Talking Smack leads into Hell in a Cell!

Before WWE enters Hell in a Cell this Sunday, join Talking Smack and ROCK OUT~ with Rick Boogs and Shinsuke Nakamura!

Kayla Braxton is back and welcomes us back to the show!

On “the eve” of Hell in a Cell Sunday, Kayla thanks Kevin Patrick for taking over for a week. Paul Heyman jokingly asks that wasn’t her last week. He “honestly” thought that Kayla had done gender reassignment surgery and gained this “horrible, indecipherable accent” to be Gaelic garlic, like a “sober Conor McGregor.” He didn’t understand and just thought Kayla was messing with him on a Saturday morning. But now that she’s here, Heyman honestly feels he misses Kevin. Well, Paul, Kayla missed you, too. Anyway, on to what happened on Friday Night SmackDown! Firstly, Bianca Belair VS Bayley will now be inside the Hell in a Cell, which is still towering ominously behind the set.

Bayley has experience inside HIAC, Bianca does not. But since Bianca became champion, she’s defied all odds. What does Heyman think about the match raising the stakes? Who’s gonna win? Whoever beats the other. Okay… Every week, and Kevin is invited to help Kayla with “this guy.” Oh, “this guy?” This living legend? God’s gift to sports entertainment? This national treasure? This Special Counsel to the Tribal Chief? No, “tHiS gUy~,” some shmuck looking for a hotdog and a knish. Well, after you, “Kevin.” Well, Kayla just expected that after being asked such a question, he’d respond with a real answer.

Oh, Heyman’s sorry. He barks and claps like a trained seal now. Well, “Yes And” is a thing in improv and hosting, so maybe answer with a positive and not a negative. Alright, sorry, ask again and he’ll try better. At HIAC on Sunday, who walks out at SmackDown Women’s Champion between Bianca and Bayley? He says Bayley. Does he want to add anything, or is that it? Heyman gets on Kayla for saying his answers aren’t good enough. Moving on, the newly shaved Otis didn’t defeat but rather demolished Angelo Dawkins. This new look makes Otis look even meaner to Kayla. This is a different Otis. Heyman agrees with that. See? Rapid fire. Probably because Heyman wants to get to the ending of SmackDown.

Rey Mysterio said he didn’t want to wait until Sunday to face Roman Reigns for the Universal Championship inside HIAC, so that match took place on SmackDown. And to Heyman’s utter delight, Roman is still champion. She gives the floor to Heyman now so he can say what he wants. “Here’s your chance to acknowledge your Tribal Chief.” Would she like to do that now? He’ll take her silence as a yes. Would you, the fans, like to acknowledge Roman as the Tribal Chief? Because it’s about time you did.

“We had the story of all stories, didn’t we? My goodness! Father’s Day Weekend kicks off with an aggrieved father who couldn’t wait to get his hands on the unbeatable champion! This was a Rocky movie playing out in front of your very eyes, wasn’t it?” Heyman sings Gotta Fly Now, but puts a “San Diego flair” on it with “BOOYAKA BOOYAKA!” Heyman then gets serious and shouts, “Except this ain’t no Rocky movie!” It’s Roman’s reign, and Rey will acknowledge Roman’s reign as Tribal Chief! As Head of the Table! As End All Be All, Universal Heavyweight Champion!

Heyman lists off names: The Fiend acknowledged Roman, gone from SmackDown; Braun Strowman acknowledged Roman, gone from WWE; Daniel Bryan, banished from SmackDown; Edge is at home playing Mr. Mom because he took a ConChairTo in the “most declaratively dominant pinfall in the history of WrestleMania,” and we haven’t even heard from him since. Now Rey Mysterio stepped up and it happened again. But here’s the good news: This next Friday, Roman Reigns’ dance card is open! Who wants to make a go of it? Who wants to take their chances this Friday in NOT acknowledging the Tribal Chief. Because that is where the suffering begins. And to top it off, Heyman tells Rey, his good friend, “Happy Father’s Day.”

Shinsuke Nakamura and Rick Boogs join Talking Smack!

