistake he’s made. So of course he didn’t hit Elias with the car! They cleared him of that months ago. Elias is just pointing fingers at the wrong man. Hopefully they do find the real culprit. But if Elias wants to swing guitars at Hardy, Hardy will swing back. The only universal truth Elias needs to see tonight is that there is a Twist of Fate in his future.

R-Truth joins the panel.

Jarrett says hey to Lil’ Jimmy and Truth is excited to see Road Dogg! Where’s Truth? He’s here! Are you sick? Check the temp. But someone help Truth. Sam! Sup, Sam! No, this is Pete. Charly asks what Truth is doing here. Truth points out they told him he has a match to defend his 24/7 487 7-11 I-95 South European Television Championship for the kickoff show, but clearly Raw Talk is here and it’s got a full panel! Did he miss something? No, this IS the HIAC Kickoff. And you do have a match. And Booker’s Kofi Kingston. No, Truth knows who Booker is, Book! He’s sitting with Larry the King Live! But he does have a match with Drew Gulak, in a few moments. See with your eyes, not with your hands. Shouldn’t Truth go prepare? Yes, he will. Off he goes. This is the fourth kickoff show he’s crashed. They should try and guess when, not if.

 

Elias joins the panel.

Pete plugs the album while the others cheer. How is he feeling/ Looking great, feeling great. He has Hardy right where he wants him, in the ring. And then tomorrow, the album drops. Elias heard them talking and says, on top of Hardy ruining the concert last week, he tried to run Elias over back in May! No that’s crap and you know it. Booker asks when Elias is bringing the tour to Houston? When everyone starts touring again. Jarrett knows Hardy, he knows some redhead did it. Elias can’t believe this attitude. King says if you don’t like how people drive, stay off the sidewalk. But also, King heard Elias’ album has less dropped, more escaped. Hah, real funny. Pete says there’s a lot of jealousy because there are many wrestlers who tried to be musicians and they were frauds. No offense, Jarrett.

Elias says he was inspired by Jarrett. Because he’s everything Jarrett wasn’t. Elias gives Jarrett a special song right now. “Jeff I see your mug up on a ThunderDome screen. I know you’re gonna dress like Elias for Halloween. What’s with guys named Jeff? Jarrett and Hardy. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think ‘Jeff’ was Spanish for… Junky.” Elias heads off, Booker thought that was great.

 

The Miz and John Morrison join the panel via video chat.

Charly Caruso brings up how the case flipped in their favor when JBL was given a briefcase. What was in the case? A “key piece of evidence.” Heavy Machinery was playing checkers, Miz & Morrison play Chutes & Ladders. And it’s super easy to win that, if you know the way. But this is what’s wrong with the legal system. Otis won fair and square! What company does Pete work for? The WWE? Yes. Then do you see Otis being the face of the WWE in the media and around the world?! DO you care about your jobs?! Miz is thinking about the company! He isn’t looking at the MITB briefcase as a prop, but as something important! Miz will make sure to beat Otis, cash in and BE WWE World or Universal Champion! Then everyone will be on notice! Because if you hold the top title, he’s after you!

Otis isn’t championship material, but Miz is! MC M I Z will save the WWE! Booker does believe in finders keepers, losers weepers, so he’s with Miz. Miz wants to emphasize that people don’t understand being world champion, but Miz does and Booker does. Yes, Booker does understand and respect that. The others here may not, but this SIX-TIME world champion, TWO-TIME Hall of Famer, does.

 

Kickoff Show – WWE 24/7 Championship: R-Truth VS Drew Gulak!

The FORTY-TWO TIME 24/7 Champion is hoping to still hold onto his baby tonight. But will the Philly Stretcher use his submission skills to rip the title from Truth’s grasp?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised and this championship match kicks off the night!

Truth high fives Lil’ Jimmy but he tells Jimmy to be careful of Gulak. Gulak calls Jimmy over, gives him a high five, too, then another. Then a secret handshake, too! And he sits on Gulak’s knee? Truth is upset, but then he’s ANGRY when Gulak KICKS Lil’ Jimmy! Truth goes after Gulak with fury! Truth whips, hip tosses and covers, ONE! Gulak gets to a corner, Truth fires off haymakers then throws haymaker sin the corner! And he brings Gulak to bump off buckles. Truth climbs up, rains down punches, but Gulak pushes him away. Gulak CLOBBERS Truth with a clothesline! Gulak has the leg, kicks and stomps it, then steps through for a standing toehold! Truth endures, keeps his shoulders up, but Gulak drops back to tweak the leg! Gulak stands up again, Truth endures more, but Gulak drops again!

Truth uses his free leg to kick Gulak away, but Gulak brings him around for a headlock. Truth powers out, jumps over the somersault but Gulak sunset flips! TWO, Gulak drop toeholds and has the leg again. Truth crawls, Gulak chinbars but Truth keeps fighting! Ropebreak! Gulak lets go, looms over Truth and brings him up as fans rally. Gulak uses a chinbar stretch! Truth endures, flips up and over Gulak to throw haymakers! Truth dodges, and rallies with Cena shoulders! And the Spin-Out Bomb! Fans cheer as Truth says “You Can’t See Me!” Truth hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle! Gulak flounders around into the fireman’s carry! Gulak fights out to shove, but Truth hits the LIE DETECTOR! Cover, TWO! Truth keeps going but misses the scissor kick!

Gulak headbutts and whips to corner clothesline! Gulak stomps away but lets up at 4. Truth skins the cat to the top rope?! Gulak is up top fast, Truth resists the suplex and throws body shots to get under! Truth drags Gulak out in an Electric Chair but Gulak punches to a sunset flip! Truth slips out, jackknife, Truth wins!!

Winner: R-Truth, by pinfall (still WWE 24/7 Champion)

But that just means the chase is on! Lucha House Party run out but Akira Tozawa follows! Tozawa pulls Lince Dorado and Gran Metalik away, but they keep him from giving chase, too! Truth joins the panel real quick but has to run again! Gulak is last to come by, and he tells Truth, “your childhood hero, John Cena, SUCKS!” Does Gulak really think that?

 

Retribution is backstage.

Mustafa Ali asks the others if they know what the greatest thrill in life is. “It’s watching someone make a bad decision.” The past few months, Ali has watched everyone plot against each other and make bad decisions. But they planned while he laughed as he shut down the Hurt Business, “a group of greedy men,” who are an evil corporation like the WWE! There is unfinished business with the Hurt Business. So tonight, Ali presents a proposal. One of theirs VS one of Hurt Business. MVP can make the call on who will FALL before Retribution! That’s MVP’s bad decision to make.

 

BREAKING NEWS!

SHUCKY DUCKY QUACK QUACK! The I Quit Hell in a Cell OPENS the night!?!? This could turn the entire world upside-down if Booker’s prediction of JEY winning comes true!

 

The ThunderDome is now, the HELLSCAPE of WWE!

The ominous structure of steel and fear has returned again. So consider this your warning! There will be consequences when blood fights blood. There will be nowhere to run when grudges reach never before seen levels. There will be hell to pay as legacy takes on legacy! Welcome to Hell in a Cell.

 

WWE Universal Championship Hell in a Cell I Quit Match: Roman Reigns VS Jey Uso!

What could have easily been the main event is OPENING the show! Roman insists that without him at the top of both the WWE and at the head of the table, the Anoa’i Dynasty will crumble. If Jey somehow wins, Roman insists it will bring about the ruin of their family’s legacy. But if Jey loses, he MUST acknowledge Roman as Tribal Chief. If Jey can’t, then he AND Jimmy, and their wives, and their children, and their children’s children, will be OUT of the Anoa’i family forever!! Is Jey willing to risk it all to be THE champion?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and this blood-boiling battle of blood goes through hell!

Jey and Roman stare down, and Roman says, “I told you it didn’t have to be this way.” Jey says Roman’s the one who is changing. Roman says he changed because he has to, to keep the family where it is. So then which is it? For the title or for the family? “Now we gotta get it!” They tie up, go around, Jey headlocks but Roman powers out and runs him over! Roman paces, brings Jey up and ROCKS him with an uppercut! Jey gets up, Roman paces as he says, “I told you.” Snap suplex! Roman paces more, not even really looking at Jey until Jey gets up. Roman brings Jey around to bump him off a buckle hard! Roman seethes as he corner clotheslines Jey down! Jey rolls, Roman stalks him, but Jey gets up and gets to a corner. Roman runs in again with another clothesline!

Jey falls to the floor but Roman just looms over him. Jey gets up and Roman tells him to just give it up. Roman goes in but gets boots! Jey throws a kick, it’s blocked but he comes back with the Dragon Whip! Mule kick! Pop, lock ‘n’ UPPERCUT! Roman is sent out of the ring, Jey builds speed to DIVE! Direct hit and Roman hits steel wall! Jey puts Roman in to clothesline him out again, and then DIVE again! Another hit into steel! It’s a bit double-edged this time but Jey gets up first. Jey brings Roman up to throw him into steel! “You about to get this work, too!” Jey throws Roman into more steel! The ref checks on Roman but he’s okay to continue. Jey says they “ain’t never quit sh*t,” but that’s gonna change today! Jey puts Roman in, follows after and has Roman in a corner. “UCE! OH!” Jey runs, but into the SPEAR!! Roman takes Jey down and catches his breath while Jey writhes.

Roman says he knows the one Spear won’t be enough. But he says Jey will wish he never even started this. Roman stomps Jey down! Jey checks his teeth while Roman shakes out the arm. Roman goes out of the ring and checks under it, and he grabs a chair. Jey runs and baseball slides Roman into steel! Jey runs again, DIVES, but into the forearm! Roman gets in, runs and SPEARS Jey again!! Roman tells Jey to just give it up but Jey refuses! Roman grows frustrated but he looms over Jey. “I don’t wanna have to do this!” Jey’s making Roman out to be the bad guy here. Jey sits up, Roman sighs and paces. “I will end you. I will end you!” Jey gets up, so Roman goes again, but into a KICK! Jey SUPERKICKS! Jey goes up top, leaps, USO SPLASH! Roman gasps and sputters but he refuses to give up. So Jey climbs up again! Jey leaps, USO SPLASH AGAIN!

Roman flounders, sputters, but manages to say, “Head of the table never quits.” Jey goes out, checks under the ring, and finds a LEATHER STRAP! Jey brings the strap into the ring, though struggling to walk on his own. Jey stands up, and LASHES Roman on the back! And AGAIN! Jey promises to “whoop the dogs*it” out of Roman! Roman sits up, Jey LASHES him again! Roman gets up to SPEAR!! Jey is back down and says he’s struggling to breathe, but that doesn’t mean he quits. Roman gets up, walks over and takes the strap from Jey. Roman can’t believe Jey would resort to this, but now it’s Jey’s turn with the LASH! “I do the whipping around here!!” ANOTHER LASH! Roman’s weirdly nostalgic over this as he LASHES Jey again! And again! Jey gets angry now but his body’s stinging. Roman puts the strap around Jey’s wrist, now it’s like a strap match!

And Roman says Jey will respect him, and he LASHES Jey right in the GROIN!! Jey writhes and flounders but also seethes, and yet Roman grins! Roman reels Jey in with the strap, Jey grabs ropes to resist, but then lets go to FOREARM Roman! Roman throws a forearm back! Jey forearms, Roman hits back with an elbow! Jey gets up again, and SUPERKICKS! Roman wobbles, leans on the ropes, the strap messes up the Superman Punch! Jey pounces on Roman to use the strap in a straitjacket stretch and then some!! Roman refuses to give up, but he might not even be able to breathe with the strap around his neck! Roman is fading! But an I Quit match is only won verbally! Roman revives, Jey is right on him!! Jey keeps pulling tight but again Roman fades out before ever saying anything! Jey is free of the strap himself, but the ref is checking on Roman.

Roman gasps back to consciousness but he’s refusing to give up! Jey is too tired to be frustrated, but he does go grab the chair Roman brought in. Jey uses the chair to stand up, and then aims at Roman. Roman slowly rises, Jey swings, into the SUPERMAN PUNCH! Jey wobbles into Roman’s GUILLOTINE! With body scissors!! Jey flails, but not even tapping out will stop this! Roman vows he’ll break Jey if he doesn’t quit! Jey is fading! Heyman even says Jey should just quit! Jey doesn’t say anything so Roman lets him go. Roman is beside himself as Jey refuses to say it! Roman says Jey should just say the words. Jey sits up as Roman tries to tell him that he needs to quit, or this is only going to get worse. Jey stays quiet as he slowly turns over. Roman wants Jey to say it, and they can all go home. Heyman says this is bad but Roman tells Heyman to shut up. Jey needs to learn to respect Roman.

Roman drags Jey by an arm, gets the chair, tosses the chair out, and then Roman drags Jey onto the apron. Jey is still in a daze as he grabs at Roman. Roman backs up, for the DRIVE-BY DROPKICK! That was a headshot into the post!! Roman tells Jey just to say it, but Jey refuses! Can he even say anything? Does he even know he’s still in the cell? Roman rains down haymakers on the “selfish” Jey, and even grinds him into the post! Roman gest the steel steps!?! Roman puts the steps very, very close to Jey’s body, and wedges him in between them and the post. Roman goes back to the corner, runs and FULL METAL DRIVE-BY!! The steps fall off the apron and the ref checks on Jey. Roman says this is over, just say it and they can all go home. But again, is Jey in any shape to say anything?

Roman says this has to continue. Jey knew what he was getting into. The ref says he’s going to call it, but then Roman grabs the ref! Roman tells the ref this match doesn’t end without the words. The ref say sJey is out, but Roman says the ref is out! He THROWS the ref out of the ring and into steel wall! The outside ref gets in to check on his coworker, and Roman drags Jey from the corner! Other referees and WWE officials get in the ring! Adam Pearce tries to reason with Roman, and Roman goes to leave. Roman says everyone is on Jey’s side. Roman closes the cell door and tosses the steel steps into the ring! The officials tell Roman to stop this already, but he’s not stopping at all! Roman chases them all off, circling around Jey. Roman grabs the steps, picks them up and has them press Jey down!

