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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (12/22/22)

We hear from HPW’s biggest stars!

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HPW News 2022

We hear from the best of the best of the best!

HPW Goddess Champion, Zelda, and her challenger, Veran, as well as HPW Triforce Champion, Kage, and his challenger, Igos du Ikana, are all preparing for massive match-ups, but take time to tell us how they feel.

 

But first… Ghirahim…

“Torbevito, please shut up. You don’t know what you’re talking about. Odolwa, please take a shower. Your stench can be smelled through the screen. Aveil, you shut up, you don’t know what you’re talking about. And Midna. Silly, foolish, stupid Midna. You may be all tall and slender and lovely on the outside, but you’re still nothing more than a tiny, bratty little gremlin on the inside. And NONE of you are going to stop me from climbing back up to where I belong! And then, HPW will once again be… exquisite!

 

G͢͝͡UE̡͘͠S͢҉̨Ş͢ ҉̸W҉͏H͟҉O̵͏͏

Guess Who, part 4

I’m I̴̕’͢͝m̀̀͞ ̵̧I̵̶̛’̵̨̢m͏ simply f͟a-͘͟͢f́a̧͠-f̸̛-famished. Perhaps j-̧͢j͟͝-j͏́͟úšt just one more.

HyruleProWrestlingFaction FacesofEvilGIF

 

Midna responds.

And she does so via a livestream on her Twinge TV channel! “Hey, guys~! I’m so happy to be streaming again! And this is great timing, because this is my first-ever HPW reaction stream! Where to start?” After reacting to highlights from Fyter Fest, Midna moves onto promos. “Wow, Odolwa’s got a great workout routine. I mean, I’m not going to do that stuff. Hitting rocks would be murder on my knuckles, and that water does not look sanitary. Maybe I can get the same results if I run around in a pool…”

“These Arrow Club guys, like… Balure with that Big Fin Energy. And Torbevito really needs to think before he speaks. He’s getting really cocky for a guy who is only known because of his dad, and needed help winning the Death Mountain title in the first place. As for Aveil, I respect her. She’s gaming the system, and she could even beat the system. If not for me, of course.” Midna giggles, but then that just leaves the Living Blade. “I don’t get it. I just don’t. Does Ghirahim like losing to me? That’s… really weird.

“Though, I’m not really one to talk. Full disclosure, I started to like being impish me. I was tiny and adorable and everybody loved me! But now I’m tall and slender and everybody loves me. And I bet they’ll love me even more when I’m Death Mountain Champion! Because EVERYONE loves Midna!” The chat moves at hyper-speed in agreement, but will the Twilight Princess become champion once again?

 

Veran is in her trophy room.

She has quite a few medals and trophies for amateur wrestling and a few other sports, but the centerpiece on her mantle is her copy of the Termina Championship Wrestling Women’s Championship. She admires it as it shines in the light, and even sees herself in the reflection of the glass case. “My greatest triumph. But that was practically a lifetime ago. Sometimes, even I doubt if I can keep up with the new generation. But I’m not going to just roll over and accept being second best. Zelda and I are one and one. If I can do it once, I can do it again.”

 

Zelda looks at the calendar.

“I can’t believe it’s been a whole year already. Actually, I can’t believe it’s been two whole years. I won this back at HyruleMania 1. Midna and I had a great match, and I really hope she gets that Death Mountain Championship. Every opponent I’ve faced since has earned my respect. Well… Actually, yeah, even Hilda. Veran and I have had two great matches, we’ve gone one and one, and something about the tiebreaker happening at HyruleMania 3 is storybook worthy. I don’t pretend to be perfect, but I’m not going to make any mistakes here. I’m going to get that two-year mark and establish that I can stand on my own two feet against the best of the best of the best.”

 

Igos du Ikana speaks.

Well, he’s somewhere on screen, but it’s so dark. Candles are lit spontaneously and the Ruler of Ruin is seen sitting upon a throne of jade, lapis and gold. “Fire. Fire is strong, and can be destructive. But you see, fire can be extinguished.” With that, the candles go out and the darkness returns. “But cold… Cold is different. Cold is persistent. Cold is unending. Cold can only be held off… By fire.” The candles light up again. “Will your fire stave off the cold that’s creeping in around you? Or will you be extinguished? Show me, O Hero’s Shadow, how brightly you can burn.”

 

Kage is at the HPW Training Center.

The HPW Triforce Champion is being checked by the trainer. They unwrap the rib tape and the bruising is gone. Kage is given a 100% clean bill of health! “Igos du Ikana. You know nothing of the darkness in my heart. You know nothing of the fire in my soul. But you will know what it’s like… to fall to ruin.” Kage thanks the trainer then exits the medical area. But will he leave the Celebration of Greatness still THE champion of Hyrule?


