Coverage
Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (12/30/19)
The last Raw of 2019!
Is the year going to end with joy or sorrow?
2019 is coming to a close, and The Ravishing Russian wants us all to share in her special day. Will Lana and Bobby Lashley live ravishingly ever after?
OFFICIAL RESULTS
- Aleister Black VS Buddy Murphy; Aleister wins.
- Erick Rowan VS Kip Stevens; Rowan wins.
- Charlotte Flair VS Natalya; Flair wins.
- The Street Profits VS The OC w/ AJ Styles; The Street Profits win.
- 2v1 Handicap Match: Zack Ryder & Curt Hawkins VS Drew McIntyre; McIntyre wins.
- Andrade Almas w/ Zelina Vega VS ???; changed to…
- Andrade Almas w/ Zelina Vega VS Ricochet; Almas wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
Kevin Owens is in Hartford!
And Hartford is fired up to see the Prizefighter! “We’re going to kick off the new year early, and we’re going to kick it off with some fireworks, courtesy of Kevin Owens!” And why is that? Footage will show you why. Seth Rollins gave Kevin Owens a beat down for Christmas! The Architect and his new sidekicks beat Kevin down, then targeted Rey Mysterio’s United States Championship. Rollins was going to lose but the AOP went after the King of Lucha. And when Samoa Joe stood up to them, Rollins had Akam and Rezar go after him, too! The holidays were anything but happy for Kevin, Joe or Mysterio.
Kevin says the Architects of Pain have been running wild all over Raw, even putting him in the hospital. But guess what? Kevin will keep calling them out, keep getting beat down, but swears to take “one of you idiots down with me!” The problem is the consequences of the AOP’s actions hurt those Kevin respects. One name that comes to mind is Rey Mysterio. There aren’t a lot of people in the industry that Kevin respects, but after being hospitalized, it was sickening to see the AOP gang up on Mysterio and Rollins Curb Stomp him down. Those actions are why Mysterio lost to Andrade Almas at Madison Square Garden. Yes, last Thursday, Almas was able to defeat Mysterio and take the United States Championship!
Kevin says after watching the footage, he’s sick of studying film. And just as he wants, Rollins and the AOP appear! Rollins tells Kevin that “you still are failing to see the big picture!” This is not something Rollins chose, it is something forced upon him by Kevin and those like him “that think that they know best.” Rollins finds himself in this position as a “sacrifice.” Rollins sacrifices himself for the greater good. He is WWE’s wrestling savior! Kevin has left Rollins no choice but to impose his will. And if you resist, well, you saw what happened to Mysterio and Joe. The AOP will enforce Rollins’ will. But Kevin doesn’t care, he heads right for them! A new brawl begins on the ramp! Then to ringside! Rollins questions when Kevin is going to learn his lesson.
Things end up in the ring and Kevin is 2v1 in a corner as Akam and Rezar hammer and knee away. Rollins tells them to “teach him a lesson.” The mugging continues, but here comes Samoa Joe! And he BOOTS Akam then throws Rezar into barriers! Joe glares at Rollins and Rollins is ready to fight! And fight they do! Joe jabs and jabs and headbutts! COQUINA CLUTCH! But Rollins is saved by the AOP! Akam and Rezar hammer Joe down but Kevin has a chair! Kevin SMACKS Akam, then Rezar! Rollins is on Kevin and things are 3v2! But here comes security to break things up! Rollins and the AOP are pulled away from Joe and Kevin, but then Kevin and Joe break free! They go after Rollins and the AOP! Rollins retreats as fans chant to “Let Them Fight!” The AOP follow, but Kevin climbs up top! Kevin CANNONBALLS onto them all!!
Kevin gets up and Joe joins him in hammering down AOP! Security keeps trying to restore order, but Raw goes to break!
Raw returns as Joe and Kevin talk backstage.
They’re ready to fight anywhere, any time. Charly Caruso comes in to interview them before they’re ejected. Why is Joe getting involved in this situation? Well much like Rollins, Joe didn’t have a chose. Rollins chose for Joe to be involved. Rollins chose not to be safe again. Rollins made a choice that Kevin and Joe are not standing alone! Kevin and Joe have known each other for a long time. Kevin’s known a lot of badasses, but none as bad as Joe. And after everything they’ve both done in this company, Kevin could not have imagined anyone being by his side. But he’s glad it’s Joe. Security is coming, they’re being asked to leave, that seems to happen a lot. But this week, oh hey guys. Well Joe and Kevin did what they wanted to accomplish. Now they have a whole week to plan for next time. Joe makes it simple: anyone lays a finger on him, they lose those fingers. Happy New Year.
Aleister Black VS Buddy Murphy!
TLC revisited as the Embodiment of the End and the Aussie Juggernaut decide to have another fight! Who wins this rematch to cap off their 2019?
The bell rings and Murphy circles with Aleister. Aleister gives testing kicks but Murphy stays up. Aleister gets a leg and puts Murphy in a corner. The ref counts and Aleister lets up, but Murphy shoves. Murphy headlocks and holds on as Aleister tries to power out. Aleister gets free the second time but Murphy runs him over. Things speed up, Aleister hurdles Murphy but Murphy huricanranas! Aleister bails out, Murphy builds speed, but he fakes Aleister out and sits down, crossed-legs! “Am I in your head yet?” Aleister kicks but Murphy ducks under to roll up, TWO! Murphy gets thrown out, now Aleister sits down! “Am I in yours?” Murphy kicks but Aleister ducks, kips up, waistlocks, and ducks the elbow to give an elbow! Cover, ONE!
Aleister drags Murphy up, facelocks and rams knees to snap suplex. Cover, ONE! Aleister keeps on Murphy with a facelock and then shifts to go after an arm. Fans rally up and Murphy fights his way up, but Aleister keeps on tight. Murphy gets free but gets a ROUNDHOUSE! Aleister brings Murphy to a corner and throws body shots. The ref backs Aleister up, and Murphy hits back! Aleister knees then snapmares, runs and basement dropkicks! Cover, ONE! Aleister keeps on Murphy with an armlock. Murphy endures, even as Aleister stands over him in full mount. Murphy fights his way back up, pulls hair, but Aleister puts him in the corner for shoulders and kicks! Murphy turns things around but is put on the apron. Murphy jumps the sweep to buckle bump Aleister! Murphy climbs up but gets a KICK!
Fans are fired up as Murphy is out on the top rope! Aleister climbs to join Murphy, prepares a superplex but Murphy fights back. Murphy adjusts, sunset flips but no bomb. So Murphy tucks Aleister in, but gets a boot! Murphy trips Aleister up! Aleister hits post and tumbles to the floor! Both men sputter as Raw goes to break.
Raw returns as the two men brawl on the apron. Aleister BOOTS Murphy into the post! Aleister then climbs up, to MOONSAULT! Aleister hits Murphy down and gets him in the ring fast. Aleister kicks away then goes after the knee. He sweeps the legs then thrusts in the knee! Fans fire up as Aleister runs and springboards, QUEBRADA! Cover, TWO! Aleister looms over Murphy as fans rally up. Aleister goes after a leg but Murphy kicks him away. Aleister ends up outside the ring again, and Murphy grits his teeth as he hobbles over. Murphy drags Aleister up but gets another ROUNDHOUSE! Aleister climbs back to the apron and hooks Murphy on the ropes to ROUNDHOUSE again! Murphy flops down and Aleister heads to the top!
Aleister leaps over Murphy and comes back, but into a BUCKLE SHOT! Dropkick and rolls up, with feet on the rope! The ref sees that and calls off the count! Murphy was too blatant in his cheating, but he sends Aleister out again. Murphy wrecks Aleister with a dropkick, then builds speed to FLY! A glancing tope conjilo but he hobbles back to put Aleister in. Murphy climbs up top and leaps, SUPER METEORA! Cover, TWO!! Aleister survives but Hartford is loving it! “This is Awesome!” as Murphy forces himself to stand. Murphy hobbles back to Aleister but Aleister goes for the leg. Murphy hammers and stomps Aleister away, then heads up top. Aleister anchors a leg, Murphy hammers him again. Aleister goes up but gets a Super Gourd Buster! Then sunset flip, to POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO!!
Both men are down and Murphy is beside himself. He shakes his head, refusing to give up. Fans build to a rally and Murphy gets to his feet. Murphy uses his foot to lift Aleister, but Aleister hits a knee jammer! SUPERKICK from Murphy anyhow! Then AUS- No, Aleister blocks the knee and sweeps the leg! Strike fest but Murphy ducks to give his own strike fest! Aleister dodges, QUESTION MARK KICK! Aleister boots to KNEE TRIGGER from Murphy! Murphy goes but Aleister suplexes to a BRAIN BUSTER! Cover, TWO!? Fans are thunderous as Murphy and Aleister stir. Aleister sits up first and gets to his feet. Murphy flounders but Aleister lifts him with his foot.BLACK- NO! KNEE TRIGGER! Pump handle, but victory roll! TWO, BLACK MASS!! But Aleister catches Murphy with his foot. And brings him back up! BLACK MASS AGAIN!! Cover, Aleister wins!!
Winner: Aleister Black, by pinfall
Aleister made sure to leave no doubt! Murphy once again #FadesToBlack, but will Aleister use this win to head for gold?
The Authors of Pain are arguing.
Rollins tells Akam and Rezar to calm down. They need to explain things. Akam and Rezar are watching the halls. No one is kicking them out tonight. Rollins says they’re not being kicked out, they were politely asked to leave. Raw wants to end the year without their savior, Seth Freakin’ Rollins. Let them try! The show will be shut down by the end of the next match. SEcurity does come along, “right on cue” as Rollins sees it. They will not be needed, they are leaving voluntarily. Akam and Rezar glare, and they’re left alone as they follow Rollins out.
Lana prepares for her big day.
And Erick Rowan congratulates her on the wedding. But Lana has misplaced an invite for him. Or does she not like him? Which is it? Lana is very wary of Rowan and his critter. Rowan says they don’t really care either way. Then he roars before leaving. Will there be any other guests unhappy with tonight’s ceremony?
Erick Rowan VS Kip Stevens!
Big Red might be green with envy over Bobby Lashley and Lana having their wedding, but will he be making yet another opponent black and blue tonight?
Kip is frightened as the bell rings, and he immediately gets out of the ring. But Kip sees he’s cornered with Rowan ready to go to either side of the ring. So Kip goes UNDER the ring! Rowan watches the sides, he’s seen this trick before. Rowan sees Kip see the cage, and Kip avoids that, only to get a BOOT! And then throw into barriers! Rowan throws Kip face first into the apron! Rowan refreshes the count and puts Kip in like a sack of potatoes. Fans boo Rowan as he paces around the ring. Rowan makes sure his critter is safe in its cage. Rowan then gets in to corner splash and scoop slam Kip hard! Running SPLASH! Cover, but Rowan lets up at Two! To clamp on the IRON CLAW SLAM! Cover, now Rowan wins.
Winner: Erick Rowan, by pinfall
Rowan fetches his pet and heads to the back. Will Rowan run roughshod over hapless mortal men until his own appetite for destruction is satiated?
Lana continues wedding preparations.
Rowan was terrifying, but clearly obsessed with her. Just like everyone is, because duh, she’s Lana. Will the Ravishing Russian have all eyes on her at the end of the night?
Charlotte Flair is here!
Hartford lets out a “WOO~!” for the Queen! Charlotte struts to the ring and picks up a mic to return the “WOO~!” Charlotte also says, “Guess what? I am here to announce my entry into the Women’s Royal Rumble match.” A natural move, and an exciting one! The Queen in the Royal Rumble. But she knew she would be, the fans figured she would be, and the world knows she will be. But why come out and state the obvious? Who would want that? She could go on and on about being the 10-time Women’s Champion, that she was part of the WrestleMania 35 main event, and that she is “arguably the greatest of all time!” Or she could talk about the first woman to make her entry this year. That means she is the first woman of the new decade, the 2020’s, to do that! Well, first superstar, really.
But Charlotte is tired about talking about how great she is. Surely the fans are, right? So instead, Charlotte will SHOW us how great she is! She has her favorite robe, her favorite boots, so who wants to face her? Who wants to BOW DOWN?! The woman to answer this open challenge is Natalya! The Queen of Harts takes on the Queen of Flair after the break!
Charlotte Flair VS Natalya!
Raw returns as the bell rings. Charlotte and Natty circle and tie up. Natty headlocks and hits the takeover but Charlotte headscissors. natty pops out and both women kip up. Fans cheer as the Queens circle again. They tie up, Natty wristlocks, but Charlotte cartwheels and reverses, to get the headlock takeover. Natty gets her own headscissors but Charlotte pops out! Charlotte struts but Natty goes at her again. Waistlock but Charlotte drops down. Natty floats to the headlock but Charlotte slips out to get her own. Natty pries free to a wristlock and wrenches. Natty whips, Charlotte goes up but is put out on the apron. Charlotte shoulders in then slingshots to roll up, TWO!
Natty SLAPS Charlotte! Then snapmares and runs over Charlotte, but Charlotte kips up to LARIAT! Charlotte catches her breath and drags Natty up, but Natty blocks to snap suplex! And DISCUS! Cover, ONE, but Natty stays close on Charlotte. Natty throws Charlotte down by her hair and hooks the legs. Charlotte resists but Natty slaps her around. Natty gets the arms and pulls, for the SURFBOARD! Natty holds Charlotte up in the Romero Special, but Charlotte gets free. Charlotte rolls off to BOOT Natty down! Cover, TWO! Charlotte drags Natty up and bumps her off buckles, then off more buckles. Charlotte hooks a leg on the ropes and pulls! The ref counts and Charlotte KICKS the knee! Then drops a knee, but misses! Natty bumps her off buckles again! And then into the post! Natty drags Charlotte out to snap suplex on the ramp! Charlotte writhes but Natty shows no mercy!
