Entertainment
Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (9/24/22)
Prepare for the Clash of Fates!

The Hyrule Coliseum will be shining with gold!
HPW returns to the Hyrule Coliseum, and the champions are under siege! Will Arrow Club regret collecting so many belts?
Zelda and Hilda prepare for their showdown!
Set to Heart Piece’s on Fire, Her Grace is sparring with Ravio, pumping weights and running on a treadmill. But the Princess of Hyrule is out in nature, going as hard at jump rope as she can. She also does sit-ups while hanging from a tree branch, Impa holding her in place. Zelda chops wood and lifts rocks, Hilda uses a resistance machine for her ab crunches and they both run the ropes in rings. Zelda does intense leg lifting, ab testing core exercises while Hilda tests the strength of her kick! 1850! 1995! 2045! 2150!! Zelda drop steps on the dirt road while Hilda practices handsprings on a gymnastics floor.
Zelda jogs the snowy roads of Hebra while being chased by Impa on horseback, and Hilda has Ravio forge her a secret weapon. They both are seen running uphill, but Hilda is on a smooth ramp while Zelda is on a rocky mountain path in the Eldin region! Zelda reaches the summit and shouts, “HILDAAAA~!!” The determination echoes out, but whose spirit will be truly unbreakable in this showdown of goddesses?
SA’OTEN!
The Desert Flowers, Riju, Aveil & Buliara, arrive at the Kara Kara Bazaar oasis and make their way to the Kara Kara Inn. Waiting inside are Tali & Shabonne. “Vasaaq, ladies,” Shabonne greets. “Come, have a seat.” “Sarqso,” Riju says. The Desert Flowers sit on the pillow seats across from Shabonne & Tali at their short-legged round table. Do they want something to eat? No, thank you. Okay, what about to drink? No, no, it’s fine. They just want to get to the business Shabonne mentioned in her call. Right, of course. Shabonne called them here to talk about a common enemy: The Arrow Club.
Buliara asks how Arrow Club is a common enemy. Well, the Desert Flowers lost their HPW Trios Championships at ThunderStruck, and then Arrow Club swoops in to take those titles off Ganondorf and his team. Then, they recruit “that little guppy” to cheat the HPW Death Mountain Championship off Tali. Therefore, the five of them have a reason to target the Arrow Club. The five of them? Is Shabonne going to fight, too? Hey now, they’re all Gerudo sisters. When they win, she wins! Alright, sure. But then how does she suggest they go about this? Is this to create a faction? Not necessarily. But Shabonne is thinking of a team-up.
And so, a video was posted.
“Yo, Arrow Club!” Shabonne starts. “You voes think you’re hot stuff just because you grabbed up gold. As far as I am concerned, Torbevito stole the Death Mountain Championship from Tali and do not deserve to have the title after failing all those times before!” Riju steps in to say, “And as for the Trios Championships, the Desert Flowers deserve a chance at redemption. Ganondorf’s team won those belts in a Triple Threat, pinning Forged By Violence. We should’ve gotten a rematch, but we’ll settle for turning Bad Croc Scaly and the Young Ducks into the new shortest reigning champions in HPW history.”
“But we know we can’t just say we’re the challengers,” Shabonne says. “So here’s the deal. At Clash of Fates 3, HPW makes history with its first QUARTET MATCH! Four on four to settle the score, and WINNERS TAKE ALL! If Tali and the Desert Flowers win, the titles return to where they belong! But because we have to be fair and give you fools a reason to accept the challenge, if Tali and the Desert Flowers lose, they will never challenge you all for those titles again. So what do you say? Or should I say, what does Fin say? After all, he is your daddy.” Shabonne is throwing down insults at the same time as she throws down the gauntlet, will Arrow Club accept such a huge gamble?
Midna is fuming!
“GHIRAHIM!” she shouts on a Twitter video. “GHIRAHIM! Stop ducking me, you argyle patterned snake! You may still have the last Fused Shadow, but that means I beat you twice already! And I know, that as much as you want to keep me down, that as much as you want to make me look like a fool, you’re the fool because you can’t even beat a three-foot imp! So unless you want to be a fool, a loser, and a coward, you WILL face me at Clash of Fates! And just so there are no excuses, let’s make it… NO HOLDS BARRED!”
Ghirahim responds!
“OoOoOoOo, I’m so scared~!” He mocks Midna with spooky fingers and an exaggerated, puckered up face. “But if you want the humiliation so badly, why stop at No Holds Barred? Let’s really raise the stakes! Let’s really go nuts at Clash of Fates! Let’s go all the way to… an I QUIT MATCH!! And that means, if- No, WHEN I win, you must give up on EVER getting the last piece back! You’ll be stuck as an imp FOREVER!” The Living Blade laughs, but will he be the one saying those dreaded words to the Twilight Princess?
