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Andrew’s IMPACT Sacrifice Results & Match Ratings: 3.5.2022 | The Chairshot
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Andrew’s IMPACT Sacrifice Results & Match Ratings: 3.5.2022

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Short turn around time, but we’ve got some fun matches with weight! Eddie Edwards and Rhino continues the IMPACT/Honor No More heat from No Surrender. Tasha Steelz and Mickie has been progressively more personal, so it’s gonna be hard to take Steelz seriously if she loses again; so what they do here should be interesting.

Jonah versus PCO will be a fun slugfest with probably a number of car crash moments, in a stupendously entertaining way. Tag match should go VBD’s way, for two reasons. Reason 1 being the G.o.D. is in Japan and 2 – I mean Jay White is the only untouchable one, everyone else will eat the Bullet Club falls for a while.

Given that, I fully expect the awesome special match of Jay White vs Alex Shelley to steal the show, but if Jay loses I will shit kittens.

So lets find out if I need to buy a litter box!

Ratings:

  • X Division Championship: Jake Something vs Trey Miguel (c): Miguel wins via Meteora Drop – ***
  • Eddie Edwards w/Honor No More vs Rhino w/Team Impact: Eddie wins via Boston Knee Party – ** ¼
  • Knockouts Tag Team Championships: The IInspiration (c) vs The Influence: The Influence wins after Belt Shot – ** ½ – TITLE CHANGE!!
  • Jonah vs PCO: Jonah wins via Tsunami – *** ¾
  • Alex Shelley vs Jay White: Jay wins via Blade Runner – **** ¾
  • Champ/Champ Challenge: Deonna Purrazzo (c) vs Chelsea Green: Deonna wins via Referee Stoppage – *** ¼
  • Knockouts World Championship: Mickie James (c) vs Tasha Steelz: Steelz wins via Okurrr – ** ¾ – TITLE CHANGE!!!
  • IMPACT Tag Team Championships: The Good Brothers (c) w/ Chris Bey vs Violent By Design (Eric Young & Joe Doering w/Deaner): VBD wins via Tandem Powerbomb/Neckbreaker – *** – TITLE CHANGE!!
  • IMPACT World Championship: Moose (c) vs Heath: Moose wins via Lights Out – *** ¼

 

Results:

X Division Championship: Jake Something vs Trey Miguel (c)

Early on Trey tries a lot of useless acrobatic offense that thankfully Something just Lariats him into next week to star this offense. Trey retreats into ropes and starts doing more knock-off Ricochet kind of offense, but Jake catches him for a big Liger Bomb for a near fall.

The concept for the match stayed the same, but the match was pretty damn pedestrian. Even though he’s the champion, and disrespected Jake a bit the last few weeks, he still tried to be the “underdog” in the match. Jake hit a ton of power moves to put the brakes on Trey’s attempted quick attacks, but really it was not a compelling match. Usually Impact likes to start with X Division to kick things off with high energy…but I’m just happy this is out of the way.

Trey of course retained, because they feel like pushing a vanilla flippy guy with no personality.

Eddie Edwards w/Honor No More vs Rhino w/Team Impact

Eddie charges early and Rhino gets the best of the hot headed situation early. Eddie gets dropped out at the Team Impact side, and they don’t hit him they just throw him back in. Maria tries to hand Eddie the kendo stick, but the referee catches her and kicks her out. The rest of Honor No More basically play innocent and ONLY Maria gets kicked away from ring side, as she’s serenaded with the “Nah Nah Nah Nahs”.

At this point is when we start seeing Honor No More pick their battles better with trips and cheap shots, so Rhino is on the receiving end for a hot minute. We then get the crazy brawl between all the factions and after a lot of crazy spots, Maclin hits the ring. Blocks the Kendo Stick, Double Arm DDTs Eddie and starts hyping up Rhino for a Gore. As Rhino turns to head to a corner, Maclin cracks him with the stick and walks out screaming at Team Impact that they didn’t trust him and blamed him for all the events when it was Eddie all along. So it was just a big “Eff You” to both factions.

Eddie wins with the Boston Knee Party, but a pissed off Mercenary does definitely add a wrinkle to future angles.

Knockouts Tag Team Championships: The IInspiration (c) vs The Influence

The IInspiration come out looking like Britney Spears from her MTV performance with the snake. We all know what I’m talking about. Either way, this actually ends up being a solid match all things considered.