My Thoughts:

While working on these hype articles, I wondered if I even need the “Dawn of the X Day” articles to lead right up to HyruleMania on New Year’s Eve. At the same time, I’m definitely going to do those, I’ve still got some ideas for those that I’d love to write out.

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Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)

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Entertainment

Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (12/18/24)

Majora speaks.

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HPW Skull Kid News

Let’s Go Crazy! Let’s Get Nuts!

HyruleMania 5 approaches, and Kevin Gibdo must defend the Million Rupee Championship against Majora, who has something “special” in mind…

 

The Wrestling Roulette is spinning.

The wheel sits in a dark room, and the moon is visible through a round window. Majora says, “The moon goes through phases. It shows us different faces. The tides ebb and flow, going high and low, and put us through our paces. You think you can keep gambling? You think you can keep winning? You think you can survive as the wheel keeps spinning? Then let it go round ‘n’ round, round after round, and we’ll see who falls to the ground.” The wheel stops spinning, and lands on SPINNER’S CHOICE! Majora then busts through the wheel and gets right in the camera!

“Luck? Chance? Fate? Order? Chaos? W̸͉͚̫͎͎̎͗H̵͈̼̾̈́͋̅̆O̶͕̱͌͐͆̕ ̵̼̪̔̐̿̽C̶̭̫̉͘A̵̦̔̀̊͑͘Ŗ̸̡͓̘̀Ë̶̟͍̞̗́͒̀́͘͜Ş̵͎̩̹̈́͋̚͜?! What matters is victory and defeat! Controlling what you can control! And I swear that no matter what the wheel gives us, I will take that title from you! I use Spinner’s Choice to declare… MOON MADNESS!! Every three minutes, the wheel will spin and CHANGE match! Could you imagine the possibilities?! It makes my head spin!” And then his head spins!! Majora laughs maniacally, then his head stops so that it’s sideways. “There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I’m about to cross that line, care to join me?” Majora has set the terms, will Kevin Gibdo succumb to Moon Madness?


My Thoughts:

Here I go again, trying to be really innovative and over the top. I almost thought adding stipulation on top of stipulation would work, but in many cases, there are match types that contradict each other. A peak behind the curtain of kayfabe here where I could just choose the stipulations that don’t do that, but it might also just be easier from a writing standpoint to just do away with contradictions and redundancies and just have this match constantly make left turns into new territory. Get ready for a wild ride on this one!

About Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)

WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling) 

THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)

FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)

SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast 

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)

TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends

Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5

Classic POD is WAR


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Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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Entertainment

Hockey Talk- Winter (Classic) Is Coming [121724]

Hockey Talk looks at Alex Ovechkin’s recovery and when he might be back. Plus, the Winter Classic fast approaches. Is Chicago ready?

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Chairshot Radio Large

In this week’s edition of Hockey Talk, the guys discuss Alex Ovechkin’s pending return and whether this might mean the Caps could get better than they have already been. The Winter Classic will be coming to us from Wrigley Feild on New Year’s Eve, with Patrick’s St. Louis Blues tangling with the Chicago Blackhawks. The guys take a look at this game and discuss how things have changed since Wrigley last hosted the Winter Classic in 2009. The NHL will be selecting its Quarter Century teams over the next month or so and the fellas discuss who will be shoo ins and also speculate as to some possible deep cuts for some well-known teams.

Today’s hosts are Dave Ungar (@AttitudeAgg) and Patrick O’Dowd (@WrestlngRealist).

  • Alex Ovechkin creeps closer to returning
  • The 2025 Winter Classis is coming
  • The guys discuss who might make the cut for some Quarter Century Teams

About the Chairshot Radio Network

Created in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts, including POD is WAR, Women’s Wrestling Talk, Chairshot Radio daily editions, The #Miranda Show, Badlands’ Wrestling Mount Rushmores, The Outsider’s Edge, DWI Podcast, Bandwagon Nerds, the Greg DeMarco Show, 3 Man Weave, Five Rounds, Turnbuckle Talk, The Reaction and more! You can find these great shows each week at theChairshot.com and through our distribution partners, including podcasting’s most popular platforms.

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Listen on your favorite platform!

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Listen, like, subscribe, and share!


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About Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)

WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling) 

THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)

FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)

SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast 

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)

TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends

Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5

Classic POD is WAR


Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!

All Shows On Demand


Powered by RedCircle


Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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