Natty brings Charlotte up and into the ring, then stomps away on Charlotte. Cover, ONE, but Natty brings Charlotte around. Natty gets mad at the ref and snap suplexes Charlotte again. Natty kicks Charlotte while she’s down! “Did that feel good, Charlotte?” Charlotte throws forearms but Natty gives them back. They brawl, Natty stomps Charlotte in the corner and fires off haymakers! The ref backs her off but she comes back. Charlotte goes up, Natty hits post! Charlotte grabs the legs for a draping Boston Crab! The ref counts but Charlotte lets go at 4. Natty flops out of the ring, and Charlotte takes a moment to catch her breath and soak up the cheers and jeers. The ring count climbs but Charlotte goes out. Wait, is that R-Truth?! The 24/7 Championship chase heads around the ring!
Truth runs from Shelton Benjamin, No Way Jose, Cedric Alexander, Mojo Rawley and Eric Young, going full laps! Eric tries to use the ring as a shortcut, but gets a BOOT from Charlotte! Truth keeps running around the ring and the others keep pursuing, as Raw goes to break!
Raw returns, the 24/7 Championship chase is gone, and Charlotte puts Natty up top. Natty fights back but Charlotte SLAPS her. Charlotte climbs up to join Natty but Natty resists. Natty shoves Charlotte down, then adjusts, to CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO! Charlotte drags Natty up and throws haymakers. Charlotte whips, Natty reverses but Charlotte kicks back! The boot is blocked and Natty GERMAN SUPLEXES Charlotte away! Natty drags Charlotte up for a waistlock but Charlotte elbows out hard. Charlotte scoops for an EXPLODER! Natty ends up in a corner, Charlotte glares as she runs in, but the boot is ducked! Natty picks Charlotte up, for a POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO!! Both women are down but fans are fired up. Natty grits her teeth as she brings Charlotte around. Charlotte boots out of the Sharpshooter and rolls Natty, TWO!
The brawl is on again as Natty hammers away on Charlotte. The ref has to pull her away, Charlotte BOOTS the discus down! Then SPEARS Natty down! Cover, TWO!! Fans are fired up as Charlotte is shocked. Charlotte drags Natty to a drop zone before dropping knees on the knee! Natty pushes out of the Figure Four then drags Charlotte around, but still no Sharpshooter! NATURAL SELECTION! It was low, Charlotte covers, TWO!! Charlotte shakes her head, she refuses to give up. She drags Natty to a new drop zone and heads up top. Charlotte climbs up, MOONSAULT, Natty puts her boots up! But Charlotte catches them to figure four! Natty cradle counters, TWO! BOOT! Then the “WOO~” for the Figure Four! And then the bridge, FIGURE EIGHT! Natty endures, reaches, powers up, but taps! Charlotte wins!
Winner: Charlotte Flair, by submission
And the first woman to enter the Royal Rumble is a winner! But will Charlotte win the Rumble to go on to WrestleMania 36?
Backstage interview with Becky Lynch!
The Raw Women’s Champion is here, and she’s still waiting to face Asuka. The challenge was accepted, and Becky chooses the Royal Rumble for their match! The Man VS The Empress for the title! A huge decision, but how was this finally made? Becky’s contract is almost up, so she used Becky VS Asuka as the bartering chip. She’s gambling a lot. She could just accept one of the biggest contracts ever, and be one of the longest reining champs, but she can’t give up that loss to Asuka. Becky could coast, but if this is what being on top is, she doesn’t want it. History demanded a woman be the face of the business, and that has happened. But Becky needs to see if she’s worth it. Being a golden goose means being in golden shackles. Becky vows to wipe that loss from her record, even if it kills her. Is Becky finally ready for Asuka?
Bobby Lashley is also preparing for the wedding.
He’s wearing the slacks, the suit jacket, and not much else. Will the Rocky Mountain Machine be ready to live ravishingly ever after?
Liv Morgan speaks.
“To be different, you can’t just look different. You have to feel different.” Someone once made Liv feel “different.” And then they took that all away. The old Liv would’ve done something impulsive. The new Liv is “more methodical.” Liv will strike when she’s ready. And she’s almost ready. Are you?
The OC head to the ring!
The Phenomenal One and the Best Tag Team in the World throw up the Too Sweet in Hartford! They each take up a mic and AJ Styles says, “If there are any doubters left that still need proof that Raw is the OC’s show, here it is.” Styles of course means the Good Brothers beating the Viking Raiders 2v2, then the OC beating the Viking Raiders and Randy Orton in Six Man Tag action! “Everybody said the Viking Raiders were unbeatable. Even stupid people like you were saying that!” But the OC beat them “time and time again.” One time being at Crown Jewel to officially be recognized as the Best Tag Team in the World! Look at that trophy!
Gallows agrees with “Hot Karl.” When it comes to who is next to challenge the “goofs,” the answer is- The Street Profits! Angelo Dawkins and Montez Ford are here and with mics of their own. “Dawkins, is it true that Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson have beaten the unbeatable Viking Raiders more than once?” It is. Is it true that Gallows & Anderson just won the biggest tag team turmoil in history, making them the BEST Tag Team in the WOOOOORLD? Yes, they did. Then what does that mean for the Profits? Because on their debut, they BEAT Gallows & Anderson? Pause! “Fam, don’t get inspired, bruh.” But yeah, they beat they A$$. Then what does that mean for the team that beat the best team in the world? That means the PROFITS are- “Lucky.” Styles says they’re just lucky. They’ve only had a handful of matches. The best thing to do is stick to that shtick backstage, or get hurt.
Dawkins says he’d feel threaten, but this is coming from three men naming themselves after a teen soap opera. Ford sings for California~ but Gallows has had enough. This isn’t High School Musical, this is Raw. Get in the ring so they can fight! Well okay then, fam. The Street Profits are up and #WeWantTheSmoke!
The Street Profits VS The OC w/ AJ Styles!
The bell rings and Dawkins steps to Anderson! They circle, tie up, and Dawkins headlocks. Ford tags in and takes the hand-off to a wrench. Anderson hits back and bumps Ford on buckles. Anderson whips corner to corner, Ford goes up and over and shows off his agility! Ford arm-drags Anderson to an armlock and flicks his tongue at Styles. Ford keeps on Anderson, “Tell me how good I am!” Anderson fights his way up, whips free but Ford reverses to dropkick Anderson down! Cover, TWO! Ford keeps his eyes on Styles as he drags Anderson over. Tag to Dawkins, Dawkins hops up and drops ax handles on Anderson’s arm!
Dawkins headlocks Anderson but Anderson powers out. Dawkins hurdles Anderson then throws Anderson to the ropes to run him over! Ford is fired up abut Styles swipes at Dawkins! The ref keeps Dawkins back and EJECTS Styles! The OC are furious but now things are even! Raw goes to break as the Profits are fired up!
Raw returns again and Anderson grinds Ford down with a chinlock. Ford endures and fights his way up as fans rally. Ford reaches but Anderson kicks and whips him away. Ford BOOTS from the corner, but runs into a neckbreaker! Cover, TWO! Anderson keeps his cool as he drags Ford up by his ear. Tag to Gallows and the OC mugs Ford. Gallows puts Ford in a corner to throw big body shots! Gallows ROCKS Ford with the uppercut! Gallows drags Ford up, suplexes and drops Ford down. Cover, TWO! Gallows clamps onto Ford and drives elbows in over and over. Gallows wraps on a new chinlock and grinds Ford down. Ford endures as fans rally with “We Want the Smoke!” Ford feeds off that energy to get to his feet and fight with elbows. Gallows shoves and BOOTS Ford down! Cover, TWO!
Gallows drops a leg on Ford, brother! Cover, TWO! Gallows puts the chinlock back on and Anderson talks trash from the corner. Dawkins coaches Ford and fans rally again. Ford fires up again as fans continue to chant “We Want the Smoke!” Ford fights up but Gallows clubs him down. Gallows DECKS Dawkins, but Ford dropkicks Gallows! Both men are down now, but Gallows crawls to his corner. Ford crawls but Dawkins isn’t there. Tag to Anderson, and Anderson back suplexes. Ford slips out, ducks and Dawkins is back! Hot tag tot he Curse of Greatness! Dawkins rallies on the OC, big uppercut for Anderson! Dropkick for Gallows! EXPLODER for Anderson! Dawkins fires up and fans fire up with him! Dawkins cyclone splashes Gallows, then Anderson! BULLDOG! Cover, TWO!
Dawkins keeps on Anderson but has to ROCK Gallows with a right. Anderson hits a SPINE BUSTER! Cover, TWO! Tag to Gallows and Anderson hits Ford away. Gallows lifts Dawkins, back suplex neckbreaker combo! Cover, TWO! Gallows tags Anderson back in and they drag Dawkins back up. Ford stops Magic Killer but Gallows ROCKS him. Ford comes back with a dropkick! Anderson whips Ford, but Ford dodges to FLY out onto Gallows! Dawkins gives Anderson a SPINE BUSTER! Tag to Ford, Ford climbs up, WORLD STAR SPLASH! Cover, the Profits win!!
Winners: The Street Profits, Ford by pinfall
It’s not a fluke, it’s real! The Profits get another win on the Best Tag Team in the World, the team that beat the Raw Tag Team Champions! Does this mean Ford and Dawkins are headed for those titles in the New Year?
It’s official!
The Royal Rumble will have Becky Lynch defend her Raw Women’s Championship against Asuka! A rematch one year in the making, who will be the best when the dust settles?
Lana checks the flowers.
They are lovely and smell lovely, too. Will the most ravishing wedding in WWE history be perfect?
The Profits celebrate!
“YEEEEEEEAH!” Did you see that? They beat the OC, the Best Tag Team in the WOOORLD, again! Doesn’t that make them the best team in the UNIVERSE? No, bigger than that. Bigger than the universe?! What’s bigger than that?! The MULTIVERSE! Whoa what’s that? A hypothetical group of multiple universes. The theory is that there are parallel worlds and universes with parallel versions of Earth. This is based on theoretical- Nevermind. Isn’t he ready for the wedding? Lana and Lashley! Dawkins don’t care about that. Where them bridesmaids at? But seriously, to the OC AND the Viking Raiders. The Profits have 2020 vision! The most important words in this or any universe: WE WANT THE SMOKE!
2v1 Handicap Match: Zack Ryder & Curt Hawkins VS Drew McIntyre!
After the Major Bros were each beaten down by the Scottish Terminator, they want to see him do that fair and square against them both! Will McIntyre have the happiest New Year when he drops these two?
McIntyre has a mic as he makes his entrance and he seems to be laughing at Ryder and Hawkins. “Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we have ourselves a two-on-one match.” Hawkins & Ryder VS the #SexyScot, McIntyre. McIntyre leans on the barrier and says he’s supposedly at a disadvantage. But he has a feeling that he shouldn’t worry at all. But he’ll put this theory to the test and take a poll. Hartford, make sure you’re real pretty because you’re going to be on TV. Well maybe not that guy. But who here thinks McIntyre should be worried? A handful. But who thinks Ryder and Hawkins, who got brutalized and slaughtered, should be extremely worried? Everyone else! Well then that’s a landslide right there. The people have spoken, the numbers are in, and just like everyone else that faces McIntyre, “You’re screwed!”
But as McIntyre gets up on the apron, Ryder and Hawkins knock him off it! And take the fight to him! But McIntyre RAMS Ryder into barriers, and trips Hawkins on the apron! McIntyre runs Ryder over then goes after Hawkins int he ring. McIntyre wants this match to being, it does, and he SUPLEXES Hawkins across the ring! Fans fire up as McIntyre aims from the corner. Hawkins stands, a countdown begins… CLAYMORE! But he doesn’t cover, McIntyre gives Ryder a FUTURE SHOCK! And then kips up to show off that uncanny agility. He stacks the Major Bros and covers, McIntyre wins!
Winner: Drew McIntyre, by pinfall
The Scottish Stud has the ref raise his hand, and he is on a roll! Surely McIntyre is a shoe-in for the Men’s Royal Rumble. Will he run roughshod all over it and carve a path to WrestleMania 36?
The first Raw of 2020 will be MASSIVE!
Oklahoma City becomes Suplex City as The Beast, BROCK LESNAR, returns! There will also be a WWE United States Championship rematch between El Idolo and Rey Mysterio! AND there will be a Triple Threat for the Raw Tag Team Championships! The Viking Raiders take on both the OC and the Street Profits to truly prove who is the best tag team on Raw!
Randy Orton is here!
However, he isn’t doing so well after a knee injury suffered during a show in Hershey, Pennsylvania, just last night on December 29th. He walks out with crutches and makes his way down to the ring so that he may address what happened. However, he does need some help getting in because of the injured leg. Orton stands and fans cheer in support of him toughing it out to be here tonight. Orton has a mic as fans chant his name. “There’s a saying in this business, ‘It ain’t that leg.'” Accidents, injuries, they happen all the time. Everyone in the locker room knows of the fact that anything can happen. “It kills me that I needed help to get into the ring tonight in front of you.” Fans continue to cheer their support as Orton tries to find the words.
Orton says that he’s seen champions that have surrendered titles because of injuries. He doesn’t respect many people, but he does respect Edge. Edge had to surrender an entire career because of injury. No one wants to see that happen to anyone. Orton doesn’t want to ramble, but long story short, he landed funny, something popped, knew it was bad but didn’t know how bad until this morning’s evaluations. Fans again cheer their support as Orton says that he’ll be out a long time. The part that hurts the most is that he might not be able to come back. Fans boo and chant “NO! NO!”, they don’t want him to think that way. But Orton says he will do whatever he has to for someone to get RKO’d at Mania. That is his promise to the fans.
But here comes AJ Styles! The Phenomenal One wants a timeout. “You mean to tell me that the next time I get to fight you in that ring is WrestleMania?” Maybe. Is that what’s going on? Styles gets in the ring with Orton and Orton says this isn’t the time. Styles says this IS the time. Is Orton mad? Of course he’s mad. But what is Orton going to do? Is he going to strike? Orton keeps his cool as Styles taunts him. Styles says this is the time to do something he hasn’t done since he was five. “I’m not touching you! I’m not touching you!” Oh, he did touch him. How bad is that knee? Orton warns Styles not to push him but Styles says Orton’s gonna stand there and take it. Styles knows ORton was never the helpless kid being picked on at school, but he is now. “Isn’t it funny how fate bit Randy Orton before Orton could bite fate?”
