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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (9/29/23)

King VS Emperor to determine a champion!

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One way or another, the US title belongs to the LWO!

Rey Mysterio defends his WWE United States Championship against friend and protege, Santos Escobar! But will things stay friendly between them?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Jimmy Uso w/ The Bloodline VS Karl Anderson; Jimmy wins.
  • Austin Theory w/ Grayson Waller VS Cameron Grimes; Theory wins.
  • WWE United States Championship: Rey Mysterio VS Santos Escobar; Rey wins and retains the title.
  • Charlotte Flair VS Bayley w/ Damage CTRL; Charlotte wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

The Bloodline is here!

Fans boo as Jimmy Uso, Solo Sikoa & Paul Heyman head to the ring. And Jimmy is definitely hyped over how he and Solo took down AJ Styles and John Cena, putting the tag team match at Fastlane into question. Heyman has the mic to introduce himself, but the fans keep on booing. His name isn’t “Boo,” he’s Paul! Heyman! And tonight, a rare  opportunity that he doesn’t have to do this into the phone but live to the world here from SmackDown, in the hell hole of Sacramento, California. “We ACKNOWLEDGE our Tribal Chief!” The Bloodline throws up the ones, and Heyman says, “And so do each and every single one of you!”

The fans boo, though some do raise the fingers. Heyman asks us why do they acknowledge Roman… Reigns? Because it is in Roman’s name that last week, the second greatest of all time, John Cena, took a beating at the hands of the Bloodline in a way Cena hasn’t taken in at least a decade. And to wit, Heyman calls our attention to the Bloodline version of the Zapruder Film. Heyman plays footage from just last week, where Cena was the only one who signed the contract to have a match for Fastlane. Cena hoped AJ Styles was going to be his partner, but then the Bloodline struck first and hospitalized AJ Styles.

And back to present, fans are booing but Jimmy’s almost cracking up. Heyman says not to get involved in Cena’s business, but a little birdie told Heyman that there are some transportation issues this evening. And while Cena is expected to make it here, you can’t see him because Cena is NOT here. But y’know who else ain’t here? AJ Styles! And why is that? Because he’s lying in a hospital bed, watching them on SmackDown and- Jimmy holds his hand out for the mic? Heyman says he wasn’t done but Jimmy snatches the mic. “Sacramento! The Bloodline is now in your city!” Heyman sighs while Jimmy raises the one.

Jimmy tells the Wise Man, you are too kind. The real reason Cena isn’t here tonight is because he’s scared! Scared of  one JIM USO! Jimmy says if Cena is smart, he’ll stay far, far away. If not, they’ll take care of him like they did the Phenomenal One! The one who built the house, place, face- KARL ANDERSON CLOBBERS SOLO! Then he TACKLES Jimmy! Jimmy gets up but Karl clotheslines him up and out! Fans fire up for Karl as he represents for The OC! Karl says he told Styles not to get in Bloodline business and now Styles is in the hospital. So now, this is OC business! Any one of them, get in the ring with him!

Fans fire up but Heyman has Solo stand down. Heyman whispers things to The Enforcer, and then Solo tells Jimmy to handle this or he’ll do it for him. Jimmy says he’s got this. Solo doesn’t return the high-five, but will Jimmy return fire on the Machine Gun?

 

Jimmy Uso w/ The Bloodline VS Karl Anderson!

SmackDown returns and the match is going as Karl bumps Jimmy off buckles! Then CHOPS! And fires off haymakers! The ref counts, Karl lets off but then stomps a mudhole! Karl lets off to tell Heyman & Solo they made this personal. Karl stands Jimmy up but Jimmy swings. Karl dodges to JUMP KICK! Karl says he told Styles not to get involved but too late now. Karl whips, Jimmy BOOTS back! Jimmy runs, but Karl gives him a SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Heyman is worried but Solo is stoic as Jimmy survives. Karl storms up on Jimmy, UPPERCUTS him to the corner, then UPPERCUTS again!

Karl brings Jimmy up to the top rope, ROCKS him with rights, then climbs. Solo steps forward and that distracts Karl, as well as the ref. Jimmy CLAWS Karl’s eyes! The ref misses it but fans boo as Jimmy rains down fists on Karl. Jimmy snarls, goes to a corner, and he SUPERKICKS Karl down! Jimmy goes to the corner, climbs up, and scowls at the booing fans before the USO SPLASH! Cover, Jimmy wins!

Winner: Jimmy Uso, by pinfall

Heyman is relieved and he whispers something more to Solo. Jimmy may be getting himself into trouble, but he’s also getting himself out, will this get Jimmy back in the Bloodline?

Wait, Karl isn’t done! He gets up to throw more hands with Jimmy! Solo storms in to hit the SAMOAN SPIKE! Solo roars as Karl is down, no back-up even possible with both Styles and Gallows hurt. Is the OC no longer a problem for The Bloodline? Wait, Michin is here! She SLAPS Jimmy right down! Fans are thunderous as she storms to the ring. Jimmy asks what the heck! Mia Yim packs a punch, will that knock some sense into Jimmy?

 

Backstage interview with Santos Escobar.

Cathy Kelley is with The Emperor of Lucha, and says that he faces his mentor and LWO teammate, Rey Mysterio. Where is his mind at tonight? Santos says his mind is focused, but his stomach has butterflies. But this match is about heart. And Santos has already said this is a dream match for him, and he has been working his entire life for it. Now, with the whole world watching, he has a chance to make the dream come true. He never gives up on his dreams, and he will fight for them, so Rey is in for the fight of his life. May the best man win. Will it be Emperor or King of Lucha that reigns as the United States Champion?

 

The Bloodline regroups backstage.

Jimmy is fuming and he yells at a production staff member just for looking at him. He asks another if they saw what happened, then just shoves the guy down! Jimmy storms off, Solo follows and Heyman has the staff relax. Then he puts in a call to Roman Reigns. What will The Tribal Chief have to say about Jimmy’s attitude?

 

It’s an all new Grayson Waller Effect.

The Aussie Icon, the Moment Maker, the Dynamite From Down Under is already in the ring on his set, and he says what a wild night already. Cena may be the greatest of all time, but he ain’t the greatest at being on time! Hah! But don’t worry, because Waller is here to save the show. Fans boo but Waller thanks them. Waller’s guests just keep getting bigger, and this is literal given the physical specimen. He has done everything in the WWE as a performer, but not as a talent scout. But that’s alright, he gets what he’s always been missing: the Waller rub! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the All Mighty Bobby Lashley!

Fans cheer as Lashley makes his way out and Waller does some push-ups so he looks at least a little bigger standing next to him. They shake hands and then sit at the desk. Waller says he wasn’t lying when the guests keep getting bigger, right? How does he fit into the suit? But Waller appreciates Lashley being on the show, especially after the week he’s had. His boys, the Street Profits had a devastating loss last week. Lashley says he made a mistake. He was looking for the next big thing, he thought the Profits had what it takes to do whatever they want, but seems not. Back to the drawing board, huh?

Wow, that must be hard for the Profits to hear. But yeah, if you’re looking for a tag team, they need to be willing to do whatever it takes. A team with unbridled charisma! A team that is undefeated! Maybe a team like Austin Theory & Grayson Waller! Lashley’s stare makes Waller slow his roll. Lashley knows all about Theory, that’s a pass. Yeah, but Theory’s changed! If you get to know him, he’s a good bloke! And- Wait! Here come the Street Profits! Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins came dressed to match Lashley, and Lashley seems rather upset and confused. The Profits step into the ring, mics in their hands.

Lashley steps to them, and he stops Dawkins before he gets started. No excuses, no reasons. If they want something out of Lashley, they need to prove it. Lashley goes to leave, and then the Profits look to each other. They storm out after Lashley and get up in his face! Lashley says he told them what to do. Now go do it. He keeps on moving, and Waller says how awkward. Hey, light the beam for the 153 million hit man, Austin Theory! Theory makes his entrance, walking past Lashley on the stage, and then continues down the ramp. He smirks at the Profits and goes to the steps, with Waller being the only one cheering.

But will it be A-Town Down as Theory faces Cameron Grimes? Or will SmackDown go TO~ THE~ MOON~?

Austin Theory w/ Grayson Waller VS Cameron Grimes!

SmackDown returns, Theory is busy looking at NXT’s Dragon Lee watching from the front row, and the bell rings. Theory turns around into a BOOT from Grimes! Grimes fires off KICKS, UPPERCUTS, and then CHOPS! Grimes whips, Theory reverses but Grimes CLOBBERS Theory! Grimes keeps moving and he CLOBBERS Theory again! Atomic drop, then KICK! Then a KICK, run, and SHOTGUN dropkick! Cover, ONE! Another cover, ONE! Theory scrambles, Grimes has the leg, and Grimes drags Theory back. Theory kicks free, Waller coaches Theory up and Theory ELBOWS Grimes! And throat chops!

Theory throws down clubbing hands while fans boo, but Theory shouts at everyone. Theory brings Grimes up, talks trash, but Grimes eggs him on! Grimes fires off fists, body shots, then backs Theory to a corner. Grimes whips, Theory reverses, then Theory runs in. Theory blocks a boot but Grimes ENZIGURIS! Grimes goes up, leaps, CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO! Theory hangs tough and Waller relaxes. Grimes aims, and he BUZZ- NO, Theory ducks! So Grimes backflips to deadlift GERMAN SUPLEX! Bridging cover, TWO! Theory survives but Grimes storms up on him in the corner. Grimes KICKS Theory against ropes!

Grimes runs, then he clotheslines Theory out of the ring! Grimes goes to the apron, and he PENALTY KICKS Theory down! Fans fire up with the Carolina Caveman as he takes it to Mr. ATL. Waller talks trash, though, and Grimes stares him down. Theory POSTS Grimes in the distraction! Waller laughs, Theory drags Grimes up and in, and then Theory slingshots. Somersault SHOTGUN! Grimes staggers into the fireman’s carry, A-TOWN DOWN! Cover, Theory wins!

Winner: Austin Theory, by pinfall

Waller’s a baller with that assist to his boy, and The Now comes out on top! Will these two look to take over SmackDown one win at a time? Theory also talks some trash on Dragon, then pie faces him! So Dragon hits back! Fans fire up but the ref keeps Theory back. Dragon is here as a guest, but Waller says Dragon can’t do nothing anyway. Will this duo hope Boy Wonder stays away from this brand?

 

Backstage interview with Rey Mysterio.

Kayla Braxton is with the US Champion and says earlier tonight, Santos said this wasn’t just a dream match, but the fight of their lives. What is Rey’s response? Rey says LWO is familia and will always be that. But he knows how hard Santos has worked to get here. Heck, Rey grew up watching Santos’ father, El Fantasma. So Rey has nothing but love and respect for Santos. But be careful what you wish for. Every time Rey steps in the ring, he expects the best of his opponent and brings the best in return. So Santos, like they say, this IS the fight of their lives! May the best man win. Rey seems to feel the same way as Santos, but will either man still feel good after taking a loss?

 

The Bloodline is beating up Ashante THEE Adonis?!

B-Fab shouts for Jimmy to stop but Jimmy stops when he says he’s stopping! Refs and producers rush in and Jimmy says okay, his bad, he’s done now. Adonis crawls away, but Solo is there! Jimmy says finish this, Solo! UREANGE through the table!! Hit Row suffers the wrath of The Bloodline, but when and where will it stop?

