Entertainment
Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (8/19/22)
Let’s see who’s hot to trot!
HPW heads for Trotter’s Downfall!
Summer is almost over, and HPW is preparing for the Fall! Big opportunities are up for grabs in Trotter’s Downfall, who will be our Dark Horses?
A new tradition is about to begin!
The same teaser video that was played during Treasure Island plays again. The sound of horses galloping on a dirt track. Glimpses of wild horses on the open plains. The galloping transitions to wrestlers running the ropes in the ring. The sound of the ring mat rumbling and the horses galloping blend together until they’re almost the same. “Those whose spirits cannot be tamed, run the race so that glory can be claimed!” Then the date, “9/18/22” and a logo flashes on screen.
And now, King Nicolas Foolyere is on screen at his desk in HPW Headquarters. “Hello, HPW faithful. King Nicolas here, honored to announce the newest event that will be a staple of the HPW calendar.
“The Hyrule Warriors match at Clash of Fates is already becoming a grand tradition, with many stars in pro-wrestling, young and old, wanting in on the 33 spots and that golden opportunity to challenge for the HPW Triforce Championship. As such, the selection process is already proving very difficult. We can’t just favor veterans and legends of the business with so much young and hungry talent coming up. So HPW has created a solution in what we’re of course calling, The Dark Horse Stampede. On one night, we will see TEN up-and-coming names in wrestling in five one-on-one matches, and the winners will qualify for the Hyrule Warriors match. The eight entries will be…”
Ladrona the Thief Girl!
With sticky fingers and a keen eye, they mysterious and alluring Ladrona is always looking for a prize to swipe. But she never breaks the law, only the rules! She’ll even steal your heart if you aren’t careful. She wants in but will have to earn it. Who does she take this golden ticket from at the Dark Horse Stampede?
Laine of the Gerudo!
We’ve seen Tali make history when she became Death Mountain Champion, and we saw the Desert Flowers, Riju, Aveil & Buliara, make history when they became Trios Champions. Another rising star from Gerudo Valley could make history winning a spot in the Hyrule Warriors match! Will Laine bring the pain to the Dark Horse Stampede?
Rod Wyler of Parapa!
The “Greatest Wosu-ler of This Or Any Generation” is already salivating knowing he’s getting this opportunity. He’s got a chip on his shoulder and a bone to pick with everyone that got to HPW before he did, and looks to bury everyone put up against him. But will Rod become the Top Dog among these Dark Horses?
Teba of Rito Village!
Stoic and stern with eyes like a hawk, the White Winged Warrior is one of the best high fliers today, as well as a technical prodigy. This hybrid style has made Teba a big name coming out of Hebra Wrestling Heights, and the entire region as a whole. Will Teba swoop in and take one of those tickets to Clash of Fates?
Donny B. Kool, He Ain’t No Fool!
The OG, Original Geru, is slick, quick, and has hands like bricks! Before you know it, you’ll go splat on the mat and that’ll be that. Donny puts in the work because he ain’t no jerk, but don’t push him or he’ll go berserk! The Dark Horse Stampede could be his chance, will Donny slide all the way to the big dance?
Odolwa of Woodfall!
This tall, tribal blade dancer with body covered in tattoos has dominated his hometown wrestling scene in the Woodfall region of Termina. The Sword of the Southern Swamp has cut through into Hyrule, and his combination of speed and endurance has him running circles around most competition. Will he be dancing over fallen opponents on the way to the Clash of Fates?
Armos Knight, The Living Statue!
Whether or not he really is a statue brought to life, Armos Knight certainly looks carved from stone and is just as sturdy. He’s steamrolled many an opponent in his young career, and this could be the biggest moment of his career yet! Will Armos Knight bulldoze through this Dark Horse Stampede?
Byrne Lokomo, The Iron Claw!
Byrne isn’t a young, new wrestler, but he has finally built momentum as HPW has reached prominence. It almost seems like fate, and Byrne is blazing down the tracks towards this opportunity. Will he finally reach the top of the mountain through this Dark Horse Stampede?
The Great Boomerang, Hero to Goriyas Everywhere!
This masked luchador from the desert is hungry, for glory! And just as the name implies, you can throw him around all you want, he’ll just come right back! Wanting to represent for the Southwest Hyrule region as well as Goriyas around the world, Boomerang is taking aim at the top of HPW. Will that journey begin with the Dark Horse Stampede?
Ralph of Labrynna!