Roman tells Jey that Roman’s been better than Jey since they were kids. They’re grown men and Jey is STILL testing Roman! Roman is THE Tribal Chief! All Jey had to do was acknowledge him! And now he’s making Roman do what he doesn’t want to do! But that’s how serious it is at the top! There’s no going back! Jey needs to understand what the Tribal Chief is! Roman brings the steps back up, raises them high over head, but Jimmy gets in! Jey shields his brother and tells Roman to just stop! This is worse than Clash of Champions! This is JEY, for crying out loud! Whatever Roman is going through, they can fix this as a family! They don’t have to do it like this! This is JOSH FATU, not Jey Uso! Look at him! Look at them, Joe! Whatever he’s going through, he knows they’ve got his back. But this? This ain’t right.

Roman breaks down as he says, “I don’t even know who I am. I’m sorry.” Jimmy says that it’s fine. They’re family! They still love each other. Roman nods, and takes Jimmy’s hand. To then DRAG HIM INTO THE GUILLOTINE!! Jey flails, grabs for Jey, and Jey starts to wake up. Jey realizes what’s going on to his own twin and he grabs at Roman! “I QUIT! OKAY!? I QUIT!!” Jey quits, Roman wins!!

Winner: Roman Reigns (still WWE Universal Champion)

The Tribal Chief must be out of his mind, because he’s not even emotional at all now!! Was it all an act!? Roman may have lied, but no one understands who this man holding the title is anymore. Afa and Sika await Roman as he exits the cell. Roman walks up to his father and his uncle, the elders of the family, and celebrates with them as he is truly crowned Tribal Chief. Roman is truly head of the table. Will Roman hold this, and the title, over his cousins for the rest of their lives?

 

Jeff Hardy VS Elias!

The Drifter walks out to introduce himself and ask the question, Who Wants to Walk With Elias? Four months ago, “that degenerate” Jeff Hardy tried to end Elias’ career with a hit and run. But those events inspired Elias’ new album, The Universal Truth. So Elias has a song for Hardy first. Please silence cell phones, hold applause and most importantly, shut your mouths! “Jeff Hardy and Elias! We’re in the ThunderDome! Worst part of it, I gotta look at y’all in your filthy homes! Jeff Hardy and Elias, yes you’re gonna lose. But don’t worry, Jeff, you can always fall back on the booze. Jeff Hardy and Elias, what’s the difference between you and I? WWE is Walk with Elias, Jeff Hardy equals DUI.” But Hardy cuts Elias off to shut him up, and this rockstar grudge match begins!

The bell rings and Elias ties up with Hardy. They go to a corner, Elias turns Hardy around and pushes out of the break. Hardy comes back, they go around again but end up on ropes. The ref counts, Hardy lets off at 3. Elias comes back, knees low and throws forearms! Elias brings Hardy up to CHOP him, then has him on the ropes. Elias whips, Hardy dodges and ducks to atomic drop, snapmare and neck snapper! Cover, TWO! Hardy clubs Elias down, stomps him, then drags him up. Hardy wrenches, clubs the arm, wrenches again and hammerlocks. Hardy clubs Elias, Elias gets around and hammerlocks to snapmare and wrap on a chinlock! But Hardy slips out the back! Hardy has the hammerlock, cranks on the arm, but Elias fights his way up.

Hardy cranks on the arm more, they go around and Elias throws Hardy off and out of the ring! Elias catches his breath while Hardy slowly gets up. Elias goes out and throws Hardy into barriers! Hardy throws Elias into barriers in return! Hardy puts Elias in but Elias bails out, so Hardy wrecks him with a dropkick! Hardy goes out and leaps off steps, but into barriers as Elias dodges! The ring count climbs to 5 before Hardy gets up, and it’s at 9 just as Hardy gets in! Elias stomps Hardy then drags him around by his hair. The ref reprimands but Elias forearms Hardy down. Elias throws body shots and fast hands on Hardy but Hardy ends up in the corner. Elias keeps going, the ref reprimands and counts, Elias lets off to come back and stomp Hardy down! Elias drags Hardy up, whips him to ropes then runs him over! Cover, TWO!

Elias grows frustrated as he looms over Hardy. Elias drags Hardy up to wrap on a chinlock and he squeezes tight this time. Fans clap for Hardy as he fights up, throws body shots, and is free. Elias throws a fist, blocks a kick but Hardy spins to mule kick Elias down! Hardy rallies the fans as he gets to his feet. Elias runs in but Hardy throws counter punches! Hardy throws more haymakers, whips Elias but Elias reverses, only for Hardy to run Elias over! Atomic drop to leg splitting leg drop! Basement dropkick and splash, cover, TWO! Hardy keeps his focus as he watches Elias rise. Hardy kicks but no Twist as Elias shoves Hardy away! Elias Electric Chair lifts, spins Hardy around to POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! Hardy survives and Elias is shocked! Elias and Hardy slowly rise in opposite corners.

Elias runs in but Hardy elbows him away! Hardy boots then climbs up, WHISPER IN THE WIND! Cover, TWO! Hardy keeps focused and gets Elias with the TWIST OF FATE! Off comes the shirt and Hardy goes back up top! Elias gets to the apron but Hardy just adjusts course, so Elias flails and gets to the floor! Hardy still doesn’t see the problem as he hops down. Hardy hurries after Elias and stops him from using the guitar! HARDY uses the GUITAR!!

Winner: Elias, by disqualification

Hardy doesn’t really care about losing, because he got to get Elias back for that “smash hit.” Hardy even stomps what’s left of the guitar to make sure the message sinks in. Will Elias accept the win and move on? Or will there be a sequel to this rough collaboration?

 

Backstage interview with Heavy Machinery.

Tucker is with Otis again as Otis prepares for his match, as ruled on in “Law & Otis.” Otis says mama always told him, if you got it, flaunt it! Otis has it, Miz wants it, so Otis is gonna rub that in Miz’s face! Otis had to sit in that hot court room in that itchy suit just for this! Otis is REAL angry, is he going to make sure Miz feels ever ounce of that anger?

 

Money in the Bank Contract Ownership: Otis w/ Tucker VS The Miz w/ John Morrison!

Mr. Dozer in the Bank is the victim of the Hollywood A-Lister abusing the WWE legal system! From a frivolous lawsuit with trumped up charges to literally bribing “The Honorable” JBL to rule in his favor! But just because Miz won the case in court doesn’t mean he’ll win the briefcase in the ring! Will Otis get payback on The Miz for everything that’s happened between them? Or will Miz once again be Mr. MITB and have another chance at rising to the top?

Otis has a new entrance just for himself! The #BlueCollarSolid working man is ready to go to work! The introductions are made, the briefcase is raised, and this legally allowed assault and battery begins!

Otis and Miz tie up and Otis powers Miz right to the corner! Otis fires off haymakers from all sides! The ref counts, Otis TOSSES Miz away! Miz gets to a corner, Otis runs in and RAMS him! Miz gasps and sputters but Otis scoop slams him! Cover, TWO! Otis stays fired up as he drags Miz up. Miz jawbreakers back but swings into a back suplex! Miz lands on his feet to get the full nelson! Otis breaks free, throws Miz out but Miz slides under to sunset flip! Otis stays up to STAND on Miz! The ref counts, Otis drops down on Miz! Miz crawls away, Otis stalks Miz but Miz throws body shots. Those don’t work on Otis! Miz throws Otis out of the ring, builds speed and dropkicks but misses! Otis CLOBBERS Miz! Otis drags Miz up to bounce him off the desk, then bump him off the desk again!

Otis puts Miz in, Morrison gets on the apron but gets away as Otis swipes at him. Miz kicks the legs out to basement DDT Otis down! Cover, TWO! Otis gets to ropes but Miz is on him to choke him! The ref counts, Miz stops at 4 but Morrison gets a cheap shot in! Tucker is angry but Miz gives Otis It Kicks in the corner! Miz goes corner to corner to hit the A-List Lariat! Miz goes up top, leaps, and ax handles Otis down! Cover, TWO! Miz seethes, stalks Otis to ropes but Otis hits back! Miz gets around to a sleeper! Otis flails but fades! Miz leans on Otis but Otis gets a second wind! Otis gets up, throws Miz off, but Miz BOOTS Otis right down! Morrison says that was money! Miz seethes as he looms over Otis. Miz sits Otis up for haymakers and It Kicks! Otis just powers up!

Miz kicks but Otis blocks! Miz kicks again but Otis powers up! Miz CHOPS, Otis starts thrusting! Otis throws haymakers and runs Miz over! And again! Otis is feeling it as he runs and BLASTS Miz off his feet! Otis rips his shirt off then whips Miz to FLAPJACK him! Fans fire up with Otis as Otis runs into the corner for a splash! Miz flops down and Otis pumps it up! Otis goes ocrner to corner with the CATERPILLAR, but Morrison drags Miz to safety! Otis pursues and throws Miz into barriers! Otis chases Morrison away and goes back to Miz. Otis puts Miz in, Miz BOOTS him again! Otis is in a corner now, Miz runs in but into an elbow! Miz distracts the ref, Morrison has the briefcase! Tucker points it out, the ref catches Morrison red handed! Morrison is EJECTED!

Miz is all alone, Otis rolls Miz up, TWO!! Miz runs into a DISCUS!! Cover, TWO!? Miz survives but Otis is right on him! Miz grabs the apron skirt, kicks Otis away and while the ref is busy with the skirt, TUCKER hits Otis with the briefcase?!? WHY!?! Tucker how could you?!? Miz covers Otis, and WINS!!

Winner: The Miz, by pinfall; (NEW Mr. Money in the Bank)

Heavy Machinery was no more because of the WWE Draft, but this is TRULY the ending of the blue collar solid friendship! And now, Miz has his choice of championship opportunity! Will Miz be watching McIntyre VS Orton very closely tonight?

 

Miz and Morrison celebrate backstage!

NEW Mr. MITB! Kayla comes by to congratulate Miz as he finally succeeded, but it seems at the cost of destroying Otis’ life. Miz say she did what was necessary for the WWE to thrive. Morrison says this is the biggest win of the night because the contract has meaning. Miz has been here 15 years, he has made others better, and has been ratings gold! He will not squander this opportunity! This is NOT a prop! This is a golden opportunity! And to the WWE Champion or Universal Champoin, you are now on notice! Miz has cashed in before, and he’ll do it again! Otis took it for granted, and took Tucker for granted. Tucker comes by and says this isn’t about Miz.

But then why did he betray Otis?! “We were supposed to be a team. But I was the workhorse! I carried the load!” Tucker did everything for Otis and for the team! Tucker treated Otis like a brother, but for what? So that he was always the afterthought? Tucky, tag Otis in! Give Otis the spotlight! But Otis can’t function without Tucker! Who gave Otis confidence to ask Mandy out? TUCKER. Who had Otis’ back all this time? TUCKER. But Otis can’t tie his own boots without Tucker! But Otis comes in and BLASTS Miz down and then brawls with Tucker! Tucker runs away and referees hurry to keep this from getting out of hand! With Tucker and Otis on separate brands, will these feelings go unresolved?

 

SmackDown Women’s Championship Hell in a Cell Match: Bayley VS Sasha Banks!

The (unofficially named) Golden Role Models were the best of friends and the greatest of combinations in the WWE in a long, long time! But all because they lost the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships, Bayley decided to betray Banks first! Now that they’re back to enemies, all of this animosity will burn bright inside the cell! Who walks out forged by the fire as THE greatest women’s champion ever? And who is left behind to pick up the pieces?

Bayley makes sure to bring her favorite chair, and has even painted “1-0” on it, to reference their record against each other for this title. There’s also an X on the other side to mark the spot she hit Sasha with several times already. The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and this friendship gone to hell now goes through hell!

Sasha DROPKICKS the chair out just before the cell finishes lowering! And then she throws Bayley down! Sasha dares Bayley to go get the one thing that helps her win. Bayley hurries out but Sasha intercepts with forearms! Sasha DECKS Bayley, stomps her then rains down rights! Bayley grabs the leg but Sasha throws down more fists! Bayley scrambles, Sasha stomps and knees Bayley into buckles! Sasha runs in, Bayley puts her up top and spins, only for Sasha to boot her away. Sasha runs and tilt-o-whirls to a takedown, into the BANK STATEMENT! Bayley flails, reaches, BITES and gets free! Bayley goes out, Sasha runs, but Bayley ducks to RAM Sasha into steel! Bayley RAMS Sasha in again! Sasha grits her teeth while Bayley goes looking under the ring.

Bayley brings out a kendo stick! Bayley swings, misses, but keeps swinging! Sasha keeps dodging, blocks the stick then takes it to shove it out of the cell through one of the gaps! Bayley hurries to get more kendo sticks but has to elbow Sasha away! Bayley swings but Sasha blocks it again! Sasha brings Bayley to KNEE her down! Sasha throws the kendo stick into the ring, then brings out a TABLE! Sasha sets it up in what little space there is between ring and cell. Bayley sucker punches Sasha down and clubs her down! Bayley sees the table, deconstructs it while stomping Sasha. Bayley wants to prop the table up but Sasha grabs the other end! Sasha RAMS Bayley into the steel! And again! And again! The table rams into Bayley at the same time, and now Bayley is stuck. Sasha runs up the table to METEORA against steel! Sasha puts Bayley in, goes up top and leaps, METEORA AGAIN! Cover, TWO!!

Bayley survives and Sasha can’t believe it! Sasha goes back out and brings in chairs of her own. Sasha taunts Bayley but Bayley gets around to roll her up, TWO! Bayley scrambles up, puts Sasha on the apron and trips her up! Sasha hits apron on the way down and even lands on the table. Bayley grabs a chair, talks over to Sasha stuck on the table, and SWINGS, only to hit table! Sasha gets under the table to kick it up into Bayley’s face! Then she goes up the apron to METEORA Bayley into the cell again! It was a rough landing for both but Sasha is up first. Sasha puts Bayley in, Bayley tries to run away but Sasha is after her through the ropes. Bayley hotshots Sasha down! Sasha crawls to the apron now, Bayley brings her up to throw her at the steel!

