Coverage
Mitchell’s NJPW New Japan Road Results & Report! (11/17/23)
On the road again!

Talk about the odds stacked against someone!
We’re on New Japan Road again, and Taichi wants his KOPW Championship back! But can he get it back when Yoshinobu Kanemaru is the guest referee?
OFFICIAL RESULTS
- Six Man Tag: Togi Makabe, Satoshi Kojima & Hiroyoshi Tenzan VS Boltin Oleg, Oskar Leube & Yuto Nakashima; Makabe, Kojima & Tenzan win.
- Master Wato & Toru Yano VS Taiji Ishimori & Gedo; Wato & Yano win.
- Six Man Tag: Chaos VS The United Empire; Chaos wins.
- 8 Man Tag: Los Ingobernables de Japon VS Tiger Mask, Shota Umino, Minoru Suzuki & Yuji Nagata; Tiger Mask, Shota, Suzuki & Nagata win.
- 8 Man Tag: Just5Guys VS The House of Torture; The House of Torture wins.
- NEVER Openweight Six Man Tag Team Championships: Kazuchika Okada, Hiroshi Tanahashi & Tomohiro Ishii VS Tomoaki Honma, Ryusuke Taguchi & Ren Narita; Okada, Tanahashi & Ishii win and retain the titles.
- KOPW Championship, Special Guest Referee Yoshinobu Kanemaru: SHO VS Taichi; Taichi wins and becomes the new KOPW Champion.
PLAY BY PLAY
NEVER Openweight Six Man Tag Team Championships: Kazuchika Okada, Hiroshi Tanahashi & Tomohiro Ishii VS Tomoaki Honma, Ryusuke Taguchi & Ren Narita!
The Rainmaker, The Ace of the Universe and The Stone Pitbull may be the Dream Trio, but Yamagata is the home of Everyone’s Kokeshi! Will #Honmamania run wild alongside The Funky Weapon & Son of Strong Style? Or will they fail to take down the champs?
The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see how happy this homecoming can get!
The trios sort out and Okada starts against Honma. The fans rally up for the hometown hero as he circles with Okada. They stare down, approach, then tie up. Okada powers Honma to ropes, Red Shoes counts the break, and Okada lets off to then fire forearms! Fans boo as Okada TOSSES Honma out, but Honma is back in fast! Okada eggs him on, Honma RAMS shoulders! Okada stays up so Honma RAMS him again! Still Okada doesn’t budge, and he eggs Honma on again. Honma fires forearms, but Okada UPPERCUTS! Okada kicks low, CLUBS Honma then ROCKS him! Fans rally for Honma but Okada CLUBS him again.
Okada storms around, Honma CHOPS! And CHOP! And CHOPS! Okada ROCKS Honma back! Okada whips Honma to ropes but Honma holds on! Okada bails out of the dropkick but Honma runs him over! Okada bails out in frustration and walks it off. Honma waits for Okada to return, and the two reset. They feel things out, knuckle lock, and then go shoulder to shoulder in a test of strength! The fans cheer, the teammates coach, and the two are in a deadlock. Honma powers up but Okada kicks low! Okada wrenches to CLUB the arm, then he tags to Tanahashi. Honma backs away to tag in Narita.
Fans rally as the generational clash circles. They tie up, Narita wrenches an arm to a wristlock but Tanahashi wrenches again. Narita rolls, wrenches, hammerlocks then headlocks. Tanahashi pries at the hold but Narita holds tight. Tanahashi fights up to try again, and he wrenches out to a top wristlock! And then powers his way to a headlock! Narita puts Tanahashi on ropes, Red Shoes calls the break, but Tanahashi turns things around. Red Shoes reprimands and counts, and Tanahashi lets off, to throw a body shot! Fans boo as the champs are playing a little dirty, but Tanahashi whips. Narita NECKBREAKER DROPS!
Narita brings Tanahashi up, and intercepts the shotei with a low knee! Narita then whips Tanahashi to the corner, but Tanahashi BLASTS Honma & Taguchi! Narita runs in, but Tanahashi elbows him away! Tanahashi then goes up to CROSSBODY Narita down! Fans fire up and Tanahashi tags Ishii. Ishii and Tanahashi double whip Narita to ropes to then run him over with double shoulders! Fans rally as Ishii kicks Narita around. Narita rises up, Ishii throws forearms, but Narita grits his teeth. Narita throws forearms but Ishii leans into them! Ishii then DECKS Narita into the champs’ corner! Tag to Okada while fans rally up again.
Okada drags Narita up, scoops and SLAMS him, then goes to the apron to slingshot SENTON! Fans applaud while Okada paces. Okada pushes Narita to a cover, TWO! Okada taunts Honma while staying between him and Narita. Red Shoes has Honma and Taguchi stay put, but then he has to keep Ishii back. Honma storms in but Okada kicks low and throws him out! Okada then goes back to Narita to drag him up and bring him over. Tag to Tanahashi and they mug Narita. Tanahashi whips Narita to elbow him down! Then ELBOW DROP! Cover, Taguchi breaks it with a hip attack! Fans cheer while Tanahashi tags Ishii.
Ishii drags Narita up to SAIDO! Okada runs in to BLAST Taguchi and block Honma! Ishii covers, TWO! Fans fire up while Ishii eggs Narita on. Ishii kicks Narita around but the fans rally behind the Son of Strong Style. Ishii CHOPS Narita to a corner, CHOPS him again, and CHOPS him again! Narita eggs Ishii on so Ishii CHOPS again! Ishii whips corner to corner, runs in but Narita BOOTS back! Narita runs, into a forearm! Ishii whips, Narita reverses but Ishii comes back, into a WHEEL KICK! Fans rally up while both men are down! Hot tag to Taguchi! HIP ATTACK for Ishii! HIP ATTACK for Tanahashi! Okada runs in but Taguchi dodges!
Taguchi rebounds but Okada dodges the hip attack! Only for the HIP ATTACK to hit on the return! Fans fire up and Taguchi aims from a corner. Ishii stands, Taguchi runs in, HIP ATTACK! Taguchi keeps moving but Ishii follows to clothesline in the corner! Ishii keeps moving, btu Taguchi follows, HIP ATTACK! Taguchi keeps moving, but Ishii dodges. But then Taguchi dodges! HIP ATTACK! Fans fire up and so does Taguchi! Taguchi drags Ishii up, fans rally behind him, and Taguchi snap suplexes! Uno Amigo! And then another snap suplex, Dos Amigos! And then Ishii suplexes! Taguchi slips out but Ishii throws an elbow!
Ishii reels Taguchi in, but Taguchi hits THREE AMIGOS! Fans fire up, Taguchi covers, TWO! Ishii is still in this but Taguchi calls upon the powers of Strong Style! “ORYA~!” Taguchi takes aim, but then Tanahashi dropkicks the butt! Okada BLASTS Honma, too! Okada drags Taguchi up, and feeds him to Tanahashi’s dropkick to the leg! Ishii adds a dropkick of his own, then Okada BOOTS Taguchi down! Ishii waits on Taguchi to stand back up, then he runs, into a HIP- NO, Ishii catches him in a waistlock! But Taguchi victory rolls free! OH MY GAH ANKLE!! Honma SMACKS Okada off the apron while Ishii endures!
Fans fire up and Honma keeps Okada from getting in! Narita has Tanahashi, but Ishii crawls to ropes! Taguchi drags him back, so Ishii rolls! To steal OH MY GAH ANKLE! But Taguchi rolls to get it back!! Ishii flails, Narita and Honma keep Okada and Tanahashi out, but Ishii fights up. Taguchi chicken wings! Ishii fights the lift, standing switches, but Taguchi wrenches out, only for Ishii to ROCK him with a forearm! And HIP ATTACK! Ishii rebounds to run Taguchi over! Fans fire up again with both men down! Taguchi and Ishii stir, crawl for their corners, hot tag to Okada and he intercepts Taguchi!
Tanahashi joins in, Okada DECKS Honma for good measure, then RAMS him into railing! Okada scoop SLAMS Honma, then talks trash. Fans boo but Okada rejoins Tanahashi. They double whip Taguchi, then Okada runs in to ELBOW! Tanahashi runs in to forearm! Feed to the FLAPJACK! Cover, TWO! Taguchi survives and fans fire up. Okada eggs the fans on, he wants the heat! Okada drags Taguchi up, scoops and SLAMS him, then goes to the corner. Taguchi is up, Okada leaps over him! Taguchi runs in, but Okada catches the hip attack to a waistlock! But Taguchi fights the suplex! Okada UPPERCUTS, runs, but into the SOMERSAULT HIP ATTACK!
Fans fire up while both men are down! Taguchi crawls for his corner but so does Okada. Hot tag to Honma! Honma rallies on Okada, Okada fights the scoop to whip, but Honma reverses. Honma dodges the back elbow to scoop and SLAM! Fans fire up as Honma brings Okada up again, to CHOP! And CHOP! And CHOP again! Honma whips corner to corner, runs in and ELBOWS! Then he BULLDOGS Okada down! Fans fire up as Honma grins. Honma fires up and runs, but Okada BOOTS him down! Narita runs in, Okada blocks the boot to give to Tanahashi! DRAGON SCREW! Taguchi runs in, Okada feeds him to Tanahashi’s body shot!
Ishii gets in, GERMAN SUPLEX for Taguchi! The Dream Trio fires up now and Honma is all alone! Honma rises, Okada BOOTS! Tanahashi SHOTEIS! Ishii LARIATS! Then they get Honma up, TRIO DDT!! Cover, TWO?!? Honma survives and the fans fire up! Okada is annoyed but he drags Honma up. Ishii keeps Narita out, Tanahashi has Taguchi, and Okada gut wrenches. Honma fights free and he waistlocks. Okada throws elbows but Honma throws forearms! Fans rally, Okada UPPERCUTS and whips. Honma avoids the dropkick and Okada crashes down! SLIDING KOKESHI!! Fans are thunderous for that big hit!
Honma rises, Taguchi gets back in, as does Narita. Now Taguchi ENZIGURIS, Narita BOOTS, and Honma runs! FALLING KOKESHI!! Cover, TWO?!?! Okada survives but Honma fires up! Ishii and Narita brawl outside, Honma hauls Okada up. Okada fights the scoop, CLUBS free, then catches Honma to the MONEY CLIP!! Honma RAMS Okada into buckles! Honma runs back in, but into a BOOT! Okada runs, but into a LARIAT! Honma fires up again and he goes up top! Fans are thunderous but Okada’s up first! Okada ROCKS Honma, to then ROCKET LAUNCH him off the top! But Honma rises! And he fires forearms on Okada!
Honma runs, but into that DROPKICK! Okada hauls Honma up, ripcords, RAIN- KOKESHI!! Both men are down again and the fans are thunderous! Honma and Okada stir, their teammates coach them up, and the two crawl. Hot tags to Tanahashi and Narita! Narita BOOTS Tanahashi down! Then Narita whips Tanahashi to a corner, to BACK ELBOW! And HALF HATCH BRIDGE! Cover, TWO!! Tanahashi escapes, but Narita DECKS Ishii for good measure! Narita stands Tanahashi up, but Tanahashi fights the clinch. Narita trips Tanahashi, has the legs, then rolls Tanahashi into the TEXAS CLOVERHOLD!!