The Influence manage to wipe out The IInspiration on the outside and then isolate Billie-erhm- Jessie McKay. Solid tag team spots from the heels, Jessie manages to get some space when Cassie finally gets back into their corner and this looks like the beginning of the end. Cassie takes the hot tag, rocks Tenille, Spin Kick, and Tenille gets the brunt of it all. The IInspiration look for their finish, but Madison breaks it up, Tenille hits a Spotlight Kick, but Cassie kicks out.

Kaleb finally comes to the ring after being told not to, in the mayhem he grabs a belt, slides it in, Tenille grabs it, clocks Cassie and The Influence win! Kaleb looks surprised, so it’s evident he didn’t mean for Tenille to get it, but it kinda works at the moment. It’s also a solid way for the IInspiration to lose in a story driven way and not a match to make them look bad.

Backstage segment with Heath and Rhino turns into a cameo from Santino Marella trying to help instill confidence in the man with kids.

Jonah vs PCO

We got a monster battle that we were all expecting. Jonah tried his usual offense, but PCO refused to stay down and he fired back with big Rolling Forearms, Spinning Backfists and of course using his body as a weapon.

Great near falls, great car crash moments, we got the French Canadian Frankenstein rising from the dead a few times, an Avalanche French Canadian Frankensteiner, and even a PCO Sault. Jonah barely got out of all that offense, rolled outside, and Tombstone Piledrivers PCO on the steps, a Powerbomb from the steps to the floor and then a Tsunami on a prone PCO, gives Jonah the win. Damn great slobber knocker.

Alex Shelley vs Jay White

Student versus teacher, and I do love that ole Dinosaur Bone mentioned Search and Destroy, back during one of the last years I was actively invested in ROH. Shelley definitely applies the older brother messing around mentality early, even going as far to kiss him on the forehead after he floats through a submission.

Quick and explosive moments from both men. Great quick strikes, Blade Buster, kicks, Uppercuts, just you totally see their similarities and the differences in their personalities beautifully. Shelley stomps on Jay’s hand, Jay gauges the eyes. It’s the same concept just two totally different approaches which work for both men.

Chop exchange, Shelley goes for a Misawa-esque Rolling Elbow, Jay catches it into the Uranage and Shelley gets his foot on the rope for the break. Half Nelson Suplex attempt, but Shelley counters it into a Standing Sliced Bread for 2. Superkick rocks Jay, Shelley thinks about it and goes for a Blade Runner.Jay reverses, Crucifix Pin attempt from Shelley, Jay fights, Border City Stretch attempt but Jay fights. Jay manages to get Shelley into a Blade Runner position, but Shelley rolls through and locks in the Border City Stretch.

Jay gets to the ropes, manages to get out of the ring; Shelley goes flying, Jay catches him, Blade Runner into the apron and now Jay is in control. Jay breaks the count, throws Shelley in to beat him in the ring, Blade Run-NO! Shelley counters with his own Blade Runner for 2, and then transitions into the Border City Stretch again. Jay is almost at the ropes so Shelley tries to keep Jay away, but Jay hits the last ditch Blade Runner for the win!

WOW! A damn great match.

Champ/Champ Challenge: Deonna Purrazzo (c) vs Chelsea Green

Chelsea picks the ROH Women’s championship, so let’s see where this goes. We get a well wrestled match, where Deonna doesn’t dominate. Chelsea comes at the match in an intelligent way, manages to land some solid kicks and offense to keep Deonna at bay.

Deonna tries to work over the arm as usual, and goes a damn good job dissecting Chelsea, but Chelsea keeps pushing through. Interesting wrinkle, they trade cradles, Chelsea attempts the Fujiwara for rub ins, but Deonna manages a kick to Chelsea’s wrist and Chelsea immediately crumples. Deonna even goes to check on her since Deonna and Chelsea are legit friend, but Chelsea shoves her off, so Deonna takes that personally and looks to break Chelsea’s wrist. Referee calls for the bell, and Deonna doesn’t stop.

Mickie James runs out to protect her friend, Deonna smirks and Tasha Steelz’s music hits. So a very upset and distracted Mickie now immediately has to get involved in her title match.