Sasha clings to it like a cat, Bayley jumps at her but Sasha jumps back! Sasha jumps over Bayley, Bayley throws Sasha at the apron but Sasha Tiger Feints to huricanrana Bayley into steel! Sasha gets up and hobbles back to her table. Bayley stands, Sasha runs and shotgun dropkicks Bayley into steel steps! Bayley looks out as Sasha drags her around. Sasha brings out more kendo sticks! Sasha uses the gaps in the steps and gaps in the steel to make some kendo stick bridges. Sasha drags Bayley over but Bayley fights back with fury! Bayley turns things around, Sasha resists and gets to the apron! Sasha kicks Bayley down, runs in but Bayley uses a drop toehold to send Sasha into stick sand steps!! Sasha’s neck is of concern and Bayley makes sure commentary gives her credit for it.

Bayley says Sasha had a good idea, though. Bayley puts the kendo sticks in through the many gaps of steps and cell, and then CATAPULT GUILLOTINES Sasha into them!! Bayley drags Sasha up and into the ring, covers, TWO!! Sasha still lives and Bayley is furious! Bayley drags Sasha back up to club her on the back, and stomp her, too! Bayley puts on a chinlock and pulls Sasha back. Bayley stomps Sasha, has chairs, and then brings Sasha up and turns her, NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Bayley grows frustrated as she stalks Sasha to the apron. “Boss of the Cell, huh? Boss my ass!” Bayley drags Sasha up but Sasha grabs ropes to resist the suplex! Sasha flips, and POWERBOMBS Bayley into the steel! Bayley is down again and Sasha puts her in! Cover, TWO!!

Sasha sits a chair up, and just like on Friday, puts Bayley through it! But Bayley fights out and trips Sasha, Sasha smacks her face off the chair! Bayley gets the other chair, wedges it into a corner, then stalks behind Sasha. Bayley brings Sasha up, whips her but Sasha slides under! Sasha knees back, climbs up, and uses DEADLY NIGHTSHADE to send Bayley into the chair! Sasha runs, Bayley dodges but Sasha avoids chair. Sasha hurries after Bayley but Bayley SUNSET BOMBS Sasha into the chair!! Cover, TWO!?!? Sasha survives but Bayley isn’t even dismayed. Bayley drags Sasha around, goes up top, and MACHO ELBOWS! Cover, TWO!! Bayley is furious but the count is fair. Bayley drags Sasha up, hooks the arm but Sasha slips out to BACKSTABBER, to BANK STATEMENT!

Bayley flails, reaches, moves around, gets the ropes but there are no ropebreaks! Bayley keeps going, traps Sasha in the apron skirt and clubs away! Bayley SMACKS Sasha off the ring frame!! Sasha is stuck upside-down, and Bayley SMACKS her on the back over and over with the kendo stick! Sasha slumps out of the skirt and Bayley grimaces as she goes looking for more. Bayley brings out DUCT TAPE! Bayley struggles with the tape, saying she’s all sweaty. Can the ref do this for her? The ref refuses to help her do whatever she’s planning. Bayley uses tape to combine kendo sticks into one extra big stick! And she puts those through steel fence and ring frame! It isn’t really working out but she just puts more tape around it. Well, that still isn’t working so Bayley leaves that where it is.

Sasha uses the FIRE EXTINGUISHER!! Bayley gets a face full of the smoke!! Bayley flounders about, wants water for her eyes, but she finds her favorite chair first! Sasha grabs it from her first! Bayley begs for mercy since she can’t see but Sasha just hammers away on her instead! “SCREW YOU!” Sasha throws Bayley into steel, then more steel! Bayley even pinballs off the post! “You’re nothing without me, Bayley! NOTHING!” Sasha SLAPS Bayley, and whips her into steel again! Bayley is down in the corner of the cell, Sasha runs and METEORAS again! And then knees and knees and knees away! Sasha puts Bayley back in, then goes searching for more things. Sasha grabs another kendo stick, stalks behind Bayley, and SMACKS away!

Sasha shouts Bayley isn’t a nobody, and she won’t be a champion! She is NOT better than Sasha! Sasha SMACKS and SMACKS and SMACKS then just throws the stick away in anger! Bayley is down, Sasha is emotional and watches her from a corner. Bayley crawls for her favorite chair, but Sasha stomps Bayley down first! Sasha goes to a corner and up top, for the FROG SPLASH, ONTO THE CHAIR!! Bayley used the chair as a shield!! It was still double-edged because Bayley was underneath the chair, too. Both women are down but stirring. Bayley rolls away, Sasha grabs her foot but can’t keep her inside. Sasha pursues, drags Bayley up but Bayley hits the PLANTER! Bayley puts Sasha in, covers, TWO!?!? Sasha survives and Bayley furiously hammers away!

Bayley drags Sasha up, throws her back out, then goes looking for things under the table. Bayley finds a LADDER?! Bayley puts that ladder in the ring, also gets a chair, and then another chair. Bayley makes the ladder a bridge between both chairs, then intercepts Sasha as she gets back in! Sasha gets up but Bayley clubs her down. Bayley and Sasha brawl, Sasha runs, but Bayley flapjacks her off the ladder bridge! Bayley puts Sasha on the ladder, then goes looking for more. Bayley has spray paint?! And she sprays an X to mark the spot. Bayley has her favorite chair, X for X! Bayley leaps, FULL METAL ELBOW, but onto ladder as Sasha moves! Sasha uses the ladder to leap up, METEORA! Sasha steals BAYLEY2BELLY onto the LADDER! Cover, TWO!?!? Bayley survives her own move, boosted by the metal of ladder and chairs!

Sasha is at a loss for words, but she clears space now. Sasha tries to backstab but Bayley throws her off and KNEES her! BAYLEY2BELLY FROM BAYLEY! Cover, TWO?!?!? Now Sasha survives as Bayley uses her move herself! Bayley is laughing in disbelief as she pushes Sasha around. And she has her favorite chair again. To SMACK Sasha on the back! And again! Bayley stalks Sasha as Sasha flounders. “Get up, Boss.” Bayley brings Sasha in, uses the chair, but no Bayley2Belly as Sasha arm-drags! FULL METAL BANK STATEMENT!!! Sasha even stomps at the chair to add onto the vice! BAYLEY TAPS, SASHA WINS!!

Winner: Sasha Banks, by submission (NEW SmackDown Women’s Champion)

GRAND SLAM BOSS TIME!! But Sasha doesn’t stop until she’s satisfied! These two went through hell, and it is Sasha who comes out the other side! But she doesn’t take the belt right away, as she stares at Bayley, barely stirring after what happened. Sasha finally stands, takes the belt, and stands over Bayley with it! Sasha ended Bayley’s reign, will it take even more than hell to stop her now?

 

Backstage interview with The Hurt Business.

Charly was looking for them, and judging from how he’s suited up, Bobby Lashley must’ve been chosen to step up to Retribution’s challenge. MVP says it isn’t stepping up. No one understands how the Hurt Business works. Lashley is the CEO of the Hurt Business, the lead predator in this pride of lions. And just like the warrior kings of old, he does not order others but leads them into battle. Then who do they want him to face from Retribution? That guy in the lame mask. Oh, wait, that’s all of them. Shelton Benjamin was thinking of Slapjack. Yeah, that’s who it’ll be. Slapjack VS Lashley.

And MVP directs this right to Ali: “We are not greed businessmen, but we are in fact businessmen. Professionals of the highest order. And yes, we are driven by profit, but also by our intense passion for inflicting pain.” MVP sees the challenge and raises it: let this be 1v1, no corner men and no back-up. And to raise the stakes more, this is going to be for the United States championship! And Lashley isn’t waiting for a response, he’ll see whoever wants it, out in the ring.

 

WWE United States Championship: Bobby Lashley VS Slapjack!

The Rocky Mountain Machine is so confident he can beat the Retribution member formerly known as Shane Thorne, he’s even putting up the prize! But is the Hurt Business wrong to think there’s a weak link in Mustafa Ali’s personal army?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and this stacked deck against Slapjack begins!

Slapjack throws his shirt at Lashley and fires off! Lashley throws Slapjack, stomps and hammers away in the corner but lets off only a moment to grind forearms and run in to RAM into Slapjack! Lashley drags Slapjack up to throw into the corner, throw more hands and even elbows! The ref counts, Lashley lets off but then comes back for more. Lashley whips corner to corner, Slapjack tumbles up and down the buckles! Lashley pushes Slapjack around, hauls him up and stalling suplexes before the slam! Lashley looms over Slapjack, puts him back in a corner and fires off more haymakers! Lashley pulls on the ski mask, the ref counts but Lashley lets up at 4. Slapjack gets around, Lashley tilt-o-whirls him but Slapjack slips off to shove Lashley into buckles!

Slapjack fires off on Lashley now but the ref backs him off. Slapjack goes corner to corner to CANNONBALL! Cover, but they’re in the ropes! Slapjack keep son Lashley with forearm sand clubbing fists. Slapjack chinbars and goes to cobra clutch, but Lashley powers up and out to throw Slapjack away. Slapjack boots back, runs and TORNADO DDT’S! Cover, TWO!! Lashley lives and Slapjack can’t believe it! Slapjack rains down rights and gets in Lashley’s face. Slapjack hurries up top, Lashley gets him first for a TOSS! And then clobbers him over and over! Lashley OVERHEAD belly2belly suplexes Slapjack! Lashley snarls, runs at Slapjack but Slapjack dodges, only to come back for the ALL MIGHTY SPINEBUSTER! Lashley stalks Slapjack, full nelson, HURT LOCK!! Slapjack taps, Lashley wins!

Winner: Bobby Lashley, by submission (still WWE United States Champion)

But then the rest of Retribution pounces! T-Bar and Mace attack with Ali shouting orders! Then he says, “Lights out!” Mace and T-Bar bring Lashley up but he fights out with big haymakers! The Hurt Business reinforces Lashley and Ali puts on the brakes! Retribution regroups and retreats, but this is far from over! What will it take to establish unquestionable dominance over on the red brand?

 

WWE World Championship Hell in a Cell Match: Drew McIntyre VS Randy Orton!

The Scottish Psychopath is entering his first ever, but The Viper is a veteran of this match. Will McIntyre continue to define his own legacy against the Legend Killer? Or will Orton solidify his by leaving McIntyre behind in hell?

But as McIntyre makes his entrance, ORTON reveals he’s in disguise! But McIntyre is ready, too, as he throws counter punches! McIntyre bumps Orton off barriers, and says he knew all along Orton had a plan! McIntyre rips the jacket off Orton to CHOP him! Orton stops himself from being thrown into steel and gets away! McIntyre pursues, Orton kicks back! Orton bumps McIntyre off steel and then clears off the announce desk! Orton drags McIntyre up and over, back suplexes but McIntyre blocks! McIntyre punches Orton down and brings Orton up to bump him off the desk hood! McIntyre brings Orton around the way to punch him and bump him off steel. Orton hits back and hurries away, but McIntyre pursues again. McIntyre kicks and clubs Orton, then puts him in the cell! McIntyre slams the door closed, and this match finally begins! “Now you belong to me!”

Orton and McIntyre stare down and McIntyre dares Orton to do something. They approach, Orton kicks low and they start brawling with haymakers! Orton kicks and clubs, McIntyre hits back with haymakers! McIntyre kicks Orton, clubs him and CHOPS him, then throws a headlock punch! Orton staggers but kicks back, but McIntyre denies the RKO! McIntyre clotheslines Orton out and Orton tumbles into steel! McIntyre goes out, drags Orton up and RAMS him into steel! McIntyre stands Orton up again to pick him up and RAM him in even harder! “Tell me how it feels!” McIntyre grinds Orton’s face into the steel! Orton clutches his ear as McIntyre lets up. McIntyre drags Orton back up and into the ring to cover, TWO! Orton rolls away, McIntyre pursues and they’re on the outside again.

McIntyre bumps Orton off steel, then scoops him to RAM him, and RAM him, and RAM him! McIntyre even POSTS Orton! Orton ends up in the corner of the cell and McIntyre smirks. McIntyre goes around and starts searching for something. McIntyre brings out a chair and brings it back. Orton gets up, but McIntyre JABS him and SMACKS him with the chair! Orton crawls around the way, McIntyre pursues and brings Orton up. McIntyre Russian Leg Sweeps Orton into the steel! McIntyre pulls the steel steps apart and aims at Orton. Orton stands, McIntyre RAMS him with the steps! Orton leans against the apron but McIntyre shoves him down. “You wanted this! You chose this match!” McIntyre goes back to the steps, aims at Orton again, and THROWS them! Orton gets clear, and the steps bounce off steel!

Orton gets in the ring for safety but McIntyre aims from a corner. McIntyre wants Orton to count down with him. “Three! Two! One!” But Orton SMACKS the leg with the chair! And then SMACKS McIntyre on the back! Orton digs the chair into McIntyre’s jaw! McIntyre’s jaw was fractured by Orton’s punt kicks, and now Orton wants to break the jaw again! McIntyre refuses to give up so Orton lets off to cover, ONE! Orton is beside himself as he finally sheds the rest of his disguise. McIntyre rolls away, Orton stalks over and grabs the legs, to CATAPULT GUILLOTINE McIntyre into ropes! McIntyre falls out of the ring, gasps and sputters for air, but Orton brings McIntyre to the base of the steps. Orton stands over McIntyre and STOMPS! McIntyre is in a daze after that, but Orton keeps on him!

Orton grinds McIntyre’s face into the steel fencing! Orton chuckles as he tortures McIntyre! And then Orton uses his jacket to blind McIntyre while digging him into the steel! Orton taunts McIntyre, “Do you want me to tell you what I see?” Orton says he sees a giant Scotsman getting his ass kicked! Orton lets off and McIntyre flounders back to the steps. McIntyre hits back with body shots but Orton headbutts him! Orton brings McIntyre around to whip into the other steel steps! Orton brings the base steps and stands them up the tall way. Orton goes back to McIntyre, brings him up and tries to bounce him off steps, but McIntyre fights back! McIntyre headbutts Orton, bumps him off steps, then shoves him into the steel wall! Orton thumbs McIntyre’s eye!