My Thoughts:
Clash of Fates 3 is going to be huge with all this! I thought about making the 4v4 match a #1 contenders match but then that’d push the title matches back to either Fyter Fest or HyruleMania 3. Going Winners Take All now speeds things up and puts plenty of drama on the event. And I meant to do more with Midna and Ghirahim sooner but I just kinda lost track of their story with everything else going on. But this I Quit match will be their blow-off, and then they’ll each worry about something else for HyruleMania.
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Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
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Bandwagon Nerds
Bandwagon Nerds #288: Disney In The Desert
Disney makes a controversial decision about where it is building its 7th theme park. Plus, loads of trailers, Thunderbolts* news, DCU updates, and more!

Patrick returns to the show this week and leads the guys through a stacked Trailer Park, including the most recent previews of Old Guard 2, The Long Walk, Peacemaker Season 2, and Stick. Patrick also shares his thoughts with Dave and Tunney about Thunderbolts* and addresses some interesting rumors about what didn’t make it into the film. Meanwhile, Disney makes a very divisive decision about a 7th theme park, and President Trump’s trade war targets the film industry. It sounds crazy, but it’s true. If you are curious, we have answers, so make sure you tune in!
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PROWRESTLINGTEES.COM/TheChairshot – Makes a GREAT GIFT!!!
About Bandwagon Nerds
Join Patrick O’Dowd, David Ungar, PC Tunney, Rey Cash, and DPP as they keep everyone up on all things nerd and maybe add some new nerds along the way. It’s the Bandwagon Nerds Podcast!
About Chairshot Radio Network
Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY – Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
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CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE’s PPV/PLE history)
http://TheChairshot.com PRESENTS…IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O’Dowd’s 5X5
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Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts… Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
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About Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
Classic POD is WAR
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Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!

Prepare for the most electrifying even of the HPW calendar!
While the stage is set for Blood & Thunder 4 and the HPW World Trios Championships, HPW must also address the return of KAGE!
Thundra Plateau is ready.
Wrestling is Life, but life has its stormy weather. The rain is going to be hot in June, but will the reign continue through the Summer? The Dark Forces may have failed to take the Undisputed Triforce World Championship from Zelda, but they still have the World Trios Championships. Harlequin, Lupay & Glutko will step inside the double ring, double cage to defend their gold. On one side, Arrow Club’s special combination of Fin Balure, Torbevito & Bad Croc Scaly. On the other, a new combination of its own in Cia, Lana & Midna.
Speaking of Cia, Lana & Midna…
The three of them are together, dressed in workout attire, in what appears to be a dance studio. This is a collaboration stream for Midna and Lana as they’re both big presences on the internet, aka “influencers.” Lana and Midna wave and say hi, and they give introductions, including Cia, who is reluctant to be standing there. Cia doesn’t know why they need to do this. Lana says they have to improve their teamwork. They may have won against Los Taros Locos, but it was really sketchy there for a second. Midna adds that doing a dance routine together is great for their timing and coordination.
Cia says she didn’t mean that, she meant having to stream it! Oh, well obviously, combining Midna’s viewing audience with Lana’s, and HPW’s overall, this makes huge numbers! So? And huge money…! Cia raises her eyebrow and says, “Oh really?” The trio sets up, and Lana says obviously they first have to learn the steps. Midna brings up, “Wait, what song are we dancing to?” Oh, good point. Lana was thinking something from Lulu. Cia asks, “Lulu? From the Indigo-Go’s?” Midna says Lulu’s got a great solo album. Lana agrees! That’s so great that they like the same music. Cia isn’t as familiar with her solo stuff, so she’ll rely on them for this.
Lana suggests they go with Energetic Me. For one, it has the most energy, duh. And it still has a dance vibe, which is the whole point. Midna says she might’ve gone with Royal Discotheque or Ten Outta Ten, but she sees Lana’s point. Lana shows them the dance moves she has in mind. Left arm up, bent at the elbow, and the hand up against the side of the chest. Then they switch so the right arm goes up to mirror that position while the left hand goes back to the hip. Maybe add a little hip pop as that happens. Do that a couple times, and then turn to the right. This puts the left hand on the back of the hip, right hand on the back of the neck for a sexy pose.