Fans fire up as Narita uses one of Tanahashi’s favorites against him! Tanahashi fights up, moves around, reaches out, ROPEBREAK! Narita lets off, drags Tanahashi up again, and he wraps Tanahashi in a COBRA TWIST! But Tanahashi fights free, they dosido and Tanahashi trips Narita, GROUND DRAGON SCREW! Fans fire up as Tanahashi brings Narita up for fast hands! UPPERCUT, then a scoop and SLAM! Narita’s in the drop zone and Tanahashi goes up, SUNSET SENTON! Cover, TWO! Narita is still in this but Tanahashi fires back up. Tanahashi runs, SLING- NO, Narita slips around to COBRA TWIST!
Fans fire up again as Tanahashi is caught! Tanahashi endures the stretch, fights his way over, and Taguchi has Ishii in OH MY GAH ANKLE! Narita shifts to a SLEEPER! Then back to COBRA TWIST! Tanahashi still fights his way around, but Narita thrashes him around! Tanahashi reaches out, but Narita shifts to a GERMAN SUPLEX! Bridging cover, TWO!!! But Narita keeps on Tanahashi with the SLEEPER! Tanahashi fights up, but ends up in the COBRA TWIST again!! Someone is sent into railing! Okada gets in to CLUB Narita down! Narita gets up but Okada UPPERCUTS! Okada scoops, Narita slips out but Ishii has him!
Narita elbows free of the waistlock but Ishii ROCKS Narita into Okada’s scoop, LANDSLIDE! SLIDING LARIAT from Ishii! Tanahashi roars and rises up! Fans fire up as Narita slowly rises. Tanahashi runs, to SLINGBLADE! Cover, Taguchi breaks it! Fans fire up again, Ishii CLUBS Taguchi to TOSS him out! Tanahashi brings Narita up to full nelson but Narita fights that! So Tanahashi STRAITJACKET GERMANS! Bridging cover, TWO!! Narita escapes but Tanahashi fires back up! Tanahashi climbs a corner, to HIGH FLY FLOP!!! SLIDING HIP ATTACK!! Ishii runs in, Taguchi LARIATS him down!!
Okada runs in, Taguchi sends him into the KOKESHI!! The fans are thunderous for Taguchi and Honma, and they shout to Narita. Tanahashi SHOTEIS Taguchi, SHOTEIS Honma, but Narita BOOTS him! Tanahashi SHOTEIS in return! Narita ENZIGURIS in return! Taguchi HIP ATTACKS! Tanahashi is down, Honma hurries to the top rope!! Taguchi & Narita hold Tanahashi down for the DIVING KOKESHI!!! Narita hauls Tanahashi up to NORTHERN LIGHTS! Bridging cover, TWO?!?!? Tanahashi escapes and Narita is furious! Narita roars, the fans are with him, and he drags Tanahashi back up to try again! DOUBLE WRIST ARM-SAULT!
But that’s not all! Narita reels Tanahashi in, but Tanahashi CRADLE COUNTERS!! Cover, THE DREAM TRIO WINS!!
Winners: Kazuchika Okada, Hiroshi Tanahashi & Tomohiro Ishii, by pinfall (still NEVER Openweight Six Man Tag Team Champions)
Narita can’t believe he got caught like that! He argues with Red Shoes but Red Shoes says that count was fair. The homecoming doesn’t have a happy ending, but will Honma, Taguchi & Narita consider trying again some day? And as close as this one came, will Okada, Tanahashi & Ishii have to be more careful not to take their opponents easy?
KOPW Championship, Special Guest Referee Yoshinobu Kanemaru: SHO VS Taichi w/ Just5Guys!
The House of Torture stole this title from the Holy Emperor, and somehow rigged the fan poll to get their way in this match! But even with the Heel Master as the referee, will Taichi serve up justice? Or will the Murder Machine win with another stacked deck?
Referee Kanemaru makes his way out first, and the “special” stipulations are then listed. Firstly, no one can use signature moves, meaning for Taichi can’t use the Black Mephisto, Tensho Jujiho, Dangerous Backdrop saido, or anything sumo related, while Sho can’t use the Shooting Star Press, the Phoenix Splash, the Double Moonsault Press, or anything Russian Sambo related, though no one remembers when he used those. Secondly, the loser can NEVER wrestler in Yamagata again! And in the end, if Sho still loses with all this in his favor, the fans must still show him praise for even being here! Will Sho even be able to stand up with that massive ego of his weighing him down?
Sho gets the mic to talk a lot of trash on Yamagata, and to remind them that one way or another, they will thank him for being their champ, and that they should say goodbye to Taichi in his last Yamagata match ever. Kanemaru does his checks, barely trying with Sho but being extra suspicious of Taichi and J5G. The farce aside, the introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see if the Murder Machine plays fair!
The bell rings and fans rally up for Taichi. Taichi and Sho circle, Sho egging Taichi on. Taichi and Sho circle some more, Taichi rightfully wary of the House of Torture. The two tie up, they go to ropes and Kanemaru quickly calls for the break. The count is fast, too! Taichi lets off in time, Kanemaru tells J5G to back down but they’re not doing anything, and this lets Sho have Taichi on the ropes for far too long! Taichi turns things around and now Kanemaru sees! Kanemaru counts, pulls Taichi away by his hair, and Taichi gets mad! Taichi glares at his former friend, and Sho CHOKES Taichi to the ropes! Kanemaru is more concerned with Taka!
Sho TOSSES Taichi out, the House stomps away, but of course Kanemaru doesn’t care. Sho goes out to whip Taichi into railing, then he slides inside. Kanemaru starts a fast ring count! Fans boo and J5G complain, because we’re already at 10 of 20 at about double time! Taichi gets in at what Kanemaru calls 15, Sho covers, and yes this count is fast! TWO!! Taichi barely makes it and fans boo again. Kanemaru argues with J5G like there’s nothing wrong, and Sho CHOKES Taichi! Sho drags Taichi up, CLUBS Taichi, and has him on ropes again. Sho whips, Taichi reverses to wrench and HOOK KICK! Cover, but Kanemaru takes his time checking!
Kanemaru finally counts, but that’s slow! “TWO,” and Sho is out! Fans boo but what did anyone expect with this? Taichi is annoyed, but he snapmares Sho to KICK him in the back! Taichi stands Sho up, TOSSES him out, then goes out after Sho. Taichi kicks Sho, whips him, and Sho hits railing hard! Fans cheer while Taichi drags Sho up to whip him hard into more railing! Sho falls in a heap then writhes, and then Sho crawls away into the crowd! Taichi waits as Kanemaru brings the ring count back, but it’s so slow! “Two” could’ve been more like five! Taichi is furious but Sho is taking his sweet time walking off the pain.
Kanemaru finally gets to 5 of 20 as Sho makes his way back around to the stage. Taichi gets frustrated so he storms out after Sho! Taichi kicks and CLUBS Sho, KICKS him, but Kanemaru is forced to keep the same pace so as not to cost Sho. Taichi brings Sho back at “ten” and puts him in. Fans cheer and Taichi covers, but yeah, the count’s slow! Taichi just gives up at “one” and he stalks Sho to a corner. Taichi stomps away on Sho, kicks him around, then stands him up. Sho claws the eyes! Kanemaru stays quiet, and then moves as Sho whips Taichi to a corner! Surprise, the buckle pad goes with Kanemaru so Taichi hits bare steel!
Fans boo while Sho stomps Taichi and kicks him out. And that means the House attacks! Dick stomps, and Evil has a leather strap to LASH Taichi! Oh, right, Evil wanted this to be a leather strap lumberjack match. Evil LASHES Taichi more, then Sho goes out to fetch Taichi. Sho brings Taichi into the crowd and all the way to the back rows, to BOWL him into chairs! The slow ring count returns as Sho CHOKES Taichi with a chair! Sho lets off, leaves Taichi behind, and guess what? The count speeds up! Taichi hurries up at “ten” and runs his way back to ringside! The gates get in the way, but he still gets in at “17!”
Fans cheer and Kanemaru is confused how that didn’t work! Sho stomps Taichi, drags him up, and the fans rally. Taichi is dead weight so Sho drops him. Sho tries again, cravats, and snapmares to then say he’s gonna go up top! He’s calling for his Phoenix Splash? Kanemaru reminds him he “banned” that move. Oh, right, so instead, Sho twists the wrist and whips Taichi into the bare buckles! Taichi writhes, Sho clamps on a chinlock and he digs the knee in. Taichi endures, Kanemaru keeps asking him if he’s quitting but Taichi says no! ROPEBREAK, but Kanemaru kicks his foot away!? J5G protests but Kanemaru says he’s the ref, he says what’s what!
Taichi gets a ROPEBREAK with both feet this time, and Kanemaru again slow counts for Sho. Sho “panics” and lets off at 4.5. Taichi sputters but Sho gives him toying kicks. Fans boo but Sho taunts Taichi. Taichi gets mad as Sho gives him more mocking kicks. Taichi CHOPS! Fans fire up for that one! Sho eggs Taichi on, so Taichi CHOPS him again! Sho comes back for more, so Taichi CHOPS! Sho claws Taichi’s eyes! Taichi CHOKES Sho! Kanemaru counts fast, and Sho kicks low! Sho whips Taichi to a padded corner, runs in but gets the GAMANGIRI! Fans fire up as both men fall! Kanemaru checks Sho while J5G coaches Taichi.
Taichi rises first, then he gives Sho some Kawada Kicks! Sho goes to a corner, Taichi runs in to BOOT! Fans cheer and Taichi brings Sho around to AX- NO, Sho gets around to waistlock! Taichi fights the German Suplex to PELE! Fans fire up and Taichi drags Sho up. Taichi reels Sho in, but Sho fights the lift! Sho bends fingers, Kanemaru ignores that, but Taichi kicks low! And SOBATS! And BUZZSAWS! Fans fire up as the PANTS COME OFF! Taichi aims from the corner, but Kanemaru tells him to stop! Tensho is on the banned list! But then Sho SPEARS Taichi down! Cover, TWO!!! Taichi survives the fast count more than the tackle!
Sho stands back up, he drags Taichi around with a knuckle lock then he wrenches. Sho brings Taichi down to kick, KIJCK and SUPER- NO, Taichi blocks that! But then Sho claws Taichi’s face! Sho runs, LARIATS, but Taichi stays up! Fans fire up while Sho panics. Sho runs again, to LARIAT! Taichi GAMANGIRIS again! Fans fire up as Taichi rises and he reels Sho in! SEITEI JUJIHO! Kanemaru panics, and tries to get Sho out of the hold! Taichi holds on, Sho taps, but Kanemaru ignores it!! Sho isn’t losing the title but he is still suffering! This is kinda double-edged here! J5G protests, and Taichi throws Sho down since it’s no use!