 

WWE United States Championship: Rey Mysterio VS Santos Escobar!

SmackDown returns as Zelina is ringside for both men, and Santos makes his entrance. Santos says hola to Dragon before getting in the ring. The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see who holds gold for the L W O!

The bell rings and fans fire up as the two tie up. They go around, Santos waistlocks but Rey works on an escape. Santos holds tight, they sit down, and Rey moves around. Rey fights up, jumps, but Santos holds on during the flying mare! Santos shifts to go for an abdominal stretch but Rey fights it to have a toehold. Fans rally and duel, Santos chinlocks but Rey pulls on the leg. Santos uses that to body scissor, and he rolls Rey to a cover, ONE! Rey is still stuck in the scissors but he moves around. Rey claws at the hold, Santos shifts and has the back mount to then roll Rey again. Rey slips free and the two stand off.

Fans cheer as Rey and Santos reset. Santos trips Rey, blocks the headscissor, but Rey gets up. Santos wrenches, wristlocks, but Rey flips through! Santos whips, Rey reverses but Santos reverses again. Rey is on the apron but he RAMS into Santos! Rey slingshots but Santos stops the rana to GAMANGIRI! Rey falls, Santos PLANCHAS! Down goes Rey at the ramp and Zelina is worried for both men as SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns again and Santos has Rey in a modified stretch. Rey endures, Santos shifts his grip, but Rey fights free. Santos has a hammerlock to keep Rey close, and Santos wrangles Rey down. Rey fights up, fans rally, and Rey jumps to hit that flying-mare! Fans fire up as Santos speeds things up and runs Rey over! Things keep moving, Rey dodges but Santos DROPKICKS him down! Cover, TWO! Fans rally as Rey hangs tough, and Zelina is again torn. She rallies the fans more for the LWO than for either man. Santos waistlocks, Rey switches, but Santos switches back. They go to ropes and Rey bucks the O’Conner.

Rey ducks ‘n’ dodges and tilt-o-whirls to RANA Santos outta the ring! Fans fire up and Rey builds speed, goes up the corner to PLANCHA! Down goes Santos! Fans fire up with Rey and he hears the ring count. Rey drags Santos up, puts him in at 6 of 10, and then climbs the corner. Santos stands, Rey SEATED SENTONS! Rey keeps moving, and he CLOBBERS Santos! Both men are down and fans rally up more. But wait, Jimmy and Solo are still wreaking havoc backstage? SAMOAN SPIKE for security! Jimmy says that guy won’t be Cena’s partner, either! Back to the ring, fans rally for “619! 619!” as Rey goes to ropes.

Santos stands, he rushes in to sunset flip, but Rey rolls through to BUZZSAW! Santos is dazed, Rey calls his shot and he drop toeholds Santos onto ropes! Rey dials it up as fans go wild, but Santos SUPERKICKS Rey outta the ring! Santos takes aim, builds speed, ARROW FROM HELL!! Direct hit at the ramp and down goes Rey! Santos catches his breath while he stands back up, and then he goes up the barriers? To MOONSAULT Rey on the ramp! Zelina is worried again but Santos puts Rey back in the ring. Rey staggers and goes to the far side but Santos takes aim. “This is Awesome!” as Santos spells it out, “L! W! O!”

Santos goes corner to corner, DOUBLE KNEES! Rey wobbles, but Santos puts him back in the corner. Santos goes again, DOUBLE KNEES! Santos hoists Rey up top, climbs up after him, but Rey HEADBUTTS! Rey fires forearms and he knocks Santos down! Santos stands up while Rey steadies himself, but Santos GAMANGIRIS first! Santos climbs up again, goes to the very top, and he whistles for the SUPER STEINER! Zelina couldn’t even watch that, worried for both men. Santos goes to the apron, to SLINGSHOT SPLASH! Cover, TWO!! Rey survives and Santos is a bit surprised as SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns yet again and Santos has Rey against ropes. Santos CHOPS, and fans “WOO~!” as Rey staggers. Santos whips, BOOTS, and then brings Rey around. Santos picks Rey up into a GORY ESPECIAL! Rey endures being bent back, and Santos even pulls on the arms! Fans rally, Rey fights against the hold, and pops free to arm-drag! Fans fire up as REy goes to a corner, and Santos runs in, only to be put on the apron! Santos GAMANGIRIS, Rey staggers, and then Santos fires up! Santos climbs, leaps, but Rey dodges and the crossbody flops! Rey lines up a shot, runs and springboards but then Santos dodges!

Rey and Santos are both down after those belly flops, and fans rally as both men rise up. Santos runs in, scoops Rey and hits a BACKBREAKER! Fans rally as Rey staggers up, but into a tilt-o-whirl torture rack! Santos runs around with Rey, then hits a RACK DROP! Cover, TWO!! Zelina is relieved again but Santos is surprised. Rey tells Santos to bring it on, there needs to be a winner. Santos storms up to CHOP! And whip, but Rey KICKS back! Rey runs to RAN- NO, Santos blocks that! Santos swings Rey up but Rey sunset flips! TWO!! Santos escapes and even Zelina is stunned! Fans fire up again, “This is Awesome!”

Rey runs in, Santos puts him on the apron but Rey ROCKS Santos first! Then Rey goes up a corner, brings Santos up to join him, and then adjusts position to fire off hands! Fans fire up as Rey calls the shot, but Santos drags Rey into a fireman’s carry! Rey fights with elbows, then pops up to SUPER RANA!! Fans are thunderous while Santos sits up in a daze! Rey DROPKICKS Santos onto ropes! Dial it up! 6 1 9 BLOCKED! Santos drags Rey into an Alabama Lift! But Rey holds the ropes for dear life! Rey then RANAS Santos back onto ropes, redials, and 619 HITS!!! Rey hurries up top, says hey to Eddie, and hit a FROG- NO!

Santos avoids the splash, CLUBS Rey, covers, TWO into the ghost pin! TWO!!! Both men escape by nanoseconds but Santos fireman’s carries! PHANTOM- TAKEDOWN! Rey has a spladle! REY WINS!!

Winner: Rey Mysterio, by pinfall (still WWE United States Champion)

And the greatest luchador of all time comes out the champion! Santos is stunned, but Rey offers him a handshake of respect. They are still familiar, aren’t they? WAIT! The Profits attack!! Dawkins & Ford mug Rey & Santos, this must be how they’re proving Lashley wrong! They hit Escobar with a BIG LARIAT! Fans boo but here comes Lashley! The All Mighty says that’s it! That’s what he wanted! But then here comes the rest of the LWO! Lashley CLOBBERS Wilde while Ford & Dawkins mug Cruz! But Dragon Lee wants to get in! Security keeps him back, he’s just here as a guest! So Wilde is fed to the REVELATION!

The fans boo but The All Mighty has his Profits! Will they soon run SmackDown with iron fists?

 

The LWO regroups.

They’ve all got icepacks in the medical trainer’s room, and Kayla walks in to congratulate Rey on the win. But before the team could celebrate the moment, they got jumped by The Profits. Santos says sorry, excuse him, but the Profits ruined the moment! Rey says they beat the Profits last week, and now Lashley and them act like they run SmackDown! LWO challenges Lashley & The Profits to a match at Fastlane! Let’s see how tough they are when it’s fair and square! What will happen when these factions go to war in Indianapolis?

 

WWE announces a huge signing!

Former AEW TBS Champion and rising star, JADE CARGILL, is now with WWE! She got 20 MILLION views on a video just for showing up at the Performance Center! Will a storm be coming for the WWE Women’s Division?

 

John Cena arrives backstage!

He pulls in rather fast and furious, and he storms right into the arena, that tag match contract in his hands! Will Cena find someone Jimmy & Solo haven’t destroyed to sign on the dotted line? Is there even anyone left?

 

Pretty Deadly has a video message.

“On July 14th, 2023, Elton prince suffered a devastating shoulder injury. Despite all odds, he is on the road to recovery.” It’s another rehab workout montage, but Elton is still in the wheelchair… Elton works on reaching out for hot tags, swinging chairs, ends up rolling downhill during a celebration, and can’t even poke eyes properly. But as he continues to work at it, he has the courage to stand up and tag in Kit! #YESBOY! #EltonStrong.

The Brawling Brutes are watching this.

Ridge Holland and Pete Dunne look at each other, and neither of them can even process this. Dunne feels maybe they should’ve broken Elton’s leg. The idiots. Will Elton & Kit hope they can stay far, far, far away from Northern Grit and the Bruiserweight?

 

Charlotte Flair VS Bayley w/ Damage CTRL!

The Queen did what she could to help The Empress of Tomorrow hold off the Evil Genius and her cohorts, but all that got them was a win for Iyo Sky and this rivalry rematch with the Role Model! Will Bayley make an example out of her fellow Horsewoman? Or will Charlotte make Bayley bow down?

SmackDown returns and Bayley makes her entrance, Iyo and Dakota right behind her. But then Charlotte has Bayley hold on so she can get a mic. Charlotte has a question for Bayley: What’s happened to you? Bayley is one of the Four Horsewomen, but now she’s just happy carrying Iyo’s bags. Bayley has become a stepping stone while Charlotte is still the measuring stick. And in the end, it doesn’t matter. Bayley is just in Charlotte’s way. She’ll beat Bayley tonight, and then challenge Iyo for the WWE Women’s Championship at Fastlane! Fans fire up for that, and the bell rings. Bayley CLOBBERS Charlotte!

Bayley fires off, all riled up after what Charlotte said. DMG CTRL cheers and high-fives Bayley. Bayley CHOPS Charlotte, bumps her off buckles, then stomps a mudhole in! Bayley ROCKS Charlotte, lets off, and brings Charlotte around to whip. But Charlotte reverses to send Bayley into the corner, and she CHOPS! Fans “WOO~!” and Charlotte CHOPS again! Charlotte whips, Bayley reverses but Charlotte goes up and out to BOOT Bayley down! Iyo swipes at Charlotte, then Bayley BLASTS Charlotte down! Bayley goes out to the apron, to then FLYING ELBOW Charlotte down! DMG CTRL is fired up as SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and Charlotte is up top, to CROSSBODY Bayley down! Fans fire up with Charlotte as she storms around. Bayley flounders to ropes, stands up, and Charlotte CHOPS her! And CHOPS her! And CHOPS her! And then CHOPS again! Fans fire up as Charlotte says one more, then CHOPS Bayley again! Charlotte swings, Bayley dodges but Charlotte scoops! FALL AWAY SLAM! Charlotte kips up and fans fire up again! Charlotte handsprings to LARIAT! Cover, TWO! Bayley is still in this but Charlotte knows she’s tough. Bayley bails out to the apron, Charlotte storms over, but Bayley HOTSHOTS!

Bayley slides in, waistlocks, but Charlotte bucks the O’Conner, to then trip Bayley! Bayley scrambles, Charlotte steps over to drop a knee on Bayley’s knee! Bayley goes to a corner and Charlotte GAMANGIRIS! Bayley staggers, but she BOOTS back! But then Charlotte BOOTS back! Cover, TWO! Charlotte keeps her cool while the fans rally up. Charlotte steps on Bayley and goes to the corner, then goes up the corner, only for Bayley to YANK her down! Bayley puts Charlotte in the ropes, throw hands, then hits a STOCK DROP! Shoutout to another of the Horsewomen! Bayley then SUNSET BOMBS Charlotte into buckles! Bayley drags Charlotte to a cover, TWO!

