Impact Coverage

Chris’ IMPACT! Wrestling One Night Only: Night of the Dummies Report

Published

6 years ago

September 17, 2018

Chris Pinheiro

Welcome to a SPECIAL EDITION (the second of the WEEK) of Chris’ IMPACT! Wrestling Results!!

Tonight, is IMPACT! Wrestling’s One Night Only: Night of the Dummies, exclusively on the GWN app

QUICK RESULTS

Jay Freddie d. Isys Ephex – pin fall, Leaping DDT
Fallah Bahh d. “Super Cop” Dick Justice – pin fall, Banzai Drop
Slyck Wagner Brown d. Axel Lennox – pin fall, Top Rope Sit Out Dominator
Alisha d. Rebel – pin fall, Backpack Stunner
Team Tremendous d. Heavenly Bodies – pin fall, Doomsday Sliced Bread, Dan pins Dustin
Street Fight: Santana d. Homicide – pin fall, Frog Splash
Sean Carr d. Brute Vanslyke – pin fall, Swanton Bomb
Moose d. KM – pin fall, Spear
Eddie Edwards d. Eli Drake – pin fall, DDT

___________________________________________________________________________________

IMPACT! Wrestling One Night Only: Night of the Dummies

Coming to you from a really small arena in Binghamton, New York, this is Night of the Dummies (YEAH!)

Match One: Jay Freddie vs Isys Ephex

The ring announcer mistakenly calls this a triple threat match

Josh Matthews and Sonjay Dutt calling the action

Arm ringers from both with some chain wrestling to start. Isis with a huge shoulder tackles, and Jay with a receipt. Two arm drags by Jay and a drop kick to take down Isys. Second drop kick and a cover for two. Jay charges the corner, gets placed on top and kicks away Isys, and hits a missile drop kick. Suicide dive puts Jay into the crowd (as they as SUPER close).

Back in the ring, Jay tries to hit a cross body, Isys tries a backbreaker counter and misses. Seated arm bar by Isys and punches to the gut. Cover for one. They exchange chops until Isys knees the midsection and moves Jay to the corner. Shoulder blocks, and he dumps Jay into the middle of the ring. Cover for two.

Punch exchange by both men, Isys gets a knee in and goes for a suplex thats blocked three times, and he drop kicks Jay’s knee out from under him. Supplies by Isys reversed into a reverse DDT by Jay, both men down. Running back elbows by Jay followed by a clothesline. Leg lariat by Jay after a missed clothesline, and a gut wrench duplex gets a 2-count.

Jay up to the second turnbuckle, leaps off to nothing, charges the corner by Isys gets a boot up and hits a DDT for 2. Kick to the back. Jay counters into a Tiger Driver for 2 and 3/4. Jay misses the Shining Wizard and counters in to the Awful Waffle (not making that up) for a 2-count. Isys puts Jay on the top buckle, gets head butted off and Jay hits leaping DDT for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Jay Freddie

Video of Eli Drake playing piano… horribly. He also can’t sing… Welcomes us to the show, says he’s gathered the top talent for us tonight. Sends us to his “guest correspondent” on the street to get the people’s reaction, and he sends it to Eli Drake.

Match Two: Dick Justice vs Fallah Bahh

Dick Justice was the “stand by wrestler” in IMPACT!, but here he is known as “The Super Cop”

Bahh tries to get a chant for himself, but the crowd just chants “Dick”. They shake hands and the fans chant “we want Dick.” Sumo charge and neither man goes down. Justice off the ropes, shoulder charge gets nothing “No No No” from Bahh. Bahh off the ropes with the same result. Second shoulder charge, and a third and fourth, and fifth. No result and now both men are winded. Both men off the ropes, collide and both men go down and out of the ring.

For some reason this starts the first Saintly Fecal Matter chant of the night…

Bahh charges in and they both hit a clothesline. Justice tries a slam, gets nothing but a double sledge to the back. Bahh charges Justice in the corner who pulls out a finger gun (yes, he made a gun shape with his fingers) and that stops Bahh in his tracks and Bahh puts his hands up. Justice orders Bahh to get on the ground, Bahh prays for his life and kisses the finger gun. The Bahh asks “No No No?” and Justice puts the finger gun away in his fanny pack that he’s still wearing. Justice goes for a hug, and Bahh hits a Samoan Drop.

Bahh hits a series of headbutts and then a Hadouken (WHAT?!?!) that takes Justice down. Bahh hits a dropkick (-ish) and then rolls over Justice. Bahh covers for two. Chop exchange by both men, Justice chops him into the corner, then calls time out as he’s winded. More chops then charges across and eats an elbow from Bahh. Bahh then charges and Justice moves and Bahh eats post. Left hand punches from Justice followed by a right, and he bodyslams Bahh.

Justice then leaves the ring and poses for the crowd. Justice returns to the ring and Bahh hits a belly to belly on Justice. Drags Justice to the corner, Banzai Drop for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Fallah Bahh

After the match, they shake hands and hug it out before Bahh leaves.

Backstage interview with Moose as he gets sentimental about how Binghampton sucks. Talks about how he gets to wrestle KM, saying he didn’t even know there was a man on the IMPACT! roster named KM…

Backstage now with Dick Justice, saying how he isn’t a stand by wrestler, he’s the Super Cop, and how he was going to put Bahh away, but Bahh is one of the smartest men he’s ever faced. Says next time, Justice will be served

Match Three: Slyck Wagner Brown vs Axel Lennox

Lennox looks like a reject from The Ascension…

Collar and elbow tie up to start. Side headlock by Brown, whipped off into a shoulder block, Lennox off the ropes into one of his own and takes down Brown. Chain wrestling take downs leads to a spot where Brown visually signals for Lennox to grab his wrist, which he does, just for Brown to duck under and escape and try his reverse DDT, but Lennox escapes as well.

