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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (12/1/22)
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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (12/1/22)

Get ready for New Year’s Eve!

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HPW News 2022

The Celebration of Greatness is set!

With Fyter Feast sorting things out, we’re ready now for HyruleMania 3! Get ready for the who, what, where and when of the Celebration of Greatness!

 

HyruleMania 3: December 31st, 2022!

As is the tradition, this incredible event will close out the year on New Year’s Eve! And it’ll be in the Hyrule Great Forest, right in front of the Great Deku Tree!

 

Look at all the title matches!

For the HPW Death Mountain Championship:

Torbevito prepares to defend against FOUR opponents in the third-ever Death Mountain Championship Ladder Match! The Son of the Whirlpool will have a Desert Flower, the Twilight Princess, the Living Blade, and the God of Woodfall. Two years in a row, a new champion has been crowned through this match. Will history repeat itself? Or will Torbevito find a way to break the streak and survive into the new year?

For the HPW Trios Championships:

After making it through the massive Three By Four match, it will be the Dames of the Dunes taking on the Arrow Club’s Bad Croc Scaly & The Young Ducks! Tali, Buliara & Riju want revenge for the All or Nothing Quartet match, but the Arrow Club says if they beat ’em once, they can beat ’em again! Will the Celebration of Greatness become a #SuperQUACKParty? Or will the Gerudo Alliance bring home gold?

For the HPW Termina Championship:

The Arrow Club took a lot from the Gerudo Ace, but he looks to take something back from them. Ganondorf may not be all that humble, but he looks to humble Fin Balure while becoming HPW’s first Triple Crown Champion! Will history be made to close out the year?

For the HPW Goddess Championship:

It is an epic tiebreaker between Princess of Hyrule and Sorceress of Shadows! Veran is the only person to have pinned Zelda in the almost two YEARS she’s been champion, but then lost in the rematch. Now we have the trilogy aligning with the Celebration of Greatness, where we will see who is truly the greatest in the Women’s Division! Will Zelda continue this reign of dominance? Or will Veran return to her former glory?

And of course, for the HPW Triforce Championship:

The Hero’s Shadow shed blood, sweat and tears, and even drew blood from his brother, Link, to keep this title. He has proven ruthless in the ring, but he might be facing the only person who can match him. Igos du Ikana is cold and heartless, and not just because he’s a skeleton. He has held the TCW Championship, the predecessor of the Termina Champion, which Igos helped introduce to HPW. Now he aims for Kage’s throne. Fiery rage colliding with cold-blooded calculation, something has to give.

 

G͘̕͢҉U͝E̸̡̢S͏͘S͢ ̵̴͘͡W͜H̡҉͏Ó̀

Guess Who, part 1

I̶’̷d̵͡ ̢̀I̷̢̧’͜͢͢d̸́ I’d say your c҉h̷͜͞a͝҉͟  chances ą͡r̵͟͜e͏̵̨̛͢ are a million to none!
But let’s have f̢͠u̢͟ņ f̢͘u͘҉n̵ fun anyway!

HyruleProWrestlingFaction FacesofEvilGIF

 

But wait, there’s more!

Humpback Hook Halibut releases a statement.

“After the brawling that persist after Fyter Feast’s main event, there is a lot of tension in the men’s locker room that we cannot allow to continue. Firstly, the issue of the Dark Forces and the UnderWorld Order. It is clear all of the faction members being present is a recipe for disaster, so we must limit this to a one-on-one match. This will be Gibdo VS Gibdo to name the one and only Gibdo in HPW! There will be a ringside ban on all other members between the Dark Forces and uWo, or else there will be indefinite suspensions. This is your only warning.

“As for the other brawl between Groose and Skull Kid… That shall be handled in its own way. There will still be a ringside ban, and this will apply to Tingle and Ladrona as Groose’s tag partners. But more than a ringside ban, this will be settled with something very special for HyruleMania: Hair VS Mask! If Groose loses, his pointy red pompadour will be buzzed off his head. But if Skull Kid loses, he must stop wearing that strange, heart-shaped mask. There will be no count outs and no disqualifications, there must be a winner inside that ring! And I wish them both the best of luck.”

HUGE grudge matches made for the Celebration of Greatness! Who will be the Gibdo of All Gibdos? Will Groose end up a bald eagle? Or will Skull Kid be forced to show his face?


