Impact Coverage

Chris’ IMPACT! Wrestling One Night Only: Night of the Dummies Report

Published

7 years ago

September 17, 2018

Chris Pinheiro

Welcome to a SPECIAL EDITION (the second of the WEEK) of Chris’ IMPACT! Wrestling Results!!

Tonight, is IMPACT! Wrestling’s One Night Only: Night of the Dummies, exclusively on the GWN app

QUICK RESULTS

Jay Freddie d. Isys Ephex – pin fall, Leaping DDT
Fallah Bahh d. “Super Cop” Dick Justice – pin fall, Banzai Drop
Slyck Wagner Brown d. Axel Lennox – pin fall, Top Rope Sit Out Dominator
Alisha d. Rebel – pin fall, Backpack Stunner
Team Tremendous d. Heavenly Bodies – pin fall, Doomsday Sliced Bread, Dan pins Dustin
Street Fight: Santana d. Homicide – pin fall, Frog Splash
Sean Carr d. Brute Vanslyke – pin fall, Swanton Bomb
Moose d. KM – pin fall, Spear
Eddie Edwards d. Eli Drake – pin fall, DDT

___________________________________________________________________________________

IMPACT! Wrestling One Night Only: Night of the Dummies

Coming to you from a really small arena in Binghamton, New York, this is Night of the Dummies (YEAH!)

Match One: Jay Freddie vs Isys Ephex

The ring announcer mistakenly calls this a triple threat match

Josh Matthews and Sonjay Dutt calling the action

Arm ringers from both with some chain wrestling to start. Isis with a huge shoulder tackles, and Jay with a receipt. Two arm drags by Jay and a drop kick to take down Isys. Second drop kick and a cover for two. Jay charges the corner, gets placed on top and kicks away Isys, and hits a missile drop kick. Suicide dive puts Jay into the crowd (as they as SUPER close).

Back in the ring, Jay tries to hit a cross body, Isys tries a backbreaker counter and misses. Seated arm bar by Isys and punches to the gut. Cover for one. They exchange chops until Isys knees the midsection and moves Jay to the corner. Shoulder blocks, and he dumps Jay into the middle of the ring. Cover for two.

Punch exchange by both men, Isys gets a knee in and goes for a suplex thats blocked three times, and he drop kicks Jay’s knee out from under him. Supplies by Isys reversed into a reverse DDT by Jay, both men down. Running back elbows by Jay followed by a clothesline. Leg lariat by Jay after a missed clothesline, and a gut wrench duplex gets a 2-count.

Jay up to the second turnbuckle, leaps off to nothing, charges the corner by Isys gets a boot up and hits a DDT for 2. Kick to the back. Jay counters into a Tiger Driver for 2 and 3/4. Jay misses the Shining Wizard and counters in to the Awful Waffle (not making that up) for a 2-count. Isys puts Jay on the top buckle, gets head butted off and Jay hits leaping DDT for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Jay Freddie

Video of Eli Drake playing piano… horribly. He also can’t sing… Welcomes us to the show, says he’s gathered the top talent for us tonight. Sends us to his “guest correspondent” on the street to get the people’s reaction, and he sends it to Eli Drake.

Match Two: Dick Justice vs Fallah Bahh

Dick Justice was the “stand by wrestler” in IMPACT!, but here he is known as “The Super Cop”

Bahh tries to get a chant for himself, but the crowd just chants “Dick”. They shake hands and the fans chant “we want Dick.” Sumo charge and neither man goes down. Justice off the ropes, shoulder charge gets nothing “No No No” from Bahh. Bahh off the ropes with the same result. Second shoulder charge, and a third and fourth, and fifth. No result and now both men are winded. Both men off the ropes, collide and both men go down and out of the ring.

For some reason this starts the first Saintly Fecal Matter chant of the night…

Bahh charges in and they both hit a clothesline. Justice tries a slam, gets nothing but a double sledge to the back. Bahh charges Justice in the corner who pulls out a finger gun (yes, he made a gun shape with his fingers) and that stops Bahh in his tracks and Bahh puts his hands up. Justice orders Bahh to get on the ground, Bahh prays for his life and kisses the finger gun. The Bahh asks “No No No?” and Justice puts the finger gun away in his fanny pack that he’s still wearing. Justice goes for a hug, and Bahh hits a Samoan Drop.

Bahh hits a series of headbutts and then a Hadouken (WHAT?!?!) that takes Justice down. Bahh hits a dropkick (-ish) and then rolls over Justice. Bahh covers for two. Chop exchange by both men, Justice chops him into the corner, then calls time out as he’s winded. More chops then charges across and eats an elbow from Bahh. Bahh then charges and Justice moves and Bahh eats post. Left hand punches from Justice followed by a right, and he bodyslams Bahh.

Justice then leaves the ring and poses for the crowd. Justice returns to the ring and Bahh hits a belly to belly on Justice. Drags Justice to the corner, Banzai Drop for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Fallah Bahh

After the match, they shake hands and hug it out before Bahh leaves.

Backstage interview with Moose as he gets sentimental about how Binghampton sucks. Talks about how he gets to wrestle KM, saying he didn’t even know there was a man on the IMPACT! roster named KM…

Backstage now with Dick Justice, saying how he isn’t a stand by wrestler, he’s the Super Cop, and how he was going to put Bahh away, but Bahh is one of the smartest men he’s ever faced. Says next time, Justice will be served

Match Three: Slyck Wagner Brown vs Axel Lennox

Lennox looks like a reject from The Ascension…

Collar and elbow tie up to start. Side headlock by Brown, whipped off into a shoulder block, Lennox off the ropes into one of his own and takes down Brown. Chain wrestling take downs leads to a spot where Brown visually signals for Lennox to grab his wrist, which he does, just for Brown to duck under and escape and try his reverse DDT, but Lennox escapes as well.

