Impact Coverage

Chris’ IMPACT! Wrestling One Night Only: Night of the Dummies Report

Published

6 years ago

September 17, 2018

Chris Pinheiro

Welcome to a SPECIAL EDITION (the second of the WEEK) of Chris’ IMPACT! Wrestling Results!!

Tonight, is IMPACT! Wrestling’s One Night Only: Night of the Dummies, exclusively on the GWN app

QUICK RESULTS

Jay Freddie d. Isys Ephex – pin fall, Leaping DDT
Fallah Bahh d. “Super Cop” Dick Justice – pin fall, Banzai Drop
Slyck Wagner Brown d. Axel Lennox – pin fall, Top Rope Sit Out Dominator
Alisha d. Rebel – pin fall, Backpack Stunner
Team Tremendous d. Heavenly Bodies – pin fall, Doomsday Sliced Bread, Dan pins Dustin
Street Fight: Santana d. Homicide – pin fall, Frog Splash
Sean Carr d. Brute Vanslyke – pin fall, Swanton Bomb
Moose d. KM – pin fall, Spear
Eddie Edwards d. Eli Drake – pin fall, DDT

___________________________________________________________________________________

IMPACT! Wrestling One Night Only: Night of the Dummies

Coming to you from a really small arena in Binghamton, New York, this is Night of the Dummies (YEAH!)

Match One: Jay Freddie vs Isys Ephex

The ring announcer mistakenly calls this a triple threat match

Josh Matthews and Sonjay Dutt calling the action

Arm ringers from both with some chain wrestling to start. Isis with a huge shoulder tackles, and Jay with a receipt. Two arm drags by Jay and a drop kick to take down Isys. Second drop kick and a cover for two. Jay charges the corner, gets placed on top and kicks away Isys, and hits a missile drop kick. Suicide dive puts Jay into the crowd (as they as SUPER close).

Back in the ring, Jay tries to hit a cross body, Isys tries a backbreaker counter and misses. Seated arm bar by Isys and punches to the gut. Cover for one. They exchange chops until Isys knees the midsection and moves Jay to the corner. Shoulder blocks, and he dumps Jay into the middle of the ring. Cover for two.

Punch exchange by both men, Isys gets a knee in and goes for a suplex thats blocked three times, and he drop kicks Jay’s knee out from under him. Supplies by Isys reversed into a reverse DDT by Jay, both men down. Running back elbows by Jay followed by a clothesline. Leg lariat by Jay after a missed clothesline, and a gut wrench duplex gets a 2-count.

Jay up to the second turnbuckle, leaps off to nothing, charges the corner by Isys gets a boot up and hits a DDT for 2. Kick to the back. Jay counters into a Tiger Driver for 2 and 3/4. Jay misses the Shining Wizard and counters in to the Awful Waffle (not making that up) for a 2-count. Isys puts Jay on the top buckle, gets head butted off and Jay hits leaping DDT for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Jay Freddie

Video of Eli Drake playing piano… horribly. He also can’t sing… Welcomes us to the show, says he’s gathered the top talent for us tonight. Sends us to his “guest correspondent” on the street to get the people’s reaction, and he sends it to Eli Drake.

Match Two: Dick Justice vs Fallah Bahh

Dick Justice was the “stand by wrestler” in IMPACT!, but here he is known as “The Super Cop”

Bahh tries to get a chant for himself, but the crowd just chants “Dick”. They shake hands and the fans chant “we want Dick.” Sumo charge and neither man goes down. Justice off the ropes, shoulder charge gets nothing “No No No” from Bahh. Bahh off the ropes with the same result. Second shoulder charge, and a third and fourth, and fifth. No result and now both men are winded. Both men off the ropes, collide and both men go down and out of the ring.

For some reason this starts the first Saintly Fecal Matter chant of the night…

Bahh charges in and they both hit a clothesline. Justice tries a slam, gets nothing but a double sledge to the back. Bahh charges Justice in the corner who pulls out a finger gun (yes, he made a gun shape with his fingers) and that stops Bahh in his tracks and Bahh puts his hands up. Justice orders Bahh to get on the ground, Bahh prays for his life and kisses the finger gun. The Bahh asks “No No No?” and Justice puts the finger gun away in his fanny pack that he’s still wearing. Justice goes for a hug, and Bahh hits a Samoan Drop.

Bahh hits a series of headbutts and then a Hadouken (WHAT?!?!) that takes Justice down. Bahh hits a dropkick (-ish) and then rolls over Justice. Bahh covers for two. Chop exchange by both men, Justice chops him into the corner, then calls time out as he’s winded. More chops then charges across and eats an elbow from Bahh. Bahh then charges and Justice moves and Bahh eats post. Left hand punches from Justice followed by a right, and he bodyslams Bahh.

Justice then leaves the ring and poses for the crowd. Justice returns to the ring and Bahh hits a belly to belly on Justice. Drags Justice to the corner, Banzai Drop for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Fallah Bahh

After the match, they shake hands and hug it out before Bahh leaves.

Backstage interview with Moose as he gets sentimental about how Binghampton sucks. Talks about how he gets to wrestle KM, saying he didn’t even know there was a man on the IMPACT! roster named KM…

Backstage now with Dick Justice, saying how he isn’t a stand by wrestler, he’s the Super Cop, and how he was going to put Bahh away, but Bahh is one of the smartest men he’s ever faced. Says next time, Justice will be served

Match Three: Slyck Wagner Brown vs Axel Lennox

Lennox looks like a reject from The Ascension…

Collar and elbow tie up to start. Side headlock by Brown, whipped off into a shoulder block, Lennox off the ropes into one of his own and takes down Brown. Chain wrestling take downs leads to a spot where Brown visually signals for Lennox to grab his wrist, which he does, just for Brown to duck under and escape and try his reverse DDT, but Lennox escapes as well.

Back to the collar and elbow. Wrist control to Lennox, but a leg sweep by Brown into a headlock. Lennox runs to the rope but Brown clotheslines his over the top. Brown grabs a fans water bottle and hits Lennox in the head with it. Clothesline by Brown on the floor. Lennox fights back and slams Brown’s face in to the guardrail twice. Lennox breaks up the nonexistent count, which now the referee starts…

Lennox places Brown on the apron and hits a leg drop. Back in the ring, he covers Brown for two. Lennox hits a scoop slam and an elbow drop again for two. Matthews says this maybe a rivalry, Sonjay says its one we know nothing about. Way to build the match guys…

Lennox goes for a suplex, Brown cradles for two. Double clothesline, both men down. Brown charges out of the corner with two clotheslines, then a short DDT after whipping Lennox off the ropes. Reversals a plenty until Lennox hits a spine buster for two. Cutter by Lennox, covers again for two. Punch exchange in the middle of the ring. Goes to the corner by Wagner hits a drop kick and then a power bomb. picks up Lennox, sets him on the top buckle and hits an enziguri to the back, then a sit out Dominator off the top for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Slyck Wagner Brown

An earlier today segment plays, Eddie is looking for his wife. Eddie finds potato salad, decides to take it. Finally finds her in the Knockout’s dressing room and offers her potato salad. Alisha calls Eddie the biggest dummy here and kicks him out.