My Thoughts:

I may be wasting a lot of good match intro ideas with this article, but as I needed to announce the grudge matches that are going to fill out the card, I figured I should also hype up the established matches. And if you’re wondering about that “Guess Who/Face your FOE” thing, just wait and see. And yes maybe it is a bit Bray Wyatt White Rabbit but whatever, I’ve already copied a lot of other stuff from wrestling in the real world.

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Bandwagon Nerds #288: Disney In The Desert

Disney makes a controversial decision about where it is building its 7th theme park. Plus, loads of trailers, Thunderbolts* news, DCU updates, and more!

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Bandwagon Nerds Mario

Patrick returns to the show this week and leads the guys through a stacked Trailer Park, including the most recent previews of Old Guard 2, The Long Walk, Peacemaker Season 2, and Stick. Patrick also shares his thoughts with Dave and Tunney about Thunderbolts* and addresses some interesting rumors about what didn’t make it into the film. Meanwhile, Disney makes a very divisive decision about a 7th theme park, and President Trump’s trade war targets the film industry. It sounds crazy, but it’s true. If you are curious, we have answers, so make sure you tune in!

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Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)

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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (5/9/25)

June will be electric!

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Prepare for the most electrifying even of the HPW calendar!

While the stage is set for Blood & Thunder 4 and the HPW World Trios Championships, HPW must also address the return of KAGE!

 

Thundra Plateau is ready.

Wrestling is Life, but life has its stormy weather. The rain is going to be hot in June, but will the reign continue through the Summer? The Dark Forces may have failed to take the Undisputed Triforce World Championship from Zelda, but they still have the World Trios Championships. Harlequin, Lupay & Glutko will step inside the double ring, double cage to defend their gold. On one side, Arrow Club’s special combination of Fin Balure, Torbevito & Bad Croc Scaly. On the other, a new combination of its own in Cia, Lana & Midna.

 

Speaking of Cia, Lana & Midna…

The three of them are together, dressed in workout attire, in what appears to be a dance studio. This is a collaboration stream for Midna and Lana as they’re both big presences on the internet, aka “influencers.” Lana and Midna wave and say hi, and they give introductions, including Cia, who is reluctant to be standing there. Cia doesn’t know why they need to do this. Lana says they have to improve their teamwork. They may have won against Los Taros Locos, but it was really sketchy there for a second. Midna adds that doing a dance routine together is great for their timing and coordination.

Cia says she didn’t mean that, she meant having to stream it! Oh, well obviously, combining Midna’s viewing audience with Lana’s, and HPW’s overall, this makes huge numbers! So? And huge money…! Cia raises her eyebrow and says, “Oh really?” The trio sets up, and Lana says obviously they first have to learn the steps. Midna brings up, “Wait, what song are we dancing to?” Oh, good point. Lana was thinking something from Lulu. Cia asks, “Lulu? From the Indigo-Go’s?” Midna says Lulu’s got a great solo album. Lana agrees! That’s so great that they like the same music. Cia isn’t as familiar with her solo stuff, so she’ll rely on them for this.

Lana suggests they go with Energetic Me. For one, it has the most energy, duh. And it still has a dance vibe, which is the whole point. Midna says she might’ve gone with Royal Discotheque or Ten Outta Ten, but she sees Lana’s point. Lana shows them the dance moves she has in mind. Left arm up, bent at the elbow, and the hand up against the side of the chest. Then they switch so the right arm goes up to mirror that position while the left hand goes back to the hip. Maybe add a little hip pop as that happens. Do that a couple times, and then turn to the right. This puts the left hand on the back of the hip, right hand on the back of the neck for a sexy pose.

Then you turn to flip it the other way, then do a 360 with a big neck whipping, hair flipping move. Then finish with feet apart and double V’s up by the eyes, maybe with a wink. Cia says, “Yeah, okay…” while Midna says, “I like it!” Midna says she’ll set up in the middle. Cia asks why Midna is in the middle, and Midna says it’s symmetry. She’s the tallest, Cia and Lana are about the same, it makes sense. Yeah, but it also means Midna is the center of attention. Well, that’s just coincidental. Lana says it doesn’t matter, the point is them doing it all in synch. Cia sighs and says, “Fine.” Midna is in the middle, Cia is on her right, and the music plays.

