Opinion

The Exposed Turnbuckle: 1000 Deaths

Published

7 years ago

July 3, 2018

by: Mike Neon

Melissa Santos’ voice trembled with the final announcement “here is your winner, Mil Muertes.” As an ornate coffin containing the brutalized body of Fenix was hauled away in a ceremonial manner by a brigade of people in costumes and face paint resembling a “Dia de los Muertos” celebration. It was beautiful and surreal.

Meanwhile the ring was in shambles, covered with blood and Mil’s valet Catrina was making strange advances towards a coffin. This match, billed as a “Three way to the Grave” by current proprietor of “The Ice Temple” Antonio Cueto, was an absolute symphony of carnage between Fenix, Mil Muertes, and Jeremiah Crane (whom you may recognize as “The Draw” Sami Callahan from Impact). All 3 linked together by association or former association with the dark and mysterious Catrina who has an obsession with licking enemies in a disturbingly erotic fashion that one could only associate with the Sicilian kiss of death.

The match itself featured breathtaking brutality, that was awe inspiring and had the bloodthirsty “believers” on their feet in the temple. From the high flying luchador Fenix launching himself onto both Muertes and Crane, the combatants throwing each other down the concrete steps, and then using a trio of ornately decorated caskets to destroy their opponents bodies and even the ring itself. At one point the bloodthirsty “believers” exploded with glee as Ivelisse, Jeremiah Crane’s former lover ran into the ring and beat him bloody with a hammer until it broke, before sealing him into a casket and eliminating him from the match.

After several minutes of intense brutality, a bleeding and battered Fenix (who shared a romantic vignette with ring announcer Melissa Santos before the match, where she expressed concern for his well being) was stuffed into a coffin by Mil Muertes, leaving his fate to the gods, or possibly Catrina, whom asked for this match in the first place as it would somehow get her closer to regaining her powers and free her from being stuck in between the realm of the living and the spirit world, by taking Fenix’s soul.

1000 Deaths – Mike Neon

As amazing as this all sounds, this is pretty much an average day in The Ice Temple, the setting of season 4 of Lucha Underground on the El Rey Network. A place where the magic of the pro-wrestling world is still strong. A place for those of us who yearn for the days of The Undertaker and the supernatural elements that he brought into the world of professional wrestling throughout his career.

The Ice Temple has the appearance of an asylum for the strange and unusual in the wrestling world run now, by Antonio Cueto, after his son Dario, the former proprietor was killed during the end of season 3. The senior Cueto, appears to be a pragmatic businessman who exalts bloodshed and carnage. As a result of this, his booking in ruthless and some might say “cruel”. I prefer the term opportunistic (as I often do). He appears to delight in giving the bloodthirsty “believers” who attend the tapings in his temple exactly the kind of violence that they delight in.

Antonio Cueto – @papacueto

At the end of this episode we get a deeper glimpse into the inner workings of Cueto’s mind and motivation as he tells his son “the monster Matanza” (coming off a championship loss to Lucha Underground champion Pentagon Dark) that he had “failed him” as a father, by asking the gods favor to retain a sliver of his humanity, but that same humanity made him weak.

“The one thing I will not tolerate is weakness” said Antonio, which is a sentiment I can absolutely co-sign on. The father then encouraged the son to destroy the key which housed his soul and the remainder of his humanity, to become a god, which he did obediently. Only 3 episodes into this season of Lucha Underground, and I have no idea at this point what to expect but I am delighted as these sinister stories unfold on the El Rey Network.

I will for one moment bring up a serious matter, and I rarely do this, but in this case it is a matter of importance to fans of Lucha Underground on the El Rey Network. Due to contractual disputes between Dish (the parent company of Sling) and Univision, The El Rey Network, is currently unavailable on the Sling service, which is very unfortunate for those of us in the wrestling community who are often on the go, or have limited funds to invest in the larger cable packages it takes to access El Rey. The El Rey Network, Lucha Underground and even Cueto himself have made appeals to wrestling fans to spread the word, and make some noise for a resolution to this dispute so that more fans will have access to this unique and wonderful show.

Follow @TheRealMikeNeon for the latest in insights into the “dark” side of wrestling.

See his original art and webcasts @neoncolosseum

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Related Topics:Antonio Cueto Catrina El Rey Network Featured Featured Big Fenix Jeremiah Crane Lucha Underground Matanza Cueto Mil Muertes Pentagon Dark

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Opinion

Chairshot Staff Picks: Money In The Bank

Extra, extra read all about it… Chairshot Staff picks are in!!!

Published

15 hours ago

June 6, 2025

PC Tunney

Sing it with me… money money money money moneeeeeeeeeyeeeeee… everybody’s got a price! MONEY IN THE BANK is here!!! How money will our staff picks be?!?