Bayley tells fans to shut up, don’t cheer for her! Dakota and Iyo cheer her on, though, and Bayley fires forearms on Charlotte! Bayley mocks the “WOO~!” then CHOPS! Bayley CHOPS Charlotte again and again, runs, but Charlotte SPEARS her down! Cover, Charlotte wins!!

Winner: Charlotte Flair, by pinfall

DMG CTRL can’t believe it, but their Role Model lost! The Queen is already wearing yellow ‘n’ block to match Fastlane’s logo, will she take that gold off Iyo? Bayley gets a mic to shout, “Cut the music, you idiots!” Bayley won’t let Charlotte just cut the line! Bayley vowed to end Charlotte, and that’s what DMG CTRL is gonna do! The three surround the ring, but here comes ASUKA! The Empress joins the Queen to run off their common enemies! Asuka gets a mic to shout “OI OI OI OI!” What do you idiots think you’re doing?! She won’t let them do whatever they want! Bayley says okay, they want a Triple Threat for the women’s title?! Then they’ve got it!!

Wait, what? Iyo is confused, but Bayley says this is totally what Asuka said. No, Iyo knows what Asuka said and it wasn’t that! But Bayley says this is so they can teach both Asuka and Charlotte a lesson! Bayley sticks her foot in Iyo’s mouth again, will the Evil Genius have to really work hard on a plan to survive Fastlane?

 

John Cena heads to the ring!

Sacramento fires up as Cena storms out, saying we’re getting serious tonight! Cena slides into the ring, contract still in hand. Cena also gets a mic, and he tells Sacramento, “I hear ya out there!” Sacramento chants for Cena and so he knows they hear him. And he knows that because last week, he said he was back to compete and that he wanted a match. The Bloodline didn’t take too kindly to that, though. They left Cena knocked out, but they also left him with the contract. This is the contract for a match with them at Fastlane. Yeah, a little lukewarm, because there’s a problem: Cena doesn’t have a partner.

Cena says tonight is very important, because now he has a choice to make. He could rip up the contract and act like this didn’t happen. Fans boo that idea. Or he could stand and fight. The fans like that! So what do you think the man who wears the words “Never Give Up” is gonna make? They cheer the second so he says that’s damn right! He will honor this contract! And if he doesn’t find a partner by Fastlane, then he will fight The Bloodline by himself in a 2v1 Handicap! But speaking of, here comes The Bloodline! Jimmy grins as he has the mic again. “Well, look who finally showed up.”

Cena’s out here talking about Fastlane? Did he not just see what The Bloodline’s been doing all night? They were sending messages! If you team with Cena, you get got by The Bloodline! Fans boo, but Jimmy goes to the apron to tell Cena, “You’re not making it to Fastlane!” But then Cena DECKS Jimmy! Solo stares Cena down, fans fire up, and Solo gets in the ring! Cena throws off the shirt because it is go time! Solo swings, misses, and Cena fireman’s carries, but Jimmy SUPERKICKS him! Flashbacks to last week, HIP ATTACK in the corner! Then Solo adds a HIP ATTACK in the corner! Then Jimmy whips Solo in for another HIP ATTACK!

Fans boo as Cena flops out of the ring. The Bloodline clears off the announce desk! They put Cena on it, and Jimmy raises the one. Jimmy goes up the steps but Solo stops him. Solo wants this one! Jimmy grins and nods and lets Solo climb. But L A KNIGHT is here!! Fans are thunderous as the Mega Star storms down, slides in, and he dodges Jimmy to BLAST Solo! And then he BLASTS Jimmy! Knight stomps a mudhole into Jimmy but Solo stops him! So Knight fires off haymakers! Solo TOSSES Knight, but misses the splash! JUMP NECKBREAKER! Jimmy is up, Knight scoops to POWERSLAM!

Fans fire up, and they spell it out, “L! A! KNIGHT! YEAH!” BIG elbow drop for Jimmy! Cena is back and he TOSSES Solo! Knight TOSSES Jimmy! Mega Star and Greatest of All Time look to each other, and Knight picks up the contract! Fans are electric as Knight signs his name! Cena can’t believe it, either! He has a tag partner for Fastlane? YEAH!! Will Cena and Knight show The Bloodline whose game is it? With EVERYBODY saying… L A KNIGHT, YEAH!!


My Thoughts:

An awesome episode of SmackDown, especially with how fired up the Sacramento crowd was for everything. Great stuff with Bloodline and such, taking logical yet still exciting turns. Karl Anderson going after The Bloodline was good, because as much as Karl didn’t want Styles getting involved, but he also wasn’t going to let The Bloodline get away with this. Though, Karl didn’t really accomplish much as he got cheated in that match. That slap from Mia was great, though. Then Jimmy & Solo going on a rampage backstage was a great way to show how Jimmy is drunk with power all because he thinks Roman will have his back. Roman most certainly won’t now that Jimmy’s actions have brought LA Knight into the story. Great save from Knight, and he will make a great team with Cena.

Great “main event” match from Charlotte VS Bayley, and that black ‘n’ yellow gear is pretty cool stuff from Charlotte. DMG CTRL of course tries to help Bayley but that backfires. And then I actually like that we’re going back to Bayley talking big and putting Iyo on the spot. The Triple Threat title match is going to be great, and is actually some mad genius thinking from Bayley. DMG CTRL can now legally interfere to make sure Iyo wins against Charlotte and Asuka, but I feel like this can also bring in Shotzi or even Bianca to counteract DMG CTRL. Either way, it’ll be some great stuff to really up things in the SmackDown Women’s Division.

Hilarious vignette from Pretty Deadly, and good response from Brawling Brutes. That feud will definitely start up again after Fastlane and give us a SmackDown contender for the Undisputed Tag Team Championships. Really good stuff out of the Grayson Waller Effect with Lashley putting the pressure on the Profits. Almost thought they were gonna jump Theory since Lashley doesn’t like Theory, but I guess that would make this faction Faces since Theory is Heel. It was nice to see Grimes back, though he does lose to Theory. Dragon Lee being here tonight makes me think he is called up to SmackDown after he screws Dominik Mysterio out of the North American title tomorrow night.

And after just an awesome US Championship match, the Profits instead go after the LWO, a logical move given the back and forth between the factions. LWO wants a Six Man Tag, but does that mean it’ll be Santos, Cruz & Wilde? Or is Rey going to take one of the spots? Either way it’ll be a good time but it feels like the All Mighty Profits are going to take that one to build their momentum towards their own title goals. Lashley VS Rey for the US Championship with Santos helping feels like the move. Maybe there’s tension created as Santos costs Rey, or as Rey says Santos can’t be bending rules just to win. It just feels like something’s going to/has to change in the group dynamic.

My Score: 8.9/10

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Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (3/28/25)

SmackDown in the UK!

Published

on

London calling to the champion crowns!

SmackDown brings gold to London as LA Knight defends his WWE US Championship and The Street Profits defend their tag team titles! Will the landscape change this close to WrestleMania?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • WWE Tag Team Championships: The Street Profits VS Pretty Deadly; The Profits win and retain the titles.
  • Kayden Carter & Katana Chance VS The Secret Her-vice w/ Chelsea Green; The Secret Her-vice wins.
  • WWE United States Championship: LA Knight VS Braun Strowman; Braun wins, by disqualification, and Knight retains the title.
  • Charlotte Flair VS Mia Yim w/ B-Fab; Charlotte wins.
  • Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre; McIntyre wins.
  • Jimmy Uso VS The Miz; Jimmy wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Cody Rhodes is here!

We follow The American Nightmare as walks to gorilla, then through the curtain, and London sings along with the song, “WHOA~ OH~!” Cody gets his pyro, says hello to fans along the ramp, and then we get the second “WHOA~ OH~!” and pyro. Cody goes to the ring, grabs a mic, then kneels down to kiss the WWE logo on the mat. The fans continue to sing along all the way to the end, “I AM MY KINGDOM!” The fans then cheer, and Cody holds up the belt to fire them up even more! The fans now sing for “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” and he soaks it in. The fans cheer again as Cody smiles, and he finally says, “So, London~! Whaddya wanna talk about?”

The fans chant “Let’s Go, Cena!” “CENA SUCKS!” Cody hears that dueling, and he smiles again. The song of “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” returns, then they cheer. Cody says, “At WrestleMania 41, I will be facing John Cena…” The fans boo, but Cody says, “I will be facing John Cena as he goes to break the record and win 17. But that is WrestleMania 41. In just a few nights, I will be standing face to face with John Cena in this very same city, in this very same arena.” The fans cheer that, but then here comes Randy Orton! Now the fans sing along with Voices as The Viper heads to the ring. Orton also high-fives fans before he joins Cody.

Orton grabs a mic, paces while the fans keep singing on their own, and then the fans cheer. Orton says he’s not really the sentimental type, but for Cody and for London, screw it. The fans chant “R K O! R K O!” and Orton tells Cody, “Look at you. Look at who you are now, the man you are now. Look at where he came from.” The fans cheer and sing “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” and Orton says he remembers a Cody in his early 20s, just breaking into the business. Cody was busting his ass harder than anyone else. He wasn’t exactly happy, and in fact, he was frustrated. But Cody was man enough, smart enough, to know he needed to grow, and that he couldn’t grow in the WWE.

Cody wasn’t exactly treated fairly in the WWE, so Cody left the WWE! That took some big ass balls to do what he did! Cody changed the business singlehandedly, and everyone in the back knows it. And Orton appreciates Cody for it. But then Cody came back, as they all knew one day he would. And the industry has been changed forever since the day Cody came back to the WWE. Cody is a bit teary eyed as Orton says Cody’s still the same guy, he just did what he set out to do, and he grew. Orton teases he would sing along with the fans, but the fans might leave. The fans again sing “CODY! CODY RHODES~!”

Orton asks if they remember when Cody Rhodes faced Seth Rollins in Hell in a Cell. The fans cheer because they do. Orton says that was impressive, and even impossible, as he started with a partially torn pec and then ended with a fully torn pec! His body changed all kinds of shades of purple that Orton’s never seen on a human body. The pain he must have been in. Cody persevered not just for himself. Maybe not even at all for Cody. It was not even for his family legacy; it was for each and every single fan out there! Then Cody went on to WrestleMania, beat Roman Reigns and finished the story!

But there’s always another story, isn’t there? And Cody’s right in the middle of one. Cody is in charge of his legacy, and it is a privilege for Orton to watch Cody take control of it. Ticket sales have been up, there’s more intrigue around the world, and listen to the people! It is 99.9% all because of Cody! The fans cheer that, and of course they sing. Orton says what he’s trying to say is a long-winded version of he respects Cody, loves him, and is very, very proud of him. The fans cheer that! Orton then says, “But… But now it is time for WrestleMania.” They both look to the sign, and Orton says he can guarantee Cody that Orton will kick Kevin Owens so hard in the head…!

Orton can just feel it already! He forgets how many days are left, but he can’t wait to remove Kevin’s head from his shoulders. And Orton knows Cody will enter champion, exit champion, but not before he beats the holy hell outta Cena all up and down the Vegas strip! But after all the smoke clears and the dust settles, just like Orton wants Number 17, there will come a time when Orton will want Number 15. But Orton won’t kick Cody in the balls like a coward. Orton will look Cody in the eye because he respects Cody, is proud of Cody, and sees him as an equal. Orton will look Cody in the eye and tell him that he’s coming for the title.