Back to the collar and elbow. Wrist control to Lennox, but a leg sweep by Brown into a headlock. Lennox runs to the rope but Brown clotheslines his over the top. Brown grabs a fans water bottle and hits Lennox in the head with it. Clothesline by Brown on the floor. Lennox fights back and slams Brown’s face in to the guardrail twice. Lennox breaks up the nonexistent count, which now the referee starts…

Lennox places Brown on the apron and hits a leg drop. Back in the ring, he covers Brown for two. Lennox hits a scoop slam and an elbow drop again for two. Matthews says this maybe a rivalry, Sonjay says its one we know nothing about. Way to build the match guys…

Lennox goes for a suplex, Brown cradles for two. Double clothesline, both men down. Brown charges out of the corner with two clotheslines, then a short DDT after whipping Lennox off the ropes. Reversals a plenty until Lennox hits a spine buster for two. Cutter by Lennox, covers again for two. Punch exchange in the middle of the ring. Goes to the corner by Wagner hits a drop kick and then a power bomb. picks up Lennox, sets him on the top buckle and hits an enziguri to the back, then a sit out Dominator off the top for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Slyck Wagner Brown

An earlier today segment plays, Eddie is looking for his wife. Eddie finds potato salad, decides to take it. Finally finds her in the Knockout’s dressing room and offers her potato salad. Alisha calls Eddie the biggest dummy here and kicks him out.

Match Four: Rebel vs Alisha

Handshake to start, chest bumps from Rebel. Arm ringer by Alisha, Rebel just throws her across the ring and calls Alisha tiny. Waist lock, Rebel just walks her to the rope and hits an elbow. Alisha looking for a crucifix for one, backslide attempt is reversed, Rebel misses a kick on the ropes, Alisha gets a schoolgirl for two. Headlock take over by Alisha, Rebel just stands up. Rebel picks her up and plants her face first and dances over Alisha, then chokes Alisha on the second rope.

Rebel slams Alisha into the turnbuckle, then a second one, and a third. Rebel then hits a handspring clothesline, pulls out Alisha and goes for a delayed suplex, Alisha rolls her up and the roll back and fourth for a few two counts. Alisha chops, Rebel misses a few kicks, and then takes down Alisha. Shining Wizard by Rebel gets two. Alisha catches a kick and makes Rebel do the splits, hits a dropkick for two.

Alisha goes for a body scissor, Rebel grabs the hair and then face plants Alisha for two. Off the ropes, Rebel hits a roundhouse kick and celebrates. Referee checks Alisha to see if she’s knocked out, she’s not, Rebel covers for two. Rebel goes for the handspring clothesline again but Alisha moves and hits a palm strike and forearms to take down Rebel. Alisha hits a charging forearm and a bulldog for two.

Rebel hits a scoop slam, goes to the second buckle. Alisha hits the worst looking backpack stunner for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Alisha

They shake hands and hug it out after

Backstage with Eli Drake, he congratulates Alisha, and Jimmy Jacobs is sitting behind him. Jacobs wonders why he’s not on the card tonight. Eli says he will have a special Fact of Life, and Jacobs can be the guest.

Alisha backstage, says she can hang with the best of the Knockout’s Division.

Match Five: Heavenly Bodies [Desirable Dustin & Gigolo Justin] vs Team Tremendous [Detective Dan Berry & Detective Billy Carr]

Justin starts against Dan. Shoulder tackles takes down Justin and into a headlock. Forearm by Justin, punches from Dan. dropkick by Dan takes him down. Tags in Billy who chops him in the corner. Scoop slam, tags in Dan who hits a senton over the top rope for two. Knee by Justin and he tags in Dustin. Dropkick by Dan and he whips Dustin into the rope. Charges but is sent over the top, he elbows Justin, and Dustin, before Justin knocks Dan off the ring.

Cover by Dustin for 2. Dustin then throws Dan back out and Justin hits a senton off the apron. Justin tags in and rolls Dan back, cover for two. Short arm clothesline gets two again. Uppercut and he tags in Dustin who hits a leg lariat for two. Ground and pound by Dustin before Dan starts fighting back. Justin tags in, Dustin hits an arm ringer and Justin hits a moonsault off Dustin, referee is distracted, and finally counts for a one. Sanjay and Josh are talking about Josh frosting his tips here, it seems they’ve lost interest too.

Dan fights back, but can’t escape. Dan then whips Justin over the top rope, and Dan tries to tag Bill, but Dustin pulls him off the apron. Bodies double stop Dan in their corner. Justin with a scoop power bomb, go for a rocket launcher, but Dan moves. Justin stops Dan from getting a tag, then he finally does and Billy comes in like a house of fire. Exploder duplex to Justin gets two, Dustin comes off the top, Billy moves and Dustin splashes Justin. Billy tosses both men, and Dan hits a flip topi onto the Bodies on the outside. Justin is thrown in to Billy, who tosses him with an outsiders edge to a flatliner by Dan. Referee counted to three on the pin, but says he only did two as Dustin breaks it up. Billy gets Justin up for a Doomsday Device, but Dustin tags himself in. Double flap jack on Billy, Dan fights off both men, eats a super kick from Justin and a spinning power bomb from Dustin. Billy then throws Justin in to break up the pin.