Match Four: Rebel vs Alisha

Handshake to start, chest bumps from Rebel. Arm ringer by Alisha, Rebel just throws her across the ring and calls Alisha tiny. Waist lock, Rebel just walks her to the rope and hits an elbow. Alisha looking for a crucifix for one, backslide attempt is reversed, Rebel misses a kick on the ropes, Alisha gets a schoolgirl for two. Headlock take over by Alisha, Rebel just stands up. Rebel picks her up and plants her face first and dances over Alisha, then chokes Alisha on the second rope.

Rebel slams Alisha into the turnbuckle, then a second one, and a third. Rebel then hits a handspring clothesline, pulls out Alisha and goes for a delayed suplex, Alisha rolls her up and the roll back and fourth for a few two counts. Alisha chops, Rebel misses a few kicks, and then takes down Alisha. Shining Wizard by Rebel gets two. Alisha catches a kick and makes Rebel do the splits, hits a dropkick for two.

Alisha goes for a body scissor, Rebel grabs the hair and then face plants Alisha for two. Off the ropes, Rebel hits a roundhouse kick and celebrates. Referee checks Alisha to see if she’s knocked out, she’s not, Rebel covers for two. Rebel goes for the handspring clothesline again but Alisha moves and hits a palm strike and forearms to take down Rebel. Alisha hits a charging forearm and a bulldog for two.

Rebel hits a scoop slam, goes to the second buckle. Alisha hits the worst looking backpack stunner for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Alisha

They shake hands and hug it out after

Backstage with Eli Drake, he congratulates Alisha, and Jimmy Jacobs is sitting behind him. Jacobs wonders why he’s not on the card tonight. Eli says he will have a special Fact of Life, and Jacobs can be the guest.

Alisha backstage, says she can hang with the best of the Knockout’s Division.

Match Five: Heavenly Bodies [Desirable Dustin & Gigolo Justin] vs Team Tremendous [Detective Dan Berry & Detective Billy Carr]

Justin starts against Dan. Shoulder tackles takes down Justin and into a headlock. Forearm by Justin, punches from Dan. dropkick by Dan takes him down. Tags in Billy who chops him in the corner. Scoop slam, tags in Dan who hits a senton over the top rope for two. Knee by Justin and he tags in Dustin. Dropkick by Dan and he whips Dustin into the rope. Charges but is sent over the top, he elbows Justin, and Dustin, before Justin knocks Dan off the ring.

Cover by Dustin for 2. Dustin then throws Dan back out and Justin hits a senton off the apron. Justin tags in and rolls Dan back, cover for two. Short arm clothesline gets two again. Uppercut and he tags in Dustin who hits a leg lariat for two. Ground and pound by Dustin before Dan starts fighting back. Justin tags in, Dustin hits an arm ringer and Justin hits a moonsault off Dustin, referee is distracted, and finally counts for a one. Sanjay and Josh are talking about Josh frosting his tips here, it seems they’ve lost interest too.

Dan fights back, but can’t escape. Dan then whips Justin over the top rope, and Dan tries to tag Bill, but Dustin pulls him off the apron. Bodies double stop Dan in their corner. Justin with a scoop power bomb, go for a rocket launcher, but Dan moves. Justin stops Dan from getting a tag, then he finally does and Billy comes in like a house of fire. Exploder duplex to Justin gets two, Dustin comes off the top, Billy moves and Dustin splashes Justin. Billy tosses both men, and Dan hits a flip topi onto the Bodies on the outside. Justin is thrown in to Billy, who tosses him with an outsiders edge to a flatliner by Dan. Referee counted to three on the pin, but says he only did two as Dustin breaks it up. Billy gets Justin up for a Doomsday Device, but Dustin tags himself in. Double flap jack on Billy, Dan fights off both men, eats a super kick from Justin and a spinning power bomb from Dustin. Billy then throws Justin in to break up the pin.

Enziguri on Dustin by Dan, Superkick by Billy, Doomsday Sliced Bread by Dan for the 1-2-3

Your Winners: Team Tremendous

From earlier today, we see Homicide, and he says he is LAX, Konnan is despicable, and the little bitches in LAX are going to learn.

The Fact of Life with Eli Drake

Eli Drake comes out. Eli has had a cord hanging down the entire time, and he stops to plug it back in mid way through his talking segment. He pulls out a smart phone to show off the mobile version of the Eli Drake Dummy Button, so we can have a live version of The Facts Of Live. The app plays “Dummy, Yeah” every time you press the screen. He then brings out “The Zombie Princess” Jimmy Jacobs.

Jimmy says tonight is about what Eli needs, as he doesn’t understand what he’s getting into when he faces Eddie Edwards. Drake says he’s insulted by this talk and says he’s out of here, and Jimmy can say and do whatever he wants. Jimmy starts running down Binghamton, and says theres got to be someone out there who needs his help. He then calls out Santana from the LAX

Santana immediately gets in Jacobs’ face, who says he’s here to help. Jacobs also said he’s heard a rumor that Ortiz got jumped by the OGz, meaning Santana is all alone tonight. Jacobs offers to help Santana in his match tonight, one OG to another. Santana looks unimpressed, shakes Jacobs’ hand, and then hits a front kick to his face and a rolling senton in the corner.

Santana then calls out Homicide to start their match.

Match six, Street Fight: Santana vs Homicide (How does this not violate the cease fire?!?!)

Punches by both to start, Santana throws out Homicide and hits a suicide dive. Punches and chops back and forth, Homicide attempts to climb the scaffolding, and Santana hits a bodyslam on the floor. Thrusts to the throat by Homicide, and he chokes Santana on a ringside chair. Homicide then gets the chair, hits Santana in the gut. Homicide then gets a stick from a fan, but gets booted in the gut. Santana then jabs the metal rod into Homicide’s face.

Santana drapes Homicide over the guardrail and slams the chair into his back. Santana then clotheslines Homicide into a fan, poke in the eye by Homicide. Homicide slams Santana into the post and gets the chair. Homicide then tells the fans to shove it, and Santana hits about to the gut and throws a chair at Homicide. Santana throws him back in the ring, goes from a cross body, Homicide rolls through and gets a two count. Moonsault by Santana gets two.

Belly to Belly throw by Homicide off the ropes, and then an exploder by Homicide, bridged in to a two count. Homicide tells fans to suck it and then flips them off before Santana hits a boot to the face in the corner. Homicide puts Santana on the top and hits a cutter off the turnbuckle, gets two before Santana gets his foot on the bottom rope. Homicide threatens the referee before he charges the corner, nobody home as Santana sidesteps. Super kick by Santana, Michinoku Driver by Santana, who goes up top and hits a frog splash for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Santana

Backstage again with Eli Drake, who’s rehydrating. Eli lists off his three favorite moments of the night, all which involve himself. Also says in Fall of 2019, Night of the Dummies 2 will have no Jimy Jacobs as theres no room for princesses on his show.

Santana backstage, says by taking out Ortiz, the OGz have made this put bull more rabid.