Styles says he’s not done, but he wants to do Orton a favor. He’ll give fans what they want. Styles says he’ll put his arms behind his back and let The Viper strike. That’s what fans want, isn’t it? Styles puts one arm back, then the other. And he offers up his neck for the RKO. “C’mon! C’mon, Randy!” Styles even closes his eyes so he won’t see it coming. But Orton doesn’t move, so Styles grins. Orton must really be hurt, huh? Well good thing, because Styles is a patient man. Styles will wait until Mania to finally put that leg in a Calf Crusher and not just make Orton tap, but retire. See you then. Oh and another thing. Styles kicks one of the crutches out! Fans boo but Styles grins.
Fans chant “AJ Sucks!” but Orton tells Styles, there’s a big difference between these two. That difference is that styles is patient, and Orton isn’t. A ONE LEGGED RKO! Because the leg WASN’T that bad after all! The Viper is a snake, but he’s also a genius! It seems things won’t have to wait until WrestleMania, but will Orton regret it in the New Year?
WWE shares footage from Thursday’s Madison Square Garden event.
Rey Mysterio lost to Andrade Almas, and now Almas is the NEW WWE United States Champion. Afterward, Mysterio admitted that Almas was the better man. But Mysterio is looking forward to the rematch. As for Seth Rollins and the AOP, no one should count Mysterio out on going after them, either. Mysterio wants Rollins to know that while he didn’t start this, he promises to END it, and standing tall over them. #BOOYAKA619.
Andrade Almas w/ Zelina Vega VS ???
El Idolo is El Campeon but needs to prepare for his rematch with Rey Mysterio in the New Year. Will he get a proper warm-up from his opponent tonight?
Raw returns and Almas’ opponent gets a BOOT at the bell! Almas knees and whips then clotheslines the man down! Almas is fired up as he drags his opponent up to whip corner to corner. The opponent elbows back then runs, into a dropkick! Almas glares as he stops his opponent down in a corner. Almas drags his opponent into the corner for more stomps! Vega applauds and Almas fires up. Almas runs corner to corner, CIEN SHADOWS! But Almas doesn’t even try to cover. He drags his opponent up, reels him in and hammerlocks, but Vega wants to add on. Almas throws his opponent out of the ring and Vega pulls up floor mats! The ref reprimands Almas but Almas drags his opponent over to the bare concrete. Almas CHOPS the man then brings him over, but here comes Ricochet!
Ricochet runs and Almas gets back in the ring. Ricochet won’t let this Hartford wrestler suffer the same fate as Humberto Carrillo. Ricochet hops into the ring and tells Almas, “No, no, no!” This isn’t going to go down like that. Almas did that to Carrillo, and then did it to Rey Mysterio! If Almas wants a fight, then fight Ricochet! Fans chant “YES! YES! YES!” but Almas looks reluctant. Raw goes to break as things sort out.
Andrade Almas w/ Zelina Vega VS Ricochet!
Raw returns and this match is happening! Will El Idolo get more than he bargained for against the One and Only?
Ricochet throws hands and CHOPS Almas. He whips but Almas reverses, only for Ricochet to roll off the back and trip Almas up. Ricochet slingshots to knee-board senton! Cover, ONE! Ricochet keeps cool as he brings Almas up and into a corner for another CHOP! Ricochet whips corner to corner and then runs in, but Almas puts him on the apron. Ricochet shoulders in but Vega distracts. Almas runs in but Ricochet punches him away. Ricochet springboards, into a dropkick! Almas is on Ricochet in the corner with stomps! The ref counts but Almas lets up at 4, all fired up. Almas and Vega still want to have that bare spot so she again pulls up floor mats. Almas CHOPS Ricochet and then whips him to ropes. Almas runs Ricochet over with an elbow, then stomps him down.
Almas rains down rights and Vega applauds, but fans boo and jeer. Almas grins as he drags Ricochet up and underhooks. Ricochet endures the butterfly stretch, powers his arm free and rolls Almas, TWO! Almas kicks Ricochet down, then praises himself. Almas drags Ricochet up, shimmies the shoulders and suplexes. Ricochet slips out, huricanranas and Almas bails out! Ricochet builds speed to FLY! Fosbury Flop wipes both men out into the barriers! Vega shouts at Almas to get up but it’s Ricochet who stands first! Ricochet puts Almas in and follows, aiming from the apron. Almas rolls out the other end, but Ricochet comes around the corner. Almas rams Ricochet into barriers! Almas refreshes the count and then ram Ricochet into the LED apron!
Almas drags Ricochet to the exposed floor, but Ricochet pops out to ROCK Almas! Ricochet runs at Almas but gets BACK DROPPED onto the concrete! The referee checks but Ricochet refuses to quit here, so Raw goes to break.
Raw returns again and Almas grinds Ricochet down with a chinlock. Ricochet fights his way up but slowly. Ricochet elbows free but Almas knees low and CHOPS Ricochet back. Almas runs but into the dropkick-flip and enziguri! Ricochet fires up, runs and rallies with forearms! Fireman’s carry but Almas slips out. Almas shoves but Ricochet boots, somersaults and shotgun dropkicks! Fans fire up with Ricochet as he hits the standing shooting star! Cover, TWO! Ricochet and Almas are down, but Ricochet rises first. Ricochet drags Almas away but Vega grabs Almas’ hands. Ricochet stomps Almas’ arms to get him away from Vega. Ricochet wristlocks but Almas slips out of the ripcord. Almas CHOPS, Ricochet CHOPS and rolling elbows! Ricochet runs into an ELBOW! Cover, TWO!! Vega is shocked and Almas is furious but Ricochet survives!
Almas says he is the champion, he is the best! He drags Ricochet up, hammerlocks but Ricochet avoids the leg trip to cradle counter! TWO, and Ricochet ducks the elbow to SUPERKICK! Ricochet suplexes for the Anarchy! Ricochet aims from up top but Vega shoves him down! The ref didn’t see it, Almas hammerlocks, LA SOMBRA! Cover, Almas wins!
Winner: Andrade Almas, by pinfall
La Muneca again helps El Idolo get away with a victory yet again! But if this is what Almas needs to win, will it work against Rey Mysterio?
Lana takes pre-wedding pictures.
She of course loves all the attention, and now it’s time for the ceremony itself. Will things go as according to plan to end the year?
Backstage interview with Andrade and Zelina.
Given his title defense next week with Rey Mysterio, how confident is he in this rematch? Vega speaks, saying everyone wanted a piece of the new champion already. Ricochet did, and look what happened to him. Humberto Carrillo tried and ended up eating concrete. If Mysterio wants another piece, then he’ll get it when El Idolo beats him again. Almas always said he was the future, and now he is the present. Will Almas keep that championship when he and Mysterio go around one more time?
The Most Ravishing Wedding is about to begin!
The flowers, the altar, and a massive cake are in the ring as the presiding priest introduces the groom, Bobby Lashley! Lashley enters but it seems no superstars decided to come, as the seats on stage are empty. Lashley enters the ring and flexes, but fans boo. Now, welcome the Ravishing Bride, Lana! Lana walks out but not to the traditional “Here Comes the Bride” music. Lana takes a moment to let everyone see her as she walks down the ramp, no one to give her away. Lashley helps Lana into the ring, and the couple-to-be stand ready as Raw goes to one last break.
Raw returns once more and the proceedings continue. “We are gathered here on this blessed day,” as Bobby Lashley and Lana are to be wed in holy matrimony. A cause of great celebration, “for married life is a shared life, and a shared life is a life filled with many great blessings.” The priest feels he speaks for everyone when he says that hopefully Lashley and Lana will grow to be better people through this marriage. Fans boo because they don’t wish for that. Hopefully the two of them bless their household with “the pitter-patter of little feet.” Lana doesn’t remember putting that in the speech. She doesn’t want children, at all. She’ll just get fat, have stretch marks, and end up like these wannabe women. These women will NEVER compare to her! Only read what she put in there! Lashley also assures the priest to continue.
The speech continues that marriage is a sacred agreement that must be coveted by both parties. The fans chant for Rusev but Lana shouts them down. “It has been said that when man and woman were originally created, one being was split in two, and we spend our lives searching for our other half.” Lashley, Lana, you two have found that other half and we are all so very happy for you both. Not Hartford. Lashley and Lana have chosen to write their own vows, so it is with those vows that they express their binding promises to love, honor and cherish each other. If they are ready, please face each other and- Lana tells the Rusev fans to shut up! Lashley calms Lana down and she takes her turn with the vows. Lana says this is HER day, it’s all about her! It’s L-A-N-A, Lana Day!
Fans boo but she tells “her Bobby” that this is the luckiest day of his entire life. He is marrying the greatest superstar of all time, and joining her in holy matrimony. No woman will ever compare to Lana. Lana is sorry everyone else is so pathetic but it’s true. Lashley has worked so hard his entire life to be the best at everything. The greatest gift he could ever give himself is Lana. Fans are getting louder with the Rusev Day chants and Lana counters with “Lana Day! Lana Day!” This is HER day. And to finish her vows, the decade is ending, just 25 hours away from the greatest new decade. Lashley has worked his whole life to lead him to the greatest moment in his life right here, marrying her. And she just wants to get through this to make love to him! She jumps right on him to give him a kiss, but a bit out of turn.
Lashley takes his turn with his vows. Lana is so proud of him. It took her forever to write the vows for him, so thank you for reading them. Lashley takes out his notes and reads, “Lana, I really am the luckiest man on the face of this entire planet. Not only because I’m going to marry the most successful female superstar in the history of WWE, but I’m being joined in holy matrimony to a woman that no other woman could compare to.” Lashley has spent- Fans go “WHAT?” and Lana says they should be asking “WHO?” And the answer is LANA! Lashley has spent his entire life to be the best, and Lana is the greatest gift he could ever give himself. The final Raw of the decade, 25 hours away from 2020, and his life has culminated in this: marrying her. Wait these sound just like what Lana said. “Thank you for allowing me to marry you.”
Time to present the rings. The rings that they will place on each other’s fingers as symbols of their love. They will be reminders of the vows they spoke and the love they have for each other. Lashley has his ring and takes her hand. “Lana, with this ring, I thee wed.” As this ring encircles your finger, from this moment forward, Lashley’s love will forever encircle her. Lashley promises to love, cherish and accept her just the way she is. For better or for worse, in sickness or in health- Okay, okay, it’s the usual. Lana wants to skip ahead. Lana’s turn with the ring and she goes on her own version of the vow. Everything is about her and her Bobby. Okay hold on. If there is anyone who has reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace.
“Stop it! Stop it right now!” Who is this man? And why is he objecting? He objects to this “charade” and “sham,” this wedding should not be allowed to continue! This man is LANA’S FIRST HUSBAND! What?! As in, even before Rusev?! Lana married him the day she turned 18! And then she left him for RUSEV. Lana tells this man to get out of here for being obsessed. But this guy feels bad that Rusev got left for Lashley! And Lana will just do it again when someone bigger and better comes along. It’s what Lana does. Lashley won’t stand to hear this, he CHOKE SLAMS the man out of the ring! The priest calms down and continues with the ceremony. If there is anyone who has reason why these to should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace. Hallelujah, no one says anything- Nevermind.
A woman storms out and shouts objection! Lashley seems to know who this is. She’s Lashley’s FIRST WIFE. Lana is upset that she only now just met this person. The former Mrs. Lashley says they met while he was in the military. It was a beautiful relationship, but then Lana DECKS her! Well, uh, third time’s the charm? If there is anyone who has reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace. Nothing? Wait! Another woman objects. Is that… LIV MORGAN!? She apologizes but she can’t let this continue. The love of her life is right there in the ring. If it wasn’t for their love, she couldn’t have made it through the year. She was a wild child hoping her dream would come true. Liv never knew that she could be herself and fell in love with… How could you do this to Liv?
Lashley has never touched Liv ONCE! Well no, sorry, it wasn’t Lashley. Liv meant LANA! DRAMA BOMB! Lana is in tears as Liv begs her. Lana SLAPS and attacks Liv! She throws flowers on her and now it’s a cat fight! Lashley isn’t sure what to do with this, but referees hurry to separate them. Security come out to help, and finally Lashley helps pull Lana away from Liv. Liv shrieks, vowing revenge, but Lana says this is going to END. Man and woman, by the power vested in this man- the CAKE OPENS!! Rusev tackles Lashley!! And then throws him into the posts! And into the altar! “Hello, wife!” Rusev grins at Lana before dragging Lashley up for more haymakers! And a LARIAT! Rusev rains down rights and then smashes flower pots on Lashley!
Lana is freaking out, so she jumps on Rusev. Rusev shakes her off to MACHKA KICK Lashley! Liv returns to SMASH Lana into the cake!! Rusev and Liv stand tall over the toxic Lashley and Lana, but Lana throws cake back at Rusev! So Liv throws her back into the cake! So much for a New Year’s Wedding! Will 2020 only get crazier from here?
My Thoughts:
Well, I’ll say this: this Raw will be one to remember from this year and even decade. Everything before the wedding was great, but the wedding itself was about as cringe worthy as everything else in this Rusev-Lana-Lashley story. Anyone who made a “Worst of” list, you might need to reconsider it now that this has happened. Lana making Lashley’s vows a copy-n-paste of hers was really bad. While it makes sense that Lana would want it to be all about her, she could at least come up with something different for him to say that praises her. Also I’m a little disappointed in the Lashley character that he’s being led around by her. He should be upset that she’s belittling everything else he’s done in his life to say that marrying her is the best thing. But oh well, it seems Lashley is really hooked on the Ravishing Russian like a drug.