Back to the collar and elbow. Wrist control to Lennox, but a leg sweep by Brown into a headlock. Lennox runs to the rope but Brown clotheslines his over the top. Brown grabs a fans water bottle and hits Lennox in the head with it. Clothesline by Brown on the floor. Lennox fights back and slams Brown’s face in to the guardrail twice. Lennox breaks up the nonexistent count, which now the referee starts…

Lennox places Brown on the apron and hits a leg drop. Back in the ring, he covers Brown for two. Lennox hits a scoop slam and an elbow drop again for two. Matthews says this maybe a rivalry, Sonjay says its one we know nothing about. Way to build the match guys…

Lennox goes for a suplex, Brown cradles for two. Double clothesline, both men down. Brown charges out of the corner with two clotheslines, then a short DDT after whipping Lennox off the ropes. Reversals a plenty until Lennox hits a spine buster for two. Cutter by Lennox, covers again for two. Punch exchange in the middle of the ring. Goes to the corner by Wagner hits a drop kick and then a power bomb. picks up Lennox, sets him on the top buckle and hits an enziguri to the back, then a sit out Dominator off the top for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Slyck Wagner Brown

An earlier today segment plays, Eddie is looking for his wife. Eddie finds potato salad, decides to take it. Finally finds her in the Knockout’s dressing room and offers her potato salad. Alisha calls Eddie the biggest dummy here and kicks him out.

Match Four: Rebel vs Alisha

Handshake to start, chest bumps from Rebel. Arm ringer by Alisha, Rebel just throws her across the ring and calls Alisha tiny. Waist lock, Rebel just walks her to the rope and hits an elbow. Alisha looking for a crucifix for one, backslide attempt is reversed, Rebel misses a kick on the ropes, Alisha gets a schoolgirl for two. Headlock take over by Alisha, Rebel just stands up. Rebel picks her up and plants her face first and dances over Alisha, then chokes Alisha on the second rope.

Rebel slams Alisha into the turnbuckle, then a second one, and a third. Rebel then hits a handspring clothesline, pulls out Alisha and goes for a delayed suplex, Alisha rolls her up and the roll back and fourth for a few two counts. Alisha chops, Rebel misses a few kicks, and then takes down Alisha. Shining Wizard by Rebel gets two. Alisha catches a kick and makes Rebel do the splits, hits a dropkick for two.

Alisha goes for a body scissor, Rebel grabs the hair and then face plants Alisha for two. Off the ropes, Rebel hits a roundhouse kick and celebrates. Referee checks Alisha to see if she’s knocked out, she’s not, Rebel covers for two. Rebel goes for the handspring clothesline again but Alisha moves and hits a palm strike and forearms to take down Rebel. Alisha hits a charging forearm and a bulldog for two.

Rebel hits a scoop slam, goes to the second buckle. Alisha hits the worst looking backpack stunner for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Alisha

They shake hands and hug it out after

Backstage with Eli Drake, he congratulates Alisha, and Jimmy Jacobs is sitting behind him. Jacobs wonders why he’s not on the card tonight. Eli says he will have a special Fact of Life, and Jacobs can be the guest.

Alisha backstage, says she can hang with the best of the Knockout’s Division.

Match Five: Heavenly Bodies [Desirable Dustin & Gigolo Justin] vs Team Tremendous [Detective Dan Berry & Detective Billy Carr]

Justin starts against Dan. Shoulder tackles takes down Justin and into a headlock. Forearm by Justin, punches from Dan. dropkick by Dan takes him down. Tags in Billy who chops him in the corner. Scoop slam, tags in Dan who hits a senton over the top rope for two. Knee by Justin and he tags in Dustin. Dropkick by Dan and he whips Dustin into the rope. Charges but is sent over the top, he elbows Justin, and Dustin, before Justin knocks Dan off the ring.

Cover by Dustin for 2. Dustin then throws Dan back out and Justin hits a senton off the apron. Justin tags in and rolls Dan back, cover for two. Short arm clothesline gets two again. Uppercut and he tags in Dustin who hits a leg lariat for two. Ground and pound by Dustin before Dan starts fighting back. Justin tags in, Dustin hits an arm ringer and Justin hits a moonsault off Dustin, referee is distracted, and finally counts for a one. Sanjay and Josh are talking about Josh frosting his tips here, it seems they’ve lost interest too.

Dan fights back, but can’t escape. Dan then whips Justin over the top rope, and Dan tries to tag Bill, but Dustin pulls him off the apron. Bodies double stop Dan in their corner. Justin with a scoop power bomb, go for a rocket launcher, but Dan moves. Justin stops Dan from getting a tag, then he finally does and Billy comes in like a house of fire. Exploder duplex to Justin gets two, Dustin comes off the top, Billy moves and Dustin splashes Justin. Billy tosses both men, and Dan hits a flip topi onto the Bodies on the outside. Justin is thrown in to Billy, who tosses him with an outsiders edge to a flatliner by Dan. Referee counted to three on the pin, but says he only did two as Dustin breaks it up. Billy gets Justin up for a Doomsday Device, but Dustin tags himself in. Double flap jack on Billy, Dan fights off both men, eats a super kick from Justin and a spinning power bomb from Dustin. Billy then throws Justin in to break up the pin.

Enziguri on Dustin by Dan, Superkick by Billy, Doomsday Sliced Bread by Dan for the 1-2-3

Your Winners: Team Tremendous

From earlier today, we see Homicide, and he says he is LAX, Konnan is despicable, and the little bitches in LAX are going to learn.

The Fact of Life with Eli Drake

Eli Drake comes out. Eli has had a cord hanging down the entire time, and he stops to plug it back in mid way through his talking segment. He pulls out a smart phone to show off the mobile version of the Eli Drake Dummy Button, so we can have a live version of The Facts Of Live. The app plays “Dummy, Yeah” every time you press the screen. He then brings out “The Zombie Princess” Jimmy Jacobs.

Jimmy says tonight is about what Eli needs, as he doesn’t understand what he’s getting into when he faces Eddie Edwards. Drake says he’s insulted by this talk and says he’s out of here, and Jimmy can say and do whatever he wants. Jimmy starts running down Binghamton, and says theres got to be someone out there who needs his help. He then calls out Santana from the LAX

Santana immediately gets in Jacobs’ face, who says he’s here to help. Jacobs also said he’s heard a rumor that Ortiz got jumped by the OGz, meaning Santana is all alone tonight. Jacobs offers to help Santana in his match tonight, one OG to another. Santana looks unimpressed, shakes Jacobs’ hand, and then hits a front kick to his face and a rolling senton in the corner.