Enziguri on Dustin by Dan, Superkick by Billy, Doomsday Sliced Bread by Dan for the 1-2-3

Your Winners: Team Tremendous

From earlier today, we see Homicide, and he says he is LAX, Konnan is despicable, and the little bitches in LAX are going to learn.

The Fact of Life with Eli Drake

Eli Drake comes out. Eli has had a cord hanging down the entire time, and he stops to plug it back in mid way through his talking segment. He pulls out a smart phone to show off the mobile version of the Eli Drake Dummy Button, so we can have a live version of The Facts Of Live. The app plays “Dummy, Yeah” every time you press the screen. He then brings out “The Zombie Princess” Jimmy Jacobs.

Jimmy says tonight is about what Eli needs, as he doesn’t understand what he’s getting into when he faces Eddie Edwards. Drake says he’s insulted by this talk and says he’s out of here, and Jimmy can say and do whatever he wants. Jimmy starts running down Binghamton, and says theres got to be someone out there who needs his help. He then calls out Santana from the LAX

Santana immediately gets in Jacobs’ face, who says he’s here to help. Jacobs also said he’s heard a rumor that Ortiz got jumped by the OGz, meaning Santana is all alone tonight. Jacobs offers to help Santana in his match tonight, one OG to another. Santana looks unimpressed, shakes Jacobs’ hand, and then hits a front kick to his face and a rolling senton in the corner.

Santana then calls out Homicide to start their match.

Match six, Street Fight: Santana vs Homicide (How does this not violate the cease fire?!?!)

Punches by both to start, Santana throws out Homicide and hits a suicide dive. Punches and chops back and forth, Homicide attempts to climb the scaffolding, and Santana hits a bodyslam on the floor. Thrusts to the throat by Homicide, and he chokes Santana on a ringside chair. Homicide then gets the chair, hits Santana in the gut. Homicide then gets a stick from a fan, but gets booted in the gut. Santana then jabs the metal rod into Homicide’s face.

Santana drapes Homicide over the guardrail and slams the chair into his back. Santana then clotheslines Homicide into a fan, poke in the eye by Homicide. Homicide slams Santana into the post and gets the chair. Homicide then tells the fans to shove it, and Santana hits about to the gut and throws a chair at Homicide. Santana throws him back in the ring, goes from a cross body, Homicide rolls through and gets a two count. Moonsault by Santana gets two.

Belly to Belly throw by Homicide off the ropes, and then an exploder by Homicide, bridged in to a two count. Homicide tells fans to suck it and then flips them off before Santana hits a boot to the face in the corner. Homicide puts Santana on the top and hits a cutter off the turnbuckle, gets two before Santana gets his foot on the bottom rope. Homicide threatens the referee before he charges the corner, nobody home as Santana sidesteps. Super kick by Santana, Michinoku Driver by Santana, who goes up top and hits a frog splash for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Santana

Backstage again with Eli Drake, who’s rehydrating. Eli lists off his three favorite moments of the night, all which involve himself. Also says in Fall of 2019, Night of the Dummies 2 will have no Jimy Jacobs as theres no room for princesses on his show.

Santana backstage, says by taking out Ortiz, the OGz have made this put bull more rabid.

Match seven: Brute Vanslyke (w/Father Derek) vs Sean Carr

Collar and elbow, Brute moves Sean into the corner. Collar and elbow again, he throws Sean in this time. Misses a charge, whip out and Bruce cartwheels out. Sunset flip attempt, Brute goes to sit, Sean moves. Standing moonsault by Sean gets one. Sean calls him out, Brute charges and Sean lowers the top rope. Sean hits a rolling sexton off the apron.

Back inside, Sean goes up top, but Father Derek shakes the rope, and a big boot by Brute takes him down. Face rake and Brute chokes him in the corner. Father Derek then chokes Sean on the bottom rope. Brute with a scoop slam followed by an elbow drop for two. Backbreaker by Brute, Sean gets up into another backbreaker. Sean reverses a third into a hurricanrana, putting Brute into the corner. Chops and a charging forearm, then a popup headbutt by Brute, then a cross body for two.

Brute puts Sean on the top, Sean fights back, hits a drop kick but Brute stays up. Enziguri and a Code Breaker, Brute is still up. Sean goes up top and hits a moonsault taking Brute down for a two count. Super kick misses, Bruce hits a wind up chokeslam and gets two. Sean slips out of a Razor’s Edge, can’t whip the big man. Big splash in the corner from Brute. Vader Bomb by Brute for two.

Brute goes back up, but misses a second Vader Bomb. Carr up top, Father Derek interferes, and gets a big boot from Sean on the apron. Brute then throws in Carr, who fights off Brute until Brute hits a left arm lariat. Brute goes up top, misses the splash! Super kick by Carr, and a second, ducks a clothesline and hits a third super kick!! Carr goes up top, Swanton Bomb for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Sean Carr

Fallah Bahh and KM backstage celebrating, but Bahh is upset KM isn’t wearing his matching gear. KM says if he can’t beat Moose wearing his gear, he will wear the matching gear for the rest of his career.

Match eight: Moose vs KM

Moose gets a mic, talking about how he went to Syracuse, just down the road. Says the fans didn’t help his career and Binghamton sucks. Tells KM to hurry up so he can beat him and get out of this God forsaken town.

KM starts the “Douche” chants

Moose ducks in the corner to start. Moose hits a boot, KM hits a shoulder block taking Moose down. Then another. Punch exchange, KM gets the best of it, and clotheslines Moose over the top. Moose pulls KM out and they fight on the floor. Moose goes to chop KM against the ring post, KM ducks and Moose hits his hand.

