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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (12/5/22)

Who will be The Ones?

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WWE Raw 2022

There’s a lot on the line for The Bloodline!

United though they may be, The Bloodline still needs to be on guard! Jimmy & Jey Uso return to Raw to defend their Undisputed Tag Team Championships against Matt Riddle & Elias!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championships: The Usos VS Matt Riddle & Elias; The Usos win and retain the titles.
  • Triple Threat: Bayley VS Rhea Ripley VS Asuka; Bayley wins and advances to next week’s Raw Women’s Championship #1 contenders match.
  • WWE United States Championship: Austin Theory VS Mustafa Ali; Theory wins by disqualification and retains the title.
  • JBL’s High Stakes Poker Invitational: Lumis wins.
  • Six Man Tag: The OC VS Baron Corbin & The Alpha Academy; The OC wins.
  • Dominik Mysterio VS Akira Tozawa; Dominik wins.
  • Triple Threat: Becky Lynch VS Alexa Bliss VS Nikki Cross; Alexa wins and advances to next week’s Raw Women’s Championship #1 contenders match.

PLAY PY PLAY

Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championships: The Usos VS Matt Riddle & Elias!

The Bloodline is here as Sami Zayn and Solo Sikoa accompany Jimmy & Jey to the ring. The reign is over 500 days and counting, but could that time be up here in Washington, DC? Or will

As footage shows, it was earlier tonight when the Bloodline arrived. They were fired up, but Byron Saxton walked over to interview them. But then The Bro scooters in super fast! The Bloodline gets clear, and they’re upset. Jey says it doesn’t matter, they gonna get Riddle AND Elias tonight like they have every other team! If Riddle and Elias want at the titles, just look who showed up tonight? But then Elias comes out of his tour bus to ask what all the commotion’s about. Solo CLOBBERS Elias from behind! The Bloodline mugs The Drifter, and Solo whips Elias into spare railing! Sami says that’s what they get! Then he realizes Elias might be hurt.

In the present, Jey gets a mic to say, “The Bloodline is now in your city!” But Jimmy says there’s some bad news. The championship match that was supposed to go down is officially canceled! Cuz the Enforcer, Solo Sikoa, done bodied Elias in the parking lot. Now, everyone surely came here to see them compete, but here’s the bright side: Riddle won’t be humiliated, and Elias can go home to work on any song he wants to. Sami adds, “Bet! Sorry, it just felt like a good time for a ‘bet.'” Jimmy understands. But what you can look forward to now is the Usos focusing on being the best tag team ever!

The Usos will defend against any team that wants to run up, but those that run up will get done up! Because everyone else is the twos, and #WeTheOnes! But “Bro…” Riddle comes out to say, “First of all, it wasn’t so cool of you guys to take out my partner Elias tonight, dude. Like tonight was his first night to finally get WWE gold. And honestly, if I’m being real, it’s not really like The Bloodline to run from a fight. I would say it’s not very… How you say? Ucey?” Sami tells Riddle, “Yo yo yo yo yo yo! Hold up, my dawg.” Sami wants to explain something to Riddle. Riddle is not the one who decides what is or isn’t Ucey. Sami’s a bit of an expert in this field.

In fact, Sami is a certified Uceologist. What? Sami is the one to say what is and isn’t Ucey. For example, Solo Sikoa showing once again why he IS the Enforcer by destroying Elias, that is UCEY! The Usos continuing to be the longest reigning tag team champions in history, that is UCEY! Riddle coming out here, running his mouth, thinking he ever had a chance at beating them is NOT Ucey. So unless Riddle wants to suffer the same fate as Elias, just go home. Riddle says he did find someone else. And there WILL be a tag title match tonight! Now, Riddle and this guy aren’t really bros, but they both hate the Bloodline. It’s KEVIN OWENS!!

The Prizefighter and the Bro go to the ring but the Usos say that’s fine. Will the #KOBros be the ones to dethrone Jimmy & Jey?

The teams sort out, Kevin and Jey start and the bell rings. Kevin blocks Jey’s superkick and fires off haymakers! Kevin has Jey in a corner, the ref counts and Kevin lets off at 4. Kevin drags Jey up to whip to ropes and he CLOBBERS Jey with an elbow, to then SENTON! Cover, TWO! Sami coaches Jey but Kevin drags Jey up. Kevin bumps Jey off buckles, JABS, then backs up to run corner to corner! CANNO- NO, Jimmy gets Jey out of the way. Fans boo but Kevin goes out after them all to CLOBBER Jimmy! Kevin whips Jey into barriers! Fans fire up with Kevin, Kevin asks Solo what he’s staring at, and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns as Kevin covers, TWO! Jimmy survives the cannonball but Kevin knocks him back down. Kevin goes up and up and MOONSUALTS! Cover, ONE!! Jimmy scrambles to ropes, Sami is upset about things, but Riddle tags in. Riddle stands Jimmy up to ROCK him with haymakers. Riddle whips, Jimmy reverses but Riddle holds ropes to BOOT Jimmy. But Jimmy distracts the ref and Jey ENZIGURIS Riddle down! Sami is fired up but fans boo the cheap shot. Jimmy tags Jey, the Usos split the wishbone. Jey looms over Riddle, he drags Riddle around then stomps him down. Jey throws his shirt at Kevin but Kevin just throws it on the floor.

Jey CHOKES Riddle on the ropes, he lets off at 4, and Jimmy BOOTS Riddle down! The cheap shots continue and fans boo again. Jey drags Riddle up, scoops him and tags Jimmy. Jimmy climbs up, BACKBREAKER AX HANDLE COMBO! Cover, TWO! Riddle hangs tough and the Usos are annoyed. Fans rally but Jimmy drags Riddle up to ROCK him! Riddle ROCKS Jimmy back, fires off more shots, then he BLASTS Jey! Jimmy UPPERCUTS Riddle down! Jimmy BLASTS Kevin for good measure! But Riddle fires off forearms on Jimmy! Jey tags in as Riddle whips, and Jimmy reverses, the Usos DOUBLE SPINEBUSTER! Jey covers, TWO!

Sami is anxious and even Solo shows a bit of stress as Riddle is still in this. But Sami says Jey has Riddle where they want him. Jey stands Riddle up but Riddle CHOPS and CHOPS and fires off fast hands! Jey ducks the roundhouse, to POP-UP NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO!! Riddle survives but still in a bad way as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Riddle wipes out both Usos! Riddle BROTONS Jimmy then tags in Kevin! Kevin goes up top fast, to SWANTON BOMB! Cover, TWO!! Sami is stressing out as Kevin keeps focus on Jimmy. Jimmy rises slowly and Sami tries to warn him, but Jimmy turns around into a kick! But Jimmy stops the Stunner! Kevin stops the superkick, to SUPERKICK back! Kevin whips, but Jimmy slips off the pop-up to SUPERKICK! Both men are down and fans fire up! Both men crawl, hot tags to Jey and Riddle! Riddle spins Jey around to PELE! Then Riddle kips up, but Jey mule kicks and UPPERCUTS!

Riddle goes to ropes, Jey run sin but Riddle headscissors him out of the ring! Riddle hurries back in, Sami helps Jey stand up. Kevin storms over but Solo stands in the way! The ref warns Solo, but then Riddle PLANCHAS to take Solo out! Jey SUPERKICKS Kevin! Riddle FLASH KNEES Jey! Riddle puts Jey in, tells Sami to back off, but Jimmy tags in! Riddle rushes Jey but Jimmy storms in. Riddle ROCKS Jimmy, Jey USPERKICKS Riddle! ONE D on the rebound!! Cover, USOS WIN!

Winners: The Usos, by pinfall (still Undisputed WWE Tag Team Champions)

The Bloodline’s numbers game is the real unstoppable force in the WWE! And now Sami and the Usos mug Riddle! But Kevin has a chair! He SMACKS Jimmy, and he SMACKS Jey! Sami gets away but Kevin chases him to the back! Solo gets in the ring to SUPERKICK Riddle! Solo fires off on Riddle with heavy fists! Fans boo but the Enforcer isn’t done with Riddle yet. Solo has a taped up thumb, shoutout to Umaga with the SAMOAN SPIKE!! Riddle sputters and crawls to a corner, Solo runs in to HIP ATTACK!! Solo’s rage is unleashed as he gets a chair for himself.

Solo puts the chair around Riddle’s head, punches Riddle down, then goes to the far corner. Fans boo as hard as they can but Solo roars and runs in, FULL METAL HIP ATTACK!!! Riddle writhes and clutches his neck! Medics rush out and put Riddle in a neck brace and onto a backboard. Did Solo just sideline The Bro all on his own?

 

BREAKING NEWS for SmackDown!

Sheamus and Drew McIntyre wanted to challenge the winners to an Undisputed Tag Team Championship match this Friday, but the Scottish Warrior is unfortunately not cleared medically. That means the Celtic Warrior will have “Butch” as his new tag partner! Will Pete Dunne be able to help Sheamus against the Usos? Or will it be more of the same from The Bloodline?

 

The Judgment Day speaks.

Rhea says, “Bayley and Asuka, they’re both credible. They’ve both been Women’s Champion, they’ve both been Women’s Tag Team Champion. They’re both very, very good at what they do. But you know what they’re not? They’re not Rhea bloody Ripley! So when I’m done with them tonight and they’re laying in that ring crying their eyes out and I move on to Bianca Belair for the Raw Women’s Championship, and when I’m done with Bianca, the whole Raw Women’s locker room will be calling me Mami.” The Judgment Day like that, and then Rhea high-fives as she heads out. Will the Eradicator eliminate everyone in her path to the title?

 

JBL’s Poker Invitational begins!

Tamina, Dana Brooke, Shelton Benjamin, Dominik Mysterio and Akira Tozawa are one table, while Chad Gable, Luke Gallows and Baron Corbin are another. Otis has a huge plate of sausage but he isn’t sharing. JBL walks over to say, “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the JBL Poker Invitational, an event that’ll become as big a tradition as The Masters, the Olympics, and as grand a spectacle as WrestleMania. Now, I know a lot of you don’t see eye to eye, and Tozawa… Nobody likes you. But poker is a gentlemen’s, and gentlewoman’s, sport. Especially in the high stakes room. The rules are simple: It is a dime ante. 10, 20K-”

BOOM! Dexter Lumis enters with Johnny Gargano, and he drops the Louis Vuitton bag full of cash he won from The Miz! JBL assumes Crystal Lake doesn’t get mail, but Jason Vorhees here needs an invitation. And JBL is pretty sure he didn’t invite the… one-and-a-half of them. Besides, Lumis can’t possibly have the 50K buy-in. So go stare at someone else. Gargano says “Show ’em.” And Lumis dumps the money out! Well okay! Welcome to the tournament! Lumis has a seat at the table, will anyone be able to crack that poker face?

 

Triple Threat: Bayley VS Rhea Ripley VS Asuka!

A Role Model, an Eradicator and an Empress walk into the ring, but this ain’t no joke! Only one can move on to the next round, who will be one step closer to facing The RawEST Women’s Champion?

But then surprisingly, Becky Lynch calls to Bayley from up in the bleachers! “Hey, ol’ pal! Well, I dunno if I can call ya pal anymore, seeing as how you and your cronies keep trying to jump me.” Fans cheer Becky on and she says, “I was just up at the merch stand, reminiscing about how fun it was last week, me beating up Bayley and her two cronies at one time. That was awesome.” Bayley says it’d be more awesome if Becky could hurry this up. Bayley has stuff to do. Well Becky wants Bayley to know that first, this is a great fan sign, #BigTimeBecky. But did Bayley also know that it’s been over three years since they faced each other 1v1?

Becky says they didn’t even scratch the surface back then. She was gone, Bayley showed up, but kudos to Bayley for carrying the WWE during the ThunderDome era! She really did! She was champion, Double Champion, sometimes doing double and triple duty. Bayley says the fans can cheer for that. The fans do cheer! Becky says Bayley was awesome, but then Becky came back right as Bayley was gone. And then Bayley came back right as Becky was gone. Bayley says she’s kinda repeating herself, and we all know the history. But Becky has a match so she should go, and also Bayley has a match right now that she’s about to win.

So the point is, Becky doesn’t need to tell Bayley’s history. That doesn’t matter now. Stop living in the past! Becky came down the stairs, she’s interrupting matches and Bayley’s “Magic!” Becky thinks she can just do whatever she wants, huh? Yeah, actually, she does. Becky was just trying to catch up. But Bayley says the difference between them, now more than ever, when Becky is here, it’s all about her, isn’t it? Fans cheer Becky because they definitely like her. Bayley says the fans just make it worse. Becky doesn’t care about the fans or anyone else! BAYLEY cares about the fans and the wrestlers!

And that’s what Bayley has been doing while Becky’s been gone. That’s why Bayley has Dakota Kai & Iyo Sky. She looks out of the future for the idiot fans! And the locker room! Bayley sees the bigger picture, but Becky just looks in the mirror! No one cheers, huh? That’s because no one has respect for what Bayley’s doing! Fans still cheer Becky. Becky says Bayley is looking out for people, and DMG CTRL has been successful. Well, two thirds have been, because there’s two champs and one loser. But hey, good luck tonight. Maybe they can finally go 1v1 again and make some history. If Bayley’s woman enough to face The Man, that is.

Becky leaves just as Rhea makes her entrance. Will Big Time Becks have to change her plans on who she’s facing next round?

Raw returns and Asuka makes her entrance. The bell rings and Asuka DROPKICKS Bayley! But Rhea rolls Asuka, ONE!! Asuka dodges Rhea’s haymaker but Bayley ROCKS her! Bayley grab at Asuka but Rhea rolls Bayley up, ONE!! Rhea kicks and stomps and KNEE SMASHES Bayley to then throw her out. Asuka runs in but Rhea catches her hip attack! Rhea CLUBS Asuka, suplexes high and hard, then covers, TWO! Rhea CLUBS Asuka, CLUBS her more, then bumps her off buckles. Fans rally for Asuka but Rhea RAMS into her again and again. Bayley runs up, but Rhea blocks the roll-up! Bayley avoids the stomp, and the two stare down.