Santana then calls out Homicide to start their match.

Match six, Street Fight: Santana vs Homicide (How does this not violate the cease fire?!?!)

Punches by both to start, Santana throws out Homicide and hits a suicide dive. Punches and chops back and forth, Homicide attempts to climb the scaffolding, and Santana hits a bodyslam on the floor. Thrusts to the throat by Homicide, and he chokes Santana on a ringside chair. Homicide then gets the chair, hits Santana in the gut. Homicide then gets a stick from a fan, but gets booted in the gut. Santana then jabs the metal rod into Homicide’s face.

Santana drapes Homicide over the guardrail and slams the chair into his back. Santana then clotheslines Homicide into a fan, poke in the eye by Homicide. Homicide slams Santana into the post and gets the chair. Homicide then tells the fans to shove it, and Santana hits about to the gut and throws a chair at Homicide. Santana throws him back in the ring, goes from a cross body, Homicide rolls through and gets a two count. Moonsault by Santana gets two.

Belly to Belly throw by Homicide off the ropes, and then an exploder by Homicide, bridged in to a two count. Homicide tells fans to suck it and then flips them off before Santana hits a boot to the face in the corner. Homicide puts Santana on the top and hits a cutter off the turnbuckle, gets two before Santana gets his foot on the bottom rope. Homicide threatens the referee before he charges the corner, nobody home as Santana sidesteps. Super kick by Santana, Michinoku Driver by Santana, who goes up top and hits a frog splash for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Santana

Backstage again with Eli Drake, who’s rehydrating. Eli lists off his three favorite moments of the night, all which involve himself. Also says in Fall of 2019, Night of the Dummies 2 will have no Jimy Jacobs as theres no room for princesses on his show.

Santana backstage, says by taking out Ortiz, the OGz have made this put bull more rabid.

Match seven: Brute Vanslyke (w/Father Derek) vs Sean Carr

Collar and elbow, Brute moves Sean into the corner. Collar and elbow again, he throws Sean in this time. Misses a charge, whip out and Bruce cartwheels out. Sunset flip attempt, Brute goes to sit, Sean moves. Standing moonsault by Sean gets one. Sean calls him out, Brute charges and Sean lowers the top rope. Sean hits a rolling sexton off the apron.

Back inside, Sean goes up top, but Father Derek shakes the rope, and a big boot by Brute takes him down. Face rake and Brute chokes him in the corner. Father Derek then chokes Sean on the bottom rope. Brute with a scoop slam followed by an elbow drop for two. Backbreaker by Brute, Sean gets up into another backbreaker. Sean reverses a third into a hurricanrana, putting Brute into the corner. Chops and a charging forearm, then a popup headbutt by Brute, then a cross body for two.

Brute puts Sean on the top, Sean fights back, hits a drop kick but Brute stays up. Enziguri and a Code Breaker, Brute is still up. Sean goes up top and hits a moonsault taking Brute down for a two count. Super kick misses, Bruce hits a wind up chokeslam and gets two. Sean slips out of a Razor’s Edge, can’t whip the big man. Big splash in the corner from Brute. Vader Bomb by Brute for two.

Brute goes back up, but misses a second Vader Bomb. Carr up top, Father Derek interferes, and gets a big boot from Sean on the apron. Brute then throws in Carr, who fights off Brute until Brute hits a left arm lariat. Brute goes up top, misses the splash! Super kick by Carr, and a second, ducks a clothesline and hits a third super kick!! Carr goes up top, Swanton Bomb for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Sean Carr

Fallah Bahh and KM backstage celebrating, but Bahh is upset KM isn’t wearing his matching gear. KM says if he can’t beat Moose wearing his gear, he will wear the matching gear for the rest of his career.

Match eight: Moose vs KM

Moose gets a mic, talking about how he went to Syracuse, just down the road. Says the fans didn’t help his career and Binghamton sucks. Tells KM to hurry up so he can beat him and get out of this God forsaken town.

KM starts the “Douche” chants

Moose ducks in the corner to start. Moose hits a boot, KM hits a shoulder block taking Moose down. Then another. Punch exchange, KM gets the best of it, and clotheslines Moose over the top. Moose pulls KM out and they fight on the floor. Moose goes to chop KM against the ring post, KM ducks and Moose hits his hand.

Moose then rams KM into the post. Referee still isn’t counting…

Moose gets a chair, sits KM in it. Punches and chops, Moose flips off the crowd and hits a running kick to KM’s face in the chair. Moose puts KM back on the chair, goes for the running kick again. KM catches him with a chokeslam on the apron. Finally the referee starts counting…KM asks him to stop counting as he goes and gets Moose. Moose then hits a belly to back duplex on the apron. Moose picks up KM and drops him again on the apron before rolling back in to the ring. KM gets back in to the ring at 9.

Moose uses ground and pound on KM and throws him back out. KM back in at nine again. Stomps from Moose, a snap mare, and a seated dropkick for two. Moose calls for the finish, can’t get KM up for the suplex, so he punches him. Tries the suplex again, KM counters into one of his own. KM puts Moose in the corner, whip reversed, KM boots Moose, but is dropkicked to the floor over the top!

Moose rolls out after KM and whips him into the ring post. Moose grabs the chair again and gives it to a fan. Moose parts the crowd, and fakes like he’s throwing KM into them, but rolls him into the ring. KM hits a baseball slide, and rolls Moose back in. Moose intercepts KM on the way back in, goes off the ropes and eats a POUNCE from KM. Both men down.