Although he is stubborn and hotheaded, rarely pondering the consequences of his own actions, he is a noble character deep down, not letting anyone get away with underhanded tactics. Ralph will throw caution to the wind and his body into his opponent’s if it means being victorious. Will he do just that to enter the Hyrule Warriors match?
My Thoughts:
I really love every single hype piece I just put in here, but especially the ones for Rod Wyler and Donny Be Kool. Ten new names, even though I haven’t fully used names from the past either. It’s just me, myself and I running HPW, so of course I’m running into problems like that, but I’ll do my best with this homestretch into late 2022 to give out more screen time and opportunities like the Dark Horse Stampede.
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Let’s Go Crazy! Let’s Get Nuts!
HyruleMania 5 approaches, and Kevin Gibdo must defend the Million Rupee Championship against Majora, who has something “special” in mind…
The Wrestling Roulette is spinning.
The wheel sits in a dark room, and the moon is visible through a round window. Majora says, “The moon goes through phases. It shows us different faces. The tides ebb and flow, going high and low, and put us through our paces. You think you can keep gambling? You think you can keep winning? You think you can survive as the wheel keeps spinning? Then let it go round ‘n’ round, round after round, and we’ll see who falls to the ground.” The wheel stops spinning, and lands on SPINNER’S CHOICE! Majora then busts through the wheel and gets right in the camera!
“Luck? Chance? Fate? Order? Chaos? W̸͉͚̫͎͎̎͗H̵͈̼̾̈́͋̅̆O̶͕̱͌͐͆̕ ̵̼̪̔̐̿̽C̶̭̫̉͘A̵̦̔̀̊͑͘Ŗ̸̡͓̘̀Ë̶̟͍̞̗́͒̀́͘͜Ş̵͎̩̹̈́͋̚͜?! What matters is victory and defeat! Controlling what you can control! And I swear that no matter what the wheel gives us, I will take that title from you! I use Spinner’s Choice to declare… MOON MADNESS!! Every three minutes, the wheel will spin and CHANGE match! Could you imagine the possibilities?! It makes my head spin!” And then his head spins!! Majora laughs maniacally, then his head stops so that it’s sideways. “There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I’m about to cross that line, care to join me?” Majora has set the terms, will Kevin Gibdo succumb to Moon Madness?
My Thoughts:
Here I go again, trying to be really innovative and over the top. I almost thought adding stipulation on top of stipulation would work, but in many cases, there are match types that contradict each other. A peak behind the curtain of kayfabe here where I could just choose the stipulations that don’t do that, but it might also just be easier from a writing standpoint to just do away with contradictions and redundancies and just have this match constantly make left turns into new territory. Get ready for a wild ride on this one!
About Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
Classic POD is WAR
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Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
Entertainment
Hockey Talk- Winter (Classic) Is Coming [121724]
Hockey Talk looks at Alex Ovechkin’s recovery and when he might be back. Plus, the Winter Classic fast approaches. Is Chicago ready?
In this week’s edition of Hockey Talk, the guys discuss Alex Ovechkin’s pending return and whether this might mean the Caps could get better than they have already been. The Winter Classic will be coming to us from Wrigley Feild on New Year’s Eve, with Patrick’s St. Louis Blues tangling with the Chicago Blackhawks. The guys take a look at this game and discuss how things have changed since Wrigley last hosted the Winter Classic in 2009. The NHL will be selecting its Quarter Century teams over the next month or so and the fellas discuss who will be shoo ins and also speculate as to some possible deep cuts for some well-known teams.
Today’s hosts are Dave Ungar (@AttitudeAgg) and Patrick O’Dowd (@WrestlngRealist).
- Alex Ovechkin creeps closer to returning
- The 2025 Winter Classis is coming
- The guys discuss who might make the cut for some Quarter Century Teams
About the Chairshot Radio Network
Created in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts, including POD is WAR, Women’s Wrestling Talk, Chairshot Radio daily editions, The #Miranda Show, Badlands’ Wrestling Mount Rushmores, The Outsider’s Edge, DWI Podcast, Bandwagon Nerds, the Greg DeMarco Show, 3 Man Weave, Five Rounds, Turnbuckle Talk, The Reaction and more! You can find these great shows each week at theChairshot.com and through our distribution partners, including podcasting’s most popular platforms.
The Chairshot Radio Network
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About Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
Classic POD is WAR
Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
Powered by RedCircle
Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!