The fans cheer but wait! Drew McIntyre is here! The fans cheer the Scottish Terminator as he steps out on stage, mic in hand, and has a wry smile on his face as he looks at the ring. Drew waves as the fans now sing, “OH~ Drew McIntyre~!” Drew says, “Isn’t this wonderful? A couple of nepo babies having a love fest in the middle of the ring> It makes me absolutely sick. What’d you just say, Randy? if Cody gets through Cena at WrestleMania, you’re coming for that title? What exactly have you done since that big comeback to justify that title match? Aside be Randy Orton. The only big moment I can remember is you being on the shelf for months and months and months.

“People like to make jokes about it, but more people talk about my five-minute-45-second title reign than your entire comeback so far! So get to the back of the line, sunshine! As for you, Cody, you should’ve listened to me. But you shunned me. You attacked me. Everybody should’ve listened to me about John Cena, but they didn’t. And the next night, he kicked you right in the twig ‘n’ berries, proving me right as usual. And the main event of WrestleMania should be Cody Rhodes VS The UK’s only ever world champion, Drew McIntyre!” Fans do like that idea. But sadly, it’s not, because of that guyliner wearing Temu Undertaker, Damian Priest!

Drew wants to talk about what is happening. And what’s gonna happen! Drew steps up to the ring while fans sing for him again. Drew says it will not be Randy that takes the title from Cody, should he get through Cena; it’ll be McIntyre. The fans cheer, but Orton says they were trying to have a moment. Can Drew just cut the crap already? Drew says okay, sure. He’ll tell the truth, because that’s all he ever does. The truth is, Kevin might have a point! If those Voices are talking to Orton again, then they know Drew very, very well. And he’s thinking, “My God, Randy looks great! Absolutely jacked! On the outside.

On the inside, that back is hanging by a thread. And if Orton provokes McIntyre, McIntyre will break him. And as for Cody- Cody kicks Drew and UPPERCUTS him! The fans fire up, and Orton R- NO, Drew gets away! The fans boo, but the battlelines are drawn! Even if Cody makes it out of the frying pan that is Las Vegas, it’ll be into the fire that is these contenders waiting in line! Will the American Nightmare be ready for whoever comes for the crown?

 

WWE Tag Team Championships: The Street Profits VS Pretty Deadly!

Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins are finally golden again, but it’s time to put the titles on the line already! And while they’re ready for the grind, they’re up against the hometown heroes! Will the Profits still be up in the O2? Or will Kit Wilson & Elton Prince say #YESBOY to a new reign of their own?

The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see who really wants the smoke!

The teams sort out and Kit starts with Dawkins. They tie up, Dawkins headlocks, but Kit powers up and out. Dawkins runs Kit over, the fans fire up, and Dawkins fires hands on Kit in the corner! The fans rally for Pretty Deadly, Dawkins whips Kit to a corner, but Elton takes that bump! Kit CLOBBERS Dawkins, then tags Elton! Atomic drop into DROPKICK! Ford runs up, but into a DOUBLE HIP TOSS! Dawkins whips, Elton reverses, and then Elton hurdles so Kit can DDT! The fans fire up with Pretty Deadly while the Profits bail out. Pretty Deadly has control while SmackDown goes picture in picture.

Elton is right on Dawkins as he gets in, and UPPERCUTS him to the corner. Elton clinches Dawkins for another UPPERCUT! Tag to Kit, and Elton RAMS into Dawkins so Kit can UPPERCUT! Dawkins flops over, Kit drags him up to wrench the arm. Kit whips, Dawkins reverses, but Kit grabs ropes. Kit ELBOWS Dawkins, DECKS Ford, but Dawkins CLOBBERS Kit! The ref reprimands but Dawkins RAMS Kit into the corner again and again! The ref counts, Dawkins fires fast hands, then he tags in Ford. Ford says, “SUCK IT!” then he KICKS Kit! Ford scuffs Kit, then drags him to a cover, TWO!

Ford keeps Kit down with a facelock, but Kit endures the grind. Kit fights up, fires body shots, but Ford whips him away. Kit sunset flips! Ford rolls through, and PENALTY KICKS! Ford mocks Elton with the Scott Hall fingers, and the ref has to keep Elton back. Ford drags Kit up, tags Dawkins, and the Profits mug Kit. Dawkins CLUBS Kit down, then stalks him. Dawkins stays between Kit and Elton, then whips Kit into the Profits’ corner. CYCLONE- NO, Kit dodges! Ford tags in, he keeps Kit from Elton now, but Kit slips out of the suplex! Kit fakes high to go low, hot tag to Elton! Elton rallies with LARIAT after LARIAT!

Elton kicks and whips Ford to a corner, then UPPERCUTS! Elton whips the other way, UPPERCUTS again, and then does it again! Elton adds to the hattrick with a lift, Ford says a quick prayer before the SUPLEX! Ford flounders, gets to his feet, but Elton dodges to springboard and FLYING UPPERCUT! Cover, TWO! Ford stays in this, but Elton stays on him. SmackDown returns to single picture and fans rally for Pretty Deadly as Elton gives Ford a back suplex. Ford lands out, waistlocks, but Elton switches and shoves Ford. Ford CLOBBERS Elton in return! Ford is also dazed but he covers, ONE!

Kit reaches out, Elton and Ford both crawl, hot tags to Kit and Dawkins! The fans fire up as Dawkins wrenches Kit, underhooks and SILENCER! Dawkins Electric Chair Lifts Kit, Ford climbs, but Kit slips free! Kit shoves Dawkins into Ford! Ford falls to the floor, but Dawkins ENZIGIRIS Kit! Elton tags in, and Kit LARIATS Dawkins! Pretty Deadly combine for DRY MARTI-KNEES! Cover, TWO!! Dawkins survives and the Profits are a bit unsure of what to do next. Dawkins crawls to a corner, Elton runs up, but Dawkins dodges! Elton hits buckles and Dawkins TOSSES Kit, then Dawkins hits a SKY HIGH on Elton!

Dawkins hurries to tag Ford and Ford climbs up! But Kit pushes Elton out of the way! Kit takes FROM THE HEAVESN, and Elton ghost pins Ford! TWO!! Ford escapes, and he ROCKS Elton! Elton UPPERCUTS Ford! Dawkins sneaks a tag, Ford SUPERKICKS! POUNCE SAIDO COMBO!! Cover, KIT BREAKS IT! The fans fire up while all four men are down! The teams go to opposite ends, then they all stand up in the corners. They all roar, all run in, and Kit SPEARS Ford while Elton FLYING UPPERCUTS Dawkins!! London is thunderous, and Kit hurries to tag in! Pretty Deadly gets Dawkins up, for SPILT MILK!! Cover, FORD BREAKS IT!

The fans are shocked, as is Elton, but Ford saves this for his team! “This is Awesome!” as Ford runs up and Elton TOSSES him out! Now DRY MARTI- NO! Dawkins doesn’t accept the second serving, and he DUMPS Kit out! Kit skins the cat while Dawkins DECKS Elton! Dawkins catches Kit to an Electric Chair! Ford rises, DOOMSDAY BLOCKBUSTER!! Cover, Profits win!

Winners: The Street Profits, by pinfall (still WWE Tag Team Champions)

Pretty Deadly put up a heroic fight, but the hometown heroes could not capture the gold. Dawkins & Ford hold onto the gold, will this be the strongest the Profits have ever been?

 

Kayden & Katana talk with Zelina Vega.

Carter & Chance know La Muneca got screwed over by The Green Administration. Chelsea thinks she’s untouchable, but someone’s gonna stop them eventually. Well, speaking of, Alba Fyre leads the way in as she & Piper Niven “scope the perimeter.” There’s one small threat. They frisk the “miniscule” threat, but nothing they haven’t dealt with before. Chelsea struts in and says, “The Eagle has landed~!” Zelina says she is so glad the “Bootleg Men in Black” have crashed the party. Now, yeah, they all know she’s small. But clearly this small “threat” is a big threat to Chelsea’s title reign. Otherwise, it wouldn’t have taken all three of them to beat her.

KC Squared agree with that. How about tonight, we see what happens when the odds are even? Chelsea says that’s fine, because Agents P & A are ready. The Secret Her-vice has been given their next mission, but will they be able to crash the party? Or will the party crash them?

Kayden Carter & Katana Chance VS The Secret Her-vice!

SmackDown returns and The Green Administration makes their entrance. The teams sort out, Alba starts against Katana, and the two tie up. Alba KNEES low, CLUBS Katana down, then fireman’s carries. Katana fights free, tags Kayden, and they KICK, double whip, and then trip Alba up for the basement DROPKICK! Katana adds a slingshot SENTON, Kayden covers, TWO! Kayden tags Katana, they double whip Alba to a corner, then Kayden runs in. Alba DUMPS Kayden out, ROCKS Katana, and she tags Piper! Katana arm-drags Alba out, then goes out to run up. Kayden gives her a boost, Katana CROSSBODIES Alba down!

The fans fire up, but Piper goes up and out?! CANNONBALL and down goes KC Squared! Piper salutes Chelsea and SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns, Kayden rallies on Alba while the fans rally up. Kayden fires up, runs in and whips, but Alba reverses. Kayden wheelbarrows, victory rolls, then SUPERKICKS! Kayden fires up again but the fans are torn. Kayden runs in at Alba to BOOT WASH her against the ropes! Chelsea protests, Kayden kicks at her, then Kayden springboards for a LEG DROP! Cover, TWO! Alba survives, Kayden whips, but Alba KICKS back! Tag to Piper, but Kayden jackknife bridges Alba! The ref explains bout the tag, Piper runs up, but Kayden moves! The SENTON hits Alba! Piper panics, Kayden tags Katana!

Katana goes up onto Kayden’s shoulders, VICTORY ROLL LAUNCHER, but Piper catches Katana! Katana fires hands, BOOTS, and then hurries to go up again. Kayden ROCKS Piper, and fireman’s carries?! SAMOAN DROP! Kayden then gives Katana the boost, for the KEG STAND SPLASH!! Cover, ALBA BREAKS IT! Kayden runs up on Alba to BOOT her out! Katana gives Kayden the boost now, SUPER CROSSBODY onto Alba! Kayden hurries to tag back in, and she brings Piper up. Piper swings, Kayden dodges and SUPERKICKS! Katana goes up, Piper staggers over that way, but Chelsea distracts the ref!

The fans are torn as Alba grabs Katana. Katana kicks Alba down, chases Chelsea off, but Piper sends Kayden into her! Piper scoops to PIPER DRIVER!! Cover, Secret Her-vice wins!

Winner: The Secret Her-vice, by pinfall

The Women’s US Champion helps her team, and now they all mug Kayden & Katana! But here comes Zelina! Vega runs down the ramp, CLOBBERS Alba, and then she gets in the ring! Zelina tilt-o-whirl DDTS Piper! And she KNEES Alba off the apron! But Chelsea CLOBBERS Zelina! Chelsea fires up, the UK is oddly with her, and she chicken wings Zeina. But Zelina fights free to fire forearms and body shots! And a BACK ELBOW! Zelina reels Chelsea in, CODE- SUPERKICK from Alba! SENTON from Piper! The Green Administration is just too much for Zelina to fight against alone! But can she, Kayden & Katana find a way to turn things around?