Then you turn to flip it the other way, then do a 360 with a big neck whipping, hair flipping move. Then finish with feet apart and double V’s up by the eyes, maybe with a wink. Cia says, “Yeah, okay…” while Midna says, “I like it!” Midna says she’ll set up in the middle. Cia asks why Midna is in the middle, and Midna says it’s symmetry. She’s the tallest, Cia and Lana are about the same, it makes sense. Yeah, but it also means Midna is the center of attention. Well, that’s just coincidental. Lana says it doesn’t matter, the point is them doing it all in synch. Cia sighs and says, “Fine.” Midna is in the middle, Cia is on her right, and the music plays.
Left arm, right arm, left arm, right arm, pose to the right, pose to the left, 360 spin and neck whip, then double V. Midna nailed it, but Cia was lagging. Cia defends she was not, but Lana says it’s alright, they’ll just keep trying. They run through it a couple more times, they do tighten it up, and all three feel really good about how that went.
The Dark Forces are watching.
They aren’t impressed by the “little dance party.” Harlequin says the Faces of Evil are way better anyway. Especially with the classics like the Thriller dance and Macarena. Zant says, “The Macarena? Pfft, and people think I’m a dork…” Harlequin says, “Don’t you dare mock the Macarena!” Harlequin changes tabs on the computer and starts playing the song! After the introduction, he lifts his right arm up flat, then his left. Then he turns the right hand up, the left hand up, puts his right hand on his left shoulder, left hand on right shoulder, then moves right hand up behind his head, and then his left.
Now his arms crisscross, right hand on left hip and left hand on right hip, to then switch so right hand on right hip and left hand on left hip. And of course, he swivels his hips in one big circle to go with “HEY~ Macarena! AIGHT!” Zant rolls his eyes while Harlequin keeps going, jumping 90 degrees to his left. Ganon walks in, Ghirahim following behind, and he tells Harlequin to “turn that crap off.” Harlequin pouts but he does as told. Ganon seethes as he takes a seat in his big arm chair. “Needless to say… Wrestling is Life didn’t go how I’d hoped. What was Kage even doing there?! Did either of you have any idea he was going to betray us?!”
Zant and Ghirahim are a bit flustered. Zant isn’t even sure Kage was part of The Dark Forces at the time Ganon took ownership. He’d kinda gone rogue at some point, didn’t he? Ghirahim agrees, it didn’t seem like he was even aligned with Cia and the others. All the more reason for Kage to keep his nose out of Ganon’s business! If Kage cared about the Dark Forces, then he would’ve helped them fight back at HyruleMania, or any time since. Kage clearly just wants the title, same as Ganon, so he’s a dead man walking. Speaking of that… Where’s Kevin? He came back in April, why isn’t he here?
Somewhere dark and spooky…
Heavy footsteps can be heard echoing as Kevin Gibdo moves down the hallway. He speaks with a low, airy voice, “Majora… Your madness… spread like wildfire… You thought by setting me ablaze… I would crumble into ash… You were wrong! Instead, I have been purified…! Purged of flaws and weaknesses… I now come forth… as gold!” There’s a light at the end of the hall, and Kevin enters a grand hall, with treasure gleaming in the light. At the center is the sarcophagus. Kevin walks up to it, opens it, and then his burnt and tattered bandages fall away before he steps inside. The sarcophagus closes, then the eyes on it begin to glow… Then the entire thing glows!
The glowing becomes a shining light, and that shining becomes so bright that nothing can be seen. It is clear things between Kevin and Majora are not over. Will the Masked Monster even stand a chance once the Gibdo of All Gibdos is restored to full strength?
Back to the Dark Forces…
Shabonne says, “I’m sure Kevin is just fine doing whatever Gibdos do on their time off.” Tali says, “What matters is what I’m about to do to that tiny little weasel with the Goddess Championship. If The Dark Forces is gonna have all the gold, then I need to squash her like a bug and take that title off of whatever’s left!” Ganon nods and says he likes the initiative. Tali will start on her own Triple Crown as the Dark Forces will make Hyrule Pro-Wrestling their kingdom! The group cheers while raising a toast! And then Harlequin gets Glutko and Lupay to join in on the Macarena, to which Ganon groans and facepalms.
And so, the ThunderStruck card is set!
The double ring, double cage will rattle with Blood & Thunder as the HPW World Trios Championships are on the line! The Gerudo Ace looks to settle a grudge with the Hero’s Shadow! And now, the Million Rupee Championship and HPW Goddess Championships will also be on the line! Will the Dark Forces absolutely dominate the Summer? Be ready to endure the heat on Friday, June 20th!
About Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
Classic POD is WAR
Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
Powered by RedCircle
Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!