Match seven: Brute Vanslyke (w/Father Derek) vs Sean Carr

Collar and elbow, Brute moves Sean into the corner. Collar and elbow again, he throws Sean in this time. Misses a charge, whip out and Bruce cartwheels out. Sunset flip attempt, Brute goes to sit, Sean moves. Standing moonsault by Sean gets one. Sean calls him out, Brute charges and Sean lowers the top rope. Sean hits a rolling sexton off the apron.

Back inside, Sean goes up top, but Father Derek shakes the rope, and a big boot by Brute takes him down. Face rake and Brute chokes him in the corner. Father Derek then chokes Sean on the bottom rope. Brute with a scoop slam followed by an elbow drop for two. Backbreaker by Brute, Sean gets up into another backbreaker. Sean reverses a third into a hurricanrana, putting Brute into the corner. Chops and a charging forearm, then a popup headbutt by Brute, then a cross body for two.

Brute puts Sean on the top, Sean fights back, hits a drop kick but Brute stays up. Enziguri and a Code Breaker, Brute is still up. Sean goes up top and hits a moonsault taking Brute down for a two count. Super kick misses, Bruce hits a wind up chokeslam and gets two. Sean slips out of a Razor’s Edge, can’t whip the big man. Big splash in the corner from Brute. Vader Bomb by Brute for two.

Brute goes back up, but misses a second Vader Bomb. Carr up top, Father Derek interferes, and gets a big boot from Sean on the apron. Brute then throws in Carr, who fights off Brute until Brute hits a left arm lariat. Brute goes up top, misses the splash! Super kick by Carr, and a second, ducks a clothesline and hits a third super kick!! Carr goes up top, Swanton Bomb for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Sean Carr

Fallah Bahh and KM backstage celebrating, but Bahh is upset KM isn’t wearing his matching gear. KM says if he can’t beat Moose wearing his gear, he will wear the matching gear for the rest of his career.

Match eight: Moose vs KM

Moose gets a mic, talking about how he went to Syracuse, just down the road. Says the fans didn’t help his career and Binghamton sucks. Tells KM to hurry up so he can beat him and get out of this God forsaken town.

KM starts the “Douche” chants

Moose ducks in the corner to start. Moose hits a boot, KM hits a shoulder block taking Moose down. Then another. Punch exchange, KM gets the best of it, and clotheslines Moose over the top. Moose pulls KM out and they fight on the floor. Moose goes to chop KM against the ring post, KM ducks and Moose hits his hand.

Moose then rams KM into the post. Referee still isn’t counting…

Moose gets a chair, sits KM in it. Punches and chops, Moose flips off the crowd and hits a running kick to KM’s face in the chair. Moose puts KM back on the chair, goes for the running kick again. KM catches him with a chokeslam on the apron. Finally the referee starts counting…KM asks him to stop counting as he goes and gets Moose. Moose then hits a belly to back duplex on the apron. Moose picks up KM and drops him again on the apron before rolling back in to the ring. KM gets back in to the ring at 9.

Moose uses ground and pound on KM and throws him back out. KM back in at nine again. Stomps from Moose, a snap mare, and a seated dropkick for two. Moose calls for the finish, can’t get KM up for the suplex, so he punches him. Tries the suplex again, KM counters into one of his own. KM puts Moose in the corner, whip reversed, KM boots Moose, but is dropkicked to the floor over the top!

Moose rolls out after KM and whips him into the ring post. Moose grabs the chair again and gives it to a fan. Moose parts the crowd, and fakes like he’s throwing KM into them, but rolls him into the ring. KM hits a baseball slide, and rolls Moose back in. Moose intercepts KM on the way back in, goes off the ropes and eats a POUNCE from KM. Both men down.

Moose thrown KM on the ramp, landing on his feet, KM hits a chokeslam and a slingshot splash for two. KM hits a neck breaker on Moose, Moose reverses a full nelson for two, hits a pump kick and them KM hits a clothesline, and a fell nelson slam for two. KM misses a corner charge, Moose charges into an elbow, and the Moose hits the Go To Hell for two! Moose looks for the Spear, eats a knee. KM behind, and Moose hits a low blow, a Spear, and gets the 1-2-3

Your winner: Moose

Bound For Glory video package

KM backstage wondering what he did wrong. Bahh is in the back eating, KM asks if he’s going to rub in his lost. KM is reminded of the bet, says he was kidding

Match nine: Eli Drake vs Eddie Edwards (w/Kenny the Kendo Stick)

Eddie high fives nearly ever member of the audience (yes the arena is that small)

Eli has a mic. Names Eddie a dummy, and says theres no kendo sticks allowed in a match with him. Tells the ref he has to disqualify him if he won’t get rid of it.

Eddie slaps Eli on the butt, who then rolls out of the ring, grabs a mic and says this is his show, so there will be no “ass slapping” on his show.

Collar and elbow tie up, headlock by Eli. Eddie shoots him off, shoulder tackle by Drake takes him down. Arm drag by Eddie, and a second and Eli rolls out again. Eli has a mic again. Says he hates cheaters, and arm drags are illegal.

Collar and elbow again. Eddie walks him to the corner. Eli with a low blow, and takes Eddie to the other corner. Whip reversed and Eddie hits a belly to belly throw. Eli rolls out again as Eddie does a snow angel in the ring. Eli has a mic and says he hates cheaters, and a braggart, no snow angels are allowed in the match.

Eli reenters and leaves again. Eddie joins him and the fight on the floor. Eli thumbs Eddie’s eye to take advantage, but gets chopped again! Cameras lose both men, as the chops continue. Eli rolls in, followed by Eddie, and he rolls back out. Eli has a mic again. Hates cheaters. Chops are illegal now.

Eli keeps talking and Eddie hits a big boot, sending him to the floor. Eddie goes for a dive, Eli hits him with the mic to the head. Eli now stomps away at Eddie on the floor. Eli makes Eddie wave to a fan, and then slams him back first in to the apron. Eli rolls Eddie onto the apron and hits an elbow. Eli slingshots Eddie into the bottom rope. Seated clothesline for two. Now Eli chokes Eddie on the middle tope, leaps out and slaps Eddie’s face.

Punches from Eddie, and a thumb to Eli’s eyes. Whips Eli across but misses the splash, Eli hits a neck breaker for a two count. Eli drops a knee and chokes Eddie again on the rope. Leg drop across the back on the middle rope. Kicks and a cover for two. Eli drops some elbows and locks on a reverse chin lock. Eddie bites his thumb, Eli lets go and hits a neck breaker for two. Eli then bites Eddie’s thumb. Outside the ring, Eli gets a chair, referee threatens a DQ, Eli says he was just kidding. Eddie then smashed Eli’s face in to the ring. Eddie takes a drink of a fans soda, and spits it into the eyes of Eli. Eli then pulls Eddie face first into the ramp. Eli rolls Eddie back in, covers for one.

Eddie reverses a scoop slam, Eli hits a neck breaker for two. Eddie’s gum here falls out of his mouth, landing on the mat, and he casually picks it back up and continues to chew it, grossing out both Josh and Sonjay. Rear chin lock by Eli, Eddie counters with a jaw breaker. Back to the chin lock, Eli throws Eddie to the buckle, Eddie hits a back elbow and a dropkick, both men are down. Scoop power slam by Eli, and then an elbow drop for two.

