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Mitchell’s ROH Results & Report! (8/24/19)

Alex Shelley makes his return to the ring!

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ROH Wrestling Television, Episode 414

Alex Shelley decided NOT to retire, and wants a shot at THE ROH World Championship! Will he be able to defeat Matt Taven in his first match back?

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • From Mass Hysteria – Six Man Tag: The Kingdom VS Alex Shelley, Jay Lethal & Jonathan Gresham; Shelley, Lethal & Gresham win.
  • From Summer Supercard – WOH World Championship: Kelly Klein VS Tasha Steelz; Klein wins and retains the WOH World Championship.
  • From Summer Supercard – ROH World Television Championship: Shane Taylor VS Tracy Williams; Taylor wins and retains the ROH World Television Championship.
  • From Summer Supercard – ROH World Tag Team Championship Ladder War: The Briscoes VS The Guerrillas of Destiny; The Briscoes win and retain the ROH World Tag Team Championships.
  • From Summer Supercard – ROH World Championship: Matt Taven VS Alex Shelley; Taven wins and retains the ROH World Championship.

PLAY BY PLAY

Alex Shelley called his shot!

While Jay Lethal fought his way to climb back up, and while Matt Taven declared this was HIS era, the Motor City Machine Gun came out to throw out a challenge. Shelley did not use the word “retirement” last time he spoke. And after 17 years, his professional wrestling punch card was ready to be cashed in, for a world title shot! Shelley would wait after Manhattan Mayhem to take his shot, so that he can prove to Lethal, Taven, the world and himself that he is a talent on loan from God.

 

ROH throws it to Ian Riccaboni and Quinn McKay.

Another huge main event coming to us from Summer Supercard, after Shelley watched very closely at Manhattan Mayhem. Matt Taven successfully retained again despite Kenny King being added to the match, and a Six Man Tag at Mass Hysteria would be Shelley’s actual return to the ring. We now cut to that match’s highlights.

 

Six Man Tag: The Kingdom VS Alex Shelley, Jay Lethal & Jonathan Gresham!

Matt Taven would have his henchmen by his side as he would square off with his Summer Supercard opponent, as well as the Franchise Player and Octopus. Watch the whole match on Honor Club.

ROH cuts to Shelley on the top rope, aimed at Vinnie Marseglia and TK O’Ryan. Shelley leaps for a big crossbody! And then he spits water in Taven’s eyes! Taven falls, Shelley catches Vinnie and TK, and Lethal helps out with an enziguri to kickstart the DDT Complete Shot combo! Fans fire up with Shelly while The Kingdom regroups.

ROH cuts to later, as Shelley, Gresham and Lethal are on the outside. The Horror King fires up and builds speed to DIVE! Vinnie wipes them out, then Taven FLIES to take them out, too! Taven is in awe of his own abilities.

ROH cuts to Vinnie giving Lethal a tilt-o-whirl Russian Leg Sweep! Taven gives Lethal Just the Tip of the Knee! Vinnie covers but Shelley breaks it! Taven fires off on Shelley, but Shelley denies the Climax. Taven denies Sliced Bread, but Shelley fires a forearm. Taven spins to forearm back, but Shelley enziguris! Taven SUPERKICKS and both men fall out of the ring.

ROH cuts again, as TK runs at Shelly, only to get a SUPERKICK! LETHAL INJECTION! Lethal DIVES onto Taven and Shelley hits TK with a DDT, right into a crossface! TK endures the Border City Stretch, and taps out! Shelley and team win!

Winners: Shelley, Lethal & Gresham, Shelley by submission

Shelley smirks at Taven as the two stare down. Will we see a Summer Supercard usurping of the throne? Or will Taven still keep his reign going?

 

Backstage interview with Alex Shelley.

Quinn met Shelley in Lowell to talk about the intense ending to the Six Man Tag. An incredible win, but how is Shelley feeling going into the title match in Toronto for Summer Supercard? To be clear, this isn’t just the biggest match in his ROH career, this very well could be THE match of his entire career! Shelley can’t focus on the past but only the present and future. And right now, Shelley sees a “really really good” champion in Taven, but Taven does not embody the ROH Shelley helped make back over 15 years ago. And quite frankly, Shelley has nothing to lose. And that makes him dangerous. Will that mean Taven’s reign is in danger?

 

ROH reviews the Allure’s animosity towards Tasha Steelz.

In a Fatal 4 Way contender’s match, the up-and-comer outsmarted the veteran Angelina Love to get a title shot, #Ocurrr? And then she got the better of Love in Mass Hysteria, #Ocurrr? Steelz felt so good winning, but not for long as Velvet Sky hairspray’d her in the face, and Love gave her the Botox Injection boot! Kelly Klein respects Steelz doesn’t back down from a fight, and ran off the Allure for. But their Summer Supercard match was still to come. Would the Boricua Badass beat the Pretty Badass to be THE badass WOH World Champion?

 

ROH throws it back to Ian and Quinn.

Team IQ talk WOH as Steelz is just one of many big names in the division. Sumie Sakai is back, Maria Manic has been lurking, and even the Allure is running strong. But Steelz has a force of will and earned Kelly’s respect. The entire match is on Honor Club, but here are some highlights from that very Summer Supercard showdown!

 

WOH World Championship: Kelly Klein VS Tasha Steelz!

The Gatekeeper is ready to test the young and hungry La Reina de la Cultura to see if she is worthy of this title. Will Steelz past the test? Or will she come up short as the Summer comes to a close?

ROH cuts to Steelz building speed. Steelz DIVES and just clips Klein down! Cut again, and Klein reverses Steelz into a DDT! Cut again, and Klein throws Steelz with the Fall Away Slam! Another cut, and Steelz denies Klein a suplex. Klein clubs away and gets the lift but Steelz slips out, OCURRR~! The cutter hits but Klein ends up under the bottom rope! Steelz crawls and drags Klein back, but Klein holds on. Steelz keeps trying but the ref backs her off. One last cut, and Klein runs corner to corner, only to dodge Steelz’s boot. Klein fireman’s carries, K-POWER! Cover, Klein wins!

Winner: Kelly Klein, by pinfall; still WOH World Champion

A pretty badass match between two brands of badass, but it was the Pretty Badass herself who comes out on top. But Klein shows Steelz respect by still raising her hand. But no respect is shown by Angelina Love as she blindsides both from behind! The Allure’s contender doesn’t care about honor or respect, as she gives Steelz a Botox Injection! And one for Klein! Love lifts the world title up as she stands over Klein in the ring. But will she be standing at all after Klein gets her hands on her?

 

Backstage interview with Angelina Love.

Quinn gets a word with the smug contender about the statement made in Toronto. “It’s what I do.” But before Love can say more, Klein comes back for revenge! They brawl until security pulls them apart! Will the war between Klein and Allure only escalate as ROH moves into the Fall?

 

LifeBlood speaks.

“Yo, Marty. I should’ve seen it coming.” Mark Haskins and The Villain go way back from their days in the UK. Haskins has seen Scurll at his lowest of lows and highest of highs, so Haskins should’ve known better. Scurll and his Villain Enterprises did damage to LifeBlood by recruiting Flip Gordon and make him a Trojan horse. Haskins should’ve known better. He should’ve known Scurll would be at his most villainous, but that only pushes LifeBlood to be their most relentless.

Tracy Williams speaks up and says that Villain Enterprises ran away last time. They ran because of that beating in the Philly Street Fight. And if LifeBlood can win a Street Fight, they’ll damn well beat Villain Enterprises in a straight up match. So bring the fight and give LifeBlood a title shot. Bandido wants to know if Villain Enterprises is ready. LifeBlood will be the future of ROH! At Honor For All, we see which side finally wins faction warfare!

 

ROH throws it back to IQ.

Ian and Quinn are excited to see Honor For All settle things once and for all between LifeBlood and Villain Enterprises, but also the second Defy or Deny match for Matt Taven’s reign! Of course, that is if Taven made it through Shelley in Toronto. And before even all of that, Saturday Night at Center Stage, Marty Scurll and Bandido face off in a first-time-ever singles match. Which man gains major momentum for their side going into Honor For All?

Of course, there was still question if Tracy Williams would be able to compete at Summer Supercard for the ROH World Television Championship. Not because the Notorious Hitman, Shane Taylor, did anything. It was Scurll’s Mercenary, Flip Gordon, who attacked! The insidious Intern could not keep Hot Sauce from fighting, and ROH now shares highlights from that title match!

 

ROH World Television Championship: Shane Taylor VS Tracy Williams!

Things were heated already between Hitman and Hot Sauce when Williams earned this shot in a Proving Grounds match. Will he be the man to take down the baddest champ in ROH?

But of course, before Taylor ever appears, Flip Gordon runs out to SMACK Williams with a kendo stick! Toronto was fired up for the furious Flip as he keeps on Williams and the bad shoulder. Security rushes out to keep Flip away but Williams says it takes more than that to send him home. If Flip thought that his bad arm was going to be why Williams misses the match, Flip’s dumber than Williams thought. You could rip Williams’ arm off and he’d still fight. Taylor’s TV title will still be his, “so get your big ass out here!” Taylor would oblige, and despite doctors’ advice, Williams fights! Watch the full match on Honor Club, ROH TV gives us the highlights.

First, Taylor drops a leg on Williams’ bad arm on the apron! Cut to Williams going up top to drop a FROG SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Williams roars as he keeps moving. Cut to Taylor trying a frog splash, only to FLOP! Williams gets Taylor in a CROSSFACE! Taylor endures, reaches, but powers his way around to use his legs for a ropebreak! Williams let Taylor go but he was still fired up. Another cut, and Taylor drags Williams up out of a corner to scoop. Greetings from the 216! Cover, Taylor wins!

Winner: Shane Taylor, by pinfall; still ROH World Television Champion

“You see this?! I’m going to be the baddest ROH Television Champion of all time!” Taylor aims for the insane record of defenses, but he might just be the man to do it! Who will be the other 30+ contenders to step to Notorious Taylor?

Shane Taylor would speak backstage after the match.

“It’s only fitting, after I defend MY ROH World Television Championship for the third time, in DEVASTATING fashion,” the first words someone says AREN’T “Congratulations! What a title defense!” No, it’s “Why did you have to do that to poor Tracy Williams?” Get it straight: Taylor promised Williams on social media to do what he had to in order to keep the title. Williams is a “grown ass man” who made his choice to fight tonight, and then got whooped like everyone else. But ROH still wants to disrespect Taylor by not advertising him, yet they’ll let EVERY OTHER COMPANY walk all over them! Maybe Taylor has to do something like that! Maybe Taylor needs to start his OWN company! Is the Hitman going to strike out on his own?

 

ROH returns to Ian and Quinn.