McIntyre is furious, Orton whips him into the BIG steps! McIntyre tumbles down with the steps while Orton goes looking for something. Orton brings out a TABLE! McIntyre flounders about as Orton stands the table up in a corner of the cell. Orton goes after McIntyre in the ring, but McIntyre throws body shots! McIntyre backs Orton down, punches him more, and CHOPS! McIntyre whips, Orton reverses and hits the back2backbreaker! Cover, ONE?! Orton is shocked by that! That had to be at least two, but no, it was one. Orton is frustrated but fans start to rally up. McIntyre rises, Orton brings McIntyre up by his beard, but McIntyre throws haymakers! Orton European Uppercuts, McIntyre throws more haymakers! McIntyre has Orton in a corner but Orton kicks low then whips corner to corner. McIntyre comes back with a clothesline!

McIntyre rallies, whips and OVERHEAD SUPLEXES! Orton gets to ropes, McIntyre runs at him again, and gets ANOTHER OVERHEAD SUPLEX! McIntyre is glaring at Orton and demands he stand. Orton slowly rises, McIntyre kicks and underhooks, but no Future Shock! Orton swings, but into a neckbreaker! McIntyre kips up! McIntyre is fire dup and fans are excited, too! Orton stirs, McIntyre watches him rise, fireman’s carry! Orton fights out of that, bails out of the ring, but McIntyre pursues! Orton kicks low, bumps McIntyre off apron and steel wall. Orton runs at McIntyre, but into another OVERHEAD SUPLEX, and through the table!! Both men are down, fans rally up and some agree, “This is Awesome!”

McIntyre gets Orton up, telling him he’s going to keep his promise of hurting him! McIntyre puts Orton in but Orton kicks the ropes! And again! Orton hits McIntyre in his claymore, then hits the DRAPING DDT! Cover, ONE?!? McIntyre shocks Orton again! Orton goes out and brings out bolt cutters! McIntyre used the cutters to get inside on Raw, but Orton is going to use them to get out tonight! Orton breaks the chain, opens the door, and walks outside. But there’s no count outs, and McIntyre pursues! McIntyre CLOBBERS Orton at the ramp, brings him back and bumps him off barriers! And more barriers! Orton flounders away but McIntyre pursues again! McIntyre brings Orton back, Orton turns things around and McIntyre is sent into the door!

McIntyre falls, Orton snarls, and then Orton gets an idea. We’ve seen superstars do this in the past, and Orton is doing it now! Orton is climbing the cell! And all the way up! McIntyre is surprised Orton is literally wanting to take this to a new level, but he accepts the challenge! McIntyre begins the climb! They’re 20 feet up, right in the heart of the ThunderDome! But Orton had something planned! There’s a big red pipe Orton has in his hand! McIntyre is wary as he approaches, ducks the pipe and trips Orton up to rain down fists! McIntyre stands up, roars, but Orton hits McIntyre in the leg with the pipe! Orton crawls back to the edge, tries to figure out how to climb down and begins the descent. But McIntyre won’t let him get away! McIntyre manages to climb down, but Orton hits McIntyre as he can.

They both make it halfway down and McIntyre hits back! Orton bumps McIntyre off the frame! And again! McIntyre wobbles but he clubs back! Orton CLUBS McIntyre’s hand off the cell, McIntyre falls THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE DESK!! Orton takes his time climbing back down while McIntyre stirs in the wreckage. McIntyre spits up some blood! But he’s still moving, so Orton slithers over. Orton stands over McIntyre, drags him around, and McIntyre sputters and gasps as he tries to get to his feet. McIntyre crawls, Orton stalks him, a little confused as to how and why McIntyre is still going. They somehow make it back to the cell door, and Orton hauls McIntyre up. McIntyre scrambles around the way but Orton puts him in the ring.

Orton takes his time following and revels in McIntyre writhing and shuddering. Orton hears the voices in his head, and they all want McIntyre to get back up. McIntyre somehow rises, Orton leaps, but into a backslide!! TWO!! McIntyre manages to run to CLAYMORE!?! But Orton gets sent out of the ring! McIntyre goes out, despite the pain in his ribs, to fetch Orton. McIntyre drags Orton up, despite Orton being dead weight. McIntyre gets Orton inside, hobbles to a corner, and still wants Orton to stand! Anger overtakes the pain in McIntyre’s body, and Orton rises, to drop under the Claymore! RKO!!! Cover, ORTON WINS!!

Winner: Randy Orton, by pinfall (NEW WWE World Champion)

For the FOURTEENTH TIME, Orton has the title of titles! McIntyre tried, but not even he could withstand everything he went through at Orton’s hands. Orton grins as he walks away with the belt. McIntyre gets up, but a little too late. Will McIntyre ever get back to that title? Will McIntyre ever get that title back?


My Thoughts:

Wow, that was a wild HIAC! We got a few surprises, and some were good but some were not so good. Well firstly, there were somethings not quite PPV quality. Hardy VS Elias was fine and all but it ended with a disqualification very quickly, so obviously this is going to be continuing. I figured this feud is far from over, but they could’ve done a much better job setting it up. And the same goes for the Hurt Business VS Retribution representative match. Obviously with the Hurt Business given the option, they were going to choose Shane “Slapjack” Thorne, considerably the smallest and doofiest member.

But if Ali and the others were going to be ready to pounce, they probably should’ve just done it without worrying about the title match. At the same time, WWE continues to write Ali and Retribution like weaklings. How are they supposed to be a threat if it isn’t equal between them and Hurt Business? And if Ali is WWE’s hacker, why didn’t he hack to use the cell? I would’ve loved something like that to really sell us on Survivor Series giving us an old school, story-based 4v4. But oh well, this is still Vince’s show. The 24/7 Championship match in the kickoff was alright. Truth winning with a mix of Cena’s moves and his was alright, but I feel like they could’ve done something having Truth lose and then have to find Gulak before the others do. Maybe Truth holds onto the belt long enough so that Survivor Series gets superstars from all three brands in on the chase.

Then, the main show OPENING with the I Quit match was incredible! I honestly feel like that could’ve gone on at the end and HIAC would’ve had an amazing close. I felt Jimmy being used against Jey like that was going to happen, but not with the set-up of evil actor Roman suckering them both in. Everyone has to admit that Roman is doing the best work he’s ever done, and probably the best character work anyone’s doing in WWE right now. We could even argue on the merits of Roman doing the best character work in American wrestling today, and that’d mean comparing Tribal Chief Roman to anything in AEW, Impact, ROH and anything else you can name.

I’m not sure who to feel worse for: Otis in kayfabe or Otis IRL. Otis was red hot just a few months ago, which is why he was made Mr. MITB. But then things stalled out, should’ve been a bit more obvious to WWE but because it’s Vince, pff so much for that. But with Roman as Universal Champion, and then the world title still in question, it didn’t look like it was Otis’ time anymore. I can understand WWE changing their mind now, but it still doesn’t look or feel that great.

Tucky turning on Otis one way or another is par for the course with WWE changing the tag divisions across both Raw and SmackDown, men’s and women’s. But Otis having nothing, is he going to demand a trade to Raw? It’d make sense, but it also seems like they could’ve just let Otis retain the briefcase and then Tucky betrays Otis by making him think he even has a chance cashing in on Orton or McIntyre. That way Tucker gets back at EVERYONE, both Miz and Otis.

The SmackDown Women’s Championship match was incredible! Great innovation, the animosity helped bring back all the story, but it’s great for Sasha to win. Bayley already passed the 365+ mark, she has her WWE Chronicle special now, and because surely, they’re still friends IRL, Bayley wanted Sasha to finally have the Grand Slam, too. Plus, literally on Friday, 10/30/20, The Mandalorian’s second season drops on Disney+ and Sasha is in that, so it’s a way to advertise and hype that up with a star of the show being a champion. Plus, Sasha being champion freshens up the division, so matches of Sasha VS Bianca, Sasha VS Natalya, Sasha VS Carmella would all be great to have.

And the world title HIAC match was itself a great closer. Orton’s sneak attack and McIntyre brawling with him before the bell were great, everything in the match was great, but they sure didn’t spend as much time up top as I would’ve thought. It seemed really just to set up McIntyre taking that fall off the side, a slight offshoot of the time Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose/Jon Moxley did it. But it was also a great way to plausibly get through the incredible toughness McIntyre has shown since WrestleMania. Orton wins because of it, but also because of that admittedly creative dodge of the Claymore. With Miz “putting the champions on notice,” I was hoping he and Morrison would jump Orton and cash in, but guess not. Now we have Heels as the top two champions and Mr. MITB, who would in reality be the one to cash in on them. But those complications are for later. Tonight was one hell of a PPV.

My Score: 9/10

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Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (3/28/25)

SmackDown in the UK!

Published

on

London calling to the champion crowns!

SmackDown brings gold to London as LA Knight defends his WWE US Championship and The Street Profits defend their tag team titles! Will the landscape change this close to WrestleMania?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • WWE Tag Team Championships: The Street Profits VS Pretty Deadly; The Profits win and retain the titles.
  • Kayden Carter & Katana Chance VS The Secret Her-vice w/ Chelsea Green; The Secret Her-vice wins.
  • WWE United States Championship: LA Knight VS Braun Strowman; Braun wins, by disqualification, and Knight retains the title.
  • Charlotte Flair VS Mia Yim w/ B-Fab; Charlotte wins.
  • Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre; McIntyre wins.
  • Jimmy Uso VS The Miz; Jimmy wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Cody Rhodes is here!

We follow The American Nightmare as walks to gorilla, then through the curtain, and London sings along with the song, “WHOA~ OH~!” Cody gets his pyro, says hello to fans along the ramp, and then we get the second “WHOA~ OH~!” and pyro. Cody goes to the ring, grabs a mic, then kneels down to kiss the WWE logo on the mat. The fans continue to sing along all the way to the end, “I AM MY KINGDOM!” The fans then cheer, and Cody holds up the belt to fire them up even more! The fans now sing for “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” and he soaks it in. The fans cheer again as Cody smiles, and he finally says, “So, London~! Whaddya wanna talk about?”

The fans chant “Let’s Go, Cena!” “CENA SUCKS!” Cody hears that dueling, and he smiles again. The song of “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” returns, then they cheer. Cody says, “At WrestleMania 41, I will be facing John Cena…” The fans boo, but Cody says, “I will be facing John Cena as he goes to break the record and win 17. But that is WrestleMania 41. In just a few nights, I will be standing face to face with John Cena in this very same city, in this very same arena.” The fans cheer that, but then here comes Randy Orton! Now the fans sing along with Voices as The Viper heads to the ring. Orton also high-fives fans before he joins Cody.

Orton grabs a mic, paces while the fans keep singing on their own, and then the fans cheer. Orton says he’s not really the sentimental type, but for Cody and for London, screw it. The fans chant “R K O! R K O!” and Orton tells Cody, “Look at you. Look at who you are now, the man you are now. Look at where he came from.” The fans cheer and sing “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” and Orton says he remembers a Cody in his early 20s, just breaking into the business. Cody was busting his ass harder than anyone else. He wasn’t exactly happy, and in fact, he was frustrated. But Cody was man enough, smart enough, to know he needed to grow, and that he couldn’t grow in the WWE.

Cody wasn’t exactly treated fairly in the WWE, so Cody left the WWE! That took some big ass balls to do what he did! Cody changed the business singlehandedly, and everyone in the back knows it. And Orton appreciates Cody for it. But then Cody came back, as they all knew one day he would. And the industry has been changed forever since the day Cody came back to the WWE. Cody is a bit teary eyed as Orton says Cody’s still the same guy, he just did what he set out to do, and he grew. Orton teases he would sing along with the fans, but the fans might leave. The fans again sing “CODY! CODY RHODES~!”

Orton asks if they remember when Cody Rhodes faced Seth Rollins in Hell in a Cell. The fans cheer because they do. Orton says that was impressive, and even impossible, as he started with a partially torn pec and then ended with a fully torn pec! His body changed all kinds of shades of purple that Orton’s never seen on a human body. The pain he must have been in. Cody persevered not just for himself. Maybe not even at all for Cody. It was not even for his family legacy; it was for each and every single fan out there! Then Cody went on to WrestleMania, beat Roman Reigns and finished the story!

But there’s always another story, isn’t there? And Cody’s right in the middle of one. Cody is in charge of his legacy, and it is a privilege for Orton to watch Cody take control of it. Ticket sales have been up, there’s more intrigue around the world, and listen to the people! It is 99.9% all because of Cody! The fans cheer that, and of course they sing. Orton says what he’s trying to say is a long-winded version of he respects Cody, loves him, and is very, very proud of him. The fans cheer that! Orton then says, “But… But now it is time for WrestleMania.” They both look to the sign, and Orton says he can guarantee Cody that Orton will kick Kevin Owens so hard in the head…!

Orton can just feel it already! He forgets how many days are left, but he can’t wait to remove Kevin’s head from his shoulders. And Orton knows Cody will enter champion, exit champion, but not before he beats the holy hell outta Cena all up and down the Vegas strip! But after all the smoke clears and the dust settles, just like Orton wants Number 17, there will come a time when Orton will want Number 15. But Orton won’t kick Cody in the balls like a coward. Orton will look Cody in the eye because he respects Cody, is proud of Cody, and sees him as an equal. Orton will look Cody in the eye and tell him that he’s coming for the title.

The fans cheer but wait! Drew McIntyre is here! The fans cheer the Scottish Terminator as he steps out on stage, mic in hand, and has a wry smile on his face as he looks at the ring. Drew waves as the fans now sing, “OH~ Drew McIntyre~!” Drew says, “Isn’t this wonderful? A couple of nepo babies having a love fest in the middle of the ring> It makes me absolutely sick. What’d you just say, Randy? if Cody gets through Cena at WrestleMania, you’re coming for that title? What exactly have you done since that big comeback to justify that title match? Aside be Randy Orton. The only big moment I can remember is you being on the shelf for months and months and months.