AJ – Roxanne Perez
Andrew – Stephanie Vaquer – *Bubba Sparxxx Impression* I don’t tell stories, I let them tell theyself.
Dave – Guilia – A stacked field but I just like her here.
DJ – Naomi
DPP – Roxanne Perez
Jason – Alexa Bliss
Patrick – Roxanne Perez
Rey – Naomi – If Naomi loses, we riot!
Rob – Naomi
Greg – Alexa Bliss – Bliss has had huge reactions since returning and is moving a ton of merch. While I can see them wanting to build Roxanne Perez, Giulia, or Stephanie Vaquer, I think Alexa Bliss.

Tunney’s Take: Rhea Ripley – I’ll make my case short and sweet… Mami in the Bank! You can’t leave that money on the table.

Chairshot Pick – Tie – Naomi 3 & Roxanne Perez 3 (Alexa Bliss 2, Giulia 1, Rhea Ripley 1, Stephanie Vaquer 1)

AJ – LA Knight
Andrew – El Grande Americano – Feels correct given his push and the fact he’s over.
Dave – Seth Rollins – Got to push that new faction.
DJ – LA Knight
DPP – El Grande Americano
Jason – LA Knight
Patrick – Solo Sikoa
Rey – LA Knight – Looks like another push, and he does have history with Cena.
Rob – Solo Sikoa
Greg – Seth Rollins – This company is extremely high in the El Grande Americano gimmick, but this match comes down to Seth Rollins or LA Knight. Given the Rollins storyline, it’s his briefcase to win.

Tunney’s Take: El Grande Americano – Picture this: Chad Gable wins the AAA Mega Championship and El Grande Americano wins MITB! WHAT A SATURDAY in LA!!!

Chairshot Pick – LA Knight 4 (El Grande Americano 3, Seth Rollins 2, Solo Sikoa 2)

AJ – Becky Lynch – Sadly
Andrew – Becky Lynch – I still don’t care about Lyra.
Dave – Lyra Valkyria – Starting to warm up to her and Becky has a lot to do with that.
DJ – Lyra Valkyria
DPP – Becky Lynch
Jason – Becky Lynch
Patrick – Lyra Valkyria
Rey – Becky Lynch – Put some fire on the Irish Beef.
Rob – Becky Lynch
Greg – Becky Lynch – I don’t think you do a rematch here just to have Becky lose again. Unless Bayley shows up to help Lyra.

Tunney’s Take: Becky Lynch – A big part of me feels that winning this title checks off a major box for Becks in her HOF career.

Chairshot Pick – Becky Lynch 8-3

AJ – Cena & Paul
Andrew – Rhodes & Uso – Easy way for Cena to lose without eating the pinfall.
Dave – Rhodes & Uso – Get the QB back on the winning track.
DJ – Rhodes & Uso
DPP – Rhodes & Uso
Jason – Cena & Paul
Patrick – Cena & Paul
Rey – Rhodes & Uso – Heels usually lose these kinds of matches. Logan takes the pin.
Rob – Cena & Paul
Greg – Rhodes & Uso – I hope Jey isn’t an afterthought here like Cody was last fall when he was paired up with Roman. I think Cody pins Cena to set up Cody-Cena 2 at SummerSlam.

Tunney’s Take: Cena & Paul – I don’t think Cena is involved in another loss until he loses the WWE Championship. I also think Logan Paul is NOT done trying to capture Jey Uso’s World Heavyweight Championship. …Travis Scott in the house?

Chairshot Pick – 6-5 Rhodes & Uso

In closing I want to thank everyone on the panel for participating with their picks! You can follow each prognosticator/podcaster on X @ the handles below. We all enjoy Pro Wrestling so remember three things… be respectful of others, comparison is the thief of joy and HAVE FUN!

AJ – @PhenomenalAJB
Andrew – @IWCWarChief
Dave – @AttitudeAgg
DJ – @TheMindlessPod
DPP – @itsmeDPP
Jason – @JediFett
Patrick – @WrestlngRealist
Rey – @itsreycash
Rob – @rbonne1
Greg – @gregdemarco44
PC – @PCTunney
TheChairshot.com – @ChairshotMedia

prowrestlingtees.com/TheChairshot – a PLETHORA of GREAT designs…MAKES A GREAT GIFT!

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SUNDAY – Keeping the news ridiculous… The Oddity / The Front and Center Sports Podcast

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE’s PPV/PLE history)

TheChairshot.com PRESENTS…IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends

Patrick O’Dowd’s 5X5

Classic POD is WAR

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About Chairshot Radio Network

MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)

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CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)

TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends

Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5

Classic POD is WAR

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Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!

Opinion

Chairshot Staff Picks: Backlash St. Louis

Chairshot Staff picks!!!