Knockouts World Championship: Mickie James (c) vs Tasha Steelz

Tasha attacks before the bell, Mickie keeps looking to Chelsea and seems visibly upset. Mickie turns the initial onslaught around, so as soon as Chelsea starts getting escorted out, Savannah Evans attacks the trainers and Chelsea to create another distraction. Mickie attacks Savannah, and Tasha manages to hit a Dive and start taking some of the momentum back.

So if we assess how this has gone, Tasha has attacked Mickie verbally by talking about her family, Savannah has imposed her physical prowess, now Chelsea makes Mickie emotionally compromised while dealing against a numbers game and a challenger who had a few new moves established during the angle.

Every time Mickie tried to finish things, Savannah got involved, distracted Mickie, took bumps, was just a general nuisance. Mickie goes up for the Thesz Press, Savannah gets involved again, by the time Mickie pulls off the move she gets caught with the Okurrrr. Pinfall…and victory for Steelz!

I’m a little surprised she went over, but if they gave her all of these advantages and she still lost, she was dead in the division. So it makes sense and protects Mickie.

IMPACT Tag Team Championships: The Good Brothers (c) w/ Chris Bey vs Violent By Design (Eric Young & Joe Doering w/Deaner)

We had the classic pairings early on. EY and Karl are the team workhorses, while Joe and LG did the big man power struggle. When one would get knocked down, the other kicked out at 1 or barely stayed down. Given the similarities in the teams, we all have a solid idea of how this was going to go. The first team to find the opening and hit a tandem finish was probably winning this match.

As we get to the end, Doering and Karl are in the ring, Karl hits the Anderson Spinebuster, but Joe pops up and hits the Western Lariat turning Karl inside out. On the ramp we see LG about to take out EY, but EY splits the uprights, then hits the Spike Piledriver on LG. The Good Brothers big man is down, Karl is lifted up in the Powerbomb position, EY hits the Tandem Neckbreaker and VBD are tag champs again!

Given the fact that Tama and Loa are in the New Japan Cup, this is definitely a solid enough angle to bridge the gap in availability.

IMPACT World Championship: Moose (c) vs Heath

I do appreciate the fact that Heath himself was even questioning his chances earlier this show, so this was a big underdog match where even the underdog didn’t buy into his chances. Get those major Little Giants vibes from this storytelling.

Moose being well…Moose, likes to talk shit as he beats the shit out of people. So the way this was compelling where even though Moose literally threw him around the ring and the outside area, something always fired up Heath to make a convincing Ricky Morton style rally. Heath would get smacked across the face, and then fire. Moose would say he doesn’t give a shit about his kids, and then we cue the rally.

After blocking it a few times, Moose misses the Lights Out and Heath hits the Wake Up Call, but Moose does manage to kick out at 2! Heath tries to pick him up but Moose counters it into a violent Uranage, then Lights Out and Moose retains.

After the match, we get someone slide in the ring. It’s JOSH ALEXANDER! He’s back, new multi-year contract in hand and a title match at Rebellion. As he of course explained after dropping Moose with the C4 Spike.

 

Overall Score: 7.5/10

Now this was a solid show from top to bottom, and bottom to top. Sure I hate Trey Miguel, but for people with a slightly more neutral opinion, his match was still fine and Jake Something is definitely a huge talent. IInspiration may have lost, but that story should be funny and entertaining moving forward. Like I said in the review, if Tasha lost with literally every possible advantage, she was dead in the water. So I don’t foresee a long reign for her, but there wasn’t really another way out there.

Steve Maclin basically telling everyone to get bent and going rogue is very on brand. I can really respect the gimmick there. Heath bringing a decent challenge to just set up for Josh’s return was a nice way to tide things over. Is Moose probably losing to Josh? Yes. But it’s also the story coming full circle since Moose literally stole it from Josh with the timing on the cash in. Plus April would be exactly 6 months, so that’s a solid enough first reign and time to let the vendetta steep.

Let’s not overlook the fact that Jay and Alex Shelley did really steal the show, but it’s not like the rest of the show was bad. Nothing was even in the same stratosphere as Jay and Shelley, but it was a great show. From a fan reaction perspective, this event would probably have ranked higher to everyone if PCO beat Jonah. PCO had a lot of support, and the live crowd seemed a little deflated when Jonah won, but the match was still really good.

All in all, really great show from IMPACT.

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Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (6/20/25)

One step closer to the end!