“People like to make jokes about it, but more people talk about my five-minute-45-second title reign than your entire comeback so far! So get to the back of the line, sunshine! As for you, Cody, you should’ve listened to me. But you shunned me. You attacked me. Everybody should’ve listened to me about John Cena, but they didn’t. And the next night, he kicked you right in the twig ‘n’ berries, proving me right as usual. And the main event of WrestleMania should be Cody Rhodes VS The UK’s only ever world champion, Drew McIntyre!” Fans do like that idea. But sadly, it’s not, because of that guyliner wearing Temu Undertaker, Damian Priest!

Drew wants to talk about what is happening. And what’s gonna happen! Drew steps up to the ring while fans sing for him again. Drew says it will not be Randy that takes the title from Cody, should he get through Cena; it’ll be McIntyre. The fans cheer, but Orton says they were trying to have a moment. Can Drew just cut the crap already? Drew says okay, sure. He’ll tell the truth, because that’s all he ever does. The truth is, Kevin might have a point! If those Voices are talking to Orton again, then they know Drew very, very well. And he’s thinking, “My God, Randy looks great! Absolutely jacked! On the outside.

On the inside, that back is hanging by a thread. And if Orton provokes McIntyre, McIntyre will break him. And as for Cody- Cody kicks Drew and UPPERCUTS him! The fans fire up, and Orton R- NO, Drew gets away! The fans boo, but the battlelines are drawn! Even if Cody makes it out of the frying pan that is Las Vegas, it’ll be into the fire that is these contenders waiting in line! Will the American Nightmare be ready for whoever comes for the crown?

 

WWE Tag Team Championships: The Street Profits VS Pretty Deadly!

Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins are finally golden again, but it’s time to put the titles on the line already! And while they’re ready for the grind, they’re up against the hometown heroes! Will the Profits still be up in the O2? Or will Kit Wilson & Elton Prince say #YESBOY to a new reign of their own?

The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see who really wants the smoke!

The teams sort out and Kit starts with Dawkins. They tie up, Dawkins headlocks, but Kit powers up and out. Dawkins runs Kit over, the fans fire up, and Dawkins fires hands on Kit in the corner! The fans rally for Pretty Deadly, Dawkins whips Kit to a corner, but Elton takes that bump! Kit CLOBBERS Dawkins, then tags Elton! Atomic drop into DROPKICK! Ford runs up, but into a DOUBLE HIP TOSS! Dawkins whips, Elton reverses, and then Elton hurdles so Kit can DDT! The fans fire up with Pretty Deadly while the Profits bail out. Pretty Deadly has control while SmackDown goes picture in picture.

Elton is right on Dawkins as he gets in, and UPPERCUTS him to the corner. Elton clinches Dawkins for another UPPERCUT! Tag to Kit, and Elton RAMS into Dawkins so Kit can UPPERCUT! Dawkins flops over, Kit drags him up to wrench the arm. Kit whips, Dawkins reverses, but Kit grabs ropes. Kit ELBOWS Dawkins, DECKS Ford, but Dawkins CLOBBERS Kit! The ref reprimands but Dawkins RAMS Kit into the corner again and again! The ref counts, Dawkins fires fast hands, then he tags in Ford. Ford says, “SUCK IT!” then he KICKS Kit! Ford scuffs Kit, then drags him to a cover, TWO!

Ford keeps Kit down with a facelock, but Kit endures the grind. Kit fights up, fires body shots, but Ford whips him away. Kit sunset flips! Ford rolls through, and PENALTY KICKS! Ford mocks Elton with the Scott Hall fingers, and the ref has to keep Elton back. Ford drags Kit up, tags Dawkins, and the Profits mug Kit. Dawkins CLUBS Kit down, then stalks him. Dawkins stays between Kit and Elton, then whips Kit into the Profits’ corner. CYCLONE- NO, Kit dodges! Ford tags in, he keeps Kit from Elton now, but Kit slips out of the suplex! Kit fakes high to go low, hot tag to Elton! Elton rallies with LARIAT after LARIAT!

Elton kicks and whips Ford to a corner, then UPPERCUTS! Elton whips the other way, UPPERCUTS again, and then does it again! Elton adds to the hattrick with a lift, Ford says a quick prayer before the SUPLEX! Ford flounders, gets to his feet, but Elton dodges to springboard and FLYING UPPERCUT! Cover, TWO! Ford stays in this, but Elton stays on him. SmackDown returns to single picture and fans rally for Pretty Deadly as Elton gives Ford a back suplex. Ford lands out, waistlocks, but Elton switches and shoves Ford. Ford CLOBBERS Elton in return! Ford is also dazed but he covers, ONE!

Kit reaches out, Elton and Ford both crawl, hot tags to Kit and Dawkins! The fans fire up as Dawkins wrenches Kit, underhooks and SILENCER! Dawkins Electric Chair Lifts Kit, Ford climbs, but Kit slips free! Kit shoves Dawkins into Ford! Ford falls to the floor, but Dawkins ENZIGIRIS Kit! Elton tags in, and Kit LARIATS Dawkins! Pretty Deadly combine for DRY MARTI-KNEES! Cover, TWO!! Dawkins survives and the Profits are a bit unsure of what to do next. Dawkins crawls to a corner, Elton runs up, but Dawkins dodges! Elton hits buckles and Dawkins TOSSES Kit, then Dawkins hits a SKY HIGH on Elton!

Dawkins hurries to tag Ford and Ford climbs up! But Kit pushes Elton out of the way! Kit takes FROM THE HEAVESN, and Elton ghost pins Ford! TWO!! Ford escapes, and he ROCKS Elton! Elton UPPERCUTS Ford! Dawkins sneaks a tag, Ford SUPERKICKS! POUNCE SAIDO COMBO!! Cover, KIT BREAKS IT! The fans fire up while all four men are down! The teams go to opposite ends, then they all stand up in the corners. They all roar, all run in, and Kit SPEARS Ford while Elton FLYING UPPERCUTS Dawkins!! London is thunderous, and Kit hurries to tag in! Pretty Deadly gets Dawkins up, for SPILT MILK!! Cover, FORD BREAKS IT!

The fans are shocked, as is Elton, but Ford saves this for his team! “This is Awesome!” as Ford runs up and Elton TOSSES him out! Now DRY MARTI- NO! Dawkins doesn’t accept the second serving, and he DUMPS Kit out! Kit skins the cat while Dawkins DECKS Elton! Dawkins catches Kit to an Electric Chair! Ford rises, DOOMSDAY BLOCKBUSTER!! Cover, Profits win!

Winners: The Street Profits, by pinfall (still WWE Tag Team Champions)

Pretty Deadly put up a heroic fight, but the hometown heroes could not capture the gold. Dawkins & Ford hold onto the gold, will this be the strongest the Profits have ever been?

 

Kayden & Katana talk with Zelina Vega.

Carter & Chance know La Muneca got screwed over by The Green Administration. Chelsea thinks she’s untouchable, but someone’s gonna stop them eventually. Well, speaking of, Alba Fyre leads the way in as she & Piper Niven “scope the perimeter.” There’s one small threat. They frisk the “miniscule” threat, but nothing they haven’t dealt with before. Chelsea struts in and says, “The Eagle has landed~!” Zelina says she is so glad the “Bootleg Men in Black” have crashed the party. Now, yeah, they all know she’s small. But clearly this small “threat” is a big threat to Chelsea’s title reign. Otherwise, it wouldn’t have taken all three of them to beat her.

KC Squared agree with that. How about tonight, we see what happens when the odds are even? Chelsea says that’s fine, because Agents P & A are ready. The Secret Her-vice has been given their next mission, but will they be able to crash the party? Or will the party crash them?

Kayden Carter & Katana Chance VS The Secret Her-vice!

SmackDown returns and The Green Administration makes their entrance. The teams sort out, Alba starts against Katana, and the two tie up. Alba KNEES low, CLUBS Katana down, then fireman’s carries. Katana fights free, tags Kayden, and they KICK, double whip, and then trip Alba up for the basement DROPKICK! Katana adds a slingshot SENTON, Kayden covers, TWO! Kayden tags Katana, they double whip Alba to a corner, then Kayden runs in. Alba DUMPS Kayden out, ROCKS Katana, and she tags Piper! Katana arm-drags Alba out, then goes out to run up. Kayden gives her a boost, Katana CROSSBODIES Alba down!

The fans fire up, but Piper goes up and out?! CANNONBALL and down goes KC Squared! Piper salutes Chelsea and SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns, Kayden rallies on Alba while the fans rally up. Kayden fires up, runs in and whips, but Alba reverses. Kayden wheelbarrows, victory rolls, then SUPERKICKS! Kayden fires up again but the fans are torn. Kayden runs in at Alba to BOOT WASH her against the ropes! Chelsea protests, Kayden kicks at her, then Kayden springboards for a LEG DROP! Cover, TWO! Alba survives, Kayden whips, but Alba KICKS back! Tag to Piper, but Kayden jackknife bridges Alba! The ref explains bout the tag, Piper runs up, but Kayden moves! The SENTON hits Alba! Piper panics, Kayden tags Katana!

Katana goes up onto Kayden’s shoulders, VICTORY ROLL LAUNCHER, but Piper catches Katana! Katana fires hands, BOOTS, and then hurries to go up again. Kayden ROCKS Piper, and fireman’s carries?! SAMOAN DROP! Kayden then gives Katana the boost, for the KEG STAND SPLASH!! Cover, ALBA BREAKS IT! Kayden runs up on Alba to BOOT her out! Katana gives Kayden the boost now, SUPER CROSSBODY onto Alba! Kayden hurries to tag back in, and she brings Piper up. Piper swings, Kayden dodges and SUPERKICKS! Katana goes up, Piper staggers over that way, but Chelsea distracts the ref!

The fans are torn as Alba grabs Katana. Katana kicks Alba down, chases Chelsea off, but Piper sends Kayden into her! Piper scoops to PIPER DRIVER!! Cover, Secret Her-vice wins!

Winner: The Secret Her-vice, by pinfall

The Women’s US Champion helps her team, and now they all mug Kayden & Katana! But here comes Zelina! Vega runs down the ramp, CLOBBERS Alba, and then she gets in the ring! Zelina tilt-o-whirl DDTS Piper! And she KNEES Alba off the apron! But Chelsea CLOBBERS Zelina! Chelsea fires up, the UK is oddly with her, and she chicken wings Zeina. But Zelina fights free to fire forearms and body shots! And a BACK ELBOW! Zelina reels Chelsea in, CODE- SUPERKICK from Alba! SENTON from Piper! The Green Administration is just too much for Zelina to fight against alone! But can she, Kayden & Katana find a way to turn things around?

 

WWE United States Championship: LA Knight VS Braun Strowman!

Did the Mega Star just get this title back from Shinsuke Nakamura? YEAH! Did he help the Monster of All Monsters fight off Solo Sikoa’s rouge bloodline? YEAH! And now, does he have to defend this title against the monster he just helped? YEAH!! But will Knight still reign this close to WrestleMania? Or will Braun #GetTheseHands back on a championship?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and it’s time for Knight’s biggest challenge, YEAH!

The bell rings and the fans rally up as the two circle. The two tie up, and Braun SHOVES Knight away. Knight comes back, Braun SHOVES him down again! Knight gets up, gets around, and he headlocks. Braun powers up to back suplex, but Knight lands out! Knight tries but Braun’s too big to suplex! Braun ELBOWS Knight, storms up on him, but Knight fires haymakers! Knight whips, Braun reverses, but Knight KICKS back! Knight runs, but Braun HIP TOSSES! Cover, TWO! Knight stays in this, but Braun brings him up. Braun puts Knight in a corner, CHOPS, then runs, for a SPLASH! Knight sputters along ropes, Braun keeps moving, but Knight DUMPS him out!

The fans fire up as Knight then WRECKS Braun with a dropkick! Knight keeps moving, and he WRECKS Braun again! The fans fire up with Knight, but then Braun BOOTS Knight down! The fans are torn but Braun stands tall as SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and Braun puts Knight back in the ring. The fans cheer as Knight KICKS Braun! Knight tries again, but Braun’s still too big to back suplex! Braun CLUBS Knight, then runs in at the corner. Knight BOOTS Braun, goes up, and FLYING BULLDOGS! Both men are down and the fans fire up! Knight and Braun rise back up, and Knight dodges a shot to JAB! Then he dodges to JAB! JAB! JAB! “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” But Braun KNEES low! Braun scoops, Knight slips free, and Knight RAMS Braun into buckles! Then the BACK SUPLEX! The fans fire up and Knight rises again! Knight spells it out, “L! A! KNIGHT! YEAH!” ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO!

Braun has plenty left in the tank but the fans rally for Knight. Knight stands Braun up to kick low, but Braun THROWS Knight away! Knight rises, and Braun LARIATS Knight up and out! The fans fire up as Braun rips the shirt! Braun gets on the track, and he runs in, STROWMAN EXPRESS MEETS JACOB FATU!! The Samoan Werewolf strikes Braun down!

Winner: Braun Strowman, by disqualification; LA Knight retains the title

The fans boo as Jacob now goes after Knight! He just ruined what was becoming a great match, but Jacob fires HEADBUTT after HEADBUTT on Braun! SAMOAN DROP onto the desk!! The desk doesn’t budge, but Braun might’ve been broken in half! The UK fires up for Fatu as he puts Braun in the ring! Jacob fires more HEADBUTTS, then HEADBUTTS away on Braun in the corner! The fans sing “OLE~ OLE OLE OLE, FATU~, FATU~!” Jacob runs corner to corner, but Knight kicks him first! Knight fires haymakers, “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” Jacob denies the BFT to POP-UP SAMOAN DROP! And then HIP ATTACK for Braun anyway!