Eli picks up Eddie, hitting a snap suplex. Eli to the second rope, Eddie hits an enziguri. Eddie goes up top, hits the Frankensteiner. Punch exchange by both men. Eli takes advantage but Eddie doesn’t feel the pain. Two back elbows and then Eddie sends Eddie to the floor and hits a quebrada. Fans chanting “use the leg” as a fan holds up his prosthetic leg. Eddie takes it. Eddie kisses the prosthetic foot (ewwwww). Eli gets a mic, saying prosthetics are illegal. Eddie hits Eli with the camera man. As the refs was checking on the camera man, Eddie hits Eli with the prosthetic leg, then pretends its his in the ring before giving it back.

Both men back in, Eddie tries a Tiger Driver, hits a gordbuster, then hits the Tiger Driver for two and 3/4!!! Eddie then talks to his kendo stick before picking it up. Referee tries to stop Eddie, fans chant “hit the ref.” Eddie goes up, Eli hits the ref into the ropes dropping Eddie. Eli gets a chair, referee stops him, Eli shoves him down. Eddie hits Eli with the kendo stick and hits a DDT, covers Eli for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Eddie Edwards

Eddie then does a snow angel in the ring to celebrate

Eddie celebrates with the Xcite Wrestling crowd as we go off the air.

THAT’S ALL SHE WROTE!

Grab your beard oil and join me on Twitter @OldSkewlPantz

Follow Turnbuckle Topics on Instagram: @turnbuckletopics

Listen to the Bearded IMPACT Podcast every Friday on Anchor.fm, iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Breaker, Stitcher and Radio Public!!!!

About Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)

WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)

THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)

FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)

SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)

TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends

Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5

Classic POD is WAR

Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!

All Shows On Demand

Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!

Up Next

Chris’ IMPACT! Wrestling Results & Report (9/20/18)

Don't Miss

Chris’ IMPACT Wrestling Results & Report! (9/13/18)

Coverage

Andrew’s TNA Final Resolution Results & Match Ratings: 12.13.24

TNA’s last PLE of 2024! AJ Francis challenges for the world title! Moose vs Kushida for the X Division title, and the Hardyz in a tables match! Check it out!

Published

1 week ago

December 13, 2024

Andrew Balaz

You know, I said it a week ago and that’s part of why I couldn’t bring myself to care yesterday. “When the company doesn’t treat the matches like they care, why should I”. This card looks like such a B Level nothing show, I really hope there’s some big surprises for the end of 2024 or at least quality matches.

TNA has squandered the good faith the earned the last few years, and I just wish they’d figure it the hell out. Let’s see if this is worth the time I invest into watching it.

.@AJFrancis410 gets his shot at @NicTNemeth's TNA World Championship TONIGHT at #TNAFinalResolution! @MeanGiaMiller

Watch #TNAFinalResolution NOW on TNA+: https://t.co/2yJ0D55Gab pic.twitter.com/fFWlEYycbm

— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) December 14, 2024

Ratings:

X Division Championship: Moose (c) vs Kushida: Moose retains via Lights Out – *** 1/4
Sami Callihan & PCO vs The Rascalz vs Jake Something: Rascalz win via Feed ‘Em to the Lions – ***
Ace Austin vs Trent Seven: Ace wins via 1-2-Sweet – *** 1/4
Rosemary vs Jordynne Grace: No Contest, Tessa Blanchard returns – ** 1/2
Number 1 Contender Match: Mike Santana vs Joe Hendry vs Steve Maclin vs Josh Alexander: Joe Hendry wins via Standing Ovation – *** 3/4
NoDQ: TNA Knockouts World Championship: Masha Slamovich (c) vs Tasha Steelz w/Alisha Edwards: Masha retains via Requiem – ** 1/4
TNA Tag Team Titles Table Match: The Hardyz (c) vs The System: Hardyz retain – *** 3/4
TNA World Championship: Nic Nemeth (c) vs AJ Francis w/KC Navarro: Nic retains via Danger Zone – ** 3/4

Results:

X Division Championship: Moose (c) vs Kushida

Moose goes right after Kushida early, but Kushida dodges, Moose posts his left arm and Kushi starts working on it. Low Bridge from Kushida sends Moose out, Kushida tries to follow up with a Diving Frakensteiner but Moose blocks it, reverses Kushida into the steps and then a big Apron Bomb probably reminds Kushida that outside of the ring is not his friend. Don’t agree? Ask Kushida how that Hiromu Takahashi match went with the Inside Out Sunset Bomb. Moose….wait he stops the referee from counting out Kushida. Moose tries to pick his spot to charge Kushida into the steps, but Kushi dodges and Moose crashes into the steps. Kushida smashes Moose’s arm into the steps and starts looking to continue picking apart the champion. Soccer Ball kick to the arm, Kushida grates Moose’s hand against the ropes, papercut/rope burn style forces Moose to gauge the eyes for some space. Kushi perches but Moose hits the Go To Hell for a near fall!

Moose sells the arm that Kushida was working on, tries a one armed Piledriver but Kushida gets away from him, some rope running that Kushida gets the best of with the Handstand Kick, big Shotei as Moose sells to the corner, and Kushida tries more but eats an Uranage for his troubles. Moose disrespects Kushida and it fires him up, Round Kicks aplenty into the first attempt at the Hoverboard Lock. Moose fights it off but eats a Flatliner into the buckles and then Back to the Future! But only two! They trade punches, Tanaka Punch from Kushida and then he goes to the corner with Moose, floats over and HOVERBOARD LOCK! It’s close but Moose barely gets to the ropes after a few near tap outs. Kushida tries to collect Moose, but Moose pulls him into the corner buckles, looks for Lights Out but Kushida counters with a Small Package. Powerbomb attempt, Cradle from Kushida, locomotion action, Kushida looks for the Back Handspring Elbow but Moose connects on the Million Dollar Dropkick and then Lights Out to retain!

Sami Callihan & PCO vs The Rascalz vs Jake Something

So Hammerstone was at taping, but too hurt for the match? Hammer really needs to change whatever he’s been doing lately. He’s been injured more often this year than healthy. I think that bodybuilding competition put too much of a strain on him and he’s getting injured left and right. Jake decides to go at it alone, so let’s see what happens.