The “Jerry! Jerry!” dysfunction was so bad it was hilarious, and then Liv’s surprise debut is really… something. Liv’s promo from tonight mentioned about striking at the opportune time, but I don’t want to presume anything. Was Liv just saying that stuff to get revenge at Lana? Or is this really how WWE (i.e. Vince) is going to do an LGBT storyline? I feel like going with mind-games would keep progressive fans from being upset from having to wade through a layer of cringe. Though one way or another, this shows us that the blow-off will be a mixed tag match, probably at the Royal Rumble.
The Rollins story is going good places. Rollins continues to see himself as the hero, which makes for a good villain. Obviously Samoa Joe helps Kevin Owens fight Rollins & The AOP, but as Mysterio says in his promo, don’t count him out of this story. The Six Man Tag we’ll likely see before the Royal Rumble will be Rollins & The AOP VS Joe, Kevin and Mysterio. I’m betting Rollins & The AOP win by cheating but retribution comes at the Rumble itself. Next week’s episode will be amazing, too, with Lesnar being around to start a Rumble story, Mysterio VS Almas, and then a Triple Threat for the Raw Tag titles. Profits VS Good Brothers was great, and it was amazing to see Profits win. They also had a hilarious “multiverse” promo. But in a Triple Threat, I don’t see the Profits winning the titles. It either stays with the Viking Raiders or goes to The OC.
Aleister VS Murphy was AMAZING, not enough can be said about it. Rowan wrecks another jobber but meh. His confronting Lana was way more interesting. Charlotte’s open challenge to face Natalya was a great match. Not sure why this was when the 24/7 Championship showed up, and I’m disappointed Natalya and Charlotte didn’t end up part of it just by accident. Truth could’ve tripped on Natty and Natty pins him to win, and then Charlotte wins it off Natty to then give it back to Truth. That aside, Charlotte is certainly the favorite to win the Women’s Rumble, but who knows if she’ll actually win now. Becky VS Asuka is made official, that match will be amazing. I even like that Becky threw in kayfabe contract talk to give good motivation from the administration side of things. There’s still a strong chance Becky wins to solidify her reign as champion, but as I said before, WWE needs to build up the rest of the roster to give her more worthy challengers.
McIntyre is really good. He dominates Ryder and Hawkins again and just does great on the mic. Why can’t he face Lesnar and take that title at Rumble? Orton’s “injury” from Hershey was sold really well, I almost started to think it was legit. But then Orton uses that to sucker Styles in for an RKO and it was actually pretty brilliant. I’m not entirely sure how this wraps up. Mania was mentioned but I don’t know if this can be stretched out that long. Almas VS Ricochet was set up rather well with Almas wanting to destroy a jobber, and the match itself was great. Naturally, Almas wins and with Vega’s help, and as I said, Almas VS Mysterio is going to be great. With the wedding being the last segment, Almas and Ricochet can at least say they were the last main event match of Raw in 2019 and the decade. Almas will surely hold onto the title even against Mysterio, so that will be a great honor and will help him have a great 2020 to start.
My Score: 8/10
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Tables, Ladders, and Chairs for the championships!
To finally settle things between The Street Profits, Motor City Machine Guns and DIY, they battle for the WWE Tag Team Championships in TLC!
OFFICIAL RESULTS
- Los Garza VS Fraxiom; Fraxiom wins.
- Tiffany Stratton VS Jade Cargill; Jade wins, by disqualification.
- WWE Women’s United States Championship: Chelsea Green w/ The Secret Her-vice VS Zelina Vega; Zelina wins and becomes the new WWE Women’s United States Champion.
- WWE United States Championship #1 Contender’s Match: LA Knight VS Drew McIntyre; McIntyre wins, by disqualification, no word on contender status.
- WWE Tag Team Championships TLC Triple Threat: The Street Profits VS Motor City Machine Guns VS DIY; The Profits win and retain the titles.
PLAY BY PLAY
The final hour of SmackDown will be commercial free!
That’s right, we won’t have to miss a thing when it comes to tonight’s main event, that Triple Threat Tables, Ladders & Chairs match!
JOHN CENA is here!
Fort Worth, Texas erupts with, “JOHN CENA SUCKS~! JOHN CENA SUCKS~!” as the NEW and historic SEVENTEEN-TIME WWE Champion makes his way out to the ring! But just like on Monday, Cena wants Mark Nash to join him in the ring. The fans boo while Mark reluctantly steps into the ring with Cena. The fans now chant, “LET’S GO, CENA!” “CENA SUCKS!” Cena shakes his head in disappointment, but he gives Mark the same script as on Monday. Mark again apologizes that his announcement was still disrespectful.
Mark again redoes it, because this is the GREATEST of All Time! The Never-Seen Seventeen, gracing Fort Worth with his presence for the final time… THE LAST REAL CHAMPION, JOHN CENA! Mark exits the ring, the fans still chant, but Cena stares down a father and child in the front row. The booing returns, but then RANDY ORTON makes his entrance! Cena is stopped in his tracks while the fans cheer The Viper. Orton steps into the ring, has his time to pose, and then grabs a mic. The fans cheer on Orton, but Cena holds up the title. The fans boo and Orton smirks. Orton tells Cena, “Do you know what I found out just a couple days ago?”
In a couple months, it’ll be 25 years to the day that Orton and Cena first shook hands. 25 years. They have known each other for 25 YEARS. And this is a compliment: up until a couple months ago, Cena had not changed. He was always about hustle, loyalty and respect. It wasn’t just a catchphrase for merchandise, it was a way of life. It was Cena’s mantra for every day of his life. So Orton realized he needs to think what’s going on here. There must be a void in Cena’s life that needs fulfillment.
So Orton wracked his brain, thought about all the fans over the years. The millions and millions of kids who have looked up to Cena since day one! All the kids that Cena has motivated, that he has been a role model for. Kids accomplished goals and set more goals. Track & field, basketball, the classroom, generations upon generations looked up to Cena. Surely, that meant something to Cena. Cena has granted more wishes than anyone in the history of the Make-A-Wish Foundation. You cannot tell Orton that each and every one of those sick children didn’t leave with a piece of Cena’s heart. They can’t just be a number to him.
So… Orton figured out how to fill the void. Take it from Orton, but Cena needs to have some damn kids of his own. Imagine a bunch of square-jawed, thick-armed little Cenas running around? The world would be a better place, and Cena would be back to who he is, and who Orton knows he is. Cena needs to grow up and be a father, it’ll make him a better human being. Cena thinks on that, then smirks. Cena says, “How dare you.” The fans boo, but Cena says how dare Orton prance out here with a smile on his face under the guise of making Cena feel better, than “parent shame” him in front of the whole world!
“Congratulations, Randy Orton. You have children and you love them. Good for you.” Does Orton want to know the real reason Cena doesn’t have kids? Because he’s spent the last 25 YEARS raising yours, fans! And by the sound of it from this group tonight, Cena has done an impeccable job! Here is the REAL truth! For the last 25 years, Cena has been a better parent to the fans’ children then they could ever be! That’s right, kids! Your dad’s a loser! Oh, wow, a six year old just gave him the middle finger. How classy. THAT is why Cena doesn’t have kids. He’s been policing brats like that for a quarter of a century!
The fans boo but Cena tells that one kid, “Never bring a knife to a gun fight. Bet your loser dad didn’t teach you that one! And don’t look at me like you’re gonna do something, either.” Cena asks Orton if we’re done here, and Orton says no, they’re not. Has the Hollywood rot set so deep inside Cena’s brain that he can’t hear Orton? It doesn’t have to be one or the other. The fans are why Cena is here before us in the ring now. They’re why Cena’s in Hollywood. WWE is why Cena is in Hollywood and he is crushing it. Cena cut his teeth in the WWE, developed his work ethic in WWE, and that’s why he’s crushing it.
Without the WWE, there is no Cena in Hollywood. And without the fans, there is no WWE. No matter how you add it up, no matter what math you apply to it, these fans are the biggest reason why Cena is in this ring with Orton today. Orton says he has made a lot of mistakes throughout his life and his career, and he’s learned from them on this long journey. But Orton can go into the locker room, head held high, and he can get disrespect from his peers. Orton is furniture here, he is here to stay. Cena is now just a guest. Cena says, “We all have our perspectives. I used to believe yours. That without them, there is no WWE.”
Cena used to think that they all won together. Cena was wrong. “We” didn’t win anything, CENA did! Cena has never needed a single one of these people! They will chant in the same breath, “Let’s Go, Cena!” “Cena Sucks!” The fans chant that very thing. Cena says he called out a rando and that guy turned pale white. Imagine having that chanted at you for 25 YEARS! The fans mean NOTHING to him! Orton is just like them! They’re all hypocrites! Because once you get tired of Cena, you can put your energy into any superstar you want. But if the roles are reversed, and Cena puts his energies into anything other than this, he’s an outcast? A guest?
That is why this is dysfunctional! That’s why this doesn’t work anymore! This is NOT a functional relationship, this is manipulation! The fans manipulate the truth to make themselves feel good about how they’ve done nothing with their lives! Cena points to a fan and says, “The only thing that man has done right there is dress up to look like Jack Black! He’s 100 years old and that’s all he has to say for his life!” Cena feels criticized and labeled as an outcast and guest for simply trying to do something different.
Orton says he was so… SO stupid for thinking that for one second, in this weird bizarro world where Orton’s now a good guy and Cena’s now a bad guy, that Cena would somehow listen. But the words coming out of Orton’s mouth are not penetrating that thick ass skull of Cena’s, are they? Cody Rhodes, before his badass entrance, it says wrestling has more than one royal family. And he’s not just talking about the Rhodes, right? He’s also talking about the Orton’s! Cena wants to ruin wrestling? Wrestling gave Orton everything! Ever since he came out of his mother’s womb, wrestling has provided for Orton!
Wrestling will provide for Orton, his family, his loved ones, until Orton is six feet in the ground. Ruin wrestling? No, not over Orton’s dead body. Cena shouts, “SHUT YOUR MOUTH! You just don’t understand, do you!? I’ll explain it to you. I’ve already won 17, okay? You’ve won 14. But after I take this home with me, you are forever frozen at 14! Yes, there will be another show. You will have other matches, they will create some tinfoil title and decide a champion. And if you are lucky to ever get your hands on it, your counter starts over at one, you babbling moron!”
The fans boo but Cena says what he’s trying to do is that when he leaves here, three generations of Orton’s family is ERASED! Cena paces around Orton but the fans chant for “R K O! R K O!” Orton looks at Cena and says Cena thinks he’s the Last Real Champion, but then prove it! Put the title on the line and fight Orton here and now! The fans like the sound of that! Orton says how dare Cena say what he said to Orton after everything Orton’s been through! Cena raises his title, and says, “No. No. And just like so many times over the past 25 years, I’m doing it to save your ass.
“There should be a match. Randy Orton VS John Cena, for the Undisputed Championship! But it shouldn’t happen here. I’ve already given you (Fort Worth) a hard enough time, it’s not your fault. It’s for Randy. It should happen at Backlash, Randy. Because Backlash is in St. Louis. I know that’s hard for you to hear, but for Randy, it’s great. Because Randy is from St. Louis. It’s so you can spend the whole day with your family, Randy. Make sure you show up well-rested. Randy Orton at his best. Because I need Randy Orton at his best. Because after Backlash, when you fail, you will have no excuses.
“Take a good look, Randy. This is what the Last Real Champion looks like.” The fans boo, but Cena says, “And this is as close to this championship as you’re ever going to get. Then Cena throws it to Orton, so he can DECK Orton! The fans boo as Cena stomps away on Orton! Cena snarls as he picks the belt back up, and then he takes aim! Orton slowly stands back up, Cena runs up, but Orton ducks! R K O!! The fans fire up as Orton gets Cena again! Orton throws his jacket to the fans, then he paces around Cena. The fans cheer Orton on as he picks up the title, and he stands on the corner! The fans cheer, could this be how it looks at the end of Backlash?
Los Garza VS Fraxiom!
While Angel y Berto are still hoping to be in line for a title shot after tonight’s massive TLC main event, a new team has already joined the roster! Nathan Frazer & Axiom may have only just lost the NXT Tag Team Championships, but will they be right back on track for more gold?
SmackDown returns as Fraxiom makes their entrance. The teams sort out and Axiom starts against Berto. They circle, tie up, and Berto pulls Axiom’s mask! The ref reprimands, the fans boo, but Berto stops at 4. Berto whips, Axiom RANAS in return! Axiom DROPKICKS Berto, tags Frazer, then they whip. Berto reverses but Axiom reverses back, and he has the IRON OCTOPUS! Frazer builds speed, and he DROPKICKS Berto! Berto bails out, Angel runs in, but he runs into the Fraxiom speed combo! Kick after kick, then an assisted DROPKICK! Angel regroups with Berto outside, but Frazer DIVES! Direct hit on Berto!
Axiom DIVES and direct hit on Angel! They keep going, Frazer FLIES to take out both Garzas! The fans fire up and Axiom goes up, up, and GOLDEN TRIANGLE MOONSAULTS! Los Garza is down again and the fans fire up again! Fraxiom puts Berto in, Frazer covers, ONE! Tag to Axiom and he brings Berto around for a headlock. Berto endures, pulls the mask, and Angel tags in. Berto powers out, Axiom dodges, but Angel opens the ropes! Axiom tumbles to apron then floor, and Los Garza soaks up the heat while SmackDown goes picture in picture.
Axiom checks his neck, and Angel TAKES OFF THE PANTS! Angel soaks up the heat, then goes out to CHOP Axiom! Axiom falls over, Angel talks trash, but Axiom CHOPS back! Angel SMACKS Axiom off the apron, pushes him in the ring, then lines up a shot. Angel KICKS Axiom in the side! Then Angel sucker punches Frazer! Axiom CHOPS Angel, but Angel headlocks to snapmare and KICK Axiom! Tag to Berto, Los Garza stomp away on Axiom, but they stop as the ref counts. Berto drags Axiom up to CLUB him down, then brings him up for a clinch. Axiom headlocks, Berto powers out, and Berto scoops to BACKBREAKER!