Jacob keeps going, HIP ATTACK for Braun again! Jacob throws off his jacket, glares at Braun, and he runs in for a third HIP ATTACK! Braun flounders into the drop zone, so Jacob goes up, up, BEST MOONSAULT EVER! Direct hit on Braun, but the fans want that “ONE MORE TIME!” Jacob obliges, BEST MOONSAULT EVER! The Samoan Werewolf just tore up #OneBigSOB and LA Knight, will there be no stopping him from taking the United States Championship?

 

Backstage interview with Jimmy Uso.

Jackie Redmond is with #BigJim, and she says that while she knew WWE was going global this month, she did not know they’d get the slap heard ’round the world! Jimmy says he’d do it again, and he’ll slap Gunther as many times as he needs! Jimmy knows Jey is up in his own head, doubt is creeping on him. But just because Jey’s 0-3 against Gunther doesn’t mean Gunther’s unbeatable! The Ring General CAN be got! Jimmy’s going to Raw this Monday, he will bust Gunther’s ass, Jey will go to Mania and bust Gunther’s ass to become the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. And then they leave Las Vegas just like this: YEET!

Jimmy heads out, but then The Miz & Carmelo Hayes walk by. Miz is mocking Jimmy’s words, and he asks excuse me. Miz says it’s just funny that suddenly, Jimmy is a tough guy, even though for most of his career, he’s been “The Other Uso.” Doesn’t Jimmy get it? Jimmy and Jey are career sidekicks while Gunther is a main character. Gunther is the lead, neither Jimmy nor Jey can beat him. And here’s another thing: The Usos are just blips on the trailer that was Roman Reigns’ Bloodline. Melo says Jimmy & Jey are stuck outside the club, they can’t even get in.

Miz says as a former WWE Champion, a former WrestleMania main eventer, Jimmy will never know what it is to carry this industry. And after this year’s WrestleMania, neither will Jey. Oh, and by the way, if Jimmy ever slapped Miz like that, Jimmy would still be on the ground. Jimmy feints the slap and Miz freaks out. Jimmy says it may be him and Gunther on Monday, but he’ll holler at Aldis real quick so it can be Jimmy VS Miz here tonight. Yeah, YEET! Jimmy heads out, Melo says he thought Miz was gonna do something about the slap. Will Miz have to do something about running his mouth before he gets his teeth kicked in?

 

Solo Sikoa & Tama Tonga find Jacob Fatu backstage.

Solo asks Jacob what the Hell he was doing out there. Jacob goes out there alone without saying a thing to them? Jacob says he ain’t gotta say nothing to nobody! Matter fact, didn’t Solo not tap in with him last week? Tama says, “But Jacob,” only for Jacob to say, “But nothing, Tama!” Solo wants Jacob to lower his tone, but Jacob says okay. Let him be very clear with them. When it comes to Braun Strowman, Jacob WILL be the last man standing. Y’all better get in where you fit in, cuz that US title? Oh, Jacob’s bringing it home to the family. And he will do it with them, or without them! Yadada mean? Fatu heads out, is the Samoan Werewolf no longer following Solo?

 

Naomi speaks.

“I mean… How did we even get here? I don’t know. One thing that I do know is that I’ve always been the woman to do the right thing. I’ve always been the woman to do the right thing. So Bianca, what makes you think that my attack on Jade was anything different from me doing the right thing? When I sit here and I think about all that I’ve sacrificed, all that I’ve given, and that’s what really breaks my heart. Because through all of that, I’m made to be the bad one in this situation. I just don’t understand, how does Jade come in outta nowhere and take my place with you? I want you to ask yourself this, Bianca. Who inspired you? Hmm?

“Who’s inspired women over the last decade? Who’s always had your back from day one of you being here? Me. Not Jade. Hmm. But you know what? What I’ve learned through all of this: You teach people how to treat you. And I’m done with being treated as a third wheel. I’m done being pushed to the side, I’m done with being too nice, I’m done with being undervalued, underutilized, underappreciated! So moving forward, hmm… Moving forward, here’s my message to you, Jade. If you continue to be in my way, I strongly advise you to proceed with caution.” The Glow shows her dark side, but will the storm be moved?

 

Nick Aldis meets with Jade Cargill.

Speaking of, the SmackDown General Manager understands things have been rather difficult for her as of late. Jade says she’s been trying to get her hands on Naomi for the past few weeks, now where is she? No one has seen her all day, so as far as anyone knows, Naomi’s not here. Well, when Jade catches Naomi, it’s on sight. Jade leaves, B-Fab & Michin are there. They let her know that what Naomi did to her was straight trash, totally uncalled for behavior. And after Jade gets her hands on Naomi, she’ll handle that business. Jade agrees. Mia says they’ve all got business to handle. Jade’s got Naomi, and Mia’s gonna get Charlotte for messing with her girl, B.

B-Fab says Naomi’s got what’s coming to her: no sympathy, no regrets. Jade, just do what you gotta do. Oh, she will. Jade also wishes Mia luck tonight. Mia & B-Fab head out, will the Head Baddie in Charge make the Queen bow down in London?

 

The darkness approaches.

“You are as I was. As I am, you will be.” The shadows are starting to take shape, but is SmackDown about to fade to black?

 

Charlotte Flair VS Mia Yim w/ B-Fab!

The Queen looks down on everyone, so it’s no surprise that everyone else wants to take her down. Charlotte may have checked off B-Fab, but will the HBIC be a much different story? Or will Charlotte only sharpen her edge before facing Tiffany Stratton at WrestleMania?

WAIT! NAOMI ATTACKS B-FAB & MICHIN! Naomi drags Mia up for a FACEBUSTER! Naomi rains down fists, the ref reprimands and the fans boo, but Naomi tells the ref to back off. Naomi then BOOTS B-Fab off the apron! Naomi goes out after B-Fab to THRWO her into barriers! Naomi SLAPS B-Fab, tells her to stay down, but B-Fab gets up. Naomi fires hands, then she SMACKS B-Fab off the desk! Naomi rains down fists, but here comes Jade! Jade hurries down the ramp, she runs around the way, but Naomi runs away! Jade makes sure B-Fab is okay, but refs have to help her to the back. And what of Mia? Will she even be able to compete?

Charlotte makes her entrance, not really caring about what Naomi just did to Mia. But that means she also crosses paths with Jade. The fans like the look of this stare down, but Jade and Charlotte both let the other slide. Charlotte gets her pyro, and it seems she’ll still get her match. Will Mia be little more than an appetizer now?

The bell rings, and Charlotte BOOTS Mia down! Cover, TWO! Mia stays in this and the fans rally up. Charlotte just struts around while SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns, Charlotte has Mia down with a chinlock, but the fans rally up. Mia fights up, fires body shots, and she then blocks a shot to ROCK Charlotte! Mia ROCKS Charlotte again and again, then reels her in for a TORNADO DDT! The fans fire up as Mia hurries to cover, TWO! Mia drags Charlotte up, wrenches, but Charlotte says no to Da Feet! BIG back suplex! Mia stagger sup, Charlotte whips her, but Mia reverses! Charlotte goes up and out, BOOTS her away, then slingshots in and rolls Mia! Mia rolls through and BUZZSAWS! Mia runs corner to corner, but Charlotte avoids the cannonball!

Charlotte YAKUZA KICKS Mia down, then fires herself up! The fans “WOO~!” as Charlotte has Mia in the drop zone,. Charlotte steps on her, goes up the corner, but Mia gets underneath her! SIT-OUT POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! Charlotte survives and Mia is shocked! Mia nods as the fans rally back up, and she brings Charlotte up. But Charlotte ROCKS Mia! Mia SOBATS, PELES, and then runs to PENALTY KICK! Cover, TWO! Charlotte stays in this, Mia grows frustrated, but the fans continue to rally. Mia uses that energy to stay focused, and she stalks Charlotte to waistlock. But Charlotte ELBOWS her away!

Charlotte CHOPS, and CHOPS, and CHOSP! Charlotte winds up, and she CHOPS again! Mia sputters, but then she dodges the boot! Charlotte is caught, and Mia hits a SAIDO! Charlotte flounders to a corner, the fans rally behind Mia, and Mia runs up, CANNONBALL! Mia hurries to wrench and EAT- NO, Charlotte shoves Mia away! Charlotte gets under, back suplexes, but Mia lands out! EAT DA FEET!! Cover, ROPEBREAK!! Charlotte’s long legs help her survive by a literal foot! Mia is beside herself while Charlotte bails out. Mia storms after Charlotte, runs up, but Charlotte dodges! Mia’s kick hits steel steps!

Mia hobbles away, goes to the apron, but Charlotte CHOP BLOCKS the bad leg out! Charlotte grabs Mia’s leg, drops a KNEE on the knee, but fans chant, “We Want Tiffy!” Charlotte just steps through, FIGURE FOUR, into FIGURE EIGHT!! Mia taps, Charlotte wins!

Winner: Charlotte Flair, by submission

Charlotte got more of a fight out of Mia than expected, but she still won. Will The Queen be more than ready to reign again after WrestleMania?

 

Backstage interview with Tiffany Stratton.

Jackie Redmond is with the WWE Women’s Champion and says Charlotte certainly looks confident. Let’s be real, Charlotte came at Tiff pretty hard. It got a lot of people talking. Tiff says yes, people talk. And Charlotte sure loves to hear herself talk. Ten years into the business and Charlotte is still so insecure that she can’t let a “rookie” get a word out. But last week, Tiff did learn something: She learned that walking into WrestleMania, she isn’t the one with something to lose. Truth is, if Tiff loses, then she lost to the great Charlotte Flair, as just a 25-year-old rookie with one year into SmackDown.

But if Charlotte loses… Well, then she lost to an “undeserving, delusional, unoriginal, backflip doing, blonde-hair-having, little girl.” Did she get it all? And Tiff can’t wait to hear the look on Charlotte’s face when they hear the words, “And STILL!” Then maybe Charlotte will finally shut up for the sake of literally everyone! They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, and Tiff will make damn sure what stays is Charlotte’s massive ego. Tiff is walking into and out of Mania as the WWE Women’s Champion. Tootles! Tiff heads out, will it still be #TiffyTime after WrestleMania?

 

Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre!

The Viper told Cody how proud he was, but also how he wants the next shot after John Cena. The Scottish Terminator took offense to that, and basically said he is taking that shot instead. Will this match be an unofficial #1 contender’s match between these two former world champions?

SmackDown returns and McIntyre makes his entrance. The bell rings and the fans sing, “OH~, Drew McIntyre~!” and chant “R K O! R K O!” Drew and Orton circle, tie up, and they go around in a deadlock. Drew powers Orton to a corner, but Orton headlocks back. Drew powers up and out, then he runs Orton over! Orton hurries to ropes and Drew mockingly asks, “How’s the back feel, Randy?” Orton stands, he and Drew reset, and the fans duel some more. Drew calls for a knuckle lock, Orton accepts, but then Drew kicks low! Drew bumps Orton off buckles, then climbs up, but he panders for too long and Orton YANKS him down!

The fans fire up as Orton climbs now! Orton rains down fists, and the fans count to nine. Orton hops down, brings Drew around, and POSTS him for ten! Drew tumbles out of the ring, Orton goes out after him, and they’re by the desk! But Drew kicks Orton first and SMACKS him off the desk! Drew clears the desk, and he brings Orton up for the DESK- NO, Orton fights free! Orton turns things around, DESK BACK SUPLEX for Drew! The fans fire up while Orton leaves Drew behind, and SmackDown goes picture in picture.

Drew writhes on the floor, but Orton goes out to fetch him! Orton brings Drew around, UPPERCUTS him, then says one more time! DESK BACK SUPLEX! Drew writhes as that desk stays standing! Orton grins, refreshes the ring count, and then he storms up on Drew. Drew pokes Orton in the eye! Drew POSTS Orton now, then brings him around to RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP into barriers! Orton slumps down, and Drew also grits his teeth from that double-edged attack, but Drew fires up as he stands tall. Drew drags Orton up, puts him in the ring, then stalks Orton. Drew looms over Orton, and HIP DROPS him!

Orton sputters, Drew says one more time, and he winds up for the HIP DROP! Drew paces around Orton, says maybe one more time, and he pretends he can’t hear the fans. Drew winds up again, but Orton flips over! Hip drop meets kneecaps! And then Orton pokes Drew in the eyes! The ref reprimands but Orton rises up. Drew sputters and flounders, Orton ROCKS him with a right! Drew ROCKS Orton back! Drew storms up, Orton kicks low, but Drew fires another haymaker! The haymakers go back and forth, Orton gets the edge, but Drew GLASGOW KISS HEADBUTTS! Cover, TWO! Drew clamps onto Orton with an armlock!

SmackDown returns to single picture and the fans rally up. Orton fights up, pries at the chinbar, and then throws right hands! Drew CHOPS Orton in return! The fans “WOO~” and Drew winds up. Drew ROCKS Orton again, eggs him on, then CHOPS again! Drew shoves Orton to a corner, CHOPS again, then dares Orton to fight! Drew whips corner to corner, but Orton comes back to LARIAT! And LARIAT! Drew swings, Orton dodges, SNAP POWERSLAM! The fans fire up as Orton stalks Drew to the apron. Drew HOTSHOTS Orton first! Drew then runs in, but Orton puts him through the ropes!

The fans fire up as Orton has Drew for the DRAPING DDT! The fans fire up for Orton, and Orton hears those voices! Drew rises, but then Orton spots KEVIN OWENS! The Prizefighter is on the ramp, Orton glares at him, but then he turns around into a CLAYMORE!! Cover, DREW WINS!

Winner: Drew McIntyre, by pinfall

Kevin’s mere presence costs Orton, and now Drew has a huge win propelling him down the Road to WrestleMania! As for Orton, Kevin drags him out of the ring, SMACKS him off the desk, and then climbs up to join him! The fans boo but Kevin and his hot pink sneakers have Orton in position, but Orton slips free and TRIPS Kevin up! Kevin hits the desk then the floor! Orton staggers around, the fans rally behind him, and Orton stalks Kevin to the corner of the barriers. Orton lines up the shot! Orton runs in, but Kevin jumps over barriers! Security is there to stop Orton from pursuing, so Kevin runs away into the night!