Taichi argues with Kanemaru, grabs him by the collar, but has to let go. Kanemaru is still the ref, after all. But then Kanemaru waves the House in and they CLOBBER Taichi and J5G! Fans boo but there’s nothing they can do! The House whips Taichi into the corner, then Dick runs in to ELBOW! Yujiro BOOTS! Evil clotheslines! Snapmare and then the House sets Taichi up! DICK CHOP! Fans rally for Taichi while Sho grins and looms over him. Sho aims his bow, drags Taichi up, and reels him in! Sho tucks the arms, this move wasn’t banned! But Taichi fights Shock Arrow to Alabama Lift! But Kanemaru stops Black Mephisto, that was banned!
Sho has the arms again, but Taichi fights free with a back drop! Fans fire up and Taichi goes to a corner. Sho goes to a corner, runs in, but Taichi sends him into bare buckles! GEDO CLUTCH! Kanemaru stops himself after two!! Fans boo, this is one trick too far! Taichi is furious, but Kanemaru dares him to throw a punch! Sho has the Murder Tool! Sho runs in, but Taichi dodges! DANGER- NO, Taichi stops himself because the saido was banned! Sho throws a body shot, then stand Taichi up. Dick aims, POCKET SAND HITS SHO as Taichi ducks!! Taichi BOOTS Dick, so Kanemaru kicks Taichi! Kanemaru sets Taichi up, but Taichi turns it around, Sho hits Kanemaru!!
Sho celebrates but he’s so blinded by the powder, he doesn’t realize what happened! When he does, he panics! And he turns around into AX BOMBER! But then the House attacks again! They CLOBBER Taichi, knock J5G down, and then hurry to get their goodies! Yujiro has his cane! Fans boo as Evil stands Taichi up, PIMP CANE SHOT!! Evil grins as he and Dick coordinate now, and they haul Taichi up for MAGIC KILLER!! Fans boo as Dick helps Sho cover Taichi, and Evil is the ref!? TWO!!! Taichi still survives and that shocks the House! Evil gets Taichi up, but Sanada DROPKICKS Evil down! Yuya DROPKICKS Dick down!
Douki gets in, he builds speed to DIVE! Direct hit on Dick and Evil! Fans fire up and Taka runs in. Yujiro CLOBBERS Taka, but Taichi hits TENSHO JUJIHO!! The ref is down, so the ban list is ineffective! The fans fire up for Taichi as he eggs Sho on. Sho panics as he has no back-up and no Murder Tool! So he goes for Kanemaru’s whiskey bottle! Taichi drags him back, but Sho claws the eyes! Sho runs, but into a BOOT! Sho tries again, Taichi ROCKS him, and BLINDSIDE AX BOMBERS, into the GAMANGIRI! Fans are thunderous and Taichi roars! RED SHOES is here! Taichi gets Sho up, for the LAST RIDE!! Cover, TAICHI WINS!!
Winner: Taichi, by pinfall (NEW KOPW Champion)
The House’s rules weren’t enough to screw over the Holy Emperor, he is once again holder of that sky blue belt! Will the House have to accept cheaters never truly prosper?
As for Taichi, fans cheer him on as he gets the mic. After catching his breath, Taichi says that no matter how you look at it, there wasn’t much of a chance for him to win today with such unfair rules. But still, it was on Sho for making those rules, and he still lost! The fans cheer that! Taichi apologizes if he worried anyone, but thanks to the people’s support, he has the KOPW Championship back! The fans also cheer that! Taichi thanks his team, and says that while he has this title know, he isn’t sure of his chances ending the year with it. There’s still time left, and so… Taichi calls out Kanemaru! They’re going to settle this between them! Fans like that, too!
Taichi says whatever the rules end up being, he’s going to give Kanemaru a proper beating before the year is over. Taichi then brings up that rule about the loser having to bow his head and see the fans out properly. Sho ran away, of course, so there goes that. The House can’t even fulfill their own promises. But Taichi says that what the House refused to do, J5G will do! They’ll even go to people’s houses to deliver things! One by one, they’ll take care of their fans. And as for Taichi, he’ll let “Sanayan” and Taka wrap this up. Sanada says he has an “important announcement” for Yamagata. Please welcome their new member, Yuya Uemura.
The fans cheer the Heat Storm and Sanada says that is all. He then hands the mic to Taka to properly close this. Taka says that the KOPW Championship is back where it should be, and from now on, and even next year, too, the ones who run NJPW, the ones who will change the landscape of pro-wrestling, will be them! JUST! FIVE! GUYS! Yamagata cheers as all is right with the world, but will the Holy Emperor still be the King of Pro-Wrestling for the rest of 2023? Or will leaving the door open to the Heel Master come back to haunt him?
My Thoughts:
Good stuff for New Japan Road, though I did skip most of this. LIJ losing was a bit of a surprise, but maybe they’re setting up something between Shota Umino and Yota Tsuji as two of the Reiwa Three Musketeers. The NEVER Openweight Six Man title match was awesome stuff, probably the best showing from the challengers to this point. A little surprised Okada is still holding onto these titles, and he’s not going to be defending them at WrestleKingdom with his match against Bryan Danielson. Maybe they’ll come up with a team that can take these titles off the Dream Trio in the New Year.
And great KOPW Championship match and it was hilarious how biased things were from Kanemaru. I was pleasantly surprised that Taichi won, but it was clever to have it happen because Kanemaru went down and a fair ref replaced him. Taichi VS Kanemaru for something in December is going to be great stuff, who knows how that goes, but then the title is reset for 2024 so it’d be a shame if Taichi doesn’t get to finish the year out with his name as “the official” 2023 KOPW Champion.
My Score: 8.7/10
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London calling to the champion crowns!
SmackDown brings gold to London as LA Knight defends his WWE US Championship and The Street Profits defend their tag team titles! Will the landscape change this close to WrestleMania?
OFFICIAL RESULTS
- WWE Tag Team Championships: The Street Profits VS Pretty Deadly; The Profits win and retain the titles.
- Kayden Carter & Katana Chance VS The Secret Her-vice w/ Chelsea Green; The Secret Her-vice wins.
- WWE United States Championship: LA Knight VS Braun Strowman; Braun wins, by disqualification, and Knight retains the title.
- Charlotte Flair VS Mia Yim w/ B-Fab; Charlotte wins.
- Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre; McIntyre wins.
- Jimmy Uso VS The Miz; Jimmy wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
Cody Rhodes is here!
We follow The American Nightmare as walks to gorilla, then through the curtain, and London sings along with the song, “WHOA~ OH~!” Cody gets his pyro, says hello to fans along the ramp, and then we get the second “WHOA~ OH~!” and pyro. Cody goes to the ring, grabs a mic, then kneels down to kiss the WWE logo on the mat. The fans continue to sing along all the way to the end, “I AM MY KINGDOM!” The fans then cheer, and Cody holds up the belt to fire them up even more! The fans now sing for “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” and he soaks it in. The fans cheer again as Cody smiles, and he finally says, “So, London~! Whaddya wanna talk about?”
The fans chant “Let’s Go, Cena!” “CENA SUCKS!” Cody hears that dueling, and he smiles again. The song of “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” returns, then they cheer. Cody says, “At WrestleMania 41, I will be facing John Cena…” The fans boo, but Cody says, “I will be facing John Cena as he goes to break the record and win 17. But that is WrestleMania 41. In just a few nights, I will be standing face to face with John Cena in this very same city, in this very same arena.” The fans cheer that, but then here comes Randy Orton! Now the fans sing along with Voices as The Viper heads to the ring. Orton also high-fives fans before he joins Cody.
Orton grabs a mic, paces while the fans keep singing on their own, and then the fans cheer. Orton says he’s not really the sentimental type, but for Cody and for London, screw it. The fans chant “R K O! R K O!” and Orton tells Cody, “Look at you. Look at who you are now, the man you are now. Look at where he came from.” The fans cheer and sing “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” and Orton says he remembers a Cody in his early 20s, just breaking into the business. Cody was busting his ass harder than anyone else. He wasn’t exactly happy, and in fact, he was frustrated. But Cody was man enough, smart enough, to know he needed to grow, and that he couldn’t grow in the WWE.
Cody wasn’t exactly treated fairly in the WWE, so Cody left the WWE! That took some big ass balls to do what he did! Cody changed the business singlehandedly, and everyone in the back knows it. And Orton appreciates Cody for it. But then Cody came back, as they all knew one day he would. And the industry has been changed forever since the day Cody came back to the WWE. Cody is a bit teary eyed as Orton says Cody’s still the same guy, he just did what he set out to do, and he grew. Orton teases he would sing along with the fans, but the fans might leave. The fans again sing “CODY! CODY RHODES~!”
Orton asks if they remember when Cody Rhodes faced Seth Rollins in Hell in a Cell. The fans cheer because they do. Orton says that was impressive, and even impossible, as he started with a partially torn pec and then ended with a fully torn pec! His body changed all kinds of shades of purple that Orton’s never seen on a human body. The pain he must have been in. Cody persevered not just for himself. Maybe not even at all for Cody. It was not even for his family legacy; it was for each and every single fan out there! Then Cody went on to WrestleMania, beat Roman Reigns and finished the story!
But there’s always another story, isn’t there? And Cody’s right in the middle of one. Cody is in charge of his legacy, and it is a privilege for Orton to watch Cody take control of it. Ticket sales have been up, there’s more intrigue around the world, and listen to the people! It is 99.9% all because of Cody! The fans cheer that, and of course they sing. Orton says what he’s trying to say is a long-winded version of he respects Cody, loves him, and is very, very proud of him. The fans cheer that! Orton then says, “But… But now it is time for WrestleMania.” They both look to the sign, and Orton says he can guarantee Cody that Orton will kick Kevin Owens so hard in the head…!
Orton can just feel it already! He forgets how many days are left, but he can’t wait to remove Kevin’s head from his shoulders. And Orton knows Cody will enter champion, exit champion, but not before he beats the holy hell outta Cena all up and down the Vegas strip! But after all the smoke clears and the dust settles, just like Orton wants Number 17, there will come a time when Orton will want Number 15. But Orton won’t kick Cody in the balls like a coward. Orton will look Cody in the eye because he respects Cody, is proud of Cody, and sees him as an equal. Orton will look Cody in the eye and tell him that he’s coming for the title.
The fans cheer but wait! Drew McIntyre is here! The fans cheer the Scottish Terminator as he steps out on stage, mic in hand, and has a wry smile on his face as he looks at the ring. Drew waves as the fans now sing, “OH~ Drew McIntyre~!” Drew says, “Isn’t this wonderful? A couple of nepo babies having a love fest in the middle of the ring> It makes me absolutely sick. What’d you just say, Randy? if Cody gets through Cena at WrestleMania, you’re coming for that title? What exactly have you done since that big comeback to justify that title match? Aside be Randy Orton. The only big moment I can remember is you being on the shelf for months and months and months.
“People like to make jokes about it, but more people talk about my five-minute-45-second title reign than your entire comeback so far! So get to the back of the line, sunshine! As for you, Cody, you should’ve listened to me. But you shunned me. You attacked me. Everybody should’ve listened to me about John Cena, but they didn’t. And the next night, he kicked you right in the twig ‘n’ berries, proving me right as usual. And the main event of WrestleMania should be Cody Rhodes VS The UK’s only ever world champion, Drew McIntyre!” Fans do like that idea. But sadly, it’s not, because of that guyliner wearing Temu Undertaker, Damian Priest!