Sami and Wentz start, and simple tie up, not much happens and they work towards Jake’s corner for no real reason and Jake tags himself in on Sami so he comes in and starts running over Wentz, literally. Wentz does manage to slip a power move and tag in Trey, they go for speed kills and hits MCMG’s High Speed Dirt. Jake is annoyed so he tags out to PCO and PCO drops Jake in return. Rascalz then hit the ABC tandem combination, but PCO no sells and starts destroying both Rascalz. Sami comes in and he keeps beating on Trey, grounds him and just connects Forearm shots to the back of the head. PCO and Sami have some more decent tandem work, Sami uses PCO like a battering ram and drives PCO into Trey’s chest. Leg Drop follows up from PCO and tags back in Sami, and they keep on Trey. Trey isn’t looking too great, he fights back, hits the split too early to dodge a double clothesline, but like a C for effort. Jake blind tags, Trey tags in Wentz and then start brawling on the ramp. Wentz counters a Powerbomb into the Frankensteiner and catches Jake tries to jump for the Thesz Press for the Face Flapjack and a nice German Suplex from Wentz on Jake. Tags in Trey, Cristo + Superkick tandem move, Rascalz look to win but Sami just falls into the pile. Everybody exits the ring, Sami tries to Dive, but Trey Superkick blocks, and Dives himself, Sami tries another Dive but Wentz gets in the way, but Sami catches his foot and throws Wentz out of the ring. Sami thinks about a third, but tells PCO to do flip, so PCO Sault to the outside on everyone! Signature spam everybody down moment of the match.

Jake hits one Rascal with another Rascal, then hits the Sitout Powerbomb on Sami, looks to do the same to PCO…and EXECUTES THE POWERBOMB! But PCO sits right up and they throw hands. PCO looks for the Scorpion Deathdrop, but Trey breaks it up, Wentz UFO Cutter on PCO, they take out Sami, Rascalz double up on Jake, Feed Em to the Lions, and The Rascalz win!

After the match, Sami congratulates the Rascalz, the lights go out and the 23 vignette goes off.

Ace Austin vs Trent Seven

Things spill outside quickly, Ace takes early control using the apron. He throws Trent back in, but as Ace tries a Springboard Trent hits the ropes to cause Ace to crash and Trent takes advantage with a few great quick moves including a quick Flowsion for two. PK, cover, PK, cover, he’s trying to wear out Ace. Trent just Chops the hell out of Ace, but Ace chides Trent so Trent Chops Ace’s inner thigh and snaps off a DDT for 2. He then rubs his balls with Ace’s Chris Bey t-shirt, rips it apart and throws it to the outside. Trent is being a heel, turns around and Ace hits him with the Waterwheel Kick, into a Yakuza Kick, and keeps Trent driven into the corner, connects a few Chops of his own, perches Trent and looks for something, but Trent counters, then Ace counters and connects the Gamengiri and goes for the apron run Outside In Avalanche Headscissors into a Double Stomp for only two. Ace hits the top rope for something, but Trent chops the back of the thigh, goes to apron, collects Ace and hits an Apron Birminghammer!

Trent rolls Ace into the ring, goes for a pin but Ace barely gets a foot on the ropes. Trent with the Finger Snap into X-Plex for yet another 2 count. Seven Star Lariat attempt, but Ace blocks, hits the Short Arm V Trigger, Bop & Bang, Ace recoils into the Art of Finesse but Trent hits a Chop to the back! Trent lands the Seven Start Lariat into a Corkscrew Piledriver but Ace kicks out at one! Birminghammer attempt, no, X-Plex gets countered into a DDT, Art of Finesse into The Fold! Ace wins via the 1-2-Sweet!

Rosemary vs Jordynne Grace

Rosemary charges at the bell, Jordynne connects on Forearms, tries the backfist but misses, however Rosemary can’t do much as Jordynne stays on her Sliding D Forearm for a near fall. Jordynne keeps connecting with Vader Hamers, perches Rosemary, but Rosemary fights out, tries the Sunset Bomb but Jordynne holds on, Rosemary bites Jordynne. Jordynne looks for the Japanese Ocean Bomb but Rosemary counters that into the Upside Down and heads back into the ring with a big Lariat and hammer shots to the back of Jordynne’s head. Rosemary focuses the arms of Jordynne, and Jordynne tries to fight back but gets caught a few times, gets stuck in the ropes and Rosemary kicks her in the face. Rosemary chokes her against the ropes til 4, then Sliding D from Rosemary, Upside Down attempt again but Jordynne fights it off, Rosemary stops Jordynne from doing anything but Jordynne tries to reverse the Irish Whip and Rosemary launches off the steps with a Superman Punch.

Rosemary is okay with waiting for the Count Out, but Jordynne is back in at 8. Rosemary tries a Backslide, but Jordynne stops her, rams her into the corner, hits her own Backslide then Forearm, but Rosemary sits up, the brawl happens, Jordynne hits the Air Raid Crash for two! Spinning Backfist, World’s Strongest Slam, Vader B-no the Vader Bomb misses and Rosemary hits the Spear! But Jordynne rolls through it, Rosemary tries to launch off the ropes and Jordynne hits an Uppercut! Back and forth brawling from both, they brawl to the outside, Rosemary tries the Rear Naked Choke on the ramp as the referee starts to count. Jordynne falls back to break the choke and the ref checks on them. Jordynne kicks Rosemary away but Rosemary doesn’t go far and hits a Spear through the ropes back into the ring, two count! As Above So Below attempt but Jordynne counters, Kinikku Buster! 1 -2 – The referee gets pulled out! Tessa Blanchard is back!

She beats the hell out of Jordynne, hits her Hammerlock DDT and leaves Jordynne laying. I guess the match is a No Contest because we immediately go to a package for Genesis.

Tessa Blanchard just attacked @JordynneGrace at #TNAFinalResolution!

Watch #TNAFinalResolution NOW on TNA+: https://t.co/2yJ0D55Gab pic.twitter.com/vBNhzorZt8

— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) December 14, 2024

Number 1 Contender Match: Mike Santana vs Joe Hendry vs Steve Maclin vs Josh Alexander:

Things spill out random early, but Santana and Josh square off early. Santana hits a few Chops but Josh dumps him out, Maclin comes in and Josh knocks Maclin down so he powders. Hendry comes in, starts working over Josh, then Santana, Hendry and Maclin hit a locomotion spot to take Josh out for a little bit. Square off for a minute and then they start swinging. Enzuigiri from Santana rocks Maclin, Santana tries to continue but Maclin counters and levels him with a Lariat. Hendry pops up and goes after Maclin and goes into the Stalling Suplex. Josh slides back in, dispatches Hendry for a moment and then takes Maclin to the Germany. Hendry tries to come in and make something happen but Josh holds the ring. Santana pops up to get knocked down, Hendry gets crotched and rocked. Josh goes for a Dropkick but Hendry does the ole Samoa Joe “Nope” and Josh crashes. After the small moment of levity, Josh connects with a for strikes, keeps Santana on the outside and Hendry is firing up as he absorbs the strikes. But in the fire attempt, Josh hits the Kitchen Sink and throws Hendry out. Santana takes this as his cue to try, and him and Josh have the strike exchange spot.