The Summer Supercard world title match will be shown in its entirety tonight, but they were also hoping to show the incredible Ladder War for the ROH World Tag Team Championships between The Briscoes and the Guerrillas of Destiny. Unfortunately, they cannot. It was too violent between two of the most intense teams in the world today, so go to Honor Club to see it all. This was truly the culmination of a feud that started in Madison Square Garden when the G1 Supercard had four teams fight for both the ROH World and IWGP Heavyweight Tag titles. GoD would win to become the first dual tag champions between ROH and NJPW, and it would only escalate from there as the pair of brothers would go back and forth. The Briscoes took the titles back in Manhattan, and Summer Supercard would be the match to settle the score. Parental discretion is HEAVILY advised for the full version, but ROH TV will share what it can.

 

ROH World Tag Team Championship Ladder War: The Briscoes VS The Guerrillas of Destiny!

Only the eighth Ladder War in ROH history, and perhaps the most brutal one ever between Jay and Mark Briscoe and Tama Tonga and Tonga Loa. Both pairs of brothers were ready for war the moment they came out, because #DemBoyz had chairs already in hand! Loa and Tama would get their own chairs, and the war was on! The bell would ring as chairs swing and clash in and out of the ring! Older brothers Jay and Tama would battle at the same time as Mark and Loa!

Cut to when a table was waiting outside the ring! Mark drags Loa over, but Loa denies the suplex. Jay powers Tama to a corner and chokes him as Loa reverses the suplex to slam Mark on the ground! Jay throws haymakers and stomps but Tama whips Jay into a chair in the other corner! Jay flops out of the ring while Loa sends Mark into a ladder!

Cut again, and now Jay and Tama stand in the ring together. Jay wears a crimson mask of his own blood that ROH TV pixelates. He and Tama grab a chair each, and we come full circle as Tama is ready to “do this s*it!” They start swinging and CLASH! Jay holds on but Tama gets around for a BIG German Suplex! Only for Jay to come back with a LARIAT! Toronto was on fire as both men are down!

Cut to Mark with the ladder set up! The Sussex County Chicken climbs, but Tama uses a ladder as a ramp into the ring! He leaps for a SUPER GUN STUN that takes Mark off the ladder!! Toronto is thunderous as all four men are down!

Cut again, and Tama is up top on the ladder. Jay joins him, and the two fight over the belts while throwing hands! Jay headbutts Tama back then down to the ground! Jay reaches up, grabs those belts, and unhooks them! The Briscoes win!!

Winners: The Briscoes; still ROH World Tag Team Champions

The Ladder War was won by #DemBoyz! Is this the last the Briscoes will have to worry about the Guerrillas of Destiny fighting for ROH’s tag titles?

 

Summer Supercard will continue to spill onto ROH TV!

Before LifeBlood goes for ROH Six Man Tag gold, we will see how they did against Jay Lethal and Jonathan Gresham! Or rather, we will see if Lethal can help Gresham see the light before he is lost to the dark side.

 

The 2019 Top Prospect Tournament comes to ROH TV!

ROH will show us highlights of the heated opening match of Dante Caballero and Joe Keys. Two former tag team partners look to show how well they know each other, and to prove who was the stronger partner all along. Who moves on to the second round of this returning tradition?

 

ROH World Championship: Matt Taven VS Alex Shelley!

The Kingdom’s king took his throne at G1 Supercard, and would survive contender after contender. Not Flip Gordon, not PCO, not Mark Haskins, not even Jeff Cobb, Jay Lethal or Kenny King could take the title, but none of those men were as experienced as Alex Shelley. Will experience prove to be the edge against Grand Slam Taven?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and the entirety of this match will be played after the break!

ROH returns and the Code of Honor is upheld. The bell rings and fans cheer for Shelley. Taven is just annoyed, but he circles with Shelley. They tie up and Shelley gets the arm. Shelley wrenches but Taven wrenches back. Shelley drops down and spins around to drop toehold Taven to a facelock. Taven slips out to his own, but Shelley slips out to get a headlock. Taven headscissors and squeezes tight, but Shelley slips around to pop out. Shelley sits up, to blow SNOT on Taven! Taven SLAPS Shelley back! Shelley backs off and the two stand off. Fans duel and cheer while both men slowly circle again. Taven still wipes some of Shelley’s snot off before he and Shelley tie up again. Shelley headlocks then hammerlocks then whips Taven to a snapmare. Shelley steps over to get the headlock then spin Taven to an arm-drag. He keeps going, pulling Taven into a ghost pin! TWO, and Taven is growing frustrated.

Shelley dares Taven to keep going, and circles with him again. They tie up, Shelley wrenches to double arm-drag and then rolls him around to another ghost pin! TWO and Taven goes to ropes. Shelley lets Taven take his time to come back, showing off by doing jumping jacks. Taven and Shelley circle again and tie up. Shelley gets Taven down, turns him over, and floats to yet another ghost pin! TWO and Shelley does push-ups as Taven backs off to ropes. Taven talks back to fans before he and Shelley tie up again. Shelley calls for a test of strength, but Taven rakes the eyes! Taven steps over to headlock, but Shelley turns the Climax into a Fujiwara armbar! Taven gets out fast and headlocks again, but again Shelley makes it into an armbar! Shelley wants his Border City Stretch but Taven gets a ropebreak first! Shelley lets Taven go and Taven bails out. Taven walks around the ring but Shelley gives chase.

Taven cartwheels over Shelley as he slides in, but Shelley side-steps Taven. Taven springboards for an arm-drag into his own float over to a cover, TWO, into the ghost pin! TWO, and Shelley pokes Taven back! Shelley styles and profiles while we go to break.

ROH returns and Shelley flexes as he has Taven reeling. Shelley grabs Taven, uses the post to get up, but Taven denies Sliced Bread by slamming Shelley through the timekeeper’s table!! Toronto is thunderous for that one! Taven leaves Shelley behind for the ring count to climb. Shelley drags himself over to the ring, using a microphone as a cane! The ring count passes 10 of 20, then reaches 15. But Shelley stands at 16, only to flop over! The count keeps going, and Shelley is in at 19.9! Taven is furious and stomps Shelley down! Taven drags Shelley up to CHOP over and over! Shelley flops down and Taven hears the fans. Taven soaks up the heat before running in at Shelley. Shelley elbows back, then runs, but his crossbody is caught to a swinging backbreaker! Cover, TWO!! Shelley survives but scrambles to ropes. Taven is on him and choking him against the bottom rope. The ref counts and Taven lets up.

Shelley still crawls as fans rally up. Taven says that won’t help Shelley. Taven drags Shelley up, snap suplex! Float over cover, TWO! Taven keeps on Shelley with a Bow ‘n’ Arrow stretch! Shelley endures, fans rally up, but Taven makes the stretch even deeper! But Shelley pops out to a cover, TWO! Taven ducks a fist to whip Shelley to a corner. Shelley walks into a backbreaker, then Taven flips him around for underhooks. Butterfly backbreaker! Cover, TWO!! Shelley still lives and Taven is frustrated. Taven looms over Shelley and dares him to stand. Shelley moves but Taven stomps him down. Taven grabs the legs, and turns Shelley over for a Boston Crab! Fans duel as Shelley crawls and gets the ropebreak! But Taven drags him away! Shelley spins Taven off but Taven cartwheels through it.

Shelley counter CHOPS and CHOPS, then whips to give Taven an atomic drop! Taven ducks the clothesline to hit the Russian Leg Sweep to Moonlight Drive! Cover, TWO!! Shelley’s 17 years are proving to pay off! Taven keeps his cool as he drags Shelley to ropes. Taven wants to end this by any means necessary! But Shelley denies the suicidal suplex to enziguri back! Shelley slingshots to DDT Taven to the floor!! Toronto loves that one as Shelley leaves Taven down and out. The ring count climbs up and Shelley watches Taven closely. Taven crawls and pushes a chair over. Shelley goes after Taven, to get water to the face! Taven throws big forearms, but gets a Complete Shot to the railing! Shelley cravats Taven, standing Sliced Bread onto the railing!! Shelley almost breaks Taven and Toronto is thunderous!

Shelley climbs back up but gets a BIG enziguri! Taven manages to walk, and run back, to FLY! Taven bowls Shelley into chairs! Taven tosses Shelley back to ringside then back in the ring. Taven climbs up top, leaps, FROG SPLASH gets knees! Cover, TWO!! Shelley waistlocks, spins Taven around, SIDEWINDER! Cover, TWO!?! Shelley can’t believe it! But he won’t give up, either. Shelley tunes up the band like the Heartbreak Kid. Taven rises, Shelley runs out, SUPERKICK! But Taven flips Shelley off and says “F You!” Shelley just returns the favor as he tunes up again. Taven stands, SUPERKICK again! Then, SLICED BREAD!! Cover, TWO!?! BORDER CITY STRETCH! Taven’s toughness only gets him more damage, but he pops to a cover, TWO! JUST THE TIP!

The knee hits, but Taven isn’t done. But Shelley counters Climax again, to a quarter stack! TWO, CLIMAX OUTTTA NOWHERE! Cover, TWO to ghost pin! TWO, JUST THE TIP AGAIN! Headlock, CLIMAX! Cover, Taven wins!

Winner: Matt Taven, by pinfall; still ROH World Champion

Somehow, some way, The Kingdom’s king survives to keep his throne. But with another Defy or Deny on the way, will Taven be able to maintain this astounding streak? Or is something going to give sooner rather than later?

 


 

My Thoughts:

I’m starting to worry about ROH. This is the fourth episode we got recaps and highlights of PPV events available on Honor Club instead of material that’s actually new. There’s a rule of threes, and that includes wrestling. This week should’ve at least been that Top Prospect Tournament they reminded us about late in the show. Seeing first round highlights for that would’ve been nice. Instead, we’re getting stuff from Summer Supercard, which leads me to believe that ROH did NOT get the money out of that event they were hoping for. Seeing all the highlights through tonight’s episode, that stadium was so bare it makes WWE’s lowering numbers look good. I applaud the fans that did go for being 100% into everything, but I suppose that’s what happens when ROH punches above its weight class scheduling this for the same weekend as WWE’s SummerSlam Toronto weekend…

Also, it doesn’t help that Summercard apparently kept much of the status quo. What was shared of the WOH World, ROH World Television, and ROH World Tag Team championship matches shows each match was pretty good, but Summercard ends up being a filler PPV in a desperate attempt to stay afloat. I do appreciate everything Shane Taylor said in his post-match promo. He takes shots at WWE and AEW with what he was saying, and ROH really does need to think of him as the face of the company, or at least up there with how they’re booking Taven.

For that matter, they’re booking Taven almost too well. I applaud that Taven is being forced to do this on his own because of the Kingdom’s ringside ban. But while that match of Taven VS Shelley was great, Taven winning again was more or less disappointing. The air went out of the crowd when he won, but they would’ve EXPLODED if Shelley won. Taven’s second Defy or Deny, a major milestone for an ROH World Champion, is probably still going to go his way, as I still expect things to head for Taven VS Rush, as I said last time.

