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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (9/19/22)

Fallout from the Dark Horse Stampede!

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HPW News 2022

Welcome to the winner’s circle!

Ten ran the race but only five reached the goal! HPW Dark Horse Stampede has paved the way to Clash of Fates, hear from the future of wrestling!

 

Teba walks in.

“Oh, right, I forgot you guys do this kind of stuff.” Teba walks up to the cameraman. “Well, uh, I won fair and square, but Wyler was a sore loser. I put him in his place after, and now I’m moving on. That Hyrule Warriors match is a great opportunity, and also just a great concept to really test your resolve. I’m really looking forward to this, and I hope to see you all there.” Will the White Winged Warrior be THE Hyrule Warrior going into this year’s HyruleMania?

 

Ladrona walks in.

She waves hello and walks over. “Did you like what you saw? Yeah? Good stuff, huh? I think I got a bit lucky there at the end, but y’know, sometimes luck’s all you need. Heck, a lot of the Hyrule Warriors match is luck, y’know? You get sent out early, you really gotta fight through to make it to the end. But you get sent out late, you’re fresh and able to get at those who’ve been fighting for like half an hour or something. So wish me luck.” Ladrona winks and heads out. The Thief Girl’s charms have gotten her this far, will she make it to the end of the Hyrule Warriors match?

 

Ralph walks in.

The Lad from Labrynna is fired up after his win. “That’s how it’s done! I didn’t need to dance around and start some silly chant. I did what pro-wrestlers do, and that’s wrestle. And that is why Donny the entertainer lost! The Hyrule Warriors match is going to be full of fighters and wrestlers, and I’ll take them all on if I have to. I’m not just aiming for the top spot, I’m going to take the top spot, and I’m going to go to HyruleMania 3 and the Triforce Championship. Put money on it!” Ralph’s incredibly confident, but will he win it all betting on himself?

 

Donny B. Kool stops by?

This is quite the surprise, as none of the other losers wanted to stick around. “Hey guys, I know things didn’t go my way, but that’s the game we play. Ralph won fair and square, but your boy Donny’s not going anywhere. Who knows where, who knows when, but you will see me again. Alright, y’all, be cool to each other now.” Donny heads out, but what will the future hold for the Original Geru?

 

Odolwa walks in.

Odolwa beats his chest and growls as he flexes. “I am Odolwa, God of Woodfall… I demand tribute in the form of competition! And I shall find satisfaction in the Hyrule Warriors match! All 32 other fighters shall fall before me! And then, so will the Triforce Champion! WHOA-SHAA!” Odolwa leaves after shouting his war cry, will he sharpen his edge against the best HPW has to offer?

 

Byrne Lokomo and Chancellor Cole walk in.

The miniature manager leads the way, applauding and motioning towards his victorious client. “Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce myself. I am Chancellor Cole, and this is not just the Man with the Iron Claw, this is not just the man who won the main event of the first-ever Dark Horse Stampede. This is the man who will win the main event of Clash of Fates, then win the main event of HyruleMania, Byrne Lokomo. Armos Knight is big, Armos Knight is strong, and Armos Knight is tough. But if not even the big, strong and resilient Living Statue could stop Byrne, then nothing, and I mean nothing, will stop him from taking the HPW Triforce Championship.”

Byrne flexes his iron claw and says, “A train is hard to stop once it’s built momentum. I have momentum now, and I’m only going to pick up speed. Nothing will derail me from the track I’m on. So either get out of the way or get run through.” Byrne heads out and Cole follows, will this be a nonstop trip to the top of HPW?


My Thoughts:

It only felt fair to get some “fallout” promos from our Dark Horses, since we get these same kind of promos after big events with the big names. And I decided to include Donny because he’s just a really fun character. I really do want to find a spot for him in HPW, but we’ll just have to wait and see how things shake out in our homestretch (Clash of Fates, Fyter Feast and HyruleMania).

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 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

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Entertainment

Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (12/18/24)

Majora speaks.