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Can the Last Real Champion handle The Truth?

While the King & Queen of the Ring tournaments reach their semifinals, John Cena has his first match on SmackDown in years, against Ron Killings!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Queen of the Ring Semifinals: Asuka VS Alexa Bliss; Asuka wins and advances to Night of Champions.
  • Aleister Black VS ???
  • King of the Ring Semifinals: Randy Orton VS Sami Zayn; wins and advances to Night of Champions.
  • Bronson Reed w/ Paul Heyman VS LA Knight; wins.
  • John Cena VS Ron Killings; wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

LA Knight is here!

Grand Rapids fires up as the Mega Star marches right to the ring. Knight grabs a mic while the fans chant his name, and he says, “LEMME TALK TO YA!” The fans cheer, and Knight says, “Let’s just go ahead and rewind our mind a little bit. We go to back to Money in the Bank, Seth and his boys, they just happen to come down and screw this guy.” The fans boo that. Knight says usually, he lets things slide. But he just figured he couldn’t let it slide, so he made sure to screw on of Rollins’ boys in their title opportunity, King of the Ring. But then they came back, paid it back and screwed Knight outta KOTR, so he had to go and screw the other one over!

And it just has Knight thinking. Fans “YEAH!” and Knight says there is only one way this can go. He has gone back and forth between Raw and SmackDown, where it ends, nobody knows! Except Knight! He knows! He knows where this ends! The fans cheer that! And Knight says it ends with him and Rollins! And what better place than here? And what better time than now! Knight tells Rollins to come on out and talk to him! But “Ladies and gentlemen…” The fans boo as Paul Heyman walks out and gives his introductions. He serves as the Wise Man to Mr. Money in the Bank, Seth FREAKIN’ Rollins!

Heyman says you do not boo that name. And you screwed up your cue, so they’ll do this again. He serves as the Wise Man for Seth Freakin’ Rollins! The fans keep booing, Heyman wants to try again, but Knight says shut up and get to the point! Why is Heyman here?! Heyman walks to the ring and asks permission to step inside. The fans chant “O T C! O T C!” but Knight steps back. Heyman steps into the ring, and he says yes, there has been a lot of bad blood between Knight and Mr. MITB, Seth Freakin’ Rollins. However, Heyman happens to be, with all due respect to everyone here in Grand Rapids, Michigan…

The fans chant “C M PUNK!” at Heyman now and he frowns. Knight says Heyman has a lot of enemies. Heyman says he is the biggest LA Knight fan in all of WWE! Heyman’s been waiting a long time to say this: YEAH! Now, because of that, Seth Freakin’ Rollins (the fans boo again) has allowed Heyman to say to Knight, as a favor to Heyman… It is time for Knight to get the hell outta Grand Rapids, Michigan. Because if he does not, something really bad is going to happen to him before the end of the night. Have a nice evening. Heyman turns to go but the fans cheer Knight on. Knight says he couldn’t help but notice, but did you~ (poking fun at Heyman’s voice cracking) threaten Knight?

Because Knight wants to wrap his head around this. He’s heard Heyman say stuff like this before, because Heyman is a liar, a swindler, a grifter, a scammer and a schemer! Heyman leeches on to any talent that has a bit of hype, sucks ’em dry, then moves on to the next! Rollins just happens to be the latest in this. But where next? Who cares! But the bottom line is, Knight asked for Rollins but he got Heyman. And while he got Heyman, he got a Heyman out here talking all tough. So it has Knight thinking, he has a great idea.

Talking about wise man, wisdom, there was a point in time if Heyman had said something like that, a man like Knight would look at a “thing” like Heyman and punched his wisdom teeth down his throat! Knight won’t do that, yet. But here’s the deal: Heyman’s talking all tough, but if he can’t bring Rollins out here, then the only thing to do out here in Grand Rapids is Knight fighting Heyman here and now! The fans fire up for that! Knight asks if the fans want that, and they cheer! “HUH?” “YEAH!” “HUH?” “YEAH!” “YEAH!!” Knight promises he’ll turn around, take his vest off, and Heyman gets the first shot. He better make it good, or Knight will molly whop his ass right outta Grand Rapids!