The fans boo, but The Viper was that close! Will Orton be able to strike Kevin down and completely take him out?

 

Fire, thunder, smoke…

The force of nature is drawing ever closer. And he’s ready to fly! REY FENIX arrives next Friday Night SmackDown!

 

Jimmy Uso VS The Miz!

#BigJim gave Gunther a piece of his mind and a mark on his cheek, but it seems not everyone got the message. Will the Hollywood A-lister soon star in the Uso Penitentiary? Or will he prove Jimmy is NOT ready for a world champion level opponent?

The bell rings and the two tie up. Jimmy powers Miz to a corner, Miz turns things around, and the ref counts. Miz takes a swing, Jimmy ducks it to CHOP! And CHOP! Miz shoves Jimmy back, then runs up, but Jimmy TACKLES Miz! Jimmy rains down fists, Miz shoves him away to go to ropes, but Jimmy storms back up. Miz ELBOWS Jimmy away, then runs back up, only for Jimmy to LARIAT him down! The fans fire up while Jimmy storms up on Miz. Jimmy CHOPS Miz, has him in a corner, then whips corner to corner. Miz reverses, Jimmy goes up and over, then UPPERCUTS! Miz staggers back to ropes, but Jimmy is right on him.

Jimmy whips, Miz reverses and kitchen sink knees! Then basement BOOTS! The fans fire up, Miz scowls, and Miz KNEES Jimmy in the back again and again. Miz stalks Jimmy to the ropes now, and he CHOKES Jimmy! The ref counts, Miz runs, and Miz STRADDLE ATTACKS! The fans boo, but Miz runs again. Jimmy ducks the boot, then dodges a lariat! Jimmy runs up to LARIAT Miz up and out! The fans fire up and Jimmy builds speed, but Miz runs away! Jimmy smirks as he goes out the side, and UPPERCUTS Miz over the barriers! Jimmy makes sure Gunther knows he’s coming to get him, but SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and both men are down. Miz and Jimmy crawl, and Jimmy pounds the mat. The fans rally, Jimmy rises and runs up to LARIAT! And LARIAT! And mule kick! Jimmy then UPPERCUTS Miz, dodges a lariat, then SAMOAN DROPS! The fans fire up, Jimmy goes to the corner, “UCE! OH!” Jimmy runs in, but Miz puts him on the apron! Jimmy UPPERCUTS again! Jimmy climbs, leaps, but Miz gets under! Miz then waistlocks, ripcords, and MOVIE MAKER! Fans boo that blatant parody, but Miz full nelsons! Jimmy drops, victory rolls, TWO! Miz has the cover, TWO! Miz hurries to BASEMENT DDT! Cover, TWO!

The fans rally up as Jimmy survives! Miz stalks Jimmy, the fans rally up more, and Miz fires a KICK! And then another KICK! The fans say “YES! YES! YES!” to the It Kicks, but then Miz winds up. Jimmy ducks the buzzsaw, Miz blocks the superkick, but the DRAGON WHIP connects! Miz rebounds to B-MOVIE KNEE!! Cover, TWO!! The parodies don’t get it done, but Miz still has his original work to fall back on. The fans rally for “UCE! OH! UCE! OH!” Miz runs in, A-LIST LARIAT! Miz shoves Jimmy down, then springboards, but into a SUPERKICK! Jimmy hurries up top, for the USO SPLASH!! Cover, Jimmy wins!

Winner: Jimmy Uso, by pinfall

Miz may be a movie star, but Big Jim’s the one winning this main event! Jimmy then borrows Joe Tessitore’s headset to call out Gunther! He’s coming after dat ass on Monday! Gunther won’t be the ring general, he will be “Private Gunther,” and he will salute Big Jim! Uh, uh, YEET! Will Jimmy be the one making examples out of the World Heavyweight Champion? Or will everything come crashing down when Gunther gets his turn?

 

Drew McIntyre returns backstage.

And he says hey to Lewis Capaldi, the Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter, and also a big fan of Drew’s. They’re ready to have a good night in the pub, but Jackie Redmond walks over to congratulate him on the win tonight. She was hoping to get some thoughts on that victory and what happened with Orton and Kevin. Drew says it’s alright, this is what happens. He doesn’t care about anybody else’s business, but no one gets away with screwing him over. And when no one meddles in his business, he wins! Drew called out Priest, where is he? Priest doesn’t have the balls! So time to get mad in the pubs, everyone’s invited!

Drew turns the corner, but PRIEST IS THERE! Priest ROCKS Drew, SMACKS him off the door, then throws him into road cases! Priest ROCKS Drew, SMACKS him off the trunk of a car, and then again! Or since it’s London, “the boot.” The driver complains, but Priest BODY SLAMS that guy through a table! Drew comes back to KNEE Priest low, SMACK him off the trunk, and then off the side! They go to the hood, or bonnet for UK. Drew drags Priest up, but Priest CLAWS Drew’s eyes! Priest then sends Drew SOUTH OF HEAVEN through the windshield! Priest tells security that he’s done for now. Any more jokes, Drew? Didn’t think so! RIP, jackass!

Priest leaves, the producers hurry to help Drew, and Drew’s got glass in his eye! Will that glass help Drew see why he shouldn’t piss off the Punisher?

 

CM Punk heads to gorilla.

He has a security detail with him, and he passes by Drew writhing in pain. Punk chuckles, then continues on. Will his contract signing with Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins be just as brutal? We find out, after the break.

 

Nick Aldis is in the ring.

The SmackDown General Manager welcomes us back, and says it is his honor and privilege to be here in the O2 in London. Now, we all know why he and this table is here, and why additional security is here tonight. Tonight, we are here to sign a contract for a Triple Threat. Perhaps the biggest Triple Threat in the history of WrestleMania: Seth Rollins VS CM Punk VS Roman Reigns! The fans cheer all those names, and here comes the OTC! London puts the ones up, and Paul Heyman accompanies THE Tribal Chief out on stage. Roman raises his finger to the sky for the pyro, then security follows him to the ring.

SmackDown goes picture in picture as Roman’s entrance continues, and he raises his finger to the sky for the second round of pyro. Roman steps into the ring, SmackDown returns to single picture, and Heyman hands him a mic. The fans sing, “ROMAN! ROMAN REIGNS~!” Roman nods, the fans cheer, and now they chant, “O T C! O T C!” Roman tells London, “ACKNOWLEDGE ME!” The fans cheer again, and again chant, “O T C! O T C!” Roman smiles, but he sees the chairs are not to his liking. Heyman makes sure to put one at the head of the table. Heyman also dusts the chair off while Roman enjoys the singing of, “ROMAN! ROMAN REIGNS~!”

Roman takes a seat and says that was beautiful. The way they sing to their Tribal Chief, it’s just beautiful. The singing continues, and Heyman even joins in! Roman smiles, and he says that is what he’s talking about. That’s the OTC for you, baby! The biggest star on the planet! The OTC came here for two reasons. One: to be acknowledged; check! And two: to sign this contract. Roman does just that, and he says he’s checked both boxes. That means- “BURN IT DOWN!” Seth Rollins interrupts! The fans now sing, “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~!” Rollins struts out in his red wine paisley suit and conducts the O2 Choir all the way into the ring.

The fans cheer while Roman frowns, but Rollins takes the seat to Roman’s left. Rollins offers Heyman a chance to sing to this song, but Heyman frowns. Rollins chuckles, and he says the fans do have beautiful singing voices. He doesn’t know why Roman is in such a hurry to leave, though! This is their building! There’s a lot of history here! 12 years ago, they landed on the roof of this place in a helicopter! They came down those stairs over there, “ready to burn down the old guard!” They put the Undertaker down through the desk, and they were going to remake this company in their image!

Now don’t get him wrong, Rollins knows a lot has happened since then. They fought against each other, with each other, a little bit of love and a whole lot of hate. But Rollins dare says, as the fans continue to sing “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~,” that Rollins and Roman accomplished their mission. The fans start to chant for CM Punk, but Rollins tunes them out. Roman says, “We? We? You keep saying we. Our mission? We died a long time ago. It’s only been ME. You been here, but I done all the work! I’ve made this place what it is today! I took us to the level that we are here today! I made this place better than we found it!

“I’m the one that made us desirable to Netflix! I’m the one that took us into billion-dollar deals! Tell me, what have you done?” Rollins shouts, “I’ll tell you what I’ve done! YOU, YOU, YOU, it’s that mindset that keeps me having to screw you! You understand that? And your biggest mistake is not understanding the danger that’s right in front of us! The danger that’s right in front of you! You let the biggest snake in the world, CM Punk, into the garden! And you could’ve cut his head off at WarGames! But instead, you shook his hand. You could’ve let me finish him inside the cage at The Garden, but you didn’t. And now, I am left to do what I always do: Clean up your mess, again.”

Rollins drops his mic, picks up the pen, and signs his part. And now, here comes CM PUNK! The fans fire up and sing along with Cult of Personality, then join in on saying, “IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME~!” Punk goes to the ring, but as he grabs a mic, he goes up a corner, just like he did last Friday. “I have come here to chew bubblegum and sign a contract. And I’m all outta bubblegum.” The fans cheer the Rowdy Roddy Piper reference, and Punk hops down to take his seat on Roman’s right. Punk looks over said contract, but Roman asks if Punk needs a highlighter or something. What’s he doing? Just go to page four, clause five.

Punk does as Roman says, but Roman says Punk needs to hurry, this is precious TV time. Punk reads the segment, Roman tells Heyman to just smarten Punk up. Heyman tells Punk he knows what Punk is looking for. It is in there. They’re closing the show at WrestleMania. The fans go wild hearing that! Heyman tells Punk that he gets to live his dream of dreams. CM Punk will be a WrestleMania main eventer! The fans cheer and while Roman smiles, Rollins is furious. Roman says, “One man’s dream is another man’s favor! CHECK!” Wait, this was the favor? Rollins says no! This is not something to laugh at, and Punk does not get to tear up!

Punk is NOT deserving! He does NOT deserve this! The fans boo but Rollins continues to throw a fit! Main eventing WrestleMania is SACRED, the most important thing in the world to Rollins! More than anything! Except the fact that Punk NEVER gets to main event! This is all Roman’s fault! This is all Heyman’s fault! Rollins THROWS his mic down, paces angrily, but Punk picks up the mic. The fans cheer Punk on again, and Punk stands to thank London, to thank Chicago, to thank Louisville, Kentucky, and to thank ALL the fans. As corny as it sounds, he thanks the WWE Universe who stood by him and chanted his name for TEN LONG YEARS!

Roman says hold on, hold on. Punk shouldn’t be thanking the fans! He should be thanking the Tribal Chief! It is because of Roman that Punk gets this honor! So please, take this moment, close the show with that acknowledgement! Do this the right way. The credits are already rolling as Punk kneels before Roman!? Punk smiles, and he thanks “My Tribal Chief, the holder of the ula fala, the Head of the Table, the… Big Dog? Thank you for allowing a kid from Chicago to be graced by your presence. Thank you, My Tribal Chief, for allowing me to stand in your ring. And thank you so much. Thank you, Roman Reigns, so very much.

“But because of you, I will see you in the main event of WrestleMania.” And again, Rollins is agonizing over this. Punk finishes putting his signature on the contract, and London tells him, “You Deserve It!” Punk thanks Roman again, and then says, “But that’s not the favor that I’m owed.” WHAT?! Roman looks at Heyman and Heyman can’t look him in the eye! If getting this Triple Threat made into the main event isn’t the gift of the Wise Man, then what is?!


My Thoughts:

A good SmackDown, but they pulled off quite the paradox. They made it feel like they were struggling to fill three hours, yet they also filled the show to the point where that contract signing segment was almost bleeding over the three hour mark. Ironically, part of the problem was just how excited the London crowd was for this. The superstars still wanted to enjoy the chants and songs, but that’s time SmackDown doesn’t have to spare. It made the opening promo from Cody, Orton and Drew take longer, and it kinda did the same to the contract signing at the end. Even so, we still got a very good promo, and good stuff to set up Orton VS McIntyre.

Orton VS McIntyre was a great match, but of course Kevin costs Orton. McIntyre gets his win, Kevin and Orton have a bit of a brawl, but of course Kevin ends up on the losing end and runs off. McIntyre’s trash talk also comes back to bite him as Priest gets the better of him in their brawl. Here’s hoping Drew didn’t actually get glass in his eye, but that being the thing in kayfabe can be some good stuff. I can imagine McIntyre with an eyepatch, and he takes it off at the opportune time to get the better of Priest in their match. Also what a fitting choice for Punk to be passing by Drew suffering because of real glass.

Very good title matches tonight, but of course the status quo was kept. Pretty Deadly gets to look great here in London, but the Profits only just got the belts, they’re not going to be transitional champions like that. And Knight VS Braun was really good stuff, but honestly, Jacob Fatu going after them both should’ve been a given. Jacob also had a great promo with Solo & Tama to start adding to that divide between Jacob and Solo. I would hope Solo doesn’t screw Jacob out of the US Championship, but it feels like he will as Solo won’t stand for Jacob defying his authority, even though Solo’s been trying to make Jacob the champion all along.

Very good stuff from Jimmy Uso tonight, from his promo with #MeloDon’tMiz and then a great match with Miz. Their match ended up the de facto main event match, so that’s also great for both guys. Great win for Jimmy, but that’s likely because Jimmy is losing big time to Gunther on Monday. And it might just be me, but it feels like only now is the Jey VS Gunther build really moving, largely in part because Jimmy got involved. Jimmy’s promo after his match is something along the lines of what Jey should be saying. But I suppose as brothers, Jimmy is the one who knows Jey best and knows what Jey needs to be motivated again. And seeing Jimmy get beat up by Gunther will definitely motivate Jey…

Good final vignettes for Rey Fenix and Aleister Black. I’m a little surprised they confirmed Rey Fenix is showing up next week, and that they confirmed who Rey Fenix even is. I believe commentary confirmed Rey Fenix is Penta’s real brother, even namedropped “Lucha Brothers,” but all that is still surprising considering Fenix is going to start on SmackDown. Aleister’s vignette (at least I am fairly confident it’s his) was giving us glimpses of his silhouette, but I think there was usage of AI in the snake imagery. It was fine they did it for El Grande Americano because that is all trolling, but they really should try and do things the old fashioned way of photoshop and stock imagery.