Published

4 weeks ago

May 9, 2025

PC Tunney

May is upon us and with that, so is Backlash from St. Louis! What does the first PLE after WrestleMania have in store for the WWE Universe? Let’s see if the Chairshot Staff can properly interpret the crystal ball of rasslin’ future.

AJ – Pat MacAfee – Gunther has to start losing control and who better than an announcer.
Andrew – Pat MacAfee – Goldberg getting involved does seem correct here.
Dave – Gunther – He’s not losing to a broadcaster.
DJ – Gunther – Pat is sent to the shadow realm until football season is over.
DPP – Gunther – Post match beat down leads to Pat time off.
Jason – Gunther – One massive spot and or bump from Pat.
Patrick – Gunther
Rey – Gunther – RIP MacAfee, t’was a good life.
Rob – Gunther
Greg – Pat MacAfee – Why? Goooooldbeeerrrrrgggggg!

Tunney’s Take: Gunther – Seems like the right pick here. Pat may be getting some time off and Gunther needs more heat.

Chairshot Pick – GUNTHER 8-3

AJ – Lyra Valkyria – Becky’s hopefully putting her over, still mad about Dakota.
Andrew – Becky Lynch – I have no real interest in Lyra currently.
Dave – Becky Lynch – Lyra is boring AF!
DJ – Lyra Valkyria – Bayley interferes.
DPP – Becky Lynch – Becky cheats and steals the title.
Jason – Lyra Valkyria – Bayley costs Becks.
Patrick – Becky Lynch
Rey – Becky Lynch – Story needs to jump up a bit, Becky Charlotte’s Lyra.
Rob – Lyra Valkyria
Greg – Becky Lynch – It’s been fun, Lyra. (It kinda hasn’t)

Tunney’s Take: Lyra Valkyria – Bayley’s interference should set up some type of program with Becky as we head towards Summer(Slam).

Chairshot Pick – BECKY LYNCH 6-5

AJ – Jacob Fatu – Great way to put him over w/ two former WHCs and LA Knight.
Andrew – Jacob Fatu – He’s Jacob Fatu!
Dave – Jacob Fatu – Too soon to pull the belt off him.
DJ – Jacob Fatu – Priest and LA can’t decide who’s is bigger.
DPP – Jacob Fatu – Your hardcore match, tables and chairs involved.
Jason – Jacob Fatu – The Champ retains due to or in spite of Solo.
Patrick – Jacob Fatu
Rey – Jacob Fatu – All gas. No brakes. Ain’t losing.
Rob – Jacob Fatu
Greg – Jacob Fatu – Someone from The Samoan Dynasty ain’t winning a title just to drop it.

Tunney’s Take: Jacob Fatu – Uncle Mo is on Fatu’s side and other than Knight, I don’t see Drew or Priest holding the US title in the current circumstances of this title’s landscape.

Chairshot Pick – JACOB FATU 11-0

AJ – Dominic Mysterio – Judgement Day shenanigans just leading up to Finn turning on Dom later.
Andrew – Penta – Dom’s fine having a short reign, could also work for pushing AAA.
Dave – Dominic Mysterio – He’s probably more over than Penta.
DJ – Dominic Mysterio – Dirty Dom takes home the gold and the girl.
DPP – Dominic Mysterio – Big Head helps Dom pull out the win.
Jason – Dominic Mysterio – By hook and crook.
Patrick – Dominic Mysterio
Rey – Dominic Mysterio – Latino Heat keeps burning. Finn gets closer to the edge.
Rob – Dominic Mysterio
Greg – Dominic Mysterio – Someone from The Guerrero Dynasty ain’t winning a title just to drop it.

Tunney’s Take: Dominic Mysterio – That belt looks good with the king of chicken tendys. I can see Penta and Rey reforming as a tag team sooner than later.

Chairshot Pick – DOMINIC MYSTERIO 10-1

AJ – John Cena – Why? Cena wins, lol.
Andrew – John Cena – Shenanigans ensue so it’s not a clean win.
Dave – John Cena – The last time is now.
DJ – John Cena – Randy hears voices telling him he needs an Attitude Adjustment.
DPP – John Cena – Cena tries to cheat but the ref doesn’t call for a DQ.
Jason – John Cena – Nefarious means, Randy not ready for Evil John Cena.
Patrick – John Cena
Rey – John Cena – Cena just counting down the dates. Should be fun though.
Rob – John Cena
Greg – John Cena – You know they want Cody to be the hero in the end.

Tunney’s Take: Randy Orton – Once upon a time Randy got himself intentionally disqualified and it cost John. Saturday, history repeats itself with a 180-degree twist. Cena retains via Orton DQ victory. This time, Travis Scott’s appearance takes care of that task.

Chairshot Pick – JOHN CENA 10-1