Bayley taunts “Mami,” then dodges her haymaker to waistlock. Rhea pries the hold, bucks Bayley at the ropes, then runs in again to scoop. Bayley slips off, but Rhea blocks the punch! Rhea throws body shots, RAMS Bayley into the corner and RAMS into her more! Rhea then brings Bayley out to snap suplex! Rhea looms over Bayley, goes back to Asuka, and whips her corner to corner hard! Rhea then goes to Bayley to CLUB her down. Rhea grins as she whips corner to corner and Bayley hits buckles hard! Rhea grins more as she storms over to Asuka. Rhea stands Asuka up but Asuka throws body shots!

Rhea kicks low, TOSSES Asuka aside, then TOSSES Bayley around! Fans rally as Rhea soaks up the heat. Rhea storms over to Asuka and drags her up. Asuka throws more body shots, then kicks and a SOBAT! Bayley runs in to BLINDSIDE LARIAT Rhea, Asuka SLIDING KICKS! Asuka and Bayley come to an understanding to mug Rhea, and  they POST her! Then Bayley kicks Asuka and headlocks. Asuka fires body shots, powers out and runs Bayley over! Bayley goes to the apron, she avoids the hip attack and she drags Asuka out to throw her into barriers! Bayley CLUBS Asuka, but Rhea CANNONBALLS them both! Fans fire up as Rhea laughs, and Raw goes to break!

Raw returns again and Bayley paces around as Rhea smothers Asuka into the mat with a forearm. Seems Bayley and Rhea now have that understanding, and Rhea sits Asuka up for Bayley to stomp down. Bayley talks trash, Rhea slaps Asuka around, and they drag Asuka up. Rhea bumps Asuka off buckles, then Rhea whips Bayley in, but Asuka puts her on the apron! Asuka dodges Rhea, URAKEN, URAKEN, SOBAT, KICK and URAKEN to an AX HANDLE! But Rhea blocks the whip! Rhea whips Asuka to a corner, but Asuka dodges! ROUNDHOUSE! Bayley runs in but is sent into Bayley! Rhea SLAMS Bayley, but Asuka uses Bayley as a step to BOOT Rhea!

Fans fire up as Asuka SOBATS Rhea again. Asuka headlocks Rhea, runs at Bayley, but only the LRIAT Hits as Rhea fights the bulldog. Rhea runs in, Asuka dodges, CODE BREAKER! Cover, TWO! Asuka fires up and fans are with her as she watches Rhea and Bayley sit up. Asuka KICKS Rhea, she KICKS Bayley, then back to Rhea! Another for Bayley! Rhea! Bayley, but she ducks! Roll-up, TWO! Bayley kicks but into an ANKLE LOCK! Bayley flails, reaches out, pulls at Asuka’s hair but that won’t stop this. Rhea gets up and storms over, but Bayley grabs Rhea’s hair! Rhea HEADBUTTS Bayley, and Asuka GERMAN SUPLEXES her!

Asuka avoids a kick from Rhea to ROUNDHOUSE Rhea down! Fans fire up but Bayley drags Asuka out! Bayley hurries back in, she calls to Rhea, and Rhea shakes out the cobwebs. Rhea stands up and Bayley still wants to work together. Rhea says she won’t let Bayley boss her around. Bayley says okay, and then she lunges! Into a choke grip! Rhea know that was coming, but Bayley ROCKS her with a forearm! Rhea ROCKS Bayley, Bayley ROCKS Rhea, repeat! Bayley pulls hair but Rhea throws body shots! Bayley hits back, Rhea throws more! Asuka leaps for a DOUBLE CODE BREAKER!! Cover on Rhea, TWO!! Cover on Bayley, TWO!!

Fans fire up and Asuka hurries to a corner. Asuka climbs but Bayley is after her! They brawl, Asuka sends Bayley down then leaps, MISSILE DROPKICK! Cover, TWO! ASUKA LOCK!!! Bayley flails, reaches out, crawls around with her one free arm, but Rhea returns! Rhea basement dropkicks them both! Cover on Asuka, TWO! Rhea is frustrated but fans rally up. Rhea drags Asuka up to short arm LARIAT! Rhea drags Asuka up again, for another short arm LARIAT! Fans fire up, Rhea drags Asuka up again, but Asuka turns lariat to ARMBAR TAKEDOWN!! Rhea flails, kicks, but Bayley MACHO ELBOWS Asuka! Cover on Asuka, TWO!!

Bayley frowns as she drags herself back up. Bayley runs to CLOBBER Asuka, then she rains down fists! Bayley drags Asuka back up, BAYLEY2BELLY! Cover, Rhea breaks it!! Rhea reels Bayley in for a HEADBUTT! And another! And another! And then a NORTHERN LIGHTS! Bridging cover, TWO! Rhea grows frustrated but she turns her attention to Asuka. Asuka kicks, but into an Electric Chair Lift! And SLAM!! Cover, TWO!!! Asuka survives and Rhea cannot believe it! Fans fire up, Rhea hurries to DROPKICK Bayley out of the ring! Rhea hurries outside, runs in around the way, but Bayley KICKS her legs out! Bayley hurries in, ducks a kick and clinches! BAYLEY2- ROLL UP! TWO!!!

Asuka URAKENS! URKAENS! SOBATS! Bayley ducks the next hand, RAMS Asuka to a corner, then runs in, into  a ROUNDHOUSE!! Asuka goes up, MISSILE- NO, Bayley deflects it! ROSE PLANT!!! Cover, BAYLEY WINS!

Winner: Bayley, by pinfall (advances to next week)

Rhea is furious, but she takes it out on Asuka! Rhea kicks Asuka around, then pump handles for the RIPTIDE!! Bayley grins as she moves on, but who will she meet in the #1 contender’s match?

 

Seth Rollins is here!

DC sings for The Visionary as he swaggers his way to the ring. Rollins is here in DC to welcome them to Monday Night Rollins! “you know me, you love me. I am the Visionary, I am the revolutionary, I am Seth… “FREAKIN’ ROLLINS!” And Rollins has big news for DC! “One week from tonight, yours truly is going to go one-on-one with The All Mighty Bobby Lashley! And the winner of that there little match will be your new #1 contender to the United States Championship.” And he’d love to say a lot of things to ol’ “Bob,” but it’s not fun if he’s not out here. And DC wants to have fun, right? The fans cheer and Rollins says they had fun singing his song.

Fans sing again, “OH~ OHH~ OHHH~!” But then here comes Lashley! Fans cheer as he walks out on stage in a crimson and black suit to counter Rollins’ sky blue and white one. Lashley goes to the ring with a mic of his own to say, “So, Seth, I’m here. So what would you like to tell me. Now be careful with that.” Rollins wants Lashley to hold on. Lashley just hasn’t been the same since Crown Jewel and that loss to Brock Lesnar. And there’s no shame in losing to Lesnar! Been there, done that. But what is with Lashley’s Lesnar obsession? Is Lashley… scared of Lesnar? Rollins knows Lesnar is bigger and stronger-

Lashley stops Rollins there because he knows Rollins is just trying to get under his skin and rattle his cage. No, no, no! Rollins accepts Lashley isn’t afraid. So then… He must be jealous of Lesnar. That’s it! Because Lesnar’s a bigger star, won more championships. That’s gotta be it. Lesnar had the career Lashley wishes he had. Lashley grabs Rollins by his hair to tell him this is NOT about Lesnar! This is about Rollins, Lashley, and the US Championship that should be around Lashley’s waist. Rollins says okay, but just relax. Bob knows as well as Rollins does that the US title won’t fill the void in Lashley’s heart left by the fact that he can’t beat Lesnar.

If Lashley doesn’t get his head right, he can’t get his temper right, and beating him will be a lot easier for Rollins than the first. time. Lashley DECKS Rollins for that! Rollins gets up and they brawls! Fans fire up as Lashley has the edge on Rollins! Lashley throws knees, then he throws Rollins out! Lashley goes out but Rollins jumps on him! Lashley RAMS Rollins into barriers, whips him into more barriers, and DC fires up as Rollins comes back for more! They go around, brawling right on the barriers! Referees and security rush out to stop this! Rollins claws Lashley’s face! The fans want to “Let Them Fight!” and Rollins gets free to CLOBBER Lashley!

The brawling keeps going, Adam Pearce tries to stop this, and Lashley stands down while Rollins slides into the ring. Fans sing “OH~ OHH~ OHHH~” and Lashley storms back in! They brawl in the ring again! Lashley RAMS Rollins into a corner! The hands keep flying but management and referees separate them again. Lashley gets loose, Rollins moves, the SPEAR hits one of the producers! Pearce shouts at Lashley and Rollins says Lashley has done it now! Producer Pete Williams is hurting, will Lashley have to face the consequences?

 

Backstage interview with Austin Theory.

Byron Saxton asks the WWE United States Champion what we just saw in the “absolute chaos” between Rollins and Lashley. Theory says he saw the past. Two former champs are fighting over scraps, oblivious to the fact that the business has evolved and forgotten about both of them. This business lives in the now, where it’s Theory’s time, and he has all the cards! And let’s face it, what’s a couple of challenges to Theory’s reign when the forever is just beginning? But then he turns around into Mustafa Ali! “Forever, huh? Theory, you just love writing checks that you know you can’t cash in. Oh, ‘cash-in,’ you probably don’t like hearing those words.”

Theory says Ali is annoying! He constantly whines and complains about opportunities, then gets beat down. Why doesn’t Ali just quit? Because Ali isn’t like Theory. Ali has to fight for what he has. He has to fight for opportunities! So know this: Theory can put Ali down but he’ll get back up, back in Theory’s face, and become US Champion. Fine! If Ali wants his shot, and his chance to shock the world, then they’ll do this tonight. But after Theory finishes with Ali, Theory never EVER wants to hear the word “opportunity” comes out of Ali’s sorry mouth again. Theory storms off, but will The Beacon bring the end to “The Now” that is Theory’s reign?

 

Raw checks back in with the JBL Poker Invitational.

Lumis still has fat stacks while the others mull over their hands. JBL has his Ugandan whiskey brought in by the waiter, and gives him a great tip. JBL watches as Corbin’s table moves along. Gable folds, a thank yew. But gentlemen, ladies, the game of poker is about intelligence. The intelligence to know when to push forward, and when to walk away. Gallows says, “NERD!” Gable shouts, “SHOOSH!” “NERD!” “SHOOSH!” This goes back and forth and Corbin has them stop. Take some chill pills. Corbin can’t get a ready on the freak show over here with those two shouting nonsense.

Corbin says Lumis has to be bluffing. He sees through those eyes. Lumis has nothing in his hand, or his head, and Corbin will take all his money and send him back to the loony bin where he belongs. Corbin calls! Corbin has a Straight, 5 through 9! Lumis has… a FULL HOUSE! Three Aces, two Jacks! JBL can’t believe it, either! Corbin says it’s been this way all night! Lumis is some kind of savant. Otis likes croissants. No, savants. Well, those are good, too. Lumis has to be a cheater! No way could he beat Corbin! There have to be cards up his sleeves, in those gloves. Gargano, don’t defend him! Corbin is gonna hand Lumis a-

Lumis has an AX! Whoa, okay, easy now. Corbin and JBL accept Lumis is just that good. Meanwhile, Tozawa is cleaning up on his table! But then Tozawa catches Dom trying to palm a few chips! THIEF!! Thief? This is DOM’S show! Whatever he wants, he gets. And if Tozawa has as problem with that, then the Judgment Day has a problem with Tozawa! Oh, yeah? Well, Tozawa doesn’t care! Dom is the problem. The two stand up, and Dom says Tozawa’s almost as short as his deadbeat dad. JBL has these two settle down. No fighting in the poker room. Go outside if you wanna fight. Tozawa will see Dom in the ring! Yeah he will!

Dom and Tozawa back out of the game for now, but who will be the big winner in the ring?

 

WWE United States Championship: Austin Theory VS Mustafa Ali!

The self-proclaimed Now of WWE has always had a big ego, and many times that ego has cost him. Will it cost him everything he’s worked for here tonight? Or will Theory leave The Beacon in the dark after this high stakes showdown?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see who truly represents the future of the WWE!

Fans boo Theory as he and Ali tie up. Theory shoves Ali down and tells him Ali’s wasting his time. Ali comes back to headlock, but Theory powers up. Ali thrashes, Theory powers out and runs Ali over. “What’d I say? You’re wasting your time! You’re in the now.” Theory stands Ali up but Ali puts him in the corner. Ali CHOPS, but Theory just scowls through it. Theory CLOBBERS Ali, brushes himself off, and storms after Ali again. Theory digs his knee into Ali, dares him to do something, but lets off as the ref counts. Theory storms around, whips Ali corner to corner, then he runs in. Ali goes up and over, keeps moving, ducks ‘n’ dodges and tilt-o-whirl RANAS!

Theory bails out but Ali dropkicks him off the apron! Ali builds speed, and he DIVES! Direct hit at the ramp and fans fire up! Ali stalks Theory, brings him up, but Theory breaks free. Theory baits Ali and Ali runs in, Theory POSTS him with an alley-oop! “You’re in the now! You hear me? You’re in the NOW!” Theory RAMS Ali into barriers! Theory asks Ali how that feels while Raw goes to break.

Raw returns and Ali throws haymakers on Theory! Ali backs Theory down to a corner but Theory turns it around. Theory swings but Ali dodges to CHOP! And CHOP! And CHOP! Ali whips corner to corner, Theory reverses but Ali slips out and ROUNDHOUSES Theory away! Ali slingshots, somersaults, and NECKBREAKERS! Fans fire up but Theory fireman’s carries! Ali slips off to BACKSTABBER! Cover, TWO! Fans rally as Theory crawls to a corner and Ali stands up. Ali storms over, but into an elbow! Theory goes up but Ali ROCKS him first! Ali climbs up after Theory, to SUPER- NO, Theory blocks! Wait, they tip over and Theory still hits the mat!

Theory flounders up, Ali runs in, tilt-o-whirl DDT! Cover, TWO!! Theory survives the rough landing then the rougher impact, but Ali is not losing focus yet. Ali hurries to a corner but Theory anchors a foot. Ali stomps him down then climbs back up. Fans rally but Theory trips Ali up! Theory throws haymakers, puts Ali in a Tree of Woe to the outside, and then Theory stomps away on the apron! The ref counts, Theory backs off, only to go back in for more! The ref counts as Theory stomps away. Theory finally gets in the ring, then he drags Ali up to rain down fists! Fans boo, the ref has Theory back off.