Moose thrown KM on the ramp, landing on his feet, KM hits a chokeslam and a slingshot splash for two. KM hits a neck breaker on Moose, Moose reverses a full nelson for two, hits a pump kick and them KM hits a clothesline, and a fell nelson slam for two. KM misses a corner charge, Moose charges into an elbow, and the Moose hits the Go To Hell for two! Moose looks for the Spear, eats a knee. KM behind, and Moose hits a low blow, a Spear, and gets the 1-2-3

Your winner: Moose

Bound For Glory video package

KM backstage wondering what he did wrong. Bahh is in the back eating, KM asks if he’s going to rub in his lost. KM is reminded of the bet, says he was kidding

Match nine: Eli Drake vs Eddie Edwards (w/Kenny the Kendo Stick)

Eddie high fives nearly ever member of the audience (yes the arena is that small)

Eli has a mic. Names Eddie a dummy, and says theres no kendo sticks allowed in a match with him. Tells the ref he has to disqualify him if he won’t get rid of it.

Eddie slaps Eli on the butt, who then rolls out of the ring, grabs a mic and says this is his show, so there will be no “ass slapping” on his show.

Collar and elbow tie up, headlock by Eli. Eddie shoots him off, shoulder tackle by Drake takes him down. Arm drag by Eddie, and a second and Eli rolls out again. Eli has a mic again. Says he hates cheaters, and arm drags are illegal.

Collar and elbow again. Eddie walks him to the corner. Eli with a low blow, and takes Eddie to the other corner. Whip reversed and Eddie hits a belly to belly throw. Eli rolls out again as Eddie does a snow angel in the ring. Eli has a mic and says he hates cheaters, and a braggart, no snow angels are allowed in the match.

Eli reenters and leaves again. Eddie joins him and the fight on the floor. Eli thumbs Eddie’s eye to take advantage, but gets chopped again! Cameras lose both men, as the chops continue. Eli rolls in, followed by Eddie, and he rolls back out. Eli has a mic again. Hates cheaters. Chops are illegal now.

Eli keeps talking and Eddie hits a big boot, sending him to the floor. Eddie goes for a dive, Eli hits him with the mic to the head. Eli now stomps away at Eddie on the floor. Eli makes Eddie wave to a fan, and then slams him back first in to the apron. Eli rolls Eddie onto the apron and hits an elbow. Eli slingshots Eddie into the bottom rope. Seated clothesline for two. Now Eli chokes Eddie on the middle tope, leaps out and slaps Eddie’s face.

Punches from Eddie, and a thumb to Eli’s eyes. Whips Eli across but misses the splash, Eli hits a neck breaker for a two count. Eli drops a knee and chokes Eddie again on the rope. Leg drop across the back on the middle rope. Kicks and a cover for two. Eli drops some elbows and locks on a reverse chin lock. Eddie bites his thumb, Eli lets go and hits a neck breaker for two. Eli then bites Eddie’s thumb. Outside the ring, Eli gets a chair, referee threatens a DQ, Eli says he was just kidding. Eddie then smashed Eli’s face in to the ring. Eddie takes a drink of a fans soda, and spits it into the eyes of Eli. Eli then pulls Eddie face first into the ramp. Eli rolls Eddie back in, covers for one.

Eddie reverses a scoop slam, Eli hits a neck breaker for two. Eddie’s gum here falls out of his mouth, landing on the mat, and he casually picks it back up and continues to chew it, grossing out both Josh and Sonjay. Rear chin lock by Eli, Eddie counters with a jaw breaker. Back to the chin lock, Eli throws Eddie to the buckle, Eddie hits a back elbow and a dropkick, both men are down. Scoop power slam by Eli, and then an elbow drop for two.

Eli picks up Eddie, hitting a snap suplex. Eli to the second rope, Eddie hits an enziguri. Eddie goes up top, hits the Frankensteiner. Punch exchange by both men. Eli takes advantage but Eddie doesn’t feel the pain. Two back elbows and then Eddie sends Eddie to the floor and hits a quebrada. Fans chanting “use the leg” as a fan holds up his prosthetic leg. Eddie takes it. Eddie kisses the prosthetic foot (ewwwww). Eli gets a mic, saying prosthetics are illegal. Eddie hits Eli with the camera man. As the refs was checking on the camera man, Eddie hits Eli with the prosthetic leg, then pretends its his in the ring before giving it back.

Both men back in, Eddie tries a Tiger Driver, hits a gordbuster, then hits the Tiger Driver for two and 3/4!!! Eddie then talks to his kendo stick before picking it up. Referee tries to stop Eddie, fans chant “hit the ref.” Eddie goes up, Eli hits the ref into the ropes dropping Eddie. Eli gets a chair, referee stops him, Eli shoves him down. Eddie hits Eli with the kendo stick and hits a DDT, covers Eli for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Eddie Edwards

Eddie then does a snow angel in the ring to celebrate

Eddie celebrates with the Xcite Wrestling crowd as we go off the air.

THAT’S ALL SHE WROTE!

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Coverage

Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 4.24.25

We get another chapter of Hardy Compound shenanigans! NEMETH BROTHERS! WE KNEW YOU’D COME!

Published

1 day ago

April 24, 2025

Andrew Balaz

Oh boy, the best thing to come from the TNA product has been on WWE programs for the last month or so. Can we start getting some non-garbage episodes that make sense with wrestling that isn’t useless or atrocious? And Trey Miguel is the first person out…so my faith is dwindling.

I hate these early stages of the Delirious Dreamer combination. This crap makes me miss Tigre Uno, Dixie Carter, hell even the Claire Lynch angle was so disgustingly cringe it was car crash entertaining. You know, like Jersey Shore. So let’s see if something can stop sucking.