Axiom writhes, Berto soaks up the heat, and Berto covers, TWO! Berto argues the count but the ref says it was fair. Berto whips Axiom hard into the Garza corner, then tags Angel. Angel drags Axiom by a leg, stands on Axiom’s face, and then pulls on the ankle. Axiom kicks free but Angel rains down fists! Angel smothers Axiom, then drags him up. Angel reels Axiom in, lifts, but Axiom slips free to fire off CHOPS! Angel slips around the kick to Gory Especial! Tag to Berto, slingshot and the GORY CUTTER! Cover, TWO! Axiom survives but Berto rains down fists! Angel snapmares to have a GROUND COBRA TWIST!
Axiom endures, SmackDown returns to single picture, and the fans rally up. Axiom fights up, fires shots, but Berto ROCKS him! Berto whips Axiom, but Axiom GAMANGIRIS Angel! Axiom goes up and over, hot tag to Frazer! AX HANDLE for Berto, then Frazer BOOTS Angel! CHOP for Berto, then a whip, but Berto reverses. Frazer ducks ‘n’ dodges and just gets faster to CLOBBER Berto! Then SLINGBLADE! The fans fire up, Frazer runs again, QUEBRADA for the DDT! Then a RUNNING SHOOTING STAR! Cover, TWO! Berto stays in this and the fans stay fired up. Frazer thinks of his options, and he brings Berto up.
Berto kicks, Frazer ducks, but the ENZIGIRI finds him! Angel sneaks a tag, Frazer ENZIGIRIS Berto! QUEBRADA into a SUPERKICK! Angel covers, TWO!! Frazer survive but Angel rains down fists! Tag to Berto and Angel puts Frazer up top. Los Garza climb up to bring Frazer up, SUPER M T Y!! Then Berto MOONSAULTS!! Cover, AXIOM BARRELS IN AND BREAKS IT! “This is Awesome!” as the teams fall back, tag to Angel! Hot tag to Axiom, and he runs up on Angel! Angel CHOPS first! Axiom ROCKS Angel! Angel and Axiom go forearm to forearm, then just fast ‘n’ furious! Angel V-TRIGGERS! Axiom PELES!
Axiom runs up, but into a HEADBUTT! Axiom falls back, Angel goes to a corner, and Angel climbs. But Axiom GAMANGIRIS! Axiom climbs, CHOPS, then brings Angel up, only for Angel to scoop! But Frazer CLUBS Angel! Frazer tags in, Axiom hits a SUPER SPANISH FLY! Frazer adds the PHOENIX SPLASH!! Cover, Fraxiom wins!
Winners: Fraxiom, by pinfall
The team that will #NeverSlowDown just hit the ground running, and they already have a massive win! Will nothing stop these two from taking over the SmackDown Tag Division?
Tiffany Stratton is here!
Fort Worth is fired up again as it is still #TiffyTime! That’s because “Pro-Wrestling Barbie” is still the WWE Women’s Champion, and she goes right to the ring. Tiff grabs a mic, and she asks, “What time is it?” “TIFFY TIME~!” That’s right! And at WrestleMania, in front of over 60 THOUSAND people, it was Tiffy Time. Tiff went toe-to-toe with one of the greatest in Charlotte Flair. And no lies, Tiff did doubt herself and the pressure got to her. But in the end, she prevailed and walked out of WrestleMania #AndStill THE WWE Women’s Champion! The fans cheer, and Tiff continues: For the longest time, she was always being called “The Next Charlotte Flair.”
“Wrong~! There may be only one Charlotte Flair, but I guarantee you there is only one Tiffany Stratton!” The fans cheer more, but wait! JADE CARGILL makes her way out here! The fans fire up again as now The Storm has come to Fort Worth. And Jade tells Tiff, “Cut it. Now I came here to give credit where it’s due, and your match with Charlotte was very impressive. But that did nothing but create a bigger target on your back. And since my business is finished with Naomi, I have nothing but time. So I think it’s time for me to remind everybody why I came here to the WWE! I think it’s time for everyone to see why I came here to be a champion.
“And I think it’s time for you to understand, just because you beat Charlotte doesn’t make you the best. Especially when you haven’t faced me.” The fans are torn, but Tiff tells Jade, “Okay. Well, why don’t you put your money where your mouth is, and let’s get a ref out right here, right now!” Jade agrees, the fans agree, and here’s a ref! Will these two tear it down on the SmackDown After WrestleMania? We find out, after the break!
Tiffany Stratton VS Jade Cargill!
SmackDown returns and the bell rings. Tiff and Jade talk a bit of smack before they tie up. The fans cheer, and Jade powers Tiff back. Tiff slips around to waistlock, but Jade switches to SLAM Tiff! Jade waistlocks again but Tiff rolls free. Tiff headlocks, Jade powers up but Tiff fights the suplex! Jade powers up and out this time, then she runs Tiff over! Jade flexes, the fans are torn, but Jade storms up to suplex! Tiff slips free, goes to a corner, then dodges Jade to roll her up! TWO, and the two stand off. Tiff says it was that close, and the fans rally up. Tiff and Jade circle, but then Tiff offers a handshake. Jade says sure, and they shake hands.
But then Tiff reels Jade in for a headlock! Jade powers up and out, drops down to then hurdle over! And arm-drag! Tiff flounders, stands up, then dodges Jade. Tiff drops down, hurdles over, but Jade blocks the hip toss to body shot! Jade fireman’s carries, but Tiff swings free to arm-drag! Jade is up, and she catches Tiff to BACKBREAKER! Tiff goes to the ropes, the fans rally up, and Jade runs in, only for Tiff to drop toehold her into ropes! Tiff runs and HIP ATTACKS! Jade flounders, Tiff runs up to TIFFY- NO, Jade sunset flips Tiff first! ONE, both women stand, and Jade hits a SPINEBUSTER! The fans fire up while Jade covers, TWO!
Tiff stays in this, but Jade stays on her. Jade pushes Tiff, clinches, and BODY SLAMS again! Cover, TWO! Tiff is still tougher than that, so Jade lines up a shot. But Tiff dodges the boot and rolls Jade! TWO, and now Tiff SPINEBUSTERS in return! Cover, TWO! Jade is also tougher than that, and the fans rally up. Jade goes to a corner, Tiff handsprings in, BACK ELBOW! Tiff says it’s still her time, and then she goes back for Jade. Cover. TWO! Still a little too cocky but Tiff drags Jade back up. Tiff bumps Jade off buckles, stomps away, but stops as the ref counts. Tiff handsprings again for another BACK ELBOW! Another cover, TWO!
Tiff is growing annoyed, but she is still in control, and SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns and Tiff trades shots with Jade! The fans cheer, then Tiff kicks low, KNEES hard, and fireman’s carries! ROLLING SENTON! Tiff goes up, up, and PRETTIEST MOONSAULT- Hold on, Tiff almost misses the ropes. Tiff jumps again, PRETTIEST- NO, Jade dodges! Jade comes back, Tiff kicks low, then Tiff runs. Cartwheel, but no Alabama Slam! Just a POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! Tiff survives that sudden turnaround and Jade is shocked! “This is Awesome!” as Jade looms over Tiff. Jade drags Tiff up, choke grips, and SLAM- NO, Tiff slips free and rolls Jade up! TWO, and Tiff goes to a corner.
Jade runs in, Tiff dodges, and Jade hits buckles! Tiff handsprings one more time, but Jade catches Tiff! But Tiff victory rolls through, runs, and TIFFY STOMPS! Cover, TWO!! Jade survives and now Tiff is shocked! Tiff hurries to a corner, climbs up, but Jade is right up after her! Jade brings Tiff up for a SUPERPLEX! Both women are down and the fans fire up again! Jade stirs, Tiff rolls away, and Tiff is safe on the apron. The fans rally, Jade crawls, but wait! NAOMI IS HERE! NAOMI ATTACKS JADE!!
Winner: Jade Cargill, by disqualification
The fans boo as Naomi is not letting go of her grudge! She HAMMERS away on Jade, laughs maniacally, and then SLAPS Jade! Naomi drags Jade up, and POSTS her! Naomi then drags Jade out to POST her again! Naomi CLUBS away on Jade in the corner, showing no mercy! Naomi drags Jade out of the corner one more time, to POST her a third time! Jade flops to the floor, Naomi says kiss this, and she laughs like the villain she’s become! Tiff is back and she’s mad at Naomi for ruining her match. But Naomi just takes her leave, ONLY FOR NIA JAX TO ATTACK!! The fans boo the Irresistible Force as she DRIBBLES Tiff off the mat!
Nia looms over Tiff now, and drags her to center, for the LEG DROP, brother! Nia says “One More Time! One More Time!” Then she drags Tiff to a drop zone, goes up, A-NIA-LATOR!! Nia smiles as she sits on Tiff, then gets up just to grab the title. Nia holds it up, will Tiffany finally feel the backlash of her cash-in?
Jacob Fatu is here!
Fort Worth fires back up as now the NEW WWE United States Champion heads to the ring, Solo Sikoa by his side. Jacob holds up the title, the fans fire up, and Jacob swings the belt around, almost hitting Solo. Solo nods, he understands how fired up the Samoan Werewolf is about this. Solo has the mic to say, “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, show some love and respect, for your NEW United States Champion, Jacob Fatu!” The fans cheer that! Solo says at WrestleMania, the world saw what Solo already knew: Jacob Fatu is the future. Fatu is the future of this company, but let’s remind you of something: Nobody in Solo’s family wanted Fatu here, except Solo.
The Bloodline thought Fatu was trouble. They thought he was too much of a risk. But y’know who changed that? Y’know who made it all happen? It was Solo! Solo is the reason Fatu is champion! Solo brought Fatu here, brought him to the Promised Land, got him off the streets and made him a champion! Fatu is champion because of Solo! This is exactly what happens when you love your family! Fatu would not be- Fatu snatches the mic from Solo! The fans fire up as Fatu stares Solo down. Fatu tells Solo to not get it twisted. Fatu told Solo that Fatu would win the US Championship. Fatu told Solo that the US title was coming home to the family!
And Fatu told Solo that Fatu would do it with him, or without him! And that is exactly what Fatu did. So, Texas, look at your NEW US Champion! The fans fire up for Fatu, and Fatu says see? He knows that this title makes him America’s Most Wanted! Hell, this title makes Fatu a menace to society! But at the end of the day, you better get in where you fit in! He all gas, no breaks with it! YADADADA MEAN!? But then LA KNIGHT is here! The fans fire up as The Mega Star has a mic, and from the stage, he says, “LEMME TALK TO YA!” The fans cheer, and Knight says at WrestleMania, he guaranteed that Fatu would eat a BFT, and BAH GAWD, he ate a BFT!
Knight knocked Fatu on his big fat head, Fatu reached out for the ropes, and good for him, because from there, Fatu was able to capitalize and win. Knight gives credit where credit is due, cuz it can happen to anybody on any night. Anybody can get it. But you gotta understand something, Knight goes to the back, everybody back there’s saying, “Man, you had one hell of a match at WrestleMania.” “YEAH!” Knight says he doesn’t care about having “one hell of a match,” Knight cares about winning a match! And about taking the title back. What he’s saying is, he wants his rematch, and he wants it tonight!
But wait! Drew McIntyre shows up! The Scottish Terminator steps out on stage, mic in hand, and Drew tells “Dallas” that it isn’t always easy being Drew McIntyre. Personally, it is, because he’s tall, jacked, handsome, and much like Texas, he has big guns. But professionally, Drew has been screwed time and time again. World title match after world title match. WrestleMania, Drew had to get through one last roadblock, and he and Damian Priest had one of the most violent matches in the history of WrestleMania! So Priest, you aren’t here tonight, we won’t see you for a while, so Drew will “thank” you. It was a pleasure to embarrass him in front of his entire family.
Drew tells the next stop was to be challenge John Cena for the WWE Championship, but Randy Orton jumped the line! The same Randy Orton that Drew beat three weeks ago. Is this World Wrestling Entertainment? Or Nepotism Wrestling Entertainment? Speaking of which, hi, Bloodline! Knight “yawns” and asks if Drew is done yet. Drew says he’ll get to Knight in a second. Okay, then continue on. Drew says he’s been watching Cena these past few weeks. Cena ain’t the same guy, he’s a punk now. Drew wants to fight the baddest dog in the yard. He wants the baddest champion in the yard. Jacob, Drew wants to fight you!
Knight says, “Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Can somebody wake me up when this mush mouth is done?” Drew says always with the jokes, huh? The only joke here was Knight’s last US title reign. Knight smirks and says, “Oh~! I would say your last title run was a joke, but I can’t remember it.” So if Drew has a problem with Orton, go talk to Orton. But right now, Drew is standing on time that belongs to Knight. Knight wants his US Championship, But if Drew wants to make claim, then why not come on in and show us? The fans cheer, Drew says okay, and he steps up! But Nick Aldis has everyone hold on a moment.
The fans boo but Aldis says we all know where this is going. Before Knight and Drew tear each other apart, here’s an alternative. They can all come backstage, put the tights and the boots on, lace ’em up, and here in Fort Worth, Texas, Aldis will give us Knight VS McIntyre 1v1, the winner is the #1 contender to the US Championship. The fans love that! Drew already heads back, and Knight warns Jacob that he’ll be coming back soon enough. But who will survive tonight to step to the Samoan Werewolf?
Backstage interview with Zelina Vega.
Byron Saxton catches La Muneca on her way to gorilla, and wants to review: Zelina beat Chelsea Green by count out two weeks ago, then beat her by pinfall just last week. If things go her way tonight, she will be the NEW Women’s US Champion. Where are her thoughts? Zelina says honestly, she’s known for having a big mouth, but tonight is one of those nights where she’s speechless. That’s how much this means to her. She’s wanted this for so long. Just like her mentor, Rey Mysterio, a former Men’s US Champion, and the late Eddie Guerrero, another former US Champion, it is time to bring some Latina Heat into the match.