Theory snarls but then DOLPH ZIGGLER SUPERKICKS him!!!

Winner: Austin Theory, by disqualification (still WWE United States Champion)

Ali can’t believe it! Theory wins and it isn’t even because of him! Ali gets mad at Ziggler but Ziggler says his beef is with Theory. Ali and Ziggler argue now, but then Theory CLOBBERS them both! Theory rains down fists on Ziggler, then he drags Ali up to POST him! Fans chant “YOU STILL SUCK!” as Theory drags Ziggler up for A-TOWN DOWN! The Show Off cost Ali and didn’t even get the better of Theory. Will Theory stay the now and become the forever of the WWE?

 

JBL is on the phone with someone.

He’s loving this! No one could’ve put on a better poker tournament. The money is everywhere! The Miz then walks in and JBL hangs up. JBL is happy to see Miz, and Miz says there was probably a slight oversight not inviting Miz. Oh, sorry, he didn’t know Miz played cards. Miz can jump in, if he has the 50K. Right… About that… After Miz’s “financial improprieties,” he isn’t very liquid. JBL knows how crypto can be, right? But c’mon, JBL knows Miz is good for it! JBL says he’d love to, but Miz hasn’t been good at paying off debts. Everyone had cash on them. Miz can give him his Rolex! Oh, that is a nice watch… Wait. Miz does know this isn’t real, right?

What?! The second hand ticks… Miz is offended and he hurries off. Well, so much for that. Will Miz find a way to get in on the game where a certain you-know-who is playing?

 

Raw returns and we continue with the poker game.

Corbin says read ’em and weep! Four of a Kind, KINGS! The table can’t believe it, but Corbin says Lady Luck is just on his side. But as Corbin leans over to grab the pot, MORE cards fall out of his sleeve! Corbin accused Lumis and he’s the one cheating?! Corbin says he’s not a cheater, someone put those in there! Styles and Corbin start shoving! JBL stops this, he JUST said no fighting! What is wrong with all of you!? They’re ruining his tournament! Okay then. Corbin, get your gear on and bring the Alphas with you. The OC heads out, will they make Corbin pay for playing dirty? JBL shouts, “What is wrong with these idiots?!”

So… Does Lumis win his table by default? Big tip for the dealer. That was easy! Great job, man! Let’s get this stuff in the bag. Tamina sneaks a few bills for herself. Will Lumis be the big winner by the end of tonight?

 

Backstage interview with Bianca Belair.

Cathy Kelley asks the RawEST Women’s Champion that Bayley is moving on to next week’s #1 contenders match, against whoever wins the second Triple Threat. How does Bianca feel knowing Bayley will get another opportunity? What Bayley did was impressive, but Bianca knows how to handle Bayley. But Bianca would be proud to face any of the women in the Triple Threat matches, even Rhea Ripley, who could’ve handled the loss more gracefully instead of taking her frustrations out on Bianca’s girl, Asuka. Then who does Bianca see winning the second Triple Threat?

Bianca knows Alexa, Becky and Nikki are all dangerous competitors in their own right. Bianca and Alexa grew closer taking on DMG CTRL, but she knows why Alexa was once champion and running the whole division. Nikki, on the other hand, is just unpredictable that could surprise anyone at anytime. And Becky has challenged Bianca more than any rival ever, but at the end, they have to be ready for Bianca. Bianca stays ready so she doesn’t have to get ready. Will Bianca be ready for whoever it is that comes out the NEW #1 contender?

 

Six Man Tag: The OC VS Baron Corbin & The Alpha Academy!

AJ Styles and the Good Brothers may not have come out the winners against Judgment Day, but they aren’t about to let JBL’s golden boy get the better of them at poker! Will the Original, Official and ONLY Club that matters be Too Sweet in DC? Or will Chad Gable & Otis help the Modern Day Wrestling God continue his winning ways?

Raw returns as JBL leads the way for his protégé. Corbin makes his entrance, followed by “SHOOOOSH~!” The trios sort out and JBL joins commentary. Corbin and Styles start, they tie up and Corbin knees low! Corbin ROCKS Styles, CLUBS him down, then runs to run Styles over! Fans boo but Corbin soaks up the heat. Corbin drags Styles up but Styles JAWBREAKERS! Styles CHOPS and ROCKS and whips, but Corbin reverses. Styles KICKS Corbin, and hits a DDT! Styles tags Karl but Corbin gets away. Gable tags in, and Gable circles with the Machine Gun. They tie up, Gable waistlocks and spins Karl to a snapmare.

Gable pushes Karl down, facelocks, gator rolls, and he waistlocks to then get a leg. Gable ties the legs up and says, “A THANK YEW~!” Gable floats to a facelock, headlocks, but Karl fights up to power out. Gable runs Karl over, “A THANK YEW~!” Gable runs, Karl drops to then hip toss! Fans fire up as Karl tags Gallows and the Good Brothers double whip. They run Gable over, then Gallows drags Gable up. Gallows wristlocks, Gable endures and rolls to bridge and handspring. Gable spins, breaks free, then says, “SHOOOOSH~!” Gallows says, “NERD~!” They start this up again, “SHOOOSH!” “NERD!” then Gallows UPPERCUTS Gable!

Tag to Karl, Karl brings Gable out but Gable throat chops! Gable bumps Karl off buckles, tags Corbin, and Corbin mugs Karl. Corbin puts Karl in a corner, fires off hands, then tags Otis. Otis RAMS into Karl, and again, and again! Otis picks Karl up to DUMP him down, then he snarls at Gallows. Otis drags Karl around to CLUB him down! Tag to Corbin, they mug Karl, then Corbin CLUBS Karl down. Fans rally but Corbin stands Karl up. Karl ORCKS and CHOPS and ROCKS Corbin again, but Corbin shoves him away. Corbin runs in, Karl moves, but Corbin slides out to slide in and LARIAT! Cover, TWO!

Corbin argues the count but the ref defnds it was just two. Corbin shouts out JBL and JBL cheers Corbin on. Corbin stands Karl up, CLUBS him down, then throws down elbow after elbow! Gable soaks up the heat for Corbin while Otis says that’s hammer time. Fans chant at “BUM ASS CORBIN!” Corbin back suplexes Karl but Karl lands on his feet! Hot tag to Styles! Corbin rushes in but Styles ROCKS him! Styles springboards, but Corbin gets under! Styles rolls through to ELBOW Gable, BLAST Otis, and runs back at Corbin to fire off a Phenomenal Blitz! Corbin flounders, Styles runs, but Gable dumps him out!

Otis CLOBBERS Styles! Fans boo but Gable says, ‘SHOOOOSH~! A THANK YEW~!” Fans boo more but Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and the Academy stomps a mudhole into Styles! The ref counts, they let off, and Otis drags Styles up. Otis CLUBS Styles, CLUBS him again, then drags Styles up to snapmare. Otis runs to SPLASH! Styles writhes and Otis snarls. Otis drags Styles up again, tags in Corbin, and they mug Styles. Corbin ROCKS Styles with a haymaker, then throws him up and out. Styles shoulders into Corbin, slingshots up and in but Corbin DECKS Styles out of the air! Cover, TWO! Corbin rains down fists while JBL talks down on the “flippy floppy” styles. Corbin puts Styles in the corner, tag to Gable, and the mugging continues.

Gable snapmares Styles and has a mounted armlock. Gable steps over to wrench the arm, fans rally up and Styles fight sup. Styles throws haymakers and reaches out, but Gable keeps him from the Good Brothers. Styles throws more hands but Gable throws him down! Gable BLASTS Karl, then tells Gallows to “SHOOSH~!” Gable drags Styles up, reels him in but Styles back drops! Hot tag to Gallows! But the ref was busy with an angry Karl! He says Gallows isn’t legal! Gable drags Styles up, and feeds him to a DEEP SIX!! Gable covers, TWO!! Styles survives and Gable is stunned! Tag to Otis, the Alphas drag Styles up to put him in a corner.

Otis SPLASHES, then whips Styles corner to corner. Otis runs in but Styles dodges to PELE! Down goes Otis! Fans fire up as Styles crawls, hot tags to Gable and Karl! Karl rallies on Gable, scoops him and SLAMS him! Karl runs to drop a SENTON! Then he BLASTS Corbin off the apron! Gable runs in, into a BOOT! Karl goes up, FLYING NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Fans fire up as Karl drags Gable up to fireman’s carry. Gable fights off, shoves, dodges, but Gable rolls to pick the leg to an ANKLE LOCK! Karl rolls to throw him away! Gable goes up, leaps, but into a SPINEBUSTER! Cover, Corbin breaks it!

Styles runs in, but into a CHOKE SLAM BACKBRAEKER! Corbin ELBOWS Gallows, puts Karl in a corner, and then he runs. Karl moves, Corbin slides out, but slides into a SLIDING FOREARM! Gallows BOOTS Corbin for good measures! Otis ROCKS Gallows, scoops him and EXPLODERS! Fans fire up as Styles PHENOMENAL FOREARMS Otis!! Gable gets in to GERMAN SUPLEX Styles! Karl waistlocks, Gable victory rolls, TWO!! Gable ROCKS Karl, Karl ROCKS Gable! ROLLING ELBOW from Gable! UPPERCUT from Karl! Both men are down and DC fires up again! Even JBL admits “This is Awesome!”

Karl crawls to tag in Gallows! Gable avoids Karl, O’Conner Rolls, but Gallows tips it over! Gallows kicks Gable, he and Anderson hit MAGIC KILLER!! Cover, The OC wins!!

Winners: The OC, by pinfall

JBL claims cheating, but he clearly missed a move or two. The OC wins fair and square, unlike Corbin. Will Styles & The Good Brothers turn their fortunes around and take over Raw?

 

Backstage interview with Candice LeRae.

Byron congratulates her on a victorious return to the ring last week, beating Dakota Kai. And because of that win, Candice has to face the other half of the WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions, Iyo Sky. Does Candice feel that now she’s a marked woman by DMG CTRL? Absolutely. She may be new to Raw but she’s known all those women a long time. Last week, Candice returned from an injury they were responsible for, so she had to send a message. Yes, Candice is here with burnt pixie wings, but she’s also a new mom. She has so much to fight for now. She won’t let anyone push her around. But little does she know, Nikki Cross is spying on Candice…

But then Johnny Gargano walks over to say hi to the wifey. She says hi to hubby, and how did poker go? Lumis won! He killed it! Look at all the money! WHAT THE- Uh… Sorry. Candice hates to be that person, but this is a lot of money. They’re gonna go now. What will The Garganos and Lumis do with that huge amount of money? And what is Nikki plotting for the Poison Pixie?

 

Dominik Mysterio w/ The Judgment Day VS Akira Tozawa!

The rebellious son of Rey Mysterio thinks Raw belongs to him now, but pretty much everyone outside the Judgment Day disagrees. Will the Stamina Monster prove Dom can’t do whatever he wants? Or will he end up just another victim?

The bell rings and Dom circles with Tozawa. Tozawa dodges Dom to SOBAT, but Dom ducks the spin kick! Tozawa slides under to ROLLING ELBOW! Dom staggers, Tozawa whips, but Dom stops. They kick each other, Tozawa fires off more hands, then he whips Dom to a corner. Dom reverses, runs in, but Tozawa boots him away. Tozawa goes up, leaps and RANAS Dom to the other side! Fans fire up with Tozawa but Dom stays back. Dom wants mercy, but then he YANKS Tozawa into buckles! Dom stomps a mudhole into Tozawa and the Judgment Day cheers while fans boo. Dom drags Tozawa up to snap suplex! Uno Amigo!

Fans boo as Dom snap suplexes again, Dos Amigos! Dom gives some Latino Heat before THREE AMIGOS! Cover, ONE!! Fans rally but Dom clamps on with a chinlock. Tozawa fights up but Dom CLUBS him. Dom whips, Tozawa pops up to RANA again! And then SHINING WIZARD! Cover, TWO!! Dom survives and Judgment Day gets worried. Tozawa CLUBS Dom, whips, but Dom reverses. Tozawa BOOTS Dom down, then waits on Dom to get up. Roll-up, BUZZSAW! Dom is dazed, Tozawa drags him to a drop zone. Fans fire up as Tozawa climbs! Rhea shouts at Dom to get moving, Tozawa leaps! SUPER SENTON FLOPS as Dom moves!

Rhea and the Judgment Day laugh, Dom drags Tozawa into a drop zone. Dom climbs up now, gives Latino Heat before the FROG SPLASH! Cover, Dom wins!

Winner: Dominik Mysterio, by pinfall

The Judgment Day is proud of their boy, but Dom drags Tozawa up. Fans boo but here come the Street Profits! Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins rush out to run the Judgment Day off. Finn, Dom, Priest & Rhea don’t sweat the Profits, but will they cross paths down the road all the same?

 

Adam Pearce finds Bobby Lashley backstage.

Pearce tells Lashley they need to talk about what happened earlier tonight. Lashley can’t hit one of Pearce’s officials. That Spear damn near cut Pete Williams in half. Lashley chuckles but then sees Pearce is serious. Yes, he’s serious! It’s a problem that they can’t have happen. Now, Pearce knows it was an accident, he was there to see it. He’s not going to punish Lashley or take away the #1 contender’s match. But if it happens again… Or what, Pearce? Well, put yourself in his position. If it happens again, Pearce’s hands are tied, and he doesn’t want it to happen. Lashley says if one of the cronies gets in the lion’s den and gets mauled by a lion, the lion gets punished?

No, that’s not what he means. Pearce knows this was an accident, but he just wants Lashley to be careful not to have another one. Then make sure no one stands in Lashley’s way. Lashley leaves, will he be able to focus on just Rollins next week?

 

Triple Threat: Becky Lynch VS Alexa Bliss VS Nikki Cross!

The Man made a big time promise, but she has to make it through both the Five Foot Fury and the No Longer a Superhero. Bayley awaits the winner, who is heading to Milwaukee for that #1 contenders match?