The fans fire up as Knight does as promised. He turns around, his vest is off, but Heyman bails? The fans boo as the Wise Man doesn’t play along. Heyman says, “Remember when I told you to get the hell out of Grand Rapids or else something really bad is gonna happen to you before the end of the night? That wasn’t a prediction. That… was a spoiler!” Heyman throws down his mic, and here comes Bronson Reed & Bron Breakker! Rollins’ behemoths head to the ring, but Knight fires off on them first! The fans rally as Knight throws hands and feet, but then Bron TACKLES Knight! Bronson joins in and they mug Knight right out of the ring!

Bronson drags Knight up to TOSS him over barriers! Bron clears the desk, he wants Bronson to put Knight through it! But Knight has a chair! He JAMS Bron, JAMS Bronson, then SMACKS Bron and SMACKS Bronson! Knight gets in the ring, ready to hit whoever gets in! The fans cheer Knight but Heyman has Bron & Bronson stand down. Will Heyman have the henchmen try again before the end of tonight?

 

SmackDown returns and…

Heyman has Bron & Bronson calm down, they have this under control. It is all in their favor, and it always will be in their favor. That is the whole point behind this. Byron Saxton steps in and wants to talk to them, but Heyman has to hold Bron back like the dog he is! Heyman says no need to bite Byron. Byron apologizes, he has word from SmackDown GM, Nick Aldis, that Bronson Reed VS LA Knight is set for tonight. Heyman says okay, thank you, and goodbye. Byron leaves and Heyman smiles. He told them! Patience is not a virtue, it is strategy. Bronson smiles and nods. Will Auzsilla destroy LA here in Grand Rapids?

 

Queen of the Ring Semifinals: Asuka VS Alexa Bliss!

Two great returns to action through this tournament, and now they cross paths with each other. The Empress of Tomorrow overcame Ivy Nile, Raquel Rodriguez and Stephanie Vaquer while Lil’ Miss Bliss outsmarted Alba Fyre, Candice LeRae and Charlotte Flair. But whose comeback story overtakes the other’s here just one match away from Night of Champions?

The bell rings and the two circle. They tie up, Alexa headlocks, but Asuka powers up and out. Alexa RAMS Asuka, Asuka roars, and the fans fire up as Asuka fires hands! Alexa blocks a kick to THROW Asuka down, then basement DROPKICK! The fans cheer as Asuka and Alexa reset. Alexa kicks, Asuka blocks and slips through to waistlock. Alexa elbows free, runs, but Asuka runs past her to then RUN her over! The fans fire up and Asuka runs in again, HIP ATTACK! Alexa falls to the floor and the fans fire up while SmackDown goes picture in picture.

Asuka lets Alexa stay down while she soaks up the cheers. The ring count starts, Alexa rises, but Asuka goes out after her. Alexa slips inside and DROPKICKS Asuka’s leg! Asuka falls from the apron but she has to nod respect for that savvy move. Asuka steps back in at 6 of 10, and she resets with Alexa. They circle, feel things out, and tie up. Asuka wrenches and wristlocks, but Alexa rolls and wrenches to hammerlock. Alexa waistlocks, rolls Asuka, TWO! The two stand off again and they both nod respect. They reset, the fans rally up, and the two feel things out. Asuka trips Alexa, clamps on with a headlock, and she grinds Alexa down.

Alexa endures, Asuka turns her over to go after the arm, then she stands on Alexa’s arm. Alexa endures, Asuka shifts arms, but Alexa wrenches out to wrangle Asuka. Alexa shifts to a cording hold, but Asuka fights up and fires body shots. Alexa whips Asuka to a corner, but Asuka elbows her away! And BOOTS! Asuka goes up, leaps, and MISSILE DROPKICKS! Cover, TWO! Alexa stays in this but Asuka stays focused. Asuka drags Alexa around and gives her Kawada Kicks! SmackDown returns to single picture, and Asuka wrenches for a chicken wing! Alexa fights the Asuka Lock and JAWBREAKERS free! Alexa runs up to RUN Asuka over!

The fans rally as Alexa rallies, then hits a BLOCKBUSTER! The fans fire up as Alexa SLAPS, ROCKS, and KNEES Asuka down! Then SOMERSAULT SENTON! Cover, TWO! Asuka stays in this and Alexa grows frustrated. The fans rally while Alexa brings Asuka up. Asuka breaks free to URAKEN, SOBAT, FRONT KICK, and GERMAN SUPLEX! Alexa tumbles away, Asuka runs up, SLIDING KICK! Cover, TWO! The fans rally up as Asuka stands and takes aim. But Alexa ducks the buzzsaw! Cover, TWO! Alexa clinches, TWISTED- NO, Asuka rolls Alexa up! TWO! Alexa sits up, BUZZSAW! Cover, TWO!! Alexa survives but Asuka just fires up!