 

WWE United States Championship: LA Knight VS Braun Strowman!

Did the Mega Star just get this title back from Shinsuke Nakamura? YEAH! Did he help the Monster of All Monsters fight off Solo Sikoa’s rouge bloodline? YEAH! And now, does he have to defend this title against the monster he just helped? YEAH!! But will Knight still reign this close to WrestleMania? Or will Braun #GetTheseHands back on a championship?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and it’s time for Knight’s biggest challenge, YEAH!

The bell rings and the fans rally up as the two circle. The two tie up, and Braun SHOVES Knight away. Knight comes back, Braun SHOVES him down again! Knight gets up, gets around, and he headlocks. Braun powers up to back suplex, but Knight lands out! Knight tries but Braun’s too big to suplex! Braun ELBOWS Knight, storms up on him, but Knight fires haymakers! Knight whips, Braun reverses, but Knight KICKS back! Knight runs, but Braun HIP TOSSES! Cover, TWO! Knight stays in this, but Braun brings him up. Braun puts Knight in a corner, CHOPS, then runs, for a SPLASH! Knight sputters along ropes, Braun keeps moving, but Knight DUMPS him out!

The fans fire up as Knight then WRECKS Braun with a dropkick! Knight keeps moving, and he WRECKS Braun again! The fans fire up with Knight, but then Braun BOOTS Knight down! The fans are torn but Braun stands tall as SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and Braun puts Knight back in the ring. The fans cheer as Knight KICKS Braun! Knight tries again, but Braun’s still too big to back suplex! Braun CLUBS Knight, then runs in at the corner. Knight BOOTS Braun, goes up, and FLYING BULLDOGS! Both men are down and the fans fire up! Knight and Braun rise back up, and Knight dodges a shot to JAB! Then he dodges to JAB! JAB! JAB! “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” But Braun KNEES low! Braun scoops, Knight slips free, and Knight RAMS Braun into buckles! Then the BACK SUPLEX! The fans fire up and Knight rises again! Knight spells it out, “L! A! KNIGHT! YEAH!” ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO!

Braun has plenty left in the tank but the fans rally for Knight. Knight stands Braun up to kick low, but Braun THROWS Knight away! Knight rises, and Braun LARIATS Knight up and out! The fans fire up as Braun rips the shirt! Braun gets on the track, and he runs in, STROWMAN EXPRESS MEETS JACOB FATU!! The Samoan Werewolf strikes Braun down!

Winner: Braun Strowman, by disqualification; LA Knight retains the title

The fans boo as Jacob now goes after Knight! He just ruined what was becoming a great match, but Jacob fires HEADBUTT after HEADBUTT on Braun! SAMOAN DROP onto the desk!! The desk doesn’t budge, but Braun might’ve been broken in half! The UK fires up for Fatu as he puts Braun in the ring! Jacob fires more HEADBUTTS, then HEADBUTTS away on Braun in the corner! The fans sing “OLE~ OLE OLE OLE, FATU~, FATU~!” Jacob runs corner to corner, but Knight kicks him first! Knight fires haymakers, “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” Jacob denies the BFT to POP-UP SAMOAN DROP! And then HIP ATTACK for Braun anyway!

Jacob keeps going, HIP ATTACK for Braun again! Jacob throws off his jacket, glares at Braun, and he runs in for a third HIP ATTACK! Braun flounders into the drop zone, so Jacob goes up, up, BEST MOONSAULT EVER! Direct hit on Braun, but the fans want that “ONE MORE TIME!” Jacob obliges, BEST MOONSAULT EVER! The Samoan Werewolf just tore up #OneBigSOB and LA Knight, will there be no stopping him from taking the United States Championship?

 

Backstage interview with Jimmy Uso.

Jackie Redmond is with #BigJim, and she says that while she knew WWE was going global this month, she did not know they’d get the slap heard ’round the world! Jimmy says he’d do it again, and he’ll slap Gunther as many times as he needs! Jimmy knows Jey is up in his own head, doubt is creeping on him. But just because Jey’s 0-3 against Gunther doesn’t mean Gunther’s unbeatable! The Ring General CAN be got! Jimmy’s going to Raw this Monday, he will bust Gunther’s ass, Jey will go to Mania and bust Gunther’s ass to become the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. And then they leave Las Vegas just like this: YEET!

Jimmy heads out, but then The Miz & Carmelo Hayes walk by. Miz is mocking Jimmy’s words, and he asks excuse me. Miz says it’s just funny that suddenly, Jimmy is a tough guy, even though for most of his career, he’s been “The Other Uso.” Doesn’t Jimmy get it? Jimmy and Jey are career sidekicks while Gunther is a main character. Gunther is the lead, neither Jimmy nor Jey can beat him. And here’s another thing: The Usos are just blips on the trailer that was Roman Reigns’ Bloodline. Melo says Jimmy & Jey are stuck outside the club, they can’t even get in.

Miz says as a former WWE Champion, a former WrestleMania main eventer, Jimmy will never know what it is to carry this industry. And after this year’s WrestleMania, neither will Jey. Oh, and by the way, if Jimmy ever slapped Miz like that, Jimmy would still be on the ground. Jimmy feints the slap and Miz freaks out. Jimmy says it may be him and Gunther on Monday, but he’ll holler at Aldis real quick so it can be Jimmy VS Miz here tonight. Yeah, YEET! Jimmy heads out, Melo says he thought Miz was gonna do something about the slap. Will Miz have to do something about running his mouth before he gets his teeth kicked in?

 

Solo Sikoa & Tama Tonga find Jacob Fatu backstage.

Solo asks Jacob what the Hell he was doing out there. Jacob goes out there alone without saying a thing to them? Jacob says he ain’t gotta say nothing to nobody! Matter fact, didn’t Solo not tap in with him last week? Tama says, “But Jacob,” only for Jacob to say, “But nothing, Tama!” Solo wants Jacob to lower his tone, but Jacob says okay. Let him be very clear with them. When it comes to Braun Strowman, Jacob WILL be the last man standing. Y’all better get in where you fit in, cuz that US title? Oh, Jacob’s bringing it home to the family. And he will do it with them, or without them! Yadada mean? Fatu heads out, is the Samoan Werewolf no longer following Solo?

 

Naomi speaks.

“I mean… How did we even get here? I don’t know. One thing that I do know is that I’ve always been the woman to do the right thing. I’ve always been the woman to do the right thing. So Bianca, what makes you think that my attack on Jade was anything different from me doing the right thing? When I sit here and I think about all that I’ve sacrificed, all that I’ve given, and that’s what really breaks my heart. Because through all of that, I’m made to be the bad one in this situation. I just don’t understand, how does Jade come in outta nowhere and take my place with you? I want you to ask yourself this, Bianca. Who inspired you? Hmm?

“Who’s inspired women over the last decade? Who’s always had your back from day one of you being here? Me. Not Jade. Hmm. But you know what? What I’ve learned through all of this: You teach people how to treat you. And I’m done with being treated as a third wheel. I’m done being pushed to the side, I’m done with being too nice, I’m done with being undervalued, underutilized, underappreciated! So moving forward, hmm… Moving forward, here’s my message to you, Jade. If you continue to be in my way, I strongly advise you to proceed with caution.” The Glow shows her dark side, but will the storm be moved?

 

Nick Aldis meets with Jade Cargill.

Speaking of, the SmackDown General Manager understands things have been rather difficult for her as of late. Jade says she’s been trying to get her hands on Naomi for the past few weeks, now where is she? No one has seen her all day, so as far as anyone knows, Naomi’s not here. Well, when Jade catches Naomi, it’s on sight. Jade leaves, B-Fab & Michin are there. They let her know that what Naomi did to her was straight trash, totally uncalled for behavior. And after Jade gets her hands on Naomi, she’ll handle that business. Jade agrees. Mia says they’ve all got business to handle. Jade’s got Naomi, and Mia’s gonna get Charlotte for messing with her girl, B.

B-Fab says Naomi’s got what’s coming to her: no sympathy, no regrets. Jade, just do what you gotta do. Oh, she will. Jade also wishes Mia luck tonight. Mia & B-Fab head out, will the Head Baddie in Charge make the Queen bow down in London?

 

The darkness approaches.

“You are as I was. As I am, you will be.” The shadows are starting to take shape, but is SmackDown about to fade to black?

 

Charlotte Flair VS Mia Yim w/ B-Fab!

The Queen looks down on everyone, so it’s no surprise that everyone else wants to take her down. Charlotte may have checked off B-Fab, but will the HBIC be a much different story? Or will Charlotte only sharpen her edge before facing Tiffany Stratton at WrestleMania?

WAIT! NAOMI ATTACKS B-FAB & MICHIN! Naomi drags Mia up for a FACEBUSTER! Naomi rains down fists, the ref reprimands and the fans boo, but Naomi tells the ref to back off. Naomi then BOOTS B-Fab off the apron! Naomi goes out after B-Fab to THRWO her into barriers! Naomi SLAPS B-Fab, tells her to stay down, but B-Fab gets up. Naomi fires hands, then she SMACKS B-Fab off the desk! Naomi rains down fists, but here comes Jade! Jade hurries down the ramp, she runs around the way, but Naomi runs away! Jade makes sure B-Fab is okay, but refs have to help her to the back. And what of Mia? Will she even be able to compete?

Charlotte makes her entrance, not really caring about what Naomi just did to Mia. But that means she also crosses paths with Jade. The fans like the look of this stare down, but Jade and Charlotte both let the other slide. Charlotte gets her pyro, and it seems she’ll still get her match. Will Mia be little more than an appetizer now?

The bell rings, and Charlotte BOOTS Mia down! Cover, TWO! Mia stays in this and the fans rally up. Charlotte just struts around while SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns, Charlotte has Mia down with a chinlock, but the fans rally up. Mia fights up, fires body shots, and she then blocks a shot to ROCK Charlotte! Mia ROCKS Charlotte again and again, then reels her in for a TORNADO DDT! The fans fire up as Mia hurries to cover, TWO! Mia drags Charlotte up, wrenches, but Charlotte says no to Da Feet! BIG back suplex! Mia stagger sup, Charlotte whips her, but Mia reverses! Charlotte goes up and out, BOOTS her away, then slingshots in and rolls Mia! Mia rolls through and BUZZSAWS! Mia runs corner to corner, but Charlotte avoids the cannonball!

Charlotte YAKUZA KICKS Mia down, then fires herself up! The fans “WOO~!” as Charlotte has Mia in the drop zone,. Charlotte steps on her, goes up the corner, but Mia gets underneath her! SIT-OUT POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! Charlotte survives and Mia is shocked! Mia nods as the fans rally back up, and she brings Charlotte up. But Charlotte ROCKS Mia! Mia SOBATS, PELES, and then runs to PENALTY KICK! Cover, TWO! Charlotte stays in this, Mia grows frustrated, but the fans continue to rally. Mia uses that energy to stay focused, and she stalks Charlotte to waistlock. But Charlotte ELBOWS her away!

Charlotte CHOPS, and CHOPS, and CHOSP! Charlotte winds up, and she CHOPS again! Mia sputters, but then she dodges the boot! Charlotte is caught, and Mia hits a SAIDO! Charlotte flounders to a corner, the fans rally behind Mia, and Mia runs up, CANNONBALL! Mia hurries to wrench and EAT- NO, Charlotte shoves Mia away! Charlotte gets under, back suplexes, but Mia lands out! EAT DA FEET!! Cover, ROPEBREAK!! Charlotte’s long legs help her survive by a literal foot! Mia is beside herself while Charlotte bails out. Mia storms after Charlotte, runs up, but Charlotte dodges! Mia’s kick hits steel steps!