Raw returns and Becky makes her entrance. The bell rings and fans fire up, and Nikki swings her jacket around all wild. She shoves Becky, shoves Alexa, but then Becky throat jabs her! Alexa SHOTGUNS Nikki and Nikki flounders out of the ring! Becky waves bye, and then circles with Alexa. Fans rally for Becky but Alexa gets around her to waistlock. Becky bucks that, runs in but Alexa side steps to jump, into a FLAPJACK! Becky steps over but Alexa rolls her up, TWO! Becky sweeps and covers, TWO! Alexa trips to jackknife, but Becky bridges up! Becky spins Alexa around, backslides, TWO!

Becky avoids a sweep but not the CHPO! Snapmare, cover, TWO as Becky goes Matrix! Becky mule kicks Alexa, dropkicks Nikki off the apron, and then turns around, into a clinch! You don’t think…?! But Becky fights out of that to clinch back, only for Alexa to wheelbarrow and victory roll! TWO, Alexa hurries to wrench and STO! Fans fire up while Becky clutches her head. Alexa storms up to drop knees! But Nikki stops Insult2Injury to throw Alexa onto Becky! Nikki then grins as she watches both women crawl. Nikki runs at one corner to SPLASH Alexa! Then she SPLASHES Becky! Then SPLASHES Alexa! Then back to Becky!

Nikki keeps going but Alexa dodges! Becky uses Alexa as a step, BIG TIME IN MOTION! Becky fires forearms and stomps a mudhole into Nikki, then JUMP KICKS! And then she JUMP KICKS Alexa! Becky reels Nikki in for a BECKSPLODER! Nikki flounders away but Alexa storms up. Alexa SLAPS Becky, ROCKS her, then KNEES her, then SHOTGUNS her down! Fans fire up as Alexa runs in at the corner, but Becky dodges the double knees! Alexa blocks the jump kick this time, puts Becky on the apron, but Becky ROCKS Alexa! Becky brings Alexa over to bump her off buckles! Becky throws Alexa down, but Nikki trips Becky!

Nikki dribbles Becky’s face off the apron! Nikki growls, then RAMS Becky into steel steps! Alexa leaps off those steps, but Nikki blocks the DDT to RAM Alexa into the apron! Then THE PURGE to the floor! Nikki fires up and she pulls the desk apart! DC fires up as she clears it off, chugs water and splashes it all around! Nikki laughs and flails around while Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Nikki thrashes Alexa around before clamping on a chinbar half nelson combo. Alexa endures, claws at the hold, fights up and fans rally. Alexa throws body shots but Nikki throws her down! Nikki laughs at Alexa and wraps her up in a straitjacket stretch. Alexa endures again, even as Nikki grinds her into the mat. Alexa kicks around, Nikki keeps her down, and fans rally up. Alexa fights to her feet and throws body shots. Alexa ROCKS Nikki with forearm after forearm but Nikki shoves her away. Nikki kicks, ties her up, STRAITJACKET NECKBREAKER! But Becky CLOBBERS Nikki with flying forearms!

Fans fire up as Becky rocks and uppercuts and SOBATS Nikki, then repeats the process! Fans fire up more and Becky blocks a kick to sweep the legs! She rolls Nikki to then hit a BULLDOG! Becky puts Nikki in a corner, KICKS her in the back and hits an STO! Nikki flounders in the drop zone and Becky goes up. Fans fire up for the MAN’s LEG DROP! Cover, TWO!! Becky is amused that Nikki survives, and fans rally up. Becky eggs Nikki on. “You wanna be crazy? Get the hell up!” Becky slaps and CLUBS Nikki, then reels her in. Nikki fights the clinch, Becky shoves her away to try again, BECKSPLODER!

But Alexa returns to SOBAT! Alexa reels Becky in but Becky wrenches out! Becky has the arm but Alexa denies the takedown and puts Becky on the apron. Becky ROCKS Alexa, Nikki grabs at her but Becky kicks her away. Alexa POSTS Becky! Becky falls, Alexa to the apron to CANNONBALL Nikki and Becky together! Fans fire up as Alexa drags Nikki up and puts her in. Alexa hurries to cover, TWO! Alexa grows frustrated but she drags Nikki around to a drop zone. Alexa stomps Nikki on her way to the corner. Alexa climbs up, but Becky grabs at her. Alexa kicks Becky away but Nikki trips Alexa! Nikki climbs, she and Alexa brawl!

Nikki brings Alexa up but Becky joins in! TOWER OF DOOM!! Cover on Nikki, TWO!! All three women are down from that powerbomb superplex combo, and Alexa crawls her way out of the ring. Fans rally and Becky drags herself up. Becky stalks Nikki, she ROCKS Nikki but Nikki ROCKS Becky! They go forearm for forearm and fans fire up as Becky gets the edge! But Nikki headbutts low, then throat chops! Nikki runs in but is put on the apron! Nikki ROCKS Becky, climbs up top, and CROSSBODIES! Cover, Alexa breaks it in time!! Nikki is fuming, but Alexa drags Nikki up. Nikki RAMS Alexa into the corner! And again, and again!

Nikki keeps on Alexa with a mudhole stomp and a SPLASH, to a BULLDOG! Nikki storms back up on Alexa but Alexa ROCKS Nikki with a right! Alexa tosses Nikki out of the ring, catches her breath and runs, but Nikki stops the dropkick! Alexa and Nikki brawl more, Nikki shoves Alexa and CROSSBODIES her against the apron! Nikki drags Alexa up and puts her in the ring. Nikki drags Alexa up through the ropes, but Alexa fights with body shots! They brawl, Alexa SLAPS Nikki but Nikki HEADBUTTS Alexa! Nikki drags Alexa out onto the ropes, but Becky is up top! THE MAN’S LEG DROP DDT COMBO!!! Becky hurries to cover Alexa, TWO!!!

Becky can’t believe it but Alexa survives! Alexa flops out of the ring now, leaving Becky and Nikki alone. Nikki crawls to the apron but Becky goes out after her! Becky clinches, but Nikki fights it! Nikki holds the ropes as Becky waistlocks! Becky keeps trying but Nikki elbows her away. Nikki knees low, then reels Becky in! Fans fire up as Becky fights the lift! Becky fights free, clinches Nikki, APRON MANHANDLE SLAM!!! Becky shoves Nikki in, but DMG CTRL rushes out there!! Kai & Sky drag Becky away from the cover!! Fans boo as they mug Becky! Dakota RAMS her into the apron!

But Becky fights back with forearms and elbows! Dakota blocks a boot and Iyo helps haul her up! They bring Becky around, DOUBLE POWERBOMB through the announce desk!!! Fans lose their minds, but Alexa hits TWISTED BLISS!! Cover, Alexa wins!!!

Winner: Alexa Bliss, by pinfall (advances to next week)

DMG CTRL screwed Becky over big time! Is Bayley that afraid to face The Man 1v1? Will Alexa make Bayley regret it by taking that golden ticket from her instead?


My Thoughts:

A pretty good Raw here, but I guess with no RawDown event between now and The Royal Rumble, they’re really having to stretch builds out. That said, we got some great Triple Threats to get a lot of the women’s roster going tonight. Pretty good promo from Becky and Bayley, though maybe a little awkwardly paced. I don’t know if they were trying to pad for time or they only had a loose idea of what they were to say, but this is all just to set up the feud we knew was coming. Both Triple Threats were awesome, but I should’ve known DMG CTRL would screw Becky. Alexa VS Bayley will be a great match but I would think Bayley loses. We can’t have Bianca VS Bayley again so soon, and there’s a lot of great story for Alexa and Bianca to use.

Rhea going after Asuka after the loss was also an interesting detail. I suppose Rhea and Asuka can feud to bide their time. Bianca and Rhea are surely going to have a feud of their own soon, and it makes all the sense for Street Profits to join in on that. They come to Tozawa’s rescue, we’re getting a Six Man Tag of that first, but then we can bring Bianca and Rhea around into another big Mixed 8 like we saw for Judgment Day VS OC. Speaking of that, why didn’t Dom VS Tozawa happen before OC VS Corbin & Alpha Academy? They left the JBL Poker Invitational first, they should’ve been dressed and ready to go first.

And speaking of the Poker Invitational, those were a pretty fun handful of segments, but I feel like it all fell apart way too soon. Corbin should’ve won one table, Lumis wins the other, and then the final showdown is the set-up to the Six Man Tag. Miz trying to get in and failing was kinda funny, especially with JBL exposing Miz having a fake Rolex. It was a very subtle way to say Miz isn’t done with Lumis, and I’m still thinking we’re getting Miz & Maryse VS Indi & Dexter at some point. Hell, we could even get Miz & Maryse VS Gargano & Candice after that fun little interaction where Candice couldn’t believe that Lumis won such a huge haul. Also Nikki stalking Candice, that’s an interesting story in the works.

Great stuff out of the US Championship scene, but I guess they couldn’t have Ali lose legit. Ziggler looks like a jerk, but maybe we’re building to something huge for the US title. Ali and Ziggler probably fight each other for sure, maybe we see some kind of ladder match for the title by the time Rumble comes around. We also got great stuff out of Rollins and Lashley, from the promo to the brawl to Pearce more or less warning Lashley. Rollins plays the line of Face and Heel with how he was poking at Lashley with the Lesnar loss. Lashley’s temper could be what costs him against Rollins, and then Rollins faces Theory for the title before the year is over, and who knows how that goes.

And what a wild start to the night. I didn’t think the tag title match was going to be first, but that gave it a lot of time to breathe. Great little way to sub Elias out to keep Kevin Owens in the story, and Solo just going nuts on Riddle with all those Umaga references was wild. Riddle being sidelined is a clever way to delay Elias going after him. But then a bit of a shame that McIntyre isn’t cleared for right now. Dunne is going to have a great part of the match now, but I think he also takes the loss for his team so Sheamus isn’t hurt too much. They’re taking a long game approach to things, I like that, and we’ll see some good stuff in building towards Sheamus VS Roman for the Rumble.

My Score: 8.6/10

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Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (3/28/25)

SmackDown in the UK!

Published

on

London calling to the champion crowns!

SmackDown brings gold to London as LA Knight defends his WWE US Championship and The Street Profits defend their tag team titles! Will the landscape change this close to WrestleMania?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • WWE Tag Team Championships: The Street Profits VS Pretty Deadly; The Profits win and retain the titles.
  • Kayden Carter & Katana Chance VS The Secret Her-vice w/ Chelsea Green; The Secret Her-vice wins.
  • WWE United States Championship: LA Knight VS Braun Strowman; Braun wins, by disqualification, and Knight retains the title.
  • Charlotte Flair VS Mia Yim w/ B-Fab; Charlotte wins.
  • Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre; McIntyre wins.
  • Jimmy Uso VS The Miz; Jimmy wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Cody Rhodes is here!

We follow The American Nightmare as walks to gorilla, then through the curtain, and London sings along with the song, “WHOA~ OH~!” Cody gets his pyro, says hello to fans along the ramp, and then we get the second “WHOA~ OH~!” and pyro. Cody goes to the ring, grabs a mic, then kneels down to kiss the WWE logo on the mat. The fans continue to sing along all the way to the end, “I AM MY KINGDOM!” The fans then cheer, and Cody holds up the belt to fire them up even more! The fans now sing for “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” and he soaks it in. The fans cheer again as Cody smiles, and he finally says, “So, London~! Whaddya wanna talk about?”

The fans chant “Let’s Go, Cena!” “CENA SUCKS!” Cody hears that dueling, and he smiles again. The song of “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” returns, then they cheer. Cody says, “At WrestleMania 41, I will be facing John Cena…” The fans boo, but Cody says, “I will be facing John Cena as he goes to break the record and win 17. But that is WrestleMania 41. In just a few nights, I will be standing face to face with John Cena in this very same city, in this very same arena.” The fans cheer that, but then here comes Randy Orton! Now the fans sing along with Voices as The Viper heads to the ring. Orton also high-fives fans before he joins Cody.

Orton grabs a mic, paces while the fans keep singing on their own, and then the fans cheer. Orton says he’s not really the sentimental type, but for Cody and for London, screw it. The fans chant “R K O! R K O!” and Orton tells Cody, “Look at you. Look at who you are now, the man you are now. Look at where he came from.” The fans cheer and sing “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” and Orton says he remembers a Cody in his early 20s, just breaking into the business. Cody was busting his ass harder than anyone else. He wasn’t exactly happy, and in fact, he was frustrated. But Cody was man enough, smart enough, to know he needed to grow, and that he couldn’t grow in the WWE.

Cody wasn’t exactly treated fairly in the WWE, so Cody left the WWE! That took some big ass balls to do what he did! Cody changed the business singlehandedly, and everyone in the back knows it. And Orton appreciates Cody for it. But then Cody came back, as they all knew one day he would. And the industry has been changed forever since the day Cody came back to the WWE. Cody is a bit teary eyed as Orton says Cody’s still the same guy, he just did what he set out to do, and he grew. Orton teases he would sing along with the fans, but the fans might leave. The fans again sing “CODY! CODY RHODES~!”

Orton asks if they remember when Cody Rhodes faced Seth Rollins in Hell in a Cell. The fans cheer because they do. Orton says that was impressive, and even impossible, as he started with a partially torn pec and then ended with a fully torn pec! His body changed all kinds of shades of purple that Orton’s never seen on a human body. The pain he must have been in. Cody persevered not just for himself. Maybe not even at all for Cody. It was not even for his family legacy; it was for each and every single fan out there! Then Cody went on to WrestleMania, beat Roman Reigns and finished the story!

But there’s always another story, isn’t there? And Cody’s right in the middle of one. Cody is in charge of his legacy, and it is a privilege for Orton to watch Cody take control of it. Ticket sales have been up, there’s more intrigue around the world, and listen to the people! It is 99.9% all because of Cody! The fans cheer that, and of course they sing. Orton says what he’s trying to say is a long-winded version of he respects Cody, loves him, and is very, very proud of him. The fans cheer that! Orton then says, “But… But now it is time for WrestleMania.” They both look to the sign, and Orton says he can guarantee Cody that Orton will kick Kevin Owens so hard in the head…!