My Score: 8.1/10

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Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (4/25/25)

Time for some TLC!

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Tables, Ladders, and Chairs for the championships!

To finally settle things between The Street Profits, Motor City Machine Guns and DIY, they battle for the WWE Tag Team Championships in TLC!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Los Garza VS Fraxiom; Fraxiom wins.
  • Tiffany Stratton VS Jade Cargill; Jade wins, by disqualification.
  • WWE Women’s United States Championship: Chelsea Green w/ The Secret Her-vice VS Zelina Vega; Zelina wins and becomes the new WWE Women’s United States Champion.
  • WWE United States Championship #1 Contender’s Match: LA Knight VS Drew McIntyre; McIntyre wins, by disqualification, no word on contender status.
  • WWE Tag Team Championships TLC Triple Threat: The Street Profits VS Motor City Machine Guns VS DIY; The Profits win and retain the titles.

PLAY BY PLAY

The final hour of SmackDown will be commercial free!

That’s right, we won’t have to miss a thing when it comes to tonight’s main event, that Triple Threat Tables, Ladders & Chairs match!

 

JOHN CENA is here!

Fort Worth, Texas erupts with, “JOHN CENA SUCKS~! JOHN CENA SUCKS~!” as the NEW and historic SEVENTEEN-TIME WWE Champion makes his way out to the ring! But just like on Monday, Cena wants Mark Nash to join him in the ring. The fans boo while Mark reluctantly steps into the ring with Cena. The fans now chant, “LET’S GO, CENA!” “CENA SUCKS!” Cena shakes his head in disappointment, but he gives Mark the same script as on Monday. Mark again apologizes that his announcement was still disrespectful.

Mark again redoes it, because this is the GREATEST of All Time! The Never-Seen Seventeen, gracing Fort Worth with his presence for the final time… THE LAST REAL CHAMPION, JOHN CENA! Mark exits the ring, the fans still chant, but Cena stares down a father and child in the front row. The booing returns, but then RANDY ORTON makes his entrance! Cena is stopped in his tracks while the fans cheer The Viper. Orton steps into the ring, has his time to pose, and then grabs a mic. The fans cheer on Orton, but Cena holds up the title. The fans boo and Orton smirks. Orton tells Cena, “Do you know what I found out just a couple days ago?”

In a couple months, it’ll be 25 years to the day that Orton and Cena first shook hands. 25 years. They have known each other for 25 YEARS. And this is a compliment: up until a couple months ago, Cena had not changed. He was always about hustle, loyalty and respect. It wasn’t just a catchphrase for merchandise, it was a way of life. It was Cena’s mantra for every day of his life. So Orton realized he needs to think what’s going on here. There must be a void in Cena’s life that needs fulfillment.

So Orton wracked his brain, thought about all the fans over the years. The millions and millions of kids who have looked up to Cena since day one! All the kids that Cena has motivated, that he has been a role model for. Kids accomplished goals and set more goals. Track & field, basketball, the classroom, generations upon generations looked up to Cena. Surely, that meant something to Cena. Cena has granted more wishes than anyone in the history of the Make-A-Wish Foundation. You cannot tell Orton that each and every one of those sick children didn’t leave with a piece of Cena’s heart. They can’t just be a number to him.

So… Orton figured out how to fill the void. Take it from Orton, but Cena needs to have some damn kids of his own. Imagine a bunch of square-jawed, thick-armed little Cenas running around? The world would be a better place, and Cena would be back to who he is, and who Orton knows he is. Cena needs to grow up and be a father, it’ll make him a better human being. Cena thinks on that, then smirks. Cena says, “How dare you.” The fans boo, but Cena says how dare Orton prance out here with a smile on his face under the guise of making Cena feel better, than “parent shame” him in front of the whole world!

“Congratulations, Randy Orton. You have children and you love them. Good for you.” Does Orton want to know the real reason Cena doesn’t have kids? Because he’s spent the last 25 YEARS raising yours, fans! And by the sound of it from this group tonight, Cena has done an impeccable job! Here is the REAL truth! For the last 25 years, Cena has been a better parent to the fans’ children then they could ever be! That’s right, kids! Your dad’s a loser! Oh, wow, a six year old just gave him the middle finger. How classy. THAT is why Cena doesn’t have kids. He’s been policing brats like that for a quarter of a century!

The fans boo but Cena tells that one kid, “Never bring a knife to a gun fight. Bet your loser dad didn’t teach you that one! And don’t look at me like you’re gonna do something, either.” Cena asks Orton if we’re done here, and Orton says no, they’re not. Has the Hollywood rot set so deep inside Cena’s brain that he can’t hear Orton? It doesn’t have to be one or the other. The fans are why Cena is here before us in the ring now. They’re why Cena’s in Hollywood. WWE is why Cena is in Hollywood and he is crushing it. Cena cut his teeth in the WWE, developed his work ethic in WWE, and that’s why he’s crushing it.

Without the WWE, there is no Cena in Hollywood. And without the fans, there is no WWE. No matter how you add it up, no matter what math you apply to it, these fans are the biggest reason why Cena is in this ring with Orton today. Orton says he has made a lot of mistakes throughout his life and his career, and he’s learned from them on this long journey. But Orton can go into the locker room, head held high, and he can get disrespect from his peers. Orton is furniture here, he is here to stay. Cena is now just a guest. Cena says, “We all have our perspectives. I used to believe yours. That without them, there is no WWE.”

Cena used to think that they all won together. Cena was wrong. “We” didn’t win anything, CENA did! Cena has never needed a single one of these people! They will chant in the same breath, “Let’s Go, Cena!” “Cena Sucks!” The fans chant that very thing. Cena says he called out a rando and that guy turned pale white. Imagine having that chanted at you for 25 YEARS! The fans mean NOTHING to him! Orton is just like them! They’re all hypocrites! Because once you get tired of Cena, you can put your energy into any superstar you want. But if the roles are reversed, and Cena puts his energies into anything other than this, he’s an outcast? A guest?

That is why this is dysfunctional! That’s why this doesn’t work anymore! This is NOT a functional relationship, this is manipulation! The fans manipulate the truth to make themselves feel good about how they’ve done nothing with their lives! Cena points to a fan and says, “The only thing that man has done right there is dress up to look like Jack Black! He’s 100 years old and that’s all he has to say for his life!” Cena feels criticized and labeled as an outcast and guest for simply trying to do something different.

Orton says he was so… SO stupid for thinking that for one second, in this weird bizarro world where Orton’s now a good guy and Cena’s now a bad guy, that Cena would somehow listen. But the words coming out of Orton’s mouth are not penetrating that thick ass skull of Cena’s, are they? Cody Rhodes, before his badass entrance, it says wrestling has more than one royal family. And he’s not just talking about the Rhodes, right? He’s also talking about the Orton’s! Cena wants to ruin wrestling? Wrestling gave Orton everything! Ever since he came out of his mother’s womb, wrestling has provided for Orton!

Wrestling will provide for Orton, his family, his loved ones, until Orton is six feet in the ground. Ruin wrestling? No, not over Orton’s dead body. Cena shouts, “SHUT YOUR MOUTH! You just don’t understand, do you!? I’ll explain it to you. I’ve already won 17, okay? You’ve won 14. But after I take this home with me, you are forever frozen at 14! Yes, there will be another show. You will have other matches, they will create some tinfoil title and decide a champion. And if you are lucky to ever get your hands on it, your counter starts over at one, you babbling moron!”

The fans boo but Cena says what he’s trying to do is that when he leaves here, three generations of Orton’s family is ERASED! Cena paces around Orton but the fans chant for “R K O! R K O!” Orton looks at Cena and says Cena thinks he’s the Last Real Champion, but then prove it! Put the title on the line and fight Orton here and now! The fans like the sound of that! Orton says how dare Cena say what he said to Orton after everything Orton’s been through! Cena raises his title, and says, “No. No. And just like so many times over the past 25 years, I’m doing it to save your ass.

“There should be a match. Randy Orton VS John Cena, for the Undisputed Championship! But it shouldn’t happen here. I’ve already given you (Fort Worth) a hard enough time, it’s not your fault. It’s for Randy. It should happen at Backlash, Randy. Because Backlash is in St. Louis. I know that’s hard for you to hear, but for Randy, it’s great. Because Randy is from St. Louis. It’s so you can spend the whole day with your family, Randy. Make sure you show up well-rested. Randy Orton at his best. Because I need Randy Orton at his best. Because after Backlash, when you fail, you will have no excuses.

“Take a good look, Randy. This is what the Last Real Champion looks like.” The fans boo, but Cena says, “And this is as close to this championship as you’re ever going to get. Then Cena throws it to Orton, so he can DECK Orton! The fans boo as Cena stomps away on Orton! Cena snarls as he picks the belt back up, and then he takes aim! Orton slowly stands back up, Cena runs up, but Orton ducks! R K O!! The fans fire up as Orton gets Cena again! Orton throws his jacket to the fans, then he paces around Cena. The fans cheer Orton on as he picks up the title, and he stands on the corner! The fans cheer, could this be how it looks at the end of Backlash?

 

Los Garza VS Fraxiom!

While Angel y Berto are still hoping to be in line for a title shot after tonight’s massive TLC main event, a new team has already joined the roster! Nathan Frazer & Axiom may have only just lost the NXT Tag Team Championships, but will they be right back on track for more gold?

SmackDown returns as Fraxiom makes their entrance. The teams sort out and Axiom starts against Berto. They circle, tie up, and Berto pulls Axiom’s mask! The ref reprimands, the fans boo, but Berto stops at 4. Berto whips, Axiom RANAS in return! Axiom DROPKICKS Berto, tags Frazer, then they whip. Berto reverses but Axiom reverses back, and he has the IRON OCTOPUS! Frazer builds speed, and he DROPKICKS Berto! Berto bails out, Angel runs in, but he runs into the Fraxiom speed combo! Kick after kick, then an assisted DROPKICK! Angel regroups with Berto outside, but Frazer DIVES! Direct hit on Berto!

Axiom DIVES and direct hit on Angel! They keep going, Frazer FLIES to take out both Garzas! The fans fire up and Axiom goes up, up, and GOLDEN TRIANGLE MOONSAULTS! Los Garza is down again and the fans fire up again! Fraxiom puts Berto in, Frazer covers, ONE! Tag to Axiom and he brings Berto around for a headlock. Berto endures, pulls the mask, and Angel tags in. Berto powers out, Axiom dodges, but Angel opens the ropes! Axiom tumbles to apron then floor, and Los Garza soaks up the heat while SmackDown goes picture in picture.