Moose then rams KM into the post. Referee still isn’t counting…

Moose gets a chair, sits KM in it. Punches and chops, Moose flips off the crowd and hits a running kick to KM’s face in the chair. Moose puts KM back on the chair, goes for the running kick again. KM catches him with a chokeslam on the apron. Finally the referee starts counting…KM asks him to stop counting as he goes and gets Moose. Moose then hits a belly to back duplex on the apron. Moose picks up KM and drops him again on the apron before rolling back in to the ring. KM gets back in to the ring at 9.

Moose uses ground and pound on KM and throws him back out. KM back in at nine again. Stomps from Moose, a snap mare, and a seated dropkick for two. Moose calls for the finish, can’t get KM up for the suplex, so he punches him. Tries the suplex again, KM counters into one of his own. KM puts Moose in the corner, whip reversed, KM boots Moose, but is dropkicked to the floor over the top!

Moose rolls out after KM and whips him into the ring post. Moose grabs the chair again and gives it to a fan. Moose parts the crowd, and fakes like he’s throwing KM into them, but rolls him into the ring. KM hits a baseball slide, and rolls Moose back in. Moose intercepts KM on the way back in, goes off the ropes and eats a POUNCE from KM. Both men down.

Moose thrown KM on the ramp, landing on his feet, KM hits a chokeslam and a slingshot splash for two. KM hits a neck breaker on Moose, Moose reverses a full nelson for two, hits a pump kick and them KM hits a clothesline, and a fell nelson slam for two. KM misses a corner charge, Moose charges into an elbow, and the Moose hits the Go To Hell for two! Moose looks for the Spear, eats a knee. KM behind, and Moose hits a low blow, a Spear, and gets the 1-2-3

Your winner: Moose

Bound For Glory video package

KM backstage wondering what he did wrong. Bahh is in the back eating, KM asks if he’s going to rub in his lost. KM is reminded of the bet, says he was kidding

Match nine: Eli Drake vs Eddie Edwards (w/Kenny the Kendo Stick)

Eddie high fives nearly ever member of the audience (yes the arena is that small)

Eli has a mic. Names Eddie a dummy, and says theres no kendo sticks allowed in a match with him. Tells the ref he has to disqualify him if he won’t get rid of it.

Eddie slaps Eli on the butt, who then rolls out of the ring, grabs a mic and says this is his show, so there will be no “ass slapping” on his show.

Collar and elbow tie up, headlock by Eli. Eddie shoots him off, shoulder tackle by Drake takes him down. Arm drag by Eddie, and a second and Eli rolls out again. Eli has a mic again. Says he hates cheaters, and arm drags are illegal.

Collar and elbow again. Eddie walks him to the corner. Eli with a low blow, and takes Eddie to the other corner. Whip reversed and Eddie hits a belly to belly throw. Eli rolls out again as Eddie does a snow angel in the ring. Eli has a mic and says he hates cheaters, and a braggart, no snow angels are allowed in the match.

Eli reenters and leaves again. Eddie joins him and the fight on the floor. Eli thumbs Eddie’s eye to take advantage, but gets chopped again! Cameras lose both men, as the chops continue. Eli rolls in, followed by Eddie, and he rolls back out. Eli has a mic again. Hates cheaters. Chops are illegal now.

Eli keeps talking and Eddie hits a big boot, sending him to the floor. Eddie goes for a dive, Eli hits him with the mic to the head. Eli now stomps away at Eddie on the floor. Eli makes Eddie wave to a fan, and then slams him back first in to the apron. Eli rolls Eddie onto the apron and hits an elbow. Eli slingshots Eddie into the bottom rope. Seated clothesline for two. Now Eli chokes Eddie on the middle tope, leaps out and slaps Eddie’s face.

Punches from Eddie, and a thumb to Eli’s eyes. Whips Eli across but misses the splash, Eli hits a neck breaker for a two count. Eli drops a knee and chokes Eddie again on the rope. Leg drop across the back on the middle rope. Kicks and a cover for two. Eli drops some elbows and locks on a reverse chin lock. Eddie bites his thumb, Eli lets go and hits a neck breaker for two. Eli then bites Eddie’s thumb. Outside the ring, Eli gets a chair, referee threatens a DQ, Eli says he was just kidding. Eddie then smashed Eli’s face in to the ring. Eddie takes a drink of a fans soda, and spits it into the eyes of Eli. Eli then pulls Eddie face first into the ramp. Eli rolls Eddie back in, covers for one.

Eddie reverses a scoop slam, Eli hits a neck breaker for two. Eddie’s gum here falls out of his mouth, landing on the mat, and he casually picks it back up and continues to chew it, grossing out both Josh and Sonjay. Rear chin lock by Eli, Eddie counters with a jaw breaker. Back to the chin lock, Eli throws Eddie to the buckle, Eddie hits a back elbow and a dropkick, both men are down. Scoop power slam by Eli, and then an elbow drop for two.

Eli picks up Eddie, hitting a snap suplex. Eli to the second rope, Eddie hits an enziguri. Eddie goes up top, hits the Frankensteiner. Punch exchange by both men. Eli takes advantage but Eddie doesn’t feel the pain. Two back elbows and then Eddie sends Eddie to the floor and hits a quebrada. Fans chanting “use the leg” as a fan holds up his prosthetic leg. Eddie takes it. Eddie kisses the prosthetic foot (ewwwww). Eli gets a mic, saying prosthetics are illegal. Eddie hits Eli with the camera man. As the refs was checking on the camera man, Eddie hits Eli with the prosthetic leg, then pretends its his in the ring before giving it back.