Left arm, right arm, left arm, right arm, pose to the right, pose to the left, 360 spin and neck whip, then double V. Midna nailed it, but Cia was lagging. Cia defends she was not, but Lana says it’s alright, they’ll just keep trying. They run through it a couple more times, they do tighten it up, and all three feel really good about how that went.

The Dark Forces are watching.

They aren’t impressed by the “little dance party.” Harlequin says the Faces of Evil are way better anyway. Especially with the classics like the Thriller dance and Macarena. Zant says, “The Macarena? Pfft, and people think I’m a dork…” Harlequin says, “Don’t you dare mock the Macarena!” Harlequin changes tabs on the computer and starts playing the song! After the introduction, he lifts his right arm up flat, then his left. Then he turns the right hand up, the left hand up, puts his right hand on his left shoulder, left hand on right shoulder, then moves right hand up behind his head, and then his left.

Now his arms crisscross, right hand on left hip and left hand on right hip, to then switch so right hand on right hip and left hand on left hip. And of course, he swivels his hips in one big circle to go with “HEY~ Macarena! AIGHT!” Zant rolls his eyes while Harlequin keeps going, jumping 90 degrees to his left. Ganon walks in, Ghirahim following behind, and he tells Harlequin to “turn that crap off.” Harlequin pouts but he does as told. Ganon seethes as he takes a seat in his big arm chair. “Needless to say… Wrestling is Life didn’t go how I’d hoped. What was Kage even doing there?! Did either of you have any idea he was going to betray us?!”

Zant and Ghirahim are a bit flustered. Zant isn’t even sure Kage was part of The Dark Forces at the time Ganon took ownership. He’d kinda gone rogue at some point, didn’t he? Ghirahim agrees, it didn’t seem like he was even aligned with Cia and the others. All the more reason for Kage to keep his nose out of Ganon’s business! If Kage cared about the Dark Forces, then he would’ve helped them fight back at HyruleMania, or any time since. Kage clearly just wants the title, same as Ganon, so he’s a dead man walking. Speaking of that… Where’s Kevin? He came back in April, why isn’t he here?

 

Somewhere dark and spooky…

Heavy footsteps can be heard echoing as Kevin Gibdo moves down the hallway. He speaks with a low, airy voice, “Majora… Your madness… spread like wildfire… You thought by setting me ablaze… I would crumble into ash… You were wrong! Instead, I have been purified…! Purged of flaws and weaknesses… I now come forth… as gold!” There’s a light at the end of the hall, and Kevin enters a grand hall, with treasure gleaming in the light. At the center is the sarcophagus. Kevin walks up to it, opens it, and then his burnt and tattered bandages fall away before he steps inside. The sarcophagus closes, then the eyes on it begin to glow… Then the entire thing glows!

The glowing becomes a shining light, and that shining becomes so bright that nothing can be seen. It is clear things between Kevin and Majora are not over. Will the Masked Monster even stand a chance once the Gibdo of All Gibdos is restored to full strength?

 

Back to the Dark Forces…

Shabonne says, “I’m sure Kevin is just fine doing whatever Gibdos do on their time off.” Tali says, “What matters is what I’m about to do to that tiny little weasel with the Goddess Championship. If The Dark Forces is gonna have all the gold, then I need to squash her like a bug and take that title off of whatever’s left!” Ganon nods and says he likes the initiative. Tali will start on her own Triple Crown as the Dark Forces will make Hyrule Pro-Wrestling their kingdom! The group cheers while raising a toast! And then Harlequin gets Glutko and Lupay to join in on the Macarena, to which Ganon groans and facepalms.

 

And so, the ThunderStruck card is set!

The double ring, double cage will rattle with Blood & Thunder as the HPW World Trios Championships are on the line! The Gerudo Ace looks to settle a grudge with the Hero’s Shadow! And now, the Million Rupee Championship and HPW Goddess Championships will also be on the line! Will the Dark Forces absolutely dominate the Summer? Be ready to endure the heat on Friday, June 20th!

About Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)

WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling) 

THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)

FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)

SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast 

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)

TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends

Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5

Classic POD is WAR


Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!

All Shows On Demand


Powered by RedCircle


Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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