Drew wants to talk about what is happening. And what’s gonna happen! Drew steps up to the ring while fans sing for him again. Drew says it will not be Randy that takes the title from Cody, should he get through Cena; it’ll be McIntyre. The fans cheer, but Orton says they were trying to have a moment. Can Drew just cut the crap already? Drew says okay, sure. He’ll tell the truth, because that’s all he ever does. The truth is, Kevin might have a point! If those Voices are talking to Orton again, then they know Drew very, very well. And he’s thinking, “My God, Randy looks great! Absolutely jacked! On the outside.”
On the inside, that back is hanging by a thread. And if Orton provokes McIntyre, McIntyre will break him. And as for Cody- Cody kicks Drew and UPPERCUTS him! The fans fire up, and Orton R- NO, Drew gets away! The fans boo, but the battlelines are drawn! Even if Cody makes it out of the frying pan that is Las Vegas, it’ll be into the fire that is these contenders waiting in line! Will the American Nightmare be ready for whoever comes for the crown?
WWE Tag Team Championships: The Street Profits VS Pretty Deadly!
Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins are finally golden again, but it’s time to put the titles on the line already! And while they’re ready for the grind, they’re up against the hometown heroes! Will the Profits still be up in the O2? Or will Kit Wilson & Elton Prince say #YESBOY to a new reign of their own?
The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see who really wants the smoke!
The teams sort out and Kit starts with Dawkins. They tie up, Dawkins headlocks, but Kit powers up and out. Dawkins runs Kit over, the fans fire up, and Dawkins fires hands on Kit in the corner! The fans rally for Pretty Deadly, Dawkins whips Kit to a corner, but Elton takes that bump! Kit CLOBBERS Dawkins, then tags Elton! Atomic drop into DROPKICK! Ford runs up, but into a DOUBLE HIP TOSS! Dawkins whips, Elton reverses, and then Elton hurdles so Kit can DDT! The fans fire up with Pretty Deadly while the Profits bail out. Pretty Deadly has control while SmackDown goes picture in picture.
Elton is right on Dawkins as he gets in, and UPPERCUTS him to the corner. Elton clinches Dawkins for another UPPERCUT! Tag to Kit, and Elton RAMS into Dawkins so Kit can UPPERCUT! Dawkins flops over, Kit drags him up to wrench the arm. Kit whips, Dawkins reverses, but Kit grabs ropes. Kit ELBOWS Dawkins, DECKS Ford, but Dawkins CLOBBERS Kit! The ref reprimands but Dawkins RAMS Kit into the corner again and again! The ref counts, Dawkins fires fast hands, then he tags in Ford. Ford says, “SUCK IT!” then he KICKS Kit! Ford scuffs Kit, then drags him to a cover, TWO!
Ford keeps Kit down with a facelock, but Kit endures the grind. Kit fights up, fires body shots, but Ford whips him away. Kit sunset flips! Ford rolls through, and PENALTY KICKS! Ford mocks Elton with the Scott Hall fingers, and the ref has to keep Elton back. Ford drags Kit up, tags Dawkins, and the Profits mug Kit. Dawkins CLUBS Kit down, then stalks him. Dawkins stays between Kit and Elton, then whips Kit into the Profits’ corner. CYCLONE- NO, Kit dodges! Ford tags in, he keeps Kit from Elton now, but Kit slips out of the suplex! Kit fakes high to go low, hot tag to Elton! Elton rallies with LARIAT after LARIAT!
Elton kicks and whips Ford to a corner, then UPPERCUTS! Elton whips the other way, UPPERCUTS again, and then does it again! Elton adds to the hattrick with a lift, Ford says a quick prayer before the SUPLEX! Ford flounders, gets to his feet, but Elton dodges to springboard and FLYING UPPERCUT! Cover, TWO! Ford stays in this, but Elton stays on him. SmackDown returns to single picture and fans rally for Pretty Deadly as Elton gives Ford a back suplex. Ford lands out, waistlocks, but Elton switches and shoves Ford. Ford CLOBBERS Elton in return! Ford is also dazed but he covers, ONE!
Kit reaches out, Elton and Ford both crawl, hot tags to Kit and Dawkins! The fans fire up as Dawkins wrenches Kit, underhooks and SILENCER! Dawkins Electric Chair Lifts Kit, Ford climbs, but Kit slips free! Kit shoves Dawkins into Ford! Ford falls to the floor, but Dawkins ENZIGIRIS Kit! Elton tags in, and Kit LARIATS Dawkins! Pretty Deadly combine for DRY MARTI-KNEES! Cover, TWO!! Dawkins survives and the Profits are a bit unsure of what to do next. Dawkins crawls to a corner, Elton runs up, but Dawkins dodges! Elton hits buckles and Dawkins TOSSES Kit, then Dawkins hits a SKY HIGH on Elton!
Dawkins hurries to tag Ford and Ford climbs up! But Kit pushes Elton out of the way! Kit takes FROM THE HEAVESN, and Elton ghost pins Ford! TWO!! Ford escapes, and he ROCKS Elton! Elton UPPERCUTS Ford! Dawkins sneaks a tag, Ford SUPERKICKS! POUNCE SAIDO COMBO!! Cover, KIT BREAKS IT! The fans fire up while all four men are down! The teams go to opposite ends, then they all stand up in the corners. They all roar, all run in, and Kit SPEARS Ford while Elton FLYING UPPERCUTS Dawkins!! London is thunderous, and Kit hurries to tag in! Pretty Deadly gets Dawkins up, for SPILT MILK!! Cover, FORD BREAKS IT!
The fans are shocked, as is Elton, but Ford saves this for his team! “This is Awesome!” as Ford runs up and Elton TOSSES him out! Now DRY MARTI- NO! Dawkins doesn’t accept the second serving, and he DUMPS Kit out! Kit skins the cat while Dawkins DECKS Elton! Dawkins catches Kit to an Electric Chair! Ford rises, DOOMSDAY BLOCKBUSTER!! Cover, Profits win!
Winners: The Street Profits, by pinfall (still WWE Tag Team Champions)
Pretty Deadly put up a heroic fight, but the hometown heroes could not capture the gold. Dawkins & Ford hold onto the gold, will this be the strongest the Profits have ever been?
Kayden & Katana talk with Zelina Vega.
Carter & Chance know La Muneca got screwed over by The Green Administration. Chelsea thinks she’s untouchable, but someone’s gonna stop them eventually. Well, speaking of, Alba Fyre leads the way in as she & Piper Niven “scope the perimeter.” There’s one small threat. They frisk the “miniscule” threat, but nothing they haven’t dealt with before. Chelsea struts in and says, “The Eagle has landed~!” Zelina says she is so glad the “Bootleg Men in Black” have crashed the party. Now, yeah, they all know she’s small. But clearly this small “threat” is a big threat to Chelsea’s title reign. Otherwise, it wouldn’t have taken all three of them to beat her.
KC Squared agree with that. How about tonight, we see what happens when the odds are even? Chelsea says that’s fine, because Agents P & A are ready. The Secret Her-vice has been given their next mission, but will they be able to crash the party? Or will the party crash them?
Kayden Carter & Katana Chance VS The Secret Her-vice!
SmackDown returns and The Green Administration makes their entrance. The teams sort out, Alba starts against Katana, and the two tie up. Alba KNEES low, CLUBS Katana down, then fireman’s carries. Katana fights free, tags Kayden, and they KICK, double whip, and then trip Alba up for the basement DROPKICK! Katana adds a slingshot SENTON, Kayden covers, TWO! Kayden tags Katana, they double whip Alba to a corner, then Kayden runs in. Alba DUMPS Kayden out, ROCKS Katana, and she tags Piper! Katana arm-drags Alba out, then goes out to run up. Kayden gives her a boost, Katana CROSSBODIES Alba down!
The fans fire up, but Piper goes up and out?! CANNONBALL and down goes KC Squared! Piper salutes Chelsea and SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns, Kayden rallies on Alba while the fans rally up. Kayden fires up, runs in and whips, but Alba reverses. Kayden wheelbarrows, victory rolls, then SUPERKICKS! Kayden fires up again but the fans are torn. Kayden runs in at Alba to BOOT WASH her against the ropes! Chelsea protests, Kayden kicks at her, then Kayden springboards for a LEG DROP! Cover, TWO! Alba survives, Kayden whips, but Alba KICKS back! Tag to Piper, but Kayden jackknife bridges Alba! The ref explains bout the tag, Piper runs up, but Kayden moves! The SENTON hits Alba! Piper panics, Kayden tags Katana!
Katana goes up onto Kayden’s shoulders, VICTORY ROLL LAUNCHER, but Piper catches Katana! Katana fires hands, BOOTS, and then hurries to go up again. Kayden ROCKS Piper, and fireman’s carries?! SAMOAN DROP! Kayden then gives Katana the boost, for the KEG STAND SPLASH!! Cover, ALBA BREAKS IT! Kayden runs up on Alba to BOOT her out! Katana gives Kayden the boost now, SUPER CROSSBODY onto Alba! Kayden hurries to tag back in, and she brings Piper up. Piper swings, Kayden dodges and SUPERKICKS! Katana goes up, Piper staggers over that way, but Chelsea distracts the ref!
The fans are torn as Alba grabs Katana. Katana kicks Alba down, chases Chelsea off, but Piper sends Kayden into her! Piper scoops to PIPER DRIVER!! Cover, Secret Her-vice wins!
Winner: The Secret Her-vice, by pinfall
The Women’s US Champion helps her team, and now they all mug Kayden & Katana! But here comes Zelina! Vega runs down the ramp, CLOBBERS Alba, and then she gets in the ring! Zelina tilt-o-whirl DDTS Piper! And she KNEES Alba off the apron! But Chelsea CLOBBERS Zelina! Chelsea fires up, the UK is oddly with her, and she chicken wings Zeina. But Zelina fights free to fire forearms and body shots! And a BACK ELBOW! Zelina reels Chelsea in, CODE- SUPERKICK from Alba! SENTON from Piper! The Green Administration is just too much for Zelina to fight against alone! But can she, Kayden & Katana find a way to turn things around?
WWE United States Championship: LA Knight VS Braun Strowman!
Did the Mega Star just get this title back from Shinsuke Nakamura? YEAH! Did he help the Monster of All Monsters fight off Solo Sikoa’s rouge bloodline? YEAH! And now, does he have to defend this title against the monster he just helped? YEAH!! But will Knight still reign this close to WrestleMania? Or will Braun #GetTheseHands back on a championship?
The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and it’s time for Knight’s biggest challenge, YEAH!
The bell rings and the fans rally up as the two circle. The two tie up, and Braun SHOVES Knight away. Knight comes back, Braun SHOVES him down again! Knight gets up, gets around, and he headlocks. Braun powers up to back suplex, but Knight lands out! Knight tries but Braun’s too big to suplex! Braun ELBOWS Knight, storms up on him, but Knight fires haymakers! Knight whips, Braun reverses, but Knight KICKS back! Knight runs, but Braun HIP TOSSES! Cover, TWO! Knight stays in this, but Braun brings him up. Braun puts Knight in a corner, CHOPS, then runs, for a SPLASH! Knight sputters along ropes, Braun keeps moving, but Knight DUMPS him out!