Santana goes to the ropes, Josh catches him, Santana tries to fight off but gets dropped on the apron and the Low Crossbody from Josh takes out Santana. Josh peppers in a few shots on Hendry and Maclin to keep them down, goes back inside with Santana and starts beating on Santana some more. DDT and then King Kong Knee Drop from Josh for two! Hendry tries but Josh says go away, Maclin is struggling to his feet on the ramp as Santana keeps getting worked over. Josh sees Maclin, Maclin tries to Back Drop Josh, but Josh floats over and German Suplex on the ramp! Josh goes back in, tries the C4 Spike on Santana, but Santana fights off, a little bit of positioning and Rolling Buck Fifty connects! Spin the Block, misses, they trade hands in the corner, perches Santana, they fight on the top rope. Maclin and Hendry show up to pluck Josh off the ropes and Santana hits the old LAX finish Street Sweeper! Hendry and Santana stand up first and throw hands. Hendry gets the best of thing, a few Lariats into a Sack of Shit and Kip Up. Hendry does the turn around and eats a Busaiku Knee from Maclin. Santana comes in, Maclin tries to Leap Frog but Santana catches him into the Spicolli Driver. Josh gets up, Santana tries another Rolling Buck Fifty but Josh stops it and turns it into a Torture Rack Bomb!

Hendry and Josh fight up the corner, Hendry with the Avalanche Sack of Shit, Maclin with the Jar Headbutt, Santana Frog Splash for 1-2 but Josh breaks it up! They all fight to the outside, dives, and even Hendry hits his Senton Dive! The crown pops, Maclin and Hendry are in but hit the simultaneous Lariat spot. During the spot, Josh bounces Santana off the guardrail and zip ties him to the guardrail. In the ring Hendry gets put in the Tree of Woe, Caught in the Crosshairs! Josh comes in, Low Blow on Maclin, looks for the C4 Spike but Hendry spins him around, Standing Ovation! JOE HENDRY WINS!

NoDQ: TNA Knockouts World Championship: Masha Slamovich (c) vs Tasha Steelz w/Alisha Edwards

Santino comes out with his best segment of his TNA career. He bans Alisha from the building because she didn’t listen to the ref at the last PPV, he brings out more security incase The System gets involved, he calls Alisha “New England Clam Chowder Ass” and then just carries her out on his shoulders while pushing a promo code right as the match starts. It’s good comedy.

Tasha started fast but Masha fights back, hell Masha hits a Tornillo into Tasha and Security members. Then Masha tries to suplex Tasha onto the steps, but Tasha counters it and snaps Masha into the steps. Tasha had control for a second until Masha rams Tasha’s back into the apron to catch her breath. To be fair the action is basic and kind of boring, so I have no real urge to type up “strike, kick, strike, miss”. As I have said many times, Tasha is not good. She has occasional moments of being decent, but her average is like…a C minus student. She’ll get a B plus on a good day, but most of the time she’s skimming by barely above hot garbage.

After about three minutes of plodding and moves that are generally inconsequential, Masha hits a Superplex and they do the strike exchange on their knees in the middle of the ring. This match hasn’t been dynamic enough to constitute the attempted psychology of a tiring struggle. Masha connects with a Double Up Kick, Snapmare into Waterwheel Kick for two. They move to the outside, Tasha connects on a DDT to give her the advantage. Lots of basic offense until Tasha tries to drag her up the ramp and hits that Mickie James inspired Bulldog onto the ramp. Tasha tries to smash Masha’s face into the ramp a few times, but she no sells and fires, hits the Package Piledriver on the ramp, now called Requiem, to retain.

TNA Tag Team Titles Table Match: The Hardyz (c) vs The System

Matt hits Myers with the Delete Head Smashes early, Jeff has Eddie in the other corner, they hit some Poetry in Motion on Eddie, then the Leg Drop/Fist combo on Myers and two Plot Twists on Myers! Matt shoves Jeff, Jeff shoves Matt and Matt says “Okay, lets both get the tables”.

They set up the table, Twist of Fate on Myers, put Myers on the table for Jeff to Swanton but Eddie finally shows up and crotches Jeff. Eddie attacks Matt, Enzuigiri from Myers and now The System is in control. They’re trying to put Matt through the table, but Matt fights off the table and shoves Eddie into the turnbuckles Myers was on to crotch him. Matt goes for a Superplex through the table, but Eddie moves the table in time!Boston Knee Party takes out Jeff, Matt gets ping ponged between the two System members and they start looking to take out Matt. Tandem Crucifix Bomb, takes out Matt! They look to double team Jeff but he keeps fighting back to avoid the tables. The System decides to rearrange the tables together on a different corner and try to set something up to take out Jeff.

The System looks to send Jeff through the tables from the ramp, but Matt is finally back up and stops them from killing Jeff! Matt hits a Twist of Fate off the ramp and through a table! Both teams have put one member through tables! Eddie lights up Jeff’s chest with those NOAH chops and Jeff sells them like he’s being shot at close range. They’re brawling on the outside, Eddie spills a fans drink, the fan slaps Eddie so Eddie smacks him back and two referees and someone from production shows up while security escorts the guy out. That didn’t look like a plant, but Eddie played it up beautifully. Going back into the ring, Eddie tries to keep control but eats a Whisper in the Wind!

Myers hits a Low Blow on Matt, so Eddie and Myers fight up into the balcony with fans. The System procure a table, but Matt appears with a chair before The System can do anything. Hardyz find a second table, they set up a Swanton Spot for Jeff! Eddie is on the table, Jeff jumps off the balcony into Eddie! HARDYZ WIN!

TNA World Championship: Nic Nemeth (c) vs AJ Francis w/KC Navarro

Nemeth comes out quick but AJ pops up and starts running over Nemeth with Shoulder Tackles. As AJ has the advantage, Kaz saunters down to ring side. AJ goes for a Banzai Drop or Vader Bomb or something but Nemeth powders. Nic backs down KC, so AJ ends up hitting him from behind and slamming him into the apron. Nemeth stays on the receiving end until AJ goes back to the ropes and Nic catches him, Cheeky Nandos, Avalanche Powerbomb for a near fall! Nemeth hits the Shot to the Heart Elbows, and punctuates 10 with the one from off the top but AJ gets to his feet, catches Nic and then drops him with a Big Boot. AJ misses a charge to the corner, eats a Stinger Splash from Nic, and Nic comes off the ropes and tries to chop him down with Lariats, AJ doesn’t drop so he hits the Jumping DDT, finally hits the 10th Shot to the Heart and AJ powders.

Navarro gets involved, Stun Guns Nic and then TFL connects from AJ for two! Tennessee Whiskey hit next, and Nic is splayed out in the ring as AJ and KC dance around after the move. AJ goes to the ropes and finally hits the Vader Bomb he’s been trying to hit all match. Nic gets his foot on the rope but KC slaps it away, but the ref sees it and ejects KC Navarro. Nic counters the Backdrop Driver into DANGER ZONE! But only two! AJ retreats to the corner, Nic hits another Splash, tries the Rude Awakening but AJ holds on, AJ goes for…A MOONSAULT, but hits nothing! FAMEasser for only 2! Sweet Chin Music attempt, but it gets caught, Nic tries a Crossbody but he’s caught, Nic flips out of the catch, Superkick, tries another move but AJ catches him again into a Fireman’s Carry Neckbreaker for two! Down Payment connects! But Nic powders to the ramp! AJ gets Nic back on his shoulders and he throws him from the ramp to the center of the ring.

AJ goes for another Down Payment but Nic counters it into FAMEasser, Superkick and Danger Zone! Nic retains and didn’t need JBL…color me shocked.