And of course, just like how they do it here in Texas, you go big or you go home. Zelina ain’t going home until she has the title around her waist. Will Zelina finally add a bit more gold to her list of achievements? Or will there be no ending the Green Regime’s term?
WWE Women’s United States Championship: Chelsea Green w/ The Secret Her-vice VS Zelina Vega!
SmackDown returns as the challenger makes her entrance, followed by the champion’s. The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see who is THE champion-in-chief!
The bell rings and Chelsea runs up, but Zelina sends her into the corner! Zelina fires hands, whips corner to corner, but Chelsea reverses. Zelina goes up, Chelsea stays back and chicken wings. Chelsea turns Zelina but Zelina waistlocks back. Chelsea switches, they go to ropes, and Zelina bucks the O’Conner! Zelina wheelbarrows, FACEBSUTER, and cover, TWO! Zelina runs up to reel Chelsea in. Chelsea fights free, goes to ropes, but Zelina runs up to slip around to the outside! Chelsea fights free but Zelina trips her up! Zelina sees Piper & Alba creeping up, but then Chelsea BOOTS Zelina down!
Zelina argues with the ref, and that lets Alba RAM Zelina into the apron! Then Piper adds a SENTON on the floor! The fans boo but Chelsea salutes, and SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns again and Chelsea has Zelina up top. Cheslea SLAPS Zelina, climbs up, and then brings her up. Zelina fights the suplex and fires body shots! Chelsea ROCKS Zelina, then fireman’s carries! Zelina fights around, waistlocks, and pulls! Chelsea holds onto the ropes, but Zelina powers up to SUPER GERMAN SUPLEX! Both women are down, and the fans fire up! Zelina and Chelsea rise, the fans duel, and Zelina runs up. Zelina dodges Chelsea to LARIAT! And LARIAT again! Zelina blocks a boot, ELBOWS Chelsea, and Cheslea sits down! Zelina runs up to METEORA! Snapmare and Zelina goes up!
Zelina gives some Latina Heat, for another METEORA! Cover, TWO! Chelsea survives and Zelina is shocked! Alba argues from the apron, but Zelina DECKS her! Chelsea runs up to ENZIGIRI! Chicken wings, turnaround, but Zelina hits a BACKSTABBER! Chelsea ends up on ropes, the fans fire up as Zelina dials it up, but PIPER trips Zelina! The ref saw that! The fans boo Piper, but then the ref spots Alba creeping up on Zelina! The ref says no more shenanigans! He EJECTS the Secret Her-vice! The fans fire up as Piper & Alba throw a fit! Zelina waves bye, but Chelsea CLBOBERS Zelina! Chelsea whips, Zelina hops on, CODE RED!! Cover, ZELINA WINS!!!
Winner: Zelina Vega, by pinfall (NEW WWE Women’s United States Champion)
But now the Secret Her-vice rush back to the ring! Zelina dodges them, and she finally has her first singles title! The Green Administration is out, let’s pledge allegiance to the VEGA Administration!
Carmelo Hayes admires the Andre the Giant trophy.
Last week on WrestleMania SmackDown, it came down to H1M and Andrade, and in the end, Melo put his name down in history. The Miz is with H1M to say when it is all said and done, Melo will go down as the greatest Andre the Giant Battle Royal winner of all time! That is why Miz sacrificed himself for Melo! Because Miz has a vision for Carmelo Hayes. To commemorate this achievement, Miz got Melo something. Really? Really. Now c’mon, open it up. Melo pops the box open and inside is an Andre the Giant necklace! A big golden head on a big golden chain, and Melo tries it on. Perfect fit!
Miz says Melo earned it. Melo says yeah. This is bigger than just the win. This represents the chip that is on Melo’s shoulder. With this around Melo’s neck, he refuses to be overlooked. Yeah, cook! He refuses to be denied! Let’s go! And in the true spirit of Andre the Giant, with this around his neck, Melo is larger than life! He is the Tenth Wonder of the World! Because he is… HIM! Miz is inspired! He’s gonna go to the ring to get something off his chest. Miz lets Melo stay back here to enjoy his moment, cuz Miz is about to make his own. Miz heads to gorilla, but what exactly is The Hollywood A-Lister about to do?
SmackDown returns and Miz is in the ring.
Miz has a mic to say, “Since 2007, I’ve been an integral part of WrestleMania. But this year, at the highest grossing WrestleMania in history, I had no match, no mention, nowhere to be found. May I remind you, I main-evented WrestleMania, beating John Cena, retaining the WWE Championship, something that Cody Rhodes, your chosen hero, could not do last week. And yet he gets the cheers! The pyro, the spotlight, and I get it, I get it, he was champion, he deserves to be on WrestleMania. But when Rey Mysterio comes hobbling in to WrestleMania, does he come to a fellow legend to fill his boots?
“No, he goes to a guy who’s been here for two weeks. I’ve been here for 20 YEARS! What do I have to do? Wear a lucha mask and call myself ‘Rey?’ Then KO goes down! Orton needs an opponent! He needs an opponent! Do you guys want a guy who’s beaten Randy Orton for the WWE Championship? NO! You guys want a guy who’s an internet meme! A TikTok trend! A guy who does musical theater in a wrestling ring! I am sick of it! I am sick and tired of people showing up in the WWE, people I am a bigger star then! People that cannot lace my boots in this ring! I’m sick of them getting opportunity after opportunity!
“May I remind you, that I am the A-Lister! I am the Most Must-See WWE Superstar of all time! And may you never forget that I am the Miz! And I am…” The lights go out! Uh oh… Because ALEISTER BLACK is back in the WWE! The fans fire up as The Dark Father rises up from the shadows, and he goes right to the ring! The fans fire up more and even chant, “Welcome Back! Welcome Back!” as Aleister puts his vest aside. Miz is frustrated that his time in spotlight was taken away again, and then asks Aleister, “Who the hell do you think-” BLACK MASS!! Miz falls right over, and then Aleister sits cross-legged in the ring. Will SmackDown #FadeToBlack once again?
Backstage interview with Bianca Belair.
Byron is with The EST, and he notes her match at WrestleMania with Iyo Sky and Rhea Ripley was an instant classic. One of the best matches of the entire weekend, really. Unfortunately, Bianca didn’t win the title, and she didn’t leave Las Vegas unscathed. Can she tell us about her hand? Bianca says her fingers hurt, her feelings hurt, but no, she’s just kidding. She walked into WrestleMania with a broken finger, but it was worth it. They all fought ’til the end, and things didn’t go her way, but she is so proud of what the three of them did.
To her point, it was a great outing, but things didn’t go Bianca’s way. Iyo Sky is still the Women’s World Champion. Bianca says yes, Iyo found the perfect opportunity to capitalize, and Bianca can’t blame her because Bianca would’ve done the same thing. Now, Rhea… Well, Rhea found a way to slip her way into a match that Bianca earned, so that won’t be the last time Rhea and Bianca meet. But right now, Bianca is just focused on healing so she can get back to SmackDown, her home, and well, her home is divided. Bianca knows that when she returns, she’ll settle some unfinished business. Byron wishes The EST well, but when and where will Bianca make the biggEST return?
Naomi and Nia cross paths.
Nia tells Naomi that she doesn’t care about Jade. But when it comes to Tiffany and the title, just stay out of her way. Naomi says, “So long as you proceed… with… caution!” Naomi storms off, Nia isn’t quite intimidated, but will these two clash over their grudges? Or will things end up working together for what they both want?
WWE United States Championship #1 Contender’s Match: LA Knight VS Drew McIntyre!
We just saw these two argue over who gets to fight Jacob Fatu, so now they have to fight it out with each other. Will the Mega Star go right back for the belt he just lost? Or will the Scottish Terminator be one step away from completing his WWE Grand Slam?
SmackDown is picture in picture for the entrances, then returns to single picture once McIntyre has his pyro. The bell rings and the fans fire up. Knight and Drew circle, the fans rally up a bit more, and the two tie up. They’re in a deadlock, but Drew slips around to waistlock and SLAM! Knight flounders to a corner but Drew flexes. The fans cheer, Drew signals he’ll have the belt, but Knight brushes that off. The two reset and tie up again. The fans rally, Drew waistlocks, but Knight switches. Knight pushes Drew down and slaps him around! The fans cheer as Knight flexes! Drew brushes that off, and the two reset again.
Drew runs up, Knight dodges and Knight headlocks. Knight grinds but Drew power sup to back supelx! Knight lands out, pushes Drew, but Drew comes back to run Knight over! Drew slaps Knight around! Drew runs, Knight drops low, hurdle sover, and then BACK ELBOWS! The fans cheer as Knight gets around again, and he hits a BIG back suplex! Cover, TWO! Knight scuffs Drew, but Drew throat chops Knight! The fans are torn, Drew CHOPS Knight, and fans “WOO~!” Knight CHOPS, Drew CHOPS, repeat! Drew ROCKS Knight, then whips him, but Knight grabs the ropes. Knight then TOSSES Drew out! Drew lands on his feet!
Drew trips Knight and drags him out, but Knight ROCKS Drew! Knight brings Drew to the desk, the fans fire up, but Drew gets away. Knight pursues Drew into the ring, and he ROCKS Drew! And ROCKS him again! Knight has Drew up but Drew HOTSHOTS Knight! Drew then runs, and he BLASTS Knight off the apron! Knight hits barriers then the floor, and Drew soaks up cheers and jeers. Drew clutches his side, still feeling that Sin City Street Fight, so he lets the ring count handle this. The fans rally and even sing, “OH~ Drew McIntyre~!” Knight rolls in at 7 of 10, but Drew rains down fists! Drew then deadlifts Knight for a BRAINBUSTER! Cover, TWO!
Knight stays in this but Drew grits his teeth. Drew stands Knight up, but Knight counter punches! Knight fires hands, whips, but Drew reverses. Knight goes up, but Drew KICKS Knight outta the air! Cover, TWO! Knight survives, Drew snarls as he has to catch his breath, and he storms up on Knight again. The fans rally, Drew CHOPS, and Knight staggers away. Drew stalks Knight, Knight CHOPS, but Drew CHOPS! Drew KICKS Knight, DECKS him, then stomps away! The ref counts, Drew stops, and he has Knight on the apron. Drew drags Knight up, has him against the ropes, and ROCKS him!
Knight flops back into the ring, Drew eggs him on, and the fans duel. Drew stands Knight up, reels him in, and he suplexes, only for Knight to block! Drew CLUBS away on Knight, then suplexes, only for Knight to fight that! Drew KNEES low, CLUBS Knight down, then huffs ‘n’ puffs. Drew eggs Knight on again, and Knight rises up, only for Drew to reel him in. But Knight suplexes instead! The fans fire up while both men are down! Knight and Drew rise up slowly, and Knight fires haymakers! “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” Knight whips, Drew reverses, but Knight LEAPING LARIATS! Then RUSSIAN LEG SWEEPS!
Drew staggers, Knight whips, but Drew reverses to scoop. Knight slips free, shoves Drew into buckles, then JUMPING NECKBREAKERS! Cover, TWO! Drew survives and the fans rally! Knight drags Drew up, but Drew GLASGOW KISS HEADBUTTS! Then the underhooks, but Knight rolls through the Future Shock! Jackknife bridge, TWO! Knight goes to a corner, and he BOOTS Drew down! Knight goes up, spells it out, “L! A! KNIGHT! YEAH!” BOX JUMP ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO! Drew survives and the fans are torn again. Knight stalks Drew, kicks and cravat, but Drew rolls Knight away!
Drew runs up, Knight puts him on the apron! Then Knight ducks a punch to HOTSHOT Drew! Knight then runs to WRECK Drew with the dropkick! The fans fire up as Knight DRIBBLES Drew off the desk! “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” Knight winds up, and he SMACKS Drew off the desk again! The fans cheer as Knight puts Drew in the ring, but then SOLO SIKOA is here! The ref is busy with Drew, SAMOAN SPIKE for Knight!! Solo puts Knight in the ring, and Drew is confused. Drew says screw it, and he aims from the corner! “THREE! TWO! ONE!” But then DAMIAN PRIEST drags Drew out!!
Winner: Drew McIntyre, by disqualification
Priest fires off on Drew and the fans fire up! Priest THROWS Drew over barriers! Then he drags Drew back to ringside to ROCK Drew! Drew slumps against the desk, Priest choke grips! SOUTH OF HEAVEN through the desk!! The fans are thunderous as The Punisher just dealt out street justice to Drew McIntyre! But what does this mean for the #1 contender’s status? Knight tells Priest that Preist might’ve just cost him! But then JACOB FATU DIVES from the ring!! The fans are thunderous again, and Jacob POSTS Priest! Knight is up, but Jacob brings him around to RAM into steel steps!
Fatu puts Knight back in the ring, then he puts Priest in the ring, and he has a target in each corner! HIP ATTACK for Knight! SPLASH for Priest! Knight is in the drop zone, Fatu goes up, up, and BEST MOONSAULT EVER!! Then a HIP ATTACK for Priest!! Fort Worth is fired up, and Priest goes up, up, BEST MOONSAULT EVER for Priest!! The Samoan Werewolf just slaughtered two men at once, will no one even be able to face him for the title?
John Cena crosses paths with R-Truth!
They’re backstage, and Truth is glad Cena won the title. He’s been rooting for his hero since the beginning! If Cena needs Truth at any time for anything, just call. Cena doesn’t even respond, he just walks away. And then Jimmy Uso steps in. He shakes hands with Truth, and he asks when John Cena became so whack. Truth says there’s two sides to every story, Uce. That’s a REAL world champion. When Truth grows up, he’s gonna be just like Cena. But… You’re already grown up, Truth! Will Truth learn the truth about Cena on his own?
WWE Tag Team Championships TLC Triple Threat: The Street Profits VS Motor City Machine Guns VS DIY!
