Entertainment

Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (12/29/21)

Dawn of the First Day!

Published

3 years ago

December 29, 2021

Steven Mitchell

HPW takes a closer look at the Death Mountain and Trios Championships!

Before the #CelebrationofGreatness, HPW takes a closer look at major match-ups! First: the Death Mountain and Trios Championships!

HPW Media finds the ladder match entrants around Hyrule.

Tali is Sand Seal Surfing.

Not just that, but she’s racing with others! She makes a tight turn, gets around the next two riders and takes first place, all the way to the finish line! Shabonne gets on the mic for the victory. “Yes, vai and voe, that right there is greatness! Tali is still the Dame of the Dunes, the Sand Surfing Champion, even while she’s competing in pro-wrestling! Tali is going to climb the ladder, take down the Death Mountain Championship and be on top of the world! That’s gosh dame right!”

King Bulblin is pumping iron.

All three Bulblin Triplets are his spotters as Bulblin is bench pressing almost 300 pounds! It takes all three of the triplets to get the bar back on the hooks as he finishes, then one of them hurries to get King Bulblin his bottle and towel. King Bulblin wipes his brow and then chugs water. “I’m going to crush whoever gets in my way, step over them, then climb the ladder to get back what’s mine.” Bulblin then gets back under to start another set of bench presses.

Hinox inspects a ladder.

“Hmm… Are you sure something like this can support me? I’m a bit bigger than the average wrestler.” Hinox sighs and shrugs then gets on the bottom rung. It snaps right off! “Welp!” Hinox steps back from the ladder, and then looks it up and down. “Do I even need to climb a ladder to win a ladder match? I feel like I could just jump and reach the belt.”

Gold Lynel visits Death Mountain itself.

The heat is almost unbearable for the camera crew, but they manage to keep up with the One True Monster as he climbs up the north side. He reaches a plateau and looks out at the landscape. The camera looks out, and Gut Check Rock, Skull Lake and even the Rok Woods can be seen from up here. “It doesn’t matter how tough Tali is, how strong Bulblin is or how big Hinox is. It doesn’t even matter who HPW chooses to be the fifth entry. I am the pinnacle of fight sports. Everything that the light touches is MY kingdom.” Will Gold Lynel ascend and establish a ONE YEAR REIGN?

The Studly Guys have a photoshoot.

The NEW HPW Trios Champions have their side plates now, and are getting pics with the belts.

Groose isn’t sure why Skull Kid gets the “power belt,” aka the one with the top Triforce piece highlighted. Skull Kid says it is only natural. He was the one who went after the UnderWorld Order at Treasure Island and survived the choke slam. Well, yeah, but is that really proof of power? How is it not? Tingle says it’s fine, Groose is pretty brave so Triforce of Courage works for him. And of course, Tingle is smart enough to be the Triforce of Wisdom. “Alright then, wise guy,” Groose says. “How do we prepare for the Desert Flowers?” “Uh… Well, they’ve kinda got the same combination as we do. One tall, one short, one in the middle.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Groose says. Groose can handle Bularia. “Uh, I’m Triforce of Power,” Skull Kid says. “I’ll handle Bularia.” Um, sure he will… Will this studly game plan work out for the new champions? Or will we get new new champions on New Year’s Eve?

My Thoughts:

It’s back! The build-up articles to HyruleMania is another tradition, but I’m not making new thumbnails. I feel like this first one isn’t quite to where last year’s was. Just been really busy.

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Related Topics:Entertainment Featured Featured Big HPW Hyrule Pro-Wrestling

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Entertainment

Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (6/24/25)

HPW is approaching Termina Velocity!

Published

2 days ago

June 24, 2025

Steven Mitchell

Time waits for no one!

With Summer heating up, HPW heads westward! Who will be given a golden opportunity as we once again visit the distant land of Termina?

The summer fun is has only just begun!

While Termina is the next stop on HPW’s calendar, we all know Eventide will be right around the corner. And though Ganon cheated his way to another title opportunity, there is plenty of gold to go around! But first, contenders must earn their opportunities, and that leads us to…

The Beat the Clock Challenge returns!

In a historic move, HPW puts together SEVEN Beat the Clock matches! That means FOURTEEN stars will fight as fast and as furious as they possibly can to win the race. The contenders, in no particular order, are: Groose; Riju; Yunobo; Sidon; Thunderbird; Donny B. Kool; Hollywood ReDead; Scaldera; The Grim Creeper; Ghirahim; Zant; Harlequin; the returning icon, Onox; and Kage! The Hero’s Shadow is included in this field because of how he was cheated out of the match for the Undisputed HPW Triforce World Championship, but he could find a new path.

As before, the winner of the challenge will be granted a title opportunity. They will have their choice of the Death Mountain, Termina or Goddess Championship for Treasure Island. But even if they can’t win fast, everyone will still want to win, as the consolation prize is a spot in this year’s Eventide Challenge Ladder Match! Who will be the ultimate winner and who will be the ultimate losers when the clock is ticking? Be ready for the fireworks on July 4th as Termina Velocity goes to the Pirates’ Fortress on Great Bay Coast!

About Chairshot Radio Network

MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)

WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)

THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)

FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)

SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)

TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends

Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5

Classic POD is WAR

Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!

All Shows On Demand

Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!

Bandwagon Nerds

Bandwagon Nerds #294: Bakey Bacon Chewing Up The Scenery

The Nerds review trailers for Sandman, Naked Gun, and Toxic Avenger, plus James Gunn’s search for Batman and David Zaslav’s big pay cut.

Published

3 days ago

June 23, 2025

PC Tunney

This week, Dave & Tunney are joined by a very familiar friend as DJ jumps on the bandwagon to bring you all the latest from the Nerdosphere. We begin with a powerful installment of the Trailer Park as we take a look at trailers for The Sandman (Season 2), The Naked Gun, Springsteen, and then one personally shared by DJ….the reboot of The Toxic Avenger! News Around the Nerdosphere covers all sorts of topics including a Fantastic Four sequel already in the works, more rumors of He Who Shall No Longer Be Named showing up in Ironheart, whether Elio’s bad box office beginning should be a cause for concern, and confirmation that The Punisher will make an appearance in Spider-Man: Brand New Day. There was also plenty of news on the DC side of things, including Reddit firing back against a particular user trying to ruin Superman before it ever even comes out and James Gunn’s response to that. Speaking of Gunn, he addressed complaints about Batman 2‘s delay issues, as well as sharing his vision for the DCU’s version of Batman. Lastly, we discuss David Zaslav getting hit with a massive pay cut. Are his days as head of WB numbered? Tune in and find out.

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