Both men back in, Eddie tries a Tiger Driver, hits a gordbuster, then hits the Tiger Driver for two and 3/4!!! Eddie then talks to his kendo stick before picking it up. Referee tries to stop Eddie, fans chant “hit the ref.” Eddie goes up, Eli hits the ref into the ropes dropping Eddie. Eli gets a chair, referee stops him, Eli shoves him down. Eddie hits Eli with the kendo stick and hits a DDT, covers Eli for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Eddie Edwards

Eddie then does a snow angel in the ring to celebrate

Eddie celebrates with the Xcite Wrestling crowd as we go off the air.

THAT’S ALL SHE WROTE!

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Coverage

Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 11.14.2024

The first episode after fresh tapings! How does TNA try to pivot and make a sensible card after the cobbled together last two weeks?

Published

7 days ago

November 14, 2024

Andrew Balaz

Well now we’re starting with a new set of tapings, and I don’t think I heard about any crazy injury issues. So let’s see what is supposed to make sense going into Turning Point, because let’s be honest, since Scott left the stories have been inane, the booking has been questionable at best and even though the hype of the TNA name being back is probably driving attendance for major events…let’s not act like this has been “good” in the last 8 months.

Here’s to hoping Genesis kicks off some semblance of logic in the storytelling, because if these shows are mostly bad and only carried by a handful of decent matches or entertaining vignettes every couple of weeks…that ain’t enough.

But hey, I guess we’ll see…right? Why do I have a feeling this week will suck?

Ratings:

KC Navarro w/AJ Francis vs Mike Santana: Santana wins via Spin the Block – ** 1/2
Alan Angels & Jake Crist vs The Rascalz: Rascalz win via Feed Em to the Lions – *
The Northern Armoury (Josh Alexander, Judas Icarus & Travis Williams) vs Eric Young, Steve Maclin & Jonathan Gresham: Josh wins via C4 Spike – **
Ryan Nemeth vs Joe Hendry: Hendry wins via Standing Ovation – **
Rosemary vs Jada Stone: Rosemary wins via As Above So Below – Squash
Nic Nemeth vs Brian Myers: Nic wins via Danger Zone – ** 1/4

Results:

KC Navarro w/AJ Francis vs Mike Santana

Navarro is a punching bag early on, he thinks he outsmarts Santana a few times but pays for the arrogance, but it is very entertaining. From not being able to Roll-Up Santana cause Navarro is too small or getting kicked into AJ’s arms like a small child. But finally AJ being out there pays some dividends for Navarro…or not, never mind, one Suicida and then Santana no sells a few chops and ragdolls Navarro. Navarro tries to use some of his speed to catch Santana off guard a few times, but Santana catches him, blocks the Rana, turns it into the Wheelbarrow Overhead Facebuster, transitions into a Sitout Powerbomb for 2, and the Spin the Block puts Navarro away.

No one should be surprised, but KC is a gem, he’s money money…yeah…yea.

Alan Angels & Jake Crist vs The Rascalz

Jake being back is always nice, but Angels is more like an Albatross. Rascalz pull off the ACS Rush as an ode to the MCMG and The ABC combination flurry. So nice feel good babyface stuff. Half Nelson Suplex from Angels on Miguel after some cheating and suddenly Rascalz are on the receiving end. After some slow and arrogant heel offense, we finally see Trey snap off a Suplex and get Wentz in for the hot tag. Simultaneous time, Jake and Wentz are in, and Wentz is beating the hell out of the Golden Draw. Wentz tags Trey, they go for some tandem stuff but Angels rips Wentz out of the ring, Jake pulls off the Marufuji Kick Corner Combination to get space, Trey looks for the Meteora, Angels picks the foot and tags in, combination Kick into Splash from Angels…and…Wentz makes the diving save.

Wentz starts flying around with Trey, stereo corner attacks, assisted Dropkicks, a flurry of offense, FEED EM TO THE LIONS! Wentz dives out on Jake and Trey gets the pinfall.

The right team went over, but I can’t care when Angels is involved.

Spitefire has a terrible and cringe promo, that I refuse to embed. The fact I’m even mentioning it is enough to question my sanity.

The Northern Armoury (Josh Alexander, Judas Icarus & Travis Williams) vs Eric Young, Steve Maclin & Jonathan Gresham

The dorks of the Armoury are getting manhandled by the babyface or tweener team. I don’t know which jabroni is which, and I refuse to learn because they suck. We go to picture in picture once they heels take a few shortcuts and get the upperhand, so nothing of great impact happens. The bald jaborni is in the ring with Maclin when we finally come back, Bell Clap, Backfist but Maclin hits the Busaiku Knee to stop the attacks. Simultaneous tags EY and Josh are in! EY comes out hot, a few right hands, Neckbreaker, Tombstone Piledriver reversal into the Youngblood Neckbreaker for two! EY tries to knock down the jabronis on the apron and Josh takes the chance to hit a few German Suplexes and simultaneous tags again.

Gresham and hair jabroni do a Fighting Spirit spot that Gresham gets the best of for a while, but the standing switches go against Gresham, hair jabroni trips him, PK into a Elbow Drop Variant. Looks for the tag team tandem move with his imbecile buddy, Up in the Clouds gets countered, but numbers game works in the heels favor. The jabronis feed Josh, try to set up the C4 Spike but they get grabbed out of the ring, Gresham counters the C4 with a Double Legged Cradle, Gresham gets a few moves in and goes to the top, jabronis attack Gresham, Sudden Silence nearly wins the match until Maclin bull rushes one into the Pinfall.