The fans rally as Asuka goes to the corner. Asuka climbs from the outside, and MISSILE- NO, Alexa dodges this time! Alexa kicks and DDTS! Cover, TWO! Asuka stays in this and the fans fire up! “This is Awesome!” as Alexa drags Asuka into the drop zone. Alexa goes up, up, and the fans fire up! TWISTED- NO, Asuka moves, so Alexa stops. Alexa won’t let Asuka sneak away, but then she gets caught in an ARMBAR!! Alexa flails, rolls, but ends up in an omoplata! RINGS OF SATURN!! Alexa fights around, pops her arm free for a cover, TWO!! Asuka reels Alexa in, NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO!!

The fans fire up as Alexa stays in this! Asuka fires up, the fans are with her, and she runs up, only for Alexa to ROCK her with a right! Alexa puts Asuka in the Tree of Woe, and she DROPKICKS Asuka out of it! Alexa climbs back up, and TWISTED BLISS onto knees!! Asuka still counters the moonsault, and hits the EMPRESS IMPACT!! Cover, Asuka wins!

Winner: Asuka, by pinfall (advances to Night of Champions)

The Empress says no one is ready for Asuka, and that has certainly been the case! But on Raw, we find out, will it be Jade Cargill or Roxanne Perez that meets Asuka in Saudi Arabia?

 

Jade Cargill, Mia Yim & B-Fab watch backstage.

And Fab says damn, Asuka just came back and she’s already making statements. Almost like she never left. Michin says maybe they need to make their own statements. They need to talk to Aldis about the tag titles. Fab agrees. Fab & Mia wish Jade luck before heading out. Byron walks in and asks if he can have a word. Jade says shoot. Byron says Asuka just advanced, but Jade has her match on Monday with Roxanne Perez. How does Jade feel about facing a talented competitor like Roxie? And how does she feel about the possibility of facing Asuka in the finals? Jade says “Rox” has potential. Roxie is quick and scrappy.

But she’s still trying to prove herself. And this isn’t a proving ground, this is a throne room, and Jade was built for royalty. As for Asuka, there’s a storm on the horizon. But news flash, Jade is that storm. This entire tournament wasn’t built for the future, but for a woman who can walk through fire, shatter glass ceilings, and take her crown on the way to the top. This Queen of the Ring, Jade isn’t just walking in to win. She’s here to reign. Will the Prodigy be washed away by the storm this Monday?

 

 

About Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)

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CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)

TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends

Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5

Classic POD is WAR


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Coverage

Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 6.19.25

Are we going to start trending upwards with Slammiversary to build toward?

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Last week’s episode was lacking in ring work but had decent story moments and segments. Starting the build to Slammiversary we can either launch nicely or things can always get worse. Jason Hotch and KC Navarro are the real shining stars of the last few months, so lets hope once they get over this Leon Slater idiot ship, they can push X Division wrestlers with actual talent for pro wrestling and not just flippy charisma vacuums.

Oh and let’s not forget, it is the episode they celebrate the 23rd anniversary of TNA! TWENTY – THREE!! Somewhere PCO hates this.

Ratings:

  • Sami Callihan vs Eric Young w/Losers: EY wins via Piledriver – ** 3/4
  • Lei Ying Lee & Masha Slamovich vs The Elegance Clique w/M & Personal Concierge: Elegantos win via Rarefied Air – ***
  • Eddie Edwards & JDC w/Alisha & Brian Myers vs Matt Cardona & Home Town Man: HTM wins via Cradle – *
  • Champion’s Challenge: The Rascalz, Joe Hendry, Leon Slater & Elijah vs The Kaiba Boys, Moose, Steve Maclin & Trick Williams: Elijah wins via Highwayman’s Farewell – ***

 

Results:

Sami Callihan vs Eric Young w/Losers

Sami knocks them all off the apron before the bell rings, he levels the loser children, finds a chair, attacks EY but EY counters and this is the excuse to use weapons since the bell didn’t ring yet. EY tries to break Sami’s hand on the steps with the chair, but Sami moves, throws EY back in the ring, bell rings and EY hits a Belly to Belly suplex for two. They slug it out, Sami goes for Headbutts, then Sami wants to run the ropes but a loser trips him, distracts long enough for EY to knock him out of the ring and loser children swarm as loser children do. EY does the classic, throw back out for losers to attack while EY grabs and distracts the ref. Sami is selling a few lame attacks from the losers like he got shot. It’s an excessive sell, so it’s honestly a dumb transitional moment.