The fans fire up as Knight then WRECKS Braun with a dropkick! Knight keeps moving, and he WRECKS Braun again! The fans fire up with Knight, but then Braun BOOTS Knight down! The fans are torn but Braun stands tall as SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns and Braun puts Knight back in the ring. The fans cheer as Knight KICKS Braun! Knight tries again, but Braun’s still too big to back suplex! Braun CLUBS Knight, then runs in at the corner. Knight BOOTS Braun, goes up, and FLYING BULLDOGS! Both men are down and the fans fire up! Knight and Braun rise back up, and Knight dodges a shot to JAB! Then he dodges to JAB! JAB! JAB! “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” But Braun KNEES low! Braun scoops, Knight slips free, and Knight RAMS Braun into buckles! Then the BACK SUPLEX! The fans fire up and Knight rises again! Knight spells it out, “L! A! KNIGHT! YEAH!” ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO!
Braun has plenty left in the tank but the fans rally for Knight. Knight stands Braun up to kick low, but Braun THROWS Knight away! Knight rises, and Braun LARIATS Knight up and out! The fans fire up as Braun rips the shirt! Braun gets on the track, and he runs in, STROWMAN EXPRESS MEETS JACOB FATU!! The Samoan Werewolf strikes Braun down!
Winner: Braun Strowman, by disqualification; LA Knight retains the title
The fans boo as Jacob now goes after Knight! He just ruined what was becoming a great match, but Jacob fires HEADBUTT after HEADBUTT on Braun! SAMOAN DROP onto the desk!! The desk doesn’t budge, but Braun might’ve been broken in half! The UK fires up for Fatu as he puts Braun in the ring! Jacob fires more HEADBUTTS, then HEADBUTTS away on Braun in the corner! The fans sing “OLE~ OLE OLE OLE, FATU~, FATU~!” Jacob runs corner to corner, but Knight kicks him first! Knight fires haymakers, “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” Jacob denies the BFT to POP-UP SAMOAN DROP! And then HIP ATTACK for Braun anyway!
Jacob keeps going, HIP ATTACK for Braun again! Jacob throws off his jacket, glares at Braun, and he runs in for a third HIP ATTACK! Braun flounders into the drop zone, so Jacob goes up, up, BEST MOONSAULT EVER! Direct hit on Braun, but the fans want that “ONE MORE TIME!” Jacob obliges, BEST MOONSAULT EVER! The Samoan Werewolf just tore up #OneBigSOB and LA Knight, will there be no stopping him from taking the United States Championship?
Backstage interview with Jimmy Uso.
Jackie Redmond is with #BigJim, and she says that while she knew WWE was going global this month, she did not know they’d get the slap heard ’round the world! Jimmy says he’d do it again, and he’ll slap Gunther as many times as he needs! Jimmy knows Jey is up in his own head, doubt is creeping on him. But just because Jey’s 0-3 against Gunther doesn’t mean Gunther’s unbeatable! The Ring General CAN be got! Jimmy’s going to Raw this Monday, he will bust Gunther’s ass, Jey will go to Mania and bust Gunther’s ass to become the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. And then they leave Las Vegas just like this: YEET!
Jimmy heads out, but then The Miz & Carmelo Hayes walk by. Miz is mocking Jimmy’s words, and he asks excuse me. Miz says it’s just funny that suddenly, Jimmy is a tough guy, even though for most of his career, he’s been “The Other Uso.” Doesn’t Jimmy get it? Jimmy and Jey are career sidekicks while Gunther is a main character. Gunther is the lead, neither Jimmy nor Jey can beat him. And here’s another thing: The Usos are just blips on the trailer that was Roman Reigns’ Bloodline. Melo says Jimmy & Jey are stuck outside the club, they can’t even get in.
Miz says as a former WWE Champion, a former WrestleMania main eventer, Jimmy will never know what it is to carry this industry. And after this year’s WrestleMania, neither will Jey. Oh, and by the way, if Jimmy ever slapped Miz like that, Jimmy would still be on the ground. Jimmy feints the slap and Miz freaks out. Jimmy says it may be him and Gunther on Monday, but he’ll holler at Aldis real quick so it can be Jimmy VS Miz here tonight. Yeah, YEET! Jimmy heads out, Melo says he thought Miz was gonna do something about the slap. Will Miz have to do something about running his mouth before he gets his teeth kicked in?
Solo Sikoa & Tama Tonga find Jacob Fatu backstage.
Solo asks Jacob what the Hell he was doing out there. Jacob goes out there alone without saying a thing to them? Jacob says he ain’t gotta say nothing to nobody! Matter fact, didn’t Solo not tap in with him last week? Tama says, “But Jacob,” only for Jacob to say, “But nothing, Tama!” Solo wants Jacob to lower his tone, but Jacob says okay. Let him be very clear with them. When it comes to Braun Strowman, Jacob WILL be the last man standing. Y’all better get in where you fit in, cuz that US title? Oh, Jacob’s bringing it home to the family. And he will do it with them, or without them! Yadada mean? Fatu heads out, is the Samoan Werewolf no longer following Solo?
Naomi speaks.
“I mean… How did we even get here? I don’t know. One thing that I do know is that I’ve always been the woman to do the right thing. I’ve always been the woman to do the right thing. So Bianca, what makes you think that my attack on Jade was anything different from me doing the right thing? When I sit here and I think about all that I’ve sacrificed, all that I’ve given, and that’s what really breaks my heart. Because through all of that, I’m made to be the bad one in this situation. I just don’t understand, how does Jade come in outta nowhere and take my place with you? I want you to ask yourself this, Bianca. Who inspired you? Hmm?
“Who’s inspired women over the last decade? Who’s always had your back from day one of you being here? Me. Not Jade. Hmm. But you know what? What I’ve learned through all of this: You teach people how to treat you. And I’m done with being treated as a third wheel. I’m done being pushed to the side, I’m done with being too nice, I’m done with being undervalued, underutilized, underappreciated! So moving forward, hmm… Moving forward, here’s my message to you, Jade. If you continue to be in my way, I strongly advise you to proceed with caution.” The Glow shows her dark side, but will the storm be moved?
Nick Aldis meets with Jade Cargill.
Speaking of, the SmackDown General Manager understands things have been rather difficult for her as of late. Jade says she’s been trying to get her hands on Naomi for the past few weeks, now where is she? No one has seen her all day, so as far as anyone knows, Naomi’s not here. Well, when Jade catches Naomi, it’s on sight. Jade leaves, B-Fab & Michin are there. They let her know that what Naomi did to her was straight trash, totally uncalled for behavior. And after Jade gets her hands on Naomi, she’ll handle that business. Jade agrees. Mia says they’ve all got business to handle. Jade’s got Naomi, and Mia’s gonna get Charlotte for messing with her girl, B.
B-Fab says Naomi’s got what’s coming to her: no sympathy, no regrets. Jade, just do what you gotta do. Oh, she will. Jade also wishes Mia luck tonight. Mia & B-Fab head out, will the Head Baddie in Charge make the Queen bow down in London?
The darkness approaches.
“You are as I was. As I am, you will be.” The shadows are starting to take shape, but is SmackDown about to fade to black?
Charlotte Flair VS Mia Yim w/ B-Fab!
The Queen looks down on everyone, so it’s no surprise that everyone else wants to take her down. Charlotte may have checked off B-Fab, but will the HBIC be a much different story? Or will Charlotte only sharpen her edge before facing Tiffany Stratton at WrestleMania?
WAIT! NAOMI ATTACKS B-FAB & MICHIN! Naomi drags Mia up for a FACEBUSTER! Naomi rains down fists, the ref reprimands and the fans boo, but Naomi tells the ref to back off. Naomi then BOOTS B-Fab off the apron! Naomi goes out after B-Fab to THRWO her into barriers! Naomi SLAPS B-Fab, tells her to stay down, but B-Fab gets up. Naomi fires hands, then she SMACKS B-Fab off the desk! Naomi rains down fists, but here comes Jade! Jade hurries down the ramp, she runs around the way, but Naomi runs away! Jade makes sure B-Fab is okay, but refs have to help her to the back. And what of Mia? Will she even be able to compete?
Charlotte makes her entrance, not really caring about what Naomi just did to Mia. But that means she also crosses paths with Jade. The fans like the look of this stare down, but Jade and Charlotte both let the other slide. Charlotte gets her pyro, and it seems she’ll still get her match. Will Mia be little more than an appetizer now?
The bell rings, and Charlotte BOOTS Mia down! Cover, TWO! Mia stays in this and the fans rally up. Charlotte just struts around while SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns, Charlotte has Mia down with a chinlock, but the fans rally up. Mia fights up, fires body shots, and she then blocks a shot to ROCK Charlotte! Mia ROCKS Charlotte again and again, then reels her in for a TORNADO DDT! The fans fire up as Mia hurries to cover, TWO! Mia drags Charlotte up, wrenches, but Charlotte says no to Da Feet! BIG back suplex! Mia stagger sup, Charlotte whips her, but Mia reverses! Charlotte goes up and out, BOOTS her away, then slingshots in and rolls Mia! Mia rolls through and BUZZSAWS! Mia runs corner to corner, but Charlotte avoids the cannonball!
Charlotte YAKUZA KICKS Mia down, then fires herself up! The fans “WOO~!” as Charlotte has Mia in the drop zone,. Charlotte steps on her, goes up the corner, but Mia gets underneath her! SIT-OUT POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! Charlotte survives and Mia is shocked! Mia nods as the fans rally back up, and she brings Charlotte up. But Charlotte ROCKS Mia! Mia SOBATS, PELES, and then runs to PENALTY KICK! Cover, TWO! Charlotte stays in this, Mia grows frustrated, but the fans continue to rally. Mia uses that energy to stay focused, and she stalks Charlotte to waistlock. But Charlotte ELBOWS her away!
Charlotte CHOPS, and CHOPS, and CHOSP! Charlotte winds up, and she CHOPS again! Mia sputters, but then she dodges the boot! Charlotte is caught, and Mia hits a SAIDO! Charlotte flounders to a corner, the fans rally behind Mia, and Mia runs up, CANNONBALL! Mia hurries to wrench and EAT- NO, Charlotte shoves Mia away! Charlotte gets under, back suplexes, but Mia lands out! EAT DA FEET!! Cover, ROPEBREAK!! Charlotte’s long legs help her survive by a literal foot! Mia is beside herself while Charlotte bails out. Mia storms after Charlotte, runs up, but Charlotte dodges! Mia’s kick hits steel steps!
Mia hobbles away, goes to the apron, but Charlotte CHOP BLOCKS the bad leg out! Charlotte grabs Mia’s leg, drops a KNEE on the knee, but fans chant, “We Want Tiffy!” Charlotte just steps through, FIGURE FOUR, into FIGURE EIGHT!! Mia taps, Charlotte wins!
Winner: Charlotte Flair, by submission
Charlotte got more of a fight out of Mia than expected, but she still won. Will The Queen be more than ready to reign again after WrestleMania?
Backstage interview with Tiffany Stratton.