Mia hobbles away, goes to the apron, but Charlotte CHOP BLOCKS the bad leg out! Charlotte grabs Mia’s leg, drops a KNEE on the knee, but fans chant, “We Want Tiffy!” Charlotte just steps through, FIGURE FOUR, into FIGURE EIGHT!! Mia taps, Charlotte wins!

Winner: Charlotte Flair, by submission

Charlotte got more of a fight out of Mia than expected, but she still won. Will The Queen be more than ready to reign again after WrestleMania?

 

Backstage interview with Tiffany Stratton.

Jackie Redmond is with the WWE Women’s Champion and says Charlotte certainly looks confident. Let’s be real, Charlotte came at Tiff pretty hard. It got a lot of people talking. Tiff says yes, people talk. And Charlotte sure loves to hear herself talk. Ten years into the business and Charlotte is still so insecure that she can’t let a “rookie” get a word out. But last week, Tiff did learn something: She learned that walking into WrestleMania, she isn’t the one with something to lose. Truth is, if Tiff loses, then she lost to the great Charlotte Flair, as just a 25-year-old rookie with one year into SmackDown.

But if Charlotte loses… Well, then she lost to an “undeserving, delusional, unoriginal, backflip doing, blonde-hair-having, little girl.” Did she get it all? And Tiff can’t wait to hear the look on Charlotte’s face when they hear the words, “And STILL!” Then maybe Charlotte will finally shut up for the sake of literally everyone! They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, and Tiff will make damn sure what stays is Charlotte’s massive ego. Tiff is walking into and out of Mania as the WWE Women’s Champion. Tootles! Tiff heads out, will it still be #TiffyTime after WrestleMania?

 

Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre!

The Viper told Cody how proud he was, but also how he wants the next shot after John Cena. The Scottish Terminator took offense to that, and basically said he is taking that shot instead. Will this match be an unofficial #1 contender’s match between these two former world champions?

SmackDown returns and McIntyre makes his entrance. The bell rings and the fans sing, “OH~, Drew McIntyre~!” and chant “R K O! R K O!” Drew and Orton circle, tie up, and they go around in a deadlock. Drew powers Orton to a corner, but Orton headlocks back. Drew powers up and out, then he runs Orton over! Orton hurries to ropes and Drew mockingly asks, “How’s the back feel, Randy?” Orton stands, he and Drew reset, and the fans duel some more. Drew calls for a knuckle lock, Orton accepts, but then Drew kicks low! Drew bumps Orton off buckles, then climbs up, but he panders for too long and Orton YANKS him down!

The fans fire up as Orton climbs now! Orton rains down fists, and the fans count to nine. Orton hops down, brings Drew around, and POSTS him for ten! Drew tumbles out of the ring, Orton goes out after him, and they’re by the desk! But Drew kicks Orton first and SMACKS him off the desk! Drew clears the desk, and he brings Orton up for the DESK- NO, Orton fights free! Orton turns things around, DESK BACK SUPLEX for Drew! The fans fire up while Orton leaves Drew behind, and SmackDown goes picture in picture.

Drew writhes on the floor, but Orton goes out to fetch him! Orton brings Drew around, UPPERCUTS him, then says one more time! DESK BACK SUPLEX! Drew writhes as that desk stays standing! Orton grins, refreshes the ring count, and then he storms up on Drew. Drew pokes Orton in the eye! Drew POSTS Orton now, then brings him around to RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP into barriers! Orton slumps down, and Drew also grits his teeth from that double-edged attack, but Drew fires up as he stands tall. Drew drags Orton up, puts him in the ring, then stalks Orton. Drew looms over Orton, and HIP DROPS him!

Orton sputters, Drew says one more time, and he winds up for the HIP DROP! Drew paces around Orton, says maybe one more time, and he pretends he can’t hear the fans. Drew winds up again, but Orton flips over! Hip drop meets kneecaps! And then Orton pokes Drew in the eyes! The ref reprimands but Orton rises up. Drew sputters and flounders, Orton ROCKS him with a right! Drew ROCKS Orton back! Drew storms up, Orton kicks low, but Drew fires another haymaker! The haymakers go back and forth, Orton gets the edge, but Drew GLASGOW KISS HEADBUTTS! Cover, TWO! Drew clamps onto Orton with an armlock!

SmackDown returns to single picture and the fans rally up. Orton fights up, pries at the chinbar, and then throws right hands! Drew CHOPS Orton in return! The fans “WOO~” and Drew winds up. Drew ROCKS Orton again, eggs him on, then CHOPS again! Drew shoves Orton to a corner, CHOPS again, then dares Orton to fight! Drew whips corner to corner, but Orton comes back to LARIAT! And LARIAT! Drew swings, Orton dodges, SNAP POWERSLAM! The fans fire up as Orton stalks Drew to the apron. Drew HOTSHOTS Orton first! Drew then runs in, but Orton puts him through the ropes!

The fans fire up as Orton has Drew for the DRAPING DDT! The fans fire up for Orton, and Orton hears those voices! Drew rises, but then Orton spots KEVIN OWENS! The Prizefighter is on the ramp, Orton glares at him, but then he turns around into a CLAYMORE!! Cover, DREW WINS!

Winner: Drew McIntyre, by pinfall

Kevin’s mere presence costs Orton, and now Drew has a huge win propelling him down the Road to WrestleMania! As for Orton, Kevin drags him out of the ring, SMACKS him off the desk, and then climbs up to join him! The fans boo but Kevin and his hot pink sneakers have Orton in position, but Orton slips free and TRIPS Kevin up! Kevin hits the desk then the floor! Orton staggers around, the fans rally behind him, and Orton stalks Kevin to the corner of the barriers. Orton lines up the shot! Orton runs in, but Kevin jumps over barriers! Security is there to stop Orton from pursuing, so Kevin runs away into the night!

The fans boo, but The Viper was that close! Will Orton be able to strike Kevin down and completely take him out?

 

Fire, thunder, smoke…

The force of nature is drawing ever closer. And he’s ready to fly! REY FENIX arrives next Friday Night SmackDown!

 

Jimmy Uso VS The Miz!

#BigJim gave Gunther a piece of his mind and a mark on his cheek, but it seems not everyone got the message. Will the Hollywood A-lister soon star in the Uso Penitentiary? Or will he prove Jimmy is NOT ready for a world champion level opponent?

The bell rings and the two tie up. Jimmy powers Miz to a corner, Miz turns things around, and the ref counts. Miz takes a swing, Jimmy ducks it to CHOP! And CHOP! Miz shoves Jimmy back, then runs up, but Jimmy TACKLES Miz! Jimmy rains down fists, Miz shoves him away to go to ropes, but Jimmy storms back up. Miz ELBOWS Jimmy away, then runs back up, only for Jimmy to LARIAT him down! The fans fire up while Jimmy storms up on Miz. Jimmy CHOPS Miz, has him in a corner, then whips corner to corner. Miz reverses, Jimmy goes up and over, then UPPERCUTS! Miz staggers back to ropes, but Jimmy is right on him.

Jimmy whips, Miz reverses and kitchen sink knees! Then basement BOOTS! The fans fire up, Miz scowls, and Miz KNEES Jimmy in the back again and again. Miz stalks Jimmy to the ropes now, and he CHOKES Jimmy! The ref counts, Miz runs, and Miz STRADDLE ATTACKS! The fans boo, but Miz runs again. Jimmy ducks the boot, then dodges a lariat! Jimmy runs up to LARIAT Miz up and out! The fans fire up and Jimmy builds speed, but Miz runs away! Jimmy smirks as he goes out the side, and UPPERCUTS Miz over the barriers! Jimmy makes sure Gunther knows he’s coming to get him, but SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and both men are down. Miz and Jimmy crawl, and Jimmy pounds the mat. The fans rally, Jimmy rises and runs up to LARIAT! And LARIAT! And mule kick! Jimmy then UPPERCUTS Miz, dodges a lariat, then SAMOAN DROPS! The fans fire up, Jimmy goes to the corner, “UCE! OH!” Jimmy runs in, but Miz puts him on the apron! Jimmy UPPERCUTS again! Jimmy climbs, leaps, but Miz gets under! Miz then waistlocks, ripcords, and MOVIE MAKER! Fans boo that blatant parody, but Miz full nelsons! Jimmy drops, victory rolls, TWO! Miz has the cover, TWO! Miz hurries to BASEMENT DDT! Cover, TWO!

The fans rally up as Jimmy survives! Miz stalks Jimmy, the fans rally up more, and Miz fires a KICK! And then another KICK! The fans say “YES! YES! YES!” to the It Kicks, but then Miz winds up. Jimmy ducks the buzzsaw, Miz blocks the superkick, but the DRAGON WHIP connects! Miz rebounds to B-MOVIE KNEE!! Cover, TWO!! The parodies don’t get it done, but Miz still has his original work to fall back on. The fans rally for “UCE! OH! UCE! OH!” Miz runs in, A-LIST LARIAT! Miz shoves Jimmy down, then springboards, but into a SUPERKICK! Jimmy hurries up top, for the USO SPLASH!! Cover, Jimmy wins!

Winner: Jimmy Uso, by pinfall

Miz may be a movie star, but Big Jim’s the one winning this main event! Jimmy then borrows Joe Tessitore’s headset to call out Gunther! He’s coming after dat ass on Monday! Gunther won’t be the ring general, he will be “Private Gunther,” and he will salute Big Jim! Uh, uh, YEET! Will Jimmy be the one making examples out of the World Heavyweight Champion? Or will everything come crashing down when Gunther gets his turn?

 

Drew McIntyre returns backstage.

And he says hey to Lewis Capaldi, the Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter, and also a big fan of Drew’s. They’re ready to have a good night in the pub, but Jackie Redmond walks over to congratulate him on the win tonight. She was hoping to get some thoughts on that victory and what happened with Orton and Kevin. Drew says it’s alright, this is what happens. He doesn’t care about anybody else’s business, but no one gets away with screwing him over. And when no one meddles in his business, he wins! Drew called out Priest, where is he? Priest doesn’t have the balls! So time to get mad in the pubs, everyone’s invited!

Drew turns the corner, but PRIEST IS THERE! Priest ROCKS Drew, SMACKS him off the door, then throws him into road cases! Priest ROCKS Drew, SMACKS him off the trunk of a car, and then again! Or since it’s London, “the boot.” The driver complains, but Priest BODY SLAMS that guy through a table! Drew comes back to KNEE Priest low, SMACK him off the trunk, and then off the side! They go to the hood, or bonnet for UK. Drew drags Priest up, but Priest CLAWS Drew’s eyes! Priest then sends Drew SOUTH OF HEAVEN through the windshield! Priest tells security that he’s done for now. Any more jokes, Drew? Didn’t think so! RIP, jackass!

Priest leaves, the producers hurry to help Drew, and Drew’s got glass in his eye! Will that glass help Drew see why he shouldn’t piss off the Punisher?

 

CM Punk heads to gorilla.

He has a security detail with him, and he passes by Drew writhing in pain. Punk chuckles, then continues on. Will his contract signing with Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins be just as brutal? We find out, after the break.