Very good stuff in the Women’s Division tonight, though the WWE Women’s Championship portion was the weaker. Naomi’s got a great Heel persona going, her promo was great, and her going after B-Fab & Michin over them supporting Jade was a great detail. Jade runs Naomi off, helps B-Fab, but there was no helping Michin in being fed to Charlotte. Tiffany had a decent promo, and it does fit how Charlotte kept her from speaking so she finally gets things out here. It didn’t really add that much, though, but they already gave us a great brawl so not sure what more they can give.

KC Squared VS The Secret Her-vice was a very good match, but of course Chelsea made sure her team won. A Six Woman Tag of Zelina & KC Squared VS The Green Administration is certainly coming, to help give us Zelina VS Chelsea for the Women’s US Championship.

My Score: 8.7/10

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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 3.27.2025

Bad news out of the TNA management side, but this is a taped episode from El Paso! So we won’t see any of the fallout just yet!

Published

on

Now we all heard the news about the TNA change in hierarchy, and I…have no positive outlook on that. Delirious sucked at booking and creative in the dying days of ROH before it got bought as a B show. Dreamer having even more control is concerning because his ideas the last two years haven’t been much better.

Gail leaving makes more sense to me. Be it firing or a “you can’t quit, you’re fired” kind of situation, the Knockouts division is the worst it’s been in a long time and Gail was close with Scott D’Amore. So I don’t think Gail parting ways is as big of a problem since TNA has slowly been bleeding out with the Scott faithful.

Granted, I think the next few shows were already taped before the firing so things shouldn’t be completely unwatchable for at least a week or two. So let’s see where we’re going.

Ratings:

  • Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley vs Elegance Clique w/Personal Concierge: Ash wins via Rarefied Air – ** 1/4
  • Fir$t Cla$$ & Frankie Kazarian vs Laredo Kid, Octagon Jr & Chavo Guerrero Jr: Chavo wins via Gory Bomb into Frog Splash – *** 1/4
  • Jacy Jayne vs Masha Slamovich: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – ***
  • Eric Young w/two losers vs Ace Austin: Eric wins via Piledriver – ** 1/2
  • Seto & Mokuba – I mean – Nic Nemeth w/Ryan Nemeth vs Leon Slater: Nic wins via Danger Zone – *** 1/4

 

Results:

Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley vs Elegance Clique w/Personal Concierge

Ash and Gigi start off, Gigi with a little Rascalz after her first takedown. So both her and Wentz are making it obvious something’s going on between them, and I’m not mad at it. Good for my man Wentz.

Tatum and Gigi get some quick tandem offense in, Ash does manage to scurry off to a tag and Heather gets bent into a Pretzel. Some kind of Inverted Tarantula from Tatum, Gigi tags in, Bronco Buster on Heather followed by Kawada Kicks. Heather sells against the ropes, Gigi goes for a Hesitation Dropkick, but Concierge pulls her away so Gigi crashes and burns. Ref is distracted, Ash gets in some cheap shots and then the Elegant duo starts working over Gigi. A few quick tags, but once Heather comes in, Gigi fights out of the corner, gets the hot tag to Tatum. Tatum stacks up both Elegance members, Corner Stacked Crossbody, Butterfly Suplex and an Elbow Drop with some some flare. Tatum goes to the top rope, Heather pulls Gigi off the apron, Concierge shoves Tatum off the turnbuckle and Ash hits Rarefied Air for the win.

Post match the Elegance Clique wants to make their wish with the cake, they light the candles and Tatum and Gigi recover enough to do what we all expected last week, the cake in the face spot. Some…suggestive licking from both of our Hot Topic Hotties, so…no complaints here. 

Fir$t Cla$$ & Frankie Kazarian vs Laredo Kid, Octagon Jr & Chavo Guerrero Jr

Chavo and Kaz start since he’s King Petty, a quick rope run turns into a Headscissor from Chavo. Kaz recovers, they lock up, Kaz hits the Knee Lift during the lock up to tag out to KC. KC pulls off some athletic dodges, gloats a bit so Chavo waits, measures and nails a gorgeous Dropkick. Laredo comes in on fire, quick high spots that send KC bouncing around like HBK against Hulk. KC powders after sells the Satellite Takedown, AJ checks on him and we go to commercial.

Back from commercial, Octagon is lighting up KC’s chest with overhand chops, he perches, Sunset Headscissor Flip from corner to corner, KC tries to Back Drop him but Octagon does a headstand, kicks KC away and lays him out with a high spot. AJ gets on the apron to stop Octagon from running the ropes, the referee has a stroke or something because he stops paying attention and AJ pulls Octagon out of the ring and chucks him. KC with the Tope con Hilo and tag (tag ropes haven’t mattered since the 80s we all know this). So AJ is getting taunted by the crowd in Spanish, but he’s manhandling Octagon since it looks like a Child fighting their parent. AJ knocks off Chavo and Laredo, Laredo pops up and tries to get involved but he’s caught on the shoulders, Octagon goes for the Crossbody but gets caught and AJ pulls off “World’s Strongest Wasteland” but Chavo breaks up the pinfall. AJ throws Octagon into the corner, Tennessee Whiskey, and tag out to KC. KC hits a few moves, but starts to lose the momentum until he connects with a Super Kick. Simultaneous rope run into the Dueling Crossbodies, so we get the timely tag outs from both sides. Kaz and Laredo come in, Laredo lands like two moves before Kaz hits a Sole Butt, Lariat and eats his lunch. KC and Kaz try to double team Laredo but he fights out and the crowd is chanting for Chavo.

Chavo tags in, and he’s rocking KC, Saito Suplex, Low Bridge to AJ, Reverse the Whip so Chavo goes to the corner and perches, KC feeds, Chavo Backflips to safety, rolls through and lays out KC. Chavo is feeling himself, 3 Amigos start on KC but only 2, Kaz comes in and Chavo switches to Kaz for the Amigos, only 2 again before AJ breaks it up. AJ goes for the disrespect, but Chavo counters and hits the 3 Amigos on the biggest Culero. Aztec Warriors dive to stop AJ and Kaz, KC tries a Dirty Victory Roll but Chavo kicks out. GORY BOMB into FROG SPLASH!

Chavo looked fantastic and he’s the one in the best shape in the ring. I wouldn’t be mad at more Chavito. 

Jacy Jayne vs Masha Slamovich

I expect very little from this match.

Collar and Elbow, gator rolling for the first 30 seconds or so, then Jacy goes to some Hair Pull takedowns and does a little taunt before Masha pops back up and hits a Lariat into a Dive. Jacy sells it like she’s really hurt, even the ref tries to hold Masha back a little before Masha gets annoyed and just grabs her, Masha throws her in, looks for a Dive and Jacy sees it and powders. Masha tries to go back to the well for the Dive again but Jacy hits the Uppercut and then an Apron Run PK to drop Masha. Forearms rain down into a Foot Choke as Jacy continues to arrogantly play to the crowd. Another Foot Choke into a Cannonball, and near fall.

Masha gets space with a Sole Butt, tries to snap off Requiem but Jacy fights off, fights through a Sunset Flip another effective PK keeps Masha on her ass. Jacy looks for a kinda half-assed Camel Clutch as Masha is fighting up, but Jacy runs her into the corner, gets distracted mouthing off to the crowd, so Masha recovers, 5 Hole Up Kick sends Jacy into the corner, Yakuza Kick into Capo Kick for two. Requiem attempt again, but Jacy pushes off, a little back and forth, Masha tries a Backslide but Jacy gets away and hits a V-Trigger but only a 2 count. Jacy looks for the Discus Punch but Masha ducks it, they strike back and forth, but some dodges from both leave the exchange more even. Jacy with the Front Kick to the face sends Masha to the outside. Jacy wants another PK, but Masha blocks, Electric Chair Apron Snake Eyes. Masha throws her in, a PK into a near all. Requiem attempt 3, and thwarted from Jacy with a Superkick into a Neckbreaker. Senton misses from Jacy, Buzzsaw Kick, into Spinning Back Kick and Russian Death Device for the win.

Better than I expected, and Tessa attacks as soon as the bell rings. Xia Brookside and Lei Ying Li make the save after Tessa grabs the belt. 

Eric Young w/two losers vs Ace Austin

Ace and Eric tie up, World of Sport start but as soon as Ace starts to get away EY punches him in the face. Eric looks at the camera and says “This is what trust looks like”, turns his back on Ace, when Ace looks to attack, the loser duo cut him off. EY takes advantage of the weird situation, but Ace with some Up and Over quick spots, into an Inside Cradle and La Magistral. EY kicks out of the quick flash attempts, but eats a Dropkick, and Ace goes all Speed Kils on him with fast strikes and then a face buster for another near fall. Strike spot very early in the match, Ace gets the best of it, goes for a Tear Drop Suplex but EY sits on it to block, Headlocks to keep him close and then a snap Lariat into beatdown bully tactics. EY takes the referee’s attention and one of the nerds punch Ace in the face.

Eric tries to lean on Ace, but Ace fires, a few strikes, Click Click Boom, the Miz Seated Lariats in the corner, Mochizuki Triangle Kick connects! Only a 2 count, but Ace seems to be in control. Ace puts EY on the ropes, a few strikes to keep him rocked, wants a Superplex, but EY blocks, bites the face and Macho Elbow gets a very close two count. EY tries the Piledriver but Ace turns it into a Jacknife Cradle,Spinning Heel Kick, calls for The Fold, but the losers hop on the apron to distract, Ace attacks them. Ace tries to time out the Triangle Kick again, but Eric dodges, throws Ace head first through the buckles. As Ace stumbles out of the corner, Piledriver, and it’s over.

Oh look it’s the “we’ll hear from Joe Hendry” segment. Again, I’ve loved this gimmick since Day 1, even didn’t hate his What Culture Pro stuff, but there is such a thing as milking a cow too much. 

Elijah interrupts the whole “Who’s next” speech. When Elijah comes out he says he’s not the challenger and he believes in Joe. The crowd wants Elijah to turn on Hendry. Elijah pauses for a moment, and starts proving his friendship with stating his favorite color and a little “You Got a Friend in Me”. The crowd is into singing along and waving their cameras like Lighters to a 30 year old song. THANKFULLY Kaz breaks up the hug fest. Now he gets the “Culero” chant. 

Kaz pulls out a Bass…what the hell is this Jam Session. Kaz has to warm up so he plays “La Cucaracha” on the bass. Kaz…is a national treasure. Hendry kicks Kaz out of the ring after his Heelish and playfully racially charged song choices. Kaz tries to sow dissension, but Joe and Elijah pinball Kaz between them. Kaz slips a power move and tries to shove Elijah into Joe but Elijah puts the brakes on, a small tense moment. But then Joe and Elijah play “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey, Goodbye”…and that goes right into a commercial. Oddly…perfect.

Nic Nemeth w/Ryan Nemeth vs Leon Slater

Nic shoots the half immediately for a flash pinfall but Leon kicks out at one. Nic continues to keep things grounded with his amateur wrestling skills, and then does a little Dolph Ziggler show off. So Nic isn’t really taking this seriously, and Leon starts getting the best of things with an Arm Wringer, into drag, Shoulder Tackle and rope run as Nic tries to Leap Frog and Leon puts on the brakes and just shoves Nic on his ass. Nic gets annoyed, a few strikes, grinds his face along the ropes, but Leon keeps stringing some offense together, Back Handspring Elbow into his Corner con Hilo.

Ahh the classic formula of the commercial gives the heel the advantage, Twisting Suplex from Leon stops Nic’s offense momentum, right hand, Leon lifts Nic up for something, Nic slips it, kicks him in the gut, looks for the FameAsser, but Leon catches him into a Blue Thunder Bomb variation. Slater wants the Swanton 450, but Nic powders. Leon tries to adjust into a Dive, but Nic cuts him off, counter for counter and a FameAsser out of the counters for a two count. Nic starts the big brother tactics, bootwashes and arrogance, Slater fires, punches into a Yakuza Kick. Leon wants another Lethal Injection variant, but Nic catches him into a Rear Naked Choke. Slater tries to turn it into a pin so Nic breaks it. Leon wants a Leg Lariat but misses and gets unceremoniously dropped by Nic. Nic puts Leon up on the buckles, Superplex possibly but Slater counters, tries to collect himself for a move, but Nic falls into the ropes to crotch Leon, and finally hits the Superplex.

Twist of Slate from Leon, Swanton 450 but knees get up. Locomotion Cradles from both but they kick out, Ryan picks the ankle to trip up Leon just a touch and then Danger Zone ends the match.

Ryan starts the post match beatdown, but the Hardy’s music hits and they come down to the ring for the save. Matt challenges the Nemeths for Rebellion because they’re not medically cleared yet.

 

Overall Score: 6.5/10

Decent story motion, no match was offensive, and there was actually some solid match action for television standards. I don’t have a ton to complain about aside from the Knockouts Division is in a weird spot, and giving Hendry a lot of just talking and hollow payoff segments feels stupid. If we need to hear from him every week, give him a talk segment like Highlight Reel or something. Yes I know First Class just got The Penthouse, but if Hendry is going to talk more than wrestle, give him a talk segment for us to sink our teeth into.

There was the announcement that Xia, Lei Ying and Masha will face Tessa, Jacy and a mystery partner. So you gotta wonder if there’s going to be another NXT mercenary, a surprise return or if it’ll just be Rosemary since she’s got her issues with Xia. Also I just realized that Unbreakable is going to be on a Thursday, seemingly after iMPACT? I’m gonna have to see how they do it, because if there’s an Impact episode and 2-3 hour PLE…I do not want to be awake until 1am. People need to work, and I will be Unwakeable if things go that long.

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