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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (12/15/22)

Arrow Club speaks!

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HPW News 2022

The Arrow Club is going to be real busy for HyruleMania!

With the HPW Death Mountain Championship Ladder Match, Trios Championships AND Termina Championship, Arrow Club has it all! But will they lose it all?

 

Arrow Club is shouting!

Torbevito, Bad Croc Scaly and both Young Ducks, Mack & Rick Quackson, are yelling and calling out their challengers, but at the same time and it’s all rather chaotic. Fin Balure shouts over all of them, “GUYS! GUYS! One at a time!” They all apologize, and the HPW Trios Champions go first. “Our message is rather simple,” Mack says. “We’ve beat you before and we’ll beat you again!” Rick adds, “It doesn’t matter what combination you come at us with, this right here is a winning combination!”

Torbevito takes his turn by saying, “Aveil, you only have this opportunity because of a loophole left open by incompetent contract writers! But I suppose it’s fine. I know what you’re capable of, so no problems them. Ghirahim isn’t a problem, he’s too obsessed with Midna. And Midna won’t be a problem because Ghirahim is too obsessed with her. Odolwa… Well, he may be a problem. But he’ll have to get through the others, leaving me free to break tradition and keep the Death Mountain Championship at HyruleMania.” Fin says, “Torbevito’s on fire! The whole Arrow Club is on fire! And we’re going to burn it all down!

“And that includes you, Ace. A former HPW Trios Champion. A former HPW Triforce Champion. But if I’m doing the math right, both those reigns combined are shorter than my reign as Termina Champion! I’ve had this belt since last HyruleMania, and I’m sure not going to lose it to you this HyruleMania. We’re going to finish this year draped in gold, and make 2023 the Year of the Arrow Club!”

 

GU̵͡͝ĘS҉͢S̶͞ ̸W͜H҉̸́O̶͜

Guess Who, part 3

I spy with my ȩ̡y̸e͟͠ e҉ye͠ eye, someone who must die d͏͡ie d̴́͞-̢́͢di̵͠͠e̢!̴̕͡ ̵̨m̶̢͏u͏s̛͟t̵ d͡i̴e̶̛͜!̛̕!

HyruleProWrestlingFaction FacesofEvilGIF

 

The Gerudo Alliance responds.

Shabonne starts with, “First of, fellas, you keep getting the name wrong! Alliance? Alliance? We’re not some kind of… league of nations or something. We’re a sisterhood! SIS-TER-HOOD! But I suppose names don’t really matter when all these ladies are going to be called champions!” The others all agree there. Aveil tells Torbevito, “You squawk more than the Ducks. I’m not a problem, huh? No, I am the problem in that match. I can wrestle better than you and fly better than you, so I’m going to fly over you and take that belt before you can say ‘Vasaaq oh sav’saaba, vai oh voe.'”

Tali tells the “Lame Ducks” and “That crock of sh*t” that they won’t have “Daddy Fin” to help them since he’ll be too busy with Ganondorf. Buliara says, “As we already said at Fyter Feast, we’re going to live the new dream! Tali as the first to check off Death Mountain and Trios titles. Riju and I as two-time Trios Champions. Your Super Quack Party isn’t going to stop history.” Riju says, “The struggle is real, but the struggle comes to an end on New Year’s Eve. 2023 will be our year! The Year of Dreams Come True!” Together, they all declare, “SA’OTEN!”

 

Ganondorf responds.

“Fin, you chicken of the sea. There won’t be any running from me this time. And I get it. Laugh at me for not holding onto the Triforce Championship for longer than four months. But that’ll be four months more than you’ll ever get with that title. Especially after I humiliate you when I win that Termina Championship and become HPW’s first-ever Triple Crown Winner. I might even change my nickname to The Triple Crown Ace. I like the sound of that already. But the sound I’m going to love most of all is the ring announcer saying, ‘And NEWWW~…! H, P, W, Termina Champioooooon~…! GAAANOOONDOOOOORF!”

 

Odolwa lets his actions speak for him.

The God of Woodfall trains in the swamp, kicking and punching wood, kicking and punching stone, running and pushing through deep, murky water. He whips vines like CrossFit battle ropes, then uses them to drag stones around. And he finishes with a snarling, stomping war dance! The Sword of the Swamp looks sharp as ever, will he cut down the field at HyruleMania?