Jackie Redmond is with the WWE Women’s Champion and says Charlotte certainly looks confident. Let’s be real, Charlotte came at Tiff pretty hard. It got a lot of people talking. Tiff says yes, people talk. And Charlotte sure loves to hear herself talk. Ten years into the business and Charlotte is still so insecure that she can’t let a “rookie” get a word out. But last week, Tiff did learn something: She learned that walking into WrestleMania, she isn’t the one with something to lose. Truth is, if Tiff loses, then she lost to the great Charlotte Flair, as just a 25-year-old rookie with one year into SmackDown.
But if Charlotte loses… Well, then she lost to an “undeserving, delusional, unoriginal, backflip doing, blonde-hair-having, little girl.” Did she get it all? And Tiff can’t wait to hear the look on Charlotte’s face when they hear the words, “And STILL!” Then maybe Charlotte will finally shut up for the sake of literally everyone! They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, and Tiff will make damn sure what stays is Charlotte’s massive ego. Tiff is walking into and out of Mania as the WWE Women’s Champion. Tootles! Tiff heads out, will it still be #TiffyTime after WrestleMania?
Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre!
The Viper told Cody how proud he was, but also how he wants the next shot after John Cena. The Scottish Terminator took offense to that, and basically said he is taking that shot instead. Will this match be an unofficial #1 contender’s match between these two former world champions?
SmackDown returns and McIntyre makes his entrance. The bell rings and the fans sing, “OH~, Drew McIntyre~!” and chant “R K O! R K O!” Drew and Orton circle, tie up, and they go around in a deadlock. Drew powers Orton to a corner, but Orton headlocks back. Drew powers up and out, then he runs Orton over! Orton hurries to ropes and Drew mockingly asks, “How’s the back feel, Randy?” Orton stands, he and Drew reset, and the fans duel some more. Drew calls for a knuckle lock, Orton accepts, but then Drew kicks low! Drew bumps Orton off buckles, then climbs up, but he panders for too long and Orton YANKS him down!
The fans fire up as Orton climbs now! Orton rains down fists, and the fans count to nine. Orton hops down, brings Drew around, and POSTS him for ten! Drew tumbles out of the ring, Orton goes out after him, and they’re by the desk! But Drew kicks Orton first and SMACKS him off the desk! Drew clears the desk, and he brings Orton up for the DESK- NO, Orton fights free! Orton turns things around, DESK BACK SUPLEX for Drew! The fans fire up while Orton leaves Drew behind, and SmackDown goes picture in picture.
Drew writhes on the floor, but Orton goes out to fetch him! Orton brings Drew around, UPPERCUTS him, then says one more time! DESK BACK SUPLEX! Drew writhes as that desk stays standing! Orton grins, refreshes the ring count, and then he storms up on Drew. Drew pokes Orton in the eye! Drew POSTS Orton now, then brings him around to RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP into barriers! Orton slumps down, and Drew also grits his teeth from that double-edged attack, but Drew fires up as he stands tall. Drew drags Orton up, puts him in the ring, then stalks Orton. Drew looms over Orton, and HIP DROPS him!
Orton sputters, Drew says one more time, and he winds up for the HIP DROP! Drew paces around Orton, says maybe one more time, and he pretends he can’t hear the fans. Drew winds up again, but Orton flips over! Hip drop meets kneecaps! And then Orton pokes Drew in the eyes! The ref reprimands but Orton rises up. Drew sputters and flounders, Orton ROCKS him with a right! Drew ROCKS Orton back! Drew storms up, Orton kicks low, but Drew fires another haymaker! The haymakers go back and forth, Orton gets the edge, but Drew GLASGOW KISS HEADBUTTS! Cover, TWO! Drew clamps onto Orton with an armlock!
SmackDown returns to single picture and the fans rally up. Orton fights up, pries at the chinbar, and then throws right hands! Drew CHOPS Orton in return! The fans “WOO~” and Drew winds up. Drew ROCKS Orton again, eggs him on, then CHOPS again! Drew shoves Orton to a corner, CHOPS again, then dares Orton to fight! Drew whips corner to corner, but Orton comes back to LARIAT! And LARIAT! Drew swings, Orton dodges, SNAP POWERSLAM! The fans fire up as Orton stalks Drew to the apron. Drew HOTSHOTS Orton first! Drew then runs in, but Orton puts him through the ropes!
The fans fire up as Orton has Drew for the DRAPING DDT! The fans fire up for Orton, and Orton hears those voices! Drew rises, but then Orton spots KEVIN OWENS! The Prizefighter is on the ramp, Orton glares at him, but then he turns around into a CLAYMORE!! Cover, DREW WINS!
Winner: Drew McIntyre, by pinfall
Kevin’s mere presence costs Orton, and now Drew has a huge win propelling him down the Road to WrestleMania! As for Orton, Kevin drags him out of the ring, SMACKS him off the desk, and then climbs up to join him! The fans boo but Kevin and his hot pink sneakers have Orton in position, but Orton slips free and TRIPS Kevin up! Kevin hits the desk then the floor! Orton staggers around, the fans rally behind him, and Orton stalks Kevin to the corner of the barriers. Orton lines up the shot! Orton runs in, but Kevin jumps over barriers! Security is there to stop Orton from pursuing, so Kevin runs away into the night!
The fans boo, but The Viper was that close! Will Orton be able to strike Kevin down and completely take him out?
Fire, thunder, smoke…
The force of nature is drawing ever closer. And he’s ready to fly! REY FENIX arrives next Friday Night SmackDown!
Jimmy Uso VS The Miz!
#BigJim gave Gunther a piece of his mind and a mark on his cheek, but it seems not everyone got the message. Will the Hollywood A-lister soon star in the Uso Penitentiary? Or will he prove Jimmy is NOT ready for a world champion level opponent?
The bell rings and the two tie up. Jimmy powers Miz to a corner, Miz turns things around, and the ref counts. Miz takes a swing, Jimmy ducks it to CHOP! And CHOP! Miz shoves Jimmy back, then runs up, but Jimmy TACKLES Miz! Jimmy rains down fists, Miz shoves him away to go to ropes, but Jimmy storms back up. Miz ELBOWS Jimmy away, then runs back up, only for Jimmy to LARIAT him down! The fans fire up while Jimmy storms up on Miz. Jimmy CHOPS Miz, has him in a corner, then whips corner to corner. Miz reverses, Jimmy goes up and over, then UPPERCUTS! Miz staggers back to ropes, but Jimmy is right on him.
Jimmy whips, Miz reverses and kitchen sink knees! Then basement BOOTS! The fans fire up, Miz scowls, and Miz KNEES Jimmy in the back again and again. Miz stalks Jimmy to the ropes now, and he CHOKES Jimmy! The ref counts, Miz runs, and Miz STRADDLE ATTACKS! The fans boo, but Miz runs again. Jimmy ducks the boot, then dodges a lariat! Jimmy runs up to LARIAT Miz up and out! The fans fire up and Jimmy builds speed, but Miz runs away! Jimmy smirks as he goes out the side, and UPPERCUTS Miz over the barriers! Jimmy makes sure Gunther knows he’s coming to get him, but SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns and both men are down. Miz and Jimmy crawl, and Jimmy pounds the mat. The fans rally, Jimmy rises and runs up to LARIAT! And LARIAT! And mule kick! Jimmy then UPPERCUTS Miz, dodges a lariat, then SAMOAN DROPS! The fans fire up, Jimmy goes to the corner, “UCE! OH!” Jimmy runs in, but Miz puts him on the apron! Jimmy UPPERCUTS again! Jimmy climbs, leaps, but Miz gets under! Miz then waistlocks, ripcords, and MOVIE MAKER! Fans boo that blatant parody, but Miz full nelsons! Jimmy drops, victory rolls, TWO! Miz has the cover, TWO! Miz hurries to BASEMENT DDT! Cover, TWO!
The fans rally up as Jimmy survives! Miz stalks Jimmy, the fans rally up more, and Miz fires a KICK! And then another KICK! The fans say “YES! YES! YES!” to the It Kicks, but then Miz winds up. Jimmy ducks the buzzsaw, Miz blocks the superkick, but the DRAGON WHIP connects! Miz rebounds to B-MOVIE KNEE!! Cover, TWO!! The parodies don’t get it done, but Miz still has his original work to fall back on. The fans rally for “UCE! OH! UCE! OH!” Miz runs in, A-LIST LARIAT! Miz shoves Jimmy down, then springboards, but into a SUPERKICK! Jimmy hurries up top, for the USO SPLASH!! Cover, Jimmy wins!
Winner: Jimmy Uso, by pinfall
Miz may be a movie star, but Big Jim’s the one winning this main event! Jimmy then borrows Joe Tessitore’s headset to call out Gunther! He’s coming after dat ass on Monday! Gunther won’t be the ring general, he will be “Private Gunther,” and he will salute Big Jim! Uh, uh, YEET! Will Jimmy be the one making examples out of the World Heavyweight Champion? Or will everything come crashing down when Gunther gets his turn?
Drew McIntyre returns backstage.
And he says hey to Lewis Capaldi, the Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter, and also a big fan of Drew’s. They’re ready to have a good night in the pub, but Jackie Redmond walks over to congratulate him on the win tonight. She was hoping to get some thoughts on that victory and what happened with Orton and Kevin. Drew says it’s alright, this is what happens. He doesn’t care about anybody else’s business, but no one gets away with screwing him over. And when no one meddles in his business, he wins! Drew called out Priest, where is he? Priest doesn’t have the balls! So time to get mad in the pubs, everyone’s invited!
Drew turns the corner, but PRIEST IS THERE! Priest ROCKS Drew, SMACKS him off the door, then throws him into road cases! Priest ROCKS Drew, SMACKS him off the trunk of a car, and then again! Or since it’s London, “the boot.” The driver complains, but Priest BODY SLAMS that guy through a table! Drew comes back to KNEE Priest low, SMACK him off the trunk, and then off the side! They go to the hood, or bonnet for UK. Drew drags Priest up, but Priest CLAWS Drew’s eyes! Priest then sends Drew SOUTH OF HEAVEN through the windshield! Priest tells security that he’s done for now. Any more jokes, Drew? Didn’t think so! RIP, jackass!
Priest leaves, the producers hurry to help Drew, and Drew’s got glass in his eye! Will that glass help Drew see why he shouldn’t piss off the Punisher?
CM Punk heads to gorilla.
He has a security detail with him, and he passes by Drew writhing in pain. Punk chuckles, then continues on. Will his contract signing with Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins be just as brutal? We find out, after the break.
Nick Aldis is in the ring.
The SmackDown General Manager welcomes us back, and says it is his honor and privilege to be here in the O2 in London. Now, we all know why he and this table is here, and why additional security is here tonight. Tonight, we are here to sign a contract for a Triple Threat. Perhaps the biggest Triple Threat in the history of WrestleMania: Seth Rollins VS CM Punk VS Roman Reigns! The fans cheer all those names, and here comes the OTC! London puts the ones up, and Paul Heyman accompanies THE Tribal Chief out on stage. Roman raises his finger to the sky for the pyro, then security follows him to the ring.