 

Nick Aldis is in the ring.

The SmackDown General Manager welcomes us back, and says it is his honor and privilege to be here in the O2 in London. Now, we all know why he and this table is here, and why additional security is here tonight. Tonight, we are here to sign a contract for a Triple Threat. Perhaps the biggest Triple Threat in the history of WrestleMania: Seth Rollins VS CM Punk VS Roman Reigns! The fans cheer all those names, and here comes the OTC! London puts the ones up, and Paul Heyman accompanies THE Tribal Chief out on stage. Roman raises his finger to the sky for the pyro, then security follows him to the ring.

SmackDown goes picture in picture as Roman’s entrance continues, and he raises his finger to the sky for the second round of pyro. Roman steps into the ring, SmackDown returns to single picture, and Heyman hands him a mic. The fans sing, “ROMAN! ROMAN REIGNS~!” Roman nods, the fans cheer, and now they chant, “O T C! O T C!” Roman tells London, “ACKNOWLEDGE ME!” The fans cheer again, and again chant, “O T C! O T C!” Roman smiles, but he sees the chairs are not to his liking. Heyman makes sure to put one at the head of the table. Heyman also dusts the chair off while Roman enjoys the singing of, “ROMAN! ROMAN REIGNS~!”

Roman takes a seat and says that was beautiful. The way they sing to their Tribal Chief, it’s just beautiful. The singing continues, and Heyman even joins in! Roman smiles, and he says that is what he’s talking about. That’s the OTC for you, baby! The biggest star on the planet! The OTC came here for two reasons. One: to be acknowledged; check! And two: to sign this contract. Roman does just that, and he says he’s checked both boxes. That means- “BURN IT DOWN!” Seth Rollins interrupts! The fans now sing, “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~!” Rollins struts out in his red wine paisley suit and conducts the O2 Choir all the way into the ring.

The fans cheer while Roman frowns, but Rollins takes the seat to Roman’s left. Rollins offers Heyman a chance to sing to this song, but Heyman frowns. Rollins chuckles, and he says the fans do have beautiful singing voices. He doesn’t know why Roman is in such a hurry to leave, though! This is their building! There’s a lot of history here! 12 years ago, they landed on the roof of this place in a helicopter! They came down those stairs over there, “ready to burn down the old guard!” They put the Undertaker down through the desk, and they were going to remake this company in their image!

Now don’t get him wrong, Rollins knows a lot has happened since then. They fought against each other, with each other, a little bit of love and a whole lot of hate. But Rollins dare says, as the fans continue to sing “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~,” that Rollins and Roman accomplished their mission. The fans start to chant for CM Punk, but Rollins tunes them out. Roman says, “We? We? You keep saying we. Our mission? We died a long time ago. It’s only been ME. You been here, but I done all the work! I’ve made this place what it is today! I took us to the level that we are here today! I made this place better than we found it!

“I’m the one that made us desirable to Netflix! I’m the one that took us into billion-dollar deals! Tell me, what have you done?” Rollins shouts, “I’ll tell you what I’ve done! YOU, YOU, YOU, it’s that mindset that keeps me having to screw you! You understand that? And your biggest mistake is not understanding the danger that’s right in front of us! The danger that’s right in front of you! You let the biggest snake in the world, CM Punk, into the garden! And you could’ve cut his head off at WarGames! But instead, you shook his hand. You could’ve let me finish him inside the cage at The Garden, but you didn’t. And now, I am left to do what I always do: Clean up your mess, again.”

Rollins drops his mic, picks up the pen, and signs his part. And now, here comes CM PUNK! The fans fire up and sing along with Cult of Personality, then join in on saying, “IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME~!” Punk goes to the ring, but as he grabs a mic, he goes up a corner, just like he did last Friday. “I have come here to chew bubblegum and sign a contract. And I’m all outta bubblegum.” The fans cheer the Rowdy Roddy Piper reference, and Punk hops down to take his seat on Roman’s right. Punk looks over said contract, but Roman asks if Punk needs a highlighter or something. What’s he doing? Just go to page four, clause five.

Punk does as Roman says, but Roman says Punk needs to hurry, this is precious TV time. Punk reads the segment, Roman tells Heyman to just smarten Punk up. Heyman tells Punk he knows what Punk is looking for. It is in there. They’re closing the show at WrestleMania. The fans go wild hearing that! Heyman tells Punk that he gets to live his dream of dreams. CM Punk will be a WrestleMania main eventer! The fans cheer and while Roman smiles, Rollins is furious. Roman says, “One man’s dream is another man’s favor! CHECK!” Wait, this was the favor? Rollins says no! This is not something to laugh at, and Punk does not get to tear up!

Punk is NOT deserving! He does NOT deserve this! The fans boo but Rollins continues to throw a fit! Main eventing WrestleMania is SACRED, the most important thing in the world to Rollins! More than anything! Except the fact that Punk NEVER gets to main event! This is all Roman’s fault! This is all Heyman’s fault! Rollins THROWS his mic down, paces angrily, but Punk picks up the mic. The fans cheer Punk on again, and Punk stands to thank London, to thank Chicago, to thank Louisville, Kentucky, and to thank ALL the fans. As corny as it sounds, he thanks the WWE Universe who stood by him and chanted his name for TEN LONG YEARS!

Roman says hold on, hold on. Punk shouldn’t be thanking the fans! He should be thanking the Tribal Chief! It is because of Roman that Punk gets this honor! So please, take this moment, close the show with that acknowledgement! Do this the right way. The credits are already rolling as Punk kneels before Roman!? Punk smiles, and he thanks “My Tribal Chief, the holder of the ula fala, the Head of the Table, the… Big Dog? Thank you for allowing a kid from Chicago to be graced by your presence. Thank you, My Tribal Chief, for allowing me to stand in your ring. And thank you so much. Thank you, Roman Reigns, so very much.

“But because of you, I will see you in the main event of WrestleMania.” And again, Rollins is agonizing over this. Punk finishes putting his signature on the contract, and London tells him, “You Deserve It!” Punk thanks Roman again, and then says, “But that’s not the favor that I’m owed.” WHAT?! Roman looks at Heyman and Heyman can’t look him in the eye! If getting this Triple Threat made into the main event isn’t the gift of the Wise Man, then what is?!


My Thoughts:

A good SmackDown, but they pulled off quite the paradox. They made it feel like they were struggling to fill three hours, yet they also filled the show to the point where that contract signing segment was almost bleeding over the three hour mark. Ironically, part of the problem was just how excited the London crowd was for this. The superstars still wanted to enjoy the chants and songs, but that’s time SmackDown doesn’t have to spare. It made the opening promo from Cody, Orton and Drew take longer, and it kinda did the same to the contract signing at the end. Even so, we still got a very good promo, and good stuff to set up Orton VS McIntyre.

Orton VS McIntyre was a great match, but of course Kevin costs Orton. McIntyre gets his win, Kevin and Orton have a bit of a brawl, but of course Kevin ends up on the losing end and runs off. McIntyre’s trash talk also comes back to bite him as Priest gets the better of him in their brawl. Here’s hoping Drew didn’t actually get glass in his eye, but that being the thing in kayfabe can be some good stuff. I can imagine McIntyre with an eyepatch, and he takes it off at the opportune time to get the better of Priest in their match. Also what a fitting choice for Punk to be passing by Drew suffering because of real glass.

Very good title matches tonight, but of course the status quo was kept. Pretty Deadly gets to look great here in London, but the Profits only just got the belts, they’re not going to be transitional champions like that. And Knight VS Braun was really good stuff, but honestly, Jacob Fatu going after them both should’ve been a given. Jacob also had a great promo with Solo & Tama to start adding to that divide between Jacob and Solo. I would hope Solo doesn’t screw Jacob out of the US Championship, but it feels like he will as Solo won’t stand for Jacob defying his authority, even though Solo’s been trying to make Jacob the champion all along.

Very good stuff from Jimmy Uso tonight, from his promo with #MeloDon’tMiz and then a great match with Miz. Their match ended up the de facto main event match, so that’s also great for both guys. Great win for Jimmy, but that’s likely because Jimmy is losing big time to Gunther on Monday. And it might just be me, but it feels like only now is the Jey VS Gunther build really moving, largely in part because Jimmy got involved. Jimmy’s promo after his match is something along the lines of what Jey should be saying. But I suppose as brothers, Jimmy is the one who knows Jey best and knows what Jey needs to be motivated again. And seeing Jimmy get beat up by Gunther will definitely motivate Jey…

Good final vignettes for Rey Fenix and Aleister Black. I’m a little surprised they confirmed Rey Fenix is showing up next week, and that they confirmed who Rey Fenix even is. I believe commentary confirmed Rey Fenix is Penta’s real brother, even namedropped “Lucha Brothers,” but all that is still surprising considering Fenix is going to start on SmackDown. Aleister’s vignette (at least I am fairly confident it’s his) was giving us glimpses of his silhouette, but I think there was usage of AI in the snake imagery. It was fine they did it for El Grande Americano because that is all trolling, but they really should try and do things the old fashioned way of photoshop and stock imagery.

Very good stuff in the Women’s Division tonight, though the WWE Women’s Championship portion was the weaker. Naomi’s got a great Heel persona going, her promo was great, and her going after B-Fab & Michin over them supporting Jade was a great detail. Jade runs Naomi off, helps B-Fab, but there was no helping Michin in being fed to Charlotte. Tiffany had a decent promo, and it does fit how Charlotte kept her from speaking so she finally gets things out here. It didn’t really add that much, though, but they already gave us a great brawl so not sure what more they can give.

KC Squared VS The Secret Her-vice was a very good match, but of course Chelsea made sure her team won. A Six Woman Tag of Zelina & KC Squared VS The Green Administration is certainly coming, to help give us Zelina VS Chelsea for the Women’s US Championship.

My Score: 8.7/10

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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 3.27.2025

Bad news out of the TNA management side, but this is a taped episode from El Paso! So we won’t see any of the fallout just yet!

Published

on

Now we all heard the news about the TNA change in hierarchy, and I…have no positive outlook on that. Delirious sucked at booking and creative in the dying days of ROH before it got bought as a B show. Dreamer having even more control is concerning because his ideas the last two years haven’t been much better.

Gail leaving makes more sense to me. Be it firing or a “you can’t quit, you’re fired” kind of situation, the Knockouts division is the worst it’s been in a long time and Gail was close with Scott D’Amore. So I don’t think Gail parting ways is as big of a problem since TNA has slowly been bleeding out with the Scott faithful.

Granted, I think the next few shows were already taped before the firing so things shouldn’t be completely unwatchable for at least a week or two. So let’s see where we’re going.

Ratings:

  • Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley vs Elegance Clique w/Personal Concierge: Ash wins via Rarefied Air – ** 1/4
  • Fir$t Cla$$ & Frankie Kazarian vs Laredo Kid, Octagon Jr & Chavo Guerrero Jr: Chavo wins via Gory Bomb into Frog Splash – *** 1/4
  • Jacy Jayne vs Masha Slamovich: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – ***
  • Eric Young w/two losers vs Ace Austin: Eric wins via Piledriver – ** 1/2
  • Seto & Mokuba – I mean – Nic Nemeth w/Ryan Nemeth vs Leon Slater: Nic wins via Danger Zone – *** 1/4

 

Results:

Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley vs Elegance Clique w/Personal Concierge

Ash and Gigi start off, Gigi with a little Rascalz after her first takedown. So both her and Wentz are making it obvious something’s going on between them, and I’m not mad at it. Good for my man Wentz.