Navarro comes back out, they beat on Nic, look to double team him but Hendry comes out for the save. Joe goes to pick up the belt at the same time Nic grabs for it, and even though Hendry made the save they have an intense stare off.

Overall Score: 6.5/10

This show was definitely better than the build would’ve lead you to believe. While nothing was amazing quality to blow the roof off, there was a lot of solid action. Kushida v Moose was fun, Hardyz vs System was fun, Ace and Trent was pretty good and the Jake Something handicap match was surprisingly fun. And yes, I buried the lead on purpose, Tessa Blanchard returning as a heel is perfect. She is a great worker, I love her work in TNA and on the Indies, I especially remember a few of her matches on Wrestle Circus.

I’m not gonna tell anyone how to feel about someone, but from my understanding she made good with La Rosa Negra, and her being an egotistical racist is honestly one of the least egregious things that wrestlers got blacklisted for over the last 4 or 5 years. So if you still haven’t forgiven her, that’s fine, you’re allowed to feel that way. But if she’s made good with the persona she wronged and seemingly has changed or is trying to change; I see no harm in giving her a second chance. Tessa solves a lot of the holes TNA are going to have in their roster when Josh Alexander, Jordynne Grace, Mike Bailey and others don’t re-sign Assuming she can keep her nose clean and is a better person, this could be good for all parties involved.

Solid show, solid end to 2024, and being a big fan of Tessa for her athleticism, ringwork and aesthetics, I’m looking forward to what she can do in 2025 for TNA.

About Chairshot Radio Network

MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)

WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)

THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)

FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)

SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)

TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends

Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5

Classic POD is WAR

Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!

All Shows On Demand

Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!

Coverage

Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 12.5.2024

Final Resolution is in 8 days, so what can TNA string together in that amount of time? Let’s find out!

Published

2 weeks ago

December 5, 2024

Andrew Balaz

Two more shows left until Final Resolution, and then that’s probably the end of “new content” from TNA until 2025. With how miserably bad Turning Point was, and a bunch of the lead up shows were awful as well…I guess it might not be a bad thought to give them some time to cook because this ain’t it. TNA really needs someone who can write logical stories, I don’t anticipate anything groundbreaking, but logic and keeping the perception of factions correct isn’t difficult.

Also I’m looking forward to a few weeks away from how much I’ve been disappointed in the recent weeks. The TNA name coming back was the point that sold all the hype this year, and they did literally everything wrong all year. They’re just riding on brand nostalgia, but when that runs out…I fear for how badly the product as been lately.

Ratings:

Number 1 Contender 5 Way: Ace Austin vs Trent Seven vs Kushida vs Leon Slater vs JDC: Kushida wins via Back to the Future – ***
PCO & Sami Callihan vs The Good Hands: PCO wins via Quebecer’s Crash – ** 1/4
TNA Tag Team Championships: The Hardyz (c) vs The System w/Alisha: Hardyz retain via DQ – **
Tasha Steelz vs Jordynne Grace: Tasha wins via Victory Roll w/feet on ropes – **
Jonathan Gresham, Eric Young, Mike Santana & Steve Maclin vs The Northern Armoury & Frankie Kazarian: Armoury wins via Shenanigans – **

Results:

Number 1 Contender 5 Way: Ace Austin vs Trent Seven vs Kushida vs Leon Slater vs JDC

Kushida, Ace and Trent are the early ones to stay in the ring, Trent takes advantage of things a little, Leon flies in for something opportunistic, but Trent catches him and looks for The Bitter End, but Slater counters that and now we get into Dive cut offs, brawls and then Ace hitting a Fosbury Flop for good measure. JDC and Kushida both look to slow down Ace, but Ace does his apron antics to avoid contact and land a PK. He looks for the Triangle Kick but Trent puts the brakes on that, and now Trent and JDC have a heels alliance against Ace. After a few quick strikes, Leon comes in and breaks up the double team, but then the doubles turn on Leon.

We get the typical shenanigans of quick spots and then JDC is the heel to try and turn on Trent, which causes a pause for explanation but then everyone comes in for a signature spam. Kushida misses his Back Handspring Elbow, and Ace catches him with an Art of Finesse. Ace goes to the top, Kushida cuts him off, Spanish Fly Avalanche Cross Arm Breaker! Ace looks like he might tap, but Leon flies out of nowhere with the Crossover Splash and then jumps over to post to wipe out Ace and Kushida. Leon throws Kushida in and heads up to the top to try and finish the match but Trent and JDC brawl into Leon. Ace runs up Trent and JDC, Superplex on Leon, Bop and Bang from Trent, Ace looks for The Fold, but Leon stops it, JDC forces Leon off the top rope, Kushida hits the Soccer Ball Kick counter to a Back Handspring and then hits BACK TO THE FUTURE! Kushida wins and will challenge Moose for the X Division title at Final Resolution.

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve seen God’s Last Gift, so that’s always nice when Kushida breaks it out.

.@MeanGiaMiller caught up with @RealTSteelz ahead her match tonight against @JordynneGrace on #TNAiMPACT!

Watch #TNAiMPACT now on TNA+: https://t.co/23FHrQ2oMH pic.twitter.com/1hl6nsTdC3

— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) December 6, 2024

PCO & Sami Callihan vs The Good Hands

Callihan and Hotch start, and Hotch eats a few Knife Edge Chops, into a big toss across and then PCO gets tagged in for a quick right hand. Hotch tries to send PCO into the ropes and avoid him to pick his spot, but PCO just runs him over and Hotch falls out of the ring. Skyler starts trying to protect Hotch on the outside, PCO lets the be dumb, Skyler officially tags in and eats a right hand from PCO, PCO tags back in Sami and a tandem Brain Chop for fun. Callihan hits the ropes to continue momentum but Hotch takes a cheap shot, Callihan gets distracted so finally the Good Hands take a little bit of control after a Slingshot Spear from Skyler and Rolling Neckbreaker from Hotch. Skyler leans on Sami, tries to keep him down but a big Lariat causes the simultaneous tag out and now Hotch it treated like PCO’s personal hackysack.

The Jabroni Hands try to double team PCO and fail, PCO tags in Sami, PCO Double DDTs the Hands, they powder and Sami gives PCO the Back Body Drop assist on his Senton to the outside, so he goes over the top rope and into the dorks. Sami brings Skyler in, makes sure he’s not fighting back and tags PCO back in, PCO heads to the top and Sami raises his hands, the ole Quebecer’s Crash! PCO and Sami win!

After the match we get a weird tron of the number 23 flashing a few times. Michael Jordan, Jim Carey, who is it?

TNA Tag Team Championships: The Hardyz (c) vs The System w/Alisha

As is the usual with System matches, they are completely useless in the beginning. Hardyz hit a few classic spots with the Tandem Polish Hammer on the extended arm and the corner buckle face smashes, but then Myers powders so the heels can be heeling, Matt gets tripped and then we go to picture in picture because of course we do. So here comes the slow heel offense for about 2 minutes until the commercials end just in time for the comeback. No one wants to hear about Snapmares, rest holds and futile attempts to fight out of the System corner because I need to know more about Super Beets.