Axiom checks his neck, and Angel TAKES OFF THE PANTS! Angel soaks up the heat, then goes out to CHOP Axiom! Axiom falls over, Angel talks trash, but Axiom CHOPS back! Angel SMACKS Axiom off the apron, pushes him in the ring, then lines up a shot. Angel KICKS Axiom in the side! Then Angel sucker punches Frazer! Axiom CHOPS Angel, but Angel headlocks to snapmare and KICK Axiom! Tag to Berto, Los Garza stomp away on Axiom, but they stop as the ref counts. Berto drags Axiom up to CLUB him down, then brings him up for a clinch. Axiom headlocks, Berto powers out, and Berto scoops to BACKBREAKER!

Axiom writhes, Berto soaks up the heat, and Berto covers, TWO! Berto argues the count but the ref says it was fair. Berto whips Axiom hard into the Garza corner, then tags Angel. Angel drags Axiom by a leg, stands on Axiom’s face, and then pulls on the ankle. Axiom kicks free but Angel rains down fists! Angel smothers Axiom, then drags him up. Angel reels Axiom in, lifts, but Axiom slips free to fire off CHOPS! Angel slips around the kick to Gory Especial! Tag to Berto, slingshot and the GORY CUTTER! Cover, TWO! Axiom survives but Berto rains down fists! Angel snapmares to have a GROUND COBRA TWIST!

Axiom endures, SmackDown returns to single picture, and the fans rally up. Axiom fights up, fires shots, but Berto ROCKS him! Berto whips Axiom, but Axiom GAMANGIRIS Angel! Axiom goes up and over, hot tag to Frazer! AX HANDLE for Berto, then Frazer BOOTS Angel! CHOP for Berto, then a whip, but Berto reverses. Frazer ducks ‘n’ dodges and just gets faster to CLOBBER Berto! Then SLINGBLADE! The fans fire up, Frazer runs again, QUEBRADA for the DDT! Then a RUNNING SHOOTING STAR! Cover, TWO! Berto stays in this and the fans stay fired up. Frazer thinks of his options, and he brings Berto up.

Berto kicks, Frazer ducks, but the ENZIGIRI finds him! Angel sneaks a tag, Frazer ENZIGIRIS Berto! QUEBRADA into a SUPERKICK! Angel covers, TWO!! Frazer survive but Angel rains down fists! Tag to Berto and Angel puts Frazer up top. Los Garza climb up to bring Frazer up, SUPER M T Y!! Then Berto MOONSAULTS!! Cover, AXIOM BARRELS IN AND BREAKS IT! “This is Awesome!” as the teams fall back, tag to Angel! Hot tag to Axiom, and he runs up on Angel! Angel CHOPS first! Axiom ROCKS Angel! Angel and Axiom go forearm to forearm, then just fast ‘n’ furious! Angel V-TRIGGERS! Axiom PELES!

Axiom runs up, but into a HEADBUTT! Axiom falls back, Angel goes to a corner, and Angel climbs. But Axiom GAMANGIRIS! Axiom climbs, CHOPS, then brings Angel up, only for Angel to scoop! But Frazer CLUBS Angel! Frazer tags in, Axiom hits a SUPER SPANISH FLY! Frazer adds the PHOENIX SPLASH!! Cover, Fraxiom wins!

Winners: Fraxiom, by pinfall

The team that will #NeverSlowDown just hit the ground running, and they already have a massive win! Will nothing stop these two from taking over the SmackDown Tag Division?

 

Tiffany Stratton is here!

Fort Worth is fired up again as it is still #TiffyTime! That’s because “Pro-Wrestling Barbie” is still the WWE Women’s Champion, and she goes right to the ring. Tiff grabs a mic, and she asks, “What time is it?” “TIFFY TIME~!” That’s right! And at WrestleMania, in front of over 60 THOUSAND people, it was Tiffy Time. Tiff went toe-to-toe with one of the greatest in Charlotte Flair. And no lies, Tiff did doubt herself and the pressure got to her. But in the end, she prevailed and walked out of WrestleMania #AndStill THE WWE Women’s Champion! The fans cheer, and Tiff continues: For the longest time, she was always being called “The Next Charlotte Flair.”

“Wrong~! There may be only one Charlotte Flair, but I guarantee you there is only one Tiffany Stratton!” The fans cheer more, but wait! JADE CARGILL makes her way out here! The fans fire up again as now The Storm has come to Fort Worth. And Jade tells Tiff, “Cut it. Now I came here to give credit where it’s due, and your match with Charlotte was very impressive. But that did nothing but create a bigger target on your back. And since my business is finished with Naomi, I have nothing but time. So I think it’s time for me to remind everybody why I came here to the WWE! I think it’s time for everyone to see why I came here to be a champion.

“And I think it’s time for you to understand, just because you beat Charlotte doesn’t make you the best. Especially when you haven’t faced me.” The fans are torn, but Tiff tells Jade, “Okay. Well, why don’t you put your money where your mouth is, and let’s get a ref out right here, right now!” Jade agrees, the fans agree, and here’s a ref! Will these two tear it down on the SmackDown After WrestleMania? We find out, after the break!

Tiffany Stratton VS Jade Cargill!

SmackDown returns and the bell rings. Tiff and Jade talk a bit of smack before they tie up. The fans cheer, and Jade powers Tiff back. Tiff slips around to waistlock, but Jade switches to SLAM Tiff! Jade waistlocks again but Tiff rolls free. Tiff headlocks, Jade powers up but Tiff fights the suplex! Jade powers up and out this time, then she runs Tiff over! Jade flexes, the fans are torn, but Jade storms up to suplex! Tiff slips free, goes to a corner, then dodges Jade to roll her up! TWO, and the two stand off. Tiff says it was that close, and the fans rally up. Tiff and Jade circle, but then Tiff offers a handshake. Jade says sure, and they shake hands.

But then Tiff reels Jade in for a headlock! Jade powers up and out, drops down to then hurdle over! And arm-drag! Tiff flounders, stands up, then dodges Jade. Tiff drops down, hurdles over, but Jade blocks the hip toss to body shot! Jade fireman’s carries, but Tiff swings free to arm-drag! Jade is up, and she catches Tiff to BACKBREAKER! Tiff goes to the ropes, the fans rally up, and Jade runs in, only for Tiff to drop toehold her into ropes! Tiff runs and HIP ATTACKS! Jade flounders, Tiff runs up to TIFFY- NO, Jade sunset flips Tiff first! ONE, both women stand, and Jade hits a SPINEBUSTER! The fans fire up while Jade covers, TWO!

Tiff stays in this, but Jade stays on her. Jade pushes Tiff, clinches, and BODY SLAMS again! Cover, TWO! Tiff is still tougher than that, so Jade lines up a shot. But Tiff dodges the boot and rolls Jade! TWO, and now Tiff SPINEBUSTERS in return! Cover, TWO! Jade is also tougher than that, and the fans rally up. Jade goes to a corner, Tiff handsprings in, BACK ELBOW! Tiff says it’s still her time, and then she goes back for Jade. Cover. TWO! Still a little too cocky but Tiff drags Jade back up. Tiff bumps Jade off buckles, stomps away, but stops as the ref counts. Tiff handsprings again for another BACK ELBOW! Another cover, TWO!

Tiff is growing annoyed, but she is still in control, and SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and Tiff trades shots with Jade! The fans cheer, then Tiff kicks low, KNEES hard, and fireman’s carries! ROLLING SENTON! Tiff goes up, up, and PRETTIEST MOONSAULT- Hold on, Tiff almost misses the ropes. Tiff jumps again, PRETTIEST- NO, Jade dodges! Jade comes back, Tiff kicks low, then Tiff runs. Cartwheel, but no Alabama Slam! Just a POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! Tiff survives that sudden turnaround and Jade is shocked! “This is Awesome!” as Jade looms over Tiff. Jade drags Tiff up, choke grips, and SLAM- NO, Tiff slips free and rolls Jade up! TWO, and Tiff goes to a corner.

Jade runs in, Tiff dodges, and Jade hits buckles! Tiff handsprings one more time, but Jade catches Tiff! But Tiff victory rolls through, runs, and TIFFY STOMPS! Cover, TWO!! Jade survives and now Tiff is shocked! Tiff hurries to a corner, climbs up, but Jade is right up after her! Jade brings Tiff up for a SUPERPLEX! Both women are down and the fans fire up again! Jade stirs, Tiff rolls away, and Tiff is safe on the apron. The fans rally, Jade crawls, but wait! NAOMI IS HERE! NAOMI ATTACKS JADE!!

Winner: Jade Cargill, by disqualification

The fans boo as Naomi is not letting go of her grudge! She HAMMERS away on Jade, laughs maniacally, and then SLAPS Jade! Naomi drags Jade up, and POSTS her! Naomi then drags Jade out to POST her again! Naomi CLUBS away on Jade in the corner, showing no mercy! Naomi drags Jade out of the corner one more time, to POST her a third time! Jade flops to the floor, Naomi says kiss this, and she laughs like the villain she’s become! Tiff is back and she’s mad at Naomi for ruining her match. But Naomi just takes her leave, ONLY FOR NIA JAX TO ATTACK!! The fans boo the Irresistible Force as she DRIBBLES Tiff off the mat!

Nia looms over Tiff now, and drags her to center, for the LEG DROP, brother! Nia says “One More Time! One More Time!” Then she drags Tiff to a drop zone, goes up, A-NIA-LATOR!! Nia smiles as she sits on Tiff, then gets up just to grab the title. Nia holds it up, will Tiffany finally feel the backlash of her cash-in?

 

Jacob Fatu is here!

Fort Worth fires back up as now the NEW WWE United States Champion heads to the ring, Solo Sikoa by his side. Jacob holds up the title, the fans fire up, and Jacob swings the belt around, almost hitting Solo. Solo nods, he understands how fired up the Samoan Werewolf is about this. Solo has the mic to say, “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, show some love and respect, for your NEW United States Champion, Jacob Fatu!” The fans cheer that! Solo says at WrestleMania, the world saw what Solo already knew: Jacob Fatu is the future. Fatu is the future of this company, but let’s remind you of something: Nobody in Solo’s family wanted Fatu here, except Solo.

The Bloodline thought Fatu was trouble. They thought he was too much of a risk. But y’know who changed that? Y’know who made it all happen? It was Solo! Solo is the reason Fatu is champion! Solo brought Fatu here, brought him to the Promised Land, got him off the streets and made him a champion! Fatu is champion because of Solo! This is exactly what happens when you love your family! Fatu would not be- Fatu snatches the mic from Solo! The fans fire up as Fatu stares Solo down. Fatu tells Solo to not get it twisted. Fatu told Solo that Fatu would win the US Championship. Fatu told Solo that the US title was coming home to the family!