Orton can just feel it already! He forgets how many days are left, but he can’t wait to remove Kevin’s head from his shoulders. And Orton knows Cody will enter champion, exit champion, but not before he beats the holy hell outta Cena all up and down the Vegas strip! But after all the smoke clears and the dust settles, just like Orton wants Number 17, there will come a time when Orton will want Number 15. But Orton won’t kick Cody in the balls like a coward. Orton will look Cody in the eye because he respects Cody, is proud of Cody, and sees him as an equal. Orton will look Cody in the eye and tell him that he’s coming for the title.

The fans cheer but wait! Drew McIntyre is here! The fans cheer the Scottish Terminator as he steps out on stage, mic in hand, and has a wry smile on his face as he looks at the ring. Drew waves as the fans now sing, “OH~ Drew McIntyre~!” Drew says, “Isn’t this wonderful? A couple of nepo babies having a love fest in the middle of the ring> It makes me absolutely sick. What’d you just say, Randy? if Cody gets through Cena at WrestleMania, you’re coming for that title? What exactly have you done since that big comeback to justify that title match? Aside be Randy Orton. The only big moment I can remember is you being on the shelf for months and months and months.

“People like to make jokes about it, but more people talk about my five-minute-45-second title reign than your entire comeback so far! So get to the back of the line, sunshine! As for you, Cody, you should’ve listened to me. But you shunned me. You attacked me. Everybody should’ve listened to me about John Cena, but they didn’t. And the next night, he kicked you right in the twig ‘n’ berries, proving me right as usual. And the main event of WrestleMania should be Cody Rhodes VS The UK’s only ever world champion, Drew McIntyre!” Fans do like that idea. But sadly, it’s not, because of that guyliner wearing Temu Undertaker, Damian Priest!

Drew wants to talk about what is happening. And what’s gonna happen! Drew steps up to the ring while fans sing for him again. Drew says it will not be Randy that takes the title from Cody, should he get through Cena; it’ll be McIntyre. The fans cheer, but Orton says they were trying to have a moment. Can Drew just cut the crap already? Drew says okay, sure. He’ll tell the truth, because that’s all he ever does. The truth is, Kevin might have a point! If those Voices are talking to Orton again, then they know Drew very, very well. And he’s thinking, “My God, Randy looks great! Absolutely jacked! On the outside.

On the inside, that back is hanging by a thread. And if Orton provokes McIntyre, McIntyre will break him. And as for Cody- Cody kicks Drew and UPPERCUTS him! The fans fire up, and Orton R- NO, Drew gets away! The fans boo, but the battlelines are drawn! Even if Cody makes it out of the frying pan that is Las Vegas, it’ll be into the fire that is these contenders waiting in line! Will the American Nightmare be ready for whoever comes for the crown?

 

WWE Tag Team Championships: The Street Profits VS Pretty Deadly!

Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins are finally golden again, but it’s time to put the titles on the line already! And while they’re ready for the grind, they’re up against the hometown heroes! Will the Profits still be up in the O2? Or will Kit Wilson & Elton Prince say #YESBOY to a new reign of their own?

The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see who really wants the smoke!

The teams sort out and Kit starts with Dawkins. They tie up, Dawkins headlocks, but Kit powers up and out. Dawkins runs Kit over, the fans fire up, and Dawkins fires hands on Kit in the corner! The fans rally for Pretty Deadly, Dawkins whips Kit to a corner, but Elton takes that bump! Kit CLOBBERS Dawkins, then tags Elton! Atomic drop into DROPKICK! Ford runs up, but into a DOUBLE HIP TOSS! Dawkins whips, Elton reverses, and then Elton hurdles so Kit can DDT! The fans fire up with Pretty Deadly while the Profits bail out. Pretty Deadly has control while SmackDown goes picture in picture.

Elton is right on Dawkins as he gets in, and UPPERCUTS him to the corner. Elton clinches Dawkins for another UPPERCUT! Tag to Kit, and Elton RAMS into Dawkins so Kit can UPPERCUT! Dawkins flops over, Kit drags him up to wrench the arm. Kit whips, Dawkins reverses, but Kit grabs ropes. Kit ELBOWS Dawkins, DECKS Ford, but Dawkins CLOBBERS Kit! The ref reprimands but Dawkins RAMS Kit into the corner again and again! The ref counts, Dawkins fires fast hands, then he tags in Ford. Ford says, “SUCK IT!” then he KICKS Kit! Ford scuffs Kit, then drags him to a cover, TWO!

Ford keeps Kit down with a facelock, but Kit endures the grind. Kit fights up, fires body shots, but Ford whips him away. Kit sunset flips! Ford rolls through, and PENALTY KICKS! Ford mocks Elton with the Scott Hall fingers, and the ref has to keep Elton back. Ford drags Kit up, tags Dawkins, and the Profits mug Kit. Dawkins CLUBS Kit down, then stalks him. Dawkins stays between Kit and Elton, then whips Kit into the Profits’ corner. CYCLONE- NO, Kit dodges! Ford tags in, he keeps Kit from Elton now, but Kit slips out of the suplex! Kit fakes high to go low, hot tag to Elton! Elton rallies with LARIAT after LARIAT!

Elton kicks and whips Ford to a corner, then UPPERCUTS! Elton whips the other way, UPPERCUTS again, and then does it again! Elton adds to the hattrick with a lift, Ford says a quick prayer before the SUPLEX! Ford flounders, gets to his feet, but Elton dodges to springboard and FLYING UPPERCUT! Cover, TWO! Ford stays in this, but Elton stays on him. SmackDown returns to single picture and fans rally for Pretty Deadly as Elton gives Ford a back suplex. Ford lands out, waistlocks, but Elton switches and shoves Ford. Ford CLOBBERS Elton in return! Ford is also dazed but he covers, ONE!

Kit reaches out, Elton and Ford both crawl, hot tags to Kit and Dawkins! The fans fire up as Dawkins wrenches Kit, underhooks and SILENCER! Dawkins Electric Chair Lifts Kit, Ford climbs, but Kit slips free! Kit shoves Dawkins into Ford! Ford falls to the floor, but Dawkins ENZIGIRIS Kit! Elton tags in, and Kit LARIATS Dawkins! Pretty Deadly combine for DRY MARTI-KNEES! Cover, TWO!! Dawkins survives and the Profits are a bit unsure of what to do next. Dawkins crawls to a corner, Elton runs up, but Dawkins dodges! Elton hits buckles and Dawkins TOSSES Kit, then Dawkins hits a SKY HIGH on Elton!

Dawkins hurries to tag Ford and Ford climbs up! But Kit pushes Elton out of the way! Kit takes FROM THE HEAVESN, and Elton ghost pins Ford! TWO!! Ford escapes, and he ROCKS Elton! Elton UPPERCUTS Ford! Dawkins sneaks a tag, Ford SUPERKICKS! POUNCE SAIDO COMBO!! Cover, KIT BREAKS IT! The fans fire up while all four men are down! The teams go to opposite ends, then they all stand up in the corners. They all roar, all run in, and Kit SPEARS Ford while Elton FLYING UPPERCUTS Dawkins!! London is thunderous, and Kit hurries to tag in! Pretty Deadly gets Dawkins up, for SPILT MILK!! Cover, FORD BREAKS IT!

The fans are shocked, as is Elton, but Ford saves this for his team! “This is Awesome!” as Ford runs up and Elton TOSSES him out! Now DRY MARTI- NO! Dawkins doesn’t accept the second serving, and he DUMPS Kit out! Kit skins the cat while Dawkins DECKS Elton! Dawkins catches Kit to an Electric Chair! Ford rises, DOOMSDAY BLOCKBUSTER!! Cover, Profits win!

Winners: The Street Profits, by pinfall (still WWE Tag Team Champions)

Pretty Deadly put up a heroic fight, but the hometown heroes could not capture the gold. Dawkins & Ford hold onto the gold, will this be the strongest the Profits have ever been?

 

Kayden & Katana talk with Zelina Vega.

Carter & Chance know La Muneca got screwed over by The Green Administration. Chelsea thinks she’s untouchable, but someone’s gonna stop them eventually. Well, speaking of, Alba Fyre leads the way in as she & Piper Niven “scope the perimeter.” There’s one small threat. They frisk the “miniscule” threat, but nothing they haven’t dealt with before. Chelsea struts in and says, “The Eagle has landed~!” Zelina says she is so glad the “Bootleg Men in Black” have crashed the party. Now, yeah, they all know she’s small. But clearly this small “threat” is a big threat to Chelsea’s title reign. Otherwise, it wouldn’t have taken all three of them to beat her.

KC Squared agree with that. How about tonight, we see what happens when the odds are even? Chelsea says that’s fine, because Agents P & A are ready. The Secret Her-vice has been given their next mission, but will they be able to crash the party? Or will the party crash them?

Kayden Carter & Katana Chance VS The Secret Her-vice!

SmackDown returns and The Green Administration makes their entrance. The teams sort out, Alba starts against Katana, and the two tie up. Alba KNEES low, CLUBS Katana down, then fireman’s carries. Katana fights free, tags Kayden, and they KICK, double whip, and then trip Alba up for the basement DROPKICK! Katana adds a slingshot SENTON, Kayden covers, TWO! Kayden tags Katana, they double whip Alba to a corner, then Kayden runs in. Alba DUMPS Kayden out, ROCKS Katana, and she tags Piper! Katana arm-drags Alba out, then goes out to run up. Kayden gives her a boost, Katana CROSSBODIES Alba down!

The fans fire up, but Piper goes up and out?! CANNONBALL and down goes KC Squared! Piper salutes Chelsea and SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns, Kayden rallies on Alba while the fans rally up. Kayden fires up, runs in and whips, but Alba reverses. Kayden wheelbarrows, victory rolls, then SUPERKICKS! Kayden fires up again but the fans are torn. Kayden runs in at Alba to BOOT WASH her against the ropes! Chelsea protests, Kayden kicks at her, then Kayden springboards for a LEG DROP! Cover, TWO! Alba survives, Kayden whips, but Alba KICKS back! Tag to Piper, but Kayden jackknife bridges Alba! The ref explains bout the tag, Piper runs up, but Kayden moves! The SENTON hits Alba! Piper panics, Kayden tags Katana!

Katana goes up onto Kayden’s shoulders, VICTORY ROLL LAUNCHER, but Piper catches Katana! Katana fires hands, BOOTS, and then hurries to go up again. Kayden ROCKS Piper, and fireman’s carries?! SAMOAN DROP! Kayden then gives Katana the boost, for the KEG STAND SPLASH!! Cover, ALBA BREAKS IT! Kayden runs up on Alba to BOOT her out! Katana gives Kayden the boost now, SUPER CROSSBODY onto Alba! Kayden hurries to tag back in, and she brings Piper up. Piper swings, Kayden dodges and SUPERKICKS! Katana goes up, Piper staggers over that way, but Chelsea distracts the ref!

The fans are torn as Alba grabs Katana. Katana kicks Alba down, chases Chelsea off, but Piper sends Kayden into her! Piper scoops to PIPER DRIVER!! Cover, Secret Her-vice wins!

Winner: The Secret Her-vice, by pinfall

The Women’s US Champion helps her team, and now they all mug Kayden & Katana! But here comes Zelina! Vega runs down the ramp, CLOBBERS Alba, and then she gets in the ring! Zelina tilt-o-whirl DDTS Piper! And she KNEES Alba off the apron! But Chelsea CLOBBERS Zelina! Chelsea fires up, the UK is oddly with her, and she chicken wings Zeina. But Zelina fights free to fire forearms and body shots! And a BACK ELBOW! Zelina reels Chelsea in, CODE- SUPERKICK from Alba! SENTON from Piper! The Green Administration is just too much for Zelina to fight against alone! But can she, Kayden & Katana find a way to turn things around?

 

WWE United States Championship: LA Knight VS Braun Strowman!

Did the Mega Star just get this title back from Shinsuke Nakamura? YEAH! Did he help the Monster of All Monsters fight off Solo Sikoa’s rouge bloodline? YEAH! And now, does he have to defend this title against the monster he just helped? YEAH!! But will Knight still reign this close to WrestleMania? Or will Braun #GetTheseHands back on a championship?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and it’s time for Knight’s biggest challenge, YEAH!

The bell rings and the fans rally up as the two circle. The two tie up, and Braun SHOVES Knight away. Knight comes back, Braun SHOVES him down again! Knight gets up, gets around, and he headlocks. Braun powers up to back suplex, but Knight lands out! Knight tries but Braun’s too big to suplex! Braun ELBOWS Knight, storms up on him, but Knight fires haymakers! Knight whips, Braun reverses, but Knight KICKS back! Knight runs, but Braun HIP TOSSES! Cover, TWO! Knight stays in this, but Braun brings him up. Braun puts Knight in a corner, CHOPS, then runs, for a SPLASH! Knight sputters along ropes, Braun keeps moving, but Knight DUMPS him out!

The fans fire up as Knight then WRECKS Braun with a dropkick! Knight keeps moving, and he WRECKS Braun again! The fans fire up with Knight, but then Braun BOOTS Knight down! The fans are torn but Braun stands tall as SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and Braun puts Knight back in the ring. The fans cheer as Knight KICKS Braun! Knight tries again, but Braun’s still too big to back suplex! Braun CLUBS Knight, then runs in at the corner. Knight BOOTS Braun, goes up, and FLYING BULLDOGS! Both men are down and the fans fire up! Knight and Braun rise back up, and Knight dodges a shot to JAB! Then he dodges to JAB! JAB! JAB! “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” But Braun KNEES low! Braun scoops, Knight slips free, and Knight RAMS Braun into buckles! Then the BACK SUPLEX! The fans fire up and Knight rises again! Knight spells it out, “L! A! KNIGHT! YEAH!” ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO!

Braun has plenty left in the tank but the fans rally for Knight. Knight stands Braun up to kick low, but Braun THROWS Knight away! Knight rises, and Braun LARIATS Knight up and out! The fans fire up as Braun rips the shirt! Braun gets on the track, and he runs in, STROWMAN EXPRESS MEETS JACOB FATU!! The Samoan Werewolf strikes Braun down!