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HPW Skull Kid News

Let’s Go Crazy! Let’s Get Nuts!

HyruleMania 5 approaches, and Kevin Gibdo must defend the Million Rupee Championship against Majora, who has something “special” in mind…

 

The Wrestling Roulette is spinning.

The wheel sits in a dark room, and the moon is visible through a round window. Majora says, “The moon goes through phases. It shows us different faces. The tides ebb and flow, going high and low, and put us through our paces. You think you can keep gambling? You think you can keep winning? You think you can survive as the wheel keeps spinning? Then let it go round ‘n’ round, round after round, and we’ll see who falls to the ground.” The wheel stops spinning, and lands on SPINNER’S CHOICE! Majora then busts through the wheel and gets right in the camera!

“Luck? Chance? Fate? Order? Chaos? W̸͉͚̫͎͎̎͗H̵͈̼̾̈́͋̅̆O̶͕̱͌͐͆̕ ̵̼̪̔̐̿̽C̶̭̫̉͘A̵̦̔̀̊͑͘Ŗ̸̡͓̘̀Ë̶̟͍̞̗́͒̀́͘͜Ş̵͎̩̹̈́͋̚͜?! What matters is victory and defeat! Controlling what you can control! And I swear that no matter what the wheel gives us, I will take that title from you! I use Spinner’s Choice to declare… MOON MADNESS!! Every three minutes, the wheel will spin and CHANGE match! Could you imagine the possibilities?! It makes my head spin!” And then his head spins!! Majora laughs maniacally, then his head stops so that it’s sideways. “There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I’m about to cross that line, care to join me?” Majora has set the terms, will Kevin Gibdo succumb to Moon Madness?


My Thoughts:

Here I go again, trying to be really innovative and over the top. I almost thought adding stipulation on top of stipulation would work, but in many cases, there are match types that contradict each other. A peak behind the curtain of kayfabe here where I could just choose the stipulations that don’t do that, but it might also just be easier from a writing standpoint to just do away with contradictions and redundancies and just have this match constantly make left turns into new territory. Get ready for a wild ride on this one!

About Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)

WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling) 

THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)

FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)

SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast 

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)

TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends

Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5

Classic POD is WAR


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Entertainment

Hockey Talk- Winter (Classic) Is Coming [121724]

Hockey Talk looks at Alex Ovechkin’s recovery and when he might be back. Plus, the Winter Classic fast approaches. Is Chicago ready?

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Chairshot Radio Large

In this week’s edition of Hockey Talk, the guys discuss Alex Ovechkin’s pending return and whether this might mean the Caps could get better than they have already been. The Winter Classic will be coming to us from Wrigley Feild on New Year’s Eve, with Patrick’s St. Louis Blues tangling with the Chicago Blackhawks. The guys take a look at this game and discuss how things have changed since Wrigley last hosted the Winter Classic in 2009. The NHL will be selecting its Quarter Century teams over the next month or so and the fellas discuss who will be shoo ins and also speculate as to some possible deep cuts for some well-known teams.

Today’s hosts are Dave Ungar (@AttitudeAgg) and Patrick O’Dowd (@WrestlngRealist).

  • Alex Ovechkin creeps closer to returning
  • The 2025 Winter Classis is coming
  • The guys discuss who might make the cut for some Quarter Century Teams

About the Chairshot Radio Network

Created in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts, including POD is WAR, Women’s Wrestling Talk, Chairshot Radio daily editions, The #Miranda Show, Badlands’ Wrestling Mount Rushmores, The Outsider’s Edge, DWI Podcast, Bandwagon Nerds, the Greg DeMarco Show, 3 Man Weave, Five Rounds, Turnbuckle Talk, The Reaction and more! You can find these great shows each week at theChairshot.com and through our distribution partners, including podcasting’s most popular platforms.

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About Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)

WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling) 

THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)

FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)

SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast 

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)

TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends

Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5

Classic POD is WAR


Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!

All Shows On Demand


Powered by RedCircle


Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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