Entertainment

Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (1/3/22)

Prepare for the THIRD Triforce Tournament!

Published

3 years ago

January 3, 2022

Steven Mitchell

New year, another Triforce Tournament!

It’s another year, and HPW starts it off with another Triforce Tournament! Who’s in it and who will win it to get a golden ticket for the Triforce Championship?

The tournament brackets have been filled!

A special analyst panel discusses the match-ups.

Agitha sits with the Wise Old Owl, Rauru, and “the Spirit of Statistics,” Fi, inside the HPW Command Center and welcomes us to this special report. They’re all very excited for this year’s Triforce Tournament, the third annual edition, and what is being nicknamed, “T3.” By who? By Agitha, of course! But to start, there are of course the notable entries and last year’s finalists, Yuga, Hilda and Ravio. “Will they each pull off a historic repeat performance as bracket winners?”

Fi says, “There are many mitigating factors that drastically affect their chances of winning. Firstly, Yuga removed himself from their group when he betrayed Hilda at Clash of Fates. It was a 92% certainty that the three worked together in cheating in order for the three of them to make it to the finals. Now that Yuga is apart from Hilda and Ravio, he must rely on his own abilities and ingenuity to advance.” Rauru agrees, and he points out that there’s a good chance Hilda will meet him in the Wisdom finals. Hilda will definitely want payback for Clash of Fates on her way back to the Triple Threat finals.

Fi notes Hilda has the slightly more challenging path because of the second round. Agitha notices the match up of Master Kohga VS Garo Master. “That looks like a really shiny match! They’re so alike but also so different, like a stag beetle and a Hercules beetle.” Rauru isn’t sure about the bug metaphor but he gets her point. These two are tag partners in the Three Masters trio. That match could go either way in his opinion. Fi’s numbers say that the intangibles are Kohga’s charisma and Garo’s use of the ropes, but the third factor is their familiarity. Therefore, she agrees with Rauru that “this is truly a 50-50 proposition.”

Agitha points out Master Stalfos being in the Bracket of Courage, meaning more than one of the Three Masters could make it to the finals. However, he’s against Gibdo, and Hollywood ReDead is just on the other side. “Torbevito’s really in a spooky part of this tournament, huh? Speaking of spooky, look at the Power Bracket! Death Sword, Gomess, Captain Keeta and Stal-Kid! It’s like Halloween, but either really early or a few months late.” Rauru points out Kage’s presence in the tournament. All the members of the Dark Forces are in this tournament, they could try and pull the same move Hilda, Ravio and Yuga did last year.

Fi says the chances of all one faction dominating the Triple Threat finals are incredibly low. Taking last year for example, the one possibility of Yuga, Ravio and Hilda being in the Triple Threat was one out of 512 possible combinations. In terms of probability, 1/512, or a 0.19% chance. Of course, they cheated and found a way to ensure that outcome. Kage and Volga must win their brackets, then either Gibdo or Cia must win the Bracket of Courage. That slightly improves their odds to 1/448, or 0.22%, assuming no nefarious schemes take place. Agitha marvels at that, even though she admits she doesn’t understand the math. “But I do know that if things are this up in the air, then it’ll be an amazing tournament!”

The venues have also been secured!

HPW Triforce Tournament Venues

For this year’s opening round, January 23rd, 24th and 25th, will be at the base of the Dueling Peaks! The perfect choice for a three-day, twelve match series!

For the second round, February 14th, everyone will love going to Lanayru Heights to see if they can ascend to the bracket finals!

And for that third round, March 19th, the bracket finals will be as harsh and daunting as the Deplian Badlands! Who survives to head for the Triforce Anniversary event on April 1st?

My Thoughts:

Here we go, everybody! Make your brackets and metaphorically place your bets to see where we go from here! The countdown is on to the opening round, I’ve got three weeks to make 12 great matches! And stay tuned if any other news comes out about all the other title stories.

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Entertainment

Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (5/23/25)

What’s with all the glowing?

Published

1 week ago

May 23, 2025

Steven Mitchell

HPW Investigates: The Glowing Aura Phenomenon…

Riju, Sidon, Thunderbird, Donny B. Kool, Yunobo. Five stars of HPW have had powerful performances, but there’s something more to it… What is the reason behind this modern mystery? And could there be another?

Reviewing the timeline of events…

March 21st, the Triforce Tournament Bracket Finals

As the Gerudo Sisterhood was settling its grudge, Riju fought as hard as she could as the massive underdog against the Dame of the Dunes. Riju would survive heavy impact, begin to glow as she made her comeback, but Shabonne made sure she would lose the match. On that same night, we would see Sidon and Thunderbird each have their own moment where, after surviving heavy damage, they would begin to glow and make their comebacks. From there, Sidon and Thunderbird would win their way into the Triforce Tournament Finals at the Triforce Annivesary show.

April 1st, The Triforce Anniversary

Not only would we see Sidon & Thunderbird each bring out that same glowing energy, but Donny B. Kool would bring out that same phenomenon during the 21 Person Battle Royal. Donny held his own, but with that many opponents, winning was unlikely, and he was eliminated fifth-to-last.

May 1st, Wrestling Is Life

Yunobo won that 21 Person Battle Royal in April, and made his challenge for the HPW Death Mountain Championship. Igos du Ikana was as sharp as ever, but both men pushed each other to their limits. Yunobo powered through submissions and sharp strikes, bringing about the glowing aura, but Igos still won the match and retained the title.

So what might this all mean?

Five stars have been seen with glowing auras during the emotional heights of these matches. Or perhaps, the glowing auras are the results of these emotional heights? Could they be brought about by the “fighting spirit” within each one and in turn bring out new strength and energy? Each one of the five certainly seemed to “dig down deep” and fight like they were rising above mortal expectations.

Another detail that must be considered is the number of people who have presented this glowing aura phenomenon. Five people, with no connections between them: Riju the Gerudo; Sidon the Zora; Thunderbird the Ruto; Donny B. Kool the Gero; and Yunobo the Goron. Granted, they’re all young, and certainly leading this new generation forward. But the number itself is a point of focus. Needless to say that in Hyrule, three is the magic number, originating with the Triforce of legend. Therefore, multiples of three are also important. Five recorded phenomena, could this be a breaking of the norm? Or could there be a sixth?

Images flash on screen of the many faces on the HPW roster. Who could it be that enters the GAP?