And Fatu told Solo that Fatu would do it with him, or without him! And that is exactly what Fatu did. So, Texas, look at your NEW US Champion! The fans fire up for Fatu, and Fatu says see? He knows that this title makes him America’s Most Wanted! Hell, this title makes Fatu a menace to society! But at the end of the day, you better get in where you fit in! He all gas, no breaks with it! YADADADA MEAN!? But then LA KNIGHT is here! The fans fire up as The Mega Star has a mic, and from the stage, he says, “LEMME TALK TO YA!” The fans cheer, and Knight says at WrestleMania, he guaranteed that Fatu would eat a BFT, and BAH GAWD, he ate a BFT!

Knight knocked Fatu on his big fat head, Fatu reached out for the ropes, and good for him, because from there, Fatu was able to capitalize and win. Knight gives credit where credit is due, cuz it can happen to anybody on any night. Anybody can get it. But you gotta understand something, Knight goes to the back, everybody back there’s saying, “Man, you had one hell of a match at WrestleMania.” “YEAH!” Knight says he doesn’t care about having “one hell of a match,” Knight cares about winning a match! And about taking the title back. What he’s saying is, he wants his rematch, and he wants it tonight!

But wait! Drew McIntyre shows up! The Scottish Terminator steps out on stage, mic in hand, and Drew tells “Dallas” that it isn’t always easy being Drew McIntyre. Personally, it is, because he’s tall, jacked, handsome, and much like Texas, he has big guns. But professionally, Drew has been screwed time and time again. World title match after world title match. WrestleMania, Drew had to get through one last roadblock, and he and Damian Priest had one of the most violent matches in the history of WrestleMania! So Priest, you aren’t here tonight, we won’t see you for a while, so Drew will “thank” you. It was a pleasure to embarrass him in front of his entire family.

Drew tells the next stop was to be challenge John Cena for the WWE Championship, but Randy Orton jumped the line! The same Randy Orton that Drew beat three weeks ago. Is this World Wrestling Entertainment? Or Nepotism Wrestling Entertainment? Speaking of which, hi, Bloodline! Knight “yawns” and asks if Drew is done yet. Drew says he’ll get to Knight in a second. Okay, then continue on. Drew says he’s been watching Cena these past few weeks. Cena ain’t the same guy, he’s a punk now. Drew wants to fight the baddest dog in the yard. He wants the baddest champion in the yard. Jacob, Drew wants to fight you!

Knight says, “Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Can somebody wake me up when this mush mouth is done?” Drew says always with the jokes, huh? The only joke here was Knight’s last US title reign. Knight smirks and says, “Oh~! I would say your last title run was a joke, but I can’t remember it.” So if Drew has a problem with Orton, go talk to Orton. But right now, Drew is standing on time that belongs to Knight. Knight wants his US Championship, But if Drew wants to make claim, then why not come on in and show us? The fans cheer, Drew says okay, and he steps up! But Nick Aldis has everyone hold on a moment.

The fans boo but Aldis says we all know where this is going. Before Knight and Drew tear each other apart, here’s an alternative. They can all come backstage, put the tights and the boots on, lace ’em up, and here in Fort Worth, Texas, Aldis will give us Knight VS McIntyre 1v1, the winner is the #1 contender to the US Championship. The fans love that! Drew already heads back, and Knight warns Jacob that he’ll be coming back soon enough. But who will survive tonight to step to the Samoan Werewolf?

 

Backstage interview with Zelina Vega.

Byron Saxton catches La Muneca on her way to gorilla, and wants to review: Zelina beat Chelsea Green by count out two weeks ago, then beat her by pinfall just last week. If things go her way tonight, she will be the NEW Women’s US Champion. Where are her thoughts? Zelina says honestly, she’s known for having a big mouth, but tonight is one of those nights where she’s speechless. That’s how much this means to her. She’s wanted this for so long. Just like her mentor, Rey Mysterio, a former Men’s US Champion, and the late Eddie Guerrero, another former US Champion, it is time to bring some Latina Heat into the match.

And of course, just like how they do it here in Texas, you go big or you go home. Zelina ain’t going home until she has the title around her waist. Will Zelina finally add a bit more gold to her list of achievements? Or will there be no ending the Green Regime’s term?

WWE Women’s United States Championship: Chelsea Green w/ The Secret Her-vice VS Zelina Vega!

SmackDown returns as the challenger makes her entrance, followed by the champion’s. The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see who is THE champion-in-chief!

The bell rings and Chelsea runs up, but Zelina sends her into the corner! Zelina fires hands, whips corner to corner, but Chelsea reverses. Zelina goes up, Chelsea stays back and chicken wings. Chelsea turns Zelina but Zelina waistlocks back. Chelsea switches, they go to ropes, and Zelina bucks the O’Conner! Zelina wheelbarrows, FACEBSUTER, and cover, TWO! Zelina runs up to reel Chelsea in. Chelsea fights free, goes to ropes, but Zelina runs up to slip around to the outside! Chelsea fights free but Zelina trips her up! Zelina sees Piper & Alba creeping up, but then Chelsea BOOTS Zelina down!

Zelina argues with the ref, and that lets Alba RAM Zelina into the apron! Then Piper adds a SENTON on the floor! The fans boo but Chelsea salutes, and SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns again and Chelsea has Zelina up top. Cheslea SLAPS Zelina, climbs up, and then brings her up. Zelina fights the suplex and fires body shots! Chelsea ROCKS Zelina, then fireman’s carries! Zelina fights around, waistlocks, and pulls! Chelsea holds onto the ropes, but Zelina powers up to SUPER GERMAN SUPLEX! Both women are down, and the fans fire up! Zelina and Chelsea rise, the fans duel, and Zelina runs up. Zelina dodges Chelsea to LARIAT! And LARIAT again! Zelina blocks a boot, ELBOWS Chelsea, and Cheslea sits down! Zelina runs up to METEORA! Snapmare and Zelina goes up!

Zelina gives some Latina Heat, for another METEORA! Cover, TWO! Chelsea survives and Zelina is shocked! Alba argues from the apron, but Zelina DECKS her! Chelsea runs up to ENZIGIRI! Chicken wings, turnaround, but Zelina hits a BACKSTABBER! Chelsea ends up on ropes, the fans fire up as Zelina dials it up, but PIPER trips Zelina! The ref saw that! The fans boo Piper, but then the ref spots Alba creeping up on Zelina! The ref says no more shenanigans! He EJECTS the Secret Her-vice! The fans fire up as Piper & Alba throw a fit! Zelina waves bye, but Chelsea CLBOBERS Zelina! Chelsea whips, Zelina hops on, CODE RED!! Cover, ZELINA WINS!!!

Winner: Zelina Vega, by pinfall (NEW WWE Women’s United States Champion)

But now the Secret Her-vice rush back to the ring! Zelina dodges them, and she finally has her first singles title! The Green Administration is out, let’s pledge allegiance to the VEGA Administration!

 

Carmelo Hayes admires the Andre the Giant trophy.

Last week on WrestleMania SmackDown, it came down to H1M and Andrade, and in the end, Melo put his name down in history. The Miz is with H1M to say when it is all said and done, Melo will go down as the greatest Andre the Giant Battle Royal winner of all time! That is why Miz sacrificed himself for Melo! Because Miz has a vision for Carmelo Hayes. To commemorate this achievement, Miz got Melo something. Really? Really. Now c’mon, open it up. Melo pops the box open and inside is an Andre the Giant necklace! A big golden head on a big golden chain, and Melo tries it on. Perfect fit!

Miz says Melo earned it. Melo says yeah. This is bigger than just the win. This represents the chip that is on Melo’s shoulder. With this around Melo’s neck, he refuses to be overlooked. Yeah, cook! He refuses to be denied! Let’s go! And in the true spirit of Andre the Giant, with this around his neck, Melo is larger than life! He is the Tenth Wonder of the World! Because he is… HIM! Miz is inspired! He’s gonna go to the ring to get something off his chest. Miz lets Melo stay back here to enjoy his moment, cuz Miz is about to make his own. Miz heads to gorilla, but what exactly is The Hollywood A-Lister about to do?

 

SmackDown returns and Miz is in the ring.

Miz has a mic to say, “Since 2007, I’ve been an integral part of WrestleMania. But this year, at the highest grossing WrestleMania in history, I had no match, no mention, nowhere to be found. May I remind you, I main-evented WrestleMania, beating John Cena, retaining the WWE Championship, something that Cody Rhodes, your chosen hero, could not do last week. And yet he gets the cheers! The pyro, the spotlight, and I get it, I get it, he was champion, he deserves to be on WrestleMania. But when Rey Mysterio comes hobbling in to WrestleMania, does he come to a fellow legend to fill his boots?

“No, he goes to a guy who’s been here for two weeks. I’ve been here for 20 YEARS! What do I have to do? Wear a lucha mask and call myself ‘Rey?’ Then KO goes down! Orton needs an opponent! He needs an opponent! Do you guys want a guy who’s beaten Randy Orton for the WWE Championship? NO! You guys want a guy who’s an internet meme! A TikTok trend! A guy who does musical theater in a wrestling ring! I am sick of it! I am sick and tired of people showing up in the WWE, people I am a bigger star then! People that cannot lace my boots in this ring! I’m sick of them getting opportunity after opportunity!

“May I remind you, that I am the A-Lister! I am the Most Must-See WWE Superstar of all time! And may you never forget that I am the Miz! And I am…” The lights go out! Uh oh… Because ALEISTER BLACK is back in the WWE! The fans fire up as The Dark Father rises up from the shadows, and he goes right to the ring! The fans fire up more and even chant, “Welcome Back! Welcome Back!” as Aleister puts his vest aside. Miz is frustrated that his time in spotlight was taken away again, and then asks Aleister, “Who the hell do you think-” BLACK MASS!! Miz falls right over, and then Aleister sits cross-legged in the ring. Will SmackDown #FadeToBlack once again?

 

Backstage interview with Bianca Belair.

Byron is with The EST, and he notes her match at WrestleMania with Iyo Sky and Rhea Ripley was an instant classic. One of the best matches of the entire weekend, really. Unfortunately, Bianca didn’t win the title, and she didn’t leave Las Vegas unscathed. Can she tell us about her hand? Bianca says her fingers hurt, her feelings hurt, but no, she’s just kidding. She walked into WrestleMania with a broken finger, but it was worth it. They all fought ’til the end, and things didn’t go her way, but she is so proud of what the three of them did.

To her point, it was a great outing, but things didn’t go Bianca’s way. Iyo Sky is still the Women’s World Champion. Bianca says yes, Iyo found the perfect opportunity to capitalize, and Bianca can’t blame her because Bianca would’ve done the same thing. Now, Rhea… Well, Rhea found a way to slip her way into a match that Bianca earned, so that won’t be the last time Rhea and Bianca meet. But right now, Bianca is just focused on healing so she can get back to SmackDown, her home, and well, her home is divided. Bianca knows that when she returns, she’ll settle some unfinished business. Byron wishes The EST well, but when and where will Bianca make the biggEST return?