.@NicTNemeth has a strange run-in with Willow The Wisp…

WATCH #TNAiMPACT on TNA+: https://t.co/ZTlWqchIaY pic.twitter.com/oATIF574yn

— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) April 25, 2025

Ratings:

Trey Miguel & Ace Austin vs Moose & JDC w/Alisha: JDC wins after interference – ** 1/4
Jacy Jayne w/ Fatal Influence vs Rosemary: Jacy wins via Rolling Punch – **
Cinematic Hardy Compound: Kaiba Boys vs Hardy Boyz: 15/7, 10/10, 100/100, Hardy thing ever!
Tessa Blanchard vs Missa Kate: Tessa wins via Buzzsaw DDT – **
Joe Hendry & Elijah vs Ethan Page & Kaz: Elijah wins via Highwayman’s Farewell – ** 3/4

Results:

Trey Miguel & Ace Austin vs Moose & JDC w/Alisha

JDC and Trey start it’s just chain wrestling, nothing worth notating. The big early spot is slow and dumb, Trey goes for a Springboard Moonsault while in the Arm Wringer to turn it into a slow Arm Drag followed by a slow Dropkick. Throws JDC into the face corner, and Moose is late to the help spot so Trey has to beckon for him to come forward for a Tandem Drop Toe Hold causing Moose to Headbutt JDC in the groin. Double Dropkick sends Moose to the floor, but he doesn’t sell it long so he plucks Trey off the apron, smashes him and JDC tags out as we go to commercial. Jesus Christ this is cornball trope start and no one is looking good in the first 5 minutes. Am I possibly a little a jaded? Well of course, the shows have sucked for weeks and you start with bog standard “make fun of the heel” team start and its slow and unengaging. Maybe Dreamer should ask Trips if TNA talent can use the PC to learn psychology or…something interesting.

We come back and the heels are still magically in control with JDC locking in a Hammerlock Suplex into a Keylock. Tag to Moose and Trey is sooo banged up apparently an Arm Wringer throws him to the mat like a bitch. Starting off the show so damn slow is not really a good luck to keep people watching the show. It’s only like 8:20 and I want to go to sleep. Moose of course gets cocky taking his time to do a Jacknife Powerbomb so of course Trey counters, Ace gets the hot tag and guess what? Ace starts laying out both guys with quick strikes, Tijeras, Kicks, Click Click Boom, his corner dodge into the Mochizuki Triangle Kick but Moose kicks out. *sigh*

Ace decides to tag Trey back in, but their version of Poetry in Motion gets caught by Moose and Moose Powerbombs Trey into Ace. System tandem offense, Dropkick from JDC, Uranage from Moose, Down and Dirty from Dango but Ace breaks up the pin. Ace assists Trey with the Knee Slide Tornado DDT to take out Moose, they look for a finish but Lish distracts the ref, Dango kicks Trey in the dick, Brian Myers interferes and JDC wins the match.

Yawn…basic bullshit is not really driving attention.

Next is a video package for Masha and Tessa with Masha talking…who can’t cut a promo in English and Dreamer of course inserts himself for a fake “do it for your trainer” add. Oh Christ, this is like Rocky IV from Wish, but the Russian is the babyface. I hate every second of this and welcome the commercial break.

While I think this promo goes on entirely too long, you can decide if it sucks or not:

.@Santana_Proud reflects ahead of #TNARebellion, where his war with @MustafaAli_X reaches its boiling point in a Falls Count Anywhere match.

WATCH #TNAiMPACT on TNA+: https://t.co/ZTlWqchalq pic.twitter.com/zeSr7tQQVT

— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) April 25, 2025

Jacy Jayne w/ Fatal Influence vs Rosemary

Start isn’t really a thing since Rosemary feigns the Mist so Jacy runs away, when she does get back in Rosemary clocks her, beats on her in the corner, Upside Down and then gorgeous Fallon and the pack tactics give Jacy enough of a distraction to PK kick Rosemary and take control. Rosemary gets out of a Headlock with biting, then bits Jacy on the face and follows it up with a Shotgun Dropkick. Jacy tries to Reverse the Irish Whip but Rosemary kicks off the buckle, turns and connects with a Flying Forearm. Rosemary gets a little distracted, eats a V-Trigger but zombie rises from the dead and Face Buster into a Spicolli Driver attempt, but Jazmyn gets involved, Rosemary drops Jazmyn and when she turns around Jacy connects with her Rolling Punch for the finish.

Fatal Influence attack Rosemary and Mirror Match Xias come to make the save.

.@milanmiracle is ON THE CASE! @Jazmyn_nyx_wwe, @FallonHenleyWWE and @jacyjaynewwe vs. @XiaBrookside, @TheLeiYingLee and @WeAreRosemary at #TNARebellion!?

WATCH #TNAiMPACT on TNA+: https://t.co/ZTlWqchIaY pic.twitter.com/eTAQNOgiO8

— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) April 25, 2025

Cinematic Hardy Compound: Kaiba Boys vs Hardy Boyz

Willow the Wisp sighting early, he drops the umbrella and starts dancing to Kendrick’s They Not Like Us, then Jeff shows up and attacks Nic, they brawl in a pickup truck. Seto Nic Ziggler hits the Superkick, but Jeff turns it around, they get on top of the cab and Jeff wants to Powerbomb Nic through conveniently placed tables, but Back Body Drop sends Jeff crashing. Nic goes into the truck and finds a tag team title. Is that the idea? First person to find the titles like an RPG quest?

Matt Pearl Harbors Mokuba near a fountain as it cuts to Nic walking through the house at the arcade, and he finds their title case and he thinks it’s booby trapped so he does the heist thing of replacing the title with an exercise weight. Matt has a PREMONITION!!! THe Kaibas have the titles! And Ryan turns things around for a moment until he eats gate and gets Speared into the pool with Reby playing piano looking like a snack. Ryan is teleported into the house for Maxel the Great with Senor Benjamin as the ticket taker and most of the Hardy kids sitting in the theater. It’s an old 1920s Silent Film with Maxel beating up Ryan and the kids keep saying he sucks. He gets showered in roses, Benjamin is crying the kids rejoice and cut back to Ryan floating in the pool. Dr Wolfie is diagnosing Ryan on the couch and they have a fantastic conversation. Wolfie blames the Matt Hardy fans for Booing Wolfie. Wolfie asks if Ryan if he ever hugged his parents and Ryan starts crying and Wolfie goes “That’ll be 500 dollars for the emotional damage”.

Gothic Baby Shadow Realms Ryan into his Emo Phase with Simple Plan playing. Then he has a roast battle with Bardie. Ryan is getting pelted with eggs while Matt is drowning him in the pool. Nic saves his Little Brother from drowning in the pool (been there). Maxel attacks, Nic Pie Faces the kid, Ryan ambushes Matt with a title shot and then BROTHER NERO! We’re just missing Itchweed to complete the essences of Jeff.