Tatum and Gigi get some quick tandem offense in, Ash does manage to scurry off to a tag and Heather gets bent into a Pretzel. Some kind of Inverted Tarantula from Tatum, Gigi tags in, Bronco Buster on Heather followed by Kawada Kicks. Heather sells against the ropes, Gigi goes for a Hesitation Dropkick, but Concierge pulls her away so Gigi crashes and burns. Ref is distracted, Ash gets in some cheap shots and then the Elegant duo starts working over Gigi. A few quick tags, but once Heather comes in, Gigi fights out of the corner, gets the hot tag to Tatum. Tatum stacks up both Elegance members, Corner Stacked Crossbody, Butterfly Suplex and an Elbow Drop with some some flare. Tatum goes to the top rope, Heather pulls Gigi off the apron, Concierge shoves Tatum off the turnbuckle and Ash hits Rarefied Air for the win.

Post match the Elegance Clique wants to make their wish with the cake, they light the candles and Tatum and Gigi recover enough to do what we all expected last week, the cake in the face spot. Some…suggestive licking from both of our Hot Topic Hotties, so…no complaints here. 

Fir$t Cla$$ & Frankie Kazarian vs Laredo Kid, Octagon Jr & Chavo Guerrero Jr

Chavo and Kaz start since he’s King Petty, a quick rope run turns into a Headscissor from Chavo. Kaz recovers, they lock up, Kaz hits the Knee Lift during the lock up to tag out to KC. KC pulls off some athletic dodges, gloats a bit so Chavo waits, measures and nails a gorgeous Dropkick. Laredo comes in on fire, quick high spots that send KC bouncing around like HBK against Hulk. KC powders after sells the Satellite Takedown, AJ checks on him and we go to commercial.

Back from commercial, Octagon is lighting up KC’s chest with overhand chops, he perches, Sunset Headscissor Flip from corner to corner, KC tries to Back Drop him but Octagon does a headstand, kicks KC away and lays him out with a high spot. AJ gets on the apron to stop Octagon from running the ropes, the referee has a stroke or something because he stops paying attention and AJ pulls Octagon out of the ring and chucks him. KC with the Tope con Hilo and tag (tag ropes haven’t mattered since the 80s we all know this). So AJ is getting taunted by the crowd in Spanish, but he’s manhandling Octagon since it looks like a Child fighting their parent. AJ knocks off Chavo and Laredo, Laredo pops up and tries to get involved but he’s caught on the shoulders, Octagon goes for the Crossbody but gets caught and AJ pulls off “World’s Strongest Wasteland” but Chavo breaks up the pinfall. AJ throws Octagon into the corner, Tennessee Whiskey, and tag out to KC. KC hits a few moves, but starts to lose the momentum until he connects with a Super Kick. Simultaneous rope run into the Dueling Crossbodies, so we get the timely tag outs from both sides. Kaz and Laredo come in, Laredo lands like two moves before Kaz hits a Sole Butt, Lariat and eats his lunch. KC and Kaz try to double team Laredo but he fights out and the crowd is chanting for Chavo.

Chavo tags in, and he’s rocking KC, Saito Suplex, Low Bridge to AJ, Reverse the Whip so Chavo goes to the corner and perches, KC feeds, Chavo Backflips to safety, rolls through and lays out KC. Chavo is feeling himself, 3 Amigos start on KC but only 2, Kaz comes in and Chavo switches to Kaz for the Amigos, only 2 again before AJ breaks it up. AJ goes for the disrespect, but Chavo counters and hits the 3 Amigos on the biggest Culero. Aztec Warriors dive to stop AJ and Kaz, KC tries a Dirty Victory Roll but Chavo kicks out. GORY BOMB into FROG SPLASH!

Chavo looked fantastic and he’s the one in the best shape in the ring. I wouldn’t be mad at more Chavito. 

Jacy Jayne vs Masha Slamovich

I expect very little from this match.

Collar and Elbow, gator rolling for the first 30 seconds or so, then Jacy goes to some Hair Pull takedowns and does a little taunt before Masha pops back up and hits a Lariat into a Dive. Jacy sells it like she’s really hurt, even the ref tries to hold Masha back a little before Masha gets annoyed and just grabs her, Masha throws her in, looks for a Dive and Jacy sees it and powders. Masha tries to go back to the well for the Dive again but Jacy hits the Uppercut and then an Apron Run PK to drop Masha. Forearms rain down into a Foot Choke as Jacy continues to arrogantly play to the crowd. Another Foot Choke into a Cannonball, and near fall.

Masha gets space with a Sole Butt, tries to snap off Requiem but Jacy fights off, fights through a Sunset Flip another effective PK keeps Masha on her ass. Jacy looks for a kinda half-assed Camel Clutch as Masha is fighting up, but Jacy runs her into the corner, gets distracted mouthing off to the crowd, so Masha recovers, 5 Hole Up Kick sends Jacy into the corner, Yakuza Kick into Capo Kick for two. Requiem attempt again, but Jacy pushes off, a little back and forth, Masha tries a Backslide but Jacy gets away and hits a V-Trigger but only a 2 count. Jacy looks for the Discus Punch but Masha ducks it, they strike back and forth, but some dodges from both leave the exchange more even. Jacy with the Front Kick to the face sends Masha to the outside. Jacy wants another PK, but Masha blocks, Electric Chair Apron Snake Eyes. Masha throws her in, a PK into a near all. Requiem attempt 3, and thwarted from Jacy with a Superkick into a Neckbreaker. Senton misses from Jacy, Buzzsaw Kick, into Spinning Back Kick and Russian Death Device for the win.

Better than I expected, and Tessa attacks as soon as the bell rings. Xia Brookside and Lei Ying Li make the save after Tessa grabs the belt. 

Eric Young w/two losers vs Ace Austin

Ace and Eric tie up, World of Sport start but as soon as Ace starts to get away EY punches him in the face. Eric looks at the camera and says “This is what trust looks like”, turns his back on Ace, when Ace looks to attack, the loser duo cut him off. EY takes advantage of the weird situation, but Ace with some Up and Over quick spots, into an Inside Cradle and La Magistral. EY kicks out of the quick flash attempts, but eats a Dropkick, and Ace goes all Speed Kils on him with fast strikes and then a face buster for another near fall. Strike spot very early in the match, Ace gets the best of it, goes for a Tear Drop Suplex but EY sits on it to block, Headlocks to keep him close and then a snap Lariat into beatdown bully tactics. EY takes the referee’s attention and one of the nerds punch Ace in the face.

Eric tries to lean on Ace, but Ace fires, a few strikes, Click Click Boom, the Miz Seated Lariats in the corner, Mochizuki Triangle Kick connects! Only a 2 count, but Ace seems to be in control. Ace puts EY on the ropes, a few strikes to keep him rocked, wants a Superplex, but EY blocks, bites the face and Macho Elbow gets a very close two count. EY tries the Piledriver but Ace turns it into a Jacknife Cradle,Spinning Heel Kick, calls for The Fold, but the losers hop on the apron to distract, Ace attacks them. Ace tries to time out the Triangle Kick again, but Eric dodges, throws Ace head first through the buckles. As Ace stumbles out of the corner, Piledriver, and it’s over.

Oh look it’s the “we’ll hear from Joe Hendry” segment. Again, I’ve loved this gimmick since Day 1, even didn’t hate his What Culture Pro stuff, but there is such a thing as milking a cow too much. 

Elijah interrupts the whole “Who’s next” speech. When Elijah comes out he says he’s not the challenger and he believes in Joe. The crowd wants Elijah to turn on Hendry. Elijah pauses for a moment, and starts proving his friendship with stating his favorite color and a little “You Got a Friend in Me”. The crowd is into singing along and waving their cameras like Lighters to a 30 year old song. THANKFULLY Kaz breaks up the hug fest. Now he gets the “Culero” chant. 

Kaz pulls out a Bass…what the hell is this Jam Session. Kaz has to warm up so he plays “La Cucaracha” on the bass. Kaz…is a national treasure. Hendry kicks Kaz out of the ring after his Heelish and playfully racially charged song choices. Kaz tries to sow dissension, but Joe and Elijah pinball Kaz between them. Kaz slips a power move and tries to shove Elijah into Joe but Elijah puts the brakes on, a small tense moment. But then Joe and Elijah play “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey, Goodbye”…and that goes right into a commercial. Oddly…perfect.

Nic Nemeth w/Ryan Nemeth vs Leon Slater

Nic shoots the half immediately for a flash pinfall but Leon kicks out at one. Nic continues to keep things grounded with his amateur wrestling skills, and then does a little Dolph Ziggler show off. So Nic isn’t really taking this seriously, and Leon starts getting the best of things with an Arm Wringer, into drag, Shoulder Tackle and rope run as Nic tries to Leap Frog and Leon puts on the brakes and just shoves Nic on his ass. Nic gets annoyed, a few strikes, grinds his face along the ropes, but Leon keeps stringing some offense together, Back Handspring Elbow into his Corner con Hilo.

Ahh the classic formula of the commercial gives the heel the advantage, Twisting Suplex from Leon stops Nic’s offense momentum, right hand, Leon lifts Nic up for something, Nic slips it, kicks him in the gut, looks for the FameAsser, but Leon catches him into a Blue Thunder Bomb variation. Slater wants the Swanton 450, but Nic powders. Leon tries to adjust into a Dive, but Nic cuts him off, counter for counter and a FameAsser out of the counters for a two count. Nic starts the big brother tactics, bootwashes and arrogance, Slater fires, punches into a Yakuza Kick. Leon wants another Lethal Injection variant, but Nic catches him into a Rear Naked Choke. Slater tries to turn it into a pin so Nic breaks it. Leon wants a Leg Lariat but misses and gets unceremoniously dropped by Nic. Nic puts Leon up on the buckles, Superplex possibly but Slater counters, tries to collect himself for a move, but Nic falls into the ropes to crotch Leon, and finally hits the Superplex.

Twist of Slate from Leon, Swanton 450 but knees get up. Locomotion Cradles from both but they kick out, Ryan picks the ankle to trip up Leon just a touch and then Danger Zone ends the match.

Ryan starts the post match beatdown, but the Hardy’s music hits and they come down to the ring for the save. Matt challenges the Nemeths for Rebellion because they’re not medically cleared yet.

 

Overall Score: 6.5/10

Decent story motion, no match was offensive, and there was actually some solid match action for television standards. I don’t have a ton to complain about aside from the Knockouts Division is in a weird spot, and giving Hendry a lot of just talking and hollow payoff segments feels stupid. If we need to hear from him every week, give him a talk segment like Highlight Reel or something. Yes I know First Class just got The Penthouse, but if Hendry is going to talk more than wrestle, give him a talk segment for us to sink our teeth into.

There was the announcement that Xia, Lei Ying and Masha will face Tessa, Jacy and a mystery partner. So you gotta wonder if there’s going to be another NXT mercenary, a surprise return or if it’ll just be Rosemary since she’s got her issues with Xia. Also I just realized that Unbreakable is going to be on a Thursday, seemingly after iMPACT? I’m gonna have to see how they do it, because if there’s an Impact episode and 2-3 hour PLE…I do not want to be awake until 1am. People need to work, and I will be Unwakeable if things go that long.

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