The rockin’ bard plays Nakamura’s theme and it echoes through the ThunderDome. Heyman keeps looking at Boogs while Kayla introduces the King of Strong Style and keeper of the crown. Nakamura is officially the King of the WWE! Yes, and Kayla feels like he’s always been a king. There was never any doubt. Yes, a king since day one. But finally, it is official. Yes, there is no doubt. Is Corbin “King Corbin” still? Is he just Corbin? Baron Corbin? Nakamura thinks he’s back to Baron Corbin, because he lost and can’t argue the crown is Nakamura’s.

Kayla notes Nakamura has “rocked” the crown all over the place, from coffee to being in his car. What was his favorite place to wear the crown? Nakamura wanted to go to the beach and surf with it, but it’s too dangerous. By the way, is Boogs is just that excited to just jam out. Every time someone talks, he plays. How has this been, having him play Nakamura on and off? Heyman “just noticed.” Nakamura likes Boogs’ energy. It gets him pumped. Kayla loves the hair, the pants, and the guitar. Has Boogs given Nakamura guitar lessons? Yeah, Nakamura might bring his some day.

Kayla notes to the fans that Nakamura is a very talented surfer. She imagines him having the guitar and playing while on his surfboard. Nakamura isn’t sure about an electric guitar being on the water. Okay, maybe just a regular guitar then. Acoustic. Heyman has no idea what’s going on! Boogs, play us off! Boogs does, and Kayla thanks Nakamura for stopping by. Kayla also makes sure Corbin knows, Nakamura is king, Corbin’s just a baron.

Adam Pearce joins Talking Smack!

Kayla introduces him as “the man who has all the answers,” but Pearce isn’t so sure about that. But she thanks him for joining them. Pearce says it is a pleasure. Kayla says they could move things around so he doesn’t have to sit by Heyman, but Pearce says there’s no seat he’d rather be. Heyman says there’s no flirting on Talking Smack. Kayla doesn’t need to try and arrange it so she and Pearce can sit together. Kayla can’t believe Heyman is saying that. But getting to business, Pearce made a match official for HIAC the PPV. Sami Zayn VS Kevin Owens. Kevin wanted it because he’s sick of Sami meddling. Aren’t we all? But isn’t Sami borderline just obsessive?

Pearce looks at this from a long term perspective. He’s known them both for 15 years, they’ve both been obsessed with each other. Pearce has been told maybe they shouldn’t have this match because of his own personal investment in it, and that’s not true. Pearce says that the WWE wants to see a resolution and we’ll see that on Sunday. Heyman wants Pearce to stop the act. Pearce knows he wants to see Sami get his ass kicked. Heyman sure does, Sami’s “a prick.” And as the former head of the conspiracy against Sami, which Heyman admits to being, he knows a conspirator when he sees one. And Pearce is one!

So Heyman just said he himself just called Sami a prick and would want to see him get his ass kicked. Yes, but Heyman isn’t an authority figure anymore! But hold on, hold on! As a grown man, Pearce can have his own opinion. Well not if you work directly for the WWE. Well didn’t Heyman used to work for the WWE? Yes. Okay, and Heyman would spew and spew and spew, just like he is right now. Kayla says Heyman doesn’t like it when other people talk. Yes, Pearce is aware of it and used to it by now. But as the promotional tour de force Heyman has been in this industry, Heyman is saying he would not have made this match? Of course he would, right? So that’s why Pearce did it.

Does Pearce want to see Kevin “kick the tar” out of Sami? Of course! As Adam Pearce the human being, why wouldn’t he? But as a professional WWE Official, there still isn’t a bias when putting such matches on the marquee. Heyman as a promotor understood that, so he can’t sit there and denigrate Pearce to his face. Heyman will just do it behind his back then! That’s what Pearce expects! Kayla loves seeing someone finally take the fight to Heyman. Heyman still accuses Pearce of bias against Sami. But then here comes Sami! Hallelujah! Sami is absolutely livid over Pearce admitting that, as a WWE matchmaker, he wants to see Sami get beat up! Has he no shame?!

It’s like they just do it out in the open now! At least they did it behind the scenes! Heyman did it behind the scenes, and had the decency to lie to Sami about it! Yep! Pearce can’t believe Heyman and Sami are on the same page here. Pearce just wants to see resolution. No, he is part of the conspiracy to make Sami suffer! Sami knows what Pearce is up to now! “You think you’re so smart with your big bald head!” Pearce is so smart showing off his brain. But Sami is smarter! He will always be one step ahead! When Sami beats Kevin, Pearce will look foolish! Foolish! Well, Pearce won’t look foolish putting his mic down and saying to them both, bye! Heyman and Sami are made for each other.