Nemeths see Jeff stalking them and they bail. So we may get a return to the Broken Brothers.

.@ryrynemnem is working some things out with Dr. Wolfie.

WATCH #TNAiMPACT on TNA+: https://t.co/ZTlWqchIaY pic.twitter.com/ydPCkpfP6l

— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) April 25, 2025

That was glorious and the fact it’s used as a set up for a real match instead of a replacement for a real match makes it actually better.

Tessa Blanchard vs Missa Kate

Tessa doesn’t take her serious after a quick flurry so Kate lands a Tilt-a-Whirl Gourdbuster before Tessa turns things around and lays in offense. Dropkick, Springboard Elbows, Teardrop Suplex, and Tessa calms down a little after taking complete control again. Tessa keeps Kate in the corner and lays in Forearms, Kicks, goes for a Splash but Kate finally dodges and slams Tessa face first into a Buckle. Tessa hits the Cutter, goes to the top, MAGNUM, Buzzsaw DDT just because.

Masha attacks Tessa after the match and hits the Russian Death Device and puts her in a Fujiwara Armbar until Tessa gets away and bails to the floor while Masha holds the ring.

Joe Hendry & Elijah vs Ethan Page & Kaz

This whole match is stupid. Hendry had no tape at Mania, went against “doctor’s orders” to defend the title at Rebellion this Sunday anyway…so they put him in a worthless tag match when they didn’t want him active? Delirious and Dreamer need to be shot in the head. It won’t hit anything.

Elijah and Kaz start this match, Kaz looks dumb and gets dogwalked and then Rope Walked because heels aren’t allowed to be competent against “fan favorites” until at least 3 minutes into a match. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Back from the commercial break, Hendry and Elijah Double Clothesline Kaz and he’ll prolly slip something in a minute or so. Elijah does 10 Count Punches dropping Kaz, into the ropes, Kaz hops over him but Elijah throws him towards Page. Weird…but okay. Ethan calls for Hendry, and they lock up causing Hendry to wince at the arm that isn’t Kayfabed well, but Hendry hits the ropes, Shoulder Tackle into Hip Toss with “bad” arm, now Stalling Suplex that is just dropped immediately because of “arm”. Tags out quickly to Elijah and Ethan gets Manhattan Dropped and Big Booted into Saturday. Kaz takes a cheap shot when Elijah hits the ropes, so Ethan pounces and the heels finally have some momentum. Double Team on Elijah into a Rude Awakening from Kaz for two.

Ethan tries to keep Elijah isolated, Elijah gets the boot up, but he cuts off Elijah from the tag, Ethan tags in Kaz and a Slingshot Leg Drop gets another two. Elijah fights out of the corner, knocks down Ethan, counter wrestling from Kaz and Elijah before a Jumping Knee Lift levels Kaz. Elijah looks for the tag but Ethan picks Hendry off the apron and throws him into the steps. Heels doing the dogpile thing. Ethan throws Elijah into a corner, Up and Over but Ethan catches him just to get kicked away. Joe drags himself to the corner, simultaneous tags, Lariats into Sack of Shit for both heels. Attitude Adjustment on Kaz for only two. Hendry is overselling the injury no one cares enough about to write logically. So good for him that he’s doing their job, it’s just creative that isn’t. Kaz catches Hendry in Fade to Black but Hendry gets out, Scoop Slam into the Springboard Leg Drop but Hendry kicks out. Kaz wants the Chicken Wing on the bad arm, but Ethan tags himself in causing infighting, Avalanche Tandem Superplex but Elijah shoves Ethan into the pinfall to break it. Elijah and Ethan throw hands, Crossroads from Elijah, Backstabber from Kaz, Rope Run Cutter from Hendry on Kaz, Spin and pose, Standing Ovation attempt but the arm gives, Elijah tags in, Ethan refuses to tag Kaz, Highwayman’s Farewell from Elijah.

Overall Score: 6.4/10

All of the points are for Fallon Henley existing, Lei Ying Lee and the Hardy Compound match. Without the Hardy match the show was like a 2. Bad logic, bad booking, heels are too samey with everyone being a dweeb that has to get beat on for 3-5 minutes before they can remember they can wrestle. Sean Waltman is also an interesting wrinkle in the System and Rascalz thing, but the first hour of this show was useless. If people continued to watch for the Hardy match, that was the only thing that may have entertained new eyes because of WrestleMania.

Rebellion is Sunday and next Thursday starts at 10 Eastern…ugh. If TNA doesn’t get off the west coast or work days, I won’t review any of this positively. First World problems, fully aware. But come on now, especially with the shit writing from the last month or so, this show isn’t worth staying up if they TNA personally paid people to review it. It would be totally different if the content was entertaining.

You know what, just give the Hardy’s the book. I’d rather insanity than forgetting to write in logic to a kayfabe injury and because things are pre-taped the WM appearance makes no sense and sudden over selling makes less sense. This isn’t booking into a corner this is booking into a Short Bus with a flat tire.

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Coverage

Andrew’s TNA iMAPCT! & Unbreakable Results & Match Ratings: 4.17.2025

iMPACT is the Pre-Show, Unbreakable is a TNA+ Special! See what happened!

Published

1 week ago

April 18, 2025

Andrew Balaz

iMPACT! is getting the old Heat treatment as a TV episode pre-show. While nothing about the iMPACT episode seems overly intriguing, they all actually have narrative weight, and since the last two weeks have been devoid of weight and general cohesion…this might be a surprisingly good episode which would serve as a better pre-show than expected.

I’m still mad that it’s a damn Thursday and they want to have 4-5 hours of show because WrestleMania reasons. Even WWE realized doing long shows before workdays was stupid, so NJPW giving them the idea to break Mania into two nights is a boon for everyone over thirty.

Also the main reason I’m doing a joint article. Since Unbreakable starts immediately after iMPACT, I’m not gonna put up back to back articles. One stop shoppin it!

Will @AJFrancis410 be crowned the FIR$T TNA International Champion TONIGHT at #TNAUnbreakable?!