EY levels Sami, Lariat into Scoop Slam, looks for the Macho Elbow but Sami hits the ropes to crotch EY. Sami Superplex time, but EY bites the face to make Sami drop, EY jumps at him but eats a straight right hand. Cactus Driver, but no, EY tries his Piledriver…they both gouge eyes at the same time, Sami catches an EY charge into a Flatliner as they’re both down…for…reasons? The selling in this match seems…poorly timed and kinda stupid. Hard Irish Whip, EY Flair Flips the corner, levels Sami, Macho Elbow for 2.9! EY threatens to hit the ref, but then goes to mad dog commentary. EY then wants to attack fans…he’s more unhinged than World Elite EY. Sami gives him the old Dick Twist into a Stunner but only for two! Losers try to distract, first one gets taken out, second one uses a chair, EY hits the Piledriver on Sami, EY wins.

I feel like this is gonna continue for a few weeks since it wasn’t a clean win. 

Mustafa Ali’s group comes out, and I refuse to say the name because it’s dumb and they’re already fraying at the seams. Ali wants an apology session, Tasha and Hotch apologize to him but Skyler bites back and refuses, even shoved Ali. So Ali challenges him to a “Call to Arms” match. What in the hell is a Call to Arms match? 

Lei Ying Lee & Masha Slamovich vs The Elegance Clique w/M & Personal Concierge

ASH does her borderline racist fake karate before Lei stares her down and tags in Heather. Heather avoids Lei, Lei throws a few Tornado Kicks to make a point and Heather tags out. Heather being 4’8″ helps her here. Concierge says “There’s no Karate in wrestling”. ASH, Lei and Masha are in the ring, ASH is trying to decide who she wants to face, but the Concierge google translated it and hands it to ASH, before the face team rocks ASH. Masha lifts up Lei and Lei does the Liu Kang Bicycle Kick, steering more into her Mortal Kombat aesthetic. Senton off the apron from Lei and Masha dives into the pile, the comedy heels are getting leveled. We go to commercial and come back with Lei getting Double Teamed but she spins it into a weird Neckbreaker..but can’t tag out just yet. Lei blocks Heather, Enzuigiri, simultaneous tag, Masha is Yakuza kicks for all and the 2 for 1 Lariat/DDT special. Near fall, but Masha goes for murder, but Heather breaks it, Rocket Launcher/Code Breaker from Elegance but Lei breaks up the pin. ASH tries to intimidate Lei with her fake Karate before throwing her out of the ring. Heather hits Lei with a handful of Glitter and then bounces her face off the post. Masha tries to stop ASH, Kelly’s music distracts Masha, Rarefied Air gives ASH the win.

Santino comes out and GOD DAMMIT no one wants to see Tommy Dreamer fight Mance Warner…that’s a useless thing. Pivot away…no one wants this. Oh no, now we have to listen to Steph talk too. Okay it seems to be a pivot, thankfully. Steph and Mance talk shit, Dreamer says something about Something is gonna happen…and Jake Something comes out. So…I guess we’re gonna build him up for 2 months and then job him out for 6 before he fucks off to his home galaxy or whatever? 

Really wish Indi just opened with the Billy Butcher classic of, “Oi Cunt!” – but this wasn’t bad. 

Eddie Edwards & JDC w/Alisha & Brian Myers vs Matt Cardona & Home Town Man

I hate… Cardona so much more now. Heel reasons for Cardona…go away heat for Deaner.

JDC wants the Home Town Man to start…and Deaner does his stupid Flip Flop and Fly, Cardona tags in, JDC is eating some offense, Cardona wants the Reboot, JDC powders, Cardona Dives but then Lish and the general numbers catch up to Cardona. Eddie is legal, and now they isolate Cardona with some decent tandem work and isolation. This turns into kind of a schmoz, lots of silly spots, near falls and then Home Town doofus gets the cradle pinfall on Eddie.