Sami says Pearce shoulder checked him on the way out! We have it on tape! Or did the cameras “magically” not catch it? Heyman claims he’s a witness and volunteers to testify! Sami has a legal team fighting the WWE! Heyman wants Sami to wait and they’ll take a commercial break. When we return, Sami will have an open, uncensored mic. Three, two, one, fade out.

Talking Smack returns with Sami Zayn.

Kayla says it’s been a great show, so without wasting more time, we give the floor to Sami. Sami takes a moment before he begins. “Most people think the primary function of the WWE is to turn a profit for shareholders, all the while acting as this giant global media conglomerate that puts out quality television and Pay-Per-Views and live events and puts smiles on the faces of all our fans across the globe. But that’s not true. The primary function of WWE is to screw with Sami Zayn.” All the board meetings, the shareholders, the arenas, and even talk shows like this! All of this is a back drop for the real mission: Make Sami Zayn’s life a living hell!

Sami tells Heyman that Heyman has a reputation as a “walrus faced notorious liar,” and all these other things. But Sami has come to learn that- That Heyman’s a lot worse than that? Because he is. No, no, Sami wants Heyman to hear him out. Heyman has lied to Sami countless times, and Sami even caught Heyman red-handed more than once. But that doesn’t matter now. Heyman has been a victim all these years of a smear campaign! Once in a blue moon, Heyman tells the truth! And when he does, Heyman crosses the corporate line, something some people aren’t willing to do.

Some people, as Sami looks at Kayla, are always willing to toe the company line and play it safe because it keeps them paid. But when you cross the line like Heyman and Sami have, you get smeared! Called things like “walrus faced loser” or being made to look crazy. Sami and Heyman understand, but the worst is when someone like Kevin Owens, who carries on as “this relentless fighting machine, fighting family man, fighting the good fight all the time to put food on his family’s table,” when in reality, he’s the worst kind of RAT! Kevin is a CORPORATE CO-CONSPIRATOR, and there’s nothing lower!

For everything Kevin’s done to Sami over the years, this last piece is worse than anything! Worse than any apron powerbomb, any stretcher attack! So at HIAC PPV, “karmic justice will be served.” Sami believes in karma. Does Heyman? No, because he’s got a whole lot coming to him. Kayla, does she? And don’t answer with some Instagram level quote. No, she believes in it. Okay then. So Kevin is going to get what he has coming to him! Kayla understands that after being the victim while just being a decent, honest man, some good will come back to Sami. She knows karma will be served, right? For one of them, yes.

How does Heyman deal with this? Every single week. Heyman says this is why he prays against karma. Kayla is the bad karma. All the sins compounded. “You’re gonna cohost a show with Kayla~! Oh no…!” Even worse, Kevin Patrick or whatever, it was so hard to understand what he was saying. Sami has no more time for this, no more from Kayla. They’re not seeing eye to eye. But Sunday, we will all see karma and justice being served. Sami leaves and Kayla thanks him and everyone for their time. Sunday is going to be big, hope to see you there!

My Thoughts:

A very good episode for Talking Smack, and I like that we got a different order of things than usual. Heyman got to say his piece first and it was another powerful promo that really tied in everything, and even kayfabe’d Strowman’s release. I hope Heyman mentioning next week and how Roman can move on to another opponent encourages someone to step up and challenge him for MITB. It could be Jey returning to fight for his independence, it could be a winner from HIAC like Kevin Owens, either way hopefully it ties into the show somehow.

Nakamura had a decent segment but it sure seemed like it was more about Boogs with him constantly rocking out. I don’t want Nakamura to turn on Boogs but I do think there should be something where they part ways and Boogs gets to rock out for himself. I will say, Nakamura’s theme still sounds great on electric guitar. Pearce being a guest was a nice surprise, as was Sami Zayn, and I like they were able to make it a natural transition from one guest to another. Sami having the final segment was great, he really added an extra bit to the story of the “conspiracy” as well as with Kevin. I said this for SmackDown and I’ll say it here, this should’ve been the match that SmackDown put HIAC on since the Universal Championship happened last night.