 

Naomi and Nia cross paths.

Nia tells Naomi that she doesn’t care about Jade. But when it comes to Tiffany and the title, just stay out of her way. Naomi says, “So long as you proceed… with… caution!” Naomi storms off, Nia isn’t quite intimidated, but will these two clash over their grudges? Or will things end up working together for what they both want?

 

WWE United States Championship #1 Contender’s Match: LA Knight VS Drew McIntyre!

We just saw these two argue over who gets to fight Jacob Fatu, so now they have to fight it out with each other. Will the Mega Star go right back for the belt he just lost? Or will the Scottish Terminator be one step away from completing his WWE Grand Slam?

SmackDown is picture in picture for the entrances, then returns to single picture once McIntyre has his pyro. The bell rings and the fans fire up. Knight and Drew circle, the fans rally up a bit more, and the two tie up. They’re in a deadlock, but Drew slips around to waistlock and SLAM! Knight flounders to a corner but Drew flexes. The fans cheer, Drew signals he’ll have the belt, but Knight brushes that off. The two reset and tie up again. The fans rally, Drew waistlocks, but Knight switches. Knight pushes Drew down and slaps him around! The fans cheer as Knight flexes! Drew brushes that off, and the two reset again.

Drew runs up, Knight dodges and Knight headlocks. Knight grinds but Drew power sup to back supelx! Knight lands out, pushes Drew, but Drew comes back to run Knight over! Drew slaps Knight around! Drew runs, Knight drops low, hurdle sover, and then BACK ELBOWS! The fans cheer as Knight gets around again, and he hits a BIG back suplex! Cover, TWO! Knight scuffs Drew, but Drew throat chops Knight! The fans are torn, Drew CHOPS Knight, and fans “WOO~!” Knight CHOPS, Drew CHOPS, repeat! Drew ROCKS Knight, then whips him, but Knight grabs the ropes. Knight then TOSSES Drew out! Drew lands on his feet!

Drew trips Knight and drags him out, but Knight ROCKS Drew! Knight brings Drew to the desk, the fans fire up, but Drew gets away. Knight pursues Drew into the ring, and he ROCKS Drew! And ROCKS him again! Knight has Drew up but Drew HOTSHOTS Knight! Drew then runs, and he BLASTS Knight off the apron! Knight hits barriers then the floor, and Drew soaks up cheers and jeers. Drew clutches his side, still feeling that Sin City Street Fight, so he lets the ring count handle this. The fans rally and even sing, “OH~ Drew McIntyre~!” Knight rolls in at 7 of 10, but Drew rains down fists! Drew then deadlifts Knight for a BRAINBUSTER! Cover, TWO!

Knight stays in this but Drew grits his teeth. Drew stands Knight up, but Knight counter punches! Knight fires hands, whips, but Drew reverses. Knight goes up, but Drew KICKS Knight outta the air! Cover, TWO! Knight survives, Drew snarls as he has to catch his breath, and he storms up on Knight again. The fans rally, Drew CHOPS, and Knight staggers away. Drew stalks Knight, Knight CHOPS, but Drew CHOPS! Drew KICKS Knight, DECKS him, then stomps away! The ref counts, Drew stops, and he has Knight on the apron. Drew drags Knight up, has him against the ropes, and ROCKS him!

Knight flops back into the ring, Drew eggs him on, and the fans duel. Drew stands Knight up, reels him in, and he suplexes, only for Knight to block! Drew CLUBS away on Knight, then suplexes, only for Knight to fight that! Drew KNEES low, CLUBS Knight down, then huffs ‘n’ puffs. Drew eggs Knight on again, and Knight rises up, only for Drew to reel him in. But Knight suplexes instead! The fans fire up while both men are down! Knight and Drew rise up slowly, and Knight fires haymakers! “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” Knight whips, Drew reverses, but Knight LEAPING LARIATS! Then RUSSIAN LEG SWEEPS!

Drew staggers, Knight whips, but Drew reverses to scoop. Knight slips free, shoves Drew into buckles, then JUMPING NECKBREAKERS! Cover, TWO! Drew survives and the fans rally! Knight drags Drew up, but Drew GLASGOW KISS HEADBUTTS! Then the underhooks, but Knight rolls through the Future Shock! Jackknife bridge, TWO! Knight goes to a corner, and he BOOTS Drew down! Knight goes up, spells it out, “L! A! KNIGHT! YEAH!” BOX JUMP ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO! Drew survives and the fans are torn again. Knight stalks Drew, kicks and cravat, but Drew rolls Knight away!

Drew runs up, Knight puts him on the apron! Then Knight ducks a punch to HOTSHOT Drew! Knight then runs to WRECK Drew with the dropkick! The fans fire up as Knight DRIBBLES Drew off the desk! “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” Knight winds up, and he SMACKS Drew off the desk again! The fans cheer as Knight puts Drew in the ring, but then SOLO SIKOA is here! The ref is busy with Drew, SAMOAN SPIKE for Knight!! Solo puts Knight in the ring, and Drew is confused. Drew says screw it, and he aims from the corner! “THREE! TWO! ONE!” But then DAMIAN PRIEST drags Drew out!!

Winner: Drew McIntyre, by disqualification

Priest fires off on Drew and the fans fire up! Priest THROWS Drew over barriers! Then he drags Drew back to ringside to ROCK Drew! Drew slumps against the desk, Priest choke grips! SOUTH OF HEAVEN through the desk!! The fans are thunderous as The Punisher just dealt out street justice to Drew McIntyre! But what does this mean for the #1 contender’s status? Knight tells Priest that Preist might’ve just cost him! But then JACOB FATU DIVES from the ring!! The fans are thunderous again, and Jacob POSTS Priest! Knight is up, but Jacob brings him around to RAM into steel steps!

Fatu puts Knight back in the ring, then he puts Priest in the ring, and he has a target in each corner! HIP ATTACK for Knight! SPLASH for Priest! Knight is in the drop zone, Fatu goes up, up, and BEST MOONSAULT EVER!! Then a HIP ATTACK for Priest!! Fort Worth is fired up, and Priest goes up, up, BEST MOONSAULT EVER for Priest!! The Samoan Werewolf just slaughtered two men at once, will no one even be able to face him for the title?

 

John Cena crosses paths with R-Truth!

They’re backstage, and Truth is glad Cena won the title. He’s been rooting for his hero since the beginning! If Cena needs Truth at any time for anything, just call. Cena doesn’t even respond, he just walks away. And then Jimmy Uso steps in. He shakes hands with Truth, and he asks when John Cena became so whack. Truth says there’s two sides to every story, Uce. That’s a REAL world champion. When Truth grows up, he’s gonna be just like Cena. But… You’re already grown up, Truth! Will Truth learn the truth about Cena on his own?

 

WWE Tag Team Championships TLC Triple Threat: The Street Profits VS Motor City Machine Guns VS DIY!

After months of back and forth between these three teams, and a few others here on SmackDown, it is time to finally put this one to rest. With tables, ladders, chairs, and no holding back, who will finally prove they are THE team on SmackDown?

The introductions are made, the belts are already high overhead, so it’s time to see who rises up and claims them as their own!

The bell rings and the fans rally up as all six men look up. But then DIY goes after MCMG! The Profits go after DIY, but DIY CLAW the eyes! Ciampa stomps Ford, Gargano stomps Dawkins, then they go out to fetch themselves a ladder! The fans want tables, but MCMG DROPKICK that ladder into DIY! The fans fire up, then the Profits and MCMG brawl! Shelley has Ford, Sabin HEADBUTTS Dawkins, and MCMG climb up to rain down fists! But DIY stop MCMG, they brawl some more, but Sabin & Shelley turn things around on Ciampa & Gargano. MCMG then crisscross to ELBOW the Profits, ROCK DIY, and repeat!

Ciampa swings, but into an atomic drop! Dropkick and Last Chancery, DREAM SEQUENCE! The fans fire up and MCMG set things up. Shelley holds the ropes open and Sabin DIVES into a chair!! Gargano then SMACKS Shelley in the leg! Gargano uses offense as defense, and then Ciampa JAMS Ford up with a chair! But Dawkins POUNCES Ciampa over the desk! Gargano runs up, Dawkins picks him up, and he POSTS Gargano! Dawkins fires up, the fans fire up with him, and Dawkins fetches a ladder. Dawkins puts the ladder in, he’s all alone, and he hurries to set the ladder up. Dawkins climbs, but Sabin is in!

Sabin hops on for a SLEEPER, but Dawkins still climbs! The fans fire up, Dawkins fires elbows, but Shelley trips Dawkins up! Dawkins has a leg stuck int he rungs, and Shelley CLUBS away on it! Then DRAPING DRAGON SCRWE in the ladder rungs! Dawkins falls in a heap, and now MCMG take ownership of the ladder. Gargano is back, only for MCMG to mug him! They SMACK Gargano off rungs! Ciampa is back, MCMG mugs him now, and they stomp him down in the corner. MCMG drag Ciampa up, and they SMACK Ciampa off rungs! MCMG keeps the ladder standing and the fans rally up.

Ford is back, but now MCMG mugs him! They whip, Ford ducks the ladder, but the ladder is sent into Ford! Dawkins is back to DECK Shelley and DECK Sabin! Dawkins folds up the ladder, puts it aside, and he CYCLONE SPLASHES Shelley! CYCLONE SPLASH for Sabin! Dawkins goes up, up, but MCMG trip him up! MCMG have Dawkins in the Tree of Woe, and they stand on the groin! The Curse of Greatness is feeling really bad right now, but MCMG grab themselves a chair. The fans cheer as Sabin sets the chair in place, for Shelley’s FULL METAL DROPKICK! MCMG then see Ford coming, and Shelley JAMS him up!

But Ford blocks the chair shot! Only for Sabin to FULL METAL MISSILE DROPKICK! The fans fire up again, and MCMG fetch the ladder. They set that in front of Dawkins’ face, but Gargano drags Shelley out of the ring! Gargano SMACKS Shelley off the apron! Ciampa does the same to Sabin, and then DIY YANKS the ladder into Dawkins’ face! DIY and MCMG brawl on the outside gain, but Ford FLIES over the corner! Direct hit on DIY and MCMG, and the fans are going nuts! All six men are down and writhing, but Ford manages to rise up. Ford hobbles around, finds himself a ladder, and he puts that in the ring.