Lots of just schmoz spots, eventually EY hits the Spicolli Driver, Caught in the Crosshairs from Maclin on Josh, EY looks for the Macho Elbow but Maclin won’t stop pummeling Josh. EY and Maclin have a moment, but this becomes a comedy of errors with all the babyfaces trying to cover the other’s back and Josh drives Maclin into EY, hits the C4 Spike and I can’t find myself caring enough about this match or about 1/3rd of the participants names.

Is frustration getting the best of @SteveMaclin? @TheEricYoung

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Ryan Nemeth vs Joe Hendry

Hendry starts off by saying he has a directors cut, and it’s the same, so solid joke. The crowd chants “One More Time” so he plays it again and then Ryan attacks. Ryan gets like 30 seconds of offense and doesn’t really do much, Hendry starts firing a few Uppercuts that seem to rock Ryan more than anything he’s done. Ryan manages to ground Hendry and go for a Sleeper Hold that Hendry of course charges up back to his feet, fights out of, but Ryan drives the Shoulder into Hendry’s gut in the corner and goes back to the Sleeper spot for Hendry to fight back up from, but Ryan pulls the hair to pull him down.

Very basic match so far, Rude Awakening from Ryan as he goes to the top rope…jaws at the crowd who’s chiding him, and Hendry gets up and throws him from the top. Hendry fires a few punches, two Lariats, Sack of Shit into the Kip Up and spin around to start the Standing Ovation stomp…gets him up and down! Hendry wins to no one’s surprise.

Rosemary vs Jada Stone

So we get a Rosemary enhancement match instead of something moving Lei Ying Lee and Savanna Evans’ story further? What are we gonna get a dumb vignette or something instead of actually building up lesser established talent? And yes, I’m just going with stream of consciousness because no one cares about this. Rosemary will win, it’s an enhancement match, Rosemary will play with her food until she decides she’s bored. Spear into As Above So Below, the crowd goes…to get snacks.

Nic Nemeth vs Brian Myers

Nic looks for the Superkick immediately to reference their last WWE match, but Myers powders, Nic gives chase and then Myers cuts him off and lands a few early shots. Two big sternum first Irish Whips, rope choke, and okay Nic slips the Press, connects with a Dropkick and then returns the Irish Whips in kind. Nic smashes Myer’s face into a turnbuckle, turns it into a Head and Leg Cradle for 2. Body Slam from Nic, he sets up for the Superkick but Eddie gets involved to stop it and the ref sees, so kicks him out. Nic is too busy waving and teasing Eddie, Myers tries a Roster Cut from the blind side but Nic ducks it and Myers spills to the outside. Alisha gets in the way to stop Nic’s momentum and Myers rams him into the apron and then throws him into the steps before hitting his Raven pose and we go to picture in picture, so nothing worth talking about will happen. Just plodding offense, rest holds and we’ll probably come back in time for the babyface to make a comeback.

Oh look we come back from PiP, Nic with a cut off comeback, but Manhattan Drop gets countered and Nic connects with a Dropkick to start his comeback. Two Lariats, Shot to the Heart Elbows, tunes up the band…but Myers ducks and cowers so Nic has to adjust. Myers hits a big Gamengiri into an Implant DDT for 2! Myers looks for the Roster Cut, but Nic catches him in a Jumping DDT into the FameASSer for another two count! The referee checks on Myers, Nic looks to tune up the band again and Lish uses Kendra to wack Nic a few times! Spear from Myers! Only a two count. Hendry leaves the announce desk and just picks up Lish and walks out with her kicking and screaming. Myers is distracted, so he eats a Superkick into Danger Zone, aaaannnddd Eddie attacks Nic after the win.

Hendry comes back out with Kendra, beats on Myers and Eddie, nearly hits Nic but stops himself and they have a tense moment. But Hendry made the save with only stares and tension being shared between him and Nic, nothing more.

The show also goes off the air with a weird vignette of Maclin getting into his vehicle and this weird Country Christian “I Will Rise” somber song playing. They’re really trying to make it seem like he’s chewing on that stuff EY said? Do it in the ring, not through a dumb vignette with an obscure song.

Overall Score: 0/10

Give me my 2 hours back! I was lenient last two weeks because they were working around injuries that probably affected some bigger stories, but this was a fresh set of tapings and we get this car crash soaked in diarrhea? Shoehorning in attempts at logic and random matches because of dumb reasons, whoever is booking, be it Delirious, Dreamer, NOSAWA, Tua Tagovailoa’s CTE…I don’t know, but fire them, not once, but twice. Send Dahyun or Nayeon to soften the blow and make sure the Twice joke lands, but just fire the booker.

I don’t even have anything positive or reflective to say about this episode. It was bad, whatever it set up for next week is stupid, so many matches that shouldn’t be booked because there’s no tension. Like there’s been plenty of bad episodes and strings of terrible television, but this was offensively stupid and a time waste.

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Coverage

Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 11.7.2024

Moose challenges for the X Division Championship and Wendy Choo & Rosemary have their Demonic NoDQ grudge match!

Published

2 weeks ago

November 7, 2024

Andrew Balaz

Well tonight’s show we should get some solid action and hopefully some build toward Turning Point and Final Resolution as we round out 2024. Moose challenges Speedball for the X Division Championship, the other half of the Elegance Clique will wrestle Jody Threat to solidify their Knockouts tag bid, Demon battle as Wendy Choo and Rosemary have it out and then there’s the matter of if Joe Hendry will find a way to get another shot at the World title when he didn’t lose it cleanly.