Winner: Braun Strowman, by disqualification; LA Knight retains the title

The fans boo as Jacob now goes after Knight! He just ruined what was becoming a great match, but Jacob fires HEADBUTT after HEADBUTT on Braun! SAMOAN DROP onto the desk!! The desk doesn’t budge, but Braun might’ve been broken in half! The UK fires up for Fatu as he puts Braun in the ring! Jacob fires more HEADBUTTS, then HEADBUTTS away on Braun in the corner! The fans sing “OLE~ OLE OLE OLE, FATU~, FATU~!” Jacob runs corner to corner, but Knight kicks him first! Knight fires haymakers, “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” Jacob denies the BFT to POP-UP SAMOAN DROP! And then HIP ATTACK for Braun anyway!

Jacob keeps going, HIP ATTACK for Braun again! Jacob throws off his jacket, glares at Braun, and he runs in for a third HIP ATTACK! Braun flounders into the drop zone, so Jacob goes up, up, BEST MOONSAULT EVER! Direct hit on Braun, but the fans want that “ONE MORE TIME!” Jacob obliges, BEST MOONSAULT EVER! The Samoan Werewolf just tore up #OneBigSOB and LA Knight, will there be no stopping him from taking the United States Championship?

 

Backstage interview with Jimmy Uso.

Jackie Redmond is with #BigJim, and she says that while she knew WWE was going global this month, she did not know they’d get the slap heard ’round the world! Jimmy says he’d do it again, and he’ll slap Gunther as many times as he needs! Jimmy knows Jey is up in his own head, doubt is creeping on him. But just because Jey’s 0-3 against Gunther doesn’t mean Gunther’s unbeatable! The Ring General CAN be got! Jimmy’s going to Raw this Monday, he will bust Gunther’s ass, Jey will go to Mania and bust Gunther’s ass to become the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. And then they leave Las Vegas just like this: YEET!

Jimmy heads out, but then The Miz & Carmelo Hayes walk by. Miz is mocking Jimmy’s words, and he asks excuse me. Miz says it’s just funny that suddenly, Jimmy is a tough guy, even though for most of his career, he’s been “The Other Uso.” Doesn’t Jimmy get it? Jimmy and Jey are career sidekicks while Gunther is a main character. Gunther is the lead, neither Jimmy nor Jey can beat him. And here’s another thing: The Usos are just blips on the trailer that was Roman Reigns’ Bloodline. Melo says Jimmy & Jey are stuck outside the club, they can’t even get in.

Miz says as a former WWE Champion, a former WrestleMania main eventer, Jimmy will never know what it is to carry this industry. And after this year’s WrestleMania, neither will Jey. Oh, and by the way, if Jimmy ever slapped Miz like that, Jimmy would still be on the ground. Jimmy feints the slap and Miz freaks out. Jimmy says it may be him and Gunther on Monday, but he’ll holler at Aldis real quick so it can be Jimmy VS Miz here tonight. Yeah, YEET! Jimmy heads out, Melo says he thought Miz was gonna do something about the slap. Will Miz have to do something about running his mouth before he gets his teeth kicked in?

 

Solo Sikoa & Tama Tonga find Jacob Fatu backstage.

Solo asks Jacob what the Hell he was doing out there. Jacob goes out there alone without saying a thing to them? Jacob says he ain’t gotta say nothing to nobody! Matter fact, didn’t Solo not tap in with him last week? Tama says, “But Jacob,” only for Jacob to say, “But nothing, Tama!” Solo wants Jacob to lower his tone, but Jacob says okay. Let him be very clear with them. When it comes to Braun Strowman, Jacob WILL be the last man standing. Y’all better get in where you fit in, cuz that US title? Oh, Jacob’s bringing it home to the family. And he will do it with them, or without them! Yadada mean? Fatu heads out, is the Samoan Werewolf no longer following Solo?

 

Naomi speaks.

“I mean… How did we even get here? I don’t know. One thing that I do know is that I’ve always been the woman to do the right thing. I’ve always been the woman to do the right thing. So Bianca, what makes you think that my attack on Jade was anything different from me doing the right thing? When I sit here and I think about all that I’ve sacrificed, all that I’ve given, and that’s what really breaks my heart. Because through all of that, I’m made to be the bad one in this situation. I just don’t understand, how does Jade come in outta nowhere and take my place with you? I want you to ask yourself this, Bianca. Who inspired you? Hmm?

“Who’s inspired women over the last decade? Who’s always had your back from day one of you being here? Me. Not Jade. Hmm. But you know what? What I’ve learned through all of this: You teach people how to treat you. And I’m done with being treated as a third wheel. I’m done being pushed to the side, I’m done with being too nice, I’m done with being undervalued, underutilized, underappreciated! So moving forward, hmm… Moving forward, here’s my message to you, Jade. If you continue to be in my way, I strongly advise you to proceed with caution.” The Glow shows her dark side, but will the storm be moved?

 

Nick Aldis meets with Jade Cargill.

Speaking of, the SmackDown General Manager understands things have been rather difficult for her as of late. Jade says she’s been trying to get her hands on Naomi for the past few weeks, now where is she? No one has seen her all day, so as far as anyone knows, Naomi’s not here. Well, when Jade catches Naomi, it’s on sight. Jade leaves, B-Fab & Michin are there. They let her know that what Naomi did to her was straight trash, totally uncalled for behavior. And after Jade gets her hands on Naomi, she’ll handle that business. Jade agrees. Mia says they’ve all got business to handle. Jade’s got Naomi, and Mia’s gonna get Charlotte for messing with her girl, B.

B-Fab says Naomi’s got what’s coming to her: no sympathy, no regrets. Jade, just do what you gotta do. Oh, she will. Jade also wishes Mia luck tonight. Mia & B-Fab head out, will the Head Baddie in Charge make the Queen bow down in London?

 

The darkness approaches.

“You are as I was. As I am, you will be.” The shadows are starting to take shape, but is SmackDown about to fade to black?

 

Charlotte Flair VS Mia Yim w/ B-Fab!

The Queen looks down on everyone, so it’s no surprise that everyone else wants to take her down. Charlotte may have checked off B-Fab, but will the HBIC be a much different story? Or will Charlotte only sharpen her edge before facing Tiffany Stratton at WrestleMania?

WAIT! NAOMI ATTACKS B-FAB & MICHIN! Naomi drags Mia up for a FACEBUSTER! Naomi rains down fists, the ref reprimands and the fans boo, but Naomi tells the ref to back off. Naomi then BOOTS B-Fab off the apron! Naomi goes out after B-Fab to THRWO her into barriers! Naomi SLAPS B-Fab, tells her to stay down, but B-Fab gets up. Naomi fires hands, then she SMACKS B-Fab off the desk! Naomi rains down fists, but here comes Jade! Jade hurries down the ramp, she runs around the way, but Naomi runs away! Jade makes sure B-Fab is okay, but refs have to help her to the back. And what of Mia? Will she even be able to compete?

Charlotte makes her entrance, not really caring about what Naomi just did to Mia. But that means she also crosses paths with Jade. The fans like the look of this stare down, but Jade and Charlotte both let the other slide. Charlotte gets her pyro, and it seems she’ll still get her match. Will Mia be little more than an appetizer now?

The bell rings, and Charlotte BOOTS Mia down! Cover, TWO! Mia stays in this and the fans rally up. Charlotte just struts around while SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns, Charlotte has Mia down with a chinlock, but the fans rally up. Mia fights up, fires body shots, and she then blocks a shot to ROCK Charlotte! Mia ROCKS Charlotte again and again, then reels her in for a TORNADO DDT! The fans fire up as Mia hurries to cover, TWO! Mia drags Charlotte up, wrenches, but Charlotte says no to Da Feet! BIG back suplex! Mia stagger sup, Charlotte whips her, but Mia reverses! Charlotte goes up and out, BOOTS her away, then slingshots in and rolls Mia! Mia rolls through and BUZZSAWS! Mia runs corner to corner, but Charlotte avoids the cannonball!

Charlotte YAKUZA KICKS Mia down, then fires herself up! The fans “WOO~!” as Charlotte has Mia in the drop zone,. Charlotte steps on her, goes up the corner, but Mia gets underneath her! SIT-OUT POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! Charlotte survives and Mia is shocked! Mia nods as the fans rally back up, and she brings Charlotte up. But Charlotte ROCKS Mia! Mia SOBATS, PELES, and then runs to PENALTY KICK! Cover, TWO! Charlotte stays in this, Mia grows frustrated, but the fans continue to rally. Mia uses that energy to stay focused, and she stalks Charlotte to waistlock. But Charlotte ELBOWS her away!

Charlotte CHOPS, and CHOPS, and CHOSP! Charlotte winds up, and she CHOPS again! Mia sputters, but then she dodges the boot! Charlotte is caught, and Mia hits a SAIDO! Charlotte flounders to a corner, the fans rally behind Mia, and Mia runs up, CANNONBALL! Mia hurries to wrench and EAT- NO, Charlotte shoves Mia away! Charlotte gets under, back suplexes, but Mia lands out! EAT DA FEET!! Cover, ROPEBREAK!! Charlotte’s long legs help her survive by a literal foot! Mia is beside herself while Charlotte bails out. Mia storms after Charlotte, runs up, but Charlotte dodges! Mia’s kick hits steel steps!

Mia hobbles away, goes to the apron, but Charlotte CHOP BLOCKS the bad leg out! Charlotte grabs Mia’s leg, drops a KNEE on the knee, but fans chant, “We Want Tiffy!” Charlotte just steps through, FIGURE FOUR, into FIGURE EIGHT!! Mia taps, Charlotte wins!

Winner: Charlotte Flair, by submission

Charlotte got more of a fight out of Mia than expected, but she still won. Will The Queen be more than ready to reign again after WrestleMania?

 

Backstage interview with Tiffany Stratton.

Jackie Redmond is with the WWE Women’s Champion and says Charlotte certainly looks confident. Let’s be real, Charlotte came at Tiff pretty hard. It got a lot of people talking. Tiff says yes, people talk. And Charlotte sure loves to hear herself talk. Ten years into the business and Charlotte is still so insecure that she can’t let a “rookie” get a word out. But last week, Tiff did learn something: She learned that walking into WrestleMania, she isn’t the one with something to lose. Truth is, if Tiff loses, then she lost to the great Charlotte Flair, as just a 25-year-old rookie with one year into SmackDown.

But if Charlotte loses… Well, then she lost to an “undeserving, delusional, unoriginal, backflip doing, blonde-hair-having, little girl.” Did she get it all? And Tiff can’t wait to hear the look on Charlotte’s face when they hear the words, “And STILL!” Then maybe Charlotte will finally shut up for the sake of literally everyone! They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, and Tiff will make damn sure what stays is Charlotte’s massive ego. Tiff is walking into and out of Mania as the WWE Women’s Champion. Tootles! Tiff heads out, will it still be #TiffyTime after WrestleMania?

 

Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre!

The Viper told Cody how proud he was, but also how he wants the next shot after John Cena. The Scottish Terminator took offense to that, and basically said he is taking that shot instead. Will this match be an unofficial #1 contender’s match between these two former world champions?

SmackDown returns and McIntyre makes his entrance. The bell rings and the fans sing, “OH~, Drew McIntyre~!” and chant “R K O! R K O!” Drew and Orton circle, tie up, and they go around in a deadlock. Drew powers Orton to a corner, but Orton headlocks back. Drew powers up and out, then he runs Orton over! Orton hurries to ropes and Drew mockingly asks, “How’s the back feel, Randy?” Orton stands, he and Drew reset, and the fans duel some more. Drew calls for a knuckle lock, Orton accepts, but then Drew kicks low! Drew bumps Orton off buckles, then climbs up, but he panders for too long and Orton YANKS him down!

The fans fire up as Orton climbs now! Orton rains down fists, and the fans count to nine. Orton hops down, brings Drew around, and POSTS him for ten! Drew tumbles out of the ring, Orton goes out after him, and they’re by the desk! But Drew kicks Orton first and SMACKS him off the desk! Drew clears the desk, and he brings Orton up for the DESK- NO, Orton fights free! Orton turns things around, DESK BACK SUPLEX for Drew! The fans fire up while Orton leaves Drew behind, and SmackDown goes picture in picture.

Drew writhes on the floor, but Orton goes out to fetch him! Orton brings Drew around, UPPERCUTS him, then says one more time! DESK BACK SUPLEX! Drew writhes as that desk stays standing! Orton grins, refreshes the ring count, and then he storms up on Drew. Drew pokes Orton in the eye! Drew POSTS Orton now, then brings him around to RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP into barriers! Orton slumps down, and Drew also grits his teeth from that double-edged attack, but Drew fires up as he stands tall. Drew drags Orton up, puts him in the ring, then stalks Orton. Drew looms over Orton, and HIP DROPS him!

Orton sputters, Drew says one more time, and he winds up for the HIP DROP! Drew paces around Orton, says maybe one more time, and he pretends he can’t hear the fans. Drew winds up again, but Orton flips over! Hip drop meets kneecaps! And then Orton pokes Drew in the eyes! The ref reprimands but Orton rises up. Drew sputters and flounders, Orton ROCKS him with a right! Drew ROCKS Orton back! Drew storms up, Orton kicks low, but Drew fires another haymaker! The haymakers go back and forth, Orton gets the edge, but Drew GLASGOW KISS HEADBUTTS! Cover, TWO! Drew clamps onto Orton with an armlock!

SmackDown returns to single picture and the fans rally up. Orton fights up, pries at the chinbar, and then throws right hands! Drew CHOPS Orton in return! The fans “WOO~” and Drew winds up. Drew ROCKS Orton again, eggs him on, then CHOPS again! Drew shoves Orton to a corner, CHOPS again, then dares Orton to fight! Drew whips corner to corner, but Orton comes back to LARIAT! And LARIAT! Drew swings, Orton dodges, SNAP POWERSLAM! The fans fire up as Orton stalks Drew to the apron. Drew HOTSHOTS Orton first! Drew then runs in, but Orton puts him through the ropes!

The fans fire up as Orton has Drew for the DRAPING DDT! The fans fire up for Orton, and Orton hears those voices! Drew rises, but then Orton spots KEVIN OWENS! The Prizefighter is on the ramp, Orton glares at him, but then he turns around into a CLAYMORE!! Cover, DREW WINS!