My Thoughts:

This was a heftier one of these because of the many characters that needed to get their lines in. I feel it’s fitting that Odolwa is not big on talking, and every once in a while, having a strong, silent type works. And don’t worry, Ghirahim and Midna will have their own promos, as part of next week’s hype article.

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 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

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Entertainment

Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (12/18/24)

Majora speaks.

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HPW Skull Kid News

Let’s Go Crazy! Let’s Get Nuts!

HyruleMania 5 approaches, and Kevin Gibdo must defend the Million Rupee Championship against Majora, who has something “special” in mind…

 

The Wrestling Roulette is spinning.

The wheel sits in a dark room, and the moon is visible through a round window. Majora says, “The moon goes through phases. It shows us different faces. The tides ebb and flow, going high and low, and put us through our paces. You think you can keep gambling? You think you can keep winning? You think you can survive as the wheel keeps spinning? Then let it go round ‘n’ round, round after round, and we’ll see who falls to the ground.” The wheel stops spinning, and lands on SPINNER’S CHOICE! Majora then busts through the wheel and gets right in the camera!

“Luck? Chance? Fate? Order? Chaos? W̸͉͚̫͎͎̎͗H̵͈̼̾̈́͋̅̆O̶͕̱͌͐͆̕ ̵̼̪̔̐̿̽C̶̭̫̉͘A̵̦̔̀̊͑͘Ŗ̸̡͓̘̀Ë̶̟͍̞̗́͒̀́͘͜Ş̵͎̩̹̈́͋̚͜?! What matters is victory and defeat! Controlling what you can control! And I swear that no matter what the wheel gives us, I will take that title from you! I use Spinner’s Choice to declare… MOON MADNESS!! Every three minutes, the wheel will spin and CHANGE match! Could you imagine the possibilities?! It makes my head spin!” And then his head spins!! Majora laughs maniacally, then his head stops so that it’s sideways. “There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I’m about to cross that line, care to join me?” Majora has set the terms, will Kevin Gibdo succumb to Moon Madness?


My Thoughts:

Here I go again, trying to be really innovative and over the top. I almost thought adding stipulation on top of stipulation would work, but in many cases, there are match types that contradict each other. A peak behind the curtain of kayfabe here where I could just choose the stipulations that don’t do that, but it might also just be easier from a writing standpoint to just do away with contradictions and redundancies and just have this match constantly make left turns into new territory. Get ready for a wild ride on this one!

About Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)

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CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)

TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends

Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5

Classic POD is WAR


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Entertainment

Hockey Talk- Winter (Classic) Is Coming [121724]

Hockey Talk looks at Alex Ovechkin’s recovery and when he might be back. Plus, the Winter Classic fast approaches. Is Chicago ready?

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Chairshot Radio Large

In this week’s edition of Hockey Talk, the guys discuss Alex Ovechkin’s pending return and whether this might mean the Caps could get better than they have already been. The Winter Classic will be coming to us from Wrigley Feild on New Year’s Eve, with Patrick’s St. Louis Blues tangling with the Chicago Blackhawks. The guys take a look at this game and discuss how things have changed since Wrigley last hosted the Winter Classic in 2009. The NHL will be selecting its Quarter Century teams over the next month or so and the fellas discuss who will be shoo ins and also speculate as to some possible deep cuts for some well-known teams.

Today’s hosts are Dave Ungar (@AttitudeAgg) and Patrick O’Dowd (@WrestlngRealist).

  • Alex Ovechkin creeps closer to returning
  • The 2025 Winter Classis is coming
  • The guys discuss who might make the cut for some Quarter Century Teams

About the Chairshot Radio Network

Created in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts, including POD is WAR, Women’s Wrestling Talk, Chairshot Radio daily editions, The #Miranda Show, Badlands’ Wrestling Mount Rushmores, The Outsider’s Edge, DWI Podcast, Bandwagon Nerds, the Greg DeMarco Show, 3 Man Weave, Five Rounds, Turnbuckle Talk, The Reaction and more! You can find these great shows each week at theChairshot.com and through our distribution partners, including podcasting’s most popular platforms.

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Listen on your favorite platform!

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Listen, like, subscribe, and share!


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About Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)

WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling) 

THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)

FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)

SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast 

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)

TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends

Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5

Classic POD is WAR


Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!

All Shows On Demand


Powered by RedCircle


Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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