So there’s a few bites to take out of this apple, let’s see if we have to spit in the face of anyone who isn’t cool.

EXCLUSIVE: "What happened to all the others…that were friends? Abyss, Crazzy Steve, Black Taurus, Havok, the Valkyrie, the Bunny…they left us." pic.twitter.com/1MeR8qemX8

— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) November 6, 2024

Ratings:

Tasha Steelz & Alisha Edwards vs Jordynne Grace & Masha Slamovich: Masha wins via Sleeper Hold – ** 1/2
NoDQ Match: Wendy Choo vs Rosemary: Rosemary wins via As Above So Below – ** 1/4
Heather by Elegance w/ASH & Personal Concierge vs Jody Threat w/Dani Luna: Jody wins via Pop-Shove-It – **
X Division Championship: Speedball Mike Bailey (c) vs Moose: Moose wins via Lights Out – *** 1/2 – TITLE CHANGE!!!

Results:

Tasha Steelz & Alisha Edwards vs Jordynne Grace & Masha Slamovich

Alisha going for the ole Bob Orton gimmick and walks out with the neck brace on even though she’s medically cleared to compete. I appreciate it.

Tasha tries to tie up with Jordynne to start, and as you can imagine, that doesn’t go well. Shoulder Tackle sends Tasha into her corner, she tags to Alisha, Alisha tries to hype herself up for a Test of Strength, Jordynne wins with one hand and Lish complains about her injured neck so the referee breaks the Test of Strength and Lish tags out quickly. Tasha comes in and Jordynne tags out, Masha works over Tasha, Masha tags out, quick tandem Suplex, Jordynne goes for a Scoop Slam and Vader Bomb but Lish picks the ankle causing Jordynne to fall on the ropes. Tasha with the Back Stabber, and Lish calls to get tagged back in and tries to sink in a Sleeper Hold, but Jordynne fights through and Lish tags out as soon as things start to go against her.

Tasha connects with a PK, twerks in Jordynne’s face and Jordynne just slaps her ass as she gets up. Tasha tries a Satellite DDT, but Jordynne stops it and counters into a Sidewalk Slam. Tags out to Masha and Masha runs over Tasha, big Capo Kick for the pinfall but Lish breaks it up. Masha gets distracted with Lish, Tasha Codebreaker causes Masha to tag out. A few Vader Hammers into the Backfist, but Tasha ducks the Backfist and hits the Blackout! Masha breaks up the pin and Tasha tags out to Lish. Heels try to double team Jordynne but she shrugs both off, Masha goes for the Blind Tag, walks in and barely even locks in the Sleeper Hold and Lish taps out soo damn fast.

Lish is a great character. The fact that she gets her gimmick over more than trying to just to derpy moves makes her matches enjoyable. She gets pro wrestling.

NoDQ Match: Wendy Choo vs Rosemary

The video package I put at the top of the article makes this split make a ton of sense. Rosemary has abandonment issues, but The Hive decided on a preemptive strike. So if anything it babyfaced them both, but how do you babyface demons? Let’s see.

They start off just exchanging Head Smashes into the corner, Wendy gets the best of it, goes for her Diving Nap Elbow, Cartwheel Forearm and High Bootwash, but Rosemary slows down Wendy with The Upside Down. Wendy manages to escape and tie Rosemary into the Tree of Woe, she hammers away, tries to get her pillow but Rosemary counters and sends Wendy into the steps. Rosemary starts taking Wendy to task on the outside, cables and weapons, as she throws Wendy back into the ring and tries to use her cane for extra leverage in a submission, but Wendy fights through, both level each other with Lariats, do a double zombie rise and go to the corner, Wendy hits the Monkey Flip, grabs her pillow finally and starts using it in her offense. Night Night with the Pillow off the middle rope, but Rosemary kicks out at two. Sleeper attempt from Wendy but Snapmare into a Spear gives Rosemary the wi-oh Wendy kicked out.

Rosemary grabs the cane, Wendy tries to counter with a Full Nelson Bomb, but Rosemary bites her and manages to lock in the As Above So Below with the Cane, and Rosemary wins.

Well that match was fine, and now it looks like we’re getting another filler match because of the injuries from tapings. So TNA is bringing back From the Vaults to cover for the lost time. At least there’s a precedent so it doesn’t seem too silly and I appreciate them trying to give people something they haven’t seen in lieu of just throwing out a Golden era match or something.

TNA From the Vaults: June 15, 2024, Mustafa Ali w/Campaign Singh vs Mike Santana

.@SteveMaclin has always known @Walking_Weapon's true colors!

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"It's Rascal Rebound Season" @ZacharyWentz @TheTreyMiguel

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Joe Hendry comes out to talk after the Rascalz vignette. And I almost wanted to be mad at more talking, but Hendry has a meme music video about Ryan Nemeth! He sets it up as going through all of his accomplishments and its as simple as “He’s Nic Nemeth’s brother…the end”. It was all to set up a challenge to Ryan, but I’m glad Hendry just went for the obvious joke and steered hard.

.@Santana_Proud wants nothing to do with @AJFrancis410 and @KCwrestles!

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— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) November 8, 2024

The vignettes have been pretty damn good this episode. And it looks like Genesis is back for 1.19.2025. You know, Hard to Kill hasn’t been announced, so maybe the name belongs to Scott D’Amore so they’re going back to Genesis as their lead PLE. Little disappointed by that, but business is business.