WATCH #TNAiMPACT on TNA+: https://t.co/rT1TusIxJd pic.twitter.com/rxiBn6PxPw

— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) April 18, 2025

iMPACT! – Ratings:

Laredo vs Jason Hotch w/Tasha Steelz: Laredo wins via Laredo Fly – ** 1/4
Jazmyn Nyxx w/Fatal Influence vs Xia Brookside w/Lei Ying Lee: Xia wins via Small Package – **
KC Navarro vs Cody Deaner: KC wins via Loaded Fist – **
Maggie Lee & Heather by Elegance w/Personal Concierge vs Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley: Hot Topic Hotties win via Cemetery Drive – ** 1/4
Jakara Jackson w/Lash Legend vs Dani Luna w/Jody Threat: Dani wins via Luna Landing – ** 1/4
Leon Slater vs Brian Myers: Myers wins via Roster Cut – ** 1/2

Unbreakable – Quick Ratings:

Zachary Wentz vs Eric Young vs AJ Francis: Young wins via Piledriver – *** 1/4
Ace Austin vs Steve Maclin vs Eddie Edwards w/Alisha: Steve Maclin wins via KIA – *** 1/2
X Division Championship: Moose(c) w/Alisha vs Akeem: Moose wins via Lights Out – Long Squash
Mustafa Ali & Nemeths vs Hardys & Mike Santana: Jeff Hardy wins via Swanton Bomb – ***
Kaz & Tessa vs Joe Hendry & Masha: Hendry wins via Standing Ovation – ** 3/4
Barb Wire Massacre: Sami Callihan vs Mance Warner w/Steph De Lander: Callihan wins via Cactus Driver ’97 – ** 1/2
Inaugural International Championship: AJ Francis vs Steve Maclin vs Eric You: Maclin wins via K.I.A. – *** – TITLE CHANGE!!!

Results:

Laredo vs Jason Hotch w/Tasha Steelz

Laredo starts quick with a Straight Right, Tijeras, a few quick strikes, kicks Hotch out of the ring, wants a Plancha, but Tasha gets in the way to stop Laredo’s offense which gives Hotch an opening. Quick trip, a few chops and a hard Irish Whip has Laredo trying to catch his breath. Hotch tries to go for another Strong Irish Whip but Laredo reverses, two kicks, Flying Neckbreaker into a Missile Dropkick sending Hotch to the outside. Laredo finally pulls off his Suicida, and he’s rolling. Corner Forearm, Uno Mass Corkscrew Moonsaults, but Hotch manages to get away after two. A Snap Jab staggers Laredo, Ali style Outside In Rolling Neckbreaker and Hotch tries to take things to the top. But Laredo counters and Avalanche Michinoku Driver…only for two.

Laredo tries to keep things going, Back Handspring Crossbody, but Hotch catches him, big Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker for two. Hotch looks to the corner and then gets scared because he thinks Santana might strike, Hotch and Tasha argue, Laredo recovers and runs up the corner and hits the Laredo Fly for the win.

If @CodyDeaner can take down @KCwrestles tonight on #TNAiMPACT he punches his ticket Ultimate X at #TNARebellion! @milanmiracle

WATCH #TNAiMPACT on TNA+: https://t.co/rT1TusIxJd pic.twitter.com/T5zqKHVr24

— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) April 18, 2025

Jazmyn Nyx w/Fatal Influence vs Xia Brookside w/Lei Ying Lee

Jazmyn and Xia go for a chain wrestling or World of Sport kind of start. Xia even gets out of the Head Scissors with the classic Hand Stand and pop. After a little taunting, Jazmyn tries to charge but Xia loops around for a flash Cradle, Nyx kicks out quick and retreats to her Fatal Influence friends for a breather. Xia catches her with a Dropkick, a few strikes and starts putting things together until Jazmyn catches her in the corner and Snake Eyes Xia the hard way and then starts leaning her into the ropes, a few Leg Sweeps, PK kicks and Jazmyn is in control. Fisherman’s Suplex Hold from Jazmyn but Xia kicks at two. She tries to fight back up but Jazmyn is using her positioning to keep control. Bulldog into the middle buckle, puts Xia between the ropes and lays in a Round Kick to her chest and Xia has been eating offense for the last few minutes. The crowd tries to rally the little British Angel, but Jazmyn lays in some forearms, hits the ropes, Xia ducks and they hit stereo High Kicks to double down for a few moments.

Xia starts to rally, gets a few shots in, Tijeras, Xia tries Angel Wings but Jazmyn moves. Jazmyn tries to stay on her, but a Jawbreaker gives Xia time to go to the corner, Xia hits the Crossbody, Angel Wings, and looks for a DDT or something but Fatal Influence get involved distracting everyone. Lei has Fallon hanled, but Jacy is mouthing off causing Rosemary to come down and make a Mist save. Jazmyn tries to be opportunistic, but Xia blocks her move and hits the Small Package for the win.

Overbooked and timing was a bit shoddy in some spots, but not offensive. Not bad, but not good either.

KC Navarro vs Cody Deaner

This is for a spot in the Ultimate X match. Here’s to hoping the Blessed One beats the hell out of the loser who’s about as over as Herpes. Meaning he never goes away, and he’s unlikable. Anyone that says “Funny Underdogs are needed on shows”, isn’t that like 60% of the roster? No one is funny if everyone tries to be funny. KC however, he’s fucking hilarious and amazing.

KC tries to pay off Deaner and get him to forfeit, Deaner of course does the underdog thing of fighting back, dumb looking punches, goofball corner spot that he lengthens to the put of looking dumb and not funny. Oh thank God KC hits the Spiderman in the ropes, ducks Deaner and 305 gets hit for a near fall. Now KC is rolling, nice quick offense, Snapmare, Front Roll Neck Snap, Stomp into Split into cover for only two. Deaner goes for the comeback, and a few Lariats, Bulldog, and everything looks soo stupid. Deaner puts KC in the Airplane spin, gets dizzy and then goes again, TKO for two.

Navarro tries to powder, Deaner goes after him but the ref gets Deaner off of him since KC was in the ropes, KC wraps his necklace around his knuckles and a quick Jab to the face as Deaner tries to suplex him, 1-2-3, Blessed WIN.