After months of back and forth between these three teams, and a few others here on SmackDown, it is time to finally put this one to rest. With tables, ladders, chairs, and no holding back, who will finally prove they are THE team on SmackDown?
The introductions are made, the belts are already high overhead, so it’s time to see who rises up and claims them as their own!
The bell rings and the fans rally up as all six men look up. But then DIY goes after MCMG! The Profits go after DIY, but DIY CLAW the eyes! Ciampa stomps Ford, Gargano stomps Dawkins, then they go out to fetch themselves a ladder! The fans want tables, but MCMG DROPKICK that ladder into DIY! The fans fire up, then the Profits and MCMG brawl! Shelley has Ford, Sabin HEADBUTTS Dawkins, and MCMG climb up to rain down fists! But DIY stop MCMG, they brawl some more, but Sabin & Shelley turn things around on Ciampa & Gargano. MCMG then crisscross to ELBOW the Profits, ROCK DIY, and repeat!
Ciampa swings, but into an atomic drop! Dropkick and Last Chancery, DREAM SEQUENCE! The fans fire up and MCMG set things up. Shelley holds the ropes open and Sabin DIVES into a chair!! Gargano then SMACKS Shelley in the leg! Gargano uses offense as defense, and then Ciampa JAMS Ford up with a chair! But Dawkins POUNCES Ciampa over the desk! Gargano runs up, Dawkins picks him up, and he POSTS Gargano! Dawkins fires up, the fans fire up with him, and Dawkins fetches a ladder. Dawkins puts the ladder in, he’s all alone, and he hurries to set the ladder up. Dawkins climbs, but Sabin is in!
Sabin hops on for a SLEEPER, but Dawkins still climbs! The fans fire up, Dawkins fires elbows, but Shelley trips Dawkins up! Dawkins has a leg stuck int he rungs, and Shelley CLUBS away on it! Then DRAPING DRAGON SCRWE in the ladder rungs! Dawkins falls in a heap, and now MCMG take ownership of the ladder. Gargano is back, only for MCMG to mug him! They SMACK Gargano off rungs! Ciampa is back, MCMG mugs him now, and they stomp him down in the corner. MCMG drag Ciampa up, and they SMACK Ciampa off rungs! MCMG keeps the ladder standing and the fans rally up.
Ford is back, but now MCMG mugs him! They whip, Ford ducks the ladder, but the ladder is sent into Ford! Dawkins is back to DECK Shelley and DECK Sabin! Dawkins folds up the ladder, puts it aside, and he CYCLONE SPLASHES Shelley! CYCLONE SPLASH for Sabin! Dawkins goes up, up, but MCMG trip him up! MCMG have Dawkins in the Tree of Woe, and they stand on the groin! The Curse of Greatness is feeling really bad right now, but MCMG grab themselves a chair. The fans cheer as Sabin sets the chair in place, for Shelley’s FULL METAL DROPKICK! MCMG then see Ford coming, and Shelley JAMS him up!
But Ford blocks the chair shot! Only for Sabin to FULL METAL MISSILE DROPKICK! The fans fire up again, and MCMG fetch the ladder. They set that in front of Dawkins’ face, but Gargano drags Shelley out of the ring! Gargano SMACKS Shelley off the apron! Ciampa does the same to Sabin, and then DIY YANKS the ladder into Dawkins’ face! DIY and MCMG brawl on the outside gain, but Ford FLIES over the corner! Direct hit on DIY and MCMG, and the fans are going nuts! All six men are down and writhing, but Ford manages to rise up. Ford hobbles around, finds himself a ladder, and he puts that in the ring.
Fort Worth still wants tables, but Ford sets his ladder up because he wants the prize! Ford climbs, but Ciampa is in! Ciampa grabs at a foot, Ford kicks free, so Ciampa climbs the other side! Ciampa keeps Ford from grabbing belts, but Ford does the same. Gargano is setting up another ladder right behind them! Gargano climbs while Ciampa and Ford brawl. The belts are so close, but neither Ford nor Gargano can get a good grip! Gargano figures screw it, FLYING FLATLINER off the ladder! Ciampa grabs the belts! But Dawkins drags Ciampa down! Dawkins DECKS Ciampa! Dawkins now sets the ladders side-by-side before he climbs.
DIY returns, and Ciampa grabs at Dawkins while Gargano climbs the second ladder. Gargano CLUBS Dawkins, goes up, but then Dawkins scoops Gargano! The fans fire up for the SUPER BIG ENDING!! Shoutout to Big E, but then Ciampa tosses one of the ladders. Ciampa focuses on one, but Sabin hurries to stop him! Sabin has an arm through the rungs! Dawkins is back, and he SHOVES the ladder over! Ciampa ends up crotched on the rope! Sabin is managing to cling to the ropes, but Shelley is there to fire hands on Dawkins! Shelley TOSSES Dawkins out, then he and Sabin reset the ladder. But Ciampa is back!
Ciampa SMACKS Shelley with a chair! And he SMACKS Sabin with a chair! Gargano returns with a chair of his own! Ciampa puts a chair around Shelley’s neck! Gargano aims, and he hits a HOMERUN!! Shelley sputters and falls away, Ciampa keeps Sabin down, and Gargano shoves the ladder over. But the ladder’s so tall, it bounces off the ropes to stand back up! Gargano tries again and the ladder finally stays on the ropes. Ciampa then suplexes Sabin, FULL METAL BRAINBUSTER!! Dawkins is back, but Gargano JAMS him up! And SMACKS him down! Ciampa SMACKS Dawkins again! Gargano JAMS Dawkins again and again!
The fans boo but DIY sit their chairs side-by-side. Gargano says hold on. And he flips them around! It’s a wedge! The fans freak out as DIY DOUBLE- NO, Dawkins fights the suplexes! Ford drags Ciampa out of the ring! Gargano DECKS Dawkins, DECKS Ford, but then Dawkins ROCKS Gargano! SILENCER on the chair wedge!! Gargano writhes and the fans go nuts again! The Profits then have the ladder to themselves. But then they say, “GET THE TABLES!!” The fans fire up for the Dudley shoutout, and the Profits find a table! They put that in the ring, Ford moves the ladder aside, and Forth Worth cheers for “TABLES! TABLES!”
Ciampa YANKS Dawkins down, but Ford SUPERKICKS Ciampa! Dawkins has Ciampa in the Electric Chair, and Ford takes aim! Ford builds speed, and FLIES! BLOCKBUSTER DOOMSDAY onto everyone!! All six men are down, and the fans lose their minds all over again! “This is Awesome!” as all six men slowly rise, and Dawkins ROCKS Sabin! Ford borrows a fan’s prosthetic leg! Ford CLUBS Gargano with it! He gives it back to the fan and the crowd is loving this! Ford then sets up a ladder bridge between ring and barrier. The front row sits back a bit, but Ciampa CLUBS Ford! Ciampa SMACKS Ford off the bridge!
Shelley SMACKS Gargano off a table, Ciampa storms up to CLUB Shelley, and then DIY mugs Shelley. Sabin and Dawkins brawl on the other end, and Sabin JAMS Dawkins with a chair. Sabin puts Dawkins on a table and rains down hands! Wait, Ciampa is bringing a table of his own around the way, and he SMACKS Ford off the edge of it! Gargano and Shelley brawl, but Ciampa finally has his table set up on the ramp side. Shelley SMACKS Gargano off steel steps, then SMACKS him off there again! Ford turns things around on Ciampa to put him on a table! Sabin goes up, FROG SPLASH on Dawkins through the table!!
Ford sees that, but then he looks at Ciampa on that table. Ford says bet, and he builds speed to FLY! SWANTON BOMB on Ciampa through the table!! The fans are thunderous as now Gargano and Shelley are the only ones not in some kind of wreckage! “This is Awesome!” as Ford crawls away from Ciampa. Sabin leaves Dawkins behind, but Gargano is in with Ford. Ford is up top but Gargano fires hands! Ford GAMANGIRIS in return! Then Ford goes back up, but Ciampa rises! Ciampa drags Ford down, but Ford SUPERKICKS! Ford runs up, but into a BOOT! And then another BOOT! Ciampa reels Ford in and looks to the bridge!
Ciampa fireman’s carries, AIR RAID CRASH down through the ladder bridge!! Fort Worth loses their minds all over again as Ciampa shouts for Gargano to climb! Gargano sets the ladder up, climbs, but Shelley anchors a leg! Gargano fights Shelley, but Sabin is climbing in from the other side. Gargano ROCKS Sabin, DECKS Shelley, and repeat! Sabin wobbles, Gargano lines up his shot. ONE FINAL- NO, Sabin stops the DDT! He SHOVES Gargano into the post, then MCMG give Gargano a DOUBLE BOOT SANDWICH at the corner! Sabin drags Gargano closer to the table, then stands on it…?! Shelley goes up, SKULL & BONES through the table!!!
The fans are going nuts all over again as MCMG risks it all just for this match! “This is Awesome!” as all six men are down somewhere around ringside. But Ciampa slowly rises! He slaps himself to fire back up, and he climbs the ladder! Ciampa is within reach of those belts, gets his hands on the bracket, and- WAIT! MCMG is folding up that ladder! Ciampa is now pulling a Jeff Hardy by dangling from the belts! MCMG grab chairs, Ciampa is a pinata for the beating! Ciampa’s legs are the only real targets, though, so that’s not enough. MCMG get a table under Ciampa, but they don’t see Dawkins climbing the ladder!
MCMG pull at Ciampa’s legs, but Dawkins takes aim! Well, if Ciampa is Jeff Hardy, then Dawkins is about to go Rated R! Dawkins FLYING SPEARS Ciampa off the belts and down through a table!!!! Everyone is losing their minds, including MCMG! MCMG clears the wreckage, and fans hope they “FIGHT FOREVER!” But someone has to win these belts, and now MCMG sets the ladder back underneath them. Shelley climbs, but Gargano JAMS Sabin up! And then he CHUCKS the chair at Shelley! MCMG is down, Gargano climbs up, and the fans boo. Gargano reaches the top, paws at the belts, but Sabin hurries up after him!
Gargano and Sabin brawl up top, they touch the belts, then throw more hands! The fans cheer Sabin and boo Gargano as the shots keep going. Sabin gets the edge, he SMACKS Gargano off rungs, and Gargano falls! But Ford SPRINGBOARDS to the ladder!! Ford DECKS Sabin, grabs the belts, but Gargano drags him back down! Gargano traps Ford’s legs in the rung! SUPERKICK! Ford is stuck and Gargano literally climbs over him! Gargano reaches up, but Sabin is back again! Sabin fires hands, Gargano fires back, and Ford gets free!? Ford climbs from the side of the ladder! Ford fires hands on each of them!
Ford SMACKS Gargano, SMACKS Sabin, and they both fall! Ford is back up top, and he has the belts off the hook! PROFITS WIN!!
Winners: The Street Profits (still WWE Tag Team Champions)
Fort Worth cheers as The Profits are still up! They wanted the smoke, they got the smoke, and they walked through the fire to still be forged in gold! Will anyone ever bring them down from the heights they’ve reached?
My Thoughts:
An awesome SmackDown After Mania, with a great pivot towards the Backlash build, since they’ve gotta get on that with it only two weeks away. Very good promo from Cena and Orton to open tonight, though framing this as “Cena should settle down and become a family man” is a bit odd. Cena did do a good job roasting that kid and his dad, though. It was obviously going to be Cena VS Orton in St. Louis, so they just made it official. Orton standing tall twice in one week already indicates that Orton is not winning. There is going to be much more drama in this, with Cena trying to run out the clock, so to speak. Also, good to finally see R-Truth and John Cena interact, and I hope we get more of this as time goes on.
Awesome match from Los Garza VS Fraxiom to make Fraxiom’s call up official. Great win for Fraxiom, but I’m very curious to see if the team sticks together much longer. They love playing up the dysfunction, and the first promo segment from them likely keeps that going, but they’re still a great team so they could go for the tag titles before a break-up happens. Aleister Black’s return being knocking out Miz was a decent move, especially after Miz got done ranting about how he feels overshadowed. Also, Miz giving Melo that goofy Andre the Giant necklace is a bit much, but whatever, Melo surely will have a good run from here on out.
Good promo from Tiffany and Jade to give us their “impromptu” match, but it makes so much sense for Naomi to go after Jade and Nia to go after Tiff. We’re definitely getting a rematch of Naomi VS Jade, and obviously Tiff VS Nia is on the table, but I wonder if we get a “Can they coexist?” type tag match as part of the build. We might even end up with something bigger given Jade and Naomi also deserve something title wise. Especially when sadly, Bianca Belair can’t do anything with Jade and Naomi given that bad hand. But she did hint that no matter what, she’s staying on SmackDown, which makes sense because duh, her husband Montez is here.
Very good match but great moment for Zelina to win the Women’s US Championship. Zelina herself has been deserving something like this, it’s partly why she is the inaugural Queen of the Ring, and now she has even more validation of her hard work and ability. Great stuff in the Men’s US Championship story, with Fatu putting Solo in his place but then Knight and McIntyre stepping up. Great contender’s match, even with Solo going after Knight and Priest going after Drew. I feel like we’re getting a Fatal 4 Way here, but maybe that’s too much for Fatu’s first defense. Either way, I’m liking that Drew could be getting himself that Grand Slam with this US Championship.
And what an amazing main event. In many ways, these tag titles should’ve been on the WrestleMania card somewhere, perhaps swapping places with the World Tag Team Championships. There’s probably something about how Mania having all those sponsors, The War Raiders felt more Clash of Clans coded than the three teams in this match. And maybe there’s something about the “star power factor,” aka Logan Paul gets a spot because he’s Logan Paul, barf.
But at the same time, I think the Mania snub motivated these six guys to really go above and beyond. Them recreating THE famous spot from Dudley Boyz VS Hardy Boyz VS Edge & Christian was awesome. Kudos to Dawkins being Edge in that moment. Ford did a lot of great stuff himself, and him finishing it off was also great, I really hope we get more great stuff from the Profits and the whole SmackDown Tag Division.