Fort Worth still wants tables, but Ford sets his ladder up because he wants the prize! Ford climbs, but Ciampa is in! Ciampa grabs at a foot, Ford kicks free, so Ciampa climbs the other side! Ciampa keeps Ford from grabbing belts, but Ford does the same. Gargano is setting up another ladder right behind them! Gargano climbs while Ciampa and Ford brawl. The belts are so close, but neither Ford nor Gargano can get a good grip! Gargano figures screw it, FLYING FLATLINER off the ladder! Ciampa grabs the belts! But Dawkins drags Ciampa down! Dawkins DECKS Ciampa! Dawkins now sets the ladders side-by-side before he climbs.

DIY returns, and Ciampa grabs at Dawkins while Gargano climbs the second ladder. Gargano CLUBS Dawkins, goes up, but then Dawkins scoops Gargano! The fans fire up for the SUPER BIG ENDING!! Shoutout to Big E, but then Ciampa tosses one of the ladders. Ciampa focuses on one, but Sabin hurries to stop him! Sabin has an arm through the rungs! Dawkins is back, and he SHOVES the ladder over! Ciampa ends up crotched on the rope! Sabin is managing to cling to the ropes, but Shelley is there to fire hands on Dawkins! Shelley TOSSES Dawkins out, then he and Sabin reset the ladder. But Ciampa is back!

Ciampa SMACKS Shelley with a chair! And he SMACKS Sabin with a chair! Gargano returns with a chair of his own! Ciampa puts a chair around Shelley’s neck! Gargano aims, and he hits a HOMERUN!! Shelley sputters and falls away, Ciampa keeps Sabin down, and Gargano shoves the ladder over. But the ladder’s so tall, it bounces off the ropes to stand back up! Gargano tries again and the ladder finally stays on the ropes. Ciampa then suplexes Sabin, FULL METAL BRAINBUSTER!! Dawkins is back, but Gargano JAMS him up! And SMACKS him down! Ciampa SMACKS Dawkins again! Gargano JAMS Dawkins again and again!

The fans boo but DIY sit their chairs side-by-side. Gargano says hold on. And he flips them around! It’s a wedge! The fans freak out as DIY DOUBLE- NO, Dawkins fights the suplexes! Ford drags Ciampa out of the ring! Gargano DECKS Dawkins, DECKS Ford, but then Dawkins ROCKS Gargano! SILENCER on the chair wedge!! Gargano writhes and the fans go nuts again! The Profits then have the ladder to themselves. But then they say, “GET THE TABLES!!” The fans fire up for the Dudley shoutout, and the Profits find a table! They put that in the ring, Ford moves the ladder aside, and Forth Worth cheers for “TABLES! TABLES!”

Ciampa YANKS Dawkins down, but Ford SUPERKICKS Ciampa! Dawkins has Ciampa in the Electric Chair, and Ford takes aim! Ford builds speed, and FLIES! BLOCKBUSTER DOOMSDAY onto everyone!! All six men are down, and the fans lose their minds all over again! “This is Awesome!” as all six men slowly rise, and Dawkins ROCKS Sabin! Ford borrows a fan’s prosthetic leg! Ford CLUBS Gargano with it! He gives it back to the fan and the crowd is loving this! Ford then sets up a ladder bridge between ring and barrier. The front row sits back a bit, but Ciampa CLUBS Ford! Ciampa SMACKS Ford off the bridge!

Shelley SMACKS Gargano off a table, Ciampa storms up to CLUB Shelley, and then DIY mugs Shelley. Sabin and Dawkins brawl on the other end, and Sabin JAMS Dawkins with a chair. Sabin puts Dawkins on a table and rains down hands! Wait, Ciampa is bringing a table of his own around the way, and he SMACKS Ford off the edge of it! Gargano and Shelley brawl, but Ciampa finally has his table set up on the ramp side. Shelley SMACKS Gargano off steel steps, then SMACKS him off there again! Ford turns things around on Ciampa to put him on a table! Sabin goes up, FROG SPLASH on Dawkins through the table!!

Ford sees that, but then he looks at Ciampa on that table. Ford says bet, and he builds speed to FLY! SWANTON BOMB on Ciampa through the table!! The fans are thunderous as now Gargano and Shelley are the only ones not in some kind of wreckage! “This is Awesome!” as Ford crawls away from Ciampa. Sabin leaves Dawkins behind, but Gargano is in with Ford. Ford is up top but Gargano fires hands! Ford GAMANGIRIS in return! Then Ford goes back up, but Ciampa rises! Ciampa drags Ford down, but Ford SUPERKICKS! Ford runs up, but into a BOOT! And then another BOOT! Ciampa reels Ford in and looks to the bridge!

Ciampa fireman’s carries, AIR RAID CRASH down through the ladder bridge!! Fort Worth loses their minds all over again as Ciampa shouts for Gargano to climb! Gargano sets the ladder up, climbs, but Shelley anchors a leg! Gargano fights Shelley, but Sabin is climbing in from the other side. Gargano ROCKS Sabin, DECKS Shelley, and repeat! Sabin wobbles, Gargano lines up his shot. ONE FINAL- NO, Sabin stops the DDT! He SHOVES Gargano into the post, then MCMG give Gargano a DOUBLE BOOT SANDWICH at the corner! Sabin drags Gargano closer to the table, then stands on it…?! Shelley goes up, SKULL & BONES through the table!!!

The fans are going nuts all over again as MCMG risks it all just for this match! “This is Awesome!” as all six men are down somewhere around ringside. But Ciampa slowly rises! He slaps himself to fire back up, and he climbs the ladder! Ciampa is within reach of those belts, gets his hands on the bracket, and- WAIT! MCMG is folding up that ladder! Ciampa is now pulling a Jeff Hardy by dangling from the belts! MCMG grab chairs, Ciampa is a pinata for the beating! Ciampa’s legs are the only real targets, though, so that’s not enough. MCMG get a table under Ciampa, but they don’t see Dawkins climbing the ladder!

MCMG pull at Ciampa’s legs, but Dawkins takes aim! Well, if Ciampa is Jeff Hardy, then Dawkins is about to go Rated R! Dawkins FLYING SPEARS Ciampa off the belts and down through a table!!!! Everyone is losing their minds, including MCMG! MCMG clears the wreckage, and fans hope they “FIGHT FOREVER!” But someone has to win these belts, and now MCMG sets the ladder back underneath them. Shelley climbs, but Gargano JAMS Sabin up! And then he CHUCKS the chair at Shelley! MCMG is down, Gargano climbs up, and the fans boo. Gargano reaches the top, paws at the belts, but Sabin hurries up after him!

Gargano and Sabin brawl up top, they touch the belts, then throw more hands! The fans cheer Sabin and boo Gargano as the shots keep going. Sabin gets the edge, he SMACKS Gargano off rungs, and Gargano falls! But Ford SPRINGBOARDS to the ladder!! Ford DECKS Sabin, grabs the belts, but Gargano drags him back down! Gargano traps Ford’s legs in the rung! SUPERKICK! Ford is stuck and Gargano literally climbs over him! Gargano reaches up, but Sabin is back again! Sabin fires hands, Gargano fires back, and Ford gets free!? Ford climbs from the side of the ladder! Ford fires hands on each of them!

Ford SMACKS Gargano, SMACKS Sabin, and they both fall! Ford is back up top, and he has the belts off the hook! PROFITS WIN!!

Winners: The Street Profits (still WWE Tag Team Champions)

Fort Worth cheers as The Profits are still up! They wanted the smoke, they got the smoke, and they walked through the fire to still be forged in gold! Will anyone ever bring them down from the heights they’ve reached?


My Thoughts:

An awesome SmackDown After Mania, with a great pivot towards the Backlash build, since they’ve gotta get on that with it only two weeks away. Very good promo from Cena and Orton to open tonight, though framing this as “Cena should settle down and become a family man” is a bit odd. Cena did do a good job roasting that kid and his dad, though. It was obviously going to be Cena VS Orton in St. Louis, so they just made it official. Orton standing tall twice in one week already indicates that Orton is not winning. There is going to be much more drama in this, with Cena trying to run out the clock, so to speak. Also, good to finally see R-Truth and John Cena interact, and I hope we get more of this as time goes on.

Awesome match from Los Garza VS Fraxiom to make Fraxiom’s call up official. Great win for Fraxiom, but I’m very curious to see if the team sticks together much longer. They love playing up the dysfunction, and the first promo segment from them likely keeps that going, but they’re still a great team so they could go for the tag titles before a break-up happens. Aleister Black’s return being knocking out Miz was a decent move, especially after Miz got done ranting about how he feels overshadowed. Also, Miz giving Melo that goofy Andre the Giant necklace is a bit much, but whatever, Melo surely will have a good run from here on out.

Good promo from Tiffany and Jade to give us their “impromptu” match, but it makes so much sense for Naomi to go after Jade and Nia to go after Tiff. We’re definitely getting a rematch of Naomi VS Jade, and obviously Tiff VS Nia is on the table, but I wonder if we get a “Can they coexist?” type tag match as part of the build. We might even end up with something bigger given Jade and Naomi also deserve something title wise. Especially when sadly, Bianca Belair can’t do anything with Jade and Naomi given that bad hand. But she did hint that no matter what, she’s staying on SmackDown, which makes sense because duh, her husband Montez is here.

Very good match but great moment for Zelina to win the Women’s US Championship. Zelina herself has been deserving something like this, it’s partly why she is the inaugural Queen of the Ring, and now she has even more validation of her hard work and ability. Great stuff in the Men’s US Championship story, with Fatu putting Solo in his place but then Knight and McIntyre stepping up. Great contender’s match, even with Solo going after Knight and Priest going after Drew. I feel like we’re getting a Fatal 4 Way here, but maybe that’s too much for Fatu’s first defense. Either way, I’m liking that Drew could be getting himself that Grand Slam with this US Championship.

And what an amazing main event. In many ways, these tag titles should’ve been on the WrestleMania card somewhere, perhaps swapping places with the World Tag Team Championships. There’s probably something about how Mania having all those sponsors, The War Raiders felt more Clash of Clans coded than the three teams in this match. And maybe there’s something about the “star power factor,” aka Logan Paul gets a spot because he’s Logan Paul, barf.

But at the same time, I think the Mania snub motivated these six guys to really go above and beyond. Them recreating THE famous spot from Dudley Boyz VS Hardy Boyz VS Edge & Christian was awesome. Kudos to Dawkins being Edge in that moment. Ford did a lot of great stuff himself, and him finishing it off was also great, I really hope we get more great stuff from the Profits and the whole SmackDown Tag Division.

My Score:  8.9/10

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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 4.24.25

We get another chapter of Hardy Compound shenanigans! NEMETH BROTHERS! WE KNEW YOU’D COME!

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Oh boy, the best thing to come from the TNA product has been on WWE programs for the last month or so. Can we start getting some non-garbage episodes that make sense with wrestling that isn’t useless or atrocious? And Trey Miguel is the first person out…so my faith is dwindling.

