Entertainment

Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (10/10/22)

Kage has something to say.

Published

2 years ago

October 10, 2022

Steven Mitchell

The HPW Triforce Champion responds to the Hero of Hyrule.

After seeing HPW: Deep Dive, the Triforce Champion, Kage, has something to say. How will he respond to the challenge within a challenge Link issued?

Kage glares at the camera.

He has no face paint, and his eyes aren’t red. Was he wearing contacts the entire time? Without all that, he looks just like Link. Which makes sense, because he’s Link’s twin… But Kage takes a deep breath before finally speaking. “It’s complicated. It’s something we can’t get around. Those were your words, Link. That’s how you feel about this. But it’s not that complicated at all, actually. I got kidnapped by some old bastard while you lived with a family! You had friends and a life like everyone else! But I am and always will be a weapon! I know nothing but fighting, and pain, and anger, and violence, and hate!

“So… you asked me what I want. You gave me the choice: brother or enemy. You told me that we couldn’t deny we were brothers by blood, but it was still up to me. How noble of you. But I don’t think being blood amounts to a damn thing for us! I’ve shed blood! I’ve spilt blood! Have you? Have you ever had to worry about losing blood when you had mommy and daddy there to patch you up? Have you ever had to fight for your life just so you could make enough Rupees to eat? Don’t bother answering, we all know the answer. But then I guess that only leaves us with being enemies. And as my enemy, you will receive no mercy from me.”

Kage takes a moment to calm down. He also seems to be thinking while he rests his head on one hand. “But here’s something we can do. Here’s how being blood brothers can mean something for the two of us. Our match, our rematch one-on-one for the Hyrule Pro-Wrestling Triforce Championship… will be a BLOOD MATCH! Not a First Blood match, that would be letting you off easy. A Blood Match can only end when BOTH of us are bleeding! It will be no disqualifications, no count-outs, and falls count anywhere, which means I can do anything and everything to make sure I bleed you dry all over Hyrule Coliseum!

“You said you’d destroy me as your enemy. Then as your enemy, you better damn well know that I’m going to do the same to you.” Kage then reaches out and stops the recording. Blood brothers, enemies in the ring, what will be left of Link and Kage after Clash of Fates?

My Thoughts:

Clash of Fates 3 is building up to be something pretty big. The Hyrule Warriors match is already a big, lengthy match, but then there’s the 4v4 for all those titles, Ghirahim VS Midna is going to be violent because it’s an I Quit Match, Zelda VS Hilda’s going to be really competitive given the hype, and now the grudge match for the top title is going to be bloody because it has to be! Strap in for this one, it’s gonna be wild!

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About Chairshot Radio Network

MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

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