My Score: 8.9/10
About Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
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Coverage
Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 4.24.25
We get another chapter of Hardy Compound shenanigans! NEMETH BROTHERS! WE KNEW YOU’D COME!
Oh boy, the best thing to come from the TNA product has been on WWE programs for the last month or so. Can we start getting some non-garbage episodes that make sense with wrestling that isn’t useless or atrocious? And Trey Miguel is the first person out…so my faith is dwindling.
I hate these early stages of the Delirious Dreamer combination. This crap makes me miss Tigre Uno, Dixie Carter, hell even the Claire Lynch angle was so disgustingly cringe it was car crash entertaining. You know, like Jersey Shore. So let’s see if something can stop sucking.
.@NicTNemeth has a strange run-in with Willow The Wisp…
WATCH #TNAiMPACT on TNA+: https://t.co/ZTlWqchIaY pic.twitter.com/oATIF574yn
— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) April 25, 2025
Ratings:
- Trey Miguel & Ace Austin vs Moose & JDC w/Alisha: JDC wins after interference – ** 1/4
- Jacy Jayne w/ Fatal Influence vs Rosemary: Jacy wins via Rolling Punch – **
- Cinematic Hardy Compound: Kaiba Boys vs Hardy Boyz: 15/7, 10/10, 100/100, Hardy thing ever!
- Tessa Blanchard vs Missa Kate: Tessa wins via Buzzsaw DDT – **
- Joe Hendry & Elijah vs Ethan Page & Kaz: Elijah wins via Highwayman’s Farewell – ** 3/4
Results:
Trey Miguel & Ace Austin vs Moose & JDC w/Alisha
JDC and Trey start it’s just chain wrestling, nothing worth notating. The big early spot is slow and dumb, Trey goes for a Springboard Moonsault while in the Arm Wringer to turn it into a slow Arm Drag followed by a slow Dropkick. Throws JDC into the face corner, and Moose is late to the help spot so Trey has to beckon for him to come forward for a Tandem Drop Toe Hold causing Moose to Headbutt JDC in the groin. Double Dropkick sends Moose to the floor, but he doesn’t sell it long so he plucks Trey off the apron, smashes him and JDC tags out as we go to commercial. Jesus Christ this is cornball trope start and no one is looking good in the first 5 minutes. Am I possibly a little a jaded? Well of course, the shows have sucked for weeks and you start with bog standard “make fun of the heel” team start and its slow and unengaging. Maybe Dreamer should ask Trips if TNA talent can use the PC to learn psychology or…something interesting.
We come back and the heels are still magically in control with JDC locking in a Hammerlock Suplex into a Keylock. Tag to Moose and Trey is sooo banged up apparently an Arm Wringer throws him to the mat like a bitch. Starting off the show so damn slow is not really a good luck to keep people watching the show. It’s only like 8:20 and I want to go to sleep. Moose of course gets cocky taking his time to do a Jacknife Powerbomb so of course Trey counters, Ace gets the hot tag and guess what? Ace starts laying out both guys with quick strikes, Tijeras, Kicks, Click Click Boom, his corner dodge into the Mochizuki Triangle Kick but Moose kicks out. *sigh*
Ace decides to tag Trey back in, but their version of Poetry in Motion gets caught by Moose and Moose Powerbombs Trey into Ace. System tandem offense, Dropkick from JDC, Uranage from Moose, Down and Dirty from Dango but Ace breaks up the pin. Ace assists Trey with the Knee Slide Tornado DDT to take out Moose, they look for a finish but Lish distracts the ref, Dango kicks Trey in the dick, Brian Myers interferes and JDC wins the match.
Yawn…basic bullshit is not really driving attention.
Next is a video package for Masha and Tessa with Masha talking…who can’t cut a promo in English and Dreamer of course inserts himself for a fake “do it for your trainer” add. Oh Christ, this is like Rocky IV from Wish, but the Russian is the babyface. I hate every second of this and welcome the commercial break.
While I think this promo goes on entirely too long, you can decide if it sucks or not:
.@Santana_Proud reflects ahead of #TNARebellion, where his war with @MustafaAli_X reaches its boiling point in a Falls Count Anywhere match.
WATCH #TNAiMPACT on TNA+: https://t.co/ZTlWqchalq pic.twitter.com/zeSr7tQQVT
— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) April 25, 2025
Jacy Jayne w/ Fatal Influence vs Rosemary
Start isn’t really a thing since Rosemary feigns the Mist so Jacy runs away, when she does get back in Rosemary clocks her, beats on her in the corner, Upside Down and then gorgeous Fallon and the pack tactics give Jacy enough of a distraction to PK kick Rosemary and take control. Rosemary gets out of a Headlock with biting, then bits Jacy on the face and follows it up with a Shotgun Dropkick. Jacy tries to Reverse the Irish Whip but Rosemary kicks off the buckle, turns and connects with a Flying Forearm. Rosemary gets a little distracted, eats a V-Trigger but zombie rises from the dead and Face Buster into a Spicolli Driver attempt, but Jazmyn gets involved, Rosemary drops Jazmyn and when she turns around Jacy connects with her Rolling Punch for the finish.
Fatal Influence attack Rosemary and Mirror Match Xias come to make the save.
.@milanmiracle is ON THE CASE! @Jazmyn_nyx_wwe, @FallonHenleyWWE and @jacyjaynewwe vs. @XiaBrookside, @TheLeiYingLee and @WeAreRosemary at #TNARebellion!?
WATCH #TNAiMPACT on TNA+: https://t.co/ZTlWqchIaY pic.twitter.com/eTAQNOgiO8
— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) April 25, 2025
Cinematic Hardy Compound: Kaiba Boys vs Hardy Boyz
Willow the Wisp sighting early, he drops the umbrella and starts dancing to Kendrick’s They Not Like Us, then Jeff shows up and attacks Nic, they brawl in a pickup truck. Seto Nic Ziggler hits the Superkick, but Jeff turns it around, they get on top of the cab and Jeff wants to Powerbomb Nic through conveniently placed tables, but Back Body Drop sends Jeff crashing. Nic goes into the truck and finds a tag team title. Is that the idea? First person to find the titles like an RPG quest?
Matt Pearl Harbors Mokuba near a fountain as it cuts to Nic walking through the house at the arcade, and he finds their title case and he thinks it’s booby trapped so he does the heist thing of replacing the title with an exercise weight. Matt has a PREMONITION!!! THe Kaibas have the titles! And Ryan turns things around for a moment until he eats gate and gets Speared into the pool with Reby playing piano looking like a snack. Ryan is teleported into the house for Maxel the Great with Senor Benjamin as the ticket taker and most of the Hardy kids sitting in the theater. It’s an old 1920s Silent Film with Maxel beating up Ryan and the kids keep saying he sucks. He gets showered in roses, Benjamin is crying the kids rejoice and cut back to Ryan floating in the pool. Dr Wolfie is diagnosing Ryan on the couch and they have a fantastic conversation. Wolfie blames the Matt Hardy fans for Booing Wolfie. Wolfie asks if Ryan if he ever hugged his parents and Ryan starts crying and Wolfie goes “That’ll be 500 dollars for the emotional damage”.
Gothic Baby Shadow Realms Ryan into his Emo Phase with Simple Plan playing. Then he has a roast battle with Bardie. Ryan is getting pelted with eggs while Matt is drowning him in the pool. Nic saves his Little Brother from drowning in the pool (been there). Maxel attacks, Nic Pie Faces the kid, Ryan ambushes Matt with a title shot and then BROTHER NERO! We’re just missing Itchweed to complete the essences of Jeff.
Nemeths see Jeff stalking them and they bail. So we may get a return to the Broken Brothers.
.@ryrynemnem is working some things out with Dr. Wolfie.
WATCH #TNAiMPACT on TNA+: https://t.co/ZTlWqchIaY pic.twitter.com/ydPCkpfP6l
— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) April 25, 2025
That was glorious and the fact it’s used as a set up for a real match instead of a replacement for a real match makes it actually better.
Tessa Blanchard vs Missa Kate
Tessa doesn’t take her serious after a quick flurry so Kate lands a Tilt-a-Whirl Gourdbuster before Tessa turns things around and lays in offense. Dropkick, Springboard Elbows, Teardrop Suplex, and Tessa calms down a little after taking complete control again. Tessa keeps Kate in the corner and lays in Forearms, Kicks, goes for a Splash but Kate finally dodges and slams Tessa face first into a Buckle. Tessa hits the Cutter, goes to the top, MAGNUM, Buzzsaw DDT just because.
Masha attacks Tessa after the match and hits the Russian Death Device and puts her in a Fujiwara Armbar until Tessa gets away and bails to the floor while Masha holds the ring.
Joe Hendry & Elijah vs Ethan Page & Kaz
This whole match is stupid. Hendry had no tape at Mania, went against “doctor’s orders” to defend the title at Rebellion this Sunday anyway…so they put him in a worthless tag match when they didn’t want him active? Delirious and Dreamer need to be shot in the head. It won’t hit anything.
Elijah and Kaz start this match, Kaz looks dumb and gets dogwalked and then Rope Walked because heels aren’t allowed to be competent against “fan favorites” until at least 3 minutes into a match. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Back from the commercial break, Hendry and Elijah Double Clothesline Kaz and he’ll prolly slip something in a minute or so. Elijah does 10 Count Punches dropping Kaz, into the ropes, Kaz hops over him but Elijah throws him towards Page. Weird…but okay. Ethan calls for Hendry, and they lock up causing Hendry to wince at the arm that isn’t Kayfabed well, but Hendry hits the ropes, Shoulder Tackle into Hip Toss with “bad” arm, now Stalling Suplex that is just dropped immediately because of “arm”. Tags out quickly to Elijah and Ethan gets Manhattan Dropped and Big Booted into Saturday. Kaz takes a cheap shot when Elijah hits the ropes, so Ethan pounces and the heels finally have some momentum. Double Team on Elijah into a Rude Awakening from Kaz for two.
Ethan tries to keep Elijah isolated, Elijah gets the boot up, but he cuts off Elijah from the tag, Ethan tags in Kaz and a Slingshot Leg Drop gets another two. Elijah fights out of the corner, knocks down Ethan, counter wrestling from Kaz and Elijah before a Jumping Knee Lift levels Kaz. Elijah looks for the tag but Ethan picks Hendry off the apron and throws him into the steps. Heels doing the dogpile thing. Ethan throws Elijah into a corner, Up and Over but Ethan catches him just to get kicked away. Joe drags himself to the corner, simultaneous tags, Lariats into Sack of Shit for both heels. Attitude Adjustment on Kaz for only two. Hendry is overselling the injury no one cares enough about to write logically. So good for him that he’s doing their job, it’s just creative that isn’t. Kaz catches Hendry in Fade to Black but Hendry gets out, Scoop Slam into the Springboard Leg Drop but Hendry kicks out. Kaz wants the Chicken Wing on the bad arm, but Ethan tags himself in causing infighting, Avalanche Tandem Superplex but Elijah shoves Ethan into the pinfall to break it. Elijah and Ethan throw hands, Crossroads from Elijah, Backstabber from Kaz, Rope Run Cutter from Hendry on Kaz, Spin and pose, Standing Ovation attempt but the arm gives, Elijah tags in, Ethan refuses to tag Kaz, Highwayman’s Farewell from Elijah.
Overall Score: 6.4/10
All of the points are for Fallon Henley existing, Lei Ying Lee and the Hardy Compound match. Without the Hardy match the show was like a 2. Bad logic, bad booking, heels are too samey with everyone being a dweeb that has to get beat on for 3-5 minutes before they can remember they can wrestle. Sean Waltman is also an interesting wrinkle in the System and Rascalz thing, but the first hour of this show was useless. If people continued to watch for the Hardy match, that was the only thing that may have entertained new eyes because of WrestleMania.
Rebellion is Sunday and next Thursday starts at 10 Eastern…ugh. If TNA doesn’t get off the west coast or work days, I won’t review any of this positively. First World problems, fully aware. But come on now, especially with the shit writing from the last month or so, this show isn’t worth staying up if they TNA personally paid people to review it. It would be totally different if the content was entertaining.
You know what, just give the Hardy’s the book. I’d rather insanity than forgetting to write in logic to a kayfabe injury and because things are pre-taped the WM appearance makes no sense and sudden over selling makes less sense. This isn’t booking into a corner this is booking into a Short Bus with a flat tire.
About Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
Classic POD is WAR
Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
Powered by RedCircle
Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (4/10/25)
It's gonna be May!
Bandwagon Nerds #283: Ice, Ice, Baby
Daredevil vs Muse, Villain Madness, news about Spider-Man 4, Superman, and the Nintendo Switch 2, plus the Nerds pay their...
Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu Results & Report! (4/1/25)
Happy Sixth Anniversary!
Mindless Wrestling Podcast: WrestleMania 41 Scorecard: The Good, The Bad And The Ugly
With WrestleMania 41 in the rearview mirror, we break down both nights and give it a final grade.
Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (4/25/25)
Time for some TLC!
DWI Podcast #473: Snap Into It
Best friend of shoe joins us as we discuss the fallout from WrestleMania 41!
Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 4.24.25
We get another chapter of Hardy Compound shenanigans! NEMETH BROTHERS! WE KNEW YOU'D COME!
Mitchell’s ROH Results & Report! (4/24/25)
The Chef is back!
Mitchell’s WWE Evolve Results & Report! (4/23/25)
Introducing: The Vanity Project
POD is WAR: I Could Put 15 Japanese Guys In Here (WrestleMania / NFL Draft)
Andrew Balaz, Rey Cash and PC Tunney invite you to come along on a trip inside the minds of Los...
Mitchell’s AEW Dynamite Results & Report! (4/23/25)
Let the good times roll!
Greg DeMarco Show: WWE Moonsault Mania
WrestleMania 41 was a history making event--so much more than just too many moonsaults!
Mitchell’s WWE NXT Results & Report! (4/22/25)
Luck be a lady tonight