Whenever Deaner is involved I can’t be asked to care. The System beats Cardona and Deaner down, but Eddie did eat a pin. Which is embarrassing not even for work reasons, like it’s just sad.

Champion’s Challenge: The Rascalz, Joe Hendry, Leon Slater & Elijah vs The Kaiba Boys, Moose, Steve Maclin & Trick Williams

Elijah and Nic start things off, slow push off, arm wring, top wristlock, simple chain wrestling start. Nic breaks the chain and hits a Dropkick, Elijah runs the ropes and hits a Diving Lariat and starts the Rope Walk. Nic seems far to awake and alert for that move then, I hate how people pull that off too early. Wentz gets tagged in, Nic tags in Maclin who wasn’t looking for a tag, but him and Wentz have a nice clash, Trey tags in, they try to double him, but they pause and look at each other. Maclin asks for a tag, no one tags him so he Chops Ryan to tag him in and throws him in.

The little nod to Maclin and Rascalz history and the fact the faces realize Maclin isn’t a piece of shit. A little MCMG homage tandem attacks on Ryan, Wentz punctuates with the Handspring Knee Lift, Ryan tags out to Trick. Trick and Wentz go back and forth, Rascalz have Trick eating offense, Moose tries to slow things down, both Trick and Moose powder, Rascalz Double Golden Triangle Moonsaults. Trey gets tripped by Nic, Moose hits Lights Out, but there’s no referee so it’s a little chaotic.

Out of the commercial things are controlled kinda and we see a simultaneous tag to Moose and Leon. Leon comes out hot, level Moose with a Leg Lariat, attacks Nic Nemeth, attacks Ryan, and then Moose hits Leon with the Stun Gun. Moose looks to tag in Maclin but Maclin jumps off the apron. Trick takes the tag, keeps control, Trick forcibly tags in Maclin but Ryan tags himself in and pulls Leon to the Champions’ corner, Nic tags in and isolates Leon, with the Kaibas quick tagging and keeping Leon down.

Moose tags in, tries to Suplex Leon about four times but Leon stops it then counters the Suplex. Moose tries to cut him off, but the Champions distract the ref so the ref can’t see Leon tag out. Nic and Moose doubling up and Leon is the bump guy of this last portion of the match. Big Uranage from Moose…Moose looks for Lights Out but Small Package almost ruined things, Body Scissors Cradle, GAME CHANGER! Moose looks to hit a Jacknife Powerbomb but Leon turns it into a DDT. Maclin and Ryan start fighting, Nic Superkicks Maclin, Hendry and Nic tag in, Hendry is a house of fire. Sack of Shits for everyone! Nic, Ryan, there’s a pause when Hendry is face to face with Trick and Trick gets Uppercuts first then Sack of Shit! Standing Ovation on Nic, but Ryan blocks, Kaibas try a tandem attack but Hendry Lariats them both. Elijah tags in and is the maestro of the crowd and chopping Ryan to some fun. Ryan goes for a Polish Hammer but eats the Knee Lift. Signature spam time…

Ryan tries to use the International title but Maclin grabs the title away from Ryan, clocks Nic, Standing Ovation into the Highwayman’s Farewell. Champions lose!

Overall Score: 4/10

Well this was a rough one boys and girls. Sami and EY was just an overbooked shitshow, Lei Ying Lee is unfortunately in a spot where it’s obvious TNA has no clue how to use her, the Elegantos are the New Beautiful People, and I’m not mad at that. But you need to space out your goofball crap. You can’t have Elegance Clique, Home Town Moron and Santino in 3 consecutive segments. And if anyone goes “it was 3 out of 4” that’s doesn’t lessen my point, the beauty of Pro Wrestling being a variety show is…FOR VARIETY! When the lead match feels stupid because of bad pacing, poor selling and overbooking with two losers, it feels like a useless match with idiots, then comedy, followed by more comedy…you see how that’s literally NOT VARIETY.

Figure it out seriously. This was a disappointing episode. If you’re a casual viewer than it’s just chalk for TNA doing cringe and borderline goof crap since they’ve always steered a little more into the carny than other companies. But this show was…where’s Jisoo and Jenny? I feel like I need that gif:

two women standing in a kitchen with the words not bad but not good on the bottom

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