We come back, Myers is focusing the left leg so Matt hobbles more than usual and he’s in a half hearted Stump Puller, but Myers is doing it mostly to send a message. Myers goes for the home run shot, loads up the Roster Cut…but Matt catches him with the Side Effect! Jeff and Eddie come in and Jeff has full control until Myers cuts off the momentum just in time to for both to eat a Whisper in the Wind! Myers hits an Edge-esque Spear but Jeff kicks out at two. They go for System Overload, but Jeff slips it, shoved Eddie into Myers, then Matt comes in and Plot Twist! Myers has to break the count, but the Hardyz are rolling, they go full Hardy and find a table! Both trade a few shots, the Hardyz look to put the System through the table but Lish takes Kendra to the Hardyz to force a disqualification!

Eddie hits a Boston Knee Party on Jeff into the steps, Matt tries to fight back, but his laid out on the table. Lish beats Jeff a few times, chokes Matt, and then Myers and Eddie go for a Tandem Crucifix Bomb on Jeff through Matt on the table, and the table breaks nice.

I’m guessing this gets dragged out to Final Resolution, as long as its a decent match…I’m fine with that. Spitfire has promo, and I repeat, I love Dani Luna…but Jody Threat is worthless and cringe.

Tasha Steelz vs Jordynne Grace

Jordynne comes out in a Kojima inspired outfit and if she loses here…then I guess she’s on the putting people over on her way out side of the game.

Rosemary is looming in the rafters as Tasha and Jordynne don’t really do much of anything early. Tasha tries a Sunset Flip but Jordynne won’t budge, Tasha tries something but eats a Back Fist into a Snap Gutwrench Reverse Side Suplex and then just shoves Tasha into the corner, tries to beat on her on the way up for a Superplex, but Tasha slips it, tucks Jordynne’s head against the top rope, Cheeky Nandos into a Springboard Stomp to give Tasha some offense and to give us an official commercial break.

Returning, commentary makes sure to let us know Tasha was in control the whole time but Jordynne of course starts working towards a comeback. Tasha tries an Avalanche Sunset Bomb, but fails and ends up hitting what looks more like an Avalanche Landslide. Steelz tries the Blackout, Enzuigiri, and tries again but Jordynne catches her and Release Overhead German Suplex puts the ball back in Jordynne’s court. After trading a few strikes, Jordynne connects with the Backfist, then Kudome Valentine for two! Jordynne rams Tasha’s head into the buckles, referee breaks it, Tasha tries the Sliced Bread but no, Jordynne tries the Vader Bomb, but Tasha kicks her feet out, Tasha tries the Hanging Backstabber but Jordynne holds on, hits a Vader Bomb, looks for another corner move but Tasha flashes up and connects on the Sliced Bread for both to sell. Jordynne gets the best of the subsequent attacks, Short Arm Lariats is giving the advantage but Jordynne looks increasingly more annoyed. Lish comes back out with Kendra to distract Jordynne, Tasha tries a Schoolboy but Jordynne kicks out. Looks for the Kinikku Buster, Lish distracts again, Victory Roll from Tasha with feet on ropes.

Tasha wins, it devolves into Lish and Tasha beating on Jordynne, so Masha comes out to make the save.

Joe Hendry comes out to join commentary, because of course he does. When they don’t want to put a damn title on him, they just shoehorn in other way to make sure he’s on the show. It’s a very tired trope.

Jonathan Gresham, Eric Young, Mike Santana & Steve Maclin vs The Northern Armoury & Frankie Kazarian

Things just start off as an all out brawl until 26 referees come out and try to settle the jimmies that got rustled. Bell finally rings and its Gresham against the bald jabroni. Couple quick chops and a snap Vertical Suplex from Gresham force bald jabroni to tag out to Josh. Josh’s comes out a little arrogant, but a Soccer Ball kick to the hand and Octopus attempt forces bald jabroni back in, Gresham levels him but it gives Josh a chance to fight back. Jabroni with hair tags in, immediately loses control and Gresham tags out to Maclin who hits a Backbreaker and clubbing blows in the corner across the shoulder blades. OH bald jabroni tries something but Maclin puts both losers in Tree of Woe, Caught in Crosshairs hits on bald, hair sits up, Maclin saves himself from posting himself, jabroni with hair tries to go after him and then Maclin beats the hell out of the jabroni. Josh distracts Maclin so jabroni can roll in and tag out to Kaz. Kaz hits the Springboard Leg Drop as Maclin slides back in, and now we go to picture in picture with the heels throwing Maclin into their corner and taking turns hitting offense.

Coming back, Eric Young already started the comeback, he heads to the top rope for the Macho Elbow but one of the jabronis hits the ropes and EY takes an ugly crash down. Josh tags in Kaz, Kaz starts working over EY, throws him into the corner so EY does the Flair Flop, blocks Kaz’s attack, tries to slide in but the heels grab EY and beat the hell out of him while the ref is distracted with the face team. A chant of “ref you suck” is actually quite loud. Kaz hits a Suplex and meticulously lays in offense on EY. Kaz shoots him in, telegraphs and almost eats a Piledriver, but Kaz counters it into Fade to Black, but EY gets out of that. They run the ropes and Lariat spot for both to drop. Simultaneous tag, Santana is in and one of the jabroni’s is legal I think but all the heels come in, faces fight him off, jabroni squad tries to double team Santana but he gets the best of things with a Double Rolling Buck Fifty for a near fall. Josh pulls out jabroni with hair to stop Santana’s momentum, Maclin flies into Josh, jabroni duo keeps trying to stay on Santana, but Santana gets the best of things, tags in Gresham and it’s buttery smooth how Gresham comes in and starts with sweeps, takedowns, interesting ground combat. Heels try to all in and keep away with Gresham, but Maclin breaks up the pinfall by just flying into a jabroni and having him fall into the pinfall.

Gresham locks in the Octopus, but the heels distract the referee because this ref is stupid, Kaz comes up from behind Gresham and clocks him with the Call Your Shot Trophy. So the heels win.

Overall Score: 4.5/10

The only match that really mattered was the opener because we know Kushida versus Moose is gonna be a good match, so it guarantees at least one thing to look forward to. The rest of the show either ended in overbooked gimmick stupidity, or involved Tasha Steelz which just encapsulates how bad the Knockouts Division is if after we run out of Masha vs Jordynne we get Tasha as the filler match to save Masha versus Rosemary for Genesis (is my guess).

But when all of these outcomes look like nothing more than filler until we get to Genesis, its hard to care because literally nothing matter until 2025. When you can’t add a measure of tension in your angles TO GET TO THE PLE, then there is no tension for the match at the PLE. So if TNA is saying none of this really matters, surely this can’t be a good episode.

Now if you’re a more casual fan of wrestling in general, or a fan of the Hardyz, maybe you care a little more about The System getting their comeuppances. But that’s build on 20 years of nostalgia, not anything TNA has really done. This is the equivalent of someone kicking Tom Hanks in the balls. We hate the person who did it, not because of why or any story…but because of who he did it to. Easy and lazy booking, so this gets an easy and lazy 4.5/10.