Winner: Drew McIntyre, by pinfall

Kevin’s mere presence costs Orton, and now Drew has a huge win propelling him down the Road to WrestleMania! As for Orton, Kevin drags him out of the ring, SMACKS him off the desk, and then climbs up to join him! The fans boo but Kevin and his hot pink sneakers have Orton in position, but Orton slips free and TRIPS Kevin up! Kevin hits the desk then the floor! Orton staggers around, the fans rally behind him, and Orton stalks Kevin to the corner of the barriers. Orton lines up the shot! Orton runs in, but Kevin jumps over barriers! Security is there to stop Orton from pursuing, so Kevin runs away into the night!

The fans boo, but The Viper was that close! Will Orton be able to strike Kevin down and completely take him out?

 

Fire, thunder, smoke…

The force of nature is drawing ever closer. And he’s ready to fly! REY FENIX arrives next Friday Night SmackDown!

 

Jimmy Uso VS The Miz!

#BigJim gave Gunther a piece of his mind and a mark on his cheek, but it seems not everyone got the message. Will the Hollywood A-lister soon star in the Uso Penitentiary? Or will he prove Jimmy is NOT ready for a world champion level opponent?

The bell rings and the two tie up. Jimmy powers Miz to a corner, Miz turns things around, and the ref counts. Miz takes a swing, Jimmy ducks it to CHOP! And CHOP! Miz shoves Jimmy back, then runs up, but Jimmy TACKLES Miz! Jimmy rains down fists, Miz shoves him away to go to ropes, but Jimmy storms back up. Miz ELBOWS Jimmy away, then runs back up, only for Jimmy to LARIAT him down! The fans fire up while Jimmy storms up on Miz. Jimmy CHOPS Miz, has him in a corner, then whips corner to corner. Miz reverses, Jimmy goes up and over, then UPPERCUTS! Miz staggers back to ropes, but Jimmy is right on him.

Jimmy whips, Miz reverses and kitchen sink knees! Then basement BOOTS! The fans fire up, Miz scowls, and Miz KNEES Jimmy in the back again and again. Miz stalks Jimmy to the ropes now, and he CHOKES Jimmy! The ref counts, Miz runs, and Miz STRADDLE ATTACKS! The fans boo, but Miz runs again. Jimmy ducks the boot, then dodges a lariat! Jimmy runs up to LARIAT Miz up and out! The fans fire up and Jimmy builds speed, but Miz runs away! Jimmy smirks as he goes out the side, and UPPERCUTS Miz over the barriers! Jimmy makes sure Gunther knows he’s coming to get him, but SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and both men are down. Miz and Jimmy crawl, and Jimmy pounds the mat. The fans rally, Jimmy rises and runs up to LARIAT! And LARIAT! And mule kick! Jimmy then UPPERCUTS Miz, dodges a lariat, then SAMOAN DROPS! The fans fire up, Jimmy goes to the corner, “UCE! OH!” Jimmy runs in, but Miz puts him on the apron! Jimmy UPPERCUTS again! Jimmy climbs, leaps, but Miz gets under! Miz then waistlocks, ripcords, and MOVIE MAKER! Fans boo that blatant parody, but Miz full nelsons! Jimmy drops, victory rolls, TWO! Miz has the cover, TWO! Miz hurries to BASEMENT DDT! Cover, TWO!

The fans rally up as Jimmy survives! Miz stalks Jimmy, the fans rally up more, and Miz fires a KICK! And then another KICK! The fans say “YES! YES! YES!” to the It Kicks, but then Miz winds up. Jimmy ducks the buzzsaw, Miz blocks the superkick, but the DRAGON WHIP connects! Miz rebounds to B-MOVIE KNEE!! Cover, TWO!! The parodies don’t get it done, but Miz still has his original work to fall back on. The fans rally for “UCE! OH! UCE! OH!” Miz runs in, A-LIST LARIAT! Miz shoves Jimmy down, then springboards, but into a SUPERKICK! Jimmy hurries up top, for the USO SPLASH!! Cover, Jimmy wins!

Winner: Jimmy Uso, by pinfall

Miz may be a movie star, but Big Jim’s the one winning this main event! Jimmy then borrows Joe Tessitore’s headset to call out Gunther! He’s coming after dat ass on Monday! Gunther won’t be the ring general, he will be “Private Gunther,” and he will salute Big Jim! Uh, uh, YEET! Will Jimmy be the one making examples out of the World Heavyweight Champion? Or will everything come crashing down when Gunther gets his turn?

 

Drew McIntyre returns backstage.

And he says hey to Lewis Capaldi, the Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter, and also a big fan of Drew’s. They’re ready to have a good night in the pub, but Jackie Redmond walks over to congratulate him on the win tonight. She was hoping to get some thoughts on that victory and what happened with Orton and Kevin. Drew says it’s alright, this is what happens. He doesn’t care about anybody else’s business, but no one gets away with screwing him over. And when no one meddles in his business, he wins! Drew called out Priest, where is he? Priest doesn’t have the balls! So time to get mad in the pubs, everyone’s invited!

Drew turns the corner, but PRIEST IS THERE! Priest ROCKS Drew, SMACKS him off the door, then throws him into road cases! Priest ROCKS Drew, SMACKS him off the trunk of a car, and then again! Or since it’s London, “the boot.” The driver complains, but Priest BODY SLAMS that guy through a table! Drew comes back to KNEE Priest low, SMACK him off the trunk, and then off the side! They go to the hood, or bonnet for UK. Drew drags Priest up, but Priest CLAWS Drew’s eyes! Priest then sends Drew SOUTH OF HEAVEN through the windshield! Priest tells security that he’s done for now. Any more jokes, Drew? Didn’t think so! RIP, jackass!

Priest leaves, the producers hurry to help Drew, and Drew’s got glass in his eye! Will that glass help Drew see why he shouldn’t piss off the Punisher?

 

CM Punk heads to gorilla.

He has a security detail with him, and he passes by Drew writhing in pain. Punk chuckles, then continues on. Will his contract signing with Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins be just as brutal? We find out, after the break.

 

Nick Aldis is in the ring.

The SmackDown General Manager welcomes us back, and says it is his honor and privilege to be here in the O2 in London. Now, we all know why he and this table is here, and why additional security is here tonight. Tonight, we are here to sign a contract for a Triple Threat. Perhaps the biggest Triple Threat in the history of WrestleMania: Seth Rollins VS CM Punk VS Roman Reigns! The fans cheer all those names, and here comes the OTC! London puts the ones up, and Paul Heyman accompanies THE Tribal Chief out on stage. Roman raises his finger to the sky for the pyro, then security follows him to the ring.

SmackDown goes picture in picture as Roman’s entrance continues, and he raises his finger to the sky for the second round of pyro. Roman steps into the ring, SmackDown returns to single picture, and Heyman hands him a mic. The fans sing, “ROMAN! ROMAN REIGNS~!” Roman nods, the fans cheer, and now they chant, “O T C! O T C!” Roman tells London, “ACKNOWLEDGE ME!” The fans cheer again, and again chant, “O T C! O T C!” Roman smiles, but he sees the chairs are not to his liking. Heyman makes sure to put one at the head of the table. Heyman also dusts the chair off while Roman enjoys the singing of, “ROMAN! ROMAN REIGNS~!”

Roman takes a seat and says that was beautiful. The way they sing to their Tribal Chief, it’s just beautiful. The singing continues, and Heyman even joins in! Roman smiles, and he says that is what he’s talking about. That’s the OTC for you, baby! The biggest star on the planet! The OTC came here for two reasons. One: to be acknowledged; check! And two: to sign this contract. Roman does just that, and he says he’s checked both boxes. That means- “BURN IT DOWN!” Seth Rollins interrupts! The fans now sing, “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~!” Rollins struts out in his red wine paisley suit and conducts the O2 Choir all the way into the ring.

The fans cheer while Roman frowns, but Rollins takes the seat to Roman’s left. Rollins offers Heyman a chance to sing to this song, but Heyman frowns. Rollins chuckles, and he says the fans do have beautiful singing voices. He doesn’t know why Roman is in such a hurry to leave, though! This is their building! There’s a lot of history here! 12 years ago, they landed on the roof of this place in a helicopter! They came down those stairs over there, “ready to burn down the old guard!” They put the Undertaker down through the desk, and they were going to remake this company in their image!

Now don’t get him wrong, Rollins knows a lot has happened since then. They fought against each other, with each other, a little bit of love and a whole lot of hate. But Rollins dare says, as the fans continue to sing “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~,” that Rollins and Roman accomplished their mission. The fans start to chant for CM Punk, but Rollins tunes them out. Roman says, “We? We? You keep saying we. Our mission? We died a long time ago. It’s only been ME. You been here, but I done all the work! I’ve made this place what it is today! I took us to the level that we are here today! I made this place better than we found it!

“I’m the one that made us desirable to Netflix! I’m the one that took us into billion-dollar deals! Tell me, what have you done?” Rollins shouts, “I’ll tell you what I’ve done! YOU, YOU, YOU, it’s that mindset that keeps me having to screw you! You understand that? And your biggest mistake is not understanding the danger that’s right in front of us! The danger that’s right in front of you! You let the biggest snake in the world, CM Punk, into the garden! And you could’ve cut his head off at WarGames! But instead, you shook his hand. You could’ve let me finish him inside the cage at The Garden, but you didn’t. And now, I am left to do what I always do: Clean up your mess, again.”

Rollins drops his mic, picks up the pen, and signs his part. And now, here comes CM PUNK! The fans fire up and sing along with Cult of Personality, then join in on saying, “IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME~!” Punk goes to the ring, but as he grabs a mic, he goes up a corner, just like he did last Friday. “I have come here to chew bubblegum and sign a contract. And I’m all outta bubblegum.” The fans cheer the Rowdy Roddy Piper reference, and Punk hops down to take his seat on Roman’s right. Punk looks over said contract, but Roman asks if Punk needs a highlighter or something. What’s he doing? Just go to page four, clause five.

Punk does as Roman says, but Roman says Punk needs to hurry, this is precious TV time. Punk reads the segment, Roman tells Heyman to just smarten Punk up. Heyman tells Punk he knows what Punk is looking for. It is in there. They’re closing the show at WrestleMania. The fans go wild hearing that! Heyman tells Punk that he gets to live his dream of dreams. CM Punk will be a WrestleMania main eventer! The fans cheer and while Roman smiles, Rollins is furious. Roman says, “One man’s dream is another man’s favor! CHECK!” Wait, this was the favor? Rollins says no! This is not something to laugh at, and Punk does not get to tear up!

Punk is NOT deserving! He does NOT deserve this! The fans boo but Rollins continues to throw a fit! Main eventing WrestleMania is SACRED, the most important thing in the world to Rollins! More than anything! Except the fact that Punk NEVER gets to main event! This is all Roman’s fault! This is all Heyman’s fault! Rollins THROWS his mic down, paces angrily, but Punk picks up the mic. The fans cheer Punk on again, and Punk stands to thank London, to thank Chicago, to thank Louisville, Kentucky, and to thank ALL the fans. As corny as it sounds, he thanks the WWE Universe who stood by him and chanted his name for TEN LONG YEARS!

Roman says hold on, hold on. Punk shouldn’t be thanking the fans! He should be thanking the Tribal Chief! It is because of Roman that Punk gets this honor! So please, take this moment, close the show with that acknowledgement! Do this the right way. The credits are already rolling as Punk kneels before Roman!? Punk smiles, and he thanks “My Tribal Chief, the holder of the ula fala, the Head of the Table, the… Big Dog? Thank you for allowing a kid from Chicago to be graced by your presence. Thank you, My Tribal Chief, for allowing me to stand in your ring. And thank you so much. Thank you, Roman Reigns, so very much.

“But because of you, I will see you in the main event of WrestleMania.” And again, Rollins is agonizing over this. Punk finishes putting his signature on the contract, and London tells him, “You Deserve It!” Punk thanks Roman again, and then says, “But that’s not the favor that I’m owed.” WHAT?! Roman looks at Heyman and Heyman can’t look him in the eye! If getting this Triple Threat made into the main event isn’t the gift of the Wise Man, then what is?!


My Thoughts:

A good SmackDown, but they pulled off quite the paradox. They made it feel like they were struggling to fill three hours, yet they also filled the show to the point where that contract signing segment was almost bleeding over the three hour mark. Ironically, part of the problem was just how excited the London crowd was for this. The superstars still wanted to enjoy the chants and songs, but that’s time SmackDown doesn’t have to spare. It made the opening promo from Cody, Orton and Drew take longer, and it kinda did the same to the contract signing at the end. Even so, we still got a very good promo, and good stuff to set up Orton VS McIntyre.

Orton VS McIntyre was a great match, but of course Kevin costs Orton. McIntyre gets his win, Kevin and Orton have a bit of a brawl, but of course Kevin ends up on the losing end and runs off. McIntyre’s trash talk also comes back to bite him as Priest gets the better of him in their brawl. Here’s hoping Drew didn’t actually get glass in his eye, but that being the thing in kayfabe can be some good stuff. I can imagine McIntyre with an eyepatch, and he takes it off at the opportune time to get the better of Priest in their match. Also what a fitting choice for Punk to be passing by Drew suffering because of real glass.

Very good title matches tonight, but of course the status quo was kept. Pretty Deadly gets to look great here in London, but the Profits only just got the belts, they’re not going to be transitional champions like that. And Knight VS Braun was really good stuff, but honestly, Jacob Fatu going after them both should’ve been a given. Jacob also had a great promo with Solo & Tama to start adding to that divide between Jacob and Solo. I would hope Solo doesn’t screw Jacob out of the US Championship, but it feels like he will as Solo won’t stand for Jacob defying his authority, even though Solo’s been trying to make Jacob the champion all along.

Very good stuff from Jimmy Uso tonight, from his promo with #MeloDon’tMiz and then a great match with Miz. Their match ended up the de facto main event match, so that’s also great for both guys. Great win for Jimmy, but that’s likely because Jimmy is losing big time to Gunther on Monday. And it might just be me, but it feels like only now is the Jey VS Gunther build really moving, largely in part because Jimmy got involved. Jimmy’s promo after his match is something along the lines of what Jey should be saying. But I suppose as brothers, Jimmy is the one who knows Jey best and knows what Jey needs to be motivated again. And seeing Jimmy get beat up by Gunther will definitely motivate Jey…

Good final vignettes for Rey Fenix and Aleister Black. I’m a little surprised they confirmed Rey Fenix is showing up next week, and that they confirmed who Rey Fenix even is. I believe commentary confirmed Rey Fenix is Penta’s real brother, even namedropped “Lucha Brothers,” but all that is still surprising considering Fenix is going to start on SmackDown. Aleister’s vignette (at least I am fairly confident it’s his) was giving us glimpses of his silhouette, but I think there was usage of AI in the snake imagery. It was fine they did it for El Grande Americano because that is all trolling, but they really should try and do things the old fashioned way of photoshop and stock imagery.