I hate these early stages of the Delirious Dreamer combination. This crap makes me miss Tigre Uno, Dixie Carter, hell even the Claire Lynch angle was so disgustingly cringe it was car crash entertaining. You know, like Jersey Shore. So let’s see if something can stop sucking.

Ratings:

  • Trey Miguel & Ace Austin vs Moose & JDC w/Alisha: JDC wins after interference – ** 1/4
  • Jacy Jayne w/ Fatal Influence vs Rosemary: Jacy wins via Rolling Punch – **
  • Cinematic Hardy Compound: Kaiba Boys vs Hardy Boyz: 15/7, 10/10, 100/100, Hardy thing ever!
  • Tessa Blanchard vs Missa Kate: Tessa wins via Buzzsaw DDT – **
  • Joe Hendry & Elijah vs Ethan Page & Kaz: Elijah wins via Highwayman’s Farewell – ** 3/4

 

Results:

Trey Miguel & Ace Austin vs Moose & JDC w/Alisha

JDC and Trey start it’s just chain wrestling, nothing worth notating. The big early spot is slow and dumb, Trey goes for a Springboard Moonsault while in the Arm Wringer to turn it into a slow Arm Drag followed by a slow Dropkick. Throws JDC into the face corner, and Moose is late to the help spot so Trey has to beckon for him to come forward for a Tandem Drop Toe Hold causing Moose to Headbutt JDC in the groin. Double Dropkick sends Moose to the floor, but he doesn’t sell it long so he plucks Trey off the apron, smashes him and JDC tags out as we go to commercial. Jesus Christ this is cornball trope start and no one is looking good in the first 5 minutes. Am I possibly a little a jaded? Well of course, the shows have sucked for weeks and you start with bog standard “make fun of the heel” team start and its slow and unengaging. Maybe Dreamer should ask Trips if TNA talent can use the PC to learn psychology or…something interesting.

We come back and the heels are still magically in control with JDC locking in a Hammerlock Suplex into a Keylock. Tag to Moose and Trey is sooo banged up apparently an Arm Wringer throws him to the mat like a bitch. Starting off the show so damn slow is not really a good luck to keep people watching the show. It’s only like 8:20 and I want to go to sleep. Moose of course gets cocky taking his time to do a Jacknife Powerbomb so of course Trey counters, Ace gets the hot tag and guess what? Ace starts laying out both guys with quick strikes, Tijeras, Kicks, Click Click Boom, his corner dodge into the Mochizuki Triangle Kick but Moose kicks out. *sigh*

Ace decides to tag Trey back in, but their version of Poetry in Motion gets caught by Moose and Moose Powerbombs Trey into Ace. System tandem offense, Dropkick from JDC, Uranage from Moose, Down and Dirty from Dango but Ace breaks up the pin. Ace assists Trey with the Knee Slide Tornado DDT to take out Moose, they look for a finish but Lish distracts the ref, Dango kicks Trey in the dick, Brian Myers interferes and JDC wins the match.

Yawn…basic bullshit is not really driving attention.

Next is a video package for Masha and Tessa with Masha talking…who can’t cut a promo in English and Dreamer of course inserts himself for a fake “do it for your trainer” add. Oh Christ, this is like Rocky IV from Wish, but the Russian is the babyface. I hate every second of this and welcome the commercial break. 

While I think this promo goes on entirely too long, you can decide if it sucks or not:

Jacy Jayne w/ Fatal Influence vs Rosemary

Start isn’t really a thing since Rosemary feigns the Mist so Jacy runs away, when she does get back in Rosemary clocks her, beats on her in the corner, Upside Down and then gorgeous Fallon and the pack tactics give Jacy enough of a distraction to PK kick Rosemary and take control. Rosemary gets out of a Headlock with biting, then bits Jacy on the face and follows it up with a Shotgun Dropkick. Jacy tries to Reverse the Irish Whip but Rosemary kicks off the buckle, turns and connects with a Flying Forearm. Rosemary gets a little distracted, eats a V-Trigger but zombie rises from the dead and Face Buster into a Spicolli Driver attempt, but Jazmyn gets involved, Rosemary drops Jazmyn and when she turns around Jacy connects with her Rolling Punch for the finish.

Fatal Influence attack Rosemary and Mirror Match Xias come to make the save.

Cinematic Hardy Compound: Kaiba Boys vs Hardy Boyz

Willow the Wisp sighting early, he drops the umbrella and starts dancing to Kendrick’s They Not Like Us, then Jeff shows up and attacks Nic, they brawl in a pickup truck. Seto Nic Ziggler hits the Superkick, but Jeff turns it around, they get on top of the cab and Jeff wants to Powerbomb Nic through conveniently placed tables, but Back Body Drop sends Jeff crashing. Nic goes into the truck and finds a tag team title. Is that the idea? First person to find the titles like an RPG quest?

Matt Pearl Harbors Mokuba near a fountain as it cuts to Nic walking through the house at the arcade, and he finds their title case and he thinks it’s booby trapped so he does the heist thing of replacing the title with an exercise weight. Matt has a PREMONITION!!! THe Kaibas have the titles! And Ryan turns things around for a moment until he eats gate and gets Speared into the pool with Reby playing piano looking like a snack. Ryan is teleported into the house for Maxel the Great with Senor Benjamin as the ticket taker and most of the Hardy kids sitting in the theater. It’s an old 1920s Silent Film with Maxel beating up Ryan and the kids keep saying he sucks. He gets showered in roses, Benjamin is crying the kids rejoice and cut back to Ryan floating in the pool. Dr Wolfie is diagnosing Ryan on the couch and they have a fantastic conversation. Wolfie blames the Matt Hardy fans for Booing Wolfie. Wolfie asks if Ryan if he ever hugged his parents and Ryan starts crying and Wolfie goes “That’ll be 500 dollars for the emotional damage”.

Gothic Baby Shadow Realms Ryan into his Emo Phase with Simple Plan playing. Then he has a roast battle with Bardie. Ryan is getting pelted with eggs while Matt is drowning him in the pool. Nic saves his Little Brother from drowning in the pool (been there). Maxel attacks, Nic Pie Faces the kid, Ryan ambushes Matt with a title shot and then BROTHER NERO! We’re just missing Itchweed to complete the essences of Jeff.

Nemeths see Jeff stalking them and they bail. So we may get a return to the Broken Brothers.

That was glorious and the fact it’s used as a set up for a real match instead of a replacement for a real match makes it actually better.

Tessa Blanchard vs Missa Kate

Tessa doesn’t take her serious after a quick flurry so Kate lands a Tilt-a-Whirl Gourdbuster before Tessa turns things around and lays in offense. Dropkick, Springboard Elbows, Teardrop Suplex, and Tessa calms down a little after taking complete control again. Tessa keeps Kate in the corner and lays in Forearms, Kicks, goes for a Splash but Kate finally dodges and slams Tessa face first into a Buckle. Tessa hits the Cutter, goes to the top, MAGNUM, Buzzsaw DDT just because.

Masha attacks Tessa after the match and hits the Russian Death Device and puts her in a Fujiwara Armbar until Tessa gets away and bails to the floor while Masha holds the ring.

Joe Hendry & Elijah vs Ethan Page & Kaz

This whole match is stupid. Hendry had no tape at Mania, went against “doctor’s orders” to defend the title at Rebellion this Sunday anyway…so they put him in a worthless tag match when they didn’t want him active? Delirious and Dreamer need to be shot in the head. It won’t hit anything. 

Elijah and Kaz start this match, Kaz looks dumb and gets dogwalked and then Rope Walked because heels aren’t allowed to be competent against “fan favorites” until at least 3 minutes into a match. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Back from the commercial break, Hendry and Elijah Double Clothesline Kaz and he’ll prolly slip something in a minute or so. Elijah does 10 Count Punches dropping Kaz, into the ropes, Kaz hops over him but Elijah throws him towards Page. Weird…but okay. Ethan calls for Hendry, and they lock up causing Hendry to wince at the arm that isn’t Kayfabed well, but Hendry hits the ropes, Shoulder Tackle into Hip Toss with “bad” arm, now Stalling Suplex that is just dropped immediately because of “arm”. Tags out quickly to Elijah and Ethan gets Manhattan Dropped and Big Booted into Saturday. Kaz takes a cheap shot when Elijah hits the ropes, so Ethan pounces and the heels finally have some momentum. Double Team on Elijah into a Rude Awakening from Kaz for two.

Ethan tries to keep Elijah isolated, Elijah gets the boot up, but he cuts off Elijah from the tag, Ethan tags in Kaz and a Slingshot Leg Drop gets another two. Elijah fights out of the corner, knocks down Ethan, counter wrestling from Kaz and Elijah before a Jumping Knee Lift levels Kaz. Elijah looks for the tag but Ethan picks Hendry off the apron and throws him into the steps. Heels doing the dogpile thing. Ethan throws Elijah into a corner, Up and Over but Ethan catches him just to get kicked away. Joe drags himself to the corner, simultaneous tags, Lariats into Sack of Shit for both heels. Attitude Adjustment on Kaz for only two. Hendry is overselling the injury no one cares enough about to write logically. So good for him that he’s doing their job, it’s just creative that isn’t. Kaz catches Hendry in Fade to Black but Hendry gets out, Scoop Slam into the Springboard Leg Drop but Hendry kicks out. Kaz wants the Chicken Wing on the bad arm, but Ethan tags himself in causing infighting, Avalanche Tandem Superplex but Elijah shoves Ethan into the pinfall to break it. Elijah and Ethan throw hands, Crossroads from Elijah, Backstabber from Kaz, Rope Run Cutter from Hendry on Kaz, Spin and pose, Standing Ovation attempt but the arm gives, Elijah tags in, Ethan refuses to tag Kaz, Highwayman’s Farewell from Elijah.

 

Overall Score: 6.4/10

All of the points are for Fallon Henley existing, Lei Ying Lee and the Hardy Compound match. Without the Hardy match the show was like a 2. Bad logic, bad booking, heels are too samey with everyone being a dweeb that has to get beat on for 3-5 minutes before they can remember they can wrestle. Sean Waltman is also an interesting wrinkle in the System and Rascalz thing, but the first hour of this show was useless. If people continued to watch for the Hardy match, that was the only thing that may have entertained new eyes because of WrestleMania.

Rebellion is Sunday and next Thursday starts at 10 Eastern…ugh. If TNA doesn’t get off the west coast or work days, I won’t review any of this positively. First World problems, fully aware. But come on now, especially with the shit writing from the last month or so, this show isn’t worth staying up if they TNA personally paid people to review it. It would be totally different if the content was entertaining.

You know what, just give the Hardy’s the book. I’d rather insanity than forgetting to write in logic to a kayfabe injury and because things are pre-taped the WM appearance makes no sense and sudden over selling makes less sense. This isn’t booking into a corner this is booking into a Short Bus with a flat tire.

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