Heather by Elegance w/ASH & Personal Concierge vs Jody Threat w/Dani Luna

Heather yanks Jody off the ropes during her entrance and takes a few cheap shots. The referee gets space, Jody of course wants to fight so the match begins and Jody starts beating the hell out of Heather. Vader Hammers in the corner, Exploder Suplex, throws Heather into the ropes, looks for her Double Knees/German spot, but ASH picks the ankle and causes a distraction. Heather takes advantage and hits the Satellite DDT, and starts stomping a mudhole into Jody. As the ref pulls off Heather, ASH gets in a few hair pulls and cheapshots as Heather lands the Hesitation Dropkick and gets a two count.

Jody fights back up to her feet, but Heather slips it and uses the hair to drag down Jody, DDT and another near fall. Heather tries to rain down some Elbows and keep Jody down, but Heather is 4 foot nothing, so it’s easy to get eye level with her. Jody Snap Suplex, runs over Heather with a few Lariats, Big Boot sends Heather into the ropes, Double Knees/German spot finally goes off. ASH hops up to the apron, Dani neutralizes them and Heather manages to pull the distracted Jody face first into the Turnbuckles, Diving Crossbody from Heather, but Jody catches her and Pop-Shove-It lands! Jody wins.

X Division Championship: Speedball Mike Bailey (c) vs Moose

Speedball is living up to his name and just coming out of the gate quick, Running Front Kicks, Triangle Moonsault to the outside, but as soon as Speedball panders to the crowd a little, Moose manages to catch him with a few kicks. Moose misses two Chops into the post though, so his left hand is already a target. They still fight on the outside, Drop Toe Hold from Bailey as Moose’s hand ricochets off the steps, Bailey goes for the PK, but misses! Let’s all remember Bailey wrestles barefoot, so…he just soccer kicked steps. That can’t feel good.

Since the match started with about 30 minutes left in the show, I’m not surprised about a commercial break. So when we get back, Moose is focusing the foot and leg, Bailey tries to fire off the ropes but Moose pops him onto his shoulders and just throws him into the corner buckles from the middle of the ring. Strong Irish Whip has Speedball looking more like a Pinball. Bailey blocks a charging Moose, perches and Moose tries the Go to Hell, but Bailey counters with a Frankensteiner! Running Shooting Star attempt but Moose rolls away and he gets up to just slam Bailey’s knee into the mat. Speedball goes for a fast Double Leg Cradle, but Moose gets out and Uranage bounces Bailey off the mat like a basketball.

Slowing things down, Moose goes for the Abdominal Stretch, tries to add leverage but Bailey manages to use the injured hand against Moose. A little back and forth as Moose Sunset Flips but Bailey blocks the grab from Moose and just executes the Backflip Knees! Moose takes an opportunistic shot at Bailey’s injured leg, and we go to another commercial. We come back and Moose flips Bailey onto the apron, Bailey manages a kick to rock Moose to the outside and lands a Springboard Corkscrew Senton. Rolls Moose back in, SHOOTING STAR PRESS…but only a two. Bailey ain’t Billy Kidman or Jushin Thunder Liger, so it’s not a finish. Both men start throwing strikes with their injured limb since its their go to strike. Chops from Moose, Round Kicks from Bailey, both start powering through the pain and go for the strikes harder before Bailey tries a few locomotion Cradle attempts but a GAME CHANGER levels Bailey! Moose tries to follow up and Bailey counters with a Code Red also only for two!

Moose retreats to the corner, Tornado Kick lands! Ultima Weapon set up but Moose hits the Million Dollar Drop Kick to counter! Both jockey with counters on the top before Bailey gets the best of things with an Avalanche Poison Rana! Bailey tries Ultima Weapon again, connects on a doubled over Moose…BUT MOOSE KICKS OUT! Tornado Kick attempt again, but Moose connects with LIGHTS OUT! Bailey powders, but Moose with another LIGHTS OUT on the outside! Moose throws Speedball back in the ring, flips off the crowd and slowly gets back in, third Lights Out attempt, but Small Package counter for two! Superkick from Bailey! Bailey goes for a Springboard Reverse Crossbody and Moose catches him midair with the Spear! Sets up…LIGHTS OUT! Moose is the X Division Champion!

Trent Seven comes out afterwards to console his tag team partner, but after a few feel good minutes, Trent with the Low Blow and a Seven Star Lariat!

Overall Score: 7/10

Fun vignettes, a pretty good TV main event even with two commercial breaks, a heel turn, solid story matches that weren’t atrocious and Trey Miguel’s best work to date. I love Wentz, but aside from the Dez references, Trey had the best lines in the Treehouse segment. Also First Cla$$ was pretty great with their reactions to Santana. And as I said during the article, Lish’s overselling of the neck and ridiculousness was actually fantastic.

So even if the match quality was a little underwhelming, and we got a filler From the Vaults match; given the reasons and potential alternatives…I was entertained the entire time. Really curious what the hell Rosemary will be doing now since she’s got abandonment issues and no longer in any title picture. But hey, questions are good to have, because it makes you want to know the answer.

Still a little sad that Hard to Kill might have been a Scott specific event. It really helped to kick off this resurgence and is so well named for the company that’s been around 22 years and everyone’s been saying is dead in the water for at least 15 of those years. Genesis is classic…but it ain’t Hard to Kill. Also we might get my goofy fantasy book idea of Feast or Fired World Title Briefcase, Option C, Gauntlet Trophy and Nemeth & Hendry being involved in a King of the Mountain match at Genesis. With so many “money in the bank” style concepts, the cluster of cash ins is bound to happen eventually.