Very good stuff in the Women’s Division tonight, though the WWE Women’s Championship portion was the weaker. Naomi’s got a great Heel persona going, her promo was great, and her going after B-Fab & Michin over them supporting Jade was a great detail. Jade runs Naomi off, helps B-Fab, but there was no helping Michin in being fed to Charlotte. Tiffany had a decent promo, and it does fit how Charlotte kept her from speaking so she finally gets things out here. It didn’t really add that much, though, but they already gave us a great brawl so not sure what more they can give.

KC Squared VS The Secret Her-vice was a very good match, but of course Chelsea made sure her team won. A Six Woman Tag of Zelina & KC Squared VS The Green Administration is certainly coming, to help give us Zelina VS Chelsea for the Women’s US Championship.

My Score: 8.7/10

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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 3.27.2025

Bad news out of the TNA management side, but this is a taped episode from El Paso! So we won’t see any of the fallout just yet!

Published

on

Now we all heard the news about the TNA change in hierarchy, and I…have no positive outlook on that. Delirious sucked at booking and creative in the dying days of ROH before it got bought as a B show. Dreamer having even more control is concerning because his ideas the last two years haven’t been much better.

Gail leaving makes more sense to me. Be it firing or a “you can’t quit, you’re fired” kind of situation, the Knockouts division is the worst it’s been in a long time and Gail was close with Scott D’Amore. So I don’t think Gail parting ways is as big of a problem since TNA has slowly been bleeding out with the Scott faithful.

Granted, I think the next few shows were already taped before the firing so things shouldn’t be completely unwatchable for at least a week or two. So let’s see where we’re going.

Ratings:

  • Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley vs Elegance Clique w/Personal Concierge: Ash wins via Rarefied Air – ** 1/4
  • Fir$t Cla$$ & Frankie Kazarian vs Laredo Kid, Octagon Jr & Chavo Guerrero Jr: Chavo wins via Gory Bomb into Frog Splash – *** 1/4
  • Jacy Jayne vs Masha Slamovich: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – ***
  • Eric Young w/two losers vs Ace Austin: Eric wins via Piledriver – ** 1/2
  • Seto & Mokuba – I mean – Nic Nemeth w/Ryan Nemeth vs Leon Slater: Nic wins via Danger Zone – *** 1/4

 

Results:

Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley vs Elegance Clique w/Personal Concierge

Ash and Gigi start off, Gigi with a little Rascalz after her first takedown. So both her and Wentz are making it obvious something’s going on between them, and I’m not mad at it. Good for my man Wentz.

Tatum and Gigi get some quick tandem offense in, Ash does manage to scurry off to a tag and Heather gets bent into a Pretzel. Some kind of Inverted Tarantula from Tatum, Gigi tags in, Bronco Buster on Heather followed by Kawada Kicks. Heather sells against the ropes, Gigi goes for a Hesitation Dropkick, but Concierge pulls her away so Gigi crashes and burns. Ref is distracted, Ash gets in some cheap shots and then the Elegant duo starts working over Gigi. A few quick tags, but once Heather comes in, Gigi fights out of the corner, gets the hot tag to Tatum. Tatum stacks up both Elegance members, Corner Stacked Crossbody, Butterfly Suplex and an Elbow Drop with some some flare. Tatum goes to the top rope, Heather pulls Gigi off the apron, Concierge shoves Tatum off the turnbuckle and Ash hits Rarefied Air for the win.

Post match the Elegance Clique wants to make their wish with the cake, they light the candles and Tatum and Gigi recover enough to do what we all expected last week, the cake in the face spot. Some…suggestive licking from both of our Hot Topic Hotties, so…no complaints here. 

Fir$t Cla$$ & Frankie Kazarian vs Laredo Kid, Octagon Jr & Chavo Guerrero Jr

Chavo and Kaz start since he’s King Petty, a quick rope run turns into a Headscissor from Chavo. Kaz recovers, they lock up, Kaz hits the Knee Lift during the lock up to tag out to KC. KC pulls off some athletic dodges, gloats a bit so Chavo waits, measures and nails a gorgeous Dropkick. Laredo comes in on fire, quick high spots that send KC bouncing around like HBK against Hulk. KC powders after sells the Satellite Takedown, AJ checks on him and we go to commercial.

Back from commercial, Octagon is lighting up KC’s chest with overhand chops, he perches, Sunset Headscissor Flip from corner to corner, KC tries to Back Drop him but Octagon does a headstand, kicks KC away and lays him out with a high spot. AJ gets on the apron to stop Octagon from running the ropes, the referee has a stroke or something because he stops paying attention and AJ pulls Octagon out of the ring and chucks him. KC with the Tope con Hilo and tag (tag ropes haven’t mattered since the 80s we all know this). So AJ is getting taunted by the crowd in Spanish, but he’s manhandling Octagon since it looks like a Child fighting their parent. AJ knocks off Chavo and Laredo, Laredo pops up and tries to get involved but he’s caught on the shoulders, Octagon goes for the Crossbody but gets caught and AJ pulls off “World’s Strongest Wasteland” but Chavo breaks up the pinfall. AJ throws Octagon into the corner, Tennessee Whiskey, and tag out to KC. KC hits a few moves, but starts to lose the momentum until he connects with a Super Kick. Simultaneous rope run into the Dueling Crossbodies, so we get the timely tag outs from both sides. Kaz and Laredo come in, Laredo lands like two moves before Kaz hits a Sole Butt, Lariat and eats his lunch. KC and Kaz try to double team Laredo but he fights out and the crowd is chanting for Chavo.

Chavo tags in, and he’s rocking KC, Saito Suplex, Low Bridge to AJ, Reverse the Whip so Chavo goes to the corner and perches, KC feeds, Chavo Backflips to safety, rolls through and lays out KC. Chavo is feeling himself, 3 Amigos start on KC but only 2, Kaz comes in and Chavo switches to Kaz for the Amigos, only 2 again before AJ breaks it up. AJ goes for the disrespect, but Chavo counters and hits the 3 Amigos on the biggest Culero. Aztec Warriors dive to stop AJ and Kaz, KC tries a Dirty Victory Roll but Chavo kicks out. GORY BOMB into FROG SPLASH!

Chavo looked fantastic and he’s the one in the best shape in the ring. I wouldn’t be mad at more Chavito. 

Jacy Jayne vs Masha Slamovich

I expect very little from this match.

Collar and Elbow, gator rolling for the first 30 seconds or so, then Jacy goes to some Hair Pull takedowns and does a little taunt before Masha pops back up and hits a Lariat into a Dive. Jacy sells it like she’s really hurt, even the ref tries to hold Masha back a little before Masha gets annoyed and just grabs her, Masha throws her in, looks for a Dive and Jacy sees it and powders. Masha tries to go back to the well for the Dive again but Jacy hits the Uppercut and then an Apron Run PK to drop Masha. Forearms rain down into a Foot Choke as Jacy continues to arrogantly play to the crowd. Another Foot Choke into a Cannonball, and near fall.

Masha gets space with a Sole Butt, tries to snap off Requiem but Jacy fights off, fights through a Sunset Flip another effective PK keeps Masha on her ass. Jacy looks for a kinda half-assed Camel Clutch as Masha is fighting up, but Jacy runs her into the corner, gets distracted mouthing off to the crowd, so Masha recovers, 5 Hole Up Kick sends Jacy into the corner, Yakuza Kick into Capo Kick for two. Requiem attempt again, but Jacy pushes off, a little back and forth, Masha tries a Backslide but Jacy gets away and hits a V-Trigger but only a 2 count. Jacy looks for the Discus Punch but Masha ducks it, they strike back and forth, but some dodges from both leave the exchange more even. Jacy with the Front Kick to the face sends Masha to the outside. Jacy wants another PK, but Masha blocks, Electric Chair Apron Snake Eyes. Masha throws her in, a PK into a near all. Requiem attempt 3, and thwarted from Jacy with a Superkick into a Neckbreaker. Senton misses from Jacy, Buzzsaw Kick, into Spinning Back Kick and Russian Death Device for the win.

Better than I expected, and Tessa attacks as soon as the bell rings. Xia Brookside and Lei Ying Li make the save after Tessa grabs the belt. 

Eric Young w/two losers vs Ace Austin

Ace and Eric tie up, World of Sport start but as soon as Ace starts to get away EY punches him in the face. Eric looks at the camera and says “This is what trust looks like”, turns his back on Ace, when Ace looks to attack, the loser duo cut him off. EY takes advantage of the weird situation, but Ace with some Up and Over quick spots, into an Inside Cradle and La Magistral. EY kicks out of the quick flash attempts, but eats a Dropkick, and Ace goes all Speed Kils on him with fast strikes and then a face buster for another near fall. Strike spot very early in the match, Ace gets the best of it, goes for a Tear Drop Suplex but EY sits on it to block, Headlocks to keep him close and then a snap Lariat into beatdown bully tactics. EY takes the referee’s attention and one of the nerds punch Ace in the face.

Eric tries to lean on Ace, but Ace fires, a few strikes, Click Click Boom, the Miz Seated Lariats in the corner, Mochizuki Triangle Kick connects! Only a 2 count, but Ace seems to be in control. Ace puts EY on the ropes, a few strikes to keep him rocked, wants a Superplex, but EY blocks, bites the face and Macho Elbow gets a very close two count. EY tries the Piledriver but Ace turns it into a Jacknife Cradle,Spinning Heel Kick, calls for The Fold, but the losers hop on the apron to distract, Ace attacks them. Ace tries to time out the Triangle Kick again, but Eric dodges, throws Ace head first through the buckles. As Ace stumbles out of the corner, Piledriver, and it’s over.

Oh look it’s the “we’ll hear from Joe Hendry” segment. Again, I’ve loved this gimmick since Day 1, even didn’t hate his What Culture Pro stuff, but there is such a thing as milking a cow too much. 

Elijah interrupts the whole “Who’s next” speech. When Elijah comes out he says he’s not the challenger and he believes in Joe. The crowd wants Elijah to turn on Hendry. Elijah pauses for a moment, and starts proving his friendship with stating his favorite color and a little “You Got a Friend in Me”. The crowd is into singing along and waving their cameras like Lighters to a 30 year old song. THANKFULLY Kaz breaks up the hug fest. Now he gets the “Culero” chant. 

Kaz pulls out a Bass…what the hell is this Jam Session. Kaz has to warm up so he plays “La Cucaracha” on the bass. Kaz…is a national treasure. Hendry kicks Kaz out of the ring after his Heelish and playfully racially charged song choices. Kaz tries to sow dissension, but Joe and Elijah pinball Kaz between them. Kaz slips a power move and tries to shove Elijah into Joe but Elijah puts the brakes on, a small tense moment. But then Joe and Elijah play “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey, Goodbye”…and that goes right into a commercial. Oddly…perfect.

Nic Nemeth w/Ryan Nemeth vs Leon Slater

Nic shoots the half immediately for a flash pinfall but Leon kicks out at one. Nic continues to keep things grounded with his amateur wrestling skills, and then does a little Dolph Ziggler show off. So Nic isn’t really taking this seriously, and Leon starts getting the best of things with an Arm Wringer, into drag, Shoulder Tackle and rope run as Nic tries to Leap Frog and Leon puts on the brakes and just shoves Nic on his ass. Nic gets annoyed, a few strikes, grinds his face along the ropes, but Leon keeps stringing some offense together, Back Handspring Elbow into his Corner con Hilo.

Ahh the classic formula of the commercial gives the heel the advantage, Twisting Suplex from Leon stops Nic’s offense momentum, right hand, Leon lifts Nic up for something, Nic slips it, kicks him in the gut, looks for the FameAsser, but Leon catches him into a Blue Thunder Bomb variation. Slater wants the Swanton 450, but Nic powders. Leon tries to adjust into a Dive, but Nic cuts him off, counter for counter and a FameAsser out of the counters for a two count. Nic starts the big brother tactics, bootwashes and arrogance, Slater fires, punches into a Yakuza Kick. Leon wants another Lethal Injection variant, but Nic catches him into a Rear Naked Choke. Slater tries to turn it into a pin so Nic breaks it. Leon wants a Leg Lariat but misses and gets unceremoniously dropped by Nic. Nic puts Leon up on the buckles, Superplex possibly but Slater counters, tries to collect himself for a move, but Nic falls into the ropes to crotch Leon, and finally hits the Superplex.

Twist of Slate from Leon, Swanton 450 but knees get up. Locomotion Cradles from both but they kick out, Ryan picks the ankle to trip up Leon just a touch and then Danger Zone ends the match.

Ryan starts the post match beatdown, but the Hardy’s music hits and they come down to the ring for the save. Matt challenges the Nemeths for Rebellion because they’re not medically cleared yet.

 

Overall Score: 6.5/10

Decent story motion, no match was offensive, and there was actually some solid match action for television standards. I don’t have a ton to complain about aside from the Knockouts Division is in a weird spot, and giving Hendry a lot of just talking and hollow payoff segments feels stupid. If we need to hear from him every week, give him a talk segment like Highlight Reel or something. Yes I know First Class just got The Penthouse, but if Hendry is going to talk more than wrestle, give him a talk segment for us to sink our teeth into.

There was the announcement that Xia, Lei Ying and Masha will face Tessa, Jacy and a mystery partner. So you gotta wonder if there’s going to be another NXT mercenary, a surprise return or if it’ll just be Rosemary since she’s got her issues with Xia. Also I just realized that Unbreakable is going to be on a Thursday, seemingly after iMPACT? I’m gonna have to see how they do it, because if there’s an Impact episode and 2-3 hour PLE…I do not want to be awake until 1am. People need to work, and I will be Unwakeable if things go that long.

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