SmackDown goes picture in picture as Roman’s entrance continues, and he raises his finger to the sky for the second round of pyro. Roman steps into the ring, SmackDown returns to single picture, and Heyman hands him a mic. The fans sing, “ROMAN! ROMAN REIGNS~!” Roman nods, the fans cheer, and now they chant, “O T C! O T C!” Roman tells London, “ACKNOWLEDGE ME!” The fans cheer again, and again chant, “O T C! O T C!” Roman smiles, but he sees the chairs are not to his liking. Heyman makes sure to put one at the head of the table. Heyman also dusts the chair off while Roman enjoys the singing of, “ROMAN! ROMAN REIGNS~!”
Roman takes a seat and says that was beautiful. The way they sing to their Tribal Chief, it’s just beautiful. The singing continues, and Heyman even joins in! Roman smiles, and he says that is what he’s talking about. That’s the OTC for you, baby! The biggest star on the planet! The OTC came here for two reasons. One: to be acknowledged; check! And two: to sign this contract. Roman does just that, and he says he’s checked both boxes. That means- “BURN IT DOWN!” Seth Rollins interrupts! The fans now sing, “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~!” Rollins struts out in his red wine paisley suit and conducts the O2 Choir all the way into the ring.
The fans cheer while Roman frowns, but Rollins takes the seat to Roman’s left. Rollins offers Heyman a chance to sing to this song, but Heyman frowns. Rollins chuckles, and he says the fans do have beautiful singing voices. He doesn’t know why Roman is in such a hurry to leave, though! This is their building! There’s a lot of history here! 12 years ago, they landed on the roof of this place in a helicopter! They came down those stairs over there, “ready to burn down the old guard!” They put the Undertaker down through the desk, and they were going to remake this company in their image!
Now don’t get him wrong, Rollins knows a lot has happened since then. They fought against each other, with each other, a little bit of love and a whole lot of hate. But Rollins dare says, as the fans continue to sing “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~,” that Rollins and Roman accomplished their mission. The fans start to chant for CM Punk, but Rollins tunes them out. Roman says, “We? We? You keep saying we. Our mission? We died a long time ago. It’s only been ME. You been here, but I done all the work! I’ve made this place what it is today! I took us to the level that we are here today! I made this place better than we found it!
“I’m the one that made us desirable to Netflix! I’m the one that took us into billion-dollar deals! Tell me, what have you done?” Rollins shouts, “I’ll tell you what I’ve done! YOU, YOU, YOU, it’s that mindset that keeps me having to screw you! You understand that? And your biggest mistake is not understanding the danger that’s right in front of us! The danger that’s right in front of you! You let the biggest snake in the world, CM Punk, into the garden! And you could’ve cut his head off at WarGames! But instead, you shook his hand. You could’ve let me finish him inside the cage at The Garden, but you didn’t. And now, I am left to do what I always do: Clean up your mess, again.”
Rollins drops his mic, picks up the pen, and signs his part. And now, here comes CM PUNK! The fans fire up and sing along with Cult of Personality, then join in on saying, “IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME~!” Punk goes to the ring, but as he grabs a mic, he goes up a corner, just like he did last Friday. “I have come here to chew bubblegum and sign a contract. And I’m all outta bubblegum.” The fans cheer the Rowdy Roddy Piper reference, and Punk hops down to take his seat on Roman’s right. Punk looks over said contract, but Roman asks if Punk needs a highlighter or something. What’s he doing? Just go to page four, clause five.
Punk does as Roman says, but Roman says Punk needs to hurry, this is precious TV time. Punk reads the segment, Roman tells Heyman to just smarten Punk up. Heyman tells Punk he knows what Punk is looking for. It is in there. They’re closing the show at WrestleMania. The fans go wild hearing that! Heyman tells Punk that he gets to live his dream of dreams. CM Punk will be a WrestleMania main eventer! The fans cheer and while Roman smiles, Rollins is furious. Roman says, “One man’s dream is another man’s favor! CHECK!” Wait, this was the favor? Rollins says no! This is not something to laugh at, and Punk does not get to tear up!
Punk is NOT deserving! He does NOT deserve this! The fans boo but Rollins continues to throw a fit! Main eventing WrestleMania is SACRED, the most important thing in the world to Rollins! More than anything! Except the fact that Punk NEVER gets to main event! This is all Roman’s fault! This is all Heyman’s fault! Rollins THROWS his mic down, paces angrily, but Punk picks up the mic. The fans cheer Punk on again, and Punk stands to thank London, to thank Chicago, to thank Louisville, Kentucky, and to thank ALL the fans. As corny as it sounds, he thanks the WWE Universe who stood by him and chanted his name for TEN LONG YEARS!
Roman says hold on, hold on. Punk shouldn’t be thanking the fans! He should be thanking the Tribal Chief! It is because of Roman that Punk gets this honor! So please, take this moment, close the show with that acknowledgement! Do this the right way. The credits are already rolling as Punk kneels before Roman!? Punk smiles, and he thanks “My Tribal Chief, the holder of the ula fala, the Head of the Table, the… Big Dog? Thank you for allowing a kid from Chicago to be graced by your presence. Thank you, My Tribal Chief, for allowing me to stand in your ring. And thank you so much. Thank you, Roman Reigns, so very much.
“But because of you, I will see you in the main event of WrestleMania.” And again, Rollins is agonizing over this. Punk finishes putting his signature on the contract, and London tells him, “You Deserve It!” Punk thanks Roman again, and then says, “But that’s not the favor that I’m owed.” WHAT?! Roman looks at Heyman and Heyman can’t look him in the eye! If getting this Triple Threat made into the main event isn’t the gift of the Wise Man, then what is?!
My Thoughts:
A good SmackDown, but they pulled off quite the paradox. They made it feel like they were struggling to fill three hours, yet they also filled the show to the point where that contract signing segment was almost bleeding over the three hour mark. Ironically, part of the problem was just how excited the London crowd was for this. The superstars still wanted to enjoy the chants and songs, but that’s time SmackDown doesn’t have to spare. It made the opening promo from Cody, Orton and Drew take longer, and it kinda did the same to the contract signing at the end. Even so, we still got a very good promo, and good stuff to set up Orton VS McIntyre.
Orton VS McIntyre was a great match, but of course Kevin costs Orton. McIntyre gets his win, Kevin and Orton have a bit of a brawl, but of course Kevin ends up on the losing end and runs off. McIntyre’s trash talk also comes back to bite him as Priest gets the better of him in their brawl. Here’s hoping Drew didn’t actually get glass in his eye, but that being the thing in kayfabe can be some good stuff. I can imagine McIntyre with an eyepatch, and he takes it off at the opportune time to get the better of Priest in their match. Also what a fitting choice for Punk to be passing by Drew suffering because of real glass.
Very good title matches tonight, but of course the status quo was kept. Pretty Deadly gets to look great here in London, but the Profits only just got the belts, they’re not going to be transitional champions like that. And Knight VS Braun was really good stuff, but honestly, Jacob Fatu going after them both should’ve been a given. Jacob also had a great promo with Solo & Tama to start adding to that divide between Jacob and Solo. I would hope Solo doesn’t screw Jacob out of the US Championship, but it feels like he will as Solo won’t stand for Jacob defying his authority, even though Solo’s been trying to make Jacob the champion all along.
Very good stuff from Jimmy Uso tonight, from his promo with #MeloDon’tMiz and then a great match with Miz. Their match ended up the de facto main event match, so that’s also great for both guys. Great win for Jimmy, but that’s likely because Jimmy is losing big time to Gunther on Monday. And it might just be me, but it feels like only now is the Jey VS Gunther build really moving, largely in part because Jimmy got involved. Jimmy’s promo after his match is something along the lines of what Jey should be saying. But I suppose as brothers, Jimmy is the one who knows Jey best and knows what Jey needs to be motivated again. And seeing Jimmy get beat up by Gunther will definitely motivate Jey…
Good final vignettes for Rey Fenix and Aleister Black. I’m a little surprised they confirmed Rey Fenix is showing up next week, and that they confirmed who Rey Fenix even is. I believe commentary confirmed Rey Fenix is Penta’s real brother, even namedropped “Lucha Brothers,” but all that is still surprising considering Fenix is going to start on SmackDown. Aleister’s vignette (at least I am fairly confident it’s his) was giving us glimpses of his silhouette, but I think there was usage of AI in the snake imagery. It was fine they did it for El Grande Americano because that is all trolling, but they really should try and do things the old fashioned way of photoshop and stock imagery.
Very good stuff in the Women’s Division tonight, though the WWE Women’s Championship portion was the weaker. Naomi’s got a great Heel persona going, her promo was great, and her going after B-Fab & Michin over them supporting Jade was a great detail. Jade runs Naomi off, helps B-Fab, but there was no helping Michin in being fed to Charlotte. Tiffany had a decent promo, and it does fit how Charlotte kept her from speaking so she finally gets things out here. It didn’t really add that much, though, but they already gave us a great brawl so not sure what more they can give.
KC Squared VS The Secret Her-vice was a very good match, but of course Chelsea made sure her team won. A Six Woman Tag of Zelina & KC Squared VS The Green Administration is certainly coming, to help give us Zelina VS Chelsea for the Women’s US Championship.
My Score: 8.7/10
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Coverage
Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 3.27.2025
Bad news out of the TNA management side, but this is a taped episode from El Paso! So we won’t see any of the fallout just yet!

Now we all heard the news about the TNA change in hierarchy, and I…have no positive outlook on that. Delirious sucked at booking and creative in the dying days of ROH before it got bought as a B show. Dreamer having even more control is concerning because his ideas the last two years haven’t been much better.
Gail leaving makes more sense to me. Be it firing or a “you can’t quit, you’re fired” kind of situation, the Knockouts division is the worst it’s been in a long time and Gail was close with Scott D’Amore. So I don’t think Gail parting ways is as big of a problem since TNA has slowly been bleeding out with the Scott faithful.
Granted, I think the next few shows were already taped before the firing so things shouldn’t be completely unwatchable for at least a week or two. So let’s see where we’re going.
.@WeAreRosemary sends @XiaBrookside a CHILLING message!
WATCH #TNAiMPACT on TNA+: https://t.co/LaVxF6l2yc pic.twitter.com/srciTTbel0
— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) March 28, 2025
Ratings:
- Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley vs Elegance Clique w/Personal Concierge: Ash wins via Rarefied Air – ** 1/4
- Fir$t Cla$$ & Frankie Kazarian vs Laredo Kid, Octagon Jr & Chavo Guerrero Jr: Chavo wins via Gory Bomb into Frog Splash – *** 1/4
- Jacy Jayne vs Masha Slamovich: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – ***
- Eric Young w/two losers vs Ace Austin: Eric wins via Piledriver – ** 1/2
- Seto & Mokuba – I mean – Nic Nemeth w/Ryan Nemeth vs Leon Slater: Nic wins via Danger Zone – *** 1/4
Results:
Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley vs Elegance Clique w/Personal Concierge
Ash and Gigi start off, Gigi with a little Rascalz after her first takedown. So both her and Wentz are making it obvious something’s going on between them, and I’m not mad at it. Good for my man Wentz.