If Deaner was the only doofus guy he’d be fine, but when we have Santino, Arianna, Laredo, KC, Great Hands, Brian Myers, Dango, Alisha, Hendry (while not a doofus isn’t close to serious), Kaz, Elegance Brand (all 3 of them), Ryan Nemeth and those are just off the top of my head. Everyone can’t be silly or no one is silly and nothing matters.

Maggie Lee & Heather by Elegance w/Personal Concierge vs Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley

I’m gonna keep any Gigi drooling to a minimum since I respect my boy Wentz, but I will say, you gotta love Hot Topic Hotties. Yes I like walking red flags, I’m self aware, and okay with it.

Maggie and Gigi start, a few quick counters, Gigi manages the Double Hook Cradle for two, then Hot Topic Hotties go tandem with a Dropkick and a Twisting Elbow for another two. Tatum is officially legal, Maggie looks for the tag but Heather wants to push Maggie more. Which is exactly how ASH treated her. Tatum turns it around, Gigi tags in, Poetry Bronco, and then Kawada Kicks from Gigi. Concierge distracts, Maggie grabs her, Heather takes the cheap shot, Suplex from Maggie for two. Heather and Maggie get some offense in together, and Heather is working Gigi over in the heel corner. Unicorn Stampede essentially. Heather goes for a pinfall and its only 2. Heather is getting frustrated, Gigi with an Upkick headscissors, Heather tries to stop the tag out, but eats the Mule Kick.

Tatum starts beating on Heather, rams Heather into Maggie, Cartwheel Peach Sunrise, tags in Gigi, Double Headbutts and Cemetery Drive from the Hot Topic Hotties and everyone wins. Jesus…will never leave this chat, he started it.

Jakara Jackson w/Lash Legend vs Dani Luna w/Jody Threat

Things start a little slow, Collar & Elbow tie up that they won’t relent for a while, Jakara tries to turn it into a Headlock Takeover, but Dani is too strong. Dani gets a few shots in, hops the rope for something but Lash makes her present felt and trips Dani while Jakara distracts the referee. The referee didn’t see anything but ejects Lash anyway. Lash won’t go, tries to intimidate the ref and say no. Jakara keeps things moving against Dani while Lash takes her sweet time slowly walking away. Jakara tries a Roll-Up but Dani too thicc to keep down. Dani fights back up, scoops Jakara and drops her unceremoniously.

Jakara starts laying in a bunch of Falling Knees and gets a quick two, before locking in a Cravat that Dani tries to fight out of. Dani counters out of it, ducks the Line, and they crash into each other with Forearms. The Double Fall Down spot is a little played out and this is only the pre-show really.

Dani levels Jakara with a few Lariats, looks for the Luna Landing, Jakara slips it so Dani comes off the ropes with a Busaiku Knee. Luna wants a Blue Thunder but Jakara gets away until Luna grabs her again for the Rebound Blue Thunder Bomb and a near fall. Luna charges the corner, misses, Jakara hits the Tornado DDT, but only two. Jakara tries to ram Dani’s head into the buckles, but Luna blocks, fires and takes Jakara’s head off, Luna Landing gets his and Dani wins!

Elijah has a promo segment and they have a really Sesame Street style “Walk this Way” words on the screen thing. When they did the bouncing ball lyrics with Ron Killings, it was at least cool. This comes off as corny and low budget public broadcasting crap just for Elijah to announce an open challenge at Rebellion or something. Admittedly I zoned out cause I figured it would be nothing of note.

Leon Slater vs Brian Myers

Myers and Slater start in a shoving match jawing at each other, and then Leon lays in a Shoulder Tackle off the ropes, some jumping crap and Myers is getting bounced from corner to corner like a dork. Leon tries to continue the Around the World but a punch, Thrust Kick and Irish Whip across the ring gives him some confidence, but he eats the Feint Mule Kick, Back Handspring Back Elbow…and again System matches are “look stupid and get beat up for 70% of the match until a shortcut can be taken”. Speaking of short cuts, Leon goes for his Corner Leap, Myers guards from it, Leon repositions but gets tripped and eats a Spear. Then…we go to commercial.

Coming out of the commercials Myers is still in control. Leon slips out of a suplex and then connects with a flurry of offense, Myers eats more kicks than I can count, powders, Leon does his corner post leap, comes in and looks to win but an Implant DDT, dick kick and Roster Cut gives Myers the win.

Overall iMPACT! Rating: 5/10

Nothing special but at least it made some sense and was a better than the last few episodes. Low bar comparatively. Now immediately onto Unbreakable! So because this is a long night, I figured I’d do a Watch A Long with Mat Sarpraicone over on Dirt Sheet Radio because I have zero faith in Unbreakable being worth the 2-3 hours it will take to watch it.

So you’ll get quick results with ratings and an overall thoughts at the end of Unbreakable from me, because it’s late and I needed something to keep me awake.

Overall Unbreakable Rating: 4.5/10

The iMPACT! episode was easier to watch and digest, three Triple Threats is too many and the Main Event being a slow paced triple threat after a Barb Wire match and a bunch of faster matches really doesn’t resonate well with fans. Even though I didn’t love the Sami vs Mance match, ending on carnage and the “babyface” winning would’ve been a much better way to send the crowd home happy and we wouldn’t have needed so much time fill during the last hour of the show.

Maclin being the inaugural International Champion is cool, setting up the first defense against Eric Young is good for their story, so most of the marks were hit. It just was too damn slow and had no business being a main event. Champions vs Challengers was okay, but it only really picked up when Masha and Tessa were mixing it up. I liked Moose having the extended squash match for shits and giggles, but two Triples back to back to open the show is an easy way to burn out a crowd. Sure the Moose match was an extended piss break to recharge the crowd, but the card was just laid out awkwardly and things felt like far more of a chore than they should have.

All in all this was a very lame event. Yes I get it was purely stop gap to take advantage of WrestleMania weekend, but with Rebellion next week, we all knew it wasn’t gonna shake things up too much. But hot damn was I about to fall asleep if I wasn’t doing the watch-a-long to not pass out.