Tatum and Gigi get some quick tandem offense in, Ash does manage to scurry off to a tag and Heather gets bent into a Pretzel. Some kind of Inverted Tarantula from Tatum, Gigi tags in, Bronco Buster on Heather followed by Kawada Kicks. Heather sells against the ropes, Gigi goes for a Hesitation Dropkick, but Concierge pulls her away so Gigi crashes and burns. Ref is distracted, Ash gets in some cheap shots and then the Elegant duo starts working over Gigi. A few quick tags, but once Heather comes in, Gigi fights out of the corner, gets the hot tag to Tatum. Tatum stacks up both Elegance members, Corner Stacked Crossbody, Butterfly Suplex and an Elbow Drop with some some flare. Tatum goes to the top rope, Heather pulls Gigi off the apron, Concierge shoves Tatum off the turnbuckle and Ash hits Rarefied Air for the win.
Post match the Elegance Clique wants to make their wish with the cake, they light the candles and Tatum and Gigi recover enough to do what we all expected last week, the cake in the face spot. Some…suggestive licking from both of our Hot Topic Hotties, so…no complaints here.
.@Ashamae_Sebera, @Heathereckless and @IamGeorgeIceman are having a meltdown!
WATCH #TNAiMPACT on TNA+: https://t.co/LaVxF6l2yc pic.twitter.com/FnKwPqm2ff
— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) March 28, 2025
Fir$t Cla$$ & Frankie Kazarian vs Laredo Kid, Octagon Jr & Chavo Guerrero Jr
Chavo and Kaz start since he’s King Petty, a quick rope run turns into a Headscissor from Chavo. Kaz recovers, they lock up, Kaz hits the Knee Lift during the lock up to tag out to KC. KC pulls off some athletic dodges, gloats a bit so Chavo waits, measures and nails a gorgeous Dropkick. Laredo comes in on fire, quick high spots that send KC bouncing around like HBK against Hulk. KC powders after sells the Satellite Takedown, AJ checks on him and we go to commercial.
Back from commercial, Octagon is lighting up KC’s chest with overhand chops, he perches, Sunset Headscissor Flip from corner to corner, KC tries to Back Drop him but Octagon does a headstand, kicks KC away and lays him out with a high spot. AJ gets on the apron to stop Octagon from running the ropes, the referee has a stroke or something because he stops paying attention and AJ pulls Octagon out of the ring and chucks him. KC with the Tope con Hilo and tag (tag ropes haven’t mattered since the 80s we all know this). So AJ is getting taunted by the crowd in Spanish, but he’s manhandling Octagon since it looks like a Child fighting their parent. AJ knocks off Chavo and Laredo, Laredo pops up and tries to get involved but he’s caught on the shoulders, Octagon goes for the Crossbody but gets caught and AJ pulls off “World’s Strongest Wasteland” but Chavo breaks up the pinfall. AJ throws Octagon into the corner, Tennessee Whiskey, and tag out to KC. KC hits a few moves, but starts to lose the momentum until he connects with a Super Kick. Simultaneous rope run into the Dueling Crossbodies, so we get the timely tag outs from both sides. Kaz and Laredo come in, Laredo lands like two moves before Kaz hits a Sole Butt, Lariat and eats his lunch. KC and Kaz try to double team Laredo but he fights out and the crowd is chanting for Chavo.
Chavo tags in, and he’s rocking KC, Saito Suplex, Low Bridge to AJ, Reverse the Whip so Chavo goes to the corner and perches, KC feeds, Chavo Backflips to safety, rolls through and lays out KC. Chavo is feeling himself, 3 Amigos start on KC but only 2, Kaz comes in and Chavo switches to Kaz for the Amigos, only 2 again before AJ breaks it up. AJ goes for the disrespect, but Chavo counters and hits the 3 Amigos on the biggest Culero. Aztec Warriors dive to stop AJ and Kaz, KC tries a Dirty Victory Roll but Chavo kicks out. GORY BOMB into FROG SPLASH!
Chavo looked fantastic and he’s the one in the best shape in the ring. I wouldn’t be mad at more Chavito.
Jacy Jayne vs Masha Slamovich
I expect very little from this match.
Collar and Elbow, gator rolling for the first 30 seconds or so, then Jacy goes to some Hair Pull takedowns and does a little taunt before Masha pops back up and hits a Lariat into a Dive. Jacy sells it like she’s really hurt, even the ref tries to hold Masha back a little before Masha gets annoyed and just grabs her, Masha throws her in, looks for a Dive and Jacy sees it and powders. Masha tries to go back to the well for the Dive again but Jacy hits the Uppercut and then an Apron Run PK to drop Masha. Forearms rain down into a Foot Choke as Jacy continues to arrogantly play to the crowd. Another Foot Choke into a Cannonball, and near fall.
Masha gets space with a Sole Butt, tries to snap off Requiem but Jacy fights off, fights through a Sunset Flip another effective PK keeps Masha on her ass. Jacy looks for a kinda half-assed Camel Clutch as Masha is fighting up, but Jacy runs her into the corner, gets distracted mouthing off to the crowd, so Masha recovers, 5 Hole Up Kick sends Jacy into the corner, Yakuza Kick into Capo Kick for two. Requiem attempt again, but Jacy pushes off, a little back and forth, Masha tries a Backslide but Jacy gets away and hits a V-Trigger but only a 2 count. Jacy looks for the Discus Punch but Masha ducks it, they strike back and forth, but some dodges from both leave the exchange more even. Jacy with the Front Kick to the face sends Masha to the outside. Jacy wants another PK, but Masha blocks, Electric Chair Apron Snake Eyes. Masha throws her in, a PK into a near all. Requiem attempt 3, and thwarted from Jacy with a Superkick into a Neckbreaker. Senton misses from Jacy, Buzzsaw Kick, into Spinning Back Kick and Russian Death Device for the win.
Better than I expected, and Tessa attacks as soon as the bell rings. Xia Brookside and Lei Ying Li make the save after Tessa grabs the belt.
Eric Young w/two losers vs Ace Austin
Ace and Eric tie up, World of Sport start but as soon as Ace starts to get away EY punches him in the face. Eric looks at the camera and says “This is what trust looks like”, turns his back on Ace, when Ace looks to attack, the loser duo cut him off. EY takes advantage of the weird situation, but Ace with some Up and Over quick spots, into an Inside Cradle and La Magistral. EY kicks out of the quick flash attempts, but eats a Dropkick, and Ace goes all Speed Kils on him with fast strikes and then a face buster for another near fall. Strike spot very early in the match, Ace gets the best of it, goes for a Tear Drop Suplex but EY sits on it to block, Headlocks to keep him close and then a snap Lariat into beatdown bully tactics. EY takes the referee’s attention and one of the nerds punch Ace in the face.
Eric tries to lean on Ace, but Ace fires, a few strikes, Click Click Boom, the Miz Seated Lariats in the corner, Mochizuki Triangle Kick connects! Only a 2 count, but Ace seems to be in control. Ace puts EY on the ropes, a few strikes to keep him rocked, wants a Superplex, but EY blocks, bites the face and Macho Elbow gets a very close two count. EY tries the Piledriver but Ace turns it into a Jacknife Cradle,Spinning Heel Kick, calls for The Fold, but the losers hop on the apron to distract, Ace attacks them. Ace tries to time out the Triangle Kick again, but Eric dodges, throws Ace head first through the buckles. As Ace stumbles out of the corner, Piledriver, and it’s over.
Oh look it’s the “we’ll hear from Joe Hendry” segment. Again, I’ve loved this gimmick since Day 1, even didn’t hate his What Culture Pro stuff, but there is such a thing as milking a cow too much.
Elijah interrupts the whole “Who’s next” speech. When Elijah comes out he says he’s not the challenger and he believes in Joe. The crowd wants Elijah to turn on Hendry. Elijah pauses for a moment, and starts proving his friendship with stating his favorite color and a little “You Got a Friend in Me”. The crowd is into singing along and waving their cameras like Lighters to a 30 year old song. THANKFULLY Kaz breaks up the hug fest. Now he gets the “Culero” chant.
Kaz pulls out a Bass…what the hell is this Jam Session. Kaz has to warm up so he plays “La Cucaracha” on the bass. Kaz…is a national treasure. Hendry kicks Kaz out of the ring after his Heelish and playfully racially charged song choices. Kaz tries to sow dissension, but Joe and Elijah pinball Kaz between them. Kaz slips a power move and tries to shove Elijah into Joe but Elijah puts the brakes on, a small tense moment. But then Joe and Elijah play “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey, Goodbye”…and that goes right into a commercial. Oddly…perfect.
Nic Nemeth w/Ryan Nemeth vs Leon Slater
Nic shoots the half immediately for a flash pinfall but Leon kicks out at one. Nic continues to keep things grounded with his amateur wrestling skills, and then does a little Dolph Ziggler show off. So Nic isn’t really taking this seriously, and Leon starts getting the best of things with an Arm Wringer, into drag, Shoulder Tackle and rope run as Nic tries to Leap Frog and Leon puts on the brakes and just shoves Nic on his ass. Nic gets annoyed, a few strikes, grinds his face along the ropes, but Leon keeps stringing some offense together, Back Handspring Elbow into his Corner con Hilo.
Ahh the classic formula of the commercial gives the heel the advantage, Twisting Suplex from Leon stops Nic’s offense momentum, right hand, Leon lifts Nic up for something, Nic slips it, kicks him in the gut, looks for the FameAsser, but Leon catches him into a Blue Thunder Bomb variation. Slater wants the Swanton 450, but Nic powders. Leon tries to adjust into a Dive, but Nic cuts him off, counter for counter and a FameAsser out of the counters for a two count. Nic starts the big brother tactics, bootwashes and arrogance, Slater fires, punches into a Yakuza Kick. Leon wants another Lethal Injection variant, but Nic catches him into a Rear Naked Choke. Slater tries to turn it into a pin so Nic breaks it. Leon wants a Leg Lariat but misses and gets unceremoniously dropped by Nic. Nic puts Leon up on the buckles, Superplex possibly but Slater counters, tries to collect himself for a move, but Nic falls into the ropes to crotch Leon, and finally hits the Superplex.
Twist of Slate from Leon, Swanton 450 but knees get up. Locomotion Cradles from both but they kick out, Ryan picks the ankle to trip up Leon just a touch and then Danger Zone ends the match.
Ryan starts the post match beatdown, but the Hardy’s music hits and they come down to the ring for the save. Matt challenges the Nemeths for Rebellion because they’re not medically cleared yet.
Overall Score: 6.5/10
Decent story motion, no match was offensive, and there was actually some solid match action for television standards. I don’t have a ton to complain about aside from the Knockouts Division is in a weird spot, and giving Hendry a lot of just talking and hollow payoff segments feels stupid. If we need to hear from him every week, give him a talk segment like Highlight Reel or something. Yes I know First Class just got The Penthouse, but if Hendry is going to talk more than wrestle, give him a talk segment for us to sink our teeth into.
There was the announcement that Xia, Lei Ying and Masha will face Tessa, Jacy and a mystery partner. So you gotta wonder if there’s going to be another NXT mercenary, a surprise return or if it’ll just be Rosemary since she’s got her issues with Xia. Also I just realized that Unbreakable is going to be on a Thursday, seemingly after iMPACT? I’m gonna have to see how they do it, because if there’s an Impact episode and 2-3 hour PLE…I do not want to be awake until 1am. People need to work, and